Son Turned Daughter, Chapter 10
An unusual disclaimer: Ranma 1/2 is the trademark of Rumiko Takahashi and VIZ Communications, and its characters have been borrowed without permission. And Son Turned Daughter was originally written back in zz2002 by fanfiction author Tangent. Please see the first two chapters of this series under his pen name. This series has been written for noncommercial use only.
[] [] [] [] [] [] [] [] []
Chapter 10
"The Truce is over?" Ranma repeated.
"How is it our fault?!" Akane demanded of the two girls.
But Ryonami looked back to Nabiki, "You didn't hear?! The was a riot after the assembly yesterday!"
"It was the Hentai Horde that started it!" Kikuko also looked mainly at their leader. "They didn't like that the Truce Enforcement Club wouldn't sell them raffle tickets."
"The raffle tickets?" Nabiki instantly understood. "Only the boys who've never fought Akane were allowed to buy a chance to date her or Ranma!"
"They had the list, of course!" Ryonami nodded.
"Ikuko says they're not giving into the male troublemakers!" Kikuko said. "The Club's going ahead and have the raffle drawing!"
"Male troublemakers!?" Akane did not like the implication.
Nabiki looked at the tall, tan owner of Furinkan High School dressed as a Maharaja still standing patiently at the gate. "When is the raffle drawing?! Where?!"
As soon as school is over! On the sports field!"
"Where the bleachers are!"
Nabiki nodded, "This is Saturday. There's only half a day of classes." And she remembered something from the old, to her ancient, movie Westerns she had researched, "Noon: The Showdown begins at High Noon!"
"The Truce Enforcers are tough!" Kikuko said. "Even in the middle of a battle, they're still selling tickets!"
"Any two of them could do what Ranma or Akane did to the hentai!"
"Ikuko is nearly as tough as the Hentai Hater herself!"
"They're good but not that good," Ranma said, not thinking that she was complimenting her friend. It was an honest assessment of the girls' battle aura potentials. But it thrilled Akane. Now she had to prove her sensei right!
"Why are we waiting!?" the only long-haired girl among them challenged the others.
"If we don't hurry, we'll be late to school!"
[][][]
"You bachche children are right on time! I am very much glad to see you attending my school. I did think that you might not after dhat museebat of assembly!" Kuno's dad said in his fake Hindi accent. "But there is now dhe new school rule added. For bachche not to be in detention after school, and miss raffle, bachche must bow."
"I ain't bowin' to you!" Ranma yelled, her fist ready to punch. She was relieved that whatever that something was that had made her obey the pigtail-cutter yesterday wasn't there today. Two attacks on her by him seemed to have been enough to convince that Something she didn't have to give in to the idiot.
"I am dhe Maharaja of Furinkan and of Nerima and of my financial empire. All Kisaan bow to dheir Maharaja. But bachche need not bow to dheir beloved and forgiving Maharaja. No, dhat not be to whom bachche must bow." And he stepped aside.
His tall, wide body in the voluminous costume-rental had been blocking the view of the statue in the middle of the path to the main entrance of the school. It was the kind that Ranma would have thought of if she ever thought of Indian statues, it was "dancing" on one foot and had four arms. She thought it was a slim but muscular woman (she had seen Shampoo's amazons), but then noticed it didn't have boobs.
"Bachche must bow to Great God Shiva!"
"Shiva?"
"Shiva is one of the three supreme gods of Hinduism," Nabiki informed them. "He is the god of destruction and transformation."
"Bachche see? Shiva is not forgiving bachche like dheir beloved Maharaja."
"I also said he was the god of transformation. That's your kind of god, Ranma."
"A god of destruction is a god for martial artists," Ryonami commented.
"That, too," Nabiki said, still smirking.
"Okay! I will do it!" Ranma yelled and pulled Akane with her towards the statue, the others following.
"You're right, Ranma. I hate it, too. But we have to be at the raffle when our club gives our dates to the winners. We gave our word!"
