Chapter Four - Regina

I close my eyes and tilt my head back, letting the shower's steaming-hot water wash over my face. I have already shampooed and conditioned my hair and lathered my entire body in apple-cinnamon-scented body wash. I am now using the shower for its true purpose: overthinking. Goodness there a lot of material for me to go through tonight. Even though I only had a tour of the house and eaten a pasta so far, I am already completely overwhelmed by how bonkers the situation at Swan Mansion is.

For one, there's the fact I am sharing a room with Henry. I did know that was the deal going in, and he has kept his word and got us a room with separate double beds, now that I am actually here, I cannot shake the feeling that I shouldn't be having a slumber party with my employee. To this day, nobody on my books has seen me in my fluffy PJs and I am feeling a bit strange about that changing. I like my privacy, I like my silk pajamas and my own space.

For two, there's a role that I am here to play. If it's a bit weird that I am sharing digs with Henry, then it's downright insane that I am playing-acting as his girlfriend who is half of my age. Does he know how old I am, thinking back of our conversations. He still doesn't know my personal information about me yet. I don't even know any of my lines or directions. The sum of Henry Swan knowledge is that he works as an editor in my company and his favorite color is blue.

For three, there is a small fact of this whopping mansion. I swear it grew larger and more magnificent as the tour went on, and as much as I enjoy looking smaller details, the full scale of this place is strange to me. There's no way possible for this house looks larger, than it is on the outside.

And then there's Emma.

But no, I am not going to think about her. She is just Henry's mother. That's it. Any thoughts I did have about her out on the driveway were the obvious result of a moment of madness. I mean really, "One of the most beautiful woman I ever seen?" Ridiculous.

I reach out to turn the heat up even higher. All it takes the slightest twist of a large metal tap, which is refreshing considering the most unfamiliar large showers that is filled with handles, values and everything its needed is truly amazing.

Clouds of steam gather around me. I take in a deep breath, and when I exhale, I let every inch of my body relax. I remind myself that there is no use in holding onto the stressful thoughts. Before the warm, cozy feeling deserts me, I step out of the shower and into a huge towel. All of this is making me miss home a lot more lately. The fluffy cotton is incredibly soft against my skin and wraps around my body nearly twice over. I looked over to the clock and it's nearly 11PM and it seems to be a good time as any for late-night matter with Henry.

In the bedroom, Henry has set up a full-on classroom. There are pads of paper on both of our beds, and the matching walnut side tables covered with pens, highlighters, and Post-it notes. He's even donning a pair of think-rimmed reading glasses. As I walk in, he lowers a sheet and smiles at me.

"Hey! You ready to study up?"

I grin back at him. The excessive nerdiness of this set-up paired with Henry's dorky smile has got rid of any last remnants of anxiety. He's such a nerd, loves comics, imagine adventures and a great writer. If he was my son, I would be so proud of him. Henry's excuse to use this room was because of the view that he wanted me to see because you can basically see most of the town from here. I sit myself down on the mattress, stretching my legs out over the crisp white sheets. I am more than ready to settle into this new normal. I just have to focus on Henry because I need to get to know him and transform myself into his ideal girlfriend. I will become the most adoring and attentive partner of all time.

"Regina?"

"Hugh?"

"I said, shall we dive in?" Henry waves his piece of paper at me, "I've written out a couple of nice few questions to get us started."

I nod and reach forward to pick up a lined notepad at the foot of the bed. The first page is covered in neat handwriting of Henry's. "I thought we'd start off with some quick questions," he says, "just to ease us into it." He is most definitely a writer, and he writes like he's a writer. I take closer look at the paper. I can't help but grin again with pride on how well prepared he is on this and we started off with favorite food.

"I love Latino food," I tell him. "You?"

"I am a huge fan of grilled cheese sandwich and a burger," he writes something down, "Favorite TV show?"

"Any reality TV show or news mostly. You?"

The West Wing."

"Okay," I fall back against the pillows, taking my crib sheet with me, "music?"

"Coldplay is my favorite. I like Snow Patrol, U2, Maroon 5, I like different kinds of music."

I manage not to yawn. "I'm into slightly international indie stuff. I can never pick any favorites, so you can just say I like listening to several international music. How about your favorite film?"

"The Godfather."

