Mellenova, Solemnace
Cheeks bulging, air seeping from my lips, I worked the dog-leg crank around, each rotation widening the gap between the bulkhead and the door to my cabin. Alloy squeaked. I froze and threw a look down the black corridor behind me.
Bright red skin shone on my palms. I sidled through the gap, dug my foot in to the door's edge, and shoved it open a few more inches. Oh, God-Emperor. I stumbled in to the cabin, shoulders burning, spine aching. Crumpled sheets piled at the foot of the bunk. "Shesmet?" My fingertips touched the door leading inside the cabin's tiny refresher unit. A crumpled shape sat against the toilet with one arm flung over the seat. "Oh…" I stepped over Shesmet's outstretched leg and squatted over her other, bent, leg. My fingers clawed at the towel dispenser, ripped a piece marked with the letter I free, screwed it up and dabbed at Shesmet's cheek.
"You lay him alongside your friend…" Shesmet croaked. "Pay him undue respect." I plucked at another towel, wet it beneath a dripping tap, and rubbed around Shesmet's other cheek. "What justice is that?"
"I paid an officer of infantry the service his commission guarantees. You respect the rank, not the man bearing it. Were we to pass one another on the street, I would salute and not drop my hand until he returned it." Scrunched-up towels pattered inside the toilet bowl. "I could not think of one moment where I might shake that bastard's hand though." My fingers cupped Shesmet's jaw, and I ran my thumb over her sticky cheek. "What he did was unforgivable."
"You're letting him go." Mucus stained Shesmet's trembling lips.
"You kept him, awake, aware, for nine years…" I ripped a fresh towel out and worked around Shesmet's eyes. "…And you speak of justice."
"He cut it out." Shesmet's fingers dug in to her belly. "My son—"
"Titus, Shesmet." I wriggled in beside Shesmet and drew her head against my breast. "Let no further rancour sour your departure. He is your greatest achievement, your world, your throne. So much rhetoric rants at mankind's mightiest constructs—their largest fortresses, their most sweeping of victories over the heretic and the xenos—in their self-righteousness, they forgot their greatest achievement is children. Titus is now your mission, as Ilic and Korsarro are mine." I kissed Shesmet's scalp. "Let's blow your nose and find your feet. If I help you up, are you going to stay up?"
"Mmm…" Shesmet's head bobbed. A grating honk filled the towel clamped to her nose. I wound Shesmet's arm around my neck and heaved her upright. "Mm-mm." Shesmet laid her palm on my chest and pushed me away.
Out in the cabin, I ran my hands along overhead cabinets and burrowed in to the space beneath my bunk. Tocha shotgun, bandolier, hand axe, motion scanner and the two cartridge boxes landed on the mattress. Shesmet hobbled over and perched on the bunk.
"She's here, isn't she?"
"Yeah." I swept the axe away from Shesmet and laid it at the foot of the bunk. Shells rattled inside the cartridge boxes I dumped in her lap. "I'll be needing the green shells, not the red."
"I—I can't tell. It's too dark."
"Check the motion scanner. Might give us some light." I squeezed the release lever behind the Tocha's trigger guard and flung the slide back. A 3-inch slug spilled from the chamber. Three more slugs hit the floor after I racked the slide thrice.
"Nothing." Shesmet smacked the dead motion scanner in her palm then set it aside. "Is this for her?" She shifted the cartridge boxes over to me.
"Her…" I bent and scooped the slugs up and stuffed them in my trouser pockets. "It… I'm not sure what's out there, but I do believe I have yet to see the entity responsible for the Lutufeyo Massacre with my own eyes."
"Massacre?"
"An exercise in unbridled savagery." I lifted the lid on the topmost cartridge box and picked one out.
"How many did she…?"
"Eight…" My nose wrinkled. "Nine…" I held the cartridge up to my eye and shook it. "Last one was an informant. Caught the Navy's attention, that did. Soon dragged me back in to her web."
"The monster at the centre of it."
"Monster…?" I slipped the cartridge through the Tocha's loading gate. I hope these are non-lethal loads. "I will see what wears her face soon enough."
Axe at my waist, Tocha on one shoulder, I led the tottering Shesmet back down to Habitation's tram platform. "Hand on my shoulder!" I hissed.
"Is the whole ship dead?" Shesmet's palm touched my shoulder.
"Aye, now we must behave as if on holy ground."
"Holy grou—?"
"Ssh!"
On the pitch-dark platform, I dropped to the pipes running beneath the rails and raised my arms. "Look at me." Two tiny pricks of light glinted down at me. "I'll not let you fall. I promise."
"Familiar words, aren't they?" Shesmet got down on her knees and wriggled backwards over the edge. "Like you promised others—ugh!" Shesmet's body smacked my open hands. My fingers dug in to Shesmet's ribs and I lowered her on to the pipes. Dust clung to the air around us.
"Holy ground." I laid a finger on my lips. Shesmet let out a whimper and stifled a sneeze. Soft sniffles rasped in Shesmet's nose every so often. After a quarter of an hour's trek, I plunged my hand in to my trouser pocket and plucked a tissue out and passed it back to Shesmet. Shesmet held the tissue between her thumb and forefinger for a moment before blowing in to it.
Hurry up, Lilli, this is the longest one yet. Shesmet's eyes glinted in the gloom. Her foot made a tap on the pipes beneath us. I tucked the Tocha beneath my arm and kneeled where Shesmet's foot was. My ear touched the cold metal.
Tap… tap… tap…
Very soft pitter-patters whispered along the pipes from something moving far behind us. I jerked my head up and leaned around Shesmet. She laid her hand on my shoulder and clutched at the collar on her bodysuit. Mouth dry, I laid my ear flat on the pipe.
Tap, tap, tap… tap-tap-tap-tap-tap.
"Go, go!" I shoved Shesmet ahead of me. Arm outstretched, I pushed her along the passage. A rectangular outcrop loomed above us. "Hey!" I cupped my hands and boosted Shesmet up on to a platform. "Take the—" I thrust the Tocha's stock at her. Shoes scraping at the platform's edge, I heaved my belly up and on to the platform. Shesmet grasped at the seat of my trousers and pulled. I scooped the Tocha up and hauled Shesmet along by the elbow. We flew past sealed doors, down staircases, and through empty halls.
"James!" Gasps tore from Shesmet's throat. Hand pressed to her stomach, she doubled over and retched. "Eugh—" Her shoulder slid down a square plinth a hooded statue stood atop.
"In here." I drew Shesmet's arm around my neck and helped her past the statues flanking a wide doorway leading inside a chapel. Long wooden pews stood in rows. Unlit lamps hung from chains dangling from the vaulted ceiling. A giant statue occupied a throne at the far end. "Okay, let's rest here for a sec." I sat Shesmet down on the frontmost pew and heaved the double doors shut. An iron bar clanged in to place.