The frowning Ranma said nothing more...until she stopped directly in front of the statue. As she bowed, she made her hands come together in prayer swiftly, precisely, and said, "Namaste!" loudly – And the cheap, plaster statue crumbled before the shockwaves!
But before it had crumbled, Nabiki had forced the surprised Akane to bow along with her. Technically, they did do the required bowing.
"The god of destruction is destroyed," Ryonami commented.
[][][]
As they entered the school, they heard music with an Indian feel about it being played over the school's PA system. Nabiki explained it was Tantric music with a modern beat. Both were associated with sex. But she could tell them anything more, as she and her friends had to hurry to class before the late bell.
And so did Ranma and Akane.
They saw Ikuko as well as Akiko, Umeko and Emiko canvassing the halls and entering and leaving the classrooms, racing the bell, too. The President of the Truce Enforcement Club looked at her stopwatch. "Time!" she announced. Umeko and Emiko leaped out of the third-floor window and used their portable grappling hooks to swing down to their classroom on the second floor. Akiko just leaped down the stairwell, bypassing the railings and landings.
"Don't be late!" Ikuko ordered Ranma and Akane, holding up the tickets she had sold that morning for the prizes to see.
She was about to enter classroom 1-F when a boy yelled: "147,000 yen!" But Ikuko ignored the hockey player rollerblading down the hall at her. "I won all the money the boys had in our class! 147,000!" Ikuko went into the class. "I will get a ticket!" He caromed a puck off the wall across the hall from the door. Ranma raced to stop it in case it might hit the girl.
It bounced off an invisible forcefield and the redhead had to drastically change directions! She kicked it straight back at the attacker! It hit him in the mask so hard it nearly stopped his forward movement.
But he did stop.
His next puck was aimed directly at the redhead in the Furinkan girl's uniform. She kicked it back. Again it struck him in the mask! Another puck, another to the mask! It was cracking. The next one broke the mask! His hockey stick slapped yet another puck at Ranma.
"Enough!" she cried, stomping on it. "At least, try to protect yourself with that big stick of yours!"
"One more time!" he pleaded. "I have my mask off, now!" Why was he focusing on Ranma? Why were his eyes so big? Akane asked herself. She didn't like the possible answer.
"Ranma!" Akane lifted the back of Ranma's skirt. "You did, didn't you!"
The hockey player now sped down the hall at the girl without panties.
Akane shoved the stupid-at-being-a girl through the classroom door. The curve of his stick came around for her throat to at least snag this prize!
Akane made it past the invisible barrier just in time! The non-player player banged his stick impotently against it! It was only then that the long-haired girl realized that there was a forcefield.
On the windows of the classroom, both those facing the outside and those facing the hallway, were five-pointed stars, pentagrams. A much larger one was drawn in chalk on the floor in the middle of the room. One one side of the room, a barrier of desks had been formed. The girls were behind that one.
Akane wasn't the only one confused. "Let me explain," their homeroom and Japanese History teach said. "My hobby is studying Onmyodo. I know enough on the subject to protect this room."
"You talkin' about magic(!)?!" Ranma was not happy. She did not like magic.
Heiwaujigun-sensei went on say more, but he was doing it in a way that sounded like a boring lesson. That was how Hiroshi and Daisuke were able to get her attention.
"See, Ranma?!" , "Yeah, see!" , "We're not so bad!" , "Yeah! The magic only keeps out hentai!" , "We're not perverts!"
"It only means you're not violent boys," Ikuko told them. "You're still full of the wrong kind of male hormones!"
"Are there good kinds of male hormones?" Ranma hoped there were. The answer, though, was probably in who was on the guy side of the classroom, four. Hiroshi and Daisuke were there, in middle of, quote "no-man's land", so that made there were only six teen boys that the girls could trust. And these weren't guys girls would be thrilled about dating. Especially that painfully thin, sick-looking guy. The guy with the onmyo doll looked like he didn't have any hormones.
"Ranma!" Akane called for her attention. "Come over here with the girls!"
