The boy from one dies before he can even pull back his spear. My arrow pierces him in the neck, and I load the next one, ready to shoot at anyone else who's here. "Are there more?" I repeat over and over.
It takes her saying no several times before I hear it. She's rolled over onto her side, her tiny body curved around the massive spear. I shove the boy away from her, pulling out my knife to cut her free, getting a closer look at the way the spear is firmly embedded into her stomach. I'm panicked, racking my brain for any way I can help, but I know the injury is beyond anyone's ability to heal. There's no point in comforting her, in telling her she'll be alright. I think that's clear to both of us. I crouch beside her, feeling utterly helpless.
"Did you blow up the food?" She whispers, her eyes are starting to turn glassy.
"Every last bit," I assure her, trying to smile through my tears. "Your plan worked, El. It worked. You did so good."
"You have to win," El says.
"I'm going to," I promise. "I'm going to win for the both of us now." There's a cannon that's gone off, and it must be for the boy in district one.
"Don't go." El tightens her grip on my hand.
"Of course not. Staying right here." I move in closer to her and gently pull her head onto my lap, brushing her dark, thick hair behind her ear. There's a rustling to my right, but it's not an intruder. It's Hudson, but El has all her attention focused on me and doesn't notice him. He keeps his distance, watching us with sad eyes, knowing there's nothing left to do but let me comfort her.
"Sing," she says, but her voice is so weak, I barely catch the word.
Sing? I only really knew the few songs I sang for Dani that my mom and Papa taught me. Most of them were too dark, hinting at the history of our district, but there was one that always put a smile on my little sister's face. And if this was Dani's, I mean El's, last request, who was I to deny her?
My throat is tight from inhaling so much smoke over the last few days and from exhaustion. I'm sure my voice will be hoarse, but it will have to do. Hopefully, these words will bring her a little peace in her last moments.
I lightly clear my throat, open my mouth, and sing:
Deep in the meadow, under the willow
A bed of grass, a soft green pillow
Lay down your head and close your sleepy eyes
And when again they open, the sun will rise.
El's eyes have now fluttered shut, her chest barely moving. I choke out a sob as tears slide down my cheeks, wetting her face. I'm shaking so much but I have to finish the song for her.
Here's it's safe, here it's warm
Here the daisies guard you from every harm
Here dreams are sweet and tomorrow bring them true
Here is the place where I love you.
The final lines are barely audible and I know anyone watching will struggle to pick them up but it wasn't meant for them. It was El and El alone.
As the last note echoes through the forest, everything is still and quiet. Then, all at once, the mockingjays take up my song.
For a moment, I can't move, the tears in a steady stream down my face. El's cannon fires and I lean forward and press lips against her temple. "Sweet dreams," I whisper, and gently move her head back onto the ground and release her hand.
I'll have to clear out soon. The gamemakers will send a hovercraft soon to retrieve the bodies. I cut El's pack from her pack and collected the boy from one's pack as well.
All the while, I can't stop looking at El. She looks smaller than before, like a baby bird curled up in it's nest. I can't leave her like this, looking so defenseless, vulnerable, alone. And I can't bring myself to hate the boy from one the way I want to, it seems misplaced. After all, wasn't he just playing the game the way he was supposed to? The way he's always been told to? It's the Capitol I hate, for bringing us all to this.
I remember Hudson's ramblings about the Capitol. Was he right all along? I'm starting to think he wasn't just saying things. Then, I remember Sawyer's words back on the roof. About how he wishes he could show the Capitol that they don't own us. That we're more than just a part of their game for their entertainment. And for the first time, I think I understand what he meant.
I want to do something, right here, right now. I have to do something, to show them that they haven't won, not completely. That no matter what they do to us, what they force us to do to each other, there is a part of every tribute they can't own. That El was a person and they can't just turn her into just a pawn in their games.
Just a few steps away is a bank of wildflowers. I make a beeline for the bank, and yank out handfuls, bringing them back over to El's figure.
"Willow?" Hudson asks, concerned. I'm sure he thinks I've lost my mind. I think I finally have.
"Shut up. If you're not going to help, leave," I tell him. I'm starting to feel angry and sad and he's getting the brunt of it, but I'm on a mission and I don't have the energy to care.
Slowly, one flower at a time, I decorate her body, weaving the bright colors in her hair, wreathing her face. Hudson silently walks over with his own bunch, covering her wound, he then retreats back by the tree, leaving me to have a few moments alone.
I clean the blood the best I can, and she almost looks like she could be sleeping in the meadow after all. The Capitol will have to show this, or even if they try to turn the cameras away, the audience will certainly get a glimpse when they show her body being collected, and they'll know I did it. I step back and take one last look at my little ally who deserved more than what she got.
"By El," I say, pressing the three middle fingers of my left hand to my lips and holding them out in her direction. Then I walk straight past Hudson without looking back. I don't think I could bear watching as they lift her body out of the arena.
"We can't let them get away with this. We can't let them win," Hudson says after about ten minutes of us walking in silence. I can tell something has shifted in him. I know he was find of El too.
"Who? The careers?" He doesn't answer me. "I already got who did it." Then, I turn to him. "But I think I know what you mean now. About what you were saying before."