Bright fingers cast dim light across the chapel. I struck another match along the rough and lit the last lamp ringing the pews. Shesmet lay on her side, her hands flat beneath her head. I unclipped the sheathed axe from my belt and laid it on the pew adjacent to Shesmet. Tocha in my arms, I carried it over to the nearest lamp and eased the slide back an inch. A plastic shell slid out of the chamber. Blocky black letters on the body read Rubber Baton.
My knees touched the cold floor before the statue. Eyes closed, I made the sign of the aquila and bowed my head.
"What are you doing?"
"Praying for her safety."
"Her safety?"
"However dire our predicament, hers lays ours to rest." Knees cracking, I rose. "She is not herself. Responsibility for her wellbeing falls on me, as does yours until you can be evacuated."
"What was that, back in the dark? You laid your head down then dragged me along."
I took a knee before Shesmet and brought the back of my hand to her forehead. "Thought I'd kicked in the front door belonging to the most powerful being in the galaxy. Three drinks, that's you done for the evening."
"Ooh… don't…" Shesmet's hand slid down to her belly. "I've never been really drunk in my whole life. I thought the bath would clear my head."
"Dry bread—give your stomach something solid to grapple with."
"Oh…" Shesmet lifted her head up. "We're in a church."
"Aye, the one place the darkness cannot follow. I will leave you under the guardianship of the God-Emperor, now."
"Err…" Shesmet's hand shot out and pinched my trouserleg. "D—do not leave me."
"Remember, holy ground." I laid a finger on my lips and gave Shesmet a wink. "Get the door after me, would you?"
The God-Emperor loomed over us. Master of Mankind, safeguard this lost soul. Protect her, where I cannot. I made the sign of the Aquila and gathered the Tocha and axe. Shesmet's feet touched the chapel floor and pattered after me.
"Let Titus occupy your mind…" I punched the bar out of its brackets and leaned it against the wall. "I'll worry about Izuru."
"Titus occupies a realm far safer than we." Shesmet's hand closed around my arm. "I wish to remain at your shoulder—the safest place on this ship, right now."
"Think of what they are doing to the kids at the Schola Progenium—poor orphans without a parent's nurture. You think the Administratum cares about instilling virtue in its charges? You have something that only a mother has. You have the ability to save your son."
Shesmet's eyes fell. Her fingers loosened and let my arm go. "I know not. I dare not."
"You have that power. All you have to do is work out what to do with it." Shesmet grabbed a thick candle from a ledge and pushed it at me. "Got any more of those?" Flat, palm-sized candles with short wicks filled out my pockets. I hauled the doors open one-handed and ducked through the gap.
Oh, God-Emperor. White clouds streamed from my nostrils. Bumps peppered my bare arms. One hand sandwiching the Tocha beneath an arm, I thrust the tiny flame in to thick fog filling the hall. Dead lanterns hung from outstretched fists belonging to the statues flanking the chapel doors. I backed in to a plinth, leaned the Tocha against it, and climbed up to one. A shutter squeaked open and orange light glimmered inside the murky glass.
Two bright beacons shining in the fog behind me grew frailer, until only a faint, orange glow remained. Candle and Tocha aimed outward, I paused by an archway yawning before a corridor filled with stained glass windows and glanced back at the beacons. Both had vanished. Ice flowed down my spine. I dug a tiny candle out and laid it on the floor. Fanged, horned beasts, locked in battle with armoured trans-humans, leered down at me from the stained glass. The candle's pitiful light rescinded in to the gloom. At the end of the gallery, I looked back and watched the faraway glow fade.
What are you that consumes all light? I placed another candle on the floor and tipped the burning wick over it. Wax dripped on the floor.
"You are the root of all my happiness."
The candle fell from my fingers and rolled in to the gallery. I seized the other candle and backed away. Shapes swirled in the fog, closed around the rolling candle, and snuffed it out.
"Seed of all my sorrows."
I darted away from the whispers and fled between rows of hooded statues rising from the fog. Further in, I huddled beside a square plinth and dug my last candle out. A match snapped in to flame and touched the wick. My shoulders trembled. Teeth chattered.
Bare feet trod the floor. The soft slaps paused on the far side of the statue I hid behind. My sweating brow touched the Tocha's cold barrel. Thumps pounded in my ears. The candle at my feet writhed and died. Slow pads circled the statue behind me. I crept forwards, hugging the flat stone on my left. Cloth rasped. I froze and twisted my neck. Nothing stirred in the fog. My foot left the floor and brought me around the next corner. I lowered my right hand and found the axe haft. My left ear touched the stone.
"Turn around, James."
My shoulders twitched. I clamped my eyes shut and locked my jaw. Warm breath poured in my right ear. "I will not look," I muttered.
"Look me in the eye."
"I will not look."
"Look me in the eye, see what is inside."
"I will not look."
"Open your eyes, see what lies within."
"I. Will. Not. Look." A muscle in my cheek spasmed.
Lights snapped on above my head. A soft hum rose from beneath my feet. Frozen against the base of the statue, I unclenched an eye and opened it a crack. Hooded statues gazed down at me. More stained glass occupied recessed arches in the bulkheads. "Lilli?" I twisted around. "Where is she?" My eyes strayed to the ceiling. "Hullo?"
Free from the fog, I trudged through unfamiliar corridors, some fully-lit, some with emergency lighting filling dark spaces with red-tinted shadows. Open up and see what's inside. I rubbed a warm palm over my nape. How long has it lain dormant within you, Izuru? A fork in the passageway ahead split five ways, each leading off in a separate direction. Tocha dangling at my side, I scratched at the stubble on my chin. "Lilli, help me. Show me the way."
Holographic directions formed above the floor leading away down the leftmost path. Eyes fixed on the signs, I traipsed along the passage. Smooth, iron-grey bulkheads gave way to naked pipes and cables hugging recesses. Iron mesh decking vibrated beneath my feet. Light filtered through mesh above my head. At the end of the passage, a circular mouth dropped down to a service tunnel wide enough for wheeled traffic to pass one another. The glowing signs continued along it.
Barred gates sealed off unlit workshops on both sides of the tunnel. Chains wrapped around their locks. Unoccupied servo skulls lined shelves stacked eight high. Wheeled gantries spanned empty vehicle bays. My eyes flicked up to steel track links dangling from the ceiling. Enough space for a whole armoured troop. Zeleska could have waged war when and where he pleased with this.
