Prompt: Can you do a fanfic where Kensi is finally ready to ask Deeks on a date, but chickens out at the last minute (obviously pre-Densi)
A/N: Set sometime after "Unwritten Rule", but before "Recovery".
Kensi checked her reflection in the small mirror above the sink in the women's bathroom. Her hair hung in loose curls around her shoulders and her cheeks bore the slightest hint of blush. She'd considered lipstick, but that seemed just a little too much. The blouse in a teal blue Deeks once complimented would have to be enough.
"This is the day, Kensi Blye," she told her reflection. "You're going to ask Deeks to go out with you." A frisson of combined fear and anticipation tightened her stomach at the thought.
This was what she wanted. If Kensi was honest with herself, she'd had feelings for Deeks for years now, though something always seemed to get in their way. First from their own stupidity and fear, then the horrific events last May. Deeks hadn't been in any shape for a relationship, so she'd taken a step back and supported him instead.
Finally, finally, everything was in place. Deeks was back to himself for the most part and they'd found that perfect balance of flirty, teasing, and competitive. It was the perfect time to make her move.
Hence the slightly too dressy attire for a regular Tuesday and why she'd arrived at work an hour and a half early.
In the last few weeks, Deeks had started working out before everyone else arrived. Based on her calculations, he should just be leaving the locker room in a few minutes. An image of Deeks, wet, soapy, and naked, briefly filled her mind, and she shivered.
Yeah, she needed to do something before she jumped Deeks in the middle of the bullpen.
Looking herself in the eye once more, Kensi took a breath for courage, shook her hair back, and spun around before she could find a reason to stall.
As she stepped out into the hall, she caught the back of Deeks' familiar golden curls disappearing around a corner. She waited a few seconds and then followed him.
"Hey, morning partner, you're here early," Deeks said, glancing up briefly from his computer when she walked in.
Kensi's eyes lingered on the tufts of damp hair slowly drying into soft, natural curls. She could imagine how they'd feel beneath her fingers. Actually, she didn't have to imagine. She knew from the undercover case when she'd kissed him, from the dozens of times she'd playfully tweaked a handful of grabbed his hair while sparring.
Forcing her gaze away, Kensi shrugged, even though her heart was beating unsteadily and she felt slightly sick. "Eh, I had some expense reports from last month. You know how terrifying Nell gets about late paperwork."
"Oh, tell me about it." Deeks laughed knowingly. "The tiny ones are always the scariest." He squinted at something on his computer screen. "You know, if you want any help, I'm pretty caught up," he offered.
"Thanks, but um, I actually wanted to ask you something," Kensi began. She threaded her fingers together, standing directly in front of Deeks.
"If it's who took the last crueler, definitely wasn't me," he joked, clearly expecting Kensi to threaten murder or demand compensatory pastry. Instead, she only managed a forced laugh, and squeezed her hands even tighter.
"Are you ok? You're acting kind of strange."
"I'm fine. I just think that takeout might not have been the best idea last night."
"Yeah, a double cheeseburger, fries, and a chocolate malt aren't exactly the best midnight snack," Deeks agreed.
"Ok, enough about my eating habits, Mr. Yummy Yummy Heart Attack," Kensi said, rolling her eyes.
"Sorry." Folding his hands together, Deeks gave her his full attention, the deep blue of his eyes nearly distracting her again. "Please, continue."
"Ok, so a friend of mine was going to go Cabaret, but she had something come up at work. So she gave me the tickets," Kensi explained, just like she'd practiced. She inhaled shallowly. "I thought maybe we could go together."
Deeks stilled, one of his eyebrows arching up. "You mean like a date?"
Kensi opened her mouth, intending to say yes, but something in her froze up. Her pulse raced again, her palms instantly growing sweaty as she imagined everything that could go wrong. A ruined friendship, the end of their partnership. "No, of course not." She forced another laugh, the sound harsh to her own ears. "I just thought you might want to go."
"Oh. Yeah, no, I'd love to," Deeks answered, a tinge of disappointment in his voice. "Sounds fun."
"Right. Well, I better get that paperwork done." Kensi pointed over her shoulder. "And just for the record, you totally owe me a donut."
Deeks grinned, and they were back to the status quo. Turning around, Kensi pressed her lips together, burning with regret and anger at her own cowardice.
A/N: As someone who frequently makes detailed plans or commitments to myself, and then chickens out at last second, I tried to convey that through Kensi.