Thanks to everyone who continues to read this.
Chapter 5: Brothers
The next morning Lizzy and the family sat down for pancakes and Lizzy was surprised when Matt sat down next to her at the kitchen island. "I can't ask what happened. I'm not sure I want to know—"
"No, you want to know but you don't think I'll tell you." Lizzy took the plate of pancakes from her nonna then passed them directly to Matt. "Sorry, I haven't eaten plain pancakes since I was ..." Lizzy trailed off thinking as her grandmother watched her confused.
"Two. She spat them all over Alicia. She won't touch them now," Matt supplied drenching the pancakes in strawberry and maple syrup. Lizzy looked at her brother at his mention of their former step-mother. It had only been six weeks since she was out of their lives but it seemed odd that Matt's mention of her was just as simple as if he was mentioning an old neighbor. There was no hatred in his tone but at the same time no caring either. She was just another name.
"What do you expect me to do?" Nonna asked bewildered. She glanced at her son who shrugged, looking as lost as she did.
"Chocolate chips?" Matt asked, glancing at Lizzy.
Lizzy nodded. "Hey—" Lizzy stopped and stared at the guy in front of the refrigerator. For the life of her she couldn't think of his name. Matt followed his sister's gaze then rolled his eyes. It was all he could do to keep from laughing. The only other blonde in the room and his sister couldn't remember their brother's name.
"Green Bean, chocolate chips, please," Matt said. Ben looked back at his brother then rolled his eyes before opening the cabinet above the refrigerator, grabbing the bag, and handing it to his grandmother. Soon Lizzy was eating chocolate chip pancakes. "So you said that you thought I think you won't tell me."
"Weren't you at a game today?" Lizzy changed the subject.
"Last night, and tomorrow. So? Why would I think you wouldn't tell me?" Matt pushed. The blond third-line center was not going easy on his little sister even as she pouted. When he didn't melt to her puppy dog pout she sighed and set her face with a determined stare.
"Because you know I won't. Mattie, I love you, but you're my big brother. If I tell you," Lizzy spun her chair towards the kitchen table where all her brothers were sitting, "any of you, you're going to want to do something about it," Lizzy told them all.
"Tell them what, Lizzy?" Nonna asked.
"They know what I'm talking about," she answered, setting her fork on her now empty plate.
"You mean that your boyfriend cheated on you and that you dumped him?"
"Nonna," Lizzy said, outraged at her grandmother. She couldn't believe her grandmother had just said that. She wasn't even sure how the matriarch had known. She wasn't supposed to know and now that her brothers knew, Dean Portman was in for some serious hatred if they ever came across him. Even though Chris, Ben, and Seth were in college and wouldn't be able to drop in on Portman at a moment's notice, Matt owned the childhood home where the Jacobs kids had grown up, in Stillwater, Minnesota. On top of that with Star being so close to the Portman family, Matt could convince her to go home and then make a little side trip to visit the Portman home where he could talk some sense into the enforcer. Lizzy feared that ever happening. As much as she hated what Portman had done, he didn't deserve Lizzy's most protective brother coming down on him.
Lizzy looked at her brothers to see that their expressions ranged from disbelief to shock and were slowly settling in on anger. Unable to face what Lizzy knew was coming, those boys would want to know every little detail, she bolted up to her room.
Matt's green eyes turned to his god-brother and narrowed. "Fulton, our honorary little brother," Matt started. The boy knew everything, even if he wasn't sure what he knew. Matt wanted to make sure he knew everything before he counseled his sister what to do and then made a trip out of his way to Chicago. Unfortunately Lizzy didn't hear anymore after slamming her door. She wasn't sure she wanted to hear Fulton's response or hear what happened. This time it was Chris's girlfriend Danni came after her. Of her brothers' girlfriends, Danni was the sweetest. There wasn't a mean bone in her body. She was also the only brunette. Matt's and Ben's girlfriends were redheads and Seth's was a blonde.
