"But we decided long ago
We'd build a time machine and go"
—"(Another) First Kiss" from Severe Tire Damage by They Might Be Giants
Dreams of falling are very common. Because of this, they have an almost de facto interpretation for anyone researching them (almost always after having just woken up from one). The common consensus is they represent the psyche coping with a perceived "lack of control" since, generally, it's pretty hard to control your descent when falling.
This makes enough sense for any bleary eyed sufferer to nod along and go right back to sleep. Unfortunately, it's not quite so simple. It's all in the context.
After all, a pidgey might be used to the sensation. Falling is an integral part to flying. It might enjoy the little experience for most of the dream's duration without even realizing they can't stop their descent until, well.
Their descent suddenly stops.
In this particular context, Max didn't much mind. She'd spent the previous painfully sleepless night agonizing over every mistake she'd ever made. Loss was familiar to her, but that didn't make it sting any less. Each one ripped a new part of her soul out. The only thought that brought her enough solace to finally fall asleep was the desperate, painful, hopeless wish that she could just go back to the beginning.
As she'd fallen asleep, she was so eager for some respite before the sun set that she failed to notice something akin to tendrils creeping out of her paws. They brought a warm embrace that she was too tired to question until it was too late. She'd fallen asleep and an oddly pleasant dream greeted her.
Wind rushed through her fur fast enough to batter her ears and tail into a hopeless loop of quivering shakes. They were at the mercy of aerodynamics, and so was she. It was fun, in an odd way. She spent most of her life barely over a foot above the ground, so the new vantage point was novel. Spreading her arms like wings, she felt the rush of sudden friction slow her descent.
Commonly known fact about dreams: they can't cause pain. An easy way to tell if you're dreaming is to pinch your arm. If you feel pain, it's not a dream.
Of course, there are other ways to induce pain in someone. One sure fire way to cause pain is, well, fire. Thanks to the drag she'd just added, a bit of atmosphere started to accumulate and ignite right under her. What started as a pleasant warmth quickly burst into an all consuming inferno.
The singes felt familiar in the way any experience that drew on lost memories did. She recognized the familiarity without any idea where it came from. It was an odd thing for a mouse to experience twice, atmospheric reentry.
That slight difference in experience gave her an edge up over the pidgey. She'd known she had no control over this descent from the beginning, allowing her the opportunity to scream in terror for about a second before her descent met its sudden end, and, presumably, she met hers.
Her immediate, terrified leap into the air was a bit odd. She babbled in pika-speak incoherent even to her. After she landed from her jump, she froze. That was a mighty fall. She needed to check for injuries. The good news was she was still standing. Her legs and back were fine. Good. She managed a slight breath of relief thanks to that, but she didn't stop there.
First, she counted her arms, relieved to find two, and with ten nubbins to boot. She brought both pristine paws up to feel for her ears and, again, found two. Neither hurt, but she pulled them down to check for sure. Both looked as pristine as her paws, not so much as a nick.
Her left ear was fine. It ended in the same point as it had when she'd… dropped in to this world. A pit in her stomach started to form as she finally started to remember how falling from the sky felt so familiar. She glanced around her to see a painfully familiar field around her calling at her from the void of lost memory, all the way down to the lake in front of her.
She couldn't bring herself to look into the lake's reflection for the same reason she couldn't bring herself to look behind her. She knew what she would see—what she didn't want to see. She clenched her eyes closed and smacked her head with her paws.
"Wake up, wake up, wake… up," she started to chant, though her voice sounded off. The difference was subtle, and she couldn't quite put her paw on what it was. The first thought was it sounded younger, which made sense. Of course she'd sound younger if she was suddenly transported back in time (how that was the most logical conclusion at any point made her head hurt if she thought about it).
She wasn't waking up. When she hit her head, it hurt (despite the meteoric landing not doing much). She wasn't dreaming. She was stuck like this. Taking a deep breath in, she prepared herself. It was time to face the music.
With a practiced flick of her tail, she brought it in front with her eyes closed. It'd be easier to feel the end than see it, so she hesitantly grabbed it with her left while her right ran down the two lumps on its opposite end. Eyes closed, her brow furrowed in sudden consternation. That wasn't either of the two possibilities she'd considered. If anything, it felt like the tail of any other girl. Pikachu.
Her eyes shot open and confirmed that, not only did her tail end in a heart, but it even had a familiar little patch of black fur to highlight the shape.