The weak strip lights flickered. I muttered a single syllable and quickened my step. If I cannot look you directly in the eye… I doubled up a narrow flight of stairs above a pair of sealed blast doors to an observation chamber and exited in to a network of corridors not far from Mellenova's kitchens and frozen storage unit. "Where is she, Lilli?" A pressure door at the fore end of a connecting tube hissed upwards, letting me in to a spotless kitchen. "Where is Izuru?" I tracked the Tocha across square vents in the ceiling. My knees buckled and I bent down and peered through the stout legs of the cookers. "Ohh, Lilli…" My back cracked. Straightening up, I clamped the Tocha beneath my arm and massaged the base of my spine. "I would switch places with her in a second if I could. I brought her in to this. She deserved better than sharing a closed casket funeral with a predator." I sucked in my lips and held down the sob rising in my throat. "In a second." I dabbed my thumb at my tear ducts.
Thick seals holding a freezer door in place gave way. I jerked the cold handle upwards and hauled the door open. Warmth flowed inside the packed freezer. Bright white air poured from my mouth. Brown paper sacks piled in a far corner. Frozen meat hung from hooks. I dragged a stool over to a shelf and thrust my arm between two transparent containers holding vegetables. Not a chance the Absolvers had time to dive in to every nook and cranny. Bareceramite grated across the shelf and smacked the floor. Chemlights, a spare bandolier and an unmodified plate carrier, all ice-cold, fell beside the helmet. My searching fingers closed around two pairs of night-vision goggles fitted to a single mount. The God-Emperor's blessing. I popped the ceramite on my head and carried the gear outside the freezer and dumped it on a worktop at a food prepping station. Ah, one more thing. I darted back in and found a loaf of bread.
Gas ticked over. A lamp clicked inside an oven. I pulled open the door and slid the plate carrier, bandolier, and chemlights in and let the cool air take away the chill. Once warmed, I removed the gear from the oven and laid the frozen loaf on the shelf. Metal jangled against metal. I snapped upright and swung in the direction of the noise. "Lilli…" I patted at the oven dials and snapped them up to zero. "Kill the lights in this compartment." Sharp snaps ran through the kitchen as the lights turned off. It thinks darkness is its ally. I snapped the goggles to the mount on the ceramite. The four tubes swung over my eyes. I twisted a dial and the blackness turned a bright, pale grey. Looping the bandolier around my chest, I took slow steps in to an adjoining kitchen with a view over an empty mess hall still decorated with floor-to-ceiling banners displaying the Inquisition's sigil.
A row of pots swung very gently from their hooks. I switched to the goggle's infra-red illumination setting and panned around the kitchen and mess hall. The light rode across knives protruding from a wooden block sitting atop a prepping station. I edged closer and swept the kitchen surfaces. Tocha held out in front of me, I stooped. My goggles touched the tiles.
Skin shone. Bare feet, turned slightly inwards, faced me from the far side of a cooker. Hairs sprang up on my arms and prickled my nape. I snapped my eyes shut and counted to five. The feet remained. I eased my head up and curled my free hand around the Tocha's slide. Thuds quickened in my chest. I drew air in to my lungs, held, then let it all out. My thumb snapped the Tocha's safety across. I swung upright and pointed the bore across the cooker's surface.
Playing with me. I kept the Tocha shouldered and backed up to the bulkhead separating the two areas. Come and go as you please, do you? I wheeled and moved in a slow arc around the opening before darting back to the lukewarm cooker. You must have some physical presence. What the hell did I drag back in from the vacuum, then? Plates flopped over my shoulder. One arm cradling the bread block, I performed a slow sweep of the kitchen and made for the exit. "Open up, Lilli." I caught sight of towels still in their plastic bags packing out a shelf. "Lock every door, seal every bulkhead behind me." I swiped a bag and bit through the plastic. A nearby cabinet held empty glass bottles. She's barefoot.
Fat glass shards slipped from my hand and tinkled on the floor. I flicked my wrist and sent the last few flying before bolting through the closing bulkhead doors to the tram platform. "Lilli, send it." I put my back to the platform edge and crouched. The loose plate carrier and loaf hit the floor. Headlights cast white light over my shoulder. I powered the tubes down and raised them.
"Now might be a good time to find your tongue, Lilli." I gathered my gear and backed in to the twin cars. "Nothing to say…?" My ceramite thunked on a seat. "Take me to Shesmet." I pulled the plate carrier on and fastened the front and rear halves together. The tram floor rocked beneath my knees. Lights streaked past the windows. I draped the full bandolier across my chest and slipped chemlights through the plate carrier's equipment loops. A yellow shell worked free and bounced off my thigh. I picked it up and turned the untouched primer upwards. A little star marked the casing.
Metal screeched. Alloy smacked the back of my head. Plunged in to darkness, I brought a limp hand over my face and ran my fingers back through my hair and around to a burning patch beneath my crown. Bangs rattled the roof of the stationary cars. I flung an arm up and spread my fingers. My fumbling hand closed around the Tocha's body and slid it off the seats it lay across. Buttpad braced on the floor, I pointed the Tocha's bore at the roof. My yammering heart flared inside my chest. Jaw quivering, I filled my lungs, held, and let warm air seep through my gritted teeth.
The tram lurched in to motion. Overhead, the lights flickered back on. I twisted my upper body and climbed on to a seat. "…Aagh." A tender lump bulged beneath my hair. I leaned down and plucked the lone shell from where it had rolled beneath the opposite bench. Minutes later, the tram slowed and came to a stop at the platform leading down to the chapel. Ceramite pressing against the bruise, I held by the door. "Lilli, lights." I snapped the quad tubes over my eyes. In darkness, I disembarked and swung the Tocha at the tram's roof. Something's wrong here. IR light blazed around the empty tunnel. I crossed the platform and trotted down the stairs. Not a chance this is Lilli's doing. I reached the foot of the stairs and hurried between fat pillars supporting a low ceiling. Two bright pinpricks caught the IR light. I dropped the loaf and slunk around the far side of the pillar. Tocha in one hand, I lunged around the pillar, seized an arm and twisted it.
"Agh!"
"Lili, lights!" I stood the Tocha upright and shoved a body face-first in to the pillar.
"James…" Shesmet's cheek pressed against the smooth stone. "You're hurting me."
My fingers slackened. "What the fuck are you doing here?" I killed the tubes and swiped them out of my eyes. "I told you to stay in the chapel."
"Where—?" Shesmet winced and clutched her bent arm to her chest. "Where is she?"
"I was hoping you could tell me that." I headed around the pillar and brought the loaf over. "For the hangover."
"Oh, thank you." Shesmet's brow furrowed and her nose wrinkled. She brushed dirt from the half-frozen loaf. "You should not have risked your life."
