So, I got notice that sometimes the newer chapters seem unavailable to read. I guess there is still a bit of a problem with the website, but I hope everything works now and you will be able to read this chapter.

Today was my daughter's birthday party. She turned five this week and she had a lot of fun. I am really happy that she has already made so many friends in her new kindergarten group, so what does it matter that my house looks like there was a mini-tornado inside of it. I'll be cleaning it all up tomorrow, because I really want to get this chapter out today.

It takes place two months after the last one, one day before the wedding. It covers Sheldon's bachelor party, while the next one will be about Amy's bachelorette party on the same day.

I know there are still quite a few open questions about the future of pretty much all the characters. Some of it will be addressed during these wedding chapters, but not everything. For the next few chapters, the focus will be on Sheldon and Amy's relationship, about how they are feeling about everything centered around their wedding and there will also be a little bit of reminiscing about how they got here.

Of course, the flashbacks and Raj/Missy's story will be continuing as well, but there might be one or two chapters without their POVs that only center around Sheldon and Amy, I am not exactly sure yet.

To give you a little outlook on what's to come (I promise, this story is far from over): First the bachelor/bachelorette parties, then at least 2 (more likely 3) chapters with the actual wedding and the events around it. Their wedding night will get an extra chapter, their honeymoon will be one or two, and then after that, there will be another few chapters to resolve (hopefully) all of the storylines and of course it will end with a look into the not-so-distant future, so it will be clear how everyone's story went on. If I had to guess, I'd say there are another ten to twelve chapters before this story ends.

At least that's the plan. I have to admit, I have only a very rough first draft of everything that is about to come, and I am still figuring out the details of several side stories, so I cannot say for sure how many chapters there will be or if I will manage to finish them on time to keep my schedule. As always I will be doing my best.

I hope you'll enjoy this one!

There was love all around
But I never heard it singing
No, I never heard it at all
'Til there was you

Balancing Heaven And Earth
Chapter 20 – "Till there was you"

Sheldon's POV:

"Someone's watching me."

Those were Sheldon's thoughts as he was slowly waking up from his peaceful slumber, only one day away from the day he would be getting married.

In another context, this could have been a concerning thought. But to Sheldon, it was not.

Because he knew exactly who it was that was looking at him right now, even without opening his own eyes.

There was a tingling feeling in his stomach. And he felt warm. As if the sun was shining directly upon his face.

He opened his eyes and inadvertently, his lips turned into a smile.

There she was. On her side, facing him. Her gaze on him, so lovingly, it almost felt like she was caressing him with her eyes.

"Hey.", he mumbled and turned on his side as well. "You're up early."

"I had to use the bathroom.", she explained. "And then I realized that the next time we are going to wake up together like this, we will be husband and wife."

"Only because of this ridiculous idea of going to sleep separately tonight.", he pouted. "Remind me again why we are doing this."

"Because it's a tradition.", she said, rolling her eyes gently. "We are not supposed to see each other on the day of our wedding before we are meeting at the aisle. Also, it is supposed to make our wedding night extra special."

He huffed.

Making the wedding night extra special. As if that was even necessary.

"I'd say it is more of a superstition.", he said stubbornly. "And you know I don't like those. Amy, all of this is only meant to create the impression that our wedding night will be the first time we consummate our love. You and I both know that ship has sailed a long time ago."

"It has.", she said grinning at him. "And I'd like to point out, it has sailed quite often and successfully."

He had to grin back at her.

Yes. Yes, it had. And he hoped, it would continue to do so. That it would keep broaden their horizon as it took them to explore new shores time and time again.

"Then really, Amy. Why are we doing this? Why don't we just meet up here in our home tonight after our respective parties, have tea and just go to sleep together? Isn't it enough that we haven't been intimate for the last two weeks? Why do we have to sleep separately from each other. It's so unnecessary."

Keeping his hands off her had been hard enough. On so many occasions during these two weeks, she had tortured him with her beautiful brain and her interesting facts and her deliciously round hindquarters. He shuddered at the thought of all the cold showers he had to take.

