Hey guys! It's been a while... 6 years in fact! AHA ha … I'm very sorry. Time seems to fly by without my consent. So, I've decided to re-write these few chapters. I've become older, not much wiser, and still very shit at writing. So please, as I've said before many years back, critique me on my writing and how I should improve moving forward. But as always please enjoy my story!

Chapter One

The process of dying fucking sucks. Well... some deaths. My death. Specifically. I don't know what ancient deity I've offended, but I'm pretty sure I fucked up somewhere. Before I elaborate on my shit death, allow me to introduce myself. My name is Tasia. A 21-year-old woman fresh out of college ready to move onto adulthood! Kind of... not really. Anyway, who cares! Let's get onto how I died, shall we?

I was walking along the sidewalk with my earbuds in, minding my own business. When, suddenly, I got hit by a car. Wow. Spectacular. How original. But hey, at least it was a sexy red-hot mustang instead of truck-kun or bus-chan! Now you'd think it would have been easy. Hell, even painless... HAH! WRONG! Somehow my ass got dragged underneath the car, skin being ripped and smeared onto the street like a marker being dragged across paper. Feeling complete agony when finally, my head ends up under one of the tires and squish... nothing. Tasia is no more.

At least that was supposed to happen. But no. Here I am, very much alive. Sitting on a beautiful white sandy beach. Looking out at a vast blue ocean... Narrating to myself trying to process-

"WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED?!"

Screamed a male voice... from me? Damn. Mustang-sama really fucked my throat up. Wait. I'm supposed to feel pain then, right? Maybe? Then I must be dead and I'm in heaven. Or something. Then again, if I am in some sort of afterlife, I would not feel the beginnings of a sunburn on my face, or sweating my ass off, or sand up my crack? Hold on.

'SLAP'

"Ow."

Yep. Felt that one. Not dead. Ok cool. Now that I've indeed confirmed that I might be alive.

"Where in the fresh hell am I?"

Infront of me as I've mentioned before, is a big, blue, ocean without any clouds in the sky. Underneath me is soft white sand, and behind me...

"A bigass, dense, tropical forest... cool." I deadpan as I look over my shoulder. The area I'm in doesn't seem like there are any humans around.

As if hearing my thoughts, I hear a roar deep within the forest from some wild animal... so yeah. No people around here. Shit. Blood completely drains out of my face from fear but instead of screaming and hauling ass out of the area, like I would naturally want to do. I carefully stand and then speedwalk away down the beach. Who knows! I might run into someone! Hopefully.

After a minute or two of not completely hauling my ass, I slow down... Something feels off. Something off about me... hmm. Something is between my legs. I immediately freeze in place. Perfect opportunity to now assess my body! Let's ignore the 'something is in between my legs' problem for now shall we!? I'm totally not freaking out over it. No Siree.

"Deeps breaths girl, deeeep breaths..."

I let out a long exhale and I finally decided to take a look at myself. First up, hands! That's easy! They are... big... big man hands?

I rub my eyes and chuckle to myself.

"Hah... I probably have some sand in my eye's ha ha..."

…

Nope, man hands are still there. But that's ok! More than ok! I now have big warm hands to hold someone else's hands with! Moving on! I look down and I see no breasts. Just a flat chest covered in a black tee. Alright. OK. Cool. I'm officially part of the itty-bitty titty committee! Not much of a change there then.

With shaking hands, I start to unbutton my jeans. With my luck, somehow a dead fish ended up there...

"Oh."

…

"A penis."

I, a 21-year-old woman... was now a man.

As calmly as possible, I button up my pants.

"Well... at least I won't get my period anymore."

Do I have time or the will to process this? More roars and leaves rustling from the forest occur... no. Fair enough. As graceful as a donkey I continue to speed walk along the beach. Hopefully I'll come across a landmark or a person sometime soon...

It has been 20 minutes and nothing! Geez this is fantastic! I get another chance in life, but I somehow land my ass on an island with nothing but a creepy death forest! It's either I starve or become the forest creatures next- wait.

