Author's note: Hi lovelies so, i thought i would be done with this work in 5 parts however it looks more that it's going to have 8 parts due to these last parts becoming so long. If you have enjoyed so far let me know in the comments! Song choice for this chapter was 'the worst person alive G flip' (you can find it on spotify) i really felt like this song encapsulated this chapter and Naruto as he deals with his guilt over what has happened to Sasuke.

Chapter. 5 The worst person alive

~During~

"Turn around." Sasuke said his voice hard. "I want you on your knees."

Carefully, Naruto knelt down and leaned over the table. He braced his hands on the tables edges. Then panic shot through him, and he turned to look at Sasuke.

"The communicators."

"Hmm." Sasuke assented and his hands began to work open his belt, undeterred.

"We're wearing mics, and cameras you realize?" Naruto's stomach flipped when Sasuke gripped him by the back of his hair and leaned over him. His excitement was pressed into his backside, and Naruto didn't know which of them started it but suddenly they were grinding against each other. Slow, and desperate.

They had been out on this mission for 2 weeks, and this was the first opportunity they had to be alone in days. Naruto had taken note of Sasuke's eyes on him all day as they were staked out across the street from the brothel. Naruto had also taken note of the lingering touches they shared when passing equipment or shuffling passed one another. They were both in dire need of some ass.

After Innan died Kakashi decided that Lee, and Shikamaru wouldn't get a replacement. Instead he wanted team 7 and Lee and Shikamaru to work as a squad of 5 when extra help was needed out on a mission.

Konoha had been receiving reports on Ninjas going missing in a brothel for weeks, and so they'd all been deployed by Kakashi to investigate.

"Someone will see this when we turn our gear in after the mission." Naruto pointed out as he tried to ignore Sasuke tugging his pants down. He wasn't being rough but he clearly wasn't in the mood to take it slow.

"Let them watch." Sasuke purred into his ear, and Naruto caved. Every last bit of his valiant effort not to have Sasuke screwing him filmed was gone, kicked off into the dust just like their pants.

They didn't have much time, they couldn't undress all the way. Any minute Shikamaru was going to give the signal and Sasuke would have to leave the little shop they were doing surveillance from, and enter the brothel to pose as some sleazy customer.

"Yeah?" Naruto turned his head back around and locked his eyes onto his hands holding onto the table. Sasuke liked control and Naruto was happy to give it to him. It felt good when Sasuke fucked him, because Naruto didn't have to think, he didn't have to be in charge of anything. Sasuke did it all for him. A younger version of Naruto might have blushed at the prospect of giving himself over to Sasuke so easily. Of being the bottom. But the current Naruto wasn't ashamed, instead he was grateful to Sasuke. "Let me hear you say that again after Kakashi watches it." Naruto knew other people probably had access to the footage the communicators caught, but for certain Kakashi had it.

"Old pervert might just learn something new." Sasuke said as his warm palm slid down Naruto's back and cupped an ass cheek. Naruto moaned and pressed into the touch. He spread Naruto open, and Naruto held his breath in anticipation. "Old dog new tricks- all that." Sasuke groaned as he palmed himself and lined up to Naruto's entrance.

"Oh, Fuck. Sas-" Naruto spread his feet further apart, offering himself up to Sasuke like a feast. It was always so dirty, but somehow intimate with Sasuke. Sasuke with his beautiful face, and proper manners. It did something to Naruto when Sasuke had him over a table or spread open on the bed, saying the filthiest of thoughts right into his ear. It was such a raw feeling being under someone who knew you as well as you knew yourself. It was a vulnerability but a strength at the same time. When Sasuke fucked him all Naruto's worries melted away, and all that was left was a longing desire to make him feel good in return. They were equals. Light and dark. "Please." Naruto groaned low and needy, and he felt like he might die if Sasuke didn't shove into him soon.

The sound of a velcro pocket opening was heard, Sasuke pulled something out. There was a squelching sound as Naruto guessed Sasuke lubed himself up. Then he was pressing in impossibly closer. The head slid in and Naruto shuddered and went entirely slack. His muscles burned and stretched as Sasuke's cock went further and deeper. Sasuke kissed his temple.

"Still with me, deadlast?" Sasuke's breath fanned across his neck from behind and he stilled his movement for just a moment.

"I'm fine. Don't stop."