But the thought of not sleeping next to her was even harder. Almost unbearable. It had been so many months since he had to do this the last time. Was he even capable of sleeping without her?

She shifted closer to him and put her hand on his pajama top, just on the spot where his heart was beating for only her.

"I will miss you too.", she told him. "Very much. And I cannot wait to see you again tomorrow."

He sighed and pulled her into his arms.

Maybe there was a little bit of truth to this strange custom. Maybe it really would make their wedding day more special if they said their good-byes now to spend this last day before their wedding separately.

It already made him crave the moment when he would be standing at the end of the aisle, watching her as she walked towards him.

"Are you sure you are okay with me and the ladies having our party here today?", Amy pulled him out of his thoughts. "I mean, it's still your house. You should not have to move your event to your mother's house."

"It's our house, Amy.", he corrected her. "And yes, I am okay with it. As I told you repeatedly. The guys and I have already set up all our gaming equipment yesterday. It's also easier for Joshua once his bedtime approaches. He can just go to his room then."

Amy chuckled.

"I can't believe your bachelor party is going to be a gaming marathon."

"And I can't believe you thought it would be anything else.", he told her, raising his eyebrows. "I chose my best men especially so no one would get any crazy ideas."

Yes. Best men. Plural. Because there were two of them.

Leonard who had assisted him in picking out his suit and was in charge of helping him get ready for the ceremony. Of course, his best friend had also tried to give him a talk to prepare him for married life, but Sheldon had very quickly ended this conversation.

He already knew exactly what it was like to be married to Amy. And he knew it had nothing to do with any of the experiences Leonard had made with his wife.

And then, there was his other best man. Joshua. He was in charge of guarding the wedding rings and helping Leonard plan the bachelor party. More importantly, he was responsible for picking out all the food and drinks available at the party. A very easy way for Sheldon to make sure he would not have to endure any embarrassing drunk speeches tonight.

"I know.", Amy nodded. "But… you play video games with your friends all the time and this night is designed for men to get crazy before settling down. You know… hire a stripper, get drunk, do some crazy stunts..."

He snickered and pressed his forehead against hers before he spoke.

"Amy, we both know I do not enjoy feeling drunk. And if I ever express the desire to hire a stripper, please do me a favor and have my brain scanned. You are the only woman I ever wanted to see naked."

He kissed her softly after saying this last sentence and a part of him wanted to break their promise to keep their hands off each other until their wedding night and see her naked right now instead.

"It's just…", she said and bit her lower lip. "We are getting married tomorrow, Sheldon. I just don't ever want you to think you missed out on anything."

"Amy…", he said softly and cupped her face with his left hand. "The only thing I missed out on was not meeting you back when I could have met you. There is nothing else I regret. I do not need one last wild night before being tied down for the rest of my life. I just need to pass my time until I finally get to marry you. Playing video games will achieve that."

Amy blinked away a tear that was forming in her eyes. "Oh…", she breathed out.

"Do you have any regrets?", he asked her quietly. "Is there anything you feel you should have done before marrying me? Any… wild, crazy ideas you need to get out of your system?"

He knew the answer to that of course. Still, it felt good to hear it.

"Of course not.", said and placed a gentle kiss on his nose. "I've been dreaming of being your wife for so long. I cannot wait for it to finally come true."

"Then we agree.", he nodded and pulled her face close so he could kiss her again sweetly.

He did not want to get up. He did not want to go over across the street and not see her until tomorrow in the late afternoon. But it was the agreement.

He just couldn't pull away from her yet.

Amy nestled into his chest, burying her face into his pajama top. He could feel her breath on his chest. It was so comfortable. And he couldn't believe his luck, knowing he would have this for the rest of his life.

"We're getting married tomorrow.", he whispered into her ear.

"Oh, right, that's why I blocked my schedule for the day.", she teased him.

He rolled his eyes at her and when she started giggling, he slapped her behind lightly.

"Sheldon…", she whispered then, running her fingers over his pajama-covered chest. "Do you think… things will be different between us? Are we… going to feel different?"

