Overload
Thump. Her fist hit the bag again with a dull thud. She was getting a little tired by this point, but she needed the distraction. These were some of her more relaxing moments. Sure, she had all the time she could spend alone with Mydnight to relax but this was a little different. Alone in her own little world, headphones in and a bag in front of her to let off steam.
Yang had been joining her recently but today she was alone and she was a little glad for it. She enjoyed their joint workouts but every now and again it was nice to just let it all out and not have to worry about instructing someone else. Not that she needed to teach much of anything to the young blonde anyway.
She knew how to fight. In a lot of ways, she was far more mobile and quicker than Ambur was. All Ambur really ever did was strength training with Yang. She knew that her younger counterpart had muscle to gain and Yang certainly didn't mind the idea. She was never going to have Ambur's brute strength but with her semblance, someday she may actually get close on a counter strike.
Ambur's fist hit the bag again and this time, as they did so often, the chain holding it up from the ceiling snapped and the bag flew back a few feet before sliding to a stop on the rubbery gym floor. This hardly garnered any awed looks anymore and she was at least happy for that. This was a regular occurrence for her and the first several times it had happened all the students in the gym had given her awkward stares of awe and fear. Now though it was just a few sidelong nervous looks from freshmen who had never seen it happen before.
Students broke equipment in the gym all the time. They were trained warriors with extremely powerful weapons after all. But breaking steel chains with your bare hands was a little too outside the realm of normal, even for Beacon.
Ambur ripped the velcro of her fingerless gloves and slowly peeled them off her fingers as she headed for the locker room. That would have to be enough for one day. She used to pick the bags up by herself until Professor Ozpin elected to tell her that they had attendants for that.
She needed a shower anyway. Mydnight was probably waiting for her already. This evening's workout had taken a little longer than normal. Usually, Ambur stopped when Yang was exhausted, rather than when she was. One can only get up from Ambur's punches so many times in one sitting, even when she was pulling them.
This used to scare her. It used to make her skin creep and crawl and her nerves all fire and muscles twitch. Just the thought of being naked in the locker room, even on the days she was lucky enough to have the showers to herself is still skeeved her out to think that someone could catch even the slightest glimpse of her.
Now when she caught the other girls staring it didn't seem to matter anymore. It hardly ever crossed her mind really. There were just so many other things to keep her mind focussed on. Always thinking, always busy.
That was the life you had to lead if you were going to keep the thoughts of your failures out of your head. To keep the voices from crawling around in your mind. Voices that constantly whispered in your ear about how you'd gotten your friends killed.
She peeled off her sports bra and shorts before letting the water run down her body and soak through her hair. She felt eyes on her but didn't need to look. She was not average. That was what had closed her off to begin with all those years ago but now it seemed liberating. She was worth looking at. Olivier had taught her that it didn't matter what people thought of her. That people could look at her and it didn't have to make her feel anything, nevermind bother her.
It only mattered when they had been pitying or wondering about her in the waiting rooms of all the doctors' offices she'd had to frequent over the last year. She hated the way they'd looked at her, even fully clothed she'd felt exposed and vulnerable, like old Ambur. Like if you looked too hard she'd shatter like glass and turn back into her old nervous self.
Other than that the only eyes that mattered were Mydnight's.
She valued Liv's opinions, of course, but those had been satisfied a long time ago. She hadn't even tried giving her any advice in over a year because Liv thought Ambur had a genuine handle on it and so far, she had. Her old style had mixed in a little with the newer things. Some dark make up here and there and Liv had let her mix some black clothing back in but they weren't the kinds of clothes she used to wear. No more baggy sweaters and sweatpants in public.
No more trying to hide from the world when she stood out like a sore thumb anyway. It had been hard to get used to, but the way that Mydnight looked at her now had made it more than worth it. Of course, she'd learned that she never had to change for Mydnight but even her sweet wolf boy had admitted freely that he did love how she looked this way. Strong and confident and so very un-hidden.
Knowing that her parents approved of the change had helped her out a lot as well. They'd never been unsupportive before but had no trouble at all admitting to her, like Mydnight had, that they were glad to see her break out of her shell. She was sure her father probably wasn't too fond of her combat outfit among other things but if he wasn't he'd never said so.
He probably didn't want to sound like a hypocrite, considering Ambur had mooched almost all of her genes from her mother. If he could fall in love with a younger version of Serena who, in pictures, wore things and flaunted what she had like Ambur now did, he didn't have much room to criticize her for doing so.
