Chapter 2: Jeremy

Dexter heard a knock at his door. He had just climbed into bed and didn't want to open it, but it was probably Deb. With the body under Perry's porch and the man himself missing, she probably wanted to run something by him. He didn't want to be up, but with his perception of his secretive friend drowned in disappointment, he may as well.

He called out that he was coming and pulled on a shirt. Tried to at least appear sleepy and hobbled to the door "Deb, its the middle of the ni-" He complained as he opened it and it caught on jam, along with his words.

It wasn't his sister standing outside his door. It wasn't his sister who had waited for his lights to go off before knocking. What the hell?

"I'm sorry. I followed you." The timid voice mumbled awkwardly "I didn't know what else to do..."

Jeremy Downs stood on his landing, nervous and anxious and, by the looks of him, terrified. This wasn't good.

"Put your knife through the door." Dexter instructed him sternly.

The kid jumped at his tone but did as he was told after a moment... No blood on his hands the older man observed. Dexter took the blade and unclasped the door. He opened it just enough to gesture the young man inside and check that none of his neighbours had been up to see. It was dark. There was a reason he had chosen this appartment and he had rarely been so pleased with himself over that decision.

The door firmly locked back in place, Jeremy huddled himself awkwardly beside the kitchen counter. Hands firmly placed in front of himself and clasped together in an attempt to stop the shaking. It hadn't worked.

"What are you doing here, Jeremy?" Dexter asked, every muscle ready to spring into action if the kid tried anything, though his appartment was hardly the best place to kill an intruder. A dozen possibilities, solutions and excuses already ran through his mind's eye, though they all came up short when Jeremy answered, and Dexter knew he was telling the truth.

"I wanted to k... do it again." Jeremy admitted, not making eye contact "I had him... in an alley down on x street and it would have been so easy. I wanted to so bad but I..." He shuffled awkwardly and his hands shifted to clutch at the denim of his jeans "I knew you would find out and... I've never... Fuck, this is hard."

Dexter stared and ultimately decided that his late night visitor wasn't a threat, for now. He let out a long sigh, rubbed at his temples irritatedly and brushed past Jeremy to get to the kettle. Coffee was the last thing he needed at this hour, but it sounded good. Scratch that, a convicted fellon, not even old enough to drink, showing up at his home in the middle of the night was the last thing he needed. He flicked the switch and the water began to boil as he instinctively grabbed two cups. Normal people offered guests drinks. Maybe this, whatever it was, could be a good distraction from the utter farce his sister was making stick to Perry. Meeting your heroes, or their aluminum house, was overrated.

"Coffee?" He offered calmly.

"What?" Jeremy mumbled.

"Coffee, do you want it?" Dextor elaborated.

"I just told you I wanted to kill someone, and you're offering me coffee?" The delinquent tried to confirm, clearly perplexed.

Good. Despite his apparent nerves, Jeremy was a killer, a predator with teeth and claws "Would you prefer I kick you out?"

Jeremy's head shot up in panic and shook vehemently 'no'. He struggled to get words out around his confusion but finally answered the question "Yeah. Um... to the coffee."

Dexter took his time brewing, grinding the beans and pouring the water into the filter "Talk." He said as he took a hold of the plunger "It doesn't matter if it doesn't make sense. Why did you come here?"

Jeremy's arms came up to hug himself but he forced out the words to comply "It's stupid... I thought if you didn't answer, it would be like... permission... or something?"

"To kill again?" Dexter confirmed.

Jeremy nodded "Yeah. I had this... weird feeling you would know it was me, when it hit the news." His eyes caught Dexter's steely gaze and the kid might have blushed. It was difficult to tell in the dim night light "That it was me, somehow. That you'd find me again."

Dexter couldn't fathom why on earth Jeremy would want that, so he asked.

Jeremy answered after a moment too long "I don't know."

"Lie to me again and I'll call the cops. Tell them you broke in." Dexter threatened casually "Cream and sugar?"

Jeremy had the decency to cower under the threat and he nodded "One... I... When you found me the last time, it felt... different."

"Different from what?" The killer hedged, leaving his own coffee black and butchering the kid's.

"From what I usually feel." Jeremy all but whispered.

"What do you usually feel?" Dexter pushed, pouring the fresh brew into the cups.

Jeremy's lips quivered and he looked like he was about to cry "Nothing." He finally managed to spit out "Fucking nothing at all. I can't stand it. Living inside my head. The only times I've felt anything different was killing the son of a bitch who raped me and having your hand around my neck. The nothing is just... its been so bad since you..."

"Stopped you from following your urges?" Dexter hummed, sliding the coffee across the counter as Jeremy nodded.

