Susan stood unmoving, eyes wide and locked on Severus. Her silence stretched and made me more anxious than if she would have lost her temper. Her expression gave me no sense of what she was thinking but I could not believe it was anything positive. I reached discreetly for Severus' hand and felt his grip tighten. I could not stop the twitch of smile that quirked my lips at the thought of how this man put himself in constant danger, rubbed elbows with Death Eaters and You-Know-Who, and talked of death as if it were a trip to the shop, but was evidently terrified of a mother of three who barely stood above five feet.

Susan closed her eyes and a forced calmness came over her face. I heard her inhale deeply and exhale slowly before opening her eyes. Her eyes snapped to Severus and any serenity she had found was lost. "How could you put so many children in danger?" She screamed. "Letting murderers into a school? Killing the only person who would have been able to stop them! Do you care about anything or anyone other than yourself?"

His eyes remained on Susan, they didn't flick away for even a moment. "I'm sorry. I know how thi–"

"If one of my children had been hurt, then you'd really be sorry!" Susan shouted, still lost of composure.

"It was because of a child that I did what I did." He answered, his voice steady and gentle. A strange counter to Susan's shrieks of rage. "A student was tasked with getting Professor Dumbledore out of the way, it was his quest given to him by the Dark Lord to prove himself. He's a good boy, but he's trying to find himself and he's doing it in the same wrong way that I did. Neither Albus nor I wanted a fate like that for a child, so it was decided that I would be the unlucky one to complete the mission. The boy was the one who let the Death Eaters in, I tried to get them out as quickly and with as little consequence as I could."

I was surprised that Susan let him speak as long as she did, but when I pulled my attention from Severus to her, I found her with her mouth slightly ajar and her eyes filled with what I could only label as pity. She stood watching him with this expression for a moment before adjusting herself back to her normal stern gaze of him.

I heard Severus intake a jagged deep breath. "I'm sure you two have a lot to discuss. I should go."

"You don't have to." I insisted.

"Yes, Ruby, I do." he said. "I would only interfere in a conversation I have no business being a part of. I promise I will be back, but you two need to talk." I opened my mouth to argue, "Alone." he interjected, suffocating my declaration. He planted a gentle kiss on my cheek before he disappeared with a crack.

I turned my attention back to Susan. She stood, brow furrowed, staring at the counter. I allowed the silence to stretch, assuming she would speak when, or if, she was ready. She began chewing pensively on her bottom lip as she continued to stare.

"Susan?" I whispered with hesitation.

"Please," she said breathily, "Promise me you were going to scrub the counter before you resumed cooking."

I blushed as I remembered what she had apparated in on. "I must confess, I wasn't really thinking about cleaning…or cooking."

Her face scrunched with disappointed dismay as she continued staring at the same spot. "It's always going to be him, isn't it?"

I nodded my head, my voice a soft whisper, "Yes."

"I had every intention of being calm and collected when I arrived, but I saw him and something in me just…snapped." she said, still staring forward. "Henry and I discussed this most of the afternoon and I arrived to a point where I was okay with accepting him in a theoretical capacity, but I don't think I was ready to actually see the two of you together." She hesitated, eyes still locked on the counter. "Is he really your choice?"

"I love him, Susan." I said. "I don't think I am any more capable of explaining why than you are of understanding it. I am drawn to him, powerfully so, more deeply and completely than I think I am able to comprehend, much less elucidate."

Susan made an indignant groan. I was immediately ready to be upset with her for not accepting my sentiments, but just as I was about to voice my feelings, she lifted her wand. "Scourgify." Trails of suds appeared and quickly vanished from the countertop as Susan lowered her wand, turning to face me, finally pulling her gaze from the offending surface. "That was really bothering me. Now, what were you cooking?"

I made a quick glance at the counter. "Er, cottage pie." I answered, pulling my attention back to Susan.

She sighed. "Let me." She lifted her wand again, ingredients prepared themselves, and a dish removed itself from a cupboard. Meat, vegetables, seasoning, sauces, and potatoes layered in, baking in front of my eyes. The finished meal set itself on the counter, perfectly browned and still bubbling.

"Wow." I muttered in awe. "You've gotten really good at that."

She shrugged as she summoned two plates from my cupboard and two forks from a drawer. "It comes with being a wife and mother." She portioned a serving onto each plate and handed one to me. "It's too convenient and saves too much time to not learn that type of magic. You'll understand when you and Sss…" She hesitated as though the name caused her pain to even utter. "Are you planning to have any?"