"Risk…?" I picked up the Tocha. "Odd how only I saw or heard the phantom of Izuru Numerial. It's like she was there every second after I left you."
"Why not ask your construct? Or is the all-seeing eye shy her tongue?"
"Lilli, where is she?" My eyes jumped to the ceiling.
"Oh, James…" A whimpering voice crackled over the intercom. "She's right there!"
Shesmet's hand touched my shoulder and slid down my arm. A grin split her lips and she slunk out from between the pillar and me. The loaf thudded upon the floor.
"Ohh, I see." My eyes followed Shesmet out in to a gap between the pillars. "Richard Sorge would have liked you, admired your performance. He went to great lengths keeping up a pretence too." I eased the Tocha's slide back and glanced down at the rubber slug in the chamber. "He also lied." I stepped out in to the open space and faced Shesmet down.
"Oh, James. Every word I said you lapped up like a good hound." A broad smirk stretched Shesmet's lips. "Even comatose, she still has hold of your lead."
"She has two sons. You have a son."
"I don't care. You came to me. You brought me a ship." Shesmet spread her arms. "Finally, I can be free."
"Your master kept you there, did he? Just like you kept Zeleska?"
"DON'T!" Shesmet's fingers curled in to fists. "Say his name."
"You are hurt, Shesmet. The pain of isolation and buried trauma can only be met with patience and empathy. I have been surrounded by the walls that trap you. I know what it feels like to be abandoned by all."
"It's too late." Shesmet shook her head. Her fists dropped to her sides. "They found me—those that dwell in the Immaterium. Can you hear their voices?" Shesmet raised a finger and looked up at the ceiling. "They came to Solemnace years ago. They stood me up and made me strong. They want this as much as I do."
"Shesmet, they are liars and tricksters out for no-one's gain but their own. They will abandon you as a physical avatar once they've had their way with you. I will not."
"You had your own way, though didn't you? Was it the same with Lusia? Look where that led her."
My throat tightened. A twitch turned my neck. "Don't you say her name…"
"Dare? I needn't. Mellenova is mine."
I whipped the Tocha up and pressed my cheek to the stock. "Ma'am, for your safety I am going to have to ask you to stand down."
"My safety…? And what could a mortal man and a slug-thrower accomplish against me?"
"You have no idea…" I tilted the Tocha's bore down. "Lilli, gas!"
"I'm sorry, James. There's nothing I can do."
"—What?"
"I have lost control."
"How do we stop it?" I brought the Tocha back up and curled my finger around the trigger.
"You can't." Shesmet took a step backwards. "Walk at my shoulder or in my wake. Stand before me and you will know more about me than you ever wished to."
"Lilli, what's she done? How do we stop this?" I removed my finger from the Tocha's trigger.
"At my shoulder or in my wake." Shesmet's feet carried her backwards. At the far end of the hall, the lights started to go out. "I know where Izuru is," she said, a little grin tugging at her lips. Darkness flew towards me. I shrunk backwards, bolted through the pillars and leaped up the stairs.
"Lilli, where's Izuru?"
"Right where you left her—ugh, those horrid spider constructs fed worms in to my infrastructure. That's why I've been silent for so long!"
"Well, you'd know all about that, wouldn't you?" I rushed across the platform and leaned over the edge. "Lilli, I don't wanna be here."
"…Sorry! I've had to clone myself. It's self-replicating far faster than the Absolver's program. If I concentrate on one area, it—"
"—Lilli, I don't wanna fuckin' be here!"I swung the Tocha at the unlit stairs. The bulbs around me flickered and died. "Shit." I swiped the tubes over my eyes.
"Hang on, James. Give me a minute."
"Less would be better." I rounded a square pillar and pressed my back against it. Warm hands clutched the Tocha against my chest. Played me for a right fool, Shesmet. Silk rasped and flowed on to the platform. How did it break free from the Immaterium and find you here? We're not even in the Warp.
"Come out, James." Low, guttural voices rasped over each other. "You cannot hide."
Tocha braced at my shoulder, I broke away from the pillar. IR light bathed a slim, naked figure swathed in a long cloak, hovering feet above the platform. Two pairs of curving horns sprouted from the sides of Shesmet's head. This time, she wore no headdress. Nostrils slanted and uneven ridges covered her hairless crown. Oh, Titus. Nails pierced my heart. I am so sorry.
"You take arms to me? Is my crime so severe it demands such deadly riposte?"
"Negligence of your offspring. Shunning your responsibility, your duty of care. Had you none for your son?" I growled.
"Why don't you ask Izuru that?"
"Her plight is no concern of yours." A low groan flew along the tunnel.
"Her tone will be one of apathy. I feel her presence in my domain strengthening. She has heard our call." White light grew brighter to my right. "You hear it too."
"Many voices spoke to me—not just hers."
"Then join us. You will be together forever." The tram coasted to a stop behind Shesmet. Doors slid open. "Resist me and perish. Kneel and join our covenant."
"I will grant you passage aboard Mellenova until we are free from the Immaterium. From there, you will strike your own path in your own vessel. You will be alone, something you have striven so hard to avoid."
"Lay down your weapons." Many voices trickled inside my ears.
Axe and Tocha hit the floor. "I will swear myself to you, Lady Shesmet," I said, empty-handed. "But if my knee should fall to that deck, it will be of my own free will."
"You will kneel eagerly and readily at my command. Disobey and die."
"You could have killed me at any point after you followed me aboard. You want an ally, an equal, not a slave."
"No mortal may stand my equal. If it is challenge you seek—"
"—Challenge? I need not lift a finger." The tram doors closed around a small section of Shesmet's cloak. "Farewell, my dear."
Shesmet flew off the platform, her cloak taut around her neck. Her fading shrieks echoed along the tunnel in the wake of the howling tram cars. I scooped up the Tocha and axe and dashed down the stairs. "As far aft as it can go, Lilli. Don't stop that tram for anything."
"I'm sorry I could not help you out sooner, James. It hurt me seeing you acting out of sorts after you left the chapel."
"You weren't seeing what I was seeing, right?" I jumped the last three steps and careered through the pillars.
"I'm not sure shouting to you would have broken the spell."
"Never mind—you worry about your systems..." The glass shards I had left earlier crunched beneath my shoes. "…I'll worry about Shesmet."
"She isn't Shesmet anymore, is she?"
"No, Lilli. She's gone." My stomach flipped. She was Titus's only hope at a normal life.
Unsealed bulkheads and lit corridors left a trail leading back to the kitchen units. Tocha slung across my back, I balanced on a stool and hoisted a full bucket of flour on to the ajar bulkhead door to the kitchen.
