BPOV.

Edward silently followed me to my room, looking with great interest at everything that caught his eye. Not so long ago he had just as carefully examined all the other rooms, but here he seemed to hold his gaze longer on every little detail. I looked around, wondering what could interest him so much, but I didn't see anything out of the ordinary.

A large bookcase with my impressive book collection stood against the wall, a cream-colored couch was moved to the panoramic window, a huge carpet in the middle of the room and a massive bed with a stack of unread books. The room was plain, and at first glance, it might even seem that no one lives here. Unlike the rest of my family, my stay in this house has been short so far. Many of my personal belongings were still stored in the basement waiting for the attention.

But still, Edward carefully and scrupulously studied every centimeter of my space. Maybe it was because he was attracted to me? I suppressed my smile, and tried to look calm. Of course, I felt his affection for me, at times it was like he hadn't even tried to hide it. Sometimes his gaze lingered on my face a little longer than usual, sometimes he just tried to discreetly look at me. But I had noticed it all. I noticed since I had done the same thing. I would have been caught long ago if it hadn't been for my enhanced reflexes.

And sometimes, to notice his interest, I didn't even have to look in his direction. The way his pulse quickened with each of our touches or the sudden heat radiating from his body were telltale signs. And above all, I loved it. I loved every single proof that my interest was not one-sided. But at the same time, I was terrified. How did it happen that after almost fifty years of my existence, I developed feelings for an eighteen-year-old. A very human eighteen-year-old. I wanted to laugh at the irony in my life. They say that vampires don't change in time, freeze as they were in the last minutes of their lives. Apparently, our tastes freeze with us.

Meanwhile, Edward circled the room and came to a stop at my bookcase. He silently ran his fingers over the spines of some of the books, selecting the shabbiest ones.

"So, what do you think about my room?"

"This is a good room. Probably the most beautiful view opens from your window. But there are so few personal items here, it reminded me of a hotel room. There is everything you need, but not much more. Although, maybe you are just a very neat person and love minimalism." He looked again at the empty shelves hanging above the bed.

"Very insightful. Many of my things are still kept in boxes, I didn't have time to unpack after the move. Constantly distracted by some other activities."

Edward nodded thoughtfully and looked down at the floor.

"So, the part about moving out of England is actually true? To be honest, I'm a little confused now. I can't help but wonder how much of what I know about you is real."

My eyes widened in surprise. Of course, he was reasonable, saying that before that, I might had been simply lying to him, attempting to keep my nature a secret. He didn't know that I always told things as close to the truth as possible. When a question had required some more detailed answer, I always simply refused to answer it, citing my unwillingness to remember the past.

"Edward, I swear that almost everything you know about me is true. Have I moved from England? Not really, I did spend a few weeks there before returning to the States, but the boarding school story is a lie. My departure to Europe was a big mistake, but this story is not for now. Everything else I said was true, I really missed my family and decided to live with them again, I really got in touch with the wrong people, well, vampires. As you understand, I couldn't openly tell you about many things. But now, you know my biggest secret, and I can tell you a lot more about me. We can start with my parents, like I promised."

This topic was not easy for me, but I wanted Edward to know something about me from my past life. Edward silently nodded his head in agreement, and I waved my hand towards the couch.

"As I said before, I'll begin with the events that led to the incident that changed my life." I exhaled loudly and thought back to that day in the New Hampshire woods. "My classmates and I were going on a camping trip, it was the end of the school year, and we wanted to enjoy each other's company before everyone went away for the summer. We were quite a large group, a little over ten people. Although we got along very well, I sadly can't name even half of those people now. But I vividly recall my then-boyfriend, Tomas. We had been dating for a few months, nothing serious, but he was always so very jealous. At first, I even liked it, my teenage brains perceived it as something cute. But then it became a major issue: he was jealous of anything and everyone. He was jealous of my friends, waiters, some nonexistent admirers and regular passers-by. It nearly drove me insane. On the day of the trip itself, he became jealous of our common male friend. Of course, all the reasons for jealousy were only in his head, but when he found out that this friend went with our company, he decided to make a scandal in the middle of the forest. I was afraid that it could turn into a fight and persuaded him to move away from this innocent guy. We continued our argument in privacy, getting closer to the cliff. I was standing with my back to it and accidentally took a step back. I fell straight down due to my clumsiness and lack of attention." I paused and looked at Edward, trying to figure out his thoughts.

A mixture of anger, surprise and some other unreadable range of emotions was on his face. He met my eyes and quickly turned away.

"I don't even know what to say. Please tell me this idiot at least tried to help you in some way." Edward closed his eyes and pinched his nose. "I can't believe you almost died because of some insecure jerk."

"No, I think he got scared and ran away. When I fell, after a while I came to my senses and there was no one at the cliff. And even more so, Carlisle most likely wouldn't have dared to help me if there were witnesses nearby. At least he couldn't have helped me the way he did without random witnesses."