Naruto's gear made a scrapping sound against the table as Sasuke started to rock into him more forcefully. His fingers curled around Naruto's hips and dug in harshly as his rhythm got faster. Fuck Sasuke felt good. Naruto gripped tighter onto the table because he didn't know what else to do with his hands.

"Fuck." Sasuke grunted out driving into him.

Naruto arched up to look at Sasuke. His mouth was half open, as he was caught up in the pleasure he found between Naruto's legs. His cheeks were flushed, and his necklace clung to the sheer film of sweat gathered on his chest. Naruto pulled a hand around to grab at the necklace, he pulled Sasuke down to him and kissed him. Hot, and wet, and fierce. Then Sasuke's hand slid down to Naruto's cock, and he tugged gently and then harder. He jerked him in time to his own thrusts.

"I love you." He cried into the back of Naruto's head. "Naruto." It was sound of his own name coming out of Sasuke's mouth that had him coming onto the table. Sasuke's movements got faster and jerkier then Naruto felt him spending himself into him.

Sasuke kissed the nape of his neck lightly. Sasuke wiped his sticky hand across Naruto's back, and stepped back. Naruto heard the tinkling of his belt buckle as it was being refastened. Naruto was still a puddle of warm goo, unable to move off the table.

"I wish we had more time." Naruto pouted still face down on the table after Sasuke had set himself to rights. Naruto liked it when Sasuke would hold him after.

Sasuke slapped his ass. "Me to." Then he started pulling Naruto's pants back up.

"Hey-" Naruto protested. He didn't want an ass full of come while they were working.

Sasuke pulled Naruto's pants all the way back up and already had them half buckled when he said, "I like it when you don't clean up after. I like knowing my comes dripping out of you." He said it so heated, and passionately Naruto couldn't do a thing but to blush. He turned Naruto around to face him. Naruto palmed the medallion, and Sasuke kissed him. "You're mine, and i am yours." Sasuke mumbled, and then the communicators went off.

"Sasuke. You're up." Shikamaru's voice came from both communicators strapped to their chests.

Sasuke finished buckling Naruto's pants and then responded. "Heading out in 5."

"Here we go." Sasuke said his attention now on the brothel they could see through the window across the street.

Naruto felt like his foot was stuffed in his mouth. All of a sudden in that moment watching Sasuke as he readied for work made Naruto know something he wanted but hadn't realized. Sasuke's eyes were bright and eager as the scanned the street, and right before he could pull the door open and step out Naruto blurted out arguably the second most insane sentence he had ever put together.

"Move in with me."

Sasuke stilled and whirled around quickly, his face surprised. "Move in with-"

"Me." Naruto said emphatically. "Move in with me."

When Sasuke still hadn't responded Naruto began a monologue. "We're always together now. When we're not on missions, we're always at mine or yours but we're together and it just makes sense to me. Instead of lugging bags of clothes back and fourth and never knowing how long i'll be at your house, and trying to figure out when to buy groceries. We'll save money on rent and-" Sasuke had walked back across the shop to put one finger across Naruto's lips.

"I'd love to deadlast." Naruto grinned like an idiot, and kissed him.

"I'll do the shopping and-" Naruto spoke and Sasuke put his finger back up to his lips. The communicator started to beep again.

"Sasuke- Sakura is in place- move in- repeat- move in-." Shikamaru's voice commanded.

"We can figure that all out later, okay?" Sasuke made to turn and leave.

Naruto didn't tell him to be careful, or to call for help if he needed it. Naruto knew he could handle himself.

"Hurry back. Maybe i'll find some way to celebrate with you later." Naruto shrugged, and let the flirtatious meaning behind his words linger in the air.

Sasuke glanced back at him with piqued interest.

"In that case-" Sasuke smirked. "I'll see you in five."

Then Sasuke cast a transformation jutsu, and sauntered out of the shop with his hands deep in his pockets. Naruto watched the brothel door swing shut behind him. He had to breathe deeply several times as he remembered the mission Innan died on, and when Naruto had thought Sasuke was in the body bag. Naruto had been jumpy ever since. He felt an impending sense of doom every once in a while when they were out on missions, and Naruto had gotten pretty good at ignoring it. It never panned out after all. Sasuke was always fine. Naruto's nerves were just bad from the war probably.

Naruto reminded himself this current mission was almost over, and they'd be back in Konoha before the weekend. All Sasuke had to do was make contact with Sakura inside the brothel where she was already placed and then together they'd get the information the village needed. Were the ninjas that went missing even alive still? Naruto guessed probably not.

