~O~
Elayna Hawke stalked to the entryway of her Hightown mansion, opened the door, looked out, smiled a greeting at the man walking past, De Longhese, an Orlesian noble she didn't particularly care for. Then closed the door and walked back to the library, her original starting point.
Anders looked up from the book he was reading, narrowing his eyes at the way Elayna was twisting her fingers anxiously, small sparks of magic coming off her hands in jittery waves due to her nervous energy. If she kept pacing as she was, there would be a path worn into the tiles from the library to the front door. He had never seen her quite this tense and high-strung, suspecting it had something to do with the surprise he had been told to expect, which perhaps wasn't going quite as she planned. Perhaps it was time for some form of intervention or distraction. Closing his book, he set it aside and stood, walked to her and took her hand. At her questioning look, he smiled.
"Come on, I need to discuss something with you upstairs."
"Oh, but I need to…"
"If whoever you're waiting for arrives, Bodahn will let them in, love, and we won't be gone for very long."
She made no further objection, following him silently when he led her to their bedroom and shut the door, then engaged the lock. Turning, he pushed her against the door, leaned down and kissed her. Kissed her again and again until they were both panting and her blue eyes had gone soft and cloudy with desire. There were no further signs of her anxiety or nervousness; he adored how easily he could take any negative thoughts or emotions away from her. Loved that she let him.
Again, he took her hand and led her, this time to their dressing room. Turning her to face the large mirror that occupied most of that wall, he pressed against her from behind and met her eyes in the reflecting glass. She watched him watch her, while his hand slid along her ribs and cupped her breast, his thumb finding her nipple through the fabric of her blouse and brushing against it with a fleeting caress. Holding her gaze, he pushed up the long skirt she wore, then glanced down and smirked at her tiny, lacy smalls, a soft pink in color against her pale skin. He made a chiding sound.
"What is the point of these, Elayna, to drive me completely mad?"
She gave him a sultry smile in the mirror. "Just another gift for you, to celebrate our anniversary. I hope you like them."
He freed himself from his trousers and pushed her forward until her upper body was lying across the dressing table, briefly pausing to enjoy that image of her. He rubbed his hard prick against her wet heat, coating himself in the hot, slick wetness her body never failed to weep for him, the proof of her desire that stimulated his own. Anders' smile darkened when she sighed, the sound full of expectation and eagerness.
Further pulling aside the tiny smalls, he entered her slowly, slowly, so slowly she was actively trying to push back against him to hurry him along. It wasn't the first time they had played this game, nor would it be the last. But he held her very firmly in place, permitting her no control, knowing how she craved that, how it further turned her on.
He watched her face intently as he fed her slow inch by slow inch, the tortured, rapturous look she wore, one of his favorites on her. It was the whole reason he teased her that way, dabbling at the dominator who forced her submission, just to see it. She waited, watching him, anticipating, he let her anticipate for another five seconds, ten, twenty, then he pulled back and thrust deep, driving into her over and over, rocking her body with his, shaking the dressing table with the force of it. The resulting soft sounds of her enjoyment and approval were a music he would never tire of hearing.
He continued to hold her gaze in the mirror while he fucked her hard, pounding into her just the way she liked, his fingers sliding beneath her smalls to find her clit and circling his touch there, in time to his steady thrusts. Drawing it out, making it last before he made her come. She had always trusted him completely with her pleasure, had let him hold it close and cherish it during their intimate moments, as the precious thing it was, before he gave it all back to her generously, fully, in thanks for that trust. He could feel her starting to tighten around him, watched her bite into that bottom lip of hers in the way that never failed to mesmerize, knew what she was waiting for, what she wanted. He smirked and leaned down closer to her ear and gave it to her.
"Fucking shatter for me, Elayna," he said in an implacable tone, and she did, moaning through her release. Her eyes slid closed while her body milked him, making him come with her, as she always did, demanding his satisfaction as the price for hers. He shuddered against her, then quickly recovered himself, smiling at her post-orgasmic grin in the mirror, the sleepy-sated expression in her blue eyes that was another of his favorite looks on her. He realized he probably had dozens of expressions she wore that were favorites, if not more. The myriad of moods that were Elayna Hawke. He loved them all, even the more volatile ones.
A knock sounded on their bedroom door, and Anders reached for a nearby towel, both of them clean and presentable again in less than a minute. He dropped a kiss to her lips before they moved to leave the dressing room.