"Why not water, James?"
"Harder for her to hide covered in flour." I hopped down and dragged the stool away from the door. Four pots stood on an active hob nearby, their lids trembling. Chill air flowed from the open freezer. Lowered shutters blocked out the view of the mess hall. "C'mon, Lilli, you're my eyes aboard…" My forefinger hovered over hob switches on the cooker. "Where is she?"
"At the moment, sensory deprivation extends to all display hardware aboard. The Inquisition fitted feed-capts in every corridor, every hangar, every cabin aboard Mellenova. I have access to none of them."
"Single sentences, please…" I unslung the Tocha and squatted behind a wheeled rack holding baking trays. The fat slide slid backwards and a rubber slug flew from the bore. I racked the action thrice and stuffed the loose cartridges in to my trouser pockets.
"You're going to kill her, aren't you?"
I pulled a red 3-inch slug from my pocket and slotted it through the Tocha's loading gate. "If she is clever, she will abandon the hunt and go to Izuru." Two more slugs filled out the Tocha's magazine. "Giving her power over me." I dug out the star-marked cartridge. Lucky star? I cleared the 3-inch slug from the chamber and dropped the star cartridge on to the Tocha's lifter. The loose slug then topped off the magazine.
"You seem to have a knack of making people lose rational thought around you—I think she's positively livid."
"Aye…" I stretched out my legs and laid the Tocha across my thighs. "I made many enemies down in the hive—comes with being a gang's enforcer. I s'pose it's the price of standing for something, really. Don't expect to make moves to better your lot without your rivals doin' the same. Cutthroat."
"When you look up at a Space Marine or a Warp-thing, do you care what they might do to you?"
A tut escaped my lips. "I have long since consigned the mirage of paradise at the end of the path I tread to dust—it's what I do along the way that matters. My failure with Lusia, with Shesmet, with Titus will stir my sleep in to a most uncomfortable affair. Tearful reunion between mother and sons will not bring dawn's light for me… though it may ease the wee hours where dreams and reality lose themselves in each other's bosom."
A vertical green beam cut along the metallic surface coating the freezer's walls. I planted the Tocha's butt on the kitchen floor and brought my feet under me. The beam rode the wall until it hit the other side of the tray rack. I laid my palm on the underside of a tray, pushed upwards, and slid it out. Corners held tightly in my hands, the mirror surface edged outwards. A six-legged beetle with glowing green eyes hovered by the kitchen door. It pivoted and the beam passed over the boiling pots. I withdrew the tray and eased it back in its slot. So, she was clever after all. My fingers touched the leather cover holding the axe and popped the strap free.
Legs curling, the humming beetle hovered around the kitchen. Body hunched over, axe held low, I crept along behind tables and cookers in a gradual circuit, behind the panning laser. A chitter sliced through the noise of the bubbling pots. Five feet away from the beetle, I froze. Many eyes, embedded in the smooth face, whipped around and blazed at me. I lunged, flung the axe above my head, and rammed the blade in to the beetle's body. Chitin shattered. Sparks spat from naked circuits. The beetle's eyes flickered and the body sank to the floor. Legs spasming, the beetle rolled on its back. My axe rose and fell. Sharp snaps and crunches split the noise from the bubbling pans. Crushed, metallic fragments and greenish shards spread beneath my foot. My sore arm dropped. Thin smoke curled from the beetle's innards.
A bucket banged on the tiles. I fell to my knees and scooted behind a double-stacked oven. Tocha wedged between my thighs, my trembling fingers gripped the axe head and slid the haft back in its scabbard. Plastic scraped across stone. The empty bucket rolled past me and hit the wall. I twisted my neck. Cheek pressed to the oven, my eye cleared the corner. Thin trails of flower disappeared in to pale-grey haze. Chill air, drifting from the open freezer, caught my bare arms. White streams left my nostrils. One hand flat on the tiles, the other gripping the Tocha's body, I crossed the open space to an adjacent row of ovens, pressed my back against them, and rose. Tocha cradled against my chest, I brought the stock to my shoulder and swung the bore around the corner.
A thin, white hand wrenched the Tocha from my fingers and rammed the butt at me. Rubber smacked my nose. One eye screwed shut, I wheeled away from a blurry figure caked in flour and flew along the rows of ovens, bent double, feet skidding over the tiles. A jerk behind my navel, and my night-vision goggles hit an oven door. Knees and elbows ground against the floor. Fingers seized my shoe and hauled me backwards. Arms flailing, I rolled on my side and ripped the axe free from its sheath. The head whipped at my shoe. A guttural screech tore through my ears.
Pots rattled above my head. I lunged at a handle and launched boiling water at the flour-coated ghost. Shrieks split the air. Clawed hands flew to its face. Steam poured from its writhing body. My hands closed around the empty pot's handle, brought it over my shoulder, and swung. Bone caved inwards. Bright red flour splattered across a worktop. The pot fell from my fingers and I dived beneath a table and crawled through to the next row. Legs upended and metal crashed against the tiles behind me. Bellying forwards, I scooted around the corner on my hands and knees. Metal jangled. Knives zinged against the wall. Steaming water trickled between the tiles. Hoarse moans approached. I lurched around the corner and skidded over the wet floor and dived at the Tocha.
Bright red horns cut through the haze. Pink flour dribbled from clawed fingers. With a screech, the ghost soared towards me. Rubber punched my shoulder. Bells rang in my ears. Jaw slackening, I laid the Tocha down and brought my trembling hands to my ears. Make it stop. Make it stop. I hunched my shoulders and laid my chin on my breast. Water soaked through the knees on my trousers. Tears poured from my screwed-up eyes. Lips drawn back, I pattered at an oven door handle and dragged myself up.
Water splashed in a dry sink. I scooped a handful, flung it in my face, and threw my head back and howled at the ceiling. Oh, God no… I clapped my hands next to my ears. My stomach dug in to the sink's hard edge. A white figure lay on its front on the tiles ten feet away. Fingers and thumb dug in to my aching temples. I collapsed to my knees and dragged the Tocha over. The star-marked shell spilled from the chamber. God-Emperor. I plunged the Tocha's butt on the tiles and hobbled over to the Warp-thing. Bloody flour clogged its broken nose. I twisted and eyed the open freezer door.
Flaky, white trails stained the floor on the way in to the freezer. Hands tight beneath the Warp-thing's armpits, I dragged it inside and laid it on its back between brown paper sacks stacked on palettes. A palm-sized bruise blackened its bare stomach. I turned away and laid my fingers on to my swelling nose. Bright red liquid shone on my fingertips. I jerked my hand away and twisted my right arm. A four-inch-long cut poured blood. I clamped the Tocha beneath one arm and seized the other. A gurgle escaped the Warp-thing's throat. I crouched beside it, rolled it on its side, bent a knee, and slipped a hand beneath its cheek.
