Author's note: Hello there lovelies. Wanted to float an idea out there, would anyone be interested in the content prior to the start of chapter 1? I had some ideas for the events during the war, and i've never written a prequel but it greatly intrigues me to think on the before events. We could see Naruto's progression in a different light from his younger perspective. Plus we can see Naruto and Sasuke interact all during the war, instead of that single moment there at the end when Sasuke left again. Let me know in the comments what you think. Song i listened to was Sunshine by the All American Rejects. How are we by the way? You guys good?... Well here's another sad pile of words for you.

Xoxo

Catstclaire

Chapter. 7 There are good things after

~During~

The healers were all very assuring that Sasuke would be fine in a couple weeks. Still, Naruto worried desperately as he watched Sasuke struggle to pick up his hoodie from the ground where it had fallen. Still Naruto watched every movement Sasuke made like a hawk for any sign something was still wrong. Stable. They kept saying Sasuke was stable. But what did it mean? How permanent was stable?

Sakura, Lee, and Shikamaru had already made way back to the village.

Even once they made it to Konoha Sasuke would have to take it easy for another few weeks there. Easier said than done, Naruto wanted to tell them. Naruto had already trashed Sasuke's smokes but if he didn't keep a constant watch Sasuke was liable to charm one of the nurses into getting him some new ones.

"Watch it." Naruto cautioned as Sasuke's hand slipped against the rail he was bracing on and the hoodie fell out of his palm.

Sasuke glared at him as Naruto bent effortlessly to pick it up. "I'm not paralyzed."

"Let's keep it that way then." Naruto pushed him lightly back into his bed, and pulled the covers over him tight. "You have to rest."

"I don't want another Doctor." Sasuke snapped.

Naruto fretted and stilled his hand from checking Sasuke's IV for the 10th time that hour. "Then what do you want?"

"Your company. Just sit down and stop fussing over me. It's fucking annoying." Sasuke scowled.

Naruto perched on the edge of the bed his eyes roving over the monitor that showed Sasuke's steady heart beat. Sasuke intwined their fingers.

"I've wanted to talk to you for awhile."

"We talk all the time."

"No i mean like talk-talk. Serious things."

Oh. Naruto had the sudden urge to jump out the window.

"About what exactly?" He forced his voice to sound casual like he did when he asked for another bowl of ramen.

"Alot, actually." Sasuke scooted in the bed to sitting up. He had marks where stitches had been across his face and the back of his head, and his arm was still wrapped tightly from where it had been shattered in 3 places. "We've not talked about some important things i feel like perhaps we should have by now."

Naruto threw a hand behind his head and scratched at his hair. "Spit it out, already." Naruto sighed. "Whatever it is you want to talk about it just spit it out."

Sasuke was silent for a minute gathering his thoughts.

"The stuff Lee said back at-"

"Ugh," Naruto groaned despite himself. "i'd rather talk about anything else."

Lee. The war. Hinata. Those topics Naruto had actually made a point to avoid when he could.

Sasuke pinched the bridge of his nose with his good hand. "So what now Lee's the new Sakura?"

"Yeah, pretty much." Naruto confirmed.

"Naruto- you can't do that!" Sasuke implored and tossed his same hand into the air. "It isn't healthy."

"Healthy, what's that?" Naruto asked trying to turn the whole thing into a big joke.

Sasuke glared again. "No. I won't let you do this to yourself again." Sasuke shook his head. "Not this time around, not while i'm around."

"That's funny for you to say."

"What's that supposed to mean."

"I can't smoke but you can. I can't cut people off, but you can ditch the entire village. Do as i say, not as i do. Is that right Sasuke?"

"Motherfu-" A string of expletives tumbled out of Sasuke's mouth.

Naruto didn't respond he just fixed his eyes on the wall behind Sasuke's head.

"No more drinking."

"Hah." Naruto barked out a laugh. "Still pretty rich coming from you."

"Fine then."

"What?"

"I'll quit drinking. It's done. No more drinking for me or for you." Sasuke said. "I make unhealthy choices to, and i'm willing to make a change if you are."