"I don't know.", he admitted. "I mean… nothing's really going to change, is it? Once we are back from our honeymoon, we will still be living here for a few months. Our routine will be the same. But… on the other hand… you'll be my wife. We will be trying for a baby."

He was especially looking forward to this last thing.

"And while we will keep living here for a few months, we will slowly be packing up our stuff and getting ready to relocate.", she added.

Yes, it was true.

President Siebert had officially made them an offer only a week after their meeting. A generous offer. He was giving them everything they wanted and more.

And even though both of them were a little sad about it, they agreed it would be foolish not to take it.

At the same time, Missy had taken Joshua out of school. They all had agreed that homeschooling was not the best option, but for now, it gave the little boy a much-needed break until there would be a permanent solution.

Other than that, his sister still wasn't sure what her plans would be, but at the very least, she was heavily leaning towards leaving Medford. Just like Sheldon and Amy had done before, it was now her turn to explore her options.

Amy had handed in her letter of resignation at her school, something that was met with almost boundless regret, not only by her students but also by her colleagues and her boss.

And as so often, Sheldon felt, he could only hope that they were making the right choice.

Medford was not perfect. It was not the idyllic place it had at times felt like during the past two years. It had an ugly side too.

But still, it had been a wonderful first home for him and Amy. A place where they both had been able to find themselves and become more well-rounded people than they had been before.

And a place, where their love for each other had blossomed. Where their relationship had grown. Where they had learned so much together.

Would they be able to take everything they had learned to a new place and find the same kind of happiness there? Only time would tell.

"I should go now.", he finally told his beautiful soon-to-be wife. "Mom wants me over for breakfast before she and Missy come over here."

"I know. And I'll better get going too. Ruth will already be waiting for me."

Sheldon still found it strange, that the old lady had invited Amy over to her place this morning. He would have preferred his fiancée to be at his mother's place too for a family breakfast before the big day.

But Ruth had insisted that she had something extremely important to tell Amy. He still wondered what that could be.

A sound coming from his nightstand told him, there was no time to speculate about that anymore though.

"Yes, mother. I'll be over in a second.", he muttered into his phone, before he sighed deeply.

"I'll see you tomorrow.", he told Amy and brushed his lips against hers. "At the aisle."

"I cannot wait.", she breathed out and pulled him close to kiss him one last time.

And so, Sheldon Cooper left his home for the last time as an unmarried man. And as he left it, his mind took him back to when he was here for the first time after his meemaw had died. So many months ago.

Sad, frustrated, lonely. His heart heavy with grief. And oh, so full of resentment towards the woman who would very soon become the most important person in his life.

He grinned as he thought of the way he had seen her here back then. Alarmed because of the noise he had made in the driveway. Threatening him with a rolling pin. How grateful was he for his eidetic memory. He would always be able to remember this hilarious image and every interaction with her that followed after that.

And finally, tomorrow night, he would return here with her. With his wife. On the first day of the rest of their lives.

To celebrate their wedding night, not in a fancy hotel room, but here, where their story had begun. In the place where, so far, almost all their relationship milestones had happened.

He arrived at his mother's house just in time for breakfast and his heart soared, as he saw the plate his mother had prepared for him.

Of course there was a big bowl with fresh fruit next to it. Ever since his heart attack, she had always insisted on serving him lots of fruits and vegetables with everything he ate at her place.

But today, there was also a plate with freshly made pancakes. And a smiley face made of chocolate syrup on one of them.

"Mom, I think you made a mistake. This plate is obviously meant for Joshua or Ellis.", he said, raising his eyebrows.

"It is not.", his mother replied as she sat down. Her voice sounded strange.

He looked at her more closely. Was he mistaken or were there tears in her eyes.

"You are getting married tomorrow.", she said, her voice brimming with emotion. "But regardless, you will always be my baby boy. So let me have this, will you?"

Sheldon had to blink away his own tears now. Why did everyone always have to be this emotional.

"Thanks mom.", he said, looking away from her slightly embarrassed before he took his first bite.

"So, when are your friends coming here?", his sister asked then, while feeding her little daughter.

She sounded strange as well. But in a different way.

Sheldon studied her, like he had studied his mother before.