"In case I wasn't clear enough, I do like those little smalls, sweetheart. Thank you for the gift."
She wrapped her arms around him and smiled, her eyes dancing with mischief. "Thank you for the gift in return. It certainly helped pass the time in the very best way."
"Always glad to be of service, love." He smirked and kissed her nose. "And always ready to service you in your need." She laughed aloud and shook her head, turning to look at her reflection before glancing at him uncertainly.
"Do I look like I've just been thoroughly shagged? Maybe I should go splash water on my cheeks to cool them?"
Reaching out, he smoothed wild strands of her dark hair back into tidy order and shook his head, unable to wipe the smile from his face. "It's not your cheeks that give it away, it's how bright your eyes are right after I make you come."
Her brows furrowed and she gave him a bewildered look. "Then how long do I have to wait for that to leave my eyes? I don't want Carver to know his sister has orgasms, it might traumatize him!"
Anders chuckled, tugging his coat straight again. "I hate to break it to you, love, but I'm positive your brother knows I take very good care of you, including lots of orgasms."
She closed her eyes, then opened them again. "How about now, any better?"
He laughed again and shook his head. "No, sorry, still look sexy and post-orgasmic."
Closing her eyes, she breathed deep, only opening them when a knock sounded at their bedroom door once more. Anders brows drew together. "You got rid of it that time. You look sad, love, what did you think of?"
"Ask me again later." Stepping past him, she took his hand. "Come, Carver has brought someone to visit with us, come and speak with her."
Relaxed from their interlude, but still curious, Anders followed Elayna out of their room and down the stairs, smiling at the sight of Carver standing in the library next to a strange woman, gazing at her as though she hung the sun in the sky. He had never seen Elayna's brother look at anyone that way, found it amusing and knew he could look forward to having something to tease him about. Turning his scrutiny to the woman, he thought her quite pretty, from what he could see from the back of her, but when she turned and smiled….everything stopped.
He stopped walking, stop thinking, the whole world froze. Until she spoke. He knew her, knew precisely who she was, she looked exactly like their mother, she always had. She stepped closer, looking uncertain, a little hesitant. When she spoke a second time, everything started, his life started again. A part of him long dead and presumably buried, took a sudden, gasping breath when she called his name.
"Soren? Brother? It's me, Johanna. I...I know it's been many years and you probably don't recognize me, but…"
Two swift steps and she was in his arms, crushed against him as he had wanted to do before they took him away, when he hadn't been permitted to say goodbye, and he was crying, dripping tears into her beautiful pale-gold hair, that looked exactly the same as it had when she was a baby, and how was any of this even possible?
"Is it really you, Hanna, truly?"
He lifted his head and held her face in his hands, looking into eyes he would know anywhere, but never thought to see again, and they were both crying, and he knew it was real. And...he knew why…
Looking across the room his gaze fell on Elayna, who was also crying while she watched their reunion, and he didn't think he could possibly love that woman any more than he already did, but somehow he did, his heart felt ready to burst from the sheer amount of joy she had forced into it. Carver had his arm around Elayna, hugging her against him, and would wonders never cease, he also had affected tears in his eyes. Love and hope married together, created miracles. It was what he and Elayna were, the two of them, together, what they were still meant to become.
Pulling his baby sister back into his arms, who was a baby no more and hadn't been for a long time, a person he had thought he would never see again... He held her close to him, tightly, rested his head on top of hers and smiled over at Elayna. His eyes were full of his love. For her, for Johanna, for Carver, for the whole world in that precious, rare moment. She wrapped her arms around Carver and grinned back with complete, shared understanding. No words were needed.
~O~
Anders clutched Johanna's hand in his, unable to take his eyes off her, unwilling to release her from his touch when she was so newly and miraculously returned to it. They sat on the plush library couch together, while Elayna and Carver had gone to the Hightown bakery to pick up something for dessert later. A convenient excuse to grant them privacy and time on their own, for which he was grateful. There was so much he wanted to ask, so much he needed to know.
"Will you tell me," he began hesitantly. "What was your life like after they took me away? I'm shocked you even had memories of me, to be honest."
Smiling with a small shrug, she examined his face again, her smile growing wider, as it had always been prone to do. "How could I not remember you? You live in me, Soren, in my heart and mind, it was your love, yours and mother's who made me the person I am." She looked down, then met his eyes again with sorrow on her face. "I'm sorry you never got to see our mother again, or speak to her. She never gave you up, not in her heart, and she told me everything she remembered about you, so I could know you better. Our father never knew, and he never spoke of you, of course."
