A/N: Last chapter! Hope you enjoy! Thanks for sticking around!

Obviously

Chapter 9: Owning Up Pt. 2

I awoke the next morning to the gentle knocking at my door. I let out a soft sigh, rolling over to check what time it was on my phone. As soon as the light came on, my eyes squinted at the unwanted solar barrage I wasn't ready for. The time read 9:30am. I'd overslept. Another knock came at the door. "Rey? Are you awake?" Ben called on the other end.

I sat up in bed, stretching in protest to the hangover that was wreaking havoc on my body. "Yeah..." I called back.

"Can I come in?"

I looked down at myself to make sure I was decent enough. "Yeah..."

As soon as he walked through the door, I glanced up at him with a small smile. His hair was a bit of a mess and he looked about as exhausted as I did. It was nice to know that I wasn't the only one that drank too much last night. He walked over to the side of the bed, sitting down next to me. He had two cups in his hand, offering one to me. I took it with a gentle thanks, then he held his hand out, palm up, offering me a little white pill. I assumed it was either Tylenol or an aspirin, so I took it, swallowed it and chased it with the coffee he'd prepared for us. I let out a sigh of content, smiling over at him painfully. "Yeah... me, too..." he said with a soft chuckle.

"Remind me to throw something at Poe whenever we see him again," I grumbled, sipping my coffee again and leaning my head back against the headboard. He chuckled again. I reached out and felt his hand on the bed from the pressure. I looped my fingers with his, and surprisingly, he held my hand in return. We sat there in silence, just finding comfort in each other's presence. This was nice. I'd expected it to be awkward after last night-

Holy crap. Last night. My face reddened almost immediately when I thought back to that kiss in the kitchen. As if on cue, Ben cleared his throat and set his coffee on the bedside table next to me. "We should probably talk about last night."

I squirmed a little, but I knew he was right. We couldn't act like it never happened. I sighed and set my own coffee cup aside, sitting up and looking at him calmly. "What about it?"

He readjusted himself on the bed, turning to face me, his leg cocked up on the bed a little as he did. His dark eyes held my gaze and it made me wonder if he was about to tell me it was a mistake. Before I could let my heart start dictating my overreaction, I tried to calm myself to at least let the man speak before I reacted. However, as the seconds ticked by, I wondered if he was waiting on me to say something instead, which wasn't exactly helping the rising anxiety in my chest. "I hope you don't think I was trying to take advantage of you..."

I was astonished to say the least. My mouth opened of its own accord as I tried over and over again to process what he had just said. How, on this green earth, did Ben Solo think that I thought he tried to take advantage of me!? Was it because he called that kiss a do-over? Did he feel bad that it happened while we were both a little inebriated? Because I sure as heck didn't! As I processed this information, I did what I normally did when I was nervous: I laughed. I'm talking gut-hurting, tears spilling from the side of my eyes, wheezing between breaths laughing. I know I probably scared him or upset him, but I couldn't help it. The mere idea of him taking advantage of me, when I so clearly wanted him to kiss me, was absurd!

He sat patiently though, waiting for me to get a hold of myself. My laughter died down and I wiped my eyes, a few stray giggles slipping out until I finally met his eyes. He looked blank, like I'd hurt him. Like he was trying to hold back an emotion that he was hiding in the recesses of his own mind. I gave him the warmest smile I could muster. My hand gently caressed his cheek, feeling the sight bit of stubble there, but I didn't mind. It settled on his jaw; that tight jaw whose muscle was flexing under the gritting of his teeth, then growing slack when he unclenched. "Sorry," I whispered with a soft laugh. My head was hurting even more from that laughing fit, but I still kept my smile aimed toward him. "I don't want you thinking that, Ben. You'd asked me before you did anything if you could, and I consented. I know there were drinks involved, but I was sober enough to know what I was getting into. So... please don't feel guilty, or whatever it is you're feeling right now."

He just stared at me. The silence was deafening. I let my thumb stroke the side of his face, letting him know that I wasn't appalled or offended or violated. Heck, in all honesty, I'd love to relive that kiss! It was literally everything I'd ever hoped for it to be. Even though first kisses were often overly romanticized, I'd say that that kiss set the bar for any other kisses in any romance novels ever written. That kiss was the one that, if I'd never been kissed ever again in my life, would always live on with me. That I'd feel until the day I died.