"Any what?" I asked, taking a bite of pie. "Children? No! No. It's too distressing, constantly worrying about him, to even think about bringing a baby into the equation. We've never even discussed…"

An image of myself holding a baby rushed forward in my mind. I brushed my fingers through the sleeping child's hair; its colour strikingly black against soft, pale skin. A lump within me clenched at this imagining in a place so deep inside of me that I had no idea it even existed. My heart gave a jolt as the realisation that I very much wanted this life washed over me with crushing clarity, swiftly followed with the equally as devastating reality that it was likely to never happen.

Susan's innocent inquiry pushed me into the cognizance that I wanted to have a family with Severus while simultaneously forcing me to recognize that I will never be given that opportunity. I took another bite of cottage pie, hoping that this longing would not linger.

We finished supper and moved into the sitting room, where we sat with mugs of hot tea. Silence stretched between us as we sipped. I began to wish that it were raining or that the fireplace was lit so that there would be some sort of background noise.

Susan set her mug down on the coffee table with a clunk, pulling me out of my own head and drawing my attention to her. "If you've completely made up your mind, let's see it, then."

I paused trying to decipher what she meant but came up blank. "What?"

"Your ring!" She said, reaching out her hand to receive mine. "I haven't gotten a good look at it."

I held out my left hand and she seized it, turning it this way and that, allowing the gems to catch various advantages in the light. "Did he really pick this out on his own?"

"I would assume so," I shrugged. "I don't think he really has anyone who could help him with a purchase like this and I certainly didn't help."

She ran her thumb over the tiny, intricate star shaped diamonds. She shifted my hand one more time, allowing the centre stone to shimmer like the heavens. "It's so odd."

I pulled my hand indignantly from hers. "Well, I love it." I spat.

"No," Susan said defensively. "No, the ring is beautiful. What I mean is," She reached for my hand again, admiring the ring. "It's odd for me to…he's always appeared to be one way, but he can't actually…to imagine him pouring over jewellery, well, it shatters the illusion a bit, doesn't it?"

"What are you talking about?" I asked.

"He really loves you, doesn't he?" she asked after a moment's hesitation. Her tone suggested that this realisation came as part of a grand epiphany. She pulled her eyes away from the ring up to my face. Something shifted in her gaze and her eyes widened. "Wait." She gasped, a bright comprehension lit her features, causing me to lean in closer. "Does this mean he was the one? The one who helped you with the trial? The one I swore to love forever?"

A smile crept over my lips as I recalled the memory, slowly nodding my head.

"Well, clearly, I didn't know what I was saying." Susan objected before pursing her lips. I could see her mind racing behind her eyes and she seemed to relax. She breathed out a slow sigh. "He did rescue you for me, though, and I suppose I can't go back on my word. Can you bring him back so I can thank him?"

"I can't just summon him." I half laughed. "That's not how it works."

"Well, how do you see him?" she asked.

"We used to have certain times scheduled in advance when we would meet. Then I went to Hogwarts and he would show up whenever he thought it was safe, then we started spending every night together in his office, oh, grow up!" I snapped in response to a look of disgust that Susan made. "He would write letters and I would work on things for St. Mungo's. It's not like we can't keep our hands off of each other…not all the time, anyways." A smirk pulled at my lips as the comment hit its mark and Susan made a groan of disgust. "I don't know what his plan is now, but I know he'll be back, he always comes back."

"And you're okay with that?" she asked. "Him showing up whenever he likes, never knowing when or if you'll see him again?"

Her use of the word 'if' caused my heart to pang in a way that was increasingly familiar to me. "Yes, I am. I would much rather have him, no matter how sporadically, than not at all."

Susan shook her head and returned her attention to the ring.

Once I returned to work at St. Mungo's time passed more quickly than I could have ever anticipated. At first everyone was very interested in what Hogwarts was like. The particular areas of interest were the Headmaster, the Carrows, and what kinds of things were happening with the students. I avoided answering questions as much as I could. Luckily, this was made easily possible by the sheer amount of work that always needed to be done. The number of patients increased as the months passed. Attacks using counterfeit potions and poisons were steadily increasing into the spring months and soon the interest they had in my temporary assignment fell away, forgotten.