It was a girl's tail. Her tail was a girl's tail. She had a girl's tail.
"No way," she breathlessly whispered. Even after checking so many times, she still felt the suspicion it was a dream. Her paws shot to her face to feel what else was different, but that was basically fruitless. Instead, she bolted over to the lake to look at her reflection. She rushed over so fast that she almost didn't stop before leaping right in.
Luckily, the added friction of the grass allowed her to stop right as the nubbins on her forepaws tapped the edge of the water. It barely distorted the image of her reflection, luckily. She looked down at almost the exact face she'd always had. Her same eyes, the brown spot under the left side of her lips. But it was just a bit softer, just a bit brighter, and with the widest smile she'd ever seen in her reflection.
It was still her.
The jubilee had one minor hiccup. Her stomach turned a bit when she realized she had one more thing to check. In the same way she couldn't bring herself to look at her tail a minute ago, she couldn't bring herself to look down. She felt a phantom ache at the loss she already knew she'd see.
But, she couldn't put it off forever. She stood up and, with the quickest of glances, confirmed exactly what she'd feared. "I-I-I," she stammered, but it wouldn't come out. It was already obvious, but how? She knew exactly where she was, exactly when she was—and she definitely hadn't crash landed like this the first time around. With breathless confusion and surprise, she finally managed to shout, "I-I'm a girl?!"
One second of thought might've had her reconsider the wording (she'd been a girl before, after all), but that second didn't come. Instead, a familiar voice asked, "Were you… not one before?"
Under any other circumstances, hearing that voice would make her jump for joy. She did end up jumping, but thanks to what she'd been inspecting moments ago, it was from sheer, nude horror. "Ithos!" she squeaked, trying in vain to cover herself with her paws. "Haven't you ever heard of privacy?!" Ithos flinched back, putting his arms up in defense, and it finally clicked for Max.
"ITHOS!" she screeched, dashing over and launching herself onto him. She latched on before he could resist, squeezing the familiar scales with tears already in her eyes. "Y-you—you're here, I'm-" She cut herself off, finally catching her slips. He had no idea what she was saying, latched onto him like this.
More came with that realization. This was her first day there. This was the day that they met. This was the first time they saw each other. Ithos had no idea who she was. She was just some pikachu that fell from the sky, screamed in surprise about being a girl, then leapt onto him.
"Jesus Christ, I'm so sorry!" Max sputtered, hopping off of him and backing away. "I just—I'm so sorry! You have no idea who I am, and I just-"
"Hold on," Ithos said. Max shook her head, sparks of embarrassment bouncing off her cheeks. What a ridiculous first impression, how could she—what would Ithos think of her now?! She kept backing away in humiliation and terror. "Hey, wait!" Ithos shouted, but Max shook her head. Worse, his yelling started tickling into her instincts, demanding she continue her retreat, even if she knew he was only trying to say it was okay.
At least, that's what she thought, but then, right as her hindpaw met air on one fateful step, he screamed, "LAKE!"
Right. The lake. It was right behind her, well.
Right below her, now.
The water engulfed Max before she had a chance to scream. She clutched her paws around her mouth in desperate horror, trying in vain to hold one last little pocket of air, but only getting water. Her limbs froze. She couldn't even flail. The only other person who knew she was in here was Ithos. A charmander. Even realizing she was about to die, she couldn't help an internal chuckle.
The trip down memory lane, straight to hell.
Then, something else crashed into the water. Her eyes were closed, but she couldn't believe the burning scales she felt wrap around her chest. She almost let her breath hitch, but the paws around her mouth stopped her just in time.
When Ithos tried to swim up, though, he wasn't exactly fast. In fact, he wasn't moving up at all. He was sinking. They both were, but not for lack of his trying. His hindpaws hopelessly flailed in the water in useless motions that did absolutely nothing but intermittently kick Max.
An almost audible shift clicked in Max's mind. Facing her death was upsetting, sure. It was terrifying to her, but not unthinkable. She knew life wasn't permanent.
Ithos was a different story.
In an instant, Max twirled around out of Ithos' grip to smack him across the face. It stopped his flailing while also spewing a few bubbles out of his mouth. Importantly, though, it seemed to calm him down (which might've been the sudden loss of air talking).
Max latched onto Ithos tighter than she had on land and starting violently kicking as fast as she could. It barely, slowly started changing their course, but it got them higher than Ithos had. With a grunt and more kicks, she even managed to get them to start ascending. Her lungs started to burn, but she kept on kicking with all her might, more oxygen than she had. She didn't have any other choice but to keep going.