"Okay." But the closer the redhead came to it, the harder it was for her to move. It came to feel like she was trying to wade through thick molasses.
Hiroshi and Daisuke grabbed her arms and insisted on escorting her away. "We see you really don't want to be with the girls." , "The magic tells us you would rather be with us boys." , "Don't fight it – Please don't fight, Ranma." , "Yeah, you're a girl who was raised to think like boys!" , "You like boys."
Ranma had to admit she had less trouble being moved over to the boys' side.
There came a loud, banging like metal against concrete. Then, with one last groan, the pipes in the ceiling broke!
Cold water crashed down into the classroom! Ranma was drenched, Hiroshi and Daisuke were drenched. But, strangely, everybody else only became damp. The magic chalk drawing, though, was washed away.
The hockey and an American-football player crashed through the door and a hall window. The redhead was instantly ready to fight them: "Look, Boys!" she said, lifting the front of her skirt.
The inside of football player's visor became splattered with his own nose blood. Her opponent blinded, Ranma kicked him up against the charging hockey player. Grabbing the stick, she forced both of them to back out of the classroom and into the hall and then out the window on the other side: Crash! Their pads had better work: It was three stories down.
Meanwhile, the girls behind their no longer magically protected barrier were saying, "So that's the kind of girl the redhead is!"
"She's not like that!" Akane insisted. "It's for tactical advantage Only!"
"You're a martial artist! Would you do that?"
"W,would...I?"
"Akane is the redhead's friend." The innuendo was heavy. (How bisexual was she?)
The Hentai Hater who would feel like dying if any boy saw her polka dot panties also was asking herself, How good of a friend was she? Could she do it, if her friend needed her to do it?
"Akane!" Ranma yelled, "Stay here and take charge! I gotta go to the girls lockers and get my bloomers!"
"Bloomers!" Hiroshi and Daisuke cried for joy at the thought of seeing her wearing this fetish!
"Ranma! You should have worn panties in the first place!"
"No panties!" Hiroshi and Daisuke cried from another, better, joyful thought.
"I didn't have no more clean panties!" She yelled as she dashed away. She didn't have any panties of her own. All of the ones she had worn so far had been borrowed.
"See!" Akane practically yelled at the girls with her. "There's an explanation!"
"She still showed her goodies." , "She could have worn those boxers of her."
"Ranma doesn't think like us, yet! She thought you didn't want to see her in boxers!"
Ranma's counselor, Dr. Tōfū, would later add another explanation why the redhead was without panties. It had to do with her trauma of days ago when "everybody" saw she was a "natural redhead".
Meanwhile, Hiroshi and Daisuke were drooling. They wished they had nosebleeds!
[][][]
Tantric erotic love music with a beat continued to be playing over the school's PA system. The Headmaster acted as its DJ. "Hear dhe Music of Lord Shiva! Surrender to dhe Small Death! Unite souls and bodies! School library now have many, many Kamasutra!..."
Ranma was so tuned in on what needed to be done as a fighter, she really wasn't listening to him. She knew the "Maharaja" was as fake as his title! Whatever the HeadcaseMaster thought he was doing, there was no real magic behind it. It was her guess the only motive the school owner had was finding different ways to force his students to practice all-out martial arts without having the wagers that went along with challenges. Furinkan, after all, specialized in the Art in all its forms. But that might be too sensible a reason for a Kuno!
So Ranma headed down the halls, passing classrooms without teachers who knew magic. She was glad to see that there were not only boys who had fighting skills at Furinkan. But she understood there were probably more boys than girls with them. That meant one side of this Battle of the Sexes outpowered the other, figuratively and literally. It was unfair! Ranma's whole life – even before Jusenkyo – had been unfair! Girl brain or guy brain, she knew which side she had to be on! The mission of a true martial artist is to protect the weak! And girls were weak according to the Code.
If the girls were weak, did that make her weak, too? No, that would make her idiot pop right! She, would, not, let, that, happen!