When his jaw clenched angrily, she squeezed his hand, brightening when he deliberately breathed away the anger and tension, choosing to focus on what was good, and not let the bastard who fathered them steal any more of their joy. Watching her brother's face and his changing expressions, Johanna nodded in understanding before she spoke again.
"Maybe I shouldn't say this, or feel this way, but it seemed to be a relief to mother and to me when father died. I was only eight years old, you know. It was better, then, for a while."
Anders brows drew together, thinking how much he could have helped his mother and sister, if he had only known his father was out of the picture. He could have gotten them, gone to a different village where no one knew them, they could have been together, and he might have looked after them. If only…
"Don't do it," she said quietly, looking much older than she really was, in that moment. "Mother always said there was a reason for everything, that every step led us closer to where we were meant to be, and to the person the Maker had for us, if we only kept seeking. Look at you, Soren, you have suffered, I know, but look at all the good you have done. Elayna told me of all the people you help with your healing magic, all the lives you've saved, and what about her? You would never have met her if you hadn't walked your hard path. I can see she is the one person meant for you, I've never seen anyone love someone as much as she loves you, and I don't even know her. Can you imagine your life without her in it?"
He shook his head, amazed at the woman his sister had become, and felt incredibly proud of her. "No, I can't imagine my life without Elayna, you're right, Hanna. I never expected my baby sister to become so wise." He pinched her cheek, grinning when she rolled her eyes, then tilted his head. "Elayna gave you back to me, made this happen, just based on a few things I told her about when I was taken away, a single paragraph I wrote to her, mentioning you." He swiped at his tears that rose and spilled over. "I'm awed by the depth and magnitude of her love, and I'm incredibly grateful for it too."
Wiping away her sympathetic tears, she squeezed his hand again. "You deserve it, Soren, you both do. I want that kind of love too, and now that I see beyond any doubt that it exists, I will never settle for less."
"Nor should you," he murmured. "While I'm thinking of it, I've wondered for a long time, because of something a templar said to me once...but do you know if mother ever wrote me any letters?"
With furrowed brows, Johanna nodded. "She never stopped writing you, even though she said she knew you would likely never receive them, she sent letters twice a year, like clockwork." She gasped, her eyes widening. "Wait, I just remembered!"
Dashing across the room to her bag, she pulled out an old, weathered book and came and sat beside him again. He recognized it, a book of children's tales his mother had read to them when they were little. He could see her hands holding it as though it were yesterday, brushing his fingers across it in memory. Opening to the back of the book, his sister pulled out a letter with his name on it, written in his mother's hand. He took it with a look of wonder on his face, which increased when he realized it was three letters, not just one, all written to him.
"I found these among her things after she passed. I've held on to them, just in case I…" She stopped and wiped her tears away with a determined look. "You see? Mother knew. Everything happens for a reason, brother."
Sitting back, he held them against his chest, an unimaginable treasure and gift from his mother. Like his sister. Family. Family was the treasure. Smiling at his sister teasingly, he raised his brows.
"So….Hanna. What do you think of Carver?" While his sister's eyes glowed while she spoke of Elayna's brother, who he had always previously considered a bit surly and unpleasant, he realized love really was blind, or so it seemed. That, and maybe the Maker had quite the sense of humor.
~O~
That evening, after dinner had been eaten, and many loud, eager stories had been told, full of more laughter than might have been expected in the circumstances. Elayna and Carver went out into the garden, to give Anders and Johanna some time alone again, and also to spend a little time getting to know each other as the adults they had become. Carver sat on a stone bench and gave his sister a long look when she sat beside him. His blue eyes, so like hers, were soft and thoughtful when he spoke.
"That's really an amazing thing you did for Anders, Ellie. I hope he knows just how lucky he is to have a woman like you to love him and look after him. And you know I don't give compliments unless I mean them."
She looked up at the Kirkwall night sky, glittering with stars and smiled. "Thank you, Carver, your words mean a great deal to me, they always have. He knows. Just as I know how lucky I am to have a man like Anders to love and care for me."
Carver shook his head, looking back toward the house. "I still can't believe Johanna is Anders' sister. She's so...beautiful, and amazing."
