Manana you scammer

Actually might not be a what-if fic.

"Whop! A unique monster!" Lanz, the party's current leader, said as he found a ginormous Gogol blocking their way.

"What should we do, then?" Sena asked, following up with Lanz.

"Well…it's pretty damn big to ignore…" Lanz shrugged. "Noah, Taion, how do you think? I need more brains on this thing."

"Hmmm….I don't really want to risk it… But this monster is blocking our only way forward… So…I think we have no choice." Noah said.

"I'll have to agree on Noah with this one. But we must not be careless." Taion said, adjusting his glasses.

"Riku agree too." Riku added his short opinion.

"Yes! Manana agree too! And most important, friends had Manana's special battle cuisine this morning! No monster will block friends' way!" Manana chirped, with her eyes sparkling.

"Oh yeah! Manana's battle cuisine! I forgot about that! Then I'll have to agree, too! With Manana's dish and the good effects, we'll be able to nail that thing!" Sena said, flexing her well-toned muscles.

"Then why wait? Let's rumble! You ready, Mio? We need serious aggro management in this one." Lanz said, summoning his blade.

"Ready when you are, Lanz. Sena, you ready too?"

"Yep! I think Manana's dish is starting to take effect on me! My gall is rising!" Sena said, the fire on her head getting stronger.

"Great! Then Eunie, do the honors." Lanz said, gazing at the winger healer.

"Eh? Why me?"

"Since you're good at annoying people?" Lanz smirked.

"Hey, that's rude! Well…anyways…ready?" Eunie said, summoning her staff and engaging gun mode.

"Definitely!"

"Okay… Haaaaahh….!"

"YOU WILL KNOW OUR NAMES, YOU SPARKING BITCH!" Eunie shouted, shooting like a madwoman with her gunrod.

"Nice one! Now let's rumble!" Lanz said, also engaging machine gun mode.

"Yippee!"

The Ouroboros and the two nopons engaged in combat with the unique monster like that. They had extra confident today, since they had Manana's special cooking with the new ingredient they got their hands on. Especially, Sena seemed pretty excited with the gall.

But.

Little.

Did.

They Know.

"Okay, why are we getting sparking owned?" Lanz exclaimed, struggling to block the monster's attack.

"Hah….hah…I'm…out of….gall energy…." Sena panted, as she struggled to lift her massive hammer up.

"Everyone, keep calm! Eunie, manage with their stamina, they need hel… Sparks! Now the aggro's on me!" Noah groaned, starting to run.

"I'll try to get the aggro with me! Eunie, help them!" Mio said, running towards the monster.

"Got it! I'll just….GAH!" As soon as Eunie stomped the staff down, she screamed as she got directly hit by the monster's attack.

"Eunie! What the spark is wrong with the thing's aggro!" Noah swore, now running towards Eunie.

"Noah! You move with Mio! I'll get Eunie!" Taion said, his Mondo forming a healing circle.

"Thanks, Taion, you're a lifesav… No! Taion!" Noah shouted as he saw Taion getting another direct hit.

"Sparks! Come on, you sparking monster! I have something for you!" Lanz shouted, trying his best to get the aggro.

"Eunie, Taion, are you okay?" Noah said, kneeling down to the fallen.

"Hah…hah….it hurts….so bad…" Eunie choked out, bleeding out.

"Sorry…I…can't…move right now…."

"Sparks, what should we… Damn it, I'll do it." Noah said to himself, standing up from them.

"No…ah…? What are you…" Eunie tried to ask, but her speech got interrupted by her coughing up blood.

"Mio! Sena! Lanz! Riku! Manana!" Noah shouted out.

"Meh meh?"

"Our healers are down! Let's run for now and try again later! Try all your might to run away from that monster!"

"But Noah….?"

"No buts now, Lanz! They need treatment! Bring Sena too!"

"He's…right…Lanz…I think…I can't…go…further…" Sena said, slowly collapsing down to Lanz.

"Sena! Dammit, okay! Let's run our arses!" Lanz grit his teeth, lifting Sena up. He turned his head around, and saw Mio carrying the two nopons.

"Lanz! I got them! Let's go!" Mio exclaimed.

"Thanks, Mio! You're a lifesaver!"

"Oh yeah, baby!"

"What's that you say?"

"Nothing!"

"Come on, Mio. This isn't the time for joking!"

(After some running)

"Ugh…it still hurts like hell…." Eunie groaned as Taion wrapped a bandage around her belly.

"Sorry, Eunie, but please hold on till my stamina gets recharged. I'll heal you as soon as I get to use my Mondo." Taion said, softly stroking Eunie's belly.

"Hah…thanks...but…ugh….it really hurts though…."

"Okay, why the spark did we lose?" Lanz said, his eyes showing his rage.

"Yeah! We could own this battle! Isn't it, Riku?" Sena joined Lanz.

"Agreed. Especially when we had Manana's cooking effects on us. The effects focused on defense, so we would have a better time with the monster." Riku said, fixing Lanz's blade.

"Hmmm….." Mio hummed.

"Something wrong, Mio?" Noah asked, managing his ponytail.

"I was…thinking…about something."

"What is it, Mimi? Spill!" Sena said, untying her hair.

"Okay, so… Raise your hand if you guys felt some changes in your battle condition," Mio said, putting her hand as low as possible.

"My…battle condition…?"

"Did you feel sturdier than before? If I'm right, Lanz, you…seemed to perform worse than yesterday."

"What? I never…."

"I think she's true, Lanz. You…seemed to struggle more with that monster." Sena said.