Naruto gaped at him.

"It isn't that simple." How would Naruto make due when his grief and PTSD were threatening to catch up to him?

"Yes." Sasuke grabbed his chin between 2 fingers and forced him to look at him. "It is."

Naruto shook his head.

"You don't need the alcohol, you don't have to lean on it anymore. I'm here. Lean on me."

Naruto closed his eyes mulling over what he said. "But-" a very dark and scared part of Naruto spoke up. "what if you leave again?"

"Are you..." Sasuke looked shocked. "You're serious?" He stroked Naruto's jawline. "I promised we'd move in together didn't i?"

"So?" Naruto protested. "You could still decide to leave me." Then where would Naruto be without his go to coping skills: Isolation and drinking.

"No I couldn't. I couldn't leave you again. I love you Naruto."

There it was again. The opportunity to put to bed the thing that Naruto had wondered for years about. If they were really going to air it all out, than Naruto decided he should be as thorough as possible.

"Then why did you leave me that first time, when we were genin? Why did you leave me the second time after the war?" Naruto demanded. Sasuke was always leaving him. Every couple years it felt like. "You only ever came back now to make fucking Jonin."

"The first time i left, you know why." Naruto did. Sasuke wanted Itachi dead.

"You could've taken me with you."

"No I couldn't." Sasuke rubbed his hair fondly. "You know I couldn't." Naruto knew it was true. Back then Naruto wanted to be the Hokage, and how could he have done that as a rogue Nin.

"The second time when i left you-"

"In the dirt- the second the war was over." Naruto said icily, and pulled out from Sasuke's reach. Sasuke winced.

"Wow. This is hard."

"You wanted to do this." Naruto reminded him. "I was perfectly fine avoiding several of the issues between us."

"Well i'm not. I want more from you." Sasuke admitted. "And I can't have that until we set some things straight." Sasuke nodded. "-Back to what i was saying. The second time when i left, i would love to have some grandiose reason like revenge to blame but I don't have one. The simple truth is, i was scared."

Sasuke shrugged at the look of bewilderment on Naruto's face. "I'm not unbreakable. I know you've always thought that, but i'm human. Okay? I was terrified after i killed the guy that took Kurama. I didn't know what the village would do with me. If they would lock me up or execute me-"

"I would have never let that happen. I would have fought anyone who was against you!" Naruto demanded be known.

Sasuke smiled weakly. "You think I don't know that? Of course i know that. That just added to my fear. If i did go back and then you went about on an escapade of defending me to the entire village, how might that have effected your bid for Hokage?"

Understanding washed over Naruto. "You left me there because you were afraid you'd ruin my shot at Hokage?" Naruto's voice sounded on the edge of hysterics. The irony of that was bitter. Sasuke left him to preserve his shot at leading the village but Naruto's desire to lead the village was already drying up and dying by that point.

"It's a shit excuse." Sasuke said.

"But you- you hated me back then why would you care if i ever became Hokage?"

"I never hated you, deadlast. I actually even liked you enough to try to keep you at a distance- for your own good." Sasuke looked out the hospital room window as a flock of birds flew.

"Why did you come back to make Jonin?"

"Itachi's dream."

Naruto nodded. He knew all about Itachi. Not that Sasuke ever told him. It was Kakashi that filled him in about the tragedy that was Itachi Uchiha's life. How he killed the clan in order to spare Sasuke. How his only true desire in life was for Konoha to flourish, and remain strong.

Naruto nodded. Allright that issue was settled. Sasuke left those times before, but he wasn't leaving again.

"What else?" Naruto asked. This conversation was going to hit all the sore spots so they'd never have to do it again. "I'll stop drinking." He didn't need it if he had Sasuke.

"I wanna talk about after the war when i left and-" Sasuke looked like he was sucking on something sour. "The scarf and Hinata."

"Okay." Naruto said slowly as warning bells went off in his head. "Lee is such an asshole. He should've kept his mouth shut about all of that." It was none of his business.

"I have some questions." Sasuke said eyeing Naruto with the apprehension one might a rabid animal.

