Love To Hate You
"You would be here...wouldn't you," she sighed. The tall, white haired woman rested her gloved hand on her hip and rolled her eyes. Over the dull roar of crowds at tables she doubted the bird brained man could even hear her.
This wasn't the first time that Winter had found Qrow drowning in some dive bar and unfortunately, with the way she was feeling right now...she doubted it would be the last.
It made her feel utterly disgusting...looking for the older man like this. Seeking him out made her skin crawl and her mind constantly fought with her to go somewhere….anywhere else but to find Qrow.
Of all people...why did it have to be Qrow Branwen.
She could see him sitting at the bar, red cape drooping down almost to the floor as he leaned forward. Her frosty eyes settled on his shoulders for just a moment too long. She could see the lines of the muscles in his arms through his tight sleeves and after a moment she had to shake her head to tear her eyes away from them.
She strode toward the bar, heels clacking loudly along the old floor boards of the establishment. She could feel eyes on her and she hated the way it made her squirm. She didn't belong here. She stood out, didn't match the scenery like everybody else in the building did. Everyone else looked as grungy as the old crow or, in most cases, even worse.
Why did it have to be him. She could have a disgusting and unfounded attraction to anybody on Remnant, but for some reason beyond her, it had to be Qrow. Her mind hated him but her body? She loathed to think that it could never get enough of the wasted old man. Well he wasn't that old, she would tell herself over and over. Too old for her, sure, but no truly old man could look that goo-
Winter shook her head and cleared her throat as she stopped behind him. Qrow' s head perked up a little at the noise before he sat up straight and slammed what was left of the whiskey in his glass.
"Come to criticize my way of life some more, Ice Queen?"
Winter shuddered at his mildly slurred words. Even when drunk Qrow impressed her, if that was even the right word. That was the part of secretly liking him that she thought she may appreciate the most. He never assumed she had sought him out to get him alone. He always kept up appearances. He always went out of his way to make the common masses believe that they were nothing more than hated colleagues. Not even once had he assumed that she had found him for anything more than an argument.
"Come on, you've had enough," she said coldly and stared at the back of his head, annoyed that he hadn't turned around yet. Instead he tapped the bar beside him.
"I'd say you haven't had enough," she could almost hear the smirk in his voice alone. Winter shook with something close to anger but she knew all too well that it was more than that. After a moment's delay she gave in and sat down beside him at the bar.
"What'll it be miss?" The barkeep started but stopped himself when Winter's icy gaze fixed on him.
"Water," she said flatly and held up two fingers, "one for him as well."
"Make mine a coffee," Qrow huffed, "sounds like I'm gonna need it."
"What makes you say that?" Winter shot him a glance as the barkeep set to work.
"We'll surely you're here to wrench me away on some fool's errand for your boss," Qrow rolled his eyes.
Winter bit into her lower lips so hard she thought she tasted blood. Don't take the bait, don't start an argument for your own sake. She recited the words in her head several times and watched as Qrow looked her up and down in silence. Finally she managed a simple, "no," to answer his question.
"No?" Qrow raised a dark eyebrow and met her icy eyes with his soft pink ones.
"I am here on," she paused and cleared her throat before speaking low, and looking away from him. "Personal business."
Qrow's features twisted in confusion. He hadn't heard her properly, surely. The fact was that Qrow was here, in this bar, to drown his sorrows in a glass and yes, perhaps even a lovely woman if he managed to land one for the night. That was always the goal, to force himself to forget for a little while, but if he were hearing Winter right, than that would mean that…
"You," he started and lost his words for a moment. Qrow shook his head and rubbed his eyes out. "Are you screwing with me? That's not like you," he began to laugh at the realization that it had to be Winter's first and only joke he'd ever heard. "Didn't know you could tell jokes, Ice Queen, very nice," he laughed all the way up until his glass was at his lips again.
Qrow watched Winter through the corner of his eye as she drew in a long breath through her nose and clenched her fingers right in annoyance. "I wasn't—joking," she emphasized and returned her vision to him. "I don't—joke."
Qrow set his glass down after nearly spitting its contents up and stared back at Winter for a long moment before she watched a sly smile creep across his lips. That smirk alone was enough to make her wish she regretted coming here, but sadly, it didn't. It only made her feel more disgusting and desperate.
The barkeep came around with the glass of water and coffee, and rather than grabbing his own drink, Qrow reached and took the glass of water and chugged the entire thing in one go before standing from his stool. He reached into his pocket for his wallet and handed the man his card and the barkeep quickly disappeared to charge it.