I feel lonely now, without the small girl with me. Hudson was an ally, someone I might be able to trust in here, but El was someone I truly cared about, someone who I trusted with my whole being.
Something silver slips through the trees, falling towards us. It's another parachute, and I automatically assume it must be for Hudson. Maybe one of his sponsors sent him something to cheer him up. That seems like something they would do.
Hudson seems to think it's his too, until he opens the capsule and quickly shuts it, handing it to me. "It's meant for you."
I frown, wondering what in the world it could be. I didn't think I needed anything right now, but did Haymitch think differently? Only I immediately know it's not from him.
It's a single loaf of bread, with seeds sprinkling the top. My dad taught me all of the different types of bread they made in the different districts depending on the resources that were abundant to them. This came from District 11. El's district.
We were getting a lot closer to the final eight and they must have raised the money to be able to send her this. I wondered how many people went without for the day, or possibly even a few days, to scrounge up a coin to donate to be able to get this to her. They must have asked Haymitch if they could send it to me instead when she died. I'm surprised the gamemakers allowed the change. Maybe they wanted to thank me for taking care of her, or maybe they just don't want a debt unpaid. I know I wouldn't.
Still, I hold the loaf out for the cameras to clearly see and tilt my head up towards the sky. "Thank you to the people of District 11." The uproar this must cause. No district has ever sent a gift to another district's tribute. A first in the games.
Holding this piece of her home makes me feel closer to El somehow. She was good and had so much hope despite what everyone else had been telling her. Maybe it was better this way. If she had won, the Capitol would have destroyed her anyway. And now that she was gone, it felt like my hope was fading too, but this, my promise to her, reignites it.
I split the loaf with Hudson and neither of us are up for much talking as I hunt and he gathers. We sit across from each other as I cook my catches before the sun starts to go down. Hudson still seems to be deep in thought but I leave him be, not willing to push him.
"Why did you do it?" He finally asks when I hand him a piece of the groosling.
I know exactly what he's talking about. The flowers for El. I think back to what he told me before the games and I give him the only answer I can.
"She gave me hope." Hope that our lives weren't completely over the second our names were called. Hope that even when we're pitted against one another we could still see each other for what we were. Scared kids who just wanted to survive. She gave me hope that they haven't taken everything, with her smiles and her teasing, and even in her last moments, instead of feeling defeated, she just asked to be comforted by the thing she loved most. She didn't die becoming what they wanted her to become. Hope that maybe I could still hold onto that part of myself too.
"Don't they feel even an ounce of shame watching what they've done?" Hudson's eyes are so piercingly green as he looks up at me. "How would they feel if it was their own kids?"
"Hudson!" I chastise, certain they've censored his statement.
"What? It's true," he stands, his eyes alight with anger. He holds his arms out and I fear recent events have sent him over the edge. I'm afraid he'll say something that will anger them. He has a good amount of fans who love him and he still has a real chance of winning just on his popularity alone.
"Hudson, stop!" I yank him down and he drops to his knees, head in his hands. "You don't want to do this."
"Would serve them right," he mumbles. I hand him the bottle of water, thinking he might just be dehydrated.
"Maybe," I chuckle. "But it wouldn't do you any good. Can't disappoint the ladies," I try to joke.
He lifts his head and his smile is weak, but it's there. "Right. What would they do without me?" I hate how forced his words sound, but at least he hasn't given up.
We put out the fire before it gets too dark, and I wrap up the rest of our meat. We need to find somewhere safe for the night, and I'm hoping we'll have enough time to find a tree Hudson might actually have a shot at climbing.
The sound of a cannon stops us in our tracks. I quickly draw my bow and survey our surroundings. "Do you think it was the careers?"
Hudson shrugs, opening his mouth to say something but pauses. He furrows his brows, tuning his head to the left. My hearing still isn't the best so I'm concentrating to see if I can get any sense of what he hears, but I can't pick anything up.
"What's wrong?" I ask but he holds his hand up for me to be quiet. I huff in frustration, wanting some kind of explanation but I never get the chance to ask.
Hudson's eyes go wide and he spins on his foot, gathering his machete and throwing our supplies at me. "Run!" He grabs my arm, dragging me faster than my own legs will carry me.
"What's wrong?" I ask again, trying to get my bearings. I loop our packs and my quiver over my shoulders, matching his pace the best I can.
"Mutts," Hudson says, not breaking his stride for a second.
I hear a low growl from a distance and I know what he's talking about now. The gamemakers must have sent them. I trip over a branch and Hudson stops just long enough to lift me up and force me to keep going. The sounds are getting louder and I know they're gaining on us.
"Hudson, we can't outrun them!" I shout, watching my step as we weave through the trees. I see the first of the mutts leap out from the bushes behind us. They look like deformed humans, with tight scaly skin, and bright yellow eyes. They run on all fours towards us, screeching, showing off their pointy teeth. I load up my bow and shoot at the closest one, piercing it right through the skull. It falls to the ground but it doesn't deter any of the other mutts. "We have to climb! There's too many of them." I pull Hudson towards the nearest climbable tree, ready to give him a boost up.