"I needed to feel somthing. Anything. Revenge made me feel powerful, you made me scared. It's better than nothing." His breath hitched with a sob but he pushed through "Please... I just..." He trailed off "I need this."

Dexter stared at the pathetic excuse of a criminal before him. It wasn't difficult to acknowledge that this would most likely have been him if Harry hadn't saved him. Then again, he had never been emotional about his lack of emotion. Jeremy fidgited as the older man thought over his options. Harry had needed to keep a constant eye on him when he was Jeremy's age, keep him in line and constantly remind him of the code. Yet here was someone so like his younger self, who had managed to keep himself in check, mostly. He chose to put himself in danger to get his fix instead of spilling blood.

Dexter got the sense he had underestimated Jeremy. Given him some fortune-cookie advice all those months ago and here stood the consequences of that very same bullshit advice.

He picked up the boy's cup and stepped up close to him, slowly took his wrist to bring his hands up around the hot ceramic "Are you scared now?" He asked, deliberately keeping the curiosity out of his tone.

Jeremy shook like a leaf, yet his out of place smile was one of relief "Yeah." He admitted with a nod "Like, really fucking scared."

"Why?" Dexter wondered, letting go of the young man but not stepping back.

Jeremy swallowed loudly and his knuckles turned white around the cup "I... I know you didn't just come to get your wallet back." The words couldn't have been louder than a whisper, almost like he was worried they might be overheard "I know you..." He swallowed thickly again, gazing up the few inches Dexter had over his hunched form "I know you came to... punish me."

"Why would I do that?" Dexter frowned, feigning confusion but could not deny the small marble of interest at the conviction.

"You knew about... what I did." Jeremy's breath was coming fast and panicked and Dexter wondered if the guy might pass out "You knew what I was going to do to Lucas." He pushed out a little more determinedly "You said you wanted me silent. Only stopped when you... when I... I've never told anyone other than you what happened to me. Why I... killed Jake. No one else knows why, just that I did. Its so god damned stupid, but thinking about it more and more just made you more scary and it... it worked for a while. Even if it was only something as pathetic as fear, it took away the emptiness for a little bit." Jeremy reached forward to place the mug back in the counter. He was shaking too much, and tears had made his eyes shiny "And then it started fading and I couldn't hold on to it and I..." A sob cut the sentence in two "And the nothing came back and so did the urge to kill and I just... I... I just needed this."

"I'm a lot like you." Dexter hummed conversationally, slightly ammused to have Jeremy's face pinch from terror to disbelief "Yeah, sure. You're a killer?" He asked disbelievingly.

"I'm empty." Dexter told him simply. Wow... while he couldn't put a name to it, admitting it to another person did make him feel some sort of way "But I've found a way to make it less... bottomless."

Jeremy let out a small, startled noise that soulded like the last hope of a wounded animal "How?"

"You pretend the feelings are real." Dexter replied, twisting to set down his own cup. If the kid was disappointed by his method, he might act out and hot liquid would hurt "Who knows, maybe someday they will be?"

Jeremy stared at him, disbelieving "You don't sound convinced." He hedged "Has it worked for you?"

Dexter shook his head "I don't think so. But whatever it is, it got into me too young. I suspect you were normal before Jake?" He deliberately asked it like a question.

"Yeah, but I can't remember what it feels like." Jeremy nodded dejectedly "I keep trying too, but the memories don't come with any feelings. Its like nothing existed before I became... I guess... hollow?"

Dexter considered his words carefully before asking his next question "Are you still scared?"

Jeremy shrugged "A little... what are you feeling?"

"Frustrated." Dexter eventually settled on after a beat.

"I could um... help with that." Jeremy offered, half offhanded and half eaget "If you wanted."

It took a minute for Dexter to catch on but, when he did, it clearly showed on his face. He didn't even get to take an instinctive step back, before Jeremy's hands were in his shirt and the convict's lips were on his. Dexter pulled back but Jeremy followed until the older man slammed his attacker back into the nearest wall. Jeremy gasped in pain and then he couldn't breathe because Dexter's hand was around his throat and squeezing hard.

The kid barely struggled, mostly let it happen as his face started going red. It would be so easy to finish him off like this. He was making it so easy -

Dexter ripped himself away and Jeremy dropped to the floor, coughing and gasping as sweet, sweet oxygen filled his lungs so fast it made him dizzy. Dexter towered above him angry and the young man choked on a whine.

"I'm scared now." Jeremy rasped, the grateful smile on his face unusually pleased, and his gaze turned selfishly inward.

Dexter found himself impressed that the kid had played him into giving him exactly what he'd wanted, and annoyed with himself for falling for it "Good." He grunted "Now get out."