She looked… different. Instead of her usual messy bun, she had styled her hair in loose waves. It seemed shinier than usual as well. She was wearing a short, colorful summer dress and a pair of new strappy sandals she had recently bought when she was shopping with Amy.

"Why are you dressed up like that?", he asked curiously. "I thought you were going to a spa and then having drinks and party games across the street."

"It's still a bachelorette party, Shelly.", she brushed him off. "I'm allowed to look pretty. So, I am asking again. When are your friends supposed to arrive?"

He furrowed his eyebrows. Something about this interaction felt strange, but he could not put a finger on it.

"Howard is taking Raj and Leonard on a tour at the space center this morning. The same tour he gave me a few years back. They will be here in time for the party though, which will start at 3 pm sharp."

"Oh.", Missy said. Her face fell. "Well, I will have to leave before that. Amy's party is starting at lunchtime."

Sheldon again felt confused. Hadn't they talked about this already? Why would Missy feel bothered by the fact she had to leave before the start of his party?

Oh, of course. She must be worried about her children. After Joshua running away from home, it was understandable for her to be concerned.

"Don't worry, Missy.", he said reassuringly. "Ruth will be here to pick up Ellis in an hour and I will be taking care of Joshua before the party. I have a few new trains to add to our collection. He will hardly notice you're not here."

Missy gave him a half-smile and thanked him before continuing with her breakfast.

He really did enjoy playing with his young nephew after breakfast.

Now that he did not go to school with his bullies anymore, Joshua seemed to be changing back into his former self more with each day that passed.

In the afternoon, the little boy helped him arrange all the food and snacks they had bought together the day before.

As promised, Sheldon had let Joshua pick out every single item, a task the boy had taken very seriously.

They had made superhero-sandwiches and a few more that were shaped like stars and lightning bolts. Fruit and popcorn sticks dipped in chocolate sauce and rainbow sprinkles. His mother had made them cupcakes the day before, so he and Joshua could put blue frosting and superman toppers on them.

Afterwards, they prepared "super juice", which really was just a brightly colored fruit punch, served in "The Flash"-paper cups with bendy straws.

To Sheldon's surprise, Joshua had also insisted on buying the ingredients for those delicious mini turkey and cheese sliders Raj had made for them two months before in Pasadena.

"If we get started on those right when he arrives, we can eat them before I have to go to bed.", the little boy explained. "Maybe this time, Raj will let me make the buns too."

Sheldon did not deny this request. For once because he knew, his friend would enjoy making food for his party. And then also, because he loved how happy Joshua looked as he suggested all these things.

And as he looked at the buffet they had created, Sheldon was inclined to appoint his nephew to plan all his future gatherings.

One by one, the party guests arrived.

Leonard, Howard and Raj were the first ones there, with the latter being dragged to the kitchen by an excited Joshua right away.

Jared and Greg arrived only minutes later, carrying brand-new laptops, excited to play video games for the first time in many years.

Of course Sheldon had thought about inviting Daniel as well, but he was helping Ruth taking care of all the smaller children tonight. An early wedding gift so he and Amy both could enjoy their night with their friends.

As expected, his older brother was the last one to arrive.

"So, you were serious.", Georgie grumbled as he took in the scene. "This wasn't just a ploy to maintain your good-boy status with mom. You really are having a gaming marathon tonight."

"Of course I am, Georgie.", he nodded.

"And there really is no alcohol?", his brother said, shaking his head. "Not even beer?"

Sheldon scrunched up his nose. Why would he want to have beer at a party.

"I let Joshua pick out everything.", he reminded his brother. "And he has done an excellent job."

"Ah, I see.", Georgie grinned. "You're keeping the good stuff away until he has to go to bed."

Sheldon stared at his brother blankly. "No."

Georgie's smile froze.

"You are serious.", he realized. "I am here to… play video games with your friends. Nothing else."

"Of course he is serious.", Howard said and handed Georgie a paper cup filled with Super Juice. "And it's going to be epic. We're playing all the great games. Starting out with Super Mario and Minecraft. Then we're having dinner while watching Wall-E. And after Joshua's in bed, we are indeed getting out the good stuff. Halo. World of Warcraft. Lord of the Rings online. Take your pick."