The pigtailed girl continued on, her trained senses alert! Martial arts techniques were being used everywhere! They flooded and threatened to overwhelm her ingrained desire to master anything–goes! The sports–based styles were ones she had seen or would have understood and improvised on her own once she had learned the game sense of each. (Though she hadn't thought of ballet as a sport until now. She could make it even more effective combining its with her own mid-air techniques!) But what really got her bujutsu juices flowing were the anything-goes ones with a girl sense, techniques she wouldn't even have considered if she weren't practicing at being a girl. Her guy brain would never have thought of using makeup as weapons, or if he had confronted a practitioner in its arcane art believed it could be so effectively used in combat. Especially against guys! More than one male lost his male pride if not manhood against foundation, rouge, mascara, and/or lipstick! (Not that she knew the names of these beauty products. Yet.) She wondered if her guy brain could handle the techniques' effects! What would any friends Ranma have think of a guy who did?!
Then there were the others! Like martial arts hair styling! (Brr! Remembering what the Headmaster had done to her pigtail yesterday still made her blood freeze!) Or martial arts seamstressing (more than just pins and threads were involved). Or martial arts hatmaking (military millinery)! Or martial arts footwear (such as those with honed stilettos!) Martial arts cleaning (Kasumi had to know those!). Martial arts cooking (Nabiki said nobody could match Akane in making weapons out of food)! Then there were the even more obscure ones she could only guess at giving a name for, like one that used clothes hangers and fancy boxes.
But for all that, and more, the student of the Anything–Goes school was more interested in the unarmed techniques. Her mind was a sponge when it came to those kinds of actions! She only had to be exposed to it once and she could duplicate the moves. And if she could incorporate it into the choreographed patterns of her katas, they would stick, not to be lost, that was, of course, as long as she periodically refreshed and reinforced them. And what her mind was really alive to were the ways girls could use their bodies that guys – like she could be – could not, would not, or
maybe should not use.
The pigtailed girl immediately started using some of them whenever she came across a girl or three who didn't have the skills or lack of inhibitions or just plain exhibitionistic streak to be a successful fighter. All it took was for a boy's eyes to fall on her now overly jiggly boobs, ass and other womanly parts and the girl they were trying to corner could slip away from the mesmerized adolescents. Most of the time she was gone before they could move again. She and Ranma.
The hardcore hentai attacked! But her hips would wiggle-wiggle and not be where he thought they should be when he reached for them. A hip-fake and he would miss her entirely, then a hip-bump sent the stumbling boys onto the floor. As he tried to get up, she would stomp on him and be on her way again. His only reward was a peek up her skirt. Their nosebleed was often enough to weaken them so they were virtually helpless against the girls who immediately ganged up on him, trampling and beating him with anything-goes.
A ballroom dancer took her by the arm while she was looking in the wrong direction. Before she knew it, her balance was thrown completely off! As it was, without a proper balance, it was difficult at best to attack properly in her usual style, but she was experimenting with other styles. She couldn't shift her approaches as fast as the expert in martial arts tango made her move in another way, again throwing her balance off, again and again! All to a Tantra beat. He would win by giving her a disabling vertigo!
There was only one thing she could do. "Hhi, Hhoney. Hhaving fhun?" Her hot breath fogged up his glasses and he tripped over her foot. Then he had no glasses, as she raced on, bent over, trying not to puke – and banged her head up against a hard, six-pack set of abs!
A boxer stood in her way. She put her fists up. Next to her cheeks, "You would hit this cute face?!" His gloves lowered. She raised her fists.
But a wrestler grabbed them from behind. She leaped! Her braless, 34C boobs bobbed the boxer in his glassjaw and he was knocked out with a smile on his face. Meanwhile, her bare feet pushed off the falling body and used the momentum to propel her ass into the face of the wrestler. He fell backward, crashing to the floor and was pinned, briefly, by the girl sitting on his face. Then he, too, passed out with a smile.