Her swimming lessons with Cori payed off; water flung off their heads as she shoved both of their heads up and out. As much as it terrified her to try, she couldn't stop herself sucking in a gasp. Alive—she was alive. She was—she was swimming.
They weren't out of the fire yet, though. She had to pika-paddle over to the nearest edge, grabbed hold of it with one paw while the other flung Ithos out. Her adrenaline started to wane, so she scrambled to yank herself out of the water before it ran out. She flopped down in the grass about a yard from Ithos—okay, still strong, that's good.
A breeze froze the air on her fur; the fear caught up with her. She tried to reach for the scarf that wasn't there and let out a squeak of terror. Her hindpaws started to numb. Those breathless gasps couldn't bring air in, and she knew why.
Stone lungs can't breathe.
She froze in place, every inch of her growing colder. She didn't have her scarf. She couldn't stop it. She couldn't bear to try and move, couldn't bear to fail, to feel stone's non-response. The dripping of water down her fur froze her further. It was getting cold, so cold. Every bit of warmth fled her flesh as it turned to stone when suddenly, a very heavy, very hard bit of warmth smashed into her chest.
"D-don't—hold on!" Ithos screamed before smashing his paws into her chest again. If she had been stone, she no doubt would have shattered. He actually managed to yank her out of the panic attack, yet didn't stop slamming into her chest for even an instant.
The chest compressions were hopelessly erratic. If she'd actually needed CPR, he would've had better luck hitting her over the head with a baseball bat, but he kept smashing the air she would've used to tell him as much out of her chest.
Finally, he stopped for just an instant. Max started taking in a breath of relief when, all of a sudden, she felt something stopping her.
Warm scales. On her lips. Blowing air.
Again, she slapped her paw across his cheek, tossing him off her. While he rolled of her, she rolled over to heave whatever those compressions did to her out of her lungs. Oh God, her ribs—no, if they'd still been injured, Ithos absolutely would have killed her. Max rolled back to sit down just in time that she collapsed into a sitting position.
"S-sorry!" Ithos stammered. "I-I really—that wasn't what I was trying to do! I swear!"
Max looked up to see the saddest, most terrified look of humiliation she'd ever seen on someone else. Even while Ithos rubbed his reddening cheek, the entirety of his attention went to her and the other paw waving his surrender. He was so terrified of what she thought that he hadn't even noticed the lack of a flame at the end of his tail.
Max brought a paw to her mouth, eyes wide in disbelief. The absolute worst first impression she'd had to date—and that was saying something. She tried to use her paw to cover it, even calling in her other for backup, but that didn't work for long.
A mix of a giggle and a snort chuckled its way out of her while the laughter started creeping into the rest of her face, and she couldn't help it. She still couldn't believe who she was looking at. Who she was talking to. Who she'd just slapped—twice. Luckily, the water absolutely soaking her managed to hide the burgeoning wave of tears.
"Wh-what?" Ithos whimpered, which only made Max laugh harder.
"Y-you can't be serious!" Max cackled. "What—why would you dive into the water if you don't know how to swim?!" She lost herself to another fit of giggles while Ithos sat a few feet away, simmering.
That simmering quickly turned to whimpers, though. The instant the sound tickled her ears, Max choked down the rest of her laughter, praying she hadn't hurt him. When she looked at him again, his wide eyes were trained on his tail. "I-I… it. My."
Max almost thought this was a joke, but his expression was far too sincere for it to be one. He was serious. He actually thought he was in danger.
Max took a few breaths for herself to calm and said, "Look, you're okay." She scampered over to rest a paw on his shoulder—hot, he was hot—and she ripped it away before it caught fire, swearing, "Kachu!"
"Sorry!" Ithos yelped, yanking his tail into his arms. Max could see the water boiling off him, yet the charmander didn't seem to notice.
Max shook her head in disbelief. "Incredible," she said, barely holding back another chuckle. "Y-"
"Sorry," Ithos whimpered.
"Hey, hey! It's fine, don't worry!" Max said. She almost went in to hold him when she caught another glimpse of boiling water. "Here, let me see it." She held out her paw, gesturing to his tail.