Edward shook his head indignantly. "How could he just leave, I don't get it, you weren't just a random person. You two dated, dammit! Even if he didn't know you! A human fell off a cliff, and he got scared. Unbelievable."

I grinned at his vivid and genuine emotions. Several people reacted this way to my story, but it was the first time I was so grateful to hear empathy.

"I think everyone in this house agrees with you. Although, I can't say that I don't understand his reaction at all. I don't justify him for a second, but I must admit that he was not to blame, he didn't push me off that cliff. I'm solely responsible for what happened. This area was quite familiar to both of us, it was a very popular camping location. And even more so, he understood how it would look in the eyes of the public. The two of us left, clearly arguing, and suddenly it turns out that I fell off a cliff. Everyone would just think that he pushed me off the rocks. He also understood that my father would come to the same conclusion as everyone else. And the chances of convincing a police chief who had just lost his daughter would be very low."

I closed my eyes and mentally imagined my parents. "In answer to your original question about my parents. My father was the youngest police chief in the city, and my mother was a housewife. We were a small but happy family." If vampires could cry, I'd already be in tears by now. "But everything changed once I disappeared. Newborn vampires are very wild the first few months. Some can't get their thirst under control for years. I managed a little faster than usual, but unfortunately it didn't mean anything. I couldn't just come back unexpectedly.

Firstly, I would not be able to explain my nearly one-and-a-half-year disappearance, and secondly, my change in appearance was too noticeable: my eyes were of a different color, my skin was completely different. Even my voice has undergone some changes. Most importantly I'd have still have to be out of their lives after some time, they would have notice that I don't change. It would have been too late by then, anyway, the damage had already been done. Carlisle and I decided to watch them from afar, to find out how everyone explained my loss. Without going into details, my father spent all that time trying to get the truth from Thomas, but he stubbornly argued that I just decided to go home and, probably, met a wild animal. There was no solid evidence to back up or contradict his claims. My tracks stopped in one place and didn't go anywhere further, so they understood that I couldn't go anywhere, but my body was nowhere to be found. Thomas simply wouldn't have had time to hide it. Everyone confirmed that he was gone for no more than 10 minutes, which proved for sure that he immediately returned to the camp."

I closed my eyes and imagined myself in the place of my parents. I didn't even want to know what thoughts were running through their heads then. Edward looked shocked at my story, but he didn't even know how it all ended.

"My loss affected my parents. Тerribly. Mom suddenly got worse from one of her chronic illnesses most likely due to the stress. Dad lost all his sleep in search of me or my body, he walked through all of the nearby woodlands and visited all of the surrounding towns. I desperately wanted to tell them or hint somehow that I was still alive, but I couldn't. Any attempt would only make the situation worse. After a few days of observation, I realized that I simply couldn't see their grief anymore. Then we left, and I returned only five years later. I returned and found out that my mother had died of an illness, and my father, having lived a little longer, was unable to handle a heart attack." I fell silent. If I had just stayed home, their fate would have been very different." These thoughts had been my companion for many years.

I knew that at that moment the whole house was listening to me. It wasn't a secret, but I never voiced these thoughts out loud. I was so immersed in my memories that Edward was able to scare me with his human speed. He squeezed my hand for a short period of time. I looked up at him and saw his concentrated expression.

"Bella, I'm so sorry you had to go through this. I'm sure your parents wouldn't want you to blame yourself for something you didn't do. I would like to blame this coward Thomas for everything, but logically I understand that he, too, is not to blame for anything. He probably didn't want your fight to end like this. There is no one to blame, fortunately or unfortunately." Anger flickered again on Edward's face, but it quickly passed.

I saw that he wonted to say more, but something in my face stopped him. Intellectually, I knew that Edward was right in his judgments, but I just wanted to stay with my opinion. I took another useless breath. In a short space of time, the room had been soaked with Edward's pleasant scent. I had been lucky that when I woke up in my new life, I didn't have any serious problems with self-control. Perhaps such a human trait as stubbornness was able to transform into something useful after waking up, and as a result, I almost always easily resisted the temptation of human blood. But Edward smelled especially good. I think if our paths had crossed in my early years as a vampire, then his scent might have been a real problem for me.

"What happened after you joined Carlisle?"

"All the Cullens have been such a huge support. It was really like I got into some big and friendly family. Alice became my first real best friend, and Rosalie fit perfectly into the role of the big sister that I never had." I chuckled, imagining Rosalie's reaction. She had a difficult character, and everyone knew about it, including herself. But no matter what, I knew that she truly cared for all of us, just showed it in a non-standard way. "Jasper and Emmett were also an incredible support, we were able to hit it off right away. It doesn't even make sense to talk about Carlisle and Esme, these people are saints in my eyes. Although we are not connected by blood, we are a real family in every sense."

For the first time since the beginning of my story, I saw Edward smile.

"I'm glad Carlisle by the will of fate was in the right place at the right time. I can't imagine the life of the Cullens without you." Edward looked away and lowered his voice. "And now my life."