"That was for me," Winter growled and Qrow laughed.
"Sorry, not gonna sit here and wait for this to cool off," he chuckled out before leaning down and letting his face hover only inches from hers. Winter didn't move but her pale cheeks lit up red and she felt her stomach drop as his tone shifted. "Apparently I've got places to be."
Almost before he knew it, Qrow's back was shoved against the wooden wall of the hotel room, the wind nearly knocked out of his lungs from the surprise. She was on him in an instant, their lips mashed together and her fingers working at the buttons of his shirt. Between forceful kisses he managed to get out "jeez slow down Ice Queen, you can't be that cold."
"Don't talk," she pleaded desperately into his lips. "I don't want to speak to you."
"Clearly," he grunted out a laugh and let her guide him to the bed as she kicked the door shut behind them. "You expect me to just let you have your way with me and not have any fun with it?" He smirked up at her as she began to work her way out of her own clothes.
"I'm not here to enjoy myself, I'm here to get you out of my head!" She nearly spat the words down at him as he sat back on the mattress.
"Uhhh, don't get me wrong Ice Que-"
"My name is Winter!" She barked at him and watched him actually flinch slightly before nodding.
"Fine, Winter, don't see how getting in bed with me is going to get me out of your head. If anything it's going to get me deeper into you than out."
Winter paused and clenched her fists from a moment over the last button on her uniform and bit her lip. She knew he was right. Somewhere deep down she knew that this wasn't going to help at all but she didn't care. It didn't matter. She'd already dragged him here and she wasn't about to let the idea go that easily. She had to try. Had to try and get it over with. To see him in the heat of action and find herself disgusted at the sight and feeling of it. Enough so that she would never look at him with lust in her heart again. It had to be awful. This needed to suck, and it needed to suck really bad if it was going to work.
Winter pulled the last button on her uniform free and the fabric slid down her chest, passed her hips and pooled on the floor at her feet. Qrow's lips parted for a moment and she found herself disgusted again at her own desire to see his jaw drop, and her disappointment that it hadn't.
She supposed that was fair though, after all, this wasn't the first time he'd seen her naked. The first time had been months ago, and they had both been drunk.
Winter had seldom partaken in drinking in her life after seeing what it had done to her family, but she had let Qrow of all people convince her to give it a try at least once. The night had flown by in a blur after that and she had woken up in A hotel room just like this with a note from Qrow on the bedside table in the morning. After that she'd sworn off drinking forever, and yet, here she was making the same mistake while sober. Maybe there really was something about Qrow that she didn't hate, or maybe, and more worryingly, maybe she was just that desperate to be insulted.
Winter shook her head and watched Qrow reach out for her. He spread his legs and she stepped between them, his hands on her thighs as he began pressing kissing to her abdomen and hips. Winter's mood shifted quickly, from angry and pent up to simply longing. It had been so long since she'd been touched like this, or been exposed like this to anyone. Winter Schnee was not one to let others into her life at all, nevermind her bed room.
"Just tell me you won't tell anybody," was all she finally managed to gasp out as Qrow lay her down on the bed and began to remove his own clothes.
"I didn't last time, what makes you think I would this time?"
"Say the words Qrow, please."
Qrow drew in a long breath and let his shirt drop to the floor with a sigh. "Of course I won't tell anyone."
By the time morning had come Winter was up and gone. Qrow was so drunk that he hadn't had time to skip out on her first, and Winter had walked out of the motel in the early morning light with her skin crawling. She was disgusted with herself that she could let this happen a second time. She remembered the way the older man's hands felt on her skin and it made her want to jump right out of it. Her anger though was not caused by what she'd done.
She'd planned that. Planned for it to be awful. Planned to make Qrow do all the work and planned to hate every second of it.
She was angry because that hadn't worked out in the slightest. The same as the first time she'd lay with him she found that she hadn't hated it at all. Why was he so easy to like? How could the worst man she'd met, second only to her father of course, be so easy to sleep with. She supposed that was just part of Qrow's charm but why did it work on her of all people so well?
Winter wasn't some innocent woman with stars in her eyes, who partied for fun. No one had ever in her life come even remotely close to getting her to go on a date with them or anywhere near the places she'd gone with Qrow Branwen.
