Chapter 106: Triggers
Eddie walks into the kitchen to see Rosa working at the kitchen table – papers spread everywhere "Oh my." She greets "What's all that?"
Rosa briefly glances up "Taxes." She begrudgingly mutters out "Lucky me is getting audited."
"Ugh." Eddie groans out in sympathy as she reaches for a glass "Really?"
Rosa nods "So I'm meeting with my accountant this afternoon and need to make heads or tails out of this before then."
"Oh well at least you have an accountant." Eddie notes as she fills the glass with water.
"Well I do now!" Rosa tosses out in a high pitched stressed voice before taking a deep calming breath "Seriously though, this guy I found - he's been really great. If you ever need someone I highly recommend him, his name is Andy Fisher."
Stunned at hearing that name, Eddie freezes and for a moment a jumble of emotions run through her as the glass in her hand slips from her grasp and crashes to the floor breaking into pieces.
The sound it creates triggers Eddie's memory and she is transported back in time to her first kill as a police officer and all she hears in her head is the sound of her own gun shot.
"Oh my god Eddie!" Rosa cries in alarm as she quickly gets up from the table "Are you okay?"
Working in the study, Jamie hears the crash and Rosa call his wife's name so he quickly gets up to investigate "What's going on?" He questions in concern as he comes upon the scene in the kitchen "Eddie?"
Slowly Eddie's eyes drift over to meet her husband's and in an instant he can tell she's not alright.
"Jamie watch it!" Rosa instructs "There's glass!"
Hearing Rosa, Eddie brings herself out of her trance and looks down "Oh my god, I'm so sorry." She apologizes as she moves to try to clean it up "I don't know what happened."
"Eddie don't." Rosa instructs "I'll clean it up. We don't need you cutting yourself. Jamie?" Rosa then prompts as she looks at Jamie requesting he tend to Eddie.
"Come on." Jamie gently tells his wife as he reaches for her and helps her to carefully step away from the broken pieces of glass.
"I think I need some air." Eddie mutters as she heads for the front door with Jamie following.
She opens the door and steps out onto the porch where she takes a few good deep breathes.
Jamie silently watches his wife's actions then when he feels she is composed enough he gently inquires "Eddie what happened?"
Eddie takes in one more deep breath "Rosa is being audited." She begins to explain "Her accountant is Andy Fisher."
Hearing that name himself, Jamie immediately makes the connection "Oh."
"Yeah." Eddie flatly deadpans "And for a moment I was right back there in that courtyard and…" but her voice trails off and her eyes close as once again the memory of that moment replays in her mind so Jamie simply reaches over and pulls his wife into his arms.
"I wasn't going anywhere then and I'm not going anywhere now." He promises her.
"Thank you." Eddie mutters out as she turns her head to the side and rests it on her husband's chest so Jamie simply stands there holding and comforting his wife.
Silence.
Suddenly Eddie speaks "We need somewhere to sit out here." She realizes before pulling away from her husband "Thank you." She tells him "I feel better now."
Jamie nods in acceptance and understanding.
"Maybe one of those porch swings?" he suggests.
Eddie nods "That could work."
More silence.
"You really okay?" Jamie presses.
Eddie sighs "Hearing that name just threw me for a bigger loop then I would have expected."
"I noticed."
Eddie shoots her husband a look.
Jamie shrugs.
Yet more silence.
"You ever think about yours?" Eddie suddenly inquires.
"You mean my first kill?" Jamie tries to clarify.
Eddie nods.
"Yeah." Jamie honestly admits "Sometimes I'll be in the park and see someone walking and it just…"
"Got it." Eddie accepts in understanding "At least I know I'm not the only one."
"You aren't." Jamie reassures her "None of us are."
Eddie sighs "I know but thank you for saying it."
Jamie nods as suddenly a thought hits Eddie "I guess now I need to explain to Rosa why I freaked out."
"You don't have to if you don't want too." Jamie counters but then Eddie's eyes widen as yet another thought hits her "Oh god. She said she was meeting with him this afternoon! Is he coming here?" She asks before pushing past her husband to enter back into her house "ROSA!" Eddie calls as she makes a beeline for the kitchen "Andy. Is Andy coming here?"
"No." Rosa slowly replies not sure what the big deal is "I'm meeting him at his office in the city."
"Okay good." Eddie breathes out in relief.
Rosa looks questioningly at Eddie.
"We have history with Andy." Jamie explains as he walks into the kitchen behind his wife.
"Oh! Does he do your taxes too?" Rosa inquires.
Jamie offers Rosa a very awkward half smile "No. On the job. We have history with Andy on the job."
"Oh." Rosa slowly repeats "Is…is he a criminal or something?"
"No." Eddie sighs "He… He… The first time I had to kill someone as a police officer it was partially because of him."
Rosa's eyes widen "O…oh."
"Just threw me for a loop when you said his name." Eddie offers.
"I would guess so." Rosa slowly admits "Look I'm sorry if…"
"Rosa it's fine." Eddie insists "You didn't know okay but now you need to focus on your paperwork so you are ready for your meeting so we will leave you be okay and good luck." She adds before turning to walk away.
Jamie and Rosa watch her head to the front foyer where she begins to simply climb the stairs to the 2nd floor.
Jamie hooks his thumb in Eddie's direction "I'm just going to…"
"Yeah, yeah go." Rosa instructs so Jamie turns and heads after his wife.
