Sorry the posting has slowed down, but work has been crazy busy and something had to give. I can't promise what the posting schedule will be like going forward, but I do have plans for where I want this story to go and I will get there - eventually!

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Chapter Thirty One

Tim hesitated, took a deep breath and rang the doorbell. It seemed an age before it was answered.

"Good Evening Sir" The butler greeted him "How can I help?"

Tim swallowed "Does Jeremy Field still live here please?"

"He does indeed. Who may I say is calling?" The butler enquired, before inviting him to wait in the hall before he headed into the house. After a few minutes, Tim could hear the tap of a stick getting closer.

"Tim! This is a surprise." The tone of Jeremy's voice told Tim that he wasn't sure it was a pleasant surprise. As he moved closer, Tim winced. He'd forgotten about Jeremy's accident.

"I'm sorry I haven't been in touch for so long." Tim avoided looking his old school friend in the eye. "I was hoping we could have a chat."

Jeremy tipped his head to the side an gave him a long hard look. Something was different. Tim wasn't as smartly dressed as usual and seemed somewhat deflated.

"What's happened? A girl finally touched your heart?" Jeremy attempted a chuckle.

Tim ran a hand over his face "It is so much more than that."

"You'd better come in." Jeremy slowly turned and headed back in the direction he'd come from, nodding to the butler who was standing guard in the shadows.

They arrived in a cosy room towards the back of the house. Tim smiled at a memory involuntarily as he made his way towards the fire.

"What's funny?" Jeremy asked suspiciously.

"Nothing" Tim replied "I was remembering the snug from that time I stayed with you. With the curtains drawn and the fire blazing - it reminded me of a happy time, toasting bread on the open fire." He sighed.

"Why are you here Tim?" Jeremy asked quietly.

Tim sighed and dropped to his haunches on the hearth rug. He picked up the poker and prodded the fire "My life is a mess Jem, and I needed someone to talk to. Someone I trust." He paused as he replaced the poker "I couldn't think of anyone else."

Jeremy sat heavily in one of the armchairs. "What about the omnipresent Larry?" he asked shortly. "Always your first port of call in the past."

Tim hung his head "He's gone. Everything I thought I knew appears to be a lie. I don't know who I am, where I'm going, what I want or how to get there." he sobbed.

For a time there was just the sound of the crackling fire.

"When was the last time you ate?" a female voice said. Tim jumped up and span around.

Jeremy sat in an armchair. A woman sat on the sofa beside him. Tim hadn't noticed her on the way in. He stiffened.

She smiled "I'm not the enemy Tim. Anything you say to Jeremy would be shared with me anyway. You can trust me."

"How do I know that? How do I know I can trust anyone?" Tim asked despondently.

"Why don't you sit down, I'll get us all some food and drink and you can tell us from the beginning what brought you here today, hmm?" She rose, gave Jeremy's hand a squeeze and left.

Tim sank into the other armchair. Silence fell over the room.

"Who is she?" Tim asked quietly after a while.

"Belinda. My wife" Jeremy stated.

"I didn't know you were married?" Tim looked up.

"You were invited to the wedding, but I never heard from you." Jeremy stared at him. "Your father sent a lovely wedding present."

"My father?" Tim was surprised.

"Yes, your father and I have exchanged letters for years. He was always kind to me, even when we were at school. He listened to me, taught me to play cards, kept in touch." Jeremy paused "He visited me a couple of times when I was in hospital and never treated me like a pariah. He was really helpful explaining what was going on and what they were doing to me." He looked at Tim "You're lucky to have a father like him."

"I know" Tim groaned "At least, I think I know that now. I've really messed up Jem."

Belinda came back in "It shouldn't be too long. What have I missed?"

"Nothing important" Tim mumbled "Just more evidence of my stupidity."

Belinda looked from one to the other. "Stupidity? Why don't you start at the beginning? How do you know each other anyway? Jeremy and I have been married 6 years and I've never met you before."

"We were at school together. Good friends, I thought. We've not seen much of each other since" Jeremy said, looking at the fire.

Tim looked up at him shocked "You were my best friend. My only real friend at school. Did I let you down as well?" Tim groaned. "I shouldn't have come. I just couldn't think of anywhere else." He buried his head in his hands.

Belinda gave Jeremy a sharp look of disapproval "Why are you here now? What's happened that has brought you here to an old friend you think you can trust?"

Tim sighed. "I always thought my brother was looking out for me." Jeremy snorted "He and Mama were my world. He took care of me after Mama died, advised me on my career, included me in everything he did. But now…" Tim humphed "My brother appears to have been involved in some sort of dodgy dealing and has run off to Brazil with a lot of money, most of which is not even his!"

"So, you've lost a bit of money, have you?" Jeremy snarled bitterly "Boo hoo, poor you! You can earn more, or even learn what it's like for those who don't have as much as you did. Some of us have lost more than money can ever buy!"