"Let's hear them." Naruto twisted his hands in front of him not sure what to do with them. "I'll tell you whatever you want." Because Naruto wanted what Sasuke said he wanted. More.

"Hinata- she helped you after the war?" Sasuke said and added. "She made you scarves."

"Yeah." Sure you could call fucking on an almost daily basis 'help'.

"Was it just the sex?" Sasuke frowned annoyance all over his face. "Or were you...in love with her," He mumbled the last bit. "and her silly little scarves?" Sasuke's cheeks were red.

"So you don't like my scarf anymore." Naruto commented. Sasuke was glaring furiously in it's direction every other moment.

"Not since i found it was hers."

"Really?"

"I've been fantasizing about torching it." He admitted.

Naruto didn't know quite what to do with that. So he fell back onto what he always did where Sasuke was concerned. He poked the bear. "Never thought i'd see the day. Sasuke Uchiha jealous of someone." It was written all over his face, Sasuke was jealous of the brief affair Hinata shared with Naruto post war. For the life of him Naruto didn't know why.

Sasuke waited with a perplexed expression on his face like he was trying his best to read Naruto's mind. "You're always wearing the scarf she made you so i thought that maybe-"

"It was just sex." Naruto answered. "I care about her alot though. She's important to me. She sends a letter every few months. Are you asking me to like not talk to her?"

Sasuke shook his head. Naruto relaxed. He didn't know what he would have said if Sasuke told him to cut all contact off with her. "No i would never ask that of you." Sasuke pulled his blanket a little higher. "I'm not going to deny being jealous. It's petty of me and I don't care. But i'm also-just as grateful to her as I am jealous of her. She did something for you that i can never pay her back for."

They both of course knew Sasuke was referencing what Lee told him. That if it weren't for Hinata likely Naruto might have killed himself.

Their eyes met, and another issue between them was slowly falling away. The knots being were loosened with each word spoken.

"That's something you've put behind you right?" The actual question being you don't want to die anymore right?

"Yes. I'm not in the same frame of mind as i was after the war. Lee was right it was pretty bad but right now I can't imagine having gone through with it. I would have missed out on alot. I never would have made peace with Sakura. I never would have seen you back in Konoha." Naruto slid his hand back into Sasuke's. "I never would have loved you." To Naruto that would have been the greatest tragedy to have never realized what it was that he had felt for Sasuke all these years. That there was a chance Naruto might have killed himself before he ever found out what it was like to share Sasuke's bed or hold his medallion in the palm of his hand. No life was so precious, how could Naruto have failed to see that before?

"One more question." Naruto rolled his eyes.

"Go on."

Sasuke laughed "So Lee actually tried to have sex with you?"

Naruto laughed then. "I don't even know what to say about that, what the hell was he even thinking?" Naruto asked.

"I know." Sasuke said smirking at him. "You know though, when you aren't getting on my last God forsaken nerve you are actually insanely attractive." Sasuke looked him all over with a microscopic scrutiny. "It's the eyes or the hair i-"

Naruto swatted him with a pillow. "Shut up."

"Take the compliment deadlast." Sasuke tugged his hand until Naruto was laid against his chest with the blanket between them. "I can't blame Lee at all for shooting his shot." Sasuke playfully grabbed his butt.

"Lee can eat a big bag of dicks."

"I'm not the guys biggest fan. I kind of wished i gave him a busted head to go with his fat lip back at the restaurant. But it isn't Lee's fault you know? He didn't tell those guys to blow up the brothel, and kill all those people. He made the right call. It was the same call i would have made if i'd been in his place."

"He left you and Sakura hanging out to dry."

"He had to. He saved the only person he thought he could in that moment. He's better than me because I might have let 20 brothels blow up just to save your ass, and i never would have lost sleep over it. I have a feeling Lee's beating himself up more right now than i ever could."

Naruto grumbled. "Whatever." He was just glad they had finally aired all the issues between them out, Naruto had to admit it felt better. He felt like now they could have the promised 'More.'