"Is this really your favorite, Henry?" This taste sounds so male and he likes comics, action figures and well, a nerd for that matter. I shot him a look to reconsider the answer, and he sighs, "fine, I love hero movies, like Superman, Batman, or any hero movies and fairy tale stories. I love writing old hero stories"

"Mmmm," I smile at him, and I knew that already, "the comics you mentioned were a huge giveaway," then I added a little joke, "besides, if you are not careful, I might have to break up with you,"

"Okay, darling, but can we schedule our separation for after Christmas."

"Good idea," I agree, "I don't want to miss out on my presents."

"Oh, I am getting you presents, am I?"

"Of course, you are, Henry. We both are supposed to get presents for each other on Christmas day. It shouldn't be too difficult, and I'll help, so don't worry." It's been awhile, I made a new friend and even consider a friend. Together we went through several questions such as pet peeves, favorite places, best subjects in school and families.

"So, what's your family like?" Henry asks.

I stiffen. I wasn't ready for that question yet, but I play it off with a shrug. "It's a small family. Not that much to say. Let's talk about yours first, since I'll be actually meeting them in the morning."

"Fair point." He pushes his glasses up his nose. "Now it's time for you to make notes, then."

I suppress a smile and don't even need the notes, I have the perfect memories. Hes tarted with Emma, "We'll start with Emma, my mom because you already met her."

Emma is a major travel junkie, she works as bail bondsperson, get paid to travel and catch criminals. Last time she was in New York and caught a guy who was hiding from his wife and on the run for fraud. For myself, I like my home comforts and be at home." Henry reaches for cinnamon cookie on the nightstand, "anyways," Henry continues with his mouth full.

"Henry, you know it's rude to talk and eat with your mouth full."

Henry swallows then apologizes, "that job works for mom, so more power for her. She's a real free spirit, horrifically messy, but very funny, in her own ways."

Regina pretended to jot all down to keep Henry happy, "Nice. And her partner? Is she married? Engaged?"

"No, she hasn't been with anyone since dad. Lately she has different girlfriends or boyfriends ever year."

"Oh, I see."

"She wasn't big on commitment, my mom. She had it hard after dad passes away. This is first time I have seen her come back here without anyone in years. That's good for you, though, right?"

I spin to look at him, "what?"

"It's one less person for you to get to know," Henry clarifies. "We've still got plenty more to get through."

"Of course," I relax back into my natural seated position, laying a hand across my stomach. I just experienced a very strange whooshing sensation in there, but it is subsiding now. I suppose I was surprises or excited to discover that she is into girls too. "Let's move on, then. Tell me about your other siblings and your grandparents?"

"No siblings, Aunt Ruby was more of my older sister than anyone I know. She's opposite of mom and close friend of grandma. She's the werewolf of the family, we make sure no one messes with her or fucks with her. She's very organized and dependable. She can be your ally in lion's den or your enemy. If ever in crisis, always call Aunt Ruby. She works and owns at the diner, and I actually do not know anything about her new boyfriend yet."

"Okay. That sounds exciting, too." I make more notes on my Post-it.

"There's Grandpa," Henry says, "he's about in his forties I believe, and he's the hero of the family. He believes in protecting this family. If anything happens, he'll lawyer you up no matter what you did. He's best grandpa …" listening to Henry how he takes pride of his grandparents. He trails off, looking around the room to take a moment, "it hit him hard when grandma almost died. I don't know the whole story but from what they told me, one of lady who grandma used to work with almost killed her, but she escaped, and grandpa saved her."

"They sound amazing grandparents," I say gently.

Henry smiles, "you'll love them. Grandpa used to work as a Sheriff for awhile then started up business, he loves working with people sort of like jack of all trades. He can do anything, that is what business is all about. Bringing the family together whatever they need him for. Few years later, Grandma won the election to become Mayor."

He is still smiling as he talks, I love how he sounds so proud of everyone and loves them so much. You can feel the love in this family, it's surreal. He lost track of time and gives few stories like his room was blue and they lived with grandparents for short time. As if they were a fairy tale family. I consider this, and it's hard to imagine Henry's childhood being too perfect, even if he was surrounded by lovely family. I for one would have been delighted to grow up in a huge house with warm amazing family. My family is so opposite of his, my mother wanted the perfect future for me, demanded me to make straight A's, to be in honor's society and graduate before I turn 15 years old. I earned several degrees by the time I was in my twenty. My dad passed away so suddenly. I would have loved to be raised by happily married, doting parents like Henry's grandparents. The only family member who completely accepts me and felt the most connected is my dad. We would ride horses, dance around the living room, listen to old music. I don't know why that I am fighting the huge to get up and hug him.