A rugby scrum of eight completely blocked the hall. They wanted possession of the redhead! She leaped! But the back four jumped on the backs of the front three and the eighth man on top spread his waving hands, ready to grab her in whichever direction she went. In fact, they all had their hands out and eager to molest. The boy and even the girl in Ranma cringed. She might puke, after all.
A mid-air shift of her weight and she was on her way to sliding under the legs of the center. Her hands were quicker than his: she knocked them aside and yanked down his uniform shorts and jockstrap! The center immediately went to pull them up. The man on top of him lost his balance and toppled into those next to him and they all fell! The scrum became a dogpile!
Sliding in a skirt was something that should only be done by a woman who knew how to be professional about it, Ranma discovered. Nothing covered her below the waist! She wiped out all of the boys of the nearest classroom by giving them nosebleeds, but there was more. Many more! There apparently weren't many virgins among the boys of Track and Field! But taking care of them wasn't taking care of those who were attacking girls who really needed her fighting skills!
She slammed open the nearest window and jumped. The wind caught her skirt as she went down and, again, she was completely exposed below her waist! But it was only until she landed expertly on the ground outside the school building.
Those trained fielders who could jump did. Setting herself, she used their own momentum to toss them at the boys outside who were now coming towards her!
Then she ran out of boys coming down. But not those coming towards!
"Leave that girl alone, you cads!" a boy called out in a threatening voice. The boys didn't pay him any attention.
Until he knocked nine down like bowling pins with the hook shot of his tumbling umbrella. There was still enough of his power in it for the umbrella to roll half-way back to its owner.
The remaining boys stopped their attack on the little redhead to look at the boy in the yellow bandana as he walked up to what looked like a bamboo bandana and lifted it up. It closed. He pointed it at the boy closest to the lone girl.
"I don't think you should get any closer. In fact," he said as his umbrella included all the boys, "I think you should all leave."
It was him. Ranma recognized him from the night she went out with Akane and her sisters. She was in a girl's kimono and getas...and Kasumi had said something about boys repairing a girl's geta was an omen. And her pop believed in things like that, the more insignificant anything that happened was, the more it allowed a powerful significance to be shown. Her pop was an idiot.
"He's one of those traitors who've gone over to the girls' side!" . "He thinks going soft is going to get him some softness!" , "He doesn't have a uniform!" , "Let's show the trespasser what the Alpha Male Club is all about!" And the weightlifters and bodybuilders charged as fast as their over-developed muscles allowed them to. He merely stood there.
His umbrella opened and it was used to shove one of the brawny guys back several yards. The palm of his free hand shoved the massive pecs of a second, which propelled him into a third. These three landed only a yard away, but they bumped against others which caused a domino effect, sending them all to the ground. The butt end of the umbrella handle then hit the stomach of the one attacking from his rear. The guy keeled over, but before he could puke, bandana boy hit his face with the back of his elbow, sending him backward, away from him and his rough but
durable traveling clothes. They was soiled enough.
Ranma stood there, studying the guy from two days ago. He was about the strongest boy her age she had ever met! It was his weakness. He lacked the agility her martial arts school had trained into her. His techniques were mainly upper body, basically using his fists and a hand-held weapon. Even as a small girl, she was sure she could take him on with blocks, and well-placed blows with both her hands and feet. Not that she expected to. Her training had her size up anybody who she saw fighting.
His very muscular foes fallen in a circle around him, the boy with the yellow bandana with – Ranma's trained senses told her – his steel umbrella carefully stepped between the bodies. He did not need to add insult to injury as Ranma might have. Here was a genuine gentleman, her girl brain told her.
"Are you alright, Miss? You're that kind girl that told me about Furinkan, aren't you? I recognize you by the red hair and pigtail."
"Yeah. I'm okay." The redhead noticed he was looking at her and not at her too girl body. Like the first time he saw her. "You didn't see nothin', did you?"
"I saw you being attacked when I came around the corner. It is unforgivable for these ruffians to assault a small, helpless girl like you!"
No, he hadn't seen anything. It was her assessment that he saw her after her skirt was down in place and after the fielders had stopped coming. He saw her before any of the muscle-heads had gotten within her hitting range. Still, he failed to wonder why there were scattered bodies on the ground that he hadn't been responsible for putting there.
