62442. I muttered the numbers as I dialled them on the crooked rotary phone. I stood nervously in the dilapidated red phone booth waiting for the voice to give me instructions.
"Welcome to the Ministry of Magic." the female voice chimed, far friendlier than I thought the occasion merited. "Please, state your name and business."
"Ruby Winston." I said, I always felt awkward saying my own full name. "Muggle-Born Registration." My hand moved to the pocket in my bag where I put the family tree. I rubbed the parchment between my fingers, willing myself to calm down and trying to convince myself that everything will be fine.
"Thank you." the voice said. "Visitor, please take your badge and attach it to the front of your robes."
A red badge slid out of the coin return shoot. The badge read Ruby Winston Muggle-Born. I took the badge and placed it on my shirt below my collar bone.
"Visitor to the Ministry." the voice chimed again. "You are required to submit to a search and present your wand for registration at the security desk, which is located at the far end of the atrium."
A grinding noise sounded as I sank below ground level, descending into the ministry. I was plunged into darkness as the phone booth continued its downward journey. Finally, the darkness opened up into a view of the ministry atrium. The number of people milling about gave it a feel of chaos. I located a fair sized line at the far end, that must be the security desk I noted to myself. I came to a stop and stepped out of the phone booth elevator into the crowd of people moving in every direction. I pushed my way in the direction of the security booth but came to a stop when I saw it.
My heart fell into my stomach and my mouth went dry. The black statue towered over the crowd. A witch and wizard sat on a throne, their features set in superior, verging on arrogant, expressions. The throne upon which they were seated was crafted out of the mangled, contorted bodies of other humans, their faces ugly and grotesque. Some of the faces were crafted with a decidedly stupid look. Muggles. My heart was pounding in my throat and I suddenly felt ill. An inscription below the statue read Magic is Might. Any feelings I had for a chance at even being listened to were quickly draining.
I swallowed hard and continued on my way to the security desk. I wasn't sure if it was the sheer number of people or the blaring red badge on my chest, but I was being jostled about quite a bit. One man with a sneering face hit my shoulder with hard aggression as he passed. I decided it was definitely the badge. My mind was beginning to confirm that I was headed towards an unfavourable future and I wished I'd kissed Severus one more time. I wished I'd done a few more things with Severus one more time. The image of his dark eyes flashed in my mind, the way they looked at me, I wondered if that image would be enough to get me through being near dementors. My nose stung with the sensation of welling tears. No, stop it, Ruby. You are not about to start crying in a Ministry line. I am brave, I am strong, I will not let them break me no matter what happens.
"Next!" a stern looking wizard with slicked back black hair called. My heart gave a hard beat and I stepped forward. "Wand" he demanded, holding out his hand. I took a deep breath and pulled my wand from my pocket, handing it to the Ministry worker. My hands were shaking. "Name."
"Ruby Winston." I whispered against my constricted throat.
"Name." the wizard demanded.
"Ruby Winston." my voice cracked loudly in the middle of my name. I was disappointed in myself that I couldn't even fake being confident at this moment.
A strip flew from the tip of his own wand and attached itself around the middle of mine. I saw my name in red scrawled across the strip. The ministry worker tossed my wand unceremoniously into a box containing a number of other wands. He hadn't even examined it, just marked and discarded it. I wished I wasn't alone. I was beginning to wish I had run when I had the chance, now I didn't even have my wand.
"Courtroom eight on level ten." the man said before making a dismissive motion with his hand. "Next!"
"Courtroom eight?" I asked, panic setting in. "I haven't even registered yet! Courtroom eight?"
"Step aside." the wizard commanded. "You have been given your instructions and if you are going to resist, we will have you detained. Courtroom eight, mudblood." The last word was whispered but it shot through me like ice. I was doomed.
I stepped away from the line, my heart beating like a hummingbird. My vision was swirling at the edges. I closed my eyes and took a deep, calming breath. It was not calming, but I was able to steady myself enough that my vision returned to normal. Courtroom eight level ten. I repeated in my head. I reached my hand into my bag and rubbed the family tree parchment between my fingers. I realised that no one had searched any of my things. I looked back at the table. I guess that's their problem, I shrugged. A small crumb of confidence returned to me with this accidental act of defiance.