"Jeremy!" Belinda put a comforting hand on his arm "That's not Tim's fault Darling"

"I know, but it takes the biscuit that he comes here now, after all these years, expecting me to help him, when he didn't think to help me when I needed a friend!" Jeremy muttered. He turned to Tim "In those dark days, when my own mother couldn't look at me and I needed my friends - where were you then?"

"Honestly? Too wrapped up in what I thought was my life to really see anything else." Tim admitted. "I'm sorry Jem. I know it doesn't make it any better, but I am sorry." He raked his hand through his hair. "I was sat in a cold, damp cell on Sunday and I looked at what my life had become, looked at who I had become, and I didn't like it one bit."

Just then there was a tap on the door and the butler, accompanied by a maid, brought in some food and a large pot of tea.

"Ah, perfect timing. Thank you Thompson. Can you bring the low table over and we'll have the food here in front of the fire" Belinda set about arranging the food and serving the tea. The staff made a quiet exit.

Jeremy accepted a cup of tea from his wife with a grateful smile and took a sip before he sighed and said "I think you'd better start at the beginning. What happened that led you to the cell and the realisation that your life is a cesspit?" His lips quirked into a smile, to show Tim there was a truce between them.

Between bites of food and with copious amounts of tea, Tim explained what had happened since his father's engagement, Larry's inheritance, the scandal at the bank, the theft of the money and his disastrous week in Yorkshire. By the time he finished, they were all exhausted.

"I've spent the last few days looking back at my life from a different perspective and trying to work out who was real, who was honest, who lied, who played a part. Everything I thought I knew has been undermined and I don't know where I am or what to believe any more." Tim finished. "I feel if I can understand the past, I can make a better stab at the future. But I also need to know what I want my future to look like. I feel like I have no idea of what life is any more."

"Your father is a good man Tim, always was. Considering how you behaved when he got engaged and then how you ignored him when he got married, he still stood by you when Larry left you in the soup and invited you into his home." Jeremy shook his head "There are many parents who would have cut you loose, you know."

"I know" Tim groaned "And I still don't understand why I behaved that way. The house was lovely, Isobel was welcoming - despite everything from before, dinner was friendly. And then I ruined it all! I said things I didn't believe, picked an unnecessary fight, caused a rift with father after everything he's done for me." Tim rubbed his face vigorously "And I have no idea how to go about trying to make it right" he finished miserably.

"May I?" Belinda asked. After a short silence, she decided to carry on anyway "It sounds like your childhood was quite difficult. You obviously didn't realise it at the time, but just the fact that you said you were always trying to please your mother makes it clear that you weren't happy." She looked between Jeremy and Tim. Jeremy gave her a little smile of encouragement. "From a couple of things you've said, it's clear Larry manipulated you from a young age for his own ends."

Tim shook his head "No, Larry and I were always great pals. We stood together. He looked after me."

Jeremy glanced at Belinda before saying "When we were at school, he would spread rumours about you. It's the reason you didn't have too many friends. As we were in the same dorm, I knew they weren't true and, besides, I'd been there when some of the things he talked about happened. I knew he had either fabricated them or twisted what had happened to make you look stupid, or vindictive, or just a bully. He did it to isolate you and make sure you depended on him. When we got older, he warned me off being friends with you. Told me you needed to make useful connections and that I was a hindrance to your future."

Tim stared at Jeremy, unable to speak.

"The summer I came to stay at Cavenham, I had a series of 'accidents'. My tennis racket? My swimming trunks going missing? He also put some disembowelled frogs in my bed one night" Jeremy shuddered. "Your father found me upset one day when a letter from my mother had gone missing. He must have suspected what was going on. He sent us out on the horses that day for a picnic, remember? No Larry. It's one of my fondest memories of that summer" Jeremy smiled "When we got back, my letter was in my room. Nothing else happened before I went home, except that Larry cornered me one morning before breakfast and said that your father wouldn't always be around to protect me and I should watch my back. I always found an excuse not to go to Cavenham again."

Tim gaped "I… I never knew. I am so sorry."

Jeremy flapped his hand "It wasn't you, it was Larry. Once we left school I wasn't really surprised that I saw so little of you. Larry always kept you busy. He convinced you the Foreign Office was the career for you - because it gave him useful contacts. He made sure you got invited to the big parties - because then he had a second set of eyes and ears. He got you involved in useful groups of people - so it could appear you were independent of him. For some reason he knew exactly how to get you to do everything he wanted you to." Jeremy shrugged.

"If it was always so obvious to you, why didn't you say anything before?" Tim asked incredulously.

"I did try a couple of times, but you just thought I was being difficult, or I was jealous because I didn't have a brother. I even tried to confront Larry once we got a bit older and I was taller than him, but he just sneered at me and threatened to ruin my career options if I did anything. I decided the safest thing to do was to steer clear of him entirely." Jeremy admitted.

"I have been such an idiot" Tim groaned.