"Come on where's that Konoha 12 forever spirit?" Sasuke nuzzled into his hair. "I'm not giving up on this. You and Lee will make peace even if it kills me to do it."

Naruto felt uneasy by that last statement for some reason.

"Why are you pushing Lee so hard?"

"It's not obvious? Lee's one of your pillars."

"What?"

"For when you become the Hokage."

Naruto blinked at him. "How hard did you hit your head?" He asked suddenly worried Sasuke's memory was jacked.

"My heads fine. Haven't you ever thought passed the robes and the stupid hat?"

"Not for a long while." Naruto said. "Stopped thinking about it when i decided not to be Hokage anymore."

"You know what my brother always used to tell me about the Hokage?" Naruto shook his head. "The person who ends up the Hokage is never the person who wants to be the Hokage. Sometimes the best person for the job is the one who doesn't want it."

"That's," Naruto was going to go with dumb, but quite felt Sasuke wouldn't appreciate Itachi slander. "weird." He settled on. "What did you mean pillars and the Hokage?"

"Did you ever notice what Kakashi did with us? With team 7?" Naruto was still lost. "Do you think it's by coincidence Sakura and i ended up where we have. Sakura at the hospital, me in the Jonnin ranks. That's 2 pillars, and i would give every last cent to my name on Kakashi still having you down for his replacement when he retires." Sasuke smiled to himself. "He did it beautifully. I wouldn't call it manipulation but like he's a master strategist maybe? The way he orchestrated us into these roles he hand picked for us." Sasuke sounded in awe.

Naruto flicked his forehead. "I'm not going to be Hokage."

"Yes. You will. You're Kakashi's 3rd pillar don't you see? He needed one of us in the hospital, one of us on the front line, and one of us to take over for him. I wonder how long he's planned this all. Possibly the first day we all met him. He's definitely been grooming you for it since we were 12. I heard you say Hokage at least a 1000 times the first week our team was formed." Sasuke mused.

"I told him no. He's probably got another apprentice lined up for Hokage by now."

"I wouldn't be so sure. Deadlast." Then Sasuke kissed his temple and their talk ended.

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~After~

The land of tea sucked. It was a bummer- it blew... Naruto couldn't figure out why that was when he first got there. Since he left Konoha he had been looking the most forward to seeing the land of tea. Sasuke had enjoyed the place. By all accounts Naruto should have been able to. It had all assortments of teas, there were ramen stands on almost every corner. The scenery was breath taking. The people were even nice, and yet Naruto only stayed one day in the land of tea. He couldn't bare to stay any longer than that.

When he left Hinata's Naruto had practically ran the entire way to the land of tea with excitement, he had built the place up in his mind for years. From the way Sasuke talked about it, it was heaven on Earth.

It wasn't until he left the land of tea behind him that Naruto finally gathered what he had so disliked about it.

It wasn't that Naruto had expected Sasuke's ghost to pop up out of no where- but Naruto had thought that for some reason if he would ever feel close to Sasuke again it would be in the land of tea. And when he didn't feel anything, the disappointment was soul crushing.

Naruto cooled his heels for a few days in a town with hot springs. The heat felt good on his joints, and it helped Naruto to focus his thoughts.

What was he even doing?

He had seen just about everything there was to see. He had explored an assortment of places around the world in the last year, was this what he would do forever?

Wander from one place to the next constantly searching every place he went for Sasuke?

That was a harsh truth Naruto realized. He had gone on this journey in an effort to be closer to Sasuke- but also a part of him that refused to heal or accept Sasuke's death would scan the crowds the second he stepped foot into a new town. Looking for Sasuke. That's what this trip had really been.

His rational mind knew. He knew Sasuke died. But there was never a body, and that was hard to accept without actually seeing him dead. Delusional? Sure. Naruto knew it wasn't healthy, to silently believe Sasuke was out there in the world. Safe even in the land of tea. He had been lying to himself all these months, he had allowed himself to convince himself Sasuke would be there in some way or another, just waiting for him in the land of tea.

Naruto sat in the water until his fingers were pruned.

By the time Naruto pulled himself out of the water, he knew exactly what it was that he was supposed to do from here.