Out in the distance I see coming over the horizon... a ship? A SHIP! HALLELUYAH!

I almost cried out in joy but managed to stop myself. I really, REALLY, do not want to press my luck but shouting like an idiot and getting whatever the hell is in the forest to rip me a new asshole. This is clearly my chance but to grab the attention of the sailors is my next issue...

"Time to bring out my lack of cheerleading skills."

I grab some large palm leaves and start waving them around like an absolute lunatic. I do this stupid dance for what feels like a miserable 20 minuets, but as if the Gods finally took pity on my pathetic self, I see the ship move closer and closer!

"YES! YEEESSSSS! FINALLY! MY PRAYERS HAVE BEEN ANSWERED!" I whisper screamed while continuing my 'save my ass please' dance.

Once it's clear that the ship does in fact see me, I stop to catch my breath and actually look at the ship I called down.

Huh... it kinda looks like a marine ship from... One... Piece.

It feels as if my eyes are about to fall out of my skull. Because, on the sail, it clearly says 'MARINES' on it along with the weird bird looking symbol.

Ah, of course. I got isekaid into One Piece... honestly considering how my day is going I'm not even surprised. Hmm, now that I think about it, it has been years since I actually sat down to watch this show... or any anime really. Ahhh... where did my time go?

"HEY! KID!"

A loud and extremely rough voice snaps me out of my thoughts. I look up and see Captain motherfucking Smoker in all his glory. He pulled up towards me with another person on a small rowboat while I was lost in thought and staring off into the distance like an idiot and holy shit... He looks scarier in person!

Just as his name implies, he is smoking two cigars in his mouth, white hair, and a face that looks like he was born scowling. He's wearing a white jacket lined with dark fur and it's open so you can see his torso, dark blue pants and black military boots.

"Are you the one dancing around like an idiot?" He says as he is stepping onto the beach with... Tashigi if I remember correctly.

I quickly approached them in a bit of a panic, dropping my palm leaves in the process.

"Shhhh! Shutthefuckup! I was dancing around like a moron so that I wouldn't be too loud! There is something here on this island and I really don't want to find out!" I harshly whisper at them while pressing a finger to my mouth in a shushing motion.

They both take a few steps back, warry of my sudden approach. The woman, Tashigi, bristles up at my harsh words and starts pulling her Katana out from its sheath. She has dark blue hair, almost black, and red framed glasses sitting on the bridge of her nose. She's wearing a dark blue jacket lined with white fur, a floral print yellow button up shirt, blue pants and black boots.

"Excuse me-!"

Smoker interrupted her with a raise of his hand. He then glares at me and growls out lowly.

"You either got balls of steel or are just completely stupid to swear and show no respect to mari-"

"Look." I interrupt. "You can spank me later. Just get me off this island!" I whispered out again pleading with them.

Tashigi sputters angrily with her face beet red while Smoker grinds his teeth down in fury. Oh no, I think I fucked up. They might leave me here because of my stupid big mouth! -

"Fine." Smoker grinds out.

Oh, thank fuck.

"Under one condition." He then pulls out some cuffs.

"And I want no resistance from you!" he quietly says while glaring at me.

I sigh but hold out my hands for him to cuff me.

"Take me away officer sunshine."

He scoffs at my sarcastic remark but quickly cuffs my hands in front of me. Then both him and Tashigi dragged me onto the rowboat.

"We are going to interrogate you once we get onto my ship, is that clear?" Smoker says gruffly as he pulls us away from the death island.

"Crystal!" I happily chirp back. Relieved that I managed to get off the island.

Welp. I'm saved but now I have to figure out how to get on Smokey's good side. I glance at Smoker and see him and Tashigi both glaring at me with distrust.

Eh... I'll figure it out.

There! I hope you guys enjoyed this chapter! Now please don't expect regular updates as I'm only doing this in my down time, but I won't take another 6 years to update! Hopefully.

Anyway bye!