Jeremy's eyes went wide and he shot forward to grab at the red-head's legs "Please." He begged "I need more."

Having seen though the ploy now, Dexter stayed still and didn't kick him "No, you want more." He corrected "What you want won't make it feel any less bottomless."

"Then pretend with me." Jeremy cried insistantly "Please."

"Nothing I do to you will last and I've got too many things going on right now to become your next excuse." Dexter huffed, rubbing his forehead in irritation "You said if I tried to fuck you, you'd kill me. So why would I risk it?"

"Because I'm begging you." Jeremy whimpered, pulling himself to his knees and and hooked his hands around the back of the man's calves to keep him from running "And you know I meant it like... if you did it without my consent."

There was a long silence as Dexter considered his options. Jeremy quietly stared up at him from the floor, until he swallowed thickly and misguidedly attempted to sweeten the deal "Can I suck you off while you think about it?"

He didn't really wait for Dexter to agree before he was easing the man's boxers down to catch on his thighs.

Dexter rolled his eyes when Jeremy pushed his face into his crotch and began mouthing along his flacid cock. If it kept the guy busy, why not? He spread his legs a little more and Jeremy nesstled in with a contented sigh.

His side hussle at Flamingo Park had clearly had him developing some skill. Dexter wasn't exactly small, but Jeremy swallowed him down with little effort, and worked him to hard quickly.

Unsurprisingly, it was more difficult to think with a wet, warm mouth on his dick.

"You're pretty good at that, Jeremy." Dexter hummed, curling a hand around the back of the young man's head. He felt him jump nervously at the touch, but Jeremy didn't even try to pull away "How about this; if you put your hands down the back of your pants and fuck your fingers, I'll fuck your throat for you?"

Jeremy's cheeks turned a deep shade of pink. Embarrassment? Something Dexter couldn't exactly relate too but an emotion he pretended often enough.

Jeremy swallowed around him and arched his back as he did as he was told. He pulled a packet of lube from his own pocket and coated his fingers with it. His chest puffed out and his back arched as he did as he was told, reached into the back of his pants with both hands - one to hold himself open and the other to press two fingers inside... self imposed bondage and no more barriar of a full fist between his lips and the base of Dexter's cock.

Even though the man went slowly, Jeremy still gagged and thrashed every time the head of Dexter's dick hit the back of his throat. His knees spread wide when it finally pushed past the barrier of constriction and slid deep down his throat. Head forced up to take it, Dexter could look down into those now foggy eyes. He wondered what the point of all this was if Jeremy was just going to fade off into nothingness anyway. He smacked the kid's cheek, only just hard enough to bring him back to the present. When those eyes refocused, he settled in deep and calmly traced the seam of the young man's lips where they stretched wide.

"Stop hiding. If you do, you'll remember this wrong."

Jeremy fidgited then settled again when the hand tracing his lips slipped lower to hook under his chin. His pulse fluttered a mile a minute beneath Dexter's fingers and that felt nice. He pressed against it and Jeremy jerked, a wet spot appearing on the front of his jeans as he came from the action.

Dexter considered snapping the kid's neck. He was a problem waiting to happen, but instead, he held him still as he slid out of his mouth slowly and pulled him to his feet.

Jeremy was practically putty and he leaned heavily on Dexter, hands shaky as they tangled up in the killer's hair and dragged him down for a kiss. Dexter kind of liked the taste of himself on Jeremy's tongue, and curled an arm more firmly around his waist to hold him close. His shirt slid up and the skin of his lower back was warm where his jeans were still hooked under the curve of his ass.

"Better?" Dexter asked when the criminal finally pulled away for breath.

"But you're still..." Jeremy pleaded breathily, unwilling to accept the obvious attemt at a dismissal "Fuck me."

"I don't fuck gentle." Dexter lied. He could, had done so for Rita "No reason to ruin a good thing." He added with a shrug.

The look of surprise that distorted Jeremy's features was almost comical. His mouth opened and closed without words coming out and his brows frowned cutely together in confusion "Seriously?" He finally managed to spit out "I could leave right now and you wouldn't be mad I didn't... you know?"

For someone who'd just asked to be fucked, it was interresting that he couldn't say the words now. Dexter nodded and loosened his arm around the man to emphasize his point. He even stepped back but Jeremy followed him, clinging to him tightly.

He was thinking, Dexter could practically see the thoughts racing behind his eyes, at war with what he wanted vs what he thought he should do.

Still holding him loosely, Dexter made space for him between his legs as he leaned back against the kitchen island and gave him time. It's what his younger self would have neeed.