"This is the perfect night.", Leonard agreed. "Sheldon, I have to admit, even though I was a bit disappointed because I am not in charge tonight, I could not have come up with a more perfect bachelor party for you."

Georgie just stood there, listening to his friends wide-eyed as if they were talking in a language he could not begin to comprehend.

Even though his relationship with his brother had improved immensely over the past year, Sheldon couldn't help but feel a sense of contentment as he saw Georgie's facial expression.

He was outnumbered and he knew it. For once, Sheldon was not the odd one in the room. Georgie was.

"Well…", his older brother finally said. "I guess I should have expected this."

"Just try to enjoy it, Georgie.", Sheldon said and handed him a game controller.

Georgie sighed deeply as he took it, then he shrugged.

"I mean… I am here now. So… might as well enter your weird world for a day. But if I ever get married again, I expect the same courtesy from you. The whole program. Weekend in Vegas. Gambling. Strip Club. Drinks. And no complaining."

"One drink.", Sheldon conceded. "One game of blackjack. And I'll be waiting outside the strip club without complaining about how ridiculous it all is."

Georgie grinned at him. "Deal."

It was one of the most fun days Sheldon had ever experienced in his whole life.

What a delight it was. A day that was all about him. Where he got to pick all the games they played. Sprinkled with little speeches that – also – were all about him in between.

His friends telling him time and time again how great it was to have him back in their lives. How much they were looking forward to him living in California again. Wherever exactly that would be. At the very least they would be seeing each other for lunch in the cafeteria every day again.

Playing video games – something he excelled at – with all his friends as well as with his little nephew who was beaming the whole time and fitting into their group perfectly.

And – he couldn't help it – he was also gloating a little bit.

For all the times when his brother had called him a weirdo. His football-playing, partying, 'normal' brother who just always seemed to have it easier in life.

Now he was sitting on the couch, weirdly holding a gaming controller in his hands. Cursing under his breath whenever his character fell down a hole or was hit by a turtle. There was no way to sugarcoat it. He sucked at it.

Even Jared, who, by his own admission, had not played a video game in about thirty years, easily had him beat.

They ate dinner then while watching the movie that Joshua had picked out and as he took the first bite of the food Raj had prepared, even Georgie's mood started to improve again.

Joshua was sent to bed then and after many rounds of Halo, something his brother actually enjoyed, they all were ready to call it a night.

Finally, there were only a few hours of sleep separating Sheldon from the day he would become Amy's husband. His heart was pounding away in his chest as he started counting down the minutes.

Due to his nephew currently residing in his childhood room, Sheldon joined the others as they set up air mattresses in the living room, sighing as he thought about the pleasant bed across the street where he would have preferred to stay the night for more than just one reason.

Tomorrow, he promised himself. Tomorrow, and then he would never have to spend a night apart from Amy for the rest of his life.

Everyone changed into their pajamas and Sheldon felt taken back to all the times they had held gaming marathons in the living room of his apartment in Pasadena.

Covered in snacks, Howard's mother coming to drag him away in the morning. All of them compensating for their lonely teenage years.

The good old times he would always cherish. And while he was entering a different phase of his life again, one where there would not be a lot of time for gaming marathons and sleepovers, he was happy he got to share this new phase with his friends.

With a big smile on his face, he was about to settle in on his air mattress, when he heard his brother's voice from the kitchen.

"Sheldon, can you help me with something? It's kind of an emergency."

An emergency?

He heard alarm bells going off in his mind. Was something up with Missy? Or Joshua? Or Amy?

Something that would disrupt his life again? It couldn't be, could it?

He excused himself from his friends and went out to see what was up.

"What's going on, Georgie.", he asked concerned, but stopped in his tracks as he saw what was on the dining room table. "What is this?"

Georgie winked at him and pointed at the two bottles of beer on the table.

"Sheldon, I was playing along all afternoon. I have to admit, it was more fun than I thought it would be. Your friends are pretty great. But now, I hope you understand, I just have to insist on having one beer with you on the day before you get married."