I tried pushing my way through the bustling crowd, when I felt a hand wrap tightly around my arm just above my elbow. I was pulled off my own course onto a different one. I looked over to find a blonde ministry wizard at my side. A panic surged through me. I must have been expected to know that the search was at a different location. Was I being detained? I fought against his grip momentarily but his hold on my arm only tightened. He pulled me to the lifts where one came to a stop and opened. Several ministry workers stood inside, waiting for the lift to continue on.
"Clear out." the blonde holding my arm commanded. Most of the workers looked around at each other but didn't move. "Out!" There was a sense of urgency as the lift cleared out and the ministry worker shoved me into the lift. He pressed a button and we whirred off. He dug a hand into one of his pockets. I wasn't sure what was happening but I fought with everything in me not to break down in tears. I could feel my hands shaking and my heart pounding. "Take this, now." the ministry worker muttered, pushing something into my hand.
I held out my hand to look at what I had just been given. A small glass vile swirling with a golden liquid sat in the palm of my hand. I looked up with confusion at the ministry worker. "What?"
"Take it!" he urged. "Quickly, before we come to a stop."
I knew there were counterfeit potions going around. Some of them had very bad effects, including death. This one looked very much like Felix Felicis. I hesitated but considered that my alternative to death was also death so I removed the stopper and took a small sip, leaving most of the contents inside the bottle. I replaced the stopper and waited. A pleasant warmth began seeping through my body and I experienced a blissful calm. "It's real." I whispered.
There was a quick moment of silence where the ministry worker just stared at me. "I'm a little disappointed how willing you were to take a random potion given to you by a stranger," he said. "I thought I'd have to fight with you more."
I hesitated a moment. I almost felt as if I was in some sort of daze and my mind was clouded. My hands were no longer shaking and my heart was calmly beating, but still, something felt wrong. "Do I know you?" I asked.
The lift came to a stop at a floor that must have been chosen by a previous occupant that was forced to vacate in the atrium. The blonde man grabbed my arm again. Several people looked as though they were about to board but hesitated. He merely shook his head and no one entered before the doors closed and the lift whirred off again. "The potion just finished brewing this weekend," he said quickly, "I needed a way to get it to you. This guy," he indicated pointing to his own face. "Has high enough standing that not a lot of people would question anything he does. He's also quite stupid and easy to overtake, even for me."
My brain felt submerged in thick syrup. It was moving too slowly, despite this, I felt as though everything would work out even though my ability at quick thought was how I navigated my entire life. "I don't…" I trailed off as the door opened again. No one was waiting on this floor and the lift quickly moved on.
"It's me." the blonde man said. "Severus." He said his name with such a hushed tone that I almost didn't hear him. "I haven't slept at all since we last spoke. I was worried about you." The doors opened again. "Get out!" He shouted, when a short, bald wizard tried to enter. He leapt back in surprise before the doors closed and the lift buzzed away. "I had forgotten about the search. They weren't going to let you in with your family tree and if they had caught you with Felix Felicis. Automatic arrest, I'd think."
I reached my hand into my bag and pulled out the rolled piece of parchment. Severus' new face contorted in disbelief. "No one searched me. They were so determined to force me into a rigged trial that they didn't search me or my belongings." I tucked the parchment back into my bag right as the door opened. This time we were at level ten. I stepped out into the deserted hall. It was oddly cold. "This has made me feel better, though." I said, holding up the vial and swirling the remaining liquid. "I feel more confident that everything is going to be alright."
The lift doors began to close but he caught them quickly with his hand and in one swift movement, scooped me into his arms and pressed his lips urgently to mine. I closed my eyes in an effort to forget that the person I was kissing was someone I didn't know. The way he held me and the way his lips parted mine felt like Severus but the size of the hands and the feel of his lips was off. I pulled away.
"Mhm," I said, pressing my lips together, "Well, that felt odd. Mind if we pick back up on that after I'm finished with my trial and you have your own body back?"
"What if they send you to Azkaban and there is no after the trial for us?" he asked, pushing a rogue curl out of my face.
"I feel like I have a very good chance." I assured him. "Liquid luck and a Ministry stamped family tree? I'm unstoppable."