"Hi," Danni said from the doorway. Lizzy didn't answer her. "May I come in?" Lizzy continued to lay on her stomach and not say anything. Danni took this to be a good thing so she entered the room and leaned against the dresser. "I'm not completely sure what I should say to you. I have an older brother and when he met Chris, it was awkward to say the least. My big brother has always wanted to protect me too. It's part of who they are. Seeing their little sister hurt, it hurts them even more than they care to admit."
"How did she know?" Lizzy glanced back at Danni who looked at her with a sympathetic smile.
"They all knew, sweetie. Charlie told Gordon who told Casey who told your grandmother."
"And my brothers?"
"You honestly think Charlie kept it from them?"
"I wish he would have." A tear slipped down her face. Danni walked over the bed and sat down next to Lizzy. She touched her hand gently. Danni wasn't sure if the girl was more hurt by Charlie's betrayal or by what had happened between her and Portman.
"Charlie didn't tell your brothers." Lizzy looked back again and this time saw Star in the doorway. "Fulton did, by accident," Star finished. The redhead smiled sadly as she came over to the bed. Lissy hadn't been completely forthcoming with what Dean had told her happened but apparently Lissy had gotten the gist and let Star know that Dean had screwed up and felt really bad about it, even though there was a chance that it wasn't what it had looked like.
"How does that even make sense?" Lizzy asked. She rolled onto her side then sat up making sure not to kick Danni. Star moved to lean back against Lizzy's dresser, across from the girls on the bed and sighed.
"Ben's always wanted a kid brother, right?" Star asked.
"You think Ben pushed him?" Lizzy asked.
"Why not? Benji's always wanted a little brother. When Chris saw you upset yesterday, he wanted to know why. Ben told him that Charlie might know but he may not tell them, so their best bet was to get Fulton to tell them. Fulton's your best friend, of course you'd tell him," Danni explained.
"I know you probably don't want to hear this, but is there a chance it wasn't what it looked like?" Star asked.
"That what Lissy said?" Lizzy asked. As she scrutinized the older woman she could tell that she knew something. She just had to figure out what it was. Turns out the simple question was enough prodding for the redhead to spill.
"She said Dean told her what happened and that he could see why you were angry."
"How come he's never tried to explain it?" Lizzy asked.
"It's been a week, you really expect him to?" Star asked.
"You know what? Get out of my head," Lizzy snapped. She stood up and walked into the en suite bathroom, shutting the door behind her.
"And she wonders why people think she has a temper," Star said. Danni shook her head and the two women left the room.
After about an hour long shower, Lizzy went back downstairs and walked to the cabinet by the back door and pulled out the blue bound book. "What are you doing, sweetheart?" Rob asked.
"No, I don't want to talk right now," Lizzy answered. She walked into the pantry and got some supplies. Once she had all her supplies laid out on the counter and the book open to the right recipe, Nat walked over. The older woman didn't say anything she just helped with the cookies. As they rolled out the sugar cookie dough, Nat reached over and tapped Lizzy on the nose with a flour covered finger. Lizzy looked up at Nat then smiled. "Do you remember the last time we did this?" Lizzy asked.
"You were eight years old, it was almost Thanksgiving. Back when you thought boys were icky and only good for hockey. When I asked about Fulton, you said he wasn't a boy, he was just your best friend. I hope he still is."
"He is, I'm not mad at him for telling you, or my brothers, I just wish he hadn't. He loves me though. That's all that matters, right?"
"Yeah," Nat said.
Soon the cookies were cooling and Lizzy was making the frosting. "I don't know, Jim," Rob hissed.
"Trust me. Don't treat her like an alien, treat her like one of your kids," Jim answered. With the radio, mixer, and TV going, it was obvious that they thought Lizzy couldn't hear them.
"But she cries. My boys never cry," Rob answered.
"Because they are boys. Most of the time just being there for her or hugging her will stop the crying. And don't forget, sometimes they just need to talk."
"Lizzy, sweetheart," her grandmother started, looking over the back of the couch at her, "I am so sorry. I shouldn't have brought it up like that; I just saw you and Matt sitting at the island and totally forgot everyone else."