All the other girls in the showers would routinely take turns gawking at her through the guise of rinsing their hair or trying to wash hard to reach places and it just didn't matter anymore.
When she was finished she pulled her towel around herself and made her way to her locker. Once there she did her best to dry off, ringing out her shoulder-length hair into the towel afterward. Inside she found the clothes she'd picked out for their date and began pulling them on. Warmer clothes for sure, but nothing baggy. Jeans, sneakers, her favorite gold long sleeve shirt, and her golden hoodie to top it off. She moved to the sinks to do her makeup as well and, without taking too much time to get it perfect or go too in-depth, she finished quickly and made her way back toward her dorm.
She didn't have to go all the way there though as, even with snow on the ground, she found her partner waiting on a bench in the quad waiting for her. "You're a freak, you know that?" She snickered as she held her hand out to him. She could see the red tips of his ears and especially his big golden eyes glowing in the night air. It helped that there were lamps all around the quad but his eyes always glowed that way and it was one of the first things that she'd noticed about him all those years ago.
Mydnight's vision snapped up from his scroll and to his partner's face before his vacant expression turned up into an easy smile.
"Yeah, what of it?" He laughed as he took her hand and she pulled him to his feet. He was always doing this now. Just sitting out in the cold like it was nothing. It really was nothing to him though and she had to concede that of all the times they'd touched he was always warm. Just another thing to love about him. He kept her warm all winter in their shared bed. It was a little annoying in the summer-time but the central air in the dorms was better than the heating system so it all evened out in the end.
"Nothing," she smiled and pressed a kiss to his cheek. "Just thought you should know," she winked and watched him snort a short laugh. "You find a movie?"
"Yeaaahh I think so," he said as they began walking toward the shuttle landing. "This one looks okay," he handed her his scroll and she began to watch the short trailer while they walked.
"This is a little romantic for your tastes wolf boy," she faked a gasp and held her hand over her heart until he burst out laughing. "You didn't just pick this because you thought I'd like it, did you?"
"Nah it actually looks alright," he chuckled and pointed to the screen. "No singing and it's not a rom-com," he shrugged and pursed his lips. "It might be alright."
"I'm not complaining," Ambur shrugged and handed him the device back. He shoved it down in his pocket. "Just surprised is all."
"Surprised that I like romance?" He raised an eyebrow. "Or surprised that I like you," he smirked.
"Both," she elbowed him as light as he could and he mock fell to the side to tease her. She reached out and grabbed his sleeve though and pulled him back to her and let her arm go around him as she held their bodies together. The pair laughed together all the way up the ramp and into their seats on the shuttle.
"Is it that hard to believe?" He asked before touching his fingers to her chin and tipping her lips up to his. The kiss made her feel like she was floating. They always did. It almost still didn't feel real. That the boy of her dreams could be so madly in love with her. When the kiss broke she had her eyes closed and her bottom lip in her mouth. "I'll take that as a yes," he chuckled before leaning back in his seat.
"Shut up," she snickered and leaned her head into his shoulder. "What did I tell you about being perfect."
"To always do it forever and ever," he thought aloud sarcastically. Ambur couldn't hold in her laughter as her head nestled into the crook of his neck. "Is that not right?" He smirked again.
"Hmmm," she hummed happily and threaded her fingers into his. "No I don't think so," she pressed a smiling kiss into his neck and felt his leg begin to bounce beside hers. His tail began to swish behind her as well and she could feel it knocking against her back each time it changed direction. "Hmmhmmm...you're so honest."
"Hah," he shoved her away a little and crossed his legs. She let her hand rest on his thigh and could feel his muscles tightening as if he were trying to focus, just as she suspected. "Sorry I like you so much," he stuck his tongue out at her and put his arm around her shoulders and pulled her back to him.
"Ooohh make a girl feel guilty," she gasped and held the back of her palm up to her forehead. "Whatever will I do? I've upset the big bad wolf," she moaned and it was his turn to let out pent up laughter.
"You know, you're perfect too," he finally managed to get out as they caught their breath and settled down.
"I'm not perfect," she admitted softly and his ears twitched at the sudden change in her tone. He pulled her closer and pressed his lips into the side of her head before taking her hand in his other one on their laps.
"You are for me," he said as he began to rub up and down her sleeved upper arm. He felt her mood lighten back up at his words and was a little more than relieved as she took a deep breath. "Anyway, dealing with class any better lately?"