"What if I brewed a bad batch and it doesn't work right?" he asked, twirling one of my curls between his fingers.
"You brew a bad potion?" I asked and shook my head. "Never happened."
A distinctly Severus smirk tugged at the corner of the Ministry worker's mouth. "First time for everything, right?"
I took his unfamiliar feeling face into my hands and pulled his lips to mine. I was imagining Severus but feeling someone else and the whole experience was off putting. I wanted to enjoy it, I even made up a scenario where this was the last time I would have the opportunity to kiss him in a last ditch effort to find pleasure in our kiss but, I couldn't shake the feeling that everything was wrong. I pulled away with an odd feeling of sadness mixed with the confidence of liquid luck. I stitched my brows together trying to figure out my own emotions.
"Is something wrong?" he asked.
I shook my head before hesitating. "I feel sad, but also, fine? Maybe it is a bad batch."
His head turned towards a door to the side. "Ah," he said, "That would be from the dementors."
"What?" I said, feeling the colour draining from my face.
"It's the reason why no one comes down to this floor anymore. They keep dementors outside the courtrooms as a means of sending those on trial into a state of helpless desolation. It's a cheap trick and gives the Ministry an unfair advantage when they face off against people who have already given up. Not that many people have much of a chance when the Ministry decides to put them on trial anyways." I nodded my head and looked down at my hands, picking absentmindedly at my nail polish. "But you do." he assured me as he took one of my hands and squeezed it in his. "Give them hell, Ruby." He turned back to the area where the lift would arrive, but I held tightly to his hand.
He turned back to me. "Come with me?" I whispered.
His eyebrows lifted. "I won't be able to be a comforting presence. I've got to keep up appearances."
"I just want you there. You are inherently comforting to me, I…just want you there until I have to go into the courtroom." His face remained serious as he nodded his head. He took me gently by the hand and walked with me towards the door. He squeezed my hand before sliding his up to my elbow and opening the door. He pushed me through the door in front of him.
A rush of cold soaked into my skin. I could see the black, hooded figures floating up ahead. The feeling of absolute sadness intensified and warred with the feeling of the Felix Felicis. I felt his hand squeeze my arm in reassurance. There were a few people sitting on hard wooden benches. Some of them were by themselves, others had family or friends. A few looked in our direction as we made our way over. Severus tugged down on my arm, making me sit on one of the benches and he stood next to me with folded arms and a scowl on his face.
I sat in silence, feeling the oppressive weight of the dementors. I could hear faint whispers from the families and friends consoling their loved ones. My brain swam in the lulled current of the potion but my body was feeling the effects of the creatures raggedly breathing above me. I was cold and sad but also secure in the fact that everything would be perfect. I felt ill but extremely well. My brain and my feelings were fighting against each other and I was feeling everything all at once. I let my hand fall from my lap, finding Severus close enough that I could discreetly grab a bit of his robes between my index and middle fingers. The grounding his presence provided made me feel a little better.
"Winston, Ruby." a woman with iron grey hair and matching coloured robes called from what I could only assume was courtroom eight. I turned to say goodbye to Severus but when I turned to where he had been I saw only a closing door. My heart dropped but I took a deep breath and stood up.
Give them hell, Ruby. I repeated his words in my head. The words acted as my own mental Patronus and I felt better.
I walked into a small room with the most uncomfortable looking chair I had ever seen sitting in front of a rather extensive group of witches and wizards. A woman resembling a toad dressed in varying shades of pink stood in front of a podium. A patronus shielded her from the dementors floating in the corner, peering down on me.
The woman cleared her throat and I immediately disliked her. "Miss Winston, is it? I am Delores Umbridge, Head of the Muggle-Born Registration Committee. You are here today because you have not provided sufficient evidence that you have come by your magic honestly and are therefore charged with magical theft. Is this clear?"
An anger suddenly boiled inside of me. "Have not provided sufficient evidence?" I asked. "No one has even inquired into my background, of course I haven't been able to provide sufficient evidence." My tone was mocking and I was caught off guard by my own boldness.
"I'm sure that's not true." Umbridge said with a sickly sweet tone that made me want to strangle her with her own ugly bow. "When you arrived this morning you were asked to fill out a registration card that would contain–"
"No," I interrupted her.
