My name is Heather Hills. I am 21 years old and a young mother. I gave birth the day before my 21st birthday.
For those who are unfamiliar with me, I was the crush of Rodrick Heffley during our high school years. Our history goes way back; we have a long and complicated relationship
Just before my sixteenth birthday, my parents and I had planned a huge celebration called my Sweet Sixteen, in which I had invited dozens of friends and classmates. One unexpected event happened; the DJ for my party cancelled at the last minute and I panicked, desperate to find a substitute. I rushed to the country club where my little sister, Holly, was hanging out with Greg Heffley, calling it a "mega-problem".
Looking back, I had really overreacted to what was in hindsight a minor problem. Greg Heffley spoke to me about a famous band called Loded Diper which was on a world tour in Europe, and he promised to get in touch with them on my behalf. Little did I know what he was actually talking about; Loded Diper was none other than the band headed by my now-husband, Rodrick Heffley.
My Sweet Sixteen was going quite well as planned, although I did admittedly treat Greg Heffley and Rowley Jefferson in a rude and impolite way. I now regret that; Greg Heffley is now my brother-in-law. He is planning on marrying Holly.
Things were going well until Rodrick decided to sing "Baby" by Justin Bieber to express his feelings for me. It annoyed me, but in the presence of others, I kept my cool until he knocked over an ice statue of me by accident. This sent me flying into a rage; I grabbed a piece of equipment and swung at him, but he ducked. I hit the chocolate fountain instead, splashing my friend Madison and myself.
Long story short, it was embarrassing. It was an embarrassing memory. My parents grounded me for about a month after that incident for my behavior which I still regret to this day. They also made me apologize to Rodrick for his actions.
Yet, I admit that I had feelings for him. Even then.
Long story short, Rodrick and I graduated high school and he continued playing in his band while attending community college. Then, when he was 20 years old, his big break came; one of his compositions that he performed with his band went viral on YouTube and so began his career. Immediately afterwards, he proposed to me and I said "yes". We had a happy wedding, with Holly serving as my maid of honor and Greg serving as the best man.
Immediately afterwards, I became pregnant and gave birth a week before my 21st birthday. Unlike most people, I chose a home birth. Well, not exactly a home birth, but more like an unassisted freebirth on the beach.
Through YouTube, I had the opportunity to watch many famous freebirth mothers give birth at home. They were unashamed of their own nudity and bodies and published videos on YouTube where their own children came into the world. This included Yolande Norris-Clark, Sarah Schmid, and many others. I was absolutely fascinated from a young age and wanted to do the same.
I was all alone one morning on a private beach in the Bahamas all by myself. I was pregnant and due to give birth any day, but woke up with a jolt of pain.
I pulled myself out of bed, a hammock, and got up. With great difficulty, I managed to get up and walk out onto the sand, before sitting down on the sand. I was feeling far too uncomfortable to walk any further. I took off my swimsuit, going completely naked, before setting up a video camera to film myself. I then laid down in the sand.
Yes, I was there, all alone, lying on my back on a deserted beach in the Bahamas.
I felt a terrible urge to push, and bore down into my bottom.
"UUUUUGGGGGGGGHHHHHHH!"
There I was, all naked on the beach.
Another contraction came and I pushed once again.
"HUUUUUUUUUUUGGGGHHHHHH!"
I gave another push, followed by two more. I rested my head on the grass.
"I can't do this," I thought to myself.
I had not anticipated how intense this would be. Maybe I should have called a midwife. Maybe I should have called someone to help me out. Rodrick was on a concert tour with Loded Diper; he was touring Europe and would finish in Los Angeles. He was unavailable to attend the birth of his first child; he had been eagerly awaiting the arrival.
Still, I clenched my teeth and tucked my chin to my chest, giving it another go.
"HUUUUUUUUUUUUGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHH!" I roared at the top of my lungs.
My body was in the process of expelling a child from its womb. Pushing felt relieving; I had to push. My body was telling me to push. It was as if I had a severe case of diarrhea but also constipation at the same time. I had suffered severe constipation as a young child and I recalled pushing and pushing to no avail, crying in pain. It was very much similar; I wanted to see my child now but I knew it would take time.
With another push, I laid my head back down in the dirt, looking up into the blue sky. It was a beautiful day and the skies were clear. I prayed and hoped God would give me the strength to expel this child.
I had pushed for some time, but there was no burn down there. I had been told by many people that there would be a burn down there.
With my legs pulled all the way back, I gave it another go. I clenched my teeth and pushed into my bottom with all my might. I looked down into in the opening of my vagina, where nothing was there. No hair, no head, nothing was coming through.
"HUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUGGGGHHHHHHH!"
I kept on pushing for over an hour and a half before finally feeling a terrible burning sensation down there.
"OWWWWWW!" I howled.
I opened my eyes and looked down into my vaginal opening. There it was; a dark brown dot had finally appeared. The baby had dark brown hair; he or she had taken on the hair of my husband.
I heaved a sigh of relief. For all the hard work, I was making some progress and I could see some light at the end of the tunnel.
I gave another push into my bottom, and I felt my vaginal opening stretch.
"UUUUGGGHHHH!" I growled.
I was sweating profusely and my face was as red as a tomato, but I was determined to keep going.
Yes, I was determined to keep going.
I, Heather Hannah Hills Heffley, was going to succeed.
Nothing would stop me from naturally delivering my child here on the beach, all by myself. This baby was going to come out one way or another.
I looked down at my vaginal opening once again, where I saw that the brown dot in my vaginal opening had grown larger; I had brought the baby's head to a full crown. Determined, I gave another push and the baby's head moved forward.
A few pushes followed, and the baby's head was completely out. I felt the baby's face pass right through.
Opening my eyes, I gave a sigh of relief. I had done it. Well, almost. After so much hard work, I had delivered the head. All that remained were the shoulders and the rest of the body.
The head was covered with brown hair.
I laid my head down in the sand, where I looked up into the sky. I silently gave thanks to God for having given me the strength to make it this far. In a minute or so, my child would emerge.
A contraction hit. I gave as hard of a push as I could, and felt something slide right out.
I opened my eyes. I found a baby between my legs; it was pink, tender, and warm, and had brown hair and brown eyes, just like its father. Immediately, I realized that the baby was a boy
"I did it!" I shouted.
Tears of joy spilled down my cheeks. I had pushed for well over an hour, and now, I was celebrating the birth of my child. My baby.
"I did it! I did it!" I cried out.
I held my child tightly against my chest, as I kissed him on the head.
"Tristan," I whispered in his ears.