Ben remained silent, which caused me to worry. My brows pulled together as I studied his face. He seemed to be struggling, but with what? "Ben? Are you all right?" I asked as he remained as still as a board. He didn't make any moves to reach for me, nor did he make any moves to leave. The only indication that showed me he was still alive was the harsh rising and falling of his chest. "Ben... talk to me," I begged him softly, moving the blankets aside to move closer to him. Our legs touched on the bed and my other hand went to the other side of his face, gently cradling his gorgeous face in my hands. "What's wrong?"

He only shook his head in reply, refusing to meet my eyes. His hands came up to hold my wrists, but not making a move to remove my hands from his face. "I was worried..." he said gently. "I didn't want you to get the wrong idea."

I smiled softly at him and pulled him closer to me, his head resting on my shoulder as I wrapped my arms around him and held him affectionately. "You've been so respectful of me. How could I ever get the wrong idea about you?" I whispered into his hair. His arms wound around my waist, pulling me flush against him and into his lap. My feet dangled off the bed, but I didn't mind. We just sat there, holding each other and working through our individual emotions. He was struggling with being a monster for something he didn't even do, nor had the inclination to do. And I was struggling not to blurt out whatever came to my mind regarding him and how I felt about him. "I do think..." I started carefully. "That we need to talk about where to go from here..." I felt him nod against me. I sighed, rolling my eyes up to the ceiling. "Was last night just... a fluke?"

He pulled away from me sharply, his eyes desperately seeking mine as if I'd burned him. "What?" he asked, his voice bordering on trying to keep himself calm and overwhelming fear.

I frowned at him, moving the hair from his face as I picked my words carefully. "Was it a fluke? You kissed me because of the paper the first time... then again as a do-over. Did you want the do-over to try to make it more special for me, or did you actually want to kiss me? I just don't know how to interpret last night, Ben."

He lowered his head a little, as if he were choosing his words now. I remained quiet, allowing him the time he needed to get whatever answer he needed to voice. When he was ready, he looked at me once more, his arms hanging loosely around my waist. "When... we were playing the game before everyone else got here..." My heart threatened to beat right out of my rib cage when I thought back to that. I was finally going to get his reply. "I asked you to kiss me. Later, you said you would, had we not been interrupted. Was that a fluke?"

My brows pulled together again as I stared down at him. "Of course not."

He nodded thoughtfully. "So, then, you wanted to kiss me," he clarified.

I nodded my head, growing slightly more anxious as time went on. Why wouldn't he just answer the stupid question!? "I told you I did."

"No. You said that you would have. Not that you wanted to. There's a difference."

I paused, thinking those words over. "I had a choice. I could either fumble around, blindfolded, and kiss your cheek or somewhere else, or I could kiss you. I'd already made up my mind that I wanted to actually kiss you. That's what I meant when I said I would have."

"And during the game with the others... when I drew that paper... did you want me to? Or would you have preferred I didn't?" Hurt worked its way into my eyes then. What was he trying to insinuate? That we kissed out of obligation? That I allowed him to kiss me because I had no other option?! I felt my heart squeeze ever so violently in my chest. What exactly was he getting at? I blinked several times, but before I could stop it, tears started to blur my vision. "Rey... I just want to know how you feel about this."

"I already told you that I like you, Ben! Why would you assume that I agreed to the kiss because I had no other options!?" My arms fell away from around his neck and I stood from his lap, backing away from him and feeling the betrayal and the sting and the sadness all constrict my breathing and cloud my judgment. The tears fell freely down my cheeks now as I glared over at him. "I let you kiss me because I wanted you to. If I didn't want you to, then I would have walked away from that game. Poe's rules said nothing about walking away. But I wanted you to do it. Just like I wanted to kiss you earlier when we were alone. But for you to sit there... and make me out to be some superficial person that only did things out of a sense of obligation..." I shook my head and glared at him harder. "You're cruel!"