Sasuke had been the drifter, the one that wandered the world. That wasn't Naruto. Naruto loved Konoha. He missed home. Without Sasuke to chase after there just wasn't a thrill to traveling the world anymore. If he couldn't have Sasuke, he could at least have Konoha.

Bad things had happened to Naruto in Konoha, but so many more wonderful things happened to him there as well. He met Sasuke there, and he loved him until he died, he'd love him for the rest of his own life even.

Naruto headed for home.

...

Sakura nearly broke Naruto in half hugging him, when he showed up on her doorstep.

"Sak- you're um- crushing me." He grunted out, as Shikamaru laughed from behind her.

Then Naruto was being shoved into their living room, and a tiny blue bundle was gently laid in his hands.

"Meet your Godson." Naruto had only missed his birth by about a week. "His name...is Sasuke."

Maybe there were some good things about the month of October after all.

Tiny chubby fingers wrapped around Naruto's hand, and a deep emotion overcame him. Baby Sasuke was only a week old, and could do barely more than drool but Naruto loved him already.

Naruto thought he would never love again when Sasuke died. Naruto didn't think he was capable of love anymore.

He was glad to find that wasn't the case.

...

"How have you been?" Kakashi asked.

Naruto had paid his sensei a visit at his home rather than interrupting his work day.

"Good. Lately i really have been good." Naruto smiled because it was true.

Naruto had been doing very well since he had come home. He stayed with Sakura and Shikamaru partly because he wanted to avoid his apartment but also because he missed them both so much. During the day Naruto got to pal around with Sakura and the baby since she was on leave from the hospital after having the baby. They would take him for walks in the park together, cook lunch, and read him ridiculous fairytale stories from the shelf in his nursery. There was alot of laughter, and Naruto finally understood what Hinata was telling him when he saw her last.

"There are good things after, i swear, if you'll only let them happen."

Naruto had forgotten even the sunshine for a time- Sasuke's death eclipsed it, Naruto welcomed the warmth back.

In the evenings when he came home Shikamaru would offer Naruto a spar. They would work out until Sakura had dinner ready.

It was domestic, and a lifestyle Naruto could easily let himself envy.

But this lifestyle wasn't for him in the same way traveling hadn't been.

Naruto believed he probably had always known what the lifestyle was that he was meant for, hell he had told every person he ever met growing up he would be the Hokage some day. Deep down Naruto knew he was meant for the life of a shinobi. It was always there in him, the desire to protect and serve his village, it just got buried under so much other crap it was hard for Naruto to make out anymore.

Under the war, and the grief, and the death Naruto Uzumaki was a patriot.

He wished he could go back in time to before he screwed it all up. How had he thrown his dream away not once, but twice?

Naruto didn't think he would ever forgive himself for that it burned almost as bad as his throat when he craved alcohol.

"Glad to hear it." Kakashi said. "Sometimes Pakkun would come back to me with his reports on you and I couldn't help but to worry about you out there." He sighed. "Almost left my post several times to seek you out."

Naruto ran his hand over the top of his head thoughtfully. "Yeah sorry about that, i'm not me when i drink- it was rough for most of it. I'm sober now."

His visit with Hinata ensured that.

"That's good. You look good."

It was awkward for a few seconds. Then Naruto couldn't help but to think about it.

"Have you named your successor?"

Naruto spent many nights on his travels wondering who it was that Kakashi would pick to replace him. Who it was that Naruto would have to call the 7th Hokage.

"I have."

Naruto nodded bravely.

"Who is it?"

Kakashi ran his eyes up and down Naruto suggestively.

Naruto fumbled over his words. "But you said- i left- i deserted the village..."

"Whatever do you mean?" Kakashi was grinning behind his mask Naruto could tell. "The entire council knows you took a sabbatical. All in the name of training for your position as Hokage of course. All the reports i have from Pakkun prove that. The Hokage should be well traveled, and you are now." Kakashi winked conspiratorially.

Kakashi told him to report come Monday morning to continue his training in the village.

Naruto did.

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To be continued...