He gets to their room to find the door closed.
He takes a deep breath, then reaches out, grabs the door handle, turns the knob and opens the door to see his wife with dresser drawers open rearranging clothes.
He sighs, then enters the room and shuts the door behind him. He pulls out his phone, taps it a few times and suddenly Bonnie Tyler's Total Eclipse of the Heart begins to play.
Eddie immediately stiffens up at hearing that and as the lyrics sing "Turn around." Eddie slowly turns around to face her husband "What are you doing?"
Jamie wiggles his phone at her "Is this why you have this song on your Jamie playlist? It kind of makes senses to me now."
Eddie lets out a heavy breath of air "I didn't know you made yourself a copy of my list."
"Oh course I did!" Jamie confirms "It's valuable intel on my wife's inner most thoughts and feelings. "
"PRIVATE thoughts and feelings." Eddie points out.
"Hey you showed me the list." Jamie counters.
"No if memory serves you just snooped in my phone while turning the music off." Eddie clarifies.
"Snooping is such a harsh word." Jamie counters "Research." He offers instead "Like for instance, this section right here…" he notes as he points at the phone and he and Eddie listen to the song
And I need you now tonight
And I need you more than ever
And if you only hold me tight
We'll be holding on forever
And we'll only be making it right
'Cause we'll never be wrong
Together we can take it to the end of the line
Your love is like a shadow on me all of the time (all of the time)
"Alright fine." Eddie relents "You win. That became a Jamie song because of that night you came to my apartment and helped me deal with… with everything..." She admits with a wave of her hand "…after the shooting."
"Well just know that offer is a standing one." Jamie points out.
Eddie offers her husband a small smile "I know."
"So then you want to tell me why you are rearranging the clothes that you just went through and sorted at the time of the move?"
Eddie sighs "To distract myself."
Jamie walks to the bed "Oh I can think of much better ways to distract you." he states as he sets his phone down, then gets on the bed and pats the spot next to him
"Why Jamie Reagan…" Eddie begins "Are you propositioning me?"
"We'll I wasn't." Jamie admits "I was just offering snuggles but hey if you're up for propositioning… like the song says whatever you need."
Eddie moves towards the bed "The song does not say whatever you need, it says I need you now tonight."
"And I'm here." Jamie offers as he opens his arms as Eddie sits on the bed and scooches towards him. He wraps his arms around his wife and Eddie lays her head on his chest as they both just sit there listening to the song
Every now and then
I know there's no one in the universe
As magical and wondrous as you
(Turn around)
Every now and then
I know there's nothing any better
There's nothing that I just wouldn't do
"Thank you." Eddie mutters to her husband.
Jamie leans over and kisses his wife's head "You're welcome."
"You really need to show me your Eddie playlist." Eddie decides.
"No." Jamie rejects.
"Why not?"
"Because it's private."
"Even from me?" Eddie presses.
"Especially from you!" Jamie replies.
"Jamie Reagan, what is on that song list?" Eddie demands.
"No." Jamie rejects.
"YES!" Eddie insists.
"No." Jamie just repeats.
"Give me your phone." Eddie decides as she tries to reach across her husband for the device but Jamie is quicker and snags it out of her reach first.
"Fine." Eddie decides "I'll just look later."
"You can try." Jamie counters with a laugh "But you won't succeed!"
Eddie narrows her eyes at her husband "Did you change your passcode and not tell me?"
"Well somebody told Mia it and it certainly wasn't me." Jamie retorts.
"What makes you think I told her?" Eddie demands to know.
"You're the only other person that knew it!" Jamie counters.
"Jamie I did NOT tell Mia the code!"
"Did you tell Mia your code?" Jamie prompts.
"Well yes." Eddie admits "But that prove nothing!" She quickly tacks on "It's circumstantial at best!"
Jamie looks a bit sideways at his wife "Are you lawyering ME?"
"I'm not lawyering." Eddie defends "I'm just stating a fact."
Jamie laughs "No that's lawyering. I should know."
"Are you trying to pick a fight with me?" Eddie inquires.
Jamie smiles sweetly at his wife "No I'm just stating a fact." He repeats to her.
"Objection!" Eddie tosses out.
"Overruled!" Jamie laughs.
"You think you won?" Eddie warns.
"Um no, never do!" Jamie laughs again "But it's not about winning its about how you play the game and as long as you have fun…"
"How did this turn into an after school special…" Eddie seriously wonders.
"Do they still even make and show those?" Jamie adds in thought.
Eddie looks at her husband in compete wonderment on where their conversation ended up but a moment later realization hits her "Oh now I get it. You're distracting me."
"Um yeah." Jamie simply agrees "Where ya been?"
"Jamie I'm fine." Eddie insists.
"I know you are." Jamie confirms before getting a thought so he takes his phone, shuts off the music and then does a quick internet search. A moment later he turns the phone around to show his wife "How about this swing?"
Eddie looks at the phone to see a picture of a porch swing "Hmmmm." She ponders as she takes his phone from him "It's okay but what else do they have? I don't want to buy the first one I see. Oh Geez." She then breathes out as she starts scrolling through all the different styles and colors. "Oh I like this one!" Eddie announces but then her face frowns "But ouch not at that price." She adds as she keeps scrolling causing Jamie to smile a little smile as he simply watches his wife really get into the search.
And distracted…
...