Her falsely sweet demeanour was beginning to crack. "Pardon?"
"No," I reiterated. "I was not asked to fill out any kind of registration card. My wand was taken, marked, and thrown into a bin. I was then instructed to report to level ten courtroom eight. I have filled out nothing."
Umbridge looked down at her podium, leafing through a small collection of papers. "Our records indicate that you are the offspring of two muggles, meaning, there can be no reason for you to possess–"
"Your records are wrong." I interrupted again.
"I assure you that our records are–" she continued.
"Wrong, yes, we are in agreement." I said.
"Miss Winston, if you interrupt me again–"
"I have a Ministry stamped family tree," I said, reaching into my bag to remove the rolled parchment, "That indicates that my grandfather was a half-blood wizard and I am, therefore, the magical child of a squib."
"How did you get that past security?" she demanded.
I shrugged. "No one searched me. Seems like a training issue. A bit beneficial for me, though, I must say. I can only imagine if I had been searched, this document would have conveniently disappeared."
Umbridge used her wand to summon the family tree from my hands to her pile of notes. Her eyes took in the Ministry seal and the contents of the document. Her fakely sweet expression melted off of her face. "Where did you get this?" she demanded. "This document must…be a forgery. Our records indicate…" Another member of the panel got out of his seat and moved to look at the document. He ran his fingers over the spot I knew contained the seal. He shook his head.
"This document is not a forgery." he said in a raspy, ageing voice. "The seal contained in the corner is legitimate and not falsely replicated. Therefore, the information contained within that document is to be taken as the word of the Ministry. Such information does indicate that Miss Winston is of magical heritage and not subject to the sentencing of this trial."
Other members of the panel began whispering to one another while Delores Umbridge's face became a more vibrant shade than the rest of her outfit. "That is not possible!" she shouted. "Our records clearly indicate that Miss Winston is a muggle-born with no knowledge of magic prior to her acceptance into Hogwarts, an acceptance that was also stolen since she is a muggle!"
"I had no knowledge because my grandfather chose to leave the Wizarding World to marry my grandmother. He died having never shared his secret with any of us, not even my grandmother. How could I possibly be aware of something I was never told about?"
Umbridge's face was darkening to red. The rest of the panel continued talking amongst themselves, much to her annoyance. "SILENCE!" She shouted. "You, Miss Winston, are a liar and a cheater. I could have you shipped off to Azkaban for lying to the panel. Or, I could have the dementors take care of you right now."
I looked up to the corner. The dementor floating there appeared to drift slightly closer. I was only partially aware of my shaking hands and quicken breathing, my brain was still wrapped in Liquid Luck and reality was strangely muffled.
"Delores," The man who confirmed the seal spoke. "The panel is ready to vote."
She sneered at him but cleared her throat in her irritating manor, recomposing herself. "Very well," she said sweetly. "All in favour of sentencing Miss Winston to life in Azkaban for theft of magic, raise your hand." She raised her hand confidently while the rest of the panel remained motionless. She sneered again and spoke again through clenched teeth. "All opposed?" The rest of the panel all raised their hands. "Well, Miss Winston, consider this your lucky day, but I would tread carefully if I were you."
Her threat hit me like a feather. "May I have my family tree back?" She used her wand to catapult the document at my face. I raised my hand and caught it easily. "Thank you." I said with the same fakely sweet tone that she had been using. She then threw a second item in the same fashion; my wand, which landed softly in my bag sitting on the floor. "Marvellous aim."
"Get out!" She screeched, to the shock of the entire panel.
I tucked the parchment into my bag and curtsied at the panel before exiting the courtroom. I was met with shocked looks from those still awaiting their own trials. I scurried quickly from the dementor heavy hallway into the area the lift had left me with Severus. I had hoped that he would have waited for me here but I was alone. I pressed the button to summon the lift and waited in silence.
I was aware that what I had just accomplished was extraordinary but I felt like a barrier was keeping me from feeling anything. The only thing I felt was confidence. The feeling was beginning to wear thin and the inklings I was having for what I should do were fading. I was tired and drained. The remaining muffled feeling from the potion added to these feelings as I made my way out of the Ministry. My body felt heavy and my mind was foggy. The only thing I could think about was getting home, which would be a journey, I was in no mental capacity to apparate. I exited the phone booth in Great Scotland Yard, turned the corner and headed for the Charing Cross station.