"Helpless girl!" Ranma remembered that she had to get her bloomers and get back to defending the born-girls who weren't capable martial artists! "I've got to run!" She held up her hand in a goodbye and took off!
"Could you tell me how to find Ran–" He wasn't allowed to finish because a bowling ball had been dropped on top of his head from a couple of stories up. The ball split and fell in two pieces and he was left with a huge lump.
So, that's why he wanted to find this high school so badly! Ranma thought. He was looking for a girl named Ran, Orchid. Probably his girlfriend. And so the girl that thought of her Ran as Wild continued on.
[][][]
She met Megumi, Yasushi and Ayane as they were coming out of the girls locker room wearing their gym bloomers and t-shirts. "You have the same idea, too, Ranma!"
"Skirts can get in the way!" Megumi agreed.
"Like pants," Yasushi added. "I like naked legs."
"I don't have the time to change out of –Wait! You said naked!" Ranma stared at Yasushi's and then the other's legs.
"What else can you girls make naked?"
"Hear that!" Megumi commanded her girls. "Ranma's right! Tie the shirts up and let the boys see our midriffs!"
"It'll also help to draw their attentions to our tits, too!" Ayane understood.
"Great! I'll do that, too!" Ranma said as she hurried inside to change. The redhead had learned a valuable lesson. For all the short-term tactical benefits of going without panties, that was a huge strategic mistake in the long-term. (Like Track-and-Fielders and Weightlifters and Bodybuilders attacking you when they might not have if you did have panties on.) It brought more trouble than it was worth! Better to get into the bloomers! And t-shirt. And show the belly.
[][][]
"Now, where do I go?!" the redhead in wearing her gym clothes in a way that went against the Dress Code. There was very little left to do to maximize how much of her silky flesh could be shown without being naked. But, she was sure, if she had the time, she could think of a way to give the guys more eye candy.
How could she find the most number of girls that needed her help?! Her answer was to do what she did the best: She took to the air!
She leaped from outside window sill to one outside window sill. It made little difference to her if they were on the same floor or not. Jumping up to the story above or down, she could do them both just as well, especially since she was in bare feet. Of course, she had to use some of her energies to deal with their pains or heal cuts. She looked through the outside windows into the halls and, also, across and through the windows of the classrooms.
What she saw did not please her need for action, but in every other way, she was glad. The girls seemed to be holding their own for the most part. Those that were non-combatants had either gotten behind girls that could and would fight or had formed a phalanx bristling with brooms, mops, teachers pointers, hook poles, even cue sticks and anything else long they could hold out as something pointy out in front, to the sides or in back of the group.
Also pleasing was the number of "traitors", boys who seemed to actually be on the side of the girls against their "own kind". Chivalry was not dead because Japan never had chivalry. There once was a time when women were better thought of, and miko and kunoichi were still echoes of that time, but that time was more than a millennium ago when they were defeated by foreign influences. Only in modern times were women even allowed to carry their family names. Before, they were the property-to-be of their future family. The idea that they could live outside a family, capable of doing, perhaps, just about whatever a born-male could do was even more recent. Even now, a minority of Japanese with the determination and money to sway, if not jujitsu their culture, insisted on propagating fantasies that could put women in weird, WTF situations and dilemmas. And, so, the Old Man's lack of respect for the opposite sex was a reflection of that kind of regard his greater culture had towards those born females. All this Ranma did not really understand directly as a guy, but her girl brain was absorbing this from being on the receiving end! So she was thrilled to see any example of her sensei pop being wrong, and the stereotype of guys having to be perverts being wrong!
"En garde! Have at you, varlet!" Tatewaki Kuno cried. Ranma looked down to see which sex he was fighting – When a school desk was thrown both the classroom and the hall windows and knocked her from her third-floor perch!