At first, Ithos pulled it back. Then, his eyes met hers and registered her shift to soft warmth. One paw at a time, Ithos let go of his tail and let it wiggle over to her. In all honesty, Max didn't know what she was going to do to help, but she knew she could. She proceeded to follow her gut, motioning him to set it down on the ground.
"You're not gonna die," she reiterated. "It's just a myth. Tail flames go out all the time, all right?" She glanced up to his eyes, but he wasn't buying it. It was… honestly impressive that he'd fall for something like this. "If it happens, don't worry."
Max looked down at the tail, the tiniest hint of an ember of a memory starting to spark—right! "All you need," she whispered with a bit of glee while she leaned down right next to it, "is a spark!" She let loose a flashy little shock from her cheeks and watched as a billowing flame burst out from the end of his tail. Perhaps getting closer wasn't the best idea.
She leapt up, feral spewing out of her mouth while her paws rushed to her face to stamp out the flames. They didn't find much, though, only a few patches of slightly singed fur. When she realized she wasn't on fire, the laughs were quick to come. "Yeah, I shoulda thought that through better," she chuckled.
"P-pikachu?" Ithos asked. "Did, why do you keep doing that?"
"Ka?" Max asked, slapping her paw over her mouth when she heard herself. Right, of course that would stay. Entirely new body, entirely new everything, but no, she still has this bullshit stuck in her head. "Sorry," she said, careful with every syllable. She glanced around, eyes lingering on Ithos. Even after all this time, she was abysmal at hiding that she was hiding something. "Can you… keep a secret for me?"
Ithos looked her over again, starting to pull a bit of confidence back into himself before he said, "Sure." In fact, Max thought she could spot the beginnings of a smirk. "My name's Ithos, by the way."
Max didn't even notice her cheeks sparking, letting out a chuckle. "Right," she mumbled. She looked away, already fully aware how this was gonna go. Pretty much everyone who had a reaction to her name had the same one. "Mine's Max."
"Max?" Ithos asked with a smirk, like his suspicions had all been confirmed. Max couldn't help mouthing along when he said, "Odd name for a pika… chu." Shit. He'd noticed. Max almost panicked, but he seemed to shake it off quick. "Was that the secret you wanted to tell me?"
"Oh, right, well, no," Max muttered. "Or, yes? But, w-well, it's, there's another."
"What is that?" Ithos asked. "You keep talking like that. Why?" He narrowed his eyes to raise a brow at her. He didn't seem any bit concerned, just confused.
"Kachu," Max grumbled. Did she need to explain this? No, that was ridiculous. Ithos knew about Dungeon Sickness—everyone did. "It's just what it sounds like." She couldn't help a bit of sheepishness as she looked away, scratching at the back of her head. "Dungeon Sickness." Even if it was embarrassing, though, she knew she could trust Ithos.
He didn't immediately seem to respond, though, oddly enough. It must have been a lot to take in. He'd just seen her fall from the sky, and they'd both nearly died. That would make anyone need a minute.
Max took a deep breath and reset her head to neutral. It was more comfortable while also letting her see Ithos out of the corner of her eye. He might not know her very well, but she still wanted to make sure he was doing all right. Even with shoddy memory, she could still read him with ease. With just her peripheral vision, she saw him staring… maybe she wasn't as good at reading him as she thought.
She almost thought he was staring at her, but that was ridiculous. Ithos had never expressed any interest in her before. More feelings than she expected came out in a knot when she reaffirmed to herself that he was probably straight.
She froze. If she didn't move, she rationalized that the thoughts couldn't see her, or maybe that Ithos couldn't see her. He—she was a… more traditional girl, now. Even then, she shook the thought out of her head. Absolutely not. She'd never seen Ithos express interest in anyone, had she? Yet, when she inevitably took a glance to see his expression, she absolutely recognized it.
And he was absolutely looking at her.
It took a second for Ithos to notice she was looking at him. His eyes weren't exactly on her face. A few sparks bounced off Max's cheeks until Ithos finally met her eyes, and the scales on his cheeks turned redder than a charmeleon's.
"M-mom-Mother Mew, I'm so sorry!" Ithos squealed. "I-it, I was just zoned out, I swear!" He threw both paws to his head, staring down exclusively at the grass.
Max suddenly didn't feel any bit of embarrassment. In fact, with a quick once over of the charmander, she understood why it had kind of hurt to remember he was straight. It was almost embarrassingly cliché, when she thought about it. The Hero and The Partner, but she instead chuckled as she realized that between Ithos, Mandy, and Eleos, she absolutely had a type.