I closed my door behind me and threw my keys on the table. I leaned my back against the door and slid to the floor. I was exhausted; physically, mentally, and probably several other ways that hadn't been discovered yet. I slid the rest of the way to the floor, lying flat on my back looking up at the ceiling. Sitting up had been too much work. Keeping my eyes open was exhausting, so I let them close.
A crash sounded from the bedroom followed by a loudly whispered "Shit". My eyes flew up and I sat up straight. I was suddenly wide awake, my blood surging with adrenaline. Someone was in my flat. I pulled my wand from my pocket and walked to my bedroom, using my best stealth to remain silent. I crept up to the doorway, I pressed my back to it and took a deep breath. I could hear something scraping lightly on the floor. In one movement I pulled my back from the doorway and leapt into the room, yelling to catch whoever it was off guard.
I was met with a startled yell. "Fuck!"
"Charlie?" I asked, lowering my wand. "What are you doing here?" I took him in. He was wearing casual clothes, he must have had the day off from work. My stomach flopped lamely at the sight of him. Glass shards were scattered across the floor in a pool of liquid. The smell of his cologne wafted heavily in the air. His hands had clenched when I startled him. He released his fist, dropping a bloodied shard of cologne bottle into the shallow puddle. "Oh, God. I'm sorry."
"I didn't expect someone to rush me like a Mediaeval warrior." he gestured to my wand. "Complete with wooden club." His hand dripped blood onto the floor.
"Let me see that." I said, reaching for his hand.
"It's nothing." he said, waving his hand nonchalantly. "'Tis but a flesh wound." A splatter of blood flung onto my wardrobe. His eyes met mine in alarm. "Sorry."
"Give me your hand." I demanded calmly. He laid his hand, palm up, in mine. "You're right, it is only a flesh wound, a very deep, very bloody flesh wound."
"What are you doing at home, anyway?" he asked, watching me. "I was cleaning up my mess and if you hadn't tried to murder me–ouch!"
"Sorry," I apologised. "There's glass wedged in the cut." I tried picking the glass out with my fingers to some loud protesting from Charlie. I looked at the wand that I was holding in an uncomfortable manner to be able to use my fingers. I sighed and rolled my eyes. "Come with me. The smell of your cologne is melting my brain."
I led him gently from the bedroom into the living room by his injured hand. The fragrance free air was a welcome change to my senses. I used a silent incantation to remove the glass from his hand, setting it piece by piece onto my coffee table. I turned his hand and stretched his palm to make sure I had gotten it all.
"Ow!" he yelled, ripping his hand from my grasp. "Stop that!"
I glared at him and snatched his hand back. "Don't be such a baby." I held my wand over the gash. I could feel him studying my face as I looked over his hand. "What?" I demanded, agitated.
"Are you okay?" he asked, his voice gentle. "I don't mean to be rude, but you look like absolute shit."
"I can't imagine how I could take that comment as rude." I said, refusing to meet his eyes. "I had a trial today."
"A trial?" he asked. "Malpractice?" I pressed my thumb down on his cut, pulling a noise that was half yell of pain and half laughter. "I was joking!"
"I remember you being funnier." I quipped. "It was a trial about my blood status."
"Your what?" he asked.
"My world has started throwing people in jail if their parents are non-magical. They're accusing them of stealing magic. There is no real way to defend yourself because the accusations are so ridiculous that there is nothing you can do to prove them false. Anyways, it turns out that I'm not a Muggle-born like I thought I was." I pulled another small piece of glass from his cut.
A loud crack startled me, sending the tip of my wand into his wound inciting a growling yell from him.
"Susan with impeccable timing, as always." Charlie snarked.
I looked up over Charlie's shoulder expecting to see who he expected. "Severus." I said in surprise. Charlie pulled his hand from my grasp and spun around.
Severus' eyes were wide as he took in the scene of me standing in my flat with a man he didn't recognise. He looked almost embarrassed as though he had caught us in the middle of something far more scandalous. "I'm sorry I…just wanted to make sure…the trial…I'll go."