Now she'd made it worse. Now the fear within her was growing at the possibility that she didn't just find him physically attractive. That was easy enough to admit. He was good looking after all, there was no debate to be had about that. He was over ten years older than she was and it didn't hurt to admit that she appreciated the way older men looked. That didn't mean that she wanted to sleep with all of them. What if it was more than that though? What if in some sick and twisted kind of way, she actually felt an emotional attachment to Qrow? What if she liked him, not just the way he looked.
The thought of it mixed with the cool morning air made her shiver. The city of Vale was cloaked in an early morning fog and there were nearly no people out and about yet at this hour. Street lamps burned dimly through the mist as Winter stuck to the sidewalks, headed back toward the transfer station.
Not having the capacity to be late for anything usually meant that she needed to be excessively early wherever she was meant to be. Besides, the faster she got up to Beacon Academy to collect her sister the faster she would have a distraction from the growing worry in her chest.
Winter had agreed to have breakfast with Weiss this morning so they could spend some "quality time" as Weiss had put it. Winter had never been much good at this, but still Weiss had insisted and, deep down, Winter knew she would enjoy it, even if she couldn't properly express that she had afterward.
Once on a shuttle up to the school Winter did her best to relax into the bench seat. The shuttle was empty and she had no one to keep up her air of confidence for. No crowd to impress, no commoners to besmirch her family name in front of. It was extremely rare for Winter to ever find herself truly on her own, despite how hard she tried to be. Being in the military and working in a unit, or under a senior officer rarely gave her time to herself. In these rare moments she felt she could finally breathe, let her mind focus and almost relax.
Weiss' match with team FNKI would be this afternoon. That was something she could focus on, though it did make her nervous.
She believed her sister could win, obviously. Weiss was her sister after all. If one were to ask Winter what student had the most potential at Beacon her immediate reaction would be to say Weiss' name. She knew of course that her sister had a long way to go but the fact remained that she was a Schnee. She had to be the best. She needed it.
Winter had been a little more than startled to find out that Ozpin had named Ruby the leader of her team but she'd tried her best to shrug it off. Perhaps being a follower rather than a leader was for the best. Weiss could learn to take orders better and act less entitled. Just because they were entitled didn't mean they needed to strut around acting like it all the time, and Weiss had never learned that lesson at home.
Ruby's choice to send that Blonde hot head to the second round with Weiss worried her though. Weiss had written her letters and while she hadn't responded much, Winter had at least read them all. Ruby was a cluts and childish, Blake was nimble and precise and reserved, and Yang was loud and without fear. Too confident for Winter's liking.
Winter almost hated the idea that she'd have preferred Blake to advance with Weiss instead. Weiss hadn't told her that their dark and brooding teammate had been a criminal before her time at beacon, not to mention a Faunus, but upon seeing her for the first time the previous day it was immediately obvious, and Winter found herself wondering how everyone at the school could be so oblivious. How could one little black bow really fool them all for so long.
Anyway, the fact remained that Blake and Weiss, despite their differences, made a better pairing in Winter's head. They were both used to working with precision, subtlety, and relying on others to fill in the gaps of their own talents.
Yang, from the letters Weiss had sent her, had always seemed like the type to want to do things alone. Like she wanted the spotlight on her and no one else. Sure, this could be a misjudgment, but Winter was rarely wrong about these things. Her temper could cost them a match, and even worse than that, Ruby's attachment to her sister could send Yang to the finals to represent their team, rather than Weiss. Sure, her semblance was incredibly powerful, and she could tank damage better than perhaps any other combatant in the tournament, but that could easily make her overconfident and prone to making mistakes.
Then the other side of the argument would spill up into Winter's mind again. Yang did fill in Weiss' gaps in talent extremely well. Blake and Weiss preferred to fight much the same way, it's true, but that left them both open to the same weaknesses. Neither of them could recover from a heavy hit if they failed to dodge. Neither of them were much good with close quarters either. Yang filled those gaps perfectly.
Winter had thought about it a dozen times over the past twenty four hours and she still couldn't tell if she thought Ruby was playing favorites or if she was secretly brilliant.
In the end the choice would have been hard for anyone to make, and the fact that the little Rose had made one at all was at least something Winter could respect. Indecision isn't becoming of a leader. Making a difficult choice and being wrong is better than making no choice at all.
Winter knew that one of these days she would have to make a difficult choice of her own concerning Ruby's uncle. She just hoped that she would have the strength to make that choice, no matter what it would be, instead of running away from it.