"Georgie, I specifically asked not being forced to…"

"You don't even have to drink it.", he continued. "Just sit with me and let's have a little talk. Man to man."

Sheldon cringed as he thought about his last man to man talk with his brother.

"Georgie, really, there is no need in trying to prepare me for my wedding night. I appreciate it, but believe me, I know exactly what I am doing in that area."

"That's good to hear, but it is not what I wanted to talk about, Sheldon.", Georgie said gently. "But… tomorrow is a big day for you. I know I am not the best person to talk about marriage, considering my track record. But Dad is not here to make sure you have everything you need. I am all you have."

Sheldon smiled weakly.

It was true. This day was one of the occasions when he really, really would have wanted to talk to his late father. He missed him even more than he usually did.

And he had to admit, Georgie had a point. He would do anything in order to be able to have a beer with him. Tonight. The day before he was getting married.

So, he took one of the cans and opened it.

"So.", he said after taking a sip of the disgusting liquid. "What do you want to talk about?"

"Well, first of all…", his brother said and looked at him seriously. "Are you happy, Sheldon? With everything that is happening? All the changes? Your life with Amy… is it everything you hoped it would be?"

"You know the answer to that, Georgie.", Sheldon replied softly.

"I do.", Georgie agreed. "I have never seen you happier. Still, I want to hear it from you. Because you are not like me. You are not getting married on a whim. This is forever. So I want to make sure that you are okay with it."

"I am.", Sheldon nodded. "I never thought I would ever be in this position. But… getting married to Amy tomorrow… honestly, Georgie, I don't think anything could ever make me happier than knowing I will be with her for the rest of my life."

Georgie nodded drank from his beer before smiling brightly at him.

"I am really proud of you, Sheldon. And I know, if Dad would still be here, he would be proud as well."

What followed after that, was the best talk Sheldon ever had with his brother.

First, Georgie told him about his failed marriages and the mistakes he had made during those.

The one he had entered much too young just after their father's early demise. And then the one where he had wanted to prove to himself and everyone else that he was in fact able to commit to a person.

Which he maybe was, but he just had never been able to find the one.

And then Sheldon told his brother about all those years when he had convinced himself that he did not want love or a relationship. Because it just had always seemed like something that was not possible for him.

They talked about their parents' complicated marriage and how they both had at times been afraid to repeat the mistakes they had witnessed.

And in the end, after emptying the whole can of beer, Sheldon had to admit, he was happy about this. About getting to bond with his brother.

"Will you visit me at times?", he asked with a lump in his throat. "Once Amy and I move back to California?"

"I'm going to miss you.", Georgie admitted. "Both of you. And yes. Of course, I will visit you. And I hope you will come back here more frequently than you used to. No matter where you are. This will always be your home as well, little brother. Don't you forget that."

"Thank you, Georgie.", Sheldon said sincerely. "I never thought it would be possible. But… I will miss you too. Very much."

Georgie nodded thoughtfully.

"We've come a long way. Let's not lose each other ever again."

He got up then and extended his hand to Sheldon, pulling him up and then into a bear hug.

Had anyone told Sheldon he would one day enjoy being hugged by his older brother, he would not have believed it. Not in a million years. But so many things had changed since he had arrived in Medford.

And so, Sheldon hugged his brother back tightly, not for the first time that day fighting back tears.

"I'll better get going now.", Georgie said gruffly. "Let you sleep off the alcohol. I'll be here early tomorrow though. In case you need help getting ready. I can assist your nerdy friend."

Sheldon smiled. "Thank you, Georgie. I am looking forward to it."

He was about to return to the living room, when one of his friends came out to the kitchen.

"Oh.", Raj said as he saw Sheldon standing there. "I… I couldn't sleep. I thought I could find some milk or…"

"That's okay.", Sheldon nodded. "I'll join you. Need to get this weird beer-taste out of my mouth. Also, there's something I have wanted to talk to you about for a while now."

Raj's POV:

Uh oh.

What could Sheldon possibly want to talk about? One day before his wedding?

Had he found out about his recent crush on Amy?