"No!" I said immediately, desperately. "Don't." I was relieved that he looked like himself again. I wanted to rush to him, hug him, kiss him, but Charlie's presence made me feel awkward. I wasn't sure if I should show affection to Severus in front of him or if that would be rude. I'd never been in this situation before and I wasn't sure how to navigate it. "He was just collecting his things." I said, gesturing to Charlie. "He dropped a bottle, I didn't know he was here, he mashed a bunch of glass into his palm." I motioned to the little bits of glass on my table. "I was helping."
"So, you're Severus." Charlie said, looking him very obviously up and down. Severus stiffened. "You've certainly got the mysterious, brooding thing down. I'm Charlie." He offered his hand to shake Severus'.
"Charlie." Severus said, his eyes flicking to me. "Your hand is dripping."
Charlie recoiled his hand and turned back to me. I gave his hand another look over. The glass appeared to all be gone. "Ferula." A bandage flew from the tip of my wand and wrapped itself around Charlie's hand.
There was a moment of silence where we all stood awkwardly surveying one another.
"This is sufficiently uncomfortable." Charlie remarked. "I'm going to finish grabbing my stuff." He nodded at Severus as he passed him on his way back to the bedroom.
I smiled stiffly at Severus. I couldn't imagine what he thought. "Don't touch the glass!" I called after Charlie suddenly. "I'll clean it up in a bit!"
"Are you alright?" Severus asked. "You're here so I assume the trial was alright?"
I nodded my head. "I'm a free woman."
"Who's he?" Severus blurted, jerking his head in the direction Charlie disappeared.
"Oh," I could feel my cheeks burning red. "Charlie and I…used to date. He's finally come to collect his belongings he left here."
What little colour that existed in Severu's cheeks drained. "How long?"
"How long did we date or how long ago did we stop?" I asked. I shook my head. "I'm sorry, mind if we skip this?"
"He's ridiculously good looking." Severus observed.
"Bit annoying, isn't it?" I asked.
"What happened?" he asked, not looking at me. "To end it, I mean."
I looked at his side profile as he looked in the direction of my bedroom, noises of Charlie moving things could be heard. "You."
He snapped his head to look at me. "Me?"
"Charlie is great, but he never made me feel like I do when I'm with you." Butterflies fluttered in my gut as his eyes held mine.
He wrapped his arms suddenly around me. His embrace was tight and I let the feeling of his body pressed against mine wash over me. "I'm so relieved you're okay." he said, into the crook of my neck. I felt his lips press against the delicate skin there. I melted into him and let the electricity from his lips run through me. It was hard to believe that just a few hours ago I was worried I'd never experience him like this again.
"I was so scared." I whispered. "I was afraid I'd never see you again, never see Susan again, my parents, my brothers, anyone. There were so many times I considered just running, but I knew I would be disappointed in myself for being a coward."
"You wouldn't have been a coward." he assured me, pulling me into another tight hug.
"I couldn't have done any of this without you." I could feel the tears welling.
"You're more amazing than you give yourself credit for, you would have figured something out." he said, as he planted a soft kiss against my temple.
"I love you so unbelievably much." I gently took his face in my hands and pulled him softly to my lips. The feeling was so much better than the kisses from this morning that it was ridiculous. I pulled myself harder against him, wanting to have him like this, always.
"Ahem," a cough sounded from the side. Severus and I separated automatically. Charlie stood with his arms full of suit bags and a smaller bag of his toiletries. "I have everything I want, if you find something of mine feel free to throw it. There shouldn't be much, if any."
"Do you need any help?" I asked. My question was quickly met with a shake of Charlie's head.
"Goodbye, Ruby," he said, "I hope everything works out for you. Stay safe." He turned his attention to Severus, his brow furrowing. "You better take care of her, she can be headstrong and reckless."
A small smirk pulled at the corner of Severus' mouth. It had barely come into existence before it disappeared. "I'm aware."
Charlie smiled. It was a smile that would have made me weak in the knees just a few months ago, but now, it was just a smile. "Good luck." He nodded at us as he made his way to the door. I heard it close behind him and knew that Severus and I were alone. A part of me was sad that I knew I would never see Charlie again.