Severus' schedule became impossible once school started again. Every direction he was being pulled seemed to be the opposite of mine. Long hours for both of us were unavoidable. My favourite nights became the very few where I was still getting ready for bed when he had a little bit of time not promised to anyone or any task. In those instances we were able to talk, catch up, discuss, exist, in those moments everything felt normal, everything was alright. Most times though, he would arrive whenever he could, generally in the middle of the night when I was already asleep. The rustle of covers and the feel of his arms wrapping around me would jolt me awake. A soft kiss on the shoulder would lull me back into a place of security.

Things were getting worse at Hogwarts, as much as I had believed it was being run like a prison while I was there before Christmas, it was much worse now. Students were under constant supervision, being led from class to class by professors. I thought this would have been a positive addition for the students since many of the injuries I treated were from passing attacks in the hallways. Severus, however, informed me that the Carrows encouraged and even rewarded the students in their care to practise spells on others in passing. He reported with exhaustion that the Carrows were utilising the new time to teach more destructive spells. It didn't take long for the dark shadows to return under his eyes.

A dark hallway stretched out in front of me. The end of the corridor was swallowed up in black and I took a step forward despite the feeling of danger I felt looking into the void. With every step, the area surrounding me was illuminated but the end of the hall never became visible, as if it were neverending. I continued forward, step after step, never knowing if I was any closer to the finish. I turned around in an effort to see how far I had travelled, but found myself staring into a lopsided leer. My breath caught in my throat and my blood turned to ice. I wanted to run, but my feet were as though concrete encased them. No matter how hard I tried to move them, I stayed involuntarily where I stood. I felt arms wrap tightly around my waist, squeezing me, holding me even more forcefully in place than my own uncooperative limbs.

"Avada–" A raspy voice whispered in my ear.

My eyes flew open and I gasped a deep breath of air, finding myself in my own quiet, moonlit bedroom. The crushing embrace still enveloped me and panic rose in my chest as I wrenched myself free and hopped from the bed. I spun around quickly to find Severus lifting himself up on an elbow, a look of concern tugging at his features. I breathed a sigh of relief, my heart beat slowed, and the panic in my chest evaporated like mist.

"What the matter?" Severus' deep voice asked.

"Nothing." I said, smoothing my hands absentmindedly over the fabric of my nightgown at my hips. Even in the shadowy moonlight, I could see that he rejected my answer. I took a deep, defeated breath. "I was having a bad dream. When I opened my eyes, it felt as though a part of the dream had followed. You were squeezing me the way that he had been in my dream."

"Who?" Severus asked. "Who were you dreaming of?"

I took a breath, holding onto it for a beat. I was slightly ashamed and extremely frustrated that even considering his name still caused me to shake with anxiety. My heartbeat increased and I smoothed my now sweaty palms over my nightgown before whispering, "Amycus."

He swiftly leapt from the bed, taking me gently in his arms as though he apparated to me. His hands rubbed up and down my back as I allowed myself to melt into his grasp. "I had no idea you were still struggling with that, with him. I should have known." A pause followed and a look of recognition flashed over his features before he said, "And here I've been, sneaking into your room in the dead of night like that wouldn't pose any problems–"

"Stop it. You don't normally frighten me, startle me, sometimes, but who doesn't startle when they are awakened in the middle of the night? Tonight, however, it felt as though Amycus followed me from the nightmares where he usually stays."

Severus pressed his lips to my forehead. As frightened as I had been only a moment before was as calm as I felt now. It was long ago realised that he was my comfort. That feeling only increased the more time we spent together as did the love I felt for him. I had thought I loved him as much as anyone could when I had to leave him all those years ago, but what I felt for him now made then feel like a vaguely warm regard. I now knew why it was so popular to describe love as a burning. I also knew I would never let him go again without a fight. "You are safe." he whispered, as his hand cradled my head against his shoulder. "He won't find you here."

I nodded my head at his certainty more than in belief of his words. I had long felt, if he wanted to, Amycus would be able to find me without much difficulty. I tried to push this thought from my mind, allowing the feeling of safety Severus provided to envelope me as I melted into him. His hold tightened in a warm and comforting manner as opposed to the desperate almost frantic clinging with which he had been gripping me before.

"What's the matter with you?" I whispered, breaking the momentary silence.

"What do you mean?" he asked, pressing his lips gently to my temple.

"You've never held me like that before. Something's wrong."