Out in the warm, flour-covered kitchen, I upended a first-aid box on a work surface and plucked a packeted dressing from the spreading pile. My teeth tore through the plastic. I wound the dressing around my arm, knotted it, bit in to the loose end and pulled. Pieces of cotton wool I balled up and stuffed in my ears.
Table legs juddered across the floor. I dug my shoulder in to the edge and heaved it beneath the freezer door's handle. Food sacks piled upon the table's surface. Not a chance it's getting out of there. I snapped the hob dials up to zero and removed the untouched pots. Sorry, Lilli, bit of a mess here. My sticky fingertips plucked a cartridge from my bandolier. The thing slipped, bounced on the tiles, and rolled away in to a tiny gap beneath a refrigeration unit. I picked a second cartridge out, upended the Tocha, and fed the cartridge through the loading gate. On the way out of the kitchen, my shuffling feet left faint pink prints in the flour.
Teeth parted and doors slid outwards. Spots crawling around in my vision, I unslung the Tocha. Lights flickered on at intervals. Pods lined the bulkheads. A pale-skinned, dark-haired being lay inside the nearest. I stumped over to the chair beside the pod and nudged it back. Screens and keypads crowded the pod's exterior. I pinched the bridge of my nose and ran my finger over the keyboard connected to the pod's front-end functions. Disengage. Air spat from the pod's canopy. It juddered upwards and slid open. I retreated back to the chair and laid the Tocha across my knees. Let's see what wears your face.
Saliva leaked from my open mouth. My chin nestled on the upper edge of my plate carrier. A faint rumbling reached my ears. Head pounding, I lurched upright and snapped the Tocha's stock against my shoulder. Bright blue lights blazed in the open doorway.
"James!" Lilli's faint voice came from a servo-skull. "I've been trying to contact you for hours!"
"Hours?" I lowered the Tocha and pattered at my ear. "What time is—?" A jagged crack split the face of my chrono.
"Where is Shesmet?" Lilli's skull zipped in to the medbay. "Oh…" Her eyes fixed on Izuru.
"Cooling off." I got up and squeezed my swollen nostrils. Dried blood clogged the passages. "Status?"
"We are away. I emptied our supply of Plasmaheads in to an atmospheric shield encircling the planet—blasted us a path free. I had no idea the Warp had swallowed Solemnace."
"Yes, yes, what about those constructs of hers—they're down in the core."
"Fixed, all fixed. I was worried about sabotage—I never thought Shesmet would try and take—"
"—Take Mellenova for herself, yes." I pinched my ceramite's release buckle and dumped the cover on the chair. "That worm in your…"
"My multiplication was better."
"Good…"
"Where is Shesmet? Is that blood on you…?"
"Mine, some of hers. She was foolish in chasing me. Had she thought to herself for a second, she would have come here or, God-Emperor forbidding, next door."
"What is next door?"
"Our 1 megaton calling card." I set the Tocha's safety and slung it bore-down. "Now that I've thought about it, I wish I had left more than empty bottles down there. Could've wiped that freak's carnival clean off that turd of a planet." I cupped a hand around Lilli's skull. "You were very brave."
"James!" Lilli's eyes brightened. Flesh smacked the deck behind me. I whirled and unslung the Tocha. My thumb snapped the safety across. Izuru Numerial, eyes tight shut, crawled out from around the open pod. Sticky gel fragments clung to her hair and her ragged pressure suit.
"Alright, fetch us some wheels—make it a comfy ride." I spread my feet and advanced on Izuru. The Tocha's front sight bead hovered over her gummed-up eyes. Not going to make it easy for me, are you? I tilted the Tocha's bore upward and sat the buttpad on the floor. My hand settled on Izuru's shoulder. Hurry up, Lilli. Izuru rolled on to her other shoulder and lifted a shaking arm. Limp fingers brushed the stubble sprouting on my cheek. I took her wrist and turned her hand in to the light. Thumb and forefinger ended in stumps.
Bright blue rounded the corner and a hover-gurney cut in to the medbay. A jack coming from the block at the rear connected Lilli's skull to the gurney's processor. I slung the Tocha and worked my hands around Izuru's waist and beneath her legs. The gurney bobbed gently beneath her. I put a finger to my lips and waved Lilli out of the medbay. Under my direction, Lilli took Izuru around the corner and in to another long chamber filled with single-occupant beds beneath a vaulted ceiling. Beside the nearest bed, Lilli detached and I lifted Izuru off the gurney and laid her on the grey covers. Silent, I led Lilli outside the chamber.
"Bring us out of the Warp, quick as you can."
"Is she—?"
"—I wouldn't worry about her."
"Is she going the same way as Shesmet?"
I wrapped my hand around Lilli's skull. "Two Warp things in one day…? That wouldn't do now, would it?" A grin flitted across my face.
"Mm, okay."
"You've a keen eye and a steady helm. You're all that's keeping us going, Lilli."
"Watch her." Lilli's eyes dimmed. "Don't let things fall to violence again." She spun and drifted away.
Alone in the quiet wing with Izuru, I fluffed up a pillow and slipped my hand behind her head. Fingers sifted through greasy hair. Izuru tilted her head forward. "It's you." Soft cotton closed around Izuru's head. I nudged the gurney away from a cabinet filled with Inquisition-branded mugs and picked one out and ran it beneath a tap above a tiny sink beside Izuru's bed. Soft hand towels soaked up water. I brought a knee up on to the mattress and rubbed the gel away from Izuru's eyes. "You're hurt." Her eyelids parted. I lurched away from Izuru and fixed my eyes on the floor. "James?"
In the corner of my eye, Izuru sat upright. Spread fingers ran across the bedsheets. Dull eyes stared away in to space. Frowning, I cocked my head and inched closer. One hand resting on my sheathed axe, I stuck my arm out and waved my other hand up and down just in front of Izuru's nose. Her eyes remained open. "Your silence tears at my heart. Do not turn me away. Not now."
I backed away and headed in to a nearby utility room filled with stacked shelves. In to a bucket, I swiped the shelves' contents. At the very bottom of the pile, I picked out a tiny torch, no wider than my finger. Izuru remained upright, frozen and staring at the far wall. I perched next to her and twisted the torch's body. White light shone in Izuru's unblinking eyes.
"Talk to me…" Izuru hunched her shoulders. Deep lines cut across her forehead. "…Please." Bright beads leaked from the corners of her eyes. "Be angry, be distraught, be callous if you must…"
I sunk in to the chair and stretched a leg out. My eyes roved away across the floor. "I am tranquil."
