A/N Thanks to CVH's Quill for beta-ing this chapter!
Colin's first thought upon being smacked in the face with a bonnet is 'Oh no.' He is immediately displaced from his horse and falls into the mud. His second thought is 'Ow.' Then he is inundated with apologies and platitudes. The woman who approached him is young. His final thought about this woman is that she is the first eligible woman he has met that he could see himself marrying. What an odd thought! It is a fleeting thought.
She looks so concerned at him sitting there in the mud, that all he can do is laugh at himself to ease her. "That wasn't very well done of me."
It isn't until later that he learns more about her character. Penelope is clever, funny, and passionate. He can't stop himself from gravitating toward her. She doesn't see him as just another Bridgerton. She has the most information on everyone's secrets in the ton (and he loves a little drama). But she isn't malicious. Her cutting remarks are only pointed at those who tear others down.
Yet, Colin doesn't immediately connect the dots. In fact, he has to stumble upon her in the act to realize it.
When he sneaks into the Bridgerton library midway through Daphne's (and Penelope's) first season, he is shocked to find Penelope there. She must be waiting for Eloise to return. (It'll be some time as Eloise delayed the trip to the modiste in hopes of getting out of it. She failed and now will be there longer as a natural consequence of her actions.) Her head is bowed over a table and her hand is furiously scratching with a quill back and forth across some paper.
Colin keeps a light step and approaches from behind. He debates giving her a light startle for a laugh. But then he sees what she is writing.
It can't be.
Penelope is editing a Lady Whistledown column. One that he has never seen or heard before. His eyes take in the words quickly, and he memorizes them. Backtracking as silently as he entered, Colin escapes.
This has some serious implications. Ones that Colin isn't ready to face just yet. However, the choice is taken from him.
He hears of a plot by the Queen to catch Lady Whistledown. The Queen is planning to have any carriage leaving the ball midway through back to the printer's shop to catch the writer. Penelope is in danger. Even if Colin's feelings are conflicted, he can't let her be in harm's way.
Thinking fast, he only has so much time. The ball is only a quarter of the way through. Locating Eloise, Colin sets up an opportunity for her to hear the same thing he has. Eloise is a great admirer of Lady Whistledown, and will of course do everything possible to protect the writer (and Penelope, even if she doesn't know it yet). Eloise is too young (and hopefully too clueless) to have any real blame fall on her. He, on the other hand, needs an alibi and can't be seen saving Lady Whistledown, drat, Penelope. It'll take some time for him to see them as one person.
It's going to take some time to get used to that.
If nothing else, more of Penelope is revealed to him with this new identity. She is reckless, beautiful, and ambitious. He never stood a chance of not falling in love with her.
It's at the Featherington ball a year after the debacle with Marina that Colin learns Penelope is his soulmate. He had never tried to lie to her. Why would he? Lying is for errant siblings and family pranks.
"Where are we going?" Penelope asks as he pulls her from the main room.
"To the billiards room, to expose your cousin's lies." Colin is horrified. That is not what he tried to say. He meant to lie and say they should get some air outside.
"What?" Penelope asked. "What has Cousin Jack done?"
"He's trying to defraud the ton." At her stricken look, Colin adds. "Don't worry, Pen. I'll always protect you." Oh no! Not again. He hadn't even thought of a lie to say before the truth slipped out.
Before he can deal with the ramifications of this realization, Portia and Jack Featherington barge into the room. Colin confronts Jack in front of both Portia and Penelope and threatens the man. From the fear on his face, Jack Featherington will be a ghost in the wind by tomorrow.
What is this feeling? Colin is on top of the world. Penelope is his soulmate. He has just dispatched her awful cousin.
Pulling her to the dancefloor, Colin can't help himself. "You are special to me." He says just before spinning her. His heart is dancing in his eyes as his feet dance with her.
"As are you, to me." She has a huge smile on her face.
It hits him after the dance ends.
They could be married. He would be able to convince his wife to write a wonderful wedding announcement in her paper …
Wait…Her paper.
Penelope is Lady Whistledown. Obviously, she must have lied to him. There's no way that she could have hidden this if he was her soulmate. That must mean …
Somehow, Penelope is Colin's soulmate, but he isn't hers.
Colin needs some air. He grabs two drinks, throws them back, and then heads outside.
It's at this moment that Fife and his friends find him.
"Are you courting the girl, Bridgerton?" Fife asks.
Colin's heart is in two. He's hurt. While a lie couldn't cross his lips earlier, nothing is stopping a new lie from forming.
"Are you mad, Fife? Not in your wildest fantasies!" Truly only in Colin's wildest fantasies. He has two options, laugh or cry. The men around him choose for him. They laugh, so Colin does too.
Penelope loves Colin. But it's clear that he doesn't love her back. He's her soulmate. She can't lie to him.
But on the flip side, Penelope loathes Colin.
He doesn't want her. They have the most special gift between them. They are soulmates. And he ... doesn't care.
Yes, she's special to him. But it must end there. That's the only explanation for what she overhears after their wonderful dance.
Colin saved her family. And then he ripped out her heart.
He has just declared to all those men that one would have to be mad to court her.
She wishes that he could hurt the way that she hurt. She wishes that he would feel the same heart-wrenching pain she was forced to deal with. She wishes that he could empathize with what it's like to have a family that didn't love him.
The worst part is that she didn't truly wish any of that. She could never actually wish for any of those things to happen to him. They are just errant thoughts that cross her mind as she rails against the world that she's forced to live in - reality.
Thankfully, after tonight the season has ended. She doesn't have to see him for some time. He's planning to leave again - where was it? (She knows very well that it is Greece, but she doesn't want to acknowledge it yet.)