Elayna laughed. "I suppose you can't see it, possibly because you're a man, but they have a strong family resemblance, just as you and I do. Anyone who sees the two of us together knows we're related." She tilted her head with a teasing look. "Since I also find Anders beautiful, for a man, it's really no surprise you are attracted to Johanna, and she is equally drawn to you."
He stretched his hand out in front of him, clenched it into a fist and smiled. "Do you really think she likes me?"
"It's obvious," she replied, with a smirk, both of them standing to their feet when Anders and Johanna entered the garden and joined them.
"Well," Carver began, "I suppose I had best get home to Lowtown, not all of us live in the lap of luxury like you, sister. Some of us actually work for a living."
"As I have told you before, Carver, there is always a room waiting for you in any house I call home. I mean what I say, give it some thought."
Carver nodded. "Alright, Ellie, I will think on it, I promise." He turned toward Johanna and smiled. "Johanna of Ferelden, it was a pleasure to pound those lowlifes into the ground in your honor today, and thank you for healing my hand for me after. I forgot how much I miss healing magic, when I now have to do it the long, slow way when I get hurt."
"What?" Anders cut in sharply, his expression tense. "Hanna? You didn't mention…"
She conjured a magical ball of light above her outstretched hand, leaving no doubt that she had magical talent, the same as him. He exhaled a heavy breath, all the fear he thought he had laid to rest where his sister was concerned, instantly reborn. She came and slipped her arm around his.
"Soren, please don't worry about me. I've been hiding what I could do since I was seven years old, only mother knew, father never suspected. Neither has anyone else I didn't want to know." She kissed his cheek and turned to Carver. "I can walk you out, I wanted to ask you a few more questions about Kirkwall." Offering his arm as he had earlier, he waited until Johanna took it and they walked back into the house together. Anders stared after them, then turned to Elayna with a rueful smile.
"I think my sister is well on her way to being in love with your brother."
Elayna shrugged. "And Carver is equally smitten with Johanna, it's almost as if we planned it."
Reaching out, Anders pulled his lover against him, dropping a kiss to her lips and gazing into the blue eyes he adored. "I'm beyond in love with you, Elayna, I'm mad for you, can't breath without you near. Marry me, let's have beautiful babies together."
She snuggled closer to him and gave him a suspicious look. "Just how much wine did you drink tonight?"
He gave her a withering look in return. "Not a drop, you saucy wench. I'm drunk on your love, not drink." He slipped a hand down onto her ass and gave it a light swat, making her laugh.
"Fine, I'll marry you, but I'm not giving you more than two children, and since twins run in my family, I may get it all out in one go. I hope that's agreeable to you?"
He grinned down at her in triumph. "Everything about you is agreeable to me." He ran a finger down her cheek, his smile fading to a sober expression before he spoke again. "Thank you, sweetheart. You know I'll never be able to tell you how much it…" She pressed her fingers against his lips to stop his words.
"I only did a small thing, trying to restore what never should have been taken from you. I can't give those years back to you, how I wish I could. But the ones ahead of us can be whatever we choose to make them, my brother and your sister, us, our two families together."
Anders nodded, her words finding a place and taking root inside of him, as they so often did. Lowering his head, he rested his forehead against hers and breathed her in. His dream, his love, and now his home too. With Elayna by his side, he would always fight for what was right, just as he would welcome every new tomorrow.
~O~
Epilogue
Elayna Hawke and Anders stood looking back at Kirkwall from the coastal road, still aglow with the fires scattered around the city and the magical blaze from the destroyed Chantry that continued to angrily lick at the sky like the tongues of raging dragons. The life they had shared in Kirkwall was over, a necessary sacrifice to accomplish the goal that had driven them both for years- to force change on a reluctant world and bring about a revolution long overdue. Something future generations might thank them for, though their own would surely curse their names for many years to come. His brows drew together as he wondered for the millionth time if the path they had chosen was the correct one, or if they shouldn't have sought a different solution.
Sighing softly, Elayna turned his face toward hers, the loving but uncompromising look in her blue eyes turning his heart to putty in her hands, and it had long been hers to mold and shape as she pleased.
"You know there was no good choice in any of this, Anders, there never was. Justice and I agreed, and you know you do too, when you aren't letting your doubts eat you alive."
Reaching out, he slid his hand across the slight swell of her belly, let it rest there. "It's just that there's so much more to lose now. Things I'm no longer as willing to risk." He met her gaze, his eyes full of a fierce, protective resolve that made her instantly soften, lean nearer and kiss him.