Izuru stifled a choke. She squeezed her eyes shut and wide tracts crept down her cheeks. Spasms seized her chest. Mucus clung to her upper lip. I dipped my hand in the bucket and passed Izuru a box of tissues. "I am a stranger."
Scrunched-up tissues surrounded Izuru. Pink ringed her eyes. "Alone, without companion, it is a stranger in whom I place my trust." Izuru clapped her hand over her mouth and let out a loud hiccup. "I can—I can do no worse."
Head sunken in my fist, I nudged the full bucket over with my toe and reached down to the handle. Dressings, torniquets, gloves, masks, thermometers, boxed medication and manual resuscitators spilled on to the next bed along. I slid my thumb nail through the sealing tape on a packet of painkillers and broke a pair of tablets free from their foil. "You'll remain here, for now." I chugged down water with the tablets. "You'll be fed."
"James, I have so much I need to—"
"—Madam, the blindness, nausea and pain in your muscles are the result of involuntary decompression." I grabbed a clean mug and filled it up. "Rest is mandatory. Recover your faculties."
"…Decompression?"
I placed my hands on my thighs and leaned over Izuru. "You are not yourself. All measures to set you up for a new life with the Zalileans were taken. Now I am told you left a human vessel drenched in their own blood then begged for me to come."
Izuru's chest heaved. "I had no right to—"
"—You spoke my name."
"I had no right to do so." Izuru's grey lips clamped together. She pattered at the empty tissue box. "They would've…"
"Don't use 'em all at once." I flicked an unopened packet at Izuru. "I hope your memory makes a better recovery than your sight." I grabbed the Tocha's bore and tucked the body beneath my arm.
"They would've cut me to pieces."
"They…? By they you mean some working men aboard a processing platform. Not soldiers, not psychopaths, not Zeke. Fathers, sons, honest men making their living. Can't all be Imperial Guardsmen or Rangers. Can't all hold the gun." My eyes lingered on Izuru's maimed hand. "You'll not be holding any gun ever again. I hoped you'd have taken that in to account by now. That'll decide your future, not me." I strode off. Spluttering sobs followed me along the corridor.
A pair of prosthetic legs protruded from military boots standing beside a pod. Got some Diamantine-strength rocks dangling there, old man. I thumped the side of my fist on the canopy above Estoc. You'll be the one to decide the time and place of departure, no-one else. I unhooked a receiver from a bracket on the bulkhead nearby. "Lilli, sitrep."
"Still Warpside."
"Barriers?"
"Ninety-nine point nine per cent—"
"—Yes, yes, I see. Lilli, I have Shesmet under lock and key—I have control. Disengage drives and put us back in realspace."
"Are you giving me an order?"
"I would never give you an order—a ship's captain, be they lieutenant or commander, always has an executive officer at their back. Each supports the other. Shesmet is neutralised, Izuru recuperating. It's your turn."
"Very well. Beginning re-entry."
"Thank you, Lilli." I hung the receiver up. Still no closer to the Ynnari.
Inside a dimly-lit bathroom painted a dull green, I leaned over a sink beneath a mirror and felt along the swollen bridge on my nose. Thick, bloody mucus rasped in my nostrils. Dried blood trails ran down my right arm.
You're a record on repeat, James. A shadow in navy grey loomed in the corner of the mirror. The ringing in your ears is the clanking of chains binding you to her. Warm water flowed over my hands and turned a faint pink. I cupped a handful and splashed it on my nose. You will never be free.
Two steaming bowls balanced upon a book held in my arms. Sobbing gently, Izuru lay against her pillows with one knee up. Her head twitched and she dragged the back of her hand beneath her nose and sniffed. Crumpled tissues dotted the bedcovers.
"Makes a change from what I normally eat." I kneeled at the bedside table and eased a bowl on to it. "Got so much food now, I don't know what to do with it."
"What do you normally eat?" Izuru's hand brushed the bowl. "—Oh!"
"Hot." I dragged the chair up and shrugged a small satchel from my shoulder. "Matter. Recycled matter." My soup balanced upon the book in my lap.
"How?"
"With faith." I dipped my spoon in. "And great helpings of salt."
"Ooh." Izuru lifted the bowl on to the bedcovers and dipped her head. "Vegetable?"
"Liquids only. I'd wait 'til it's cool." I swirled the thick, yellowish liquid around with my spoon. "What I do know about the past six years is far eclipsed by what I don't, and I reserve my judgment on it. What I need to know is—"
"—I have no idea where the Ynnari are—"
"—Don't interrupt me. The question of the Ynnari takes second stage to your family's whereabouts."
"Um… the last I knew, my bondmate sailed with them." Izuru cocked her head and rubbed at her neck. "He spoke of a familiar place though, a place of great significance to the Culcassians."
"I've never heard of the Culcassians." I dipped my spoon and blew.
"My bondmate's name. His family owns a dwelling on the ice world Lirithion."
"And what significance is it to the Lady Numerial?" I sipped from my dripping spoon.
"Lirithion was where I found out I was pregnant."
"Of great significance, then."
"The highest and the lowest point of my life." Izuru's lips puckered. She ground the base of her palm in one eye. "You know, sometimes I wish I had never given birth to Illic and Korsarro, just to save them from the pain I've put them through."
"You were young, you were a different person—that's fifty, sixty years ago?"
"Sixty-eight." Izuru ran her fingers around the bowl and picked up her spoon. "I am still young."
"If they're there on Lirithion, they'll be with their father."
"They won't be."
"Then why mention it?"
"It's all I have!" Ridges ran along Izuru's forehead. "He never told me more than what he wanted me to know."
"Your soup'll be pleasant to the tongue, now." My spoon clinked on the bottom of the bowl. "I hope you prefer vegetable to meat." I set my empty bowl aside and laid the book on my knee.
"Oh, er…" Izuru lifted the bowl to her chin and sniffed. "Mm… mm, it's good. No, no, I'm not one of those tree-hugging enviros from Craftworld Sheir'ul cavorting around their forest effigies. I've enjoyed steak in the past."
"Ohh, as have I but I cannot remember when last I picked tender, red meat from my teeth." My fingertips pattered my thigh. "Medium-rare."
"Bloody."
"Hmph." I flicked the book's hard cover open. "I have on my knee an article of great significance to you."
"…Please." Izuru stretched her arm out. Her eyebrows steepled. "Please."
"These stories must be read to your children. Remind them what it feels like to fall asleep to a bedtime story."
"Please. I have nothing else but the clothes on my back."
"Lirithion." I stood up and pushed the book at Izuru. "Sector, sub-sector, system. In your own time."