Or… was this about Missy? But what was there even to talk about?

Ever since Missy's visit in Pasadena two months ago, they had kept in contact. To watch movies together. And to talk about their lives.

About the possibility of Missy moving to California. About a possible job opportunity for her at the planetarium.

But… that was all innocent, right? And Sheldon probably did not even know about it.

He started to feel slightly uncomfortable.

"Wh… what did you want to talk about?", he asked tentatively.

"I'm getting married tomorrow.", Sheldon started.

Raj nodded. This was not news. "I know. Did you want to talk about that? I… won't really be able to offer you any words of advice. Maybe I could get Leonard or Howard."

"No, Raj.", Sheldon shook his head and smiled. "I do not need any advice. But there is something we need to sort out as soon as possible."

Oh. So it was about his crush on Amy?

"It's about the apartment.", Sheldon said finally.

"The… the apartment?"

"Yes.", Sheldon nodded. "As I said. I am getting married. I think… my days of having a roommate should now come to an end. It's… time."

"Oh…", Raj said, sadness filling his heart. "So… you want me out of the apartment. It makes sense. You and Amy need privacy. I understand. I'll be moving out as soon as possible."

"What?", Sheldon said a little taken aback. "No, Raj, this is not what I was saying. God, I should not have had this beer, this is all getting out wrong."

Raj just had to agree. Sheldon was not making sense.

"Let me try once more.", his friend said. "Amy and I are getting married tomorrow. And as you know, we decided to return to California in a few months. But… we want to start a family. And we don't want to start this new life in my old bachelor pad in Pasadena. So… if you want, you can take over my lease."

"R… really?", Raj clarified, a big grin forming on his face.

"Now I know, this could cause problems for you.", Sheldon continued. "You left your old apartment because you could not afford it. I don't know if your financial situation has changed, and I do not want to leave you hanging. So… until Amy and I find our own place in California… until we will have a mortgage to pay, I am willing to keep paying my share of the rent. Maybe we will come and stay over at times when we go looking at houses. But the apartment will officially be in your name. Is this something you can live with?"

Raj could feel his heart fill with gratitude.

Yes, he had been through hard times. And although he had never expected it, Sheldon had really stepped up and made things much, much easier for him.

"You don't have to pay any of the rent, Sheldon.", he assured his friend. "I have paid off my debt a long time ago. And with the additional income from my planetarium show… I can easily afford the apartment by myself now. But thank you for the offer. It means a lot to me. Everything you have done for me, Sheldon. You've been an amazing friend. Surely a much better one than I deserved at times."

He still felt guilty at times for the things he had felt for his friend's future wife.

"It wasn't a big deal.", Sheldon brushed him off. "The apartment would have been empty otherwise. Really, Raj. Everyone would have done this for you."

Maybe, Raj thought. But everyone had not done it. Only Sheldon. Just like he had been the one to step up for Missy when she was going through the worst nightmare of her life. And for Joshua too.

Despite all the things he had thought about Sheldon in the past, his stubbornness, his selfishness, his complicated rules and contracts… Raj had to admit, this man sitting across from him… he was an extraordinary human being. Someone who was there for people when things got hard. Without expecting as much as a thank you for it. It was an honor to have him as a friend.

And he deserved to know the truth. Everything. Even if it meant he would never talk to him again.

"I cannot take your apartment. I am a horrible friend. I was in love with Amy.", Raj blurted out before he could stop himself. Not even when he saw Sheldon's eyes widen in surprise. "I was… thinking about her all the time for many months. I had dreams of her. Inappropriate dreams. And… I am sorry. If you want… I can just leave. Right now."

"You… you…", Sheldon stammered. "You… tried to steal Amy? My Amy? The woman I am about to marry tomorrow?"

"No.", Raj said quickly. "No, no, no. I… never tried to steal her. I just… kept dreaming of her. And I tried to stop it. But… I couldn't help it. She was so nice to me when I took her to the planetarium. And I thought… if only I could have a woman like her. I am sorry, Sheldon. I really am."

Sheldon did not say anything for a while.