He pulled back as his eyes took in my face. There was a shift in his gaze for only a second, a flicker of fear. "He's found it, he has it now."

"Who's found what?" I asked.

"Him." He stated meaningfully. "He's found the Elder Wand."

I shook my head. "I don't know what that is."

"Have you never heard of the Deathly Hallows?" he asked, his eyes resting on my face. I shrugged and shook my head in answer. He watched me for a moment as a slight anxiety rose in me as I considered whether this was something I should definitely know. A corner of his mouth twitched up, as if an amusing thought just occurred to him. Was he laughing at me?

His voice was soft and warm as he spoke once again, his lips curving into a gentle smile. "I suppose you were raised by muggles, weren't you? Would you like me to tell you a bedtime story?"

I hesitated. Never did I think Severus Snape would ask me that question and it seemed it had come out of nowhere. We had been talking about something that sounded serious and now he was offering to tell me a story.

Confusion must have been written on my face because he added, "This was the only bedtime story my mother ever told me. My father was out later than usual and she took the opportunity to tuck me into bed and tell me a story. It was such a rare moment of normalcy in my childhood that I memorised all of her words as she was saying them. The tale of The Deathly Hallows was, for many years, a point of comfort for me when I would associate with it the calm serenity of that one memory." He paused, as though allowing himself a moment to reminisce. "I could tell it to you now if you would like."

I nodded my head slowly. I could hardly understand how the telling of a children's story could answer my question of what it was that Voldemort had now. Perhaps it was something so horrible that Severus was distracting me rather than telling me. I became slightly angry that he seemed opposed to talking to me about what was bothering him.

"Lay down and get comfortable." Severus instructed as he walked around to the other side of my bed.

I slid under the covers, the irritation growing at being treated like a child instead of being told the truth. Arms wrapped around my waist pulling me in close until his body was pressed against the back of mine. Some of the ire melted out of me.

"There were once three brothers," he whispered closer to my ear than I had expected. Shivers ran through me, scattering the rest of the annoyance I had felt as he continued, "who were travelling along a lonely, winding road at midnight."

I closed my eyes and let his voice drift over me as he told the tale of brothers and the gifts they received from Death and the subsequent consequences of those gifts. It was clear he had revisited that story many times over, his voice rising and falling in all the right places, pauses where they made the biggest impact, whispered passages that made my spine tingle. My suspicions about his vocal perfection for bedtime stories were, without a doubt, confirmed.

"The youngest brother finally took off the Cloak of Invisibility and gave it to his son. And then he greeted Death as an old friend, and went with him gladly, and, as equals, they departed this life." Silence stretched after his last words, I had been lulled into a relaxed stupor.

"That's a good story and you told it perfectly." I whispered. "It's a bit glaring that the best Hallow is the Cloak of Invisibility."

"Is it?" Severus asked, a slight amusement in his tone.

"Absolutely." I half laughed. "But it makes sense that You-Know-Who would be obsessed with the item that promises unbeatable, unparalleled power. Honestly, it's a bit cliché for him, he should try to be a little less obvious. I'm getting bored with his whole 'power-hungry maniac' bit."

"You shouldn't joke about this." he warned softly, his mouth curved slightly in a smirk.

"Sorry." I apologised.

"Besides, he isn't obsessed with the Elder Wand anymore." he added, "He hunted it down, he found it, it's his now."

I rolled over in his arms to face him. His brow was furrowed, ready to receive my reaction. I shook my head. "He can't actually have it, can he? It's just a children's story."

His lips pressed together. "I don't think it is just a children's story."

I searched his face for any hint that he was playing with me, that this was a joke, but his expression remained serious if not a little fearful.

I sat up and he followed, adjusting his body to face mine. "You're telling me that there is really a wand that is unbeatable, the most powerful wand in existence and that he is in possession of it?" I could feel my heart slamming hard against my throat as I spoke.

Severus' eyes held mine for a moment, no doubt noticing the fear within them before looking down at my hand, taking hold of it. "I can't be sure if all that they say of the wand is true, but yes, he has the Elder Wand."

In the blink of an eye, almost another month had passed. I was in the middle of my fourth set of rounds for the day, checking charts, assessing progress, and checking on new admit diagnoses.

"Felix," I called out. "Did you administer Mr. Hornsbury's 4:23 dose of Garrotting Gas antidote?"