"Ehhhh," she sighed shakily and waved her hand at him. "Maybe a little. Getting back into the swing of it but it still sucks. Sooo boring," she groaned and leaned into her partner harder. "Especially when you're not around to distract me," she nudged her elbow gently into his abdomen.
"Well I'm flattered," he laughed, "but that's sort of the opposite of how that's supposed to work."
"Yeah well," she shrugged her shoulders against his chest. "Are you complaining?"
"No, never," he said lightly and kisses the crown of her head. "Liv helping you study?"
"Yeah, of course, she wouldn't let me do anything less than perfect if I wanted her to," Ambur rolled her eyes and let began to twirl her fingers around his. "It's just really nice to be back…"
"Oh yeah? Not sick of me yet?" He teased before he watched her lift his hand to her lips and press them into the back of his palm.
"Never," she whispered into his skin and the sensation made the hair on his arms stand on end. "Not on your life."
/
"Blu-SIR," the older man corrected himself and Blake's toes curled in her shoes at the sudden shift of volume and tone in his voice. "What uh...what can I do for you?"
"Nothing Junior," Yang waved him off. "Just on a date," she nodded her head toward her partner and Blake couldn't help the blush that spread over her cheeks. "And don't worrryyyyy," she stressed. "I won't break anything, unless, your goons start something that is," she smiled brightly and Blake thought she actually saw the man cringe and his eye twitch. He shook his head and straightened out his bright red tie and Blake saw him give a sort of signal with his fingers.
Blake gazed around the balcony that rimmed the entire room and saw several men in black suits lower weapons that she hadn't even seen on their way in. She must have been more distracted than she thought. Letting her guard down like that could lead to a serious disaster, especially with Yang leading the way.
"Don't suppose I could get that in writing," the man called Junior remarked and actually smiled. To Blake's mild surprise Yang gave a genuine smile back before sticking her tongue out toward the man. The blonde grabbed for Blake's hand again and led her toward the dance floor before the man spoke one more time. "Yeaahhh I thought not."
"What was that about?" Blake asked as the pair waded through the crowds of people and out into the mix of the dance floor. There were lights everywhere and if Blake was being honest the flashes of neon colors weren't doing her senses any favors. Heightened sight and hearing were all fine and dandy when out on the hunt but they also could easily lead to episodes of sensory overload, especially in a place like this. Double that with the way Yang's fingers came to rest on her hips. The touching, the noise, the lights...Blake wasn't sure how long she'd be able to suck it up and deal tonight but she had to try. She'd promised Yang a dancing date and she would do her best to deliver.
No matter how much she didn't want to be in a crowd of people. Humans really.
She wasn't sure but she thought she might be the only faunus in the building right now. Faunus weren't all that common in Vale all things considered. It was the largest city in the kingdom but if you were to see say, Mistral, or even Mantle, you'd think that Vale was the backwater of the world. Not to mention the most human city in the world too. Blake had heard horror stories, most of which were confirmed by her Atlesian teammate, of how badly the Faunus were looked down on in Mantle and that there were almost none in Atlas itself.
Weiss hadn't really noticed her own views on the Faunus until Blake had pointed it out and she'd swiftly changed her tune but that was just one person. Sure it was one person she needed to get along with on a daily basis, but that was one small drop in a very large bucket. The people here didn't seem...overly racist but there was no denying that the population of Vale was vastly human. At least she had her bow on tonight and if she could just focus on Yang and drown the music out, no one would find out she wasn't just like them.
So long as she could just keep her eyes leveled at her partner she'd be fine. Ignore the flashing lights both above and below, the loud thumping of some of the worst loud and fast remixes of slow and gentle songs she'd ever heard in her life, and try not to think too much about the way her girlfriend's fingers were glued to her waist. All of it. None of it needed to tip her over the edge if she could keep her eyes on Yang.
Her golden orbs found themselves glued to her partner's chest for more than a comfortable amount of heartbeats before she shook her head. Just enough to shake the thoughts away, hopefully not so much that she looked like a weirdo but then, no one in the crowd was really looking at her anyway. Their eyes were all on their partner's or, as Blake was sure was the point of all this, on Yang. That was how it felt on most of their dates anyway. She didn't hate it, it was just...strange.
Trying to get inside Yang's headspace was probably the hardest thing Blake had tasked herself with in a very long time. She could understand Ruby's innocence to a certain degree. She was young and hopeful and hadn't had many experiences in life thus far. She was so young when her mother died that she probably couldn't remember much of her.