Maybe Cori would be an exception if she had feelings for them, but she of course didn't and they weren't.
Nevertheless… she certainly didn't want to rush things. Seeing Ithos absolutely beside himself in embarrassment, a devilish grin started spreading her lips. She decided for absolute certain that it'd be better to take their time. For his sake, and nothing to do with vengeance, she resolved to simply not notice the little hint Ithos just dropped.
Hell, Ithos had missed all of hers.
"Hey, I'm sorry," Max said, wrapping an arm around Ithos' back. He yelped at her touch, so to calm him down, she dragged her paw down his back, making sure not to go against the grain, and let muscle memory guide her. Her claws poked at the scales right under his shoulder blade, right above his tail, and watched the anxiety melt off his face. He was a lot more timid than she remembered, but maybe he had some growing left to do.
"Look, I don't really know this place too well," she said, patting his back. "I know we just met, but could I ask a favor?"
"What?" Ithos asked, starting to look more like himself. "Yeah, of course!" He looked at her with a befuddled smile, shaking his head. With all the cheer she expected, he looked at her like asking for help was hilariously redundant. The sight had joy bubbling up in her chest. It was just like she remembered him.
"I'm not sure I can find you a place to stay, but I'll try my best!" he said. An ache started to form in the back of Max's throat while she watched him practically trip over himself to declare his helpfulness. An idea flashed in his eyes like a fire, but he had to physically pull himself back. "O-or, well, there is one thing." He turned away to scratch his neck; Max held him tighter without his notice.
"It's just, well…," Ithos stumbled to mumbles. Even still, Max could see that eager glint in his eyes. She couldn't have said no to that face if she wanted to. "Do you know about Rescue Teams?" It helped that she didn't want to.
"Yes!" Max squeaked, tears cracking her voice to bits. She couldn't help yanking him into a hug while tears started streaming down her cheeks. "Yes! Let's do it!" Gleeful giggles ripped out of her without any chance at resistance. Her mind raced, every single dream coming true right before her eyes. "A team! Let's form a team!" It finally hit her. She was getting a second chance. She could finally do this right.
"R-really?!" Ithos cheered. He threw his own arms around her after the initial surprise. With her legs wrapped around his belly, she fit right in his lap, barely tall enough to rest her head on his shoulder. "Thank you!"
He tried to hop with her in his arms, but barely made it up off the ground and toppled back down. "Wh-whoah," he grunted. "You're kinda heavy for a pikachu." Max couldn't hold back a laugh. It really, really was just like before. "O-oh! But, so, we'll need a na-"
"Plasma!" Max squeaked, unable to hold herself back. "Team Plasma!"
Ithos churred out a roiling excitement. "That's perfect!" he cheered. He even let out a chuckle, shaking his head before mumbling, "I was about to say that, too." He didn't linger on that, though, before yanking her back into a tighter embrace. He shook with excitement while Max melted in the embrace she'd missed. He leaned down to declare, "We're gonna be the best Rescue Team the world's ever seen!"
Max's ear twitched. The first time, she'd been too excited to care. It was one word, one synonym that was functionally the same thing. She figured it was just a slip of the tongue, or maybe she'd just misheard him. Even still, she wasn't convinced she heard right.
"Hey, Ithos?" Max asked. She didn't let go of him, but she extended her arms to lean back enough to look up at him. "Did you mean to say 'Rescue Team'?"
To be continued in…
(Another) First Kiss
(A/N: Hey, this is a general announcement for this Part's special episode. I'm posting it here for a few reasons.
First, if anyone ever gets here in the future, they'll know that this is when that story happens. Also for anyone who follows this story, but not me as an author so they know that I'm posting it. It is meant as a special episode, after all. In fact, I kinda… planned for this to be a single chapter.
Given that it's now over 160K words and counting, I decided to not post it all as one fuck off chapter. Also, uh. It kept crashing my word processor. The most petty reason is I've already numbered the chapters after this one, dammit, and I'm not changing them now.
The rest of this note is a general announcement for Dream of Change. Most importantly, I'm telling you now, it's not abandoned. I have chapters after this written already. I'll come back to this once I'm done posting (Another) First Kiss. The attention I've gotten on this fic has been really nice. It means a lot to me, and I'm not going to abandon it all of a sudden. I mean, I already know where it needs to go, anyway.
I'll be back. See ya soon, well.
However long it takes me to upload this beast.)