Instead of coming towards me, he pulls out his machete, whacking the head off of a mutt that had launched itself towards me. I help him the best I can, but the number of mutts seems to keep growing. For a moment, I think we've held off all of them until I pick up on more getting closer through the trees.
"Come on," I try to get Hudson to climb the tree but he just shakes his head. The mutts are only a few seconds away so we need to get up there now.
"Here," he grasps my hand in his and yanks me to him whispering in my ear "Give this to her for me. Tell her I love her." He drops something into my jacket pocket so the camera can't see. "Give my thanks to my cousin, will you?" He winks, but I can see the fear in his eyes.
I don't know what he's on about until he pretty much picks me up and tosses me on the lower branch. "Climb!"
"Hudson, don't be stupid! I'm not leaving you." The notion that he would consider sacrificing his life for mine was absolutely ridiculous. Nobody does that in the games. Especially not someone with a real chance like him.
"You have to," he insists, pushing me up against the trunk, frantic. "It's bigger than just you and me. One of us has to win."
The mutts are too close for him to even try climbing now, and six of them attack him at once, as he does his best to defend himself, expertly maiming the mutts, and I think he's going to win against them, until a another wave of mutts appear from thin air on the other side and attack him from behind, consuming him in a pile of scaly limbs. He screams in agony but I can't see him anymore under the mutts.
"No!" I shoot arrow after arrow trying to get them off of him, but it's too late. I shut my eyes, trying to drown his screams the best I can until they eventually just stop. I think I'm going to have to defend myself next, but as soon as the cannon goes off, it's like they suddenly lose all interest and they stop growling. I peer down, watching them retreat back into the trees like nothing ever happened.
"Hudson?" The body on the ground is unmoving, covered in blood. His clothing is ripped and he's almost unrecognizable. I'm unable to move from my spot, both for fear of the mutts returning and because if I move, it feels more real. I want to look away, but I can't. I'm so angry. At the Capitol. At the mutts. At him. Why would he do something so stupid! As if saving me is some kind of heroic act.
But then I remember his words. How he cursed the Capitol just moments before, how he kept hinting at something much bigger. After all, that was one of the last things he said to me. If that was true then he didn't sacrifice himself for me. Not really. But I still feel like I'm missing something.
If anything, I have to win now, even if it's only to repay my debt to him in some way. But I can't find the motivation right now. My hand hits something cold in my pocket. It's whatever Hudson slipped in before he pushed me up this tree. I don't want to pull it out. It was obviously his token, something private to him. I think it's a ring, with some kind of stone in the center. It must have been for Sera.
I watch over his body until the hovercraft comes to collect it and then everything is eerily calm. I find myself surprised to be missing his camaraderie. He kept things light, and now I was really starting to feel the weight of the games heavily. As soon as the hovercraft flies away, the anthem plays and the picture of the boy from nine and Hudson are projected. The boy must have also been attacked by the mutts. There's only six of us left. I wonder how Sawyer was getting on. Was he taking part in killing the other tributes? Or was he just trying to survive? Maybe I should try to seek him out. I didn't feel confident enough going after the careers again, and I knew I was still a target for them.
The next morning, I still hadn't made up my mind. I spend a couple of hours hunting and cooking some more meat, filling up my water supply, and retrieving my arrows, or at least whatever I could find of them. There weren't too many left, with some being carried away by the mutts and I never got the chance to retrieve the one I left in the boy from one before he was carried off. It hits me that he was my first kill. At least, directly, if I don't count the tracker jackers. And he hadn't really crossed my mind until now. I didn't like that feeling at all.
It takes much more effort than I expect to find the motivation to do anything. I keep having to remind myself that it's not for me. It's for El and for Hudson. It's for Dani and even for my grumpy mentor. I say one of their names, every time I don't want to eat, or drink water, or forage for food. I'm tempted to just light a fire and let the careers come for me, but I can't bring myself to do it.
It was then that the anthem started playing inside the arena. It was still light out, so I didn't think it was the death count, not to mention no cannons have gone off. I'm assuming it's an announcement for some kind of feast, which will occasionally happen in the games. When supplies and food are scarce, they'll invite the tributes at a feast at a place we can all get to, like the Cornucopia, tempting us with food as a way to gather and fight. But they won't trap me that way. I'm doing just fine and can't think of anything I need enough to risk my life.
A booming voice, I believe he was one of the announcers of the Hunger Games along with Remus, comes down from overhead, congratulating us for being in the final six. But his announcement is the last thing I could have expected. I'm confused by his announcement, something about a rule change. In all the years that I've been watching the Hunger Games, I've never heard of any sort of rule change mid-game. Not to mention, there aren't any rules within the games, except for the initial one where we can't step off our platforms and the unspoken rule about not eating the other tributes, but that hasn't really been an issue in previous years.
Under this new rule, both tributes from the same district will be declared winners if they are the last two alive. The voice pauses as if he knows it's a shock and we might not get it right away, and repeats it again.
The news sinks in. Two tributes can win this year. If they're both from the same district. Both can live. Both of us can win.
Before I can stop myself, I call out Sawyer's name.