"This is even more reason why we had to act, to do our part. We were the catalysts and now it is up to others to do their part. We gave up years of our lives for this." She let her hand rest on top of his, her own expression growing fierce. "No one is going to harm our family or touch our children, not while they have us to protect them."
Sliding his arm around her shoulders, he pulled her against him. "Hawke, the Champion of Kirkwall, and Anders the healer, have to die. You know this."
"Yes," she whispered. "I know. So, instead who will we be?" She looked up, noting a few gray hairs at his temples that had only recently appeared, making him look a little older, but no less handsome. Small wonder with all the recent changes in their lives: marriage, pregnancy, destroying the Chantry, now life on the run… His voice interrupted her musings.
"Anders was a creation of the Chantry and the Circle, I'm glad for him to die. I began my days as Soren, named so by my mother, and if you agree, it is her surname before she married that we can give to our children."
"Soren and Elayna Roth?" Smiling, she nodded. "I like it, they sound like respectable people."
Merrill appeared on the path and waved, cupping her hands around her mouth to be heard over the sound of the surf and the wind. "Isabela says come on, we're ready to sail!"
Elayna waved back in acknowledgement and gripped Anders by the collar. "One last kiss as Anders and Hawke, before they are gone forever?"
Stroking his fingers across her cheek tenderly, he bent and kissed her with all the love he had for her as Anders, now in their past, and the future love he would give her as her husband, Soren. No matter what name he went by, he still only had one heart, and it would always be hers. Sweeping her up into his arms, he started down the path, smiling when she let out a squeal of protest.
"You'll drop me, Anders...Soren, dammit! This is going to take some getting used to."
He smirked. "I'm not going to drop you, love. I'm your nice, strong mage, remember? Plus, you haven't been eating very well lately, and don't think I haven't noticed. You're light as a feather."
Clutching him tighter around the neck, she bit her lip as Isabela's ship came into view, giving him a worried look. "I did tell you that sailing makes me vomit, didn't I? And with the morning sickness on top of it…"
Giving her his most compassionate healer's look, combined with the added worry of expectant father and husband, he pressed a kiss to her brow. "I'll put you to sleep, sweetheart, as often as you need me to, but do promise me you will try to eat and drink a little, as you are able."
She nodded, watching the last glimpse of Kirkwall move beyond her vision, sniffing as tears coursed down her cheeks, looking back at him and growling angrily. "I hate this! When am I going to stop fucking crying every five minutes? This is worse than being an abomination, your children are turning me into a crazy person!"
Suppressing his smile and his laughter, he answered honestly. "Not much longer, love. Likely only another couple of weeks and you will be beyond the nausea and mood swings."
He set her back on her feet to walk up the gangplank, following behind her, his gaze lighting on Isabela, Fenris and Merrill, all involved with various tasks Isabela had assigned them. The pirate spied Hawke and her face changed to the concerned, maternal look he had never expected of Isabela. Elayna's pregnancy seemed to have wrought many unexpected changes among their companions, including in Uncle Varric, who had already set up a trust fund for any children Hawke bore him. It was all bewildering and terrifying and completely wonderful.
"Oh, Hawke," Isabela murmured after noticing her tear-streaked face, pulling her into a gentle hug. "Is Anders upsetting you again, darling?" She glared at him while his brows rose in surprise.
"Me? What have I done? I'm the one caring for her, loving her…"
Isabela waved an annoyed hand in his direction. "You got the fun of knocking her up, but she has to do all the work now. No man can really understand what a woman goes through to have a baby."
He frowned and crossed his arms, not liking her disparaging comments. "I think if anyone can understand, it's me. I've personally delivered hundreds of babies." He caught Elayna's dancing eyes and amused smirk from where her head rested against the pirate's shoulder, and just barely stopped the laugh that look had rising in him, turning it into a cough and immediately playing along, now he was in on her joke, infusing sincerity into his voice and expression. "But, of course, now I really think on it, I'm sure you're right, Isabela, and Elayna could really benefit from your insightful and compassionate...mothering."
Narrowing her eyes, Isabela ignored him and hustled Hawke to the captain's cabin while Anders went and stood nearby, waiting to be called to put Elayna to sleep, once they got underway. With impressive efficiency, Isabela and her hand-picked crew had them away from Kirkwall and out on the open water less than a half hour later.
Looking toward Ferelden and what would become their home again soon, he smiled, ready for the new adventure that awaited him and Elayna there, with a family of their very own.
~O~