"Did…I…?"

"Yeah, and…honestly… Me too… I did say that I felt more gall before the battle, but…I was so exhausted in the middle of it." Sena sighed.

"Really….? How about you, Noah?"

"Honestly… I never knew the reason you guys mentioned Manana's cooking as a reason to fight. I thought the fight inevitable, not a fight that we could 100% win." Noah said.

"Really…? I thought you agreed on that term." Sena tilted her head.

"No, I…did not feel any changes on me. The…battle was hard as usual."

"Huh….? Then…how about the healers…?" Sena turned to see Eunie lying on the ground, and Taion taking care of her.

"Can't you see when I'm sparking on the ground, bleeding out from my snuffing belly? That attack just plowed through me like…a hot knife through butter…. Ugh…I almost puked my breakfast there…." Eunie groaned.

"I'm with Eunie, too. Wasn't the dish's effect supposed to be increased defense? I did not feel that effect that time though…."

"Then….did the effect wear out?" Sena scratched her now untied hair.

"We did start our walk today immediately after breakfast. And we found that monster like…5 minutes in?" Noah said.

"Hah…." Taion sighed.

"What is…it….four-eyes….?" Eunie struggled to form a sentence, but she managed to.

"I think there's only one answer to this, but…I…don't want to accept this fact."

"Huh? What do you mean by that? Come on, mate, say what's on your head." Lanz said.

"Okay, I'll say it, but don't rage."

"Huh?"

"I think Manana's cooking has zero effects."

"…."

"….."

"….."

"…"

"WHAAAAAATTTTTT?" The party all exclaimed, including Eunie.

"You gotta be joking kidding me!" Sena shouted.

"I…kinda expected this…." Noah facepalmed.

"Then…what about the past? Didn't we….fight fine when we had her cooking?" Lanz asked, frustration covering his face.

"That's probably because you're just full and your energy got recharged. Or…it could be a placebo effect."

"Pla…place…eh….?"

"I'll explain it later, Sena, but…that's my statement. Manana's cooking is…tactically useless. Excluding the superb taste." Taion concluded.

"By the way, where's Mimi? She's go… Oh, she's here!" Sena exclaimed, pointing at the catgirl.

Who had an orange nopon in her hands.

"Brought….the…culprit…." Mio panted.

"Great, now time for inspection!" Lanz said, approaching Mio.

"Meh meh….?" Manana froze.

"Manana!" Sena blurted out.

"Meh…..?"

"Explain, will you?" Noah said with his arms crossed.

"Ma…Manana know nothing!"

"Come on, mate, have you been fooling us for the whole time?"

"Yeah! How about the time we spent together in the colony!" Sena said, putting her face close to her.

"Meh meh…..? Riku, help Manana!"

"Riku have only one thing to say."

"What….?"

"Nopon never break promises."

"Rikuuu!" Manana cried out.

"Anyway, time for more inspection, mate. We're gonna have a wild ride." Lanz said, teaming up with Sena.

So….the bickering started. More like an interrogation, actually. The most enthusiastic members were Lanz and Sena. Mio blurting in occasionally. Taion and Noah discussed about when they found out Manana's cooking had no effects, and Riku stayed quiet.

But there was one girl,

Who got isolated in the process.

'Ugh…so…noisy….why can't they keep it sparking down when their medic's down with wounds…? And…great, my belly's rumbling. Ah…I don't sparking care whether the snuffing food has some effects or what. Someone please give me fooood….. And goddammit, four-eyes. You have the strength to chat with Noah but have no strength to heal my belly? Queen's pitch black dress, today sucks….'

Unfortunately…

For today, Eunie wasn't the boss.

(Omake)

"Thanks for the meal!" Eunie cheerfully stood up from the chair of Colony 11's canteen.

"Enjoyed our special battle food?" Easel smirked.

"Yup! Tasted heavenly! Wait, battle food? Does…the food have some useful effects?" Eunie said, her eyes sparkling with anticipation.

"Effects? Hah! What the spark are you talking about?" Ashera laughed as she finished her food.

"Why do I have a bad feeling about this…."

"We don't need stinking food effects in order to slaughter! We fight because we want to! Food? That exists only to fill our stomachs! To keep us alive to fight!" Ashera shouted.

"Wait, what?"

"Our commander is right. That's the 11 way." Easel said, collecting their empty trays.

"You…you really are a maniac, aren't you?" Eunie sighed.

"Yep!" Ashera smiled.

"Don't just blindly accept it, you muppet!"

"Thanks, Eunie! You're the best! Always giving me compliments!"

"Wha…?"

"Anyway, ready for some training?" Ashera said, grabbing Eunie's arm.

"Training…? With what?"

"We prepared some deadly Levnises near the colony. It'll be perfect for smashing! Let's go and smash!"

"Not join smash?"

"That comes later! Anyway, Easel, wanna join?"

"Why wouldn't I?" The redhead snorted as she abandoned the trays in her hands.

"Wait, what about those?"

"I'm not the only soldier in the canteen. Fighting comes first."

"Oh my….ugh… Hey, by the way, Easel."

"What is it?"

"You really remind me of my friend."

"Oh really? Who? Noah? Mio? Taion?"

"Hmmm….how could I say this in the most confusing way possible…. Okay, got it."

"Hmm?"

"The friend's orange. And the friend cooks."

"Oh, so you're thinking of that friend because the friend cooks like me?"

"Well….." Eunie scratched her wings.

"It's….similar to that….."

I was still working on the long-arse chapter, but it got out of control, so I wrote this for...refreshments.