Recovering, Ranma got the falling desk under her. She would have to time what she had to do carefully. She shoved the desk onto the ground, it rebounded back up, she transferred that momentum into her body and used it to slow her fall. She could now lightly step on the table and–
"It is a curse you should not fight, my moon-lit Juliet!" Kuno said, grabbing her around her waist.
"Let go of me, you…, you…." No! The Something was back! WHY?! She hadn't stolen anything from him, or received a gift from him, or – That kiss! He had made the school's hot water heater give hot water for her. And he had done it because she had promised to kiss him – But she hadn't given him a real kiss! She had even said it herself it didn't count if she did it on bandages! She hadn't paid! Theft! She was screwed! Or would be.
Or would she? Kuno, the "knight protecting his damsel" *Gag* was facing off against guys! And they were the boys from his very own kendo club! They were wearing the heavy padding, gloves and face masks of modern kendo–as–asport. Against these armored shinai wielders, Kuno was just in his typical kendo–gi. He was screwed.
Good! Once they defeated him, she could defeat them! That Something wouldn't make her submit to them ...would it?
But he had a wooden sword! They had split-bamboo swords. His bokken had an edge. Their shinais were blunt. His had a point. Theirs padded tips, He was their captain. He was better than they were. He knew each of his fellow club members' weaknesses and strengths, Even with her further handicapping him by his keeping a tight grip on her, he was winning the battle. –Worse! He was actually showing intelligence!
Those with bamboo swords he did not break or split further faced the gale–force blasts from his bokken being moved so rapidly! The wind got under their armor, lifting them away from their bodies. If the straps weren't fastened properly or were too weak from use to come loose or break, Kuno, knowing kendo armor so intimately, would use the point or edge of his sword to cut whatever held the padding or mask to his opponents bodies! One by one, the armors fell. One by one their kendo-gis were torn and shredded. Half of them were left in their boxers or fundoshi.
Those that still had something more on had that something more only because they chose to be the first to flee.
"I am victorious, of course!" Kuno declared. And the "hero" looked down into the eyes of his "adoring fan" as he adjusted her weight so his hold on her was more secure. In other words, only the bloomers were between her and his free hand. Ranma could only think of one thing to do.
"Keep the sword, senpai! Keep the sword!" so he didn't have two hands to use on her body.
"But, of course, my maiden in distress!" And Ranma thought he was right, she was very much in distress. "Do you hear the Tantric music of love? Its pulse beats with our hearts! It is said to be able to join two hearts as one, to be forever linked to the extent that souls themselves are made one in a love that cannot perish.
"Now, does not the love interest traditionally reward her rescuer with a kiss? I wear no bandages to interfere this day."
His lips were coming closer – Closer! He hadn't rescued her, she screamed in her head! But the words did not reach her lips. There was no hope forChomp!
"I have been bitten!" Kuno screamed.
Saved! Ranma screamed for joy inside. And it was a little, black pig that did it! Why? All she cared was that it had!
"You swine! How dare you attack during a love scene! I shall make bacon out of you!"
But the shouts and sword did not scare away the small animal. Instead, if anything, it got angrier! It bared its teeth in a piggish growl, "Bwee–rrrr!" And leaped!
It found any hoof-hold it could before jumping higher on the bokken baka's body. It was too close for Kuno's sword to get good aim at or strike against it, but that didn't stop the – back to being an idiot – samurai from trying. Again and again. The pig would even jump onto the back of the sword and then use it to leap back at Kuno! Each of its little hoof–prints carried damage points.
Ranma found herself dropped to the ground as the kendoist went to use both of his hands.
But by that time it was too late. One last pitter-patter and Kuno toppled, face down and defeated.
"Bwee?" the creature squealed in a 180 change of emotion, not understanding why the barely dressed redheaded girl with the pigtail wanted to pick it up.
"You are a guy!" she smiled. "Akane said the first kiss was too important. The way my luck's been going, Kuno's going to be my first kiss. Never!"
The cute girl, then, smiled, "You're the one who rescued me."
And Ranma gave her first kiss to a guy who was a little, black, pig.