"Tell me about those dreams.", he demanded then. "Not about the… inappropriate parts. Never about that. But… I fail to understand. You hardly ever spent time with Amy. What did you have to dream about?"

"I dreamed about…", Raj sighed. "Sweeping her off her feet. You know? Like in those old movies. Take her out, maybe to a country club. Once I dreamed about us being passengers on the titanic. Or about her being a damsel in distress and me stepping up and saving her from evil. Dressed in a stylish dress from the 1920s. And… I wrote poems about her. Love poems. I destroyed all of them. I promise."

Sheldon waved for him to stop, and Raj felt really stupid for sharing all these things.

"That's not Amy.", Sheldon finally said.

"What?"

"You were not dreaming of Amy, Raj.", he continued. "Not my Amy. Amy is not a damsel in distress. She does not want to go to a country club or board the titanic. She does not care about dresses or drama or anything coming from a movie you would like. I've heard about the poems you used to write about Bernadette. No offense, but Amy is… not someone that would enjoy this kind of poetry. You were just… lonely. And you projected it on Amy. I mean, who could blame you?"

"What?", Raj repeated, his mind running a mile a minute.

"Look, Raj… I know not everyone sees Amy the way I see her. But… in an ideal world… everyone would fall for her. She's not just pretty. She also is kind and compassionate. She has this amazing brain, and she is so interested in just about everything. She's so funny. I will… never get bored with her. Just sitting at the breakfast table with her for the rest of my life is something that would make me happy. She's… extraordinary. She's the best. But… she's not the right woman for you, Raj. You might have had a crush on her but… you did not love her. You barely know her. And there's no way she would ever fall in love with you."

"You don't think Amy could fall for me?", Raj asked a little offended. "Even if she didn't know you?"

"Raj.", Sheldon said, rolling his eyes. "Has she ever given you the impression that she could see you as anything but a friend?"

"No.", Raj admitted.

"Of course not.", Sheldon agreed. "Because Amy and I… we are made for each other. There is no one else for her. And there is no one else for me either. And even if we had never met, there is no way either of us could have ever found happiness with another person. We belong together. It has… been obvious right from the start. It is the way it is. In every possible instance. In every universe. Every dimension. We are meant to be together. This is solid. And nothing. Not even a little crush from your side ever has the chance to ever threaten it."

Raj smiled softly. It must be nice, feeling so sure about another person. He could only hope that someday he would get to feel like this too.

"So, you're not mad at me.", he clarified.

"You had a few rough years, Raj.", he said. "I understand that better than anyone. I meant what I said a few years ago. I hope, some day you will find your personal Amy. But whatever you felt for my Amy, it's just… not relevant. Not at all. And like you said, you never tried anything. You just… saw how special she is. I can never be mad about that. At least not if you promise you are no longer having inappropriate thoughts about her. Only I get to imagine her this way."

"Of course.", Raj nodded, relief flushing through him. "You are getting married to an amazing woman, Sheldon. And... I am really happy for you. You deserve this. And I wish the both of you all the happiness in the world."

"So, I take it you do still want the apartment?", Sheldon asked.

Raj chuckled. "I would love to have it. If you still feel comfortable giving it to me."

"I do."

The two friends shared a smile. Then, Sheldon got up.

"Well, that was a nice talk. But I need to go. I just realized that… there is someone… I need to talk to. And something I need to do. Right now."

"You are not going to tell Amy about my crush though, right?", Raj asked tentatively. It would be so embarassing.

"Raj?", Sheldon said sternly. "You are not asking me to keep a secret here, are you?"

"Please?", Raj asked. "I don't know how I should ever look at her again if she knew."

Sheldon sighed.

"Well… I cannot promise anything. But I'll try. If you'll excuse me now…"

"Wait, Sheldon… before you go… there's something else."

Sheldon turned around impatiently.

"Can this wait until after the wedding?"

It probably could. But… since he was in a confessing mood, maybe he could clear the air about something else.

"Sheldon, please. This will be quick."

"Fine.", Sheldon huffed. "Go on."

"Well… now that we settled this… now that you are okay with how I used to feel about your fiancée… maybe we should be talking about your sister next."