"Uhh…" Izuru brought her hand to her forehead. "The Channu system, though it may not be known as such to you."
"Channu…"
"Seven planets, the fifth furthest from the local star—a blue star."
"Blue star." I dropped the book at the foot of the bed then swung the satchel up on to the chair and unzipped the neck. "Emergencies only." A handheld vox bounced on the bedcovers. An identical unit sat inside a pouch on my plate carrier. "Power switch is on top."
"Oh…" Izuru's hand closed around the vox. "I—I can help if you need—"
"—Ma'am, enjoy your meal." I gripped the corners of the hover gurney and walked it backwards. "Lights out at ten." Without a backwards glance, I steered the gurney outside and headed for the nearest intercom. "Lirithion, Lilli. Channu system."
"No such system exists in my database."
"Must be the Eldar name for it. Would you run a search on systems with seven planets and a blue star, for me?"
"Very well."
"Any remarks on our re-entry?"
"None, but we are further away from the Granada system than we were before our blind jump."
"Are we alone?"
"Nothing on long-range."
"Forget Granada. Our mission is now Lirithion. Thank you, Lilli." I replaced the receiver and swiped my sleeve back from my chrono. The dead screen stared up at me. Oh well, time for the admin.
Ticking numerals on my bedside chrono hit 22:00. The lights shining down on my bunk dimmed. I set my juice carton down and slapped the manual override on the low ceiling above me, bringing the light back. My notebook lay open. Both pages were untouched.
"Are you awake, James?" Lilli's spoke over the intercom. "I think I've found Lirithion."
"Oh?" I squeezed the last few drops from my carton.
"You know the planet as Wormauld."
"Wormauld…?" I pinched the plaster stuck to the bridge of my nose. "And that's number five, is it?"
"Seven planets, blue star, estimated eighty-four-hour jump. Warp current dependant, of course."
"Wormauld…" I swung my legs over the bunk's edge. "How's our guest?"
"Why don't you ask her yourself?"
My eyes flickered over to the plate carrier lying on the floor. "Shesmet, Lilli."
"Oh, oh, I don't know."
I lunged for a t-shirt and dragged the neck over my head. "You'd better be pulling my leg…"
"I wouldn't know how to reply to that."
"I left her out cold in frozen."
"She's alive?"
"Yeah." Plates smacked my chest. "Six or seven hours ago." I drew the plate carrier's straps tight.
"Fine. If she's sealed in, leave her be."
"No, I've got a better idea." I bundled the Tocha and axe in my arms and left the cabin. "Are there any zero-G facilities aboard?"
Fingers gripping the edges of the hover-gurney, I steered it in to the destroyed kitchen. My bare feet left wet, floury prints on the soaked tiles. Shit, is the gas still on? I darted over to the emergency shut-off and twisted it. The table remained wedged beneath the freezer's door handle. I set my jaw and dug my fingers beneath the edge.
Tocha in one hand, I tugged the door handle. Rubber unstuck and a gap appeared. I slid the Tocha's bore through the gap and widened it with my foot. God-Emperor. Grey-skinned, blue-lipped, Shesmet lay on her side between the brown sacks. Did I lock her in like that? I grabbed a fire blanket from a shelf in the kitchen and rushed inside the freezer. My thumb pressed against the inside of Shesmet's wrist. Hang on, Shesmet.
Outside the freezer, I laid Shesmet down on the gurney and slung the Tocha around my back. "Lilli, come in. I'm down near frozen."
Bright lights sliced through the kitchen. "I know." A servo-skull flew between cookers.
"Change of plan—I need a pod prepped as soon as."
"James, this thing tried to kill you."
"Lilli, that was the Warp—you saw me hallucinating!"
"She wanted Mellenova for herself!"
"I KNOW SHESMET!" I dug my shoulder in to the gurney. "She has a son, Lilli!"
"And she made a complete fool out of you on Solemnace—filling your head with lies."
"Lies?" A corner bumped in to the doorframe. "You know what, most of it was even true." I backed the gurney up and pushed it out of the kitchen. "Perhaps even the Inquisitor cutting her newborn from her womb—who knows?"
"You're trying to be like him now. Reading up on his files, wearing his clothes, his face." Lilli's skull flew over to the gurney's ports and jacked in. Her eyes dimmed to yellow. "I will not allow you to jeopardise this voyage any further than you already have. I would prefer that you remain in your cabin or in the company of Izuru. Contact me in an emergency only. Thank you, James." Lilli took the gurney away under her own power. Arms dead at my sides, I stared at the departing gurney. The micro-vox on my plate carrier chirped.
"I'm here if you want to talk," Izuru's soft voice reached me. "I'll listen."
I snapped the vox's power switch to Off. White prints trailing me, I wandered Mellenova. Stone snakes reared above my head. The Serpent Suite? My palm touched the pad and I stepped through the dilating portal. Lights flickered on in the empty suite. A recorder and cassette tape lay on the table between the two couches. Black pen marked the case – Izuru. I tossed the Tocha on the opposite couch and sunk in to the leather.
"James, I've secured our guest. Shall I let you know when she awakens?"
I swivelled the recorder around and fed the tape in to the slot. The gate clicked shut. A wheedling came from the rotating wheels. I pressed the stop button and rewound the tape. My chin sunk in to my fist.
"…I watched you leave in fair company—" I jumped the recording further forwards and pressed Play. "—cannot let go of your wrathful intent upon the galaxy, this bloody cycle you perpetuated will remain with you until your gods accept your cold body. Here, now, your future depends entirely upon your capacity to progress beyond your savage instincts—" The tape froze. Head sunken, I shoved the recorder away and peeled open my vox pouch. My thumb and forefinger snicked the power switch to Active. Throat dry, I held the micro-vox up to my mouth. Very soft breathing came from over the net.
"I have something I need to say…" I wet my lips. "From hereon, every day, twice a day for five minutes, practise inhaling, holding, then exhaling. Helps out with stress." I bit the nail on my little finger. "I've not thought about you once in the past six years. I was so certain you'd taken that step forward—you'd grown as a person and become better than a butcher." I jerked the micro-vox away from my mouth and tapped it against the side of my head. "I… I can't do this anymore." A fist seized my throat and squeezed. "You can go home to your family, to Illic, Korsarro and your husband. You can do this now because you have something that only a mother has. You have the ability to save your sons." Mucus snorted in my nostrils. "You can go home now." My jaw quivered. Whimpers distorted the net. "Please go home." I dropped the micro-vox beside me and let my head fall in to my hands. Fingers uncurled and drove upwards over my crown. Great, heaving gasps surfaced. Tiny drops fell in to my lap.