"All parents are a little bit rubbish," I tell him softly. "Mine are a lot more rubbish. My dad's not in the picture anymore either and my mom's …," shooting him a look that she's bit of a bitch.

"Yikes."

"Yeah, yikes," I try a small smile and Henry mirrors it. "So, tell me why you're still single since you have the standard of family picture perfection and why you brought an undercover lesbian to masquerade as your girlfriend for Christmas?"

Midnight is long past by the time Henry finishes explaining why he's still single. It looks like he's more shy to talk to girls. He felt like every time he meets someone, there's always someone swooping in and to take her away from him. He went out with one girlfriend when he was young, and mom wasn't too happy about it. She took advantage of it and made her to break his heart. He tells another that he had a best friend, and his heart sank because she danced with someone else. I felt bad and he deserve someone great.

"It will work out, you know," I tell him. "I promise you will find someone who's perfect for you. You'll have a proper happily ever after and You are clearly lovely, gentle, thoughtful guy and there is a beautiful woman out there somewhere waiting to ride off on your motorcycle into the sunset with you. I know it."

"Thank you," Henry sniffs, but then he brightened considerably. "Thank you for not thinking I'm a loser."

"I never said that …"

He shifts in his bed, kicking one leg out of duvet, "come on, it's your turn now. Tell me about your ex-girlfriend."

Oh. Yeah. I realize suddenly that I haven't had been thinking about her. Not since for a while. That must. Be longest stretch of time without having her on my mind since she left our flat a month ago. I felt weird about it, both sad and happy.

"Dianella was also my first girlfriend," I say. "But it wasn't sweet as yours at the end. We met and fell in love in high school. We enrolled into the same university, shortly after I came out of the closet, and how it ended, well not good. We were high school sweethearts and she come from poor family, so my mother never accepted her, which drove a wedge between all of us. My mother almost destroyed our relationship but luckly, we got away, but just barely. There was jealousy, lust, anger or maybe obsession-the works. She was my only and longest sweetheart. He tried hard to be the perfect partner for me. Over the years, I changed, and he didn't understand," I didn't know what else to say, "I thought we going to grow old together, I mean I was in horrible stock. She accused me of being emotionless and closed off, then having too many mood swings and being not being sensitive enough." We had arguments and disagreements from time to time, but I thought it was completely normal. "In that end, she left quietly without a word. She fell out of love with me, I suppose. She won't answer my calls, so I haven't heard from her."

The floorboard creak in the middle of the room. A moment later, Henry sits besides my bed with a cookie in one hand and glass of water in the other. The gesture almost makes me want to cry. Instead, I take the offerings gratefully. I have a big bite of the cookie and a sip of water, then for some reason, I keep talking.

"The worst thing about the break-up is that I haven't just lost Dianella. Our entire lives are so intertwined that all of our friends and families are mutual. Everybody in our circle knew Dianella before they knew me, and he was loved, I mean everybody loved him. I knew they would stand by her side and other friends I had are long gone. I wanted spend time with her and now that's all gone, I am alone."

I pause for another moment, then say in a small voice," the truth is, I've never actually receive any invites for Christmas. Nobody ever asks me to come, it's always Dianella. The only option I had was going over to my mother's house this year, but I couldn't do it. I had nowhere to go."

Ben is silent for a moment, we are both silent.

"I am very glad you're here," he says quietly. "And you should really feel at home."

"I can only nod, all my words apparently used up. He waits for a little while, then nods back and returns to his own bed, switching off the lamp as he goes. We lie in the dark, together and apart. He's amazing and sweet man, who I would be proud to call him my son. I know we have said everything we need to say to each other and nothing more is expected of me. It is a comforting thought. Soon, maybe when Christmas is over, I'll might have a friend or maybe they will accept me. My eyes starts to feel heavy, and I drop off to sleep surrounded by the warm smell of cinnamon.