Naruto chatted back and fourth with Shikamaru on the comm to pass the time while they waited.

"Hey just curious-" Naruto started laughing nervously. "you don't happen to know who it is that reviews team 7's communicator footage do you?"

Naruto already had half a plan formed the second he decided to have sex with Sasuke while on duty. He wasn't nearly as cavalier as Sasuke. If Kakashi or anyone else saw it Naruto might actually die of embarrassment. He would need to figure out who it was in charge of team 7's footage and then he could break into their office and destroy all the evidence. No one ever needed to know.

"That would be me." Shikamaru admitted warily. "Why?" His voice suddenly suspicious.

Well that made this easier, Naruto thought. Now he didn't even have to break into anyone's office.

"You probably should just torch the footage on this one."

There was a good 2 minutes of utter silence on the line.

"I don't even want to know why but i appreciate the heads up. Will do."

Naruto laughed.

Naruto kept his eyes on the brothel, and watched as 2 shady guys turned up pacing in front of the establishment.

"Shika-" Naruto flicked his comm on, his voice cautious and warning.

"I see them." Shikamaru answered. "Don't make a move, i'm sending Lee in."

Naruto couldn't kick this newest impending sense of doom. He was feeling to jumpy watching those 2 guys standing there, like they were waiting for something.

Lee came onto the scene wearing a long dark cloak, and a straw hat to hide his face. Naruto could see one guy say something to Lee, and he saw a split second of horror cross Lee's face.

"Shika-" Naruto said into his comm. "Something's not right."

"I'm getting a bad feeling myself but don't make any sudden-"

Before Shikamaru could get another word out Lee was rushing across the street to the shop Naruto was hiding in. The 2 men in front of the brothel watched him go.

"Lee, what the-" Naruto asked as Lee shot through the door not even bothering to close it behind him. Then he was jumping across the room shoving Naruto to the ground.

Naruto grappled with him, cursing and kicking at him. Shikamaru's voice on both their comms came in demanding to know what was going on.

"Stay down! Stay down! They're going to blow it!" Lee was screaming.

Then Naruto heard the blast of the brothel as it exploded across the street. The shop windows shattered. The tremors of the blast shook the ground and knocked the table over, and all Naruto could do was scream for Sasuke.

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~After~

The sound of a light flicking on echoed in Kakashi's office. The sound did not disturb Naruto in the least, he barely even noticed it in fact.

He turned to leave but then Shikamaru heard the soft words coming out of the computer. He whipped around.

"Naruto what the hell?" Shikamaru laughed at first. "You scared me man."

When Naruto didn't respond Shikamaru tried again. He walked across the room and waved a hand in front of Naruto's face jokingly. "Earth to Naruto." He frowned at him, and went around Kakashi's desk to see what it was that had Naruto's full attention.

Shikamaru nearly shit a brick.

"She lied." Naruto's voice was small and scratchy from having used it the entire night. Since he found the Dvd Naruto had spent the night reciting it line by line as he and Sasuke spoke on the footage from their comms. "Sakura lied to me again." He replayed it so many times he lost count entirely. "She said this footage had been destroyed."

"You weren't supposed to see this, Naruto. She was doing you a kindness-"

Lies! Lies! Lies! It was the second time Sakura kept the truth from him.

"She said Sasuke didn't feel anything when he died!" Naruto slammed his hands on Kakashi's keyboard, and Shikamaru went entirely still and quiet.

Naruto replayed the footage.

"Jesus Christ have you been watching this the entire night?!" Shikamaru asked in horror. "Naruto you can't- please just let me-"

Naruto shoved him away from the desk with one hand, and it was forceful enough Shikamaru's back smacked into the window.

They stared at each other Shikaamru in shock and Naruto in distaste. Why was it the people he loved the most couldn't just be honest with him. When Shikamaru left the room Naruto played the footage again.

A little while later there were voices coming down the hallway. "He's in there torturing himself, he has been all night I didn't know what to do."

"You did the right thing." Kakashi Hatake commended Shikamaru. "Sakura with me."

Then Kakashi was sweeping into his office with Sakura at his heels looking anywhere but at Naruto.

Naruto clicked the pause button on the computer. Then he laced both hands together and laid them on the desk. He cracked his neck. "So." He stared at all that was left of team 7. The manipulator and his dutiful toady. "Sasuke didn't feel any pain? When he died?" Naruto stood up from Kakashi's seat slowly. "It happened so fast he didn't feel anything." Naruto's voice was icy and deadly. "That's what you told me Sak."