I wasn't sure if his comment was related to the fact that I had chosen to help his family or if it had a far deeper meaning, but I decided not to delve into it yet.

"I'm glad for that too. Even if my first years were far from idyllic, I still think that this is the best alternative to death. I have a family, I have friends in different parts of the world, I can enjoy any of my hobbies without any restrictions. I have what many can only dream of, eternal youth." I smiled weakly, not looking at Edward. "Despite its numerous limitations, this life has its perks."

"Can I ask you one more question? You don't have to answer it." I nodded my consent. "You talked about friends and family, but never said anything about your personal life. Does that mean you're not dating anyone? Haven't you met someone worthy in all these years? "

I smiled slightly at Edward's directness again. Although he was not yet completely open in his attraction, he didn't seem to be shy about flirting with me or hinting at it in any manner.

"It's not as simple a subject as it might seem. You're right, I don't have a boyfriend right now, and that's another truth, I didn't lie at school or yesterday at the restaurant, I really ended my relationship recently. I made a big mistake when I started dating him, I knew from the beginning that it would not end well." I closed my eyes, trying to suppress my anger. I was angry with myself for my reckless behavior. I knew Demetri wasn't my mate, but I got involved with him anyway.

Edward frowned as he analyzed what I had said. He did it every time I mentioned Demetri.

"Was he a vampire too?"

"Yes."

"From Italy?"

"Yes." I was intrigued by his questions.

Edward didn't know enough about the Volturi to piece together all the facts and figure out that Demetri was one of them. He was curious for some other reason, and he didn't seem to be satisfied with my answers, as he frowned even more after them.

"How old is he?" Now I frowned, not understanding what he was getting at.

"You mean how old was he when he was turned, or how old is he really?"

"I meant how many years has he been living on this earth, but now that you asked, I'm interested in both."

"I don't know, really. We hardly talked about it." How could I not notice that we had never even discussed our life before. I was just not interested in knowing anything personal about him, just as he didn't care about my past life. "He looks to be in his twenties, I think. As for his actual age, I'm not sure you want to hear that."

"Why? What could be so scary about his age?"

"Nothing really terrible, but it can be shocking. It's hard for people to imagine that such ancient creatures can walk next to them. By my rough estimate, Demetri was turned a millennium ago."

Just as I thought, Edward's eyes instantly widened at my words. Even for me, it was still strange to hear first-hand stories about some historical events. It's unfortunate that all of this life experience didn't go for the good. Edward looked like he was sick.

"Are you okay? You seem to have turned a little pale. I know this may be unusual, but for our species, it's not that strange or unique. I've met vampires older than this." For example, Aro.

"Yes, but he's so much older than you! Didn't you feel a little weird dating him? He sounds like some kind of molester!"

I instantly felt defensive.

"Edward, firstly, I'm not a child. And I haven't been one for a long time. Secondly, for vampires, age is nothing. We have a much more important criterion for choosing a partner for life together. I understand that you judge by human parameters, but it is not equivalent to ours."

I forced myself to shut up, wondering why I was so offended by his question. I definitely didn't worry about Demetri, he could call him whatever he wanted, and I wouldn't care. But the theme of the difference in age hooked me. I analyzed my emotions, and began to understand the roots of my reaction. Speaking of the age difference, I immediately thought of Edward and me. I was about the same age as his mother, if not older. Perhaps now in his eyes I looked like an almost elderly woman. To my surprise, I realized that I want him to like me! It was important to me how he sees me. I didn't care that he was human, that he was just finishing school, and how wrong it all was. All I cared about was our growing connection.

"Sorry, I don't know why I said that myself. Of course, I know you're not a child. I guess I was really shocked by his age." Edward was obviously surprised by my answer. It was the first time that we disagreed on something.

"Edward, have you changed your opinion about me now that you know my true age?" I froze, waiting for his answer.

"I-I don't know how to answer. Of course, now I see you in a new light." I began to worry more and more, not understanding what he wanted to tell me with this. "But on the other hand, nothing has changed for me. Though I can't help but wonder why you started talking to me in the first place. You must be so bored with me."

"What?"

Only now I began to understand all these questions about age and his reaction. While I was worried that I was much older than Edward, he was worried about being younger.

"Vampires are smarter than humans in general, and given the fact that, unlike me, you already have so many different life experiences, I can't help but feel like an inferior. And trust me, I've never suffered from self-doubt before. I didn't like this new feeling." Edward tried to make it a joke, but I could see that he really cared about this topic.

"Edward, as I said before, vampires are not particularly interested in age. You have a very mature and unique perspective on life, I enjoyed hearing what you had to say. You stand out from the crowd in every sense. It attracts. Even old vampires like me." Edward gave me his crooked smile.

"Bella, you're not old. Even by human standards. I suggest that we drop the age discussion as we have both decided that it does not bother us." Then Edward's smile turned into something a little slyer and a little cocky. "And you attract me too... I mean your unique perspective on life."

Busted!

Thanks for reading and for all your comments! Hope you all had a great time over the holidays.