Before I could stop myself, I turned on my heel and darted out of the room, down the stairs, and to the front door. My hand made it to the knob, but he was right there, slamming his hand against the door and shutting it before I could escape. I didn't even know he was so hot on my heels when I got to the door. My senses were so consumed with the overwhelming urge to just leave that I wasn't really aware of anything. Except our proximity now. His body was so close to mine. I felt the heat from his chest on my back as he panted behind me, having ran to keep up with me. I wasn't exactly breathing calmly either as I fought back the tears and bounded down the stairs faster than I'd ever taken stairs in my life. Every fiber of my being screamed at me to leave. To just forget about what happened and move on. Swear off men and get a life. Focus on work. Focus on anything about how it felt to be close to Ben Solo. How it felt when he kissed me. How it felt to have him redo my first kiss because he knew it mattered to me. To be in his arms, in his lap, while we figured out where to go from here.

Where would we go from here? Were things broken? Did we break them last night? Did we break them just now? Did I break them? I sobbed softly, my forehead leaning against the door in resignation as tears rolled down my cheeks and pooled on the floor. My hand white-knuckled the door knob, needing something to hold onto as my body resigned to the emotional turmoil I felt. Maybe I was overreacting. Maybe I was irrational. I probably was. But I couldn't stop. My mind was coming up with questions way faster than he was answering them. I couldn't even infer anything from what he'd said.

"Rey... I want to talk to you," he said softly, his voice rich like honey in my ear. I let a sob rip its way out of my body. I heard him sigh in anguish. "I'm sorry for making you feel that way. I don't think you're superficial. I don't think you did things out of a sense of obligation either. I was..." He paused, and for some reason, I felt the tension rising. It was virtually rolling off of him. "I was just trying to make sure that you didn't think it was a mistake. I wanted to make sure it really was something that you wanted, and not because you felt like you had to. I wanted it..." He paused and I felt his body tense against me. "I wanted it to mean something to you."

I sniffled against the door, releasing the door knob and wiping my tears away in silence. He stayed where he was, hovering over me and not making a move to leave me anytime soon. I turned to face him, still feeling the overwhelming urge to cry. "How could it not mean something to me, Ben?" I whispered, not trusting myself to speak any louder or I'd cry hysterically. "I like you. So much. I was worried that you wouldn't like me back, and that I'd ruined our friendship and made things awkward. I still am... I don't have any idea how you feel about me. You haven't said anything about it, and I didn't want to pressure you, but it's hard not knowing one way or the other. Do I need to move on?" More tears fell down my cheeks the longer I talked.

My heart broke when I saw how sad he looked. He stared at me and his eyes were so full of emotion that I felt like I was drowning in them. We both wanted answers. We both wanted to know where to go. But neither of us were clear with our intentions. Keeping one hand against the door, he raised his free hand up to gently wipe away my tears before cupping my cheek delicately. "I don't want to lose you, Rey," he said softly, as if he were afraid I'd fly away like leaves in the breeze if he spoke any louder. "I want us to be friends, but... I want more. At the same time, I don't want to risk it because I know that if I screw up... and I lose you... it won't be the same."

"So then... what do you want to do?" I asked, my sanity hanging on the precipice of pure hysterics and certain devastation. I felt as if I were dangling over a deep, dark chasm, hanging by a thread. And Ben was the one who could either save me... or send me plummeting into the darkness.

His body moved closer to mine, the heat soon returning to my front this time. His eyes never strayed from mine. Then, in the best way possible, he flashed me that famous Solo grin that melted my heart. "Truth or Dare, Rey?"

I swallowed hard. "Dare," I whispered.

He leaned forward, his lips a hair away from mine. When he spoke, I felt the movement against mine. "Let me call you mine. If only for a little while."

I let out a shaky breath I didn't realize I was holding and my lips pulled up into a bright smile. "How can I refuse?" I teased as I closed the gap and kissed him hard on the lips. He chuckled as I wrapped my arms around his neck. The more I thought about it, the more stupid I felt. If I'd just been logical about it from the get-go, I'd have seen what my friends saw. I'd have seen how we acted around each other, and I'd have picked up on the subtle hints throughout our interactions. Looking back on it now... it was so obvious that we would end up this way. After all, how could we not? Especially when our friends were determined to make us realize there was something there. Losing that competition was probably the best thing that could have happened to us.

Either way, I was determined to see how this would work with Ben. Don't get me wrong; I don't love him. Not yet. But... there's obviously something there.