"Yes." Felix called from several beds over, restraining a new patient who was violently lurching from a bad reaction to an improperly brewed Anti-Paralysis Potion.

"Then why isn't it marked down on his chart?" I asked in a harsher tone than I had meant.

"Sorry!" he replied, as the patient's hand came free, slapping him in the nose.

"We've got to keep better notes!" I said to everyone working as I made a mark on Mr. Hornsbury's clipboard. "Improperly maintained records are a recipe for disaster!"

"Dierdre," I said, moving to the next bed. "How is the Common Poison Antidote coming along? We're running low."

"Last I checked it was balsam green." Deirdre answered. "I can check it again, but I think it still has an hour before it's ready for the mistletoe berries."

"Yes, please check." I urged. "I'd hate to have a repeat of last week's shortage due to the mistracking of time."

"How are you feeling Mrs. Leech?" I asked, moving to yet another bed.

Mrs. Leech replied with an agitated groan and a glare.

"Have we learned our lesson about proper cauldron care, hmm?" Mrs. Leech refused to look at me. "A clean cauldron is a safe cauldron. Any potion can become a poison if you aren't careful."

Mrs. Leech gave me a rude roll of her eyes and refused to acknowledge me anymore. Just as well, she was almost ready to go home and had been nothing but mean to me or my staff. How a woman her age could have been so careless was inexcusable.

"Healer Winston?" A male voice said from behind me as I moved to another patient.

"Yes." I said, picking up a new chart. I was met with silence as I moved to yet another bed. "I'm quite busy. You're only going to get half of my attention, so you better make that be enough."

"You're going to have to come with us, Healer Winston." the man's voice replied.

"Was I not clear enough?" I asked, moving on to another patient and picking up the chart. "Very busy, half attention."

"Perhaps I haven't been clear enough." the voice growled. "You are going to come with us. You're going to take a nice trip to Azkaban."

I spun around to find three Ministry wizards standing with arms crossed and scowls on their faces. I wasn't sure how I maintained myself enough to not send the clipboard in my hands clattering to the floor but I was glad that my nerves didn't reveal themselves. I carefully put the patient's chart back on the end of their bed, completely unaware if I had looked at any bit of it or not.

When I finally spoke, my voice had an unexpected edge of defiance. "On what grounds?"

One of the men unfurled a roll of parchment and began to read, "Illegal use of the confundus charm during an official Ministry trial, falsifying blood status, forging documents for use in an official Ministry trial, and finally, attacking a teacher at Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry causing substantial injury."

I felt as though I was watching this exchange from the ceiling. I was growing dizzier as I continued to feel out of my body, watching myself from above.

"This is crazy!" Dierdre's voice pulled me back down. "Ruby would never do any of those things!"

"Perhaps we should look into illegal use of the Imperius curse." one of the Ministry wizards suggested. "It's possible she's using it to make others rise to her defence."

"Are you–" Dierdre began, her tone full of venom. I placed a hand on her wrist to quiet her.

"Go check on the potion." I demanded. I felt Dierdre turn away. A thought occurred to me and I turned back to her. "Keep an eye on Felix, I'm leaving you in charge." One of the Ministry workers seized me by the arm and began pulling me from the room. The eyes of all conscious patients were on me, Mrs. Leech seemed to enjoy the events unfolding. "Alert Healer Rathbone!" I was able to shout before I was tugged from the room.

Two of the workers were walking together in front while the third maintained a tight grip on my wrist. I was able to dip my hand discreetly into my pocket. My fingers found my wand there, I grabbed hold and muttered the spell to activate my portkey that I kept in my other pocket.

"What was that?" The Ministry worker holding onto my arm asked. "What did you say?"

"I said," I spoke clearly, drawing the attention of the two workers in front. "What's another couple charges?" I ripped my arm from his grasp and pushed him backwards, sending him tumbling to the floor on his back. The two upright workers flashed a glance at their coworker on the floor before turning attentions back to me, they immediately began closing in. My heart was humming in my chest as I crushed my newly freed hand into my pocket, the portkey hit against the backs of my fingers as I fumbled to get a hold of it. I was suddenly overcome by the feeling of being hooked behind my navel and pulled.

My feet hit the floor, I opened my eyes to see my quiet, familiar flat surrounding me. Bright spring sunlight poured through the windows. I placed a hand on my chest, willing my heart to slow as I breathed a sigh of relief.

"Did you really think it would be that easy?" A voice asked behind me.