Weiss had been a challenge, and while Blake knew her point of view was skewed by being walled up in the clouds in Atlas, that very fact made her harsh attitude...almost excusable. Not quite but still, she'd changed a lot since her time in Vale began and apologized for a lot of things she'd said and done since they'd met.
Yang was much more difficult to read.
There was pain there. Twice abandoned, one by choice and one not, measurable pain but only when they were alone. She never showed any form of weakness in front of Ruby and as such Blake had begun to formulate the idea that Ruby probably didn't really know Yang. She knew the other side of her sister. The strong and cocky and party-loving girl that masked all her pain with a smile as bright as the sun.
Blake had tried to chip into those flashes of Yang that were less than happy as gently as she could but she hadn't been able to dig out anything meaningful. It was all dodged questions and changed subjects. Clearly, she didn't want to talk about it. Blake's toes curled at the idea of reinforcing stereotypes but curiosity and cats were pretty much inseparable.
Blake's mind almost settled for a moment as her thoughts took up her focus but as they began to fade and become wisps of thought, the loud bass of the music rumbled in her ears and shot sparks down her spine. It made the hairs on her ears stand on end beneath the bow and made her sick.
"I don't know if I can do this," she breathed and snapped her eyes shut. The lights were just too much. Trying to concentrate on Yang was all well and good but she could see the flashes out of the corners of her eyes still.
"Hmm?" Yang hummed loudly and returned her eyes to her partner. They'd been skimming the room to check on the goons' positions and also trying to locate the twins she'd fought with the last time she was in Juniors club. "You okay Blake?" Yang asked and she stopped dancing.
Blake pressed her fingers into her temples and began to rub them for a moment before she looked back up into her partner's Violet orbs. "I need a breather," she said as loud as her pained voice would let her and Yang nodded.
"Okay I'll take you out-" she began but Blake cut her off.
"It's okay," she straightened up. "If you wanna keep dancing you can, I'll just go to the bathroom for a minute."
Yang had opened her mouth to say something more but Blake was already moving. She turned around and headed for the far wall, under the overhang of the balcony and into the women's restroom.
In the large Matte black and red mixed room, Blake found her way to a stall and set the lid down before sitting and pressed her face into her hands. Her fingers returned to her temples and she tried to focus on the now, non-flashing, floor. The music was at least muffled in the bathroom but she could still feel the massive bass hits vibrating through the floor beneath her. This sucked. She hated this about herself. Not that she was a Faunus, she was proud of that particular fact. Just that she couldn't go out on a normal date with her girlfriend. That she couldn't just suck it up and let Yang be happy.
They were just so different. If you looked at them side by side, anyone would guess that Blake was the one with the trauma issues. And sure, she had some. Adam had really messed her mind up over the years and groomed her to be what he wanted her to be but...she'd wanted that too. She was too young to understand that that's what he was doing. Putting ideas in her head. But she'd been free from him for over a year now and even looking back on those years with him, he'd never touched her in a way she didn't want him too.
Grooming or not, she had wanted him to want her from the start.
The real issue that came with leaving with Adam was that she was sure she'd ruined her relationship with her parents for good. She hadn't been home in years since she was barely even a teenager. She didn't like to think about it but if she did for too long she always came up with the same conclusion. That they would hate her. They'd slam the door and leave her on the steps like they hadn't even seen her there.
She was the easy one to figure out. She'd never dressed in bright colors in her life but her wardrobe and demeanor had gone darker over the last few years, it was undeniable. Anyone that saw the pair of them would say she was the hurt one and Yang was the one trying to help her through it.
In reality, though, neither of them was really helping the other much at all. Especially not Blake. Yang didn't seem to want help. She might not even realize that she needed it in the first place. Yang was the one with real trauma. Decisions that were made without her consent had led her to lose not just one mother, but two. Sure she was pretty young when Raven left, but that wasn't the kind of trauma that got better by not knowing the person that abandoned you. The fact remained that you were born into that person's life and they chose to leave you behind, cognitive or not.
Then when you threw Qrow coming home to tell her that Summer had died on their mission into the mix, well, you'd be broken too.
Blake stood and gave her head one final shake before she opened the stall door and headed back toward the main hall. She took one glance in the mirror behind her, took in a deep breath, and straightened out her bow before she reached for the door handle. The music assaulted her almost immediately and she exhaled the long breath slowly.
"You can do this."