Kakashi was watching them both worriedly but he was allowing their confrontation.

"Naruto i'm sorry i-"

"If he didn't feel anything why did he scream?!" Naruto demanded of her and walked so he could point his finger right in her face.

"Naruto i-"

"Why did he scream?" Naruto's voice got more demanding, and meaner. "If it didn't hurt him why did he scream?" Naruto clutched at the medallion around his throat, that had been Sasuke's not that long ago.

Sasuke never screamed.

"WHY DID HE SCREAM!" He screeched in her face until the blood drained from her cheeks.

The part from the footage came back to Naruto as he stood there yelling at Sakura. The part when Sasuke screamed in terror at the very last split second of the DVD when the explosion of the tower killed him.

Sasuke never screamed.

Naruto had seen him beaten, and whipped, his fingers broken, and watched as his fingernails had been peeled off on more than one occasion, and never during any of it had Sasuke made so much as a single sound of discomfort.

That's how Naruto knew the truth. In that split second it took Sasuke to scream, he had known it was all over. Sasuke knew he was about to die and the lights were going to go out forever. It must have hurt like a bitch. Dying. Of course he had fucking screamed. Who wouldn't have?

Since he had died Naruto couldn't seem to stop screaming. Truly he and Sasuke couldn't have been more opposite people.

The sound of plastic being snapped made Naruto jerk his head up.

"I'm sorry." Was all Kakashi offered to him as the pieces of the DVD in his hand fell to his desk.

"No!" Naruto shrieked at his teammate's. "What have you done?"

"We didn't tell you about the footage because we were afraid you might do something like this." Kakashi answered. "You've tortured yourself with it for an entire night. Isn't that enough, Naruto?"

No. Naruto thought. No. It wasn't nearly enough. Naruto thought he was the worst person alive. Why was he alive, and Sasuke dead? How was it fair that he was still walking around without him? It was all Naruto's fault. He left the comm on the table. He didn't warn Sasuke in time. He deserved to suffer so much more.

"I'm done." Naruto pinched the bridge at his nose, and threw his hands up dramatically. A distant part of him recognized that he was hysterical by that point. "I'm done here." Naruto nodded.

"Wait- hold on- Na-"

"I'm leaving." Kakashi grabbed him by the shoulder.

"You're letting your emotions cloud your judgment just hang on for a second."

Naruto shirked out of his hold. "I've been hanging around for to long as it is. I can't be here anymore. I can't go home to the place we lived together, and I can't live in this God forsaken village we grew up in for one more second." Naruto carefully walked passed Kakashi. "If i do i'll just end up killing myself after all."

"I won't sanction this. You'll be deserting." Kakashi threatened. "There won't be a shot in hell of you becoming the Hokage if you change your mind, later."

Good. Naruto wanted to say. He should have let his dream of being Hokage stay dead like it was after the war. It had only come back to life on account of Sasuke coming back into his life. Sasuke used to talk about Kakashi and his pillars of the village in reverence, he used to talk about how the Hokage should be someone who didn't want to be the Hokage. Sasuke talked about Naruto being the Hokage as if it was already set in stone. Naruto could never imagine taking on the role of the village leader without Sasuke by his side, not before the war not after it, and definitely not after Sasuke died.

Sakura gasped, and then she was on him. She flung herself around his middle trying to use her body weight to hold him in place. He was stronger though. He unlatched each one of her hands one by one as she screamed out for Shikamaru on the other side of the door.

"He's leaving!" Sakura sobbed to Shikamaru desperately like there was anything he could do to stop it from happening. "He's trying to leave! Please Naruto don't. Don't leave me." Shikamaru pulled her back from trying to grab at Naruto any further. Kakashi had his head in his hands sitting at his desk chair. "You're not supposed to leave, Sasuke was the one who always left, not you!" She was clutching at Shikamaru like the last raft on a sinking ship. "You can't leave- last time when you stopped talking to me- we can go back to that? Please just as long as you're in the village and i know you're safe and alive- please I don't think i can bare it if you go to."

Naruto pitied Sakura even more than himself in that moment.

Naruto kissed her cheek, told Shikamaru to take care of her, and then he was gone.

He left Konoha without so much as stopping by his house for clothes. He decided traveling really might be nice. Sasuke always talked of his time traveling fondly.

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To be continued...