"You just wanted me to talk about it," Lizzy answered, not looking away from the mixer.
"You were obviously hurting; I thought it would help."
"Well, it's not going to help. Trust me. It does nothing but hurt."
"How do you—"
"Because, I've tried." Lizzy finally looked at her grandmother for a moment.
"Do I smell cookies?" Ben asked.
"Those smell like Mom's sugar cookies," Matt added. Lizzy turned towards the sound of their voices and saw them in the pass through from the kitchen to the formal dining room. In that pass through was also the stairs to the basement.
"They are, but Lizzy made them," Nat answered.
"I love when Lizzy makes cookies," Ben said.
"Let me frost them first. They're always better frosted," Lizzy said as Ben and Matt entered the kitchen. Chris, Seth, Charlie, and Fulton were behind them. They must have all been downstairs playing video games. After frosting the cookies, she filled a plate with about half of the cookies she made and sat them in front of the boys. "Hey Dad," Lizzy said as a thought occurred to her.
"Yeah?" Rob asked.
"Can you get a copy of the school budget? Our baseball field isn't the best, heck it's barely a field—"
"Imagine a plain, old, dirt field with four bases, a pitching rubber, and a six foot, chain-link backstop," Jim put in. He had been to a couple games when he wasn't working as a sports photographer for a big sports' magazine.
"I just want to see if there's any money in the budget to fix it up a little," Lizzy continued.
"I'll see what I can do," Rob answered. Lizzy nodded and began to load the dishwasher.
After lunch that day, Matt pulled Lizzy aside and together they sat down in the rarely used, formal living room. It was right off the foyer, across from the formal dining room and mainly used when their dad entertained clients or when they needed extra sleeping space. Matt and Star's bags were sitting by the pull-out couch. "I'm leaving in a few minutes, have a workout today, but I wanted to talk to you first," Matt said.
"About Dean," Lizzy said. It was obvious even if she didn't want to see it.
"Yes," Matt said softly. He knew this was a very tender topic for his sister but there was more going on than she knew. At the very least, he wanted her to give the boy a chance to explain.
Lizzy looked at her oldest brother. Physically, they were nothing alike. Matt was the tallest of Lizzy's brothers at six foot three with green eyes and bright blonde hair. Lizzy on the other hand was about a foot shorter with chocolate brown hair and blue eyes. She took after her dad while Matt took after their mom. "Mattie, I don't want to talk about it."
"Then just listen. I know what he did hurt. It's never easy when someone cheats on you. I saw it with Chris, had it happen to me once or twice, but you find a way to deal with the hurt. Maybe you should put it out of your mind this week. Enjoy having Fulton and Charlie here until Tuesday and then working on your skating and shooting in the driveway after that."
"Matt," Lizzy protested.
"Or we have a big backyard and Dad used to pitch baseball. When he's not working, you can ask him to pitch a few rounds, maybe play some catch. If you ignore what happened, it might hurt less when you actually deal with it," Matt explained. Their dad was a criminal defense attorney at a huge law firm in town. Before graduating with a law degree, he had grown up playing baseball and when he wasn't in court or preparing for court, especially when his boys had been younger, he had coached their baseball team.
"Or it'll hurt even more. Sometimes not dealing with it right away causes things to fester and grow until you don't know how to deal with it."
"Okay, I understand that. I also know that you're not going to get answer until you talk to him about it. You can do that, right? When you get back to school, give him a chance to explain? Maybe it really wasn't what it looked like?"
"I don't know. What if I don't want to?"
"Do you want to spend the next two years angry at him?"
"No, but—"
"You don't want to be wrong either," Matt suggested.
"I don't want to look like a fool. Then again, how could it be anything but what it looked like? He leaned down and kissed her for a good 30 seconds before he finally pulled away."
"Come here, I have a secret," Matt said. Lizzy stared at her brother but he only motioned her towards him. So Lizzy leaned towards her brother and when she was close, instead of telling her something, he kissed her cheek. "As for why he didn't pull away, shock, surprise, fear, anything really. You'll never know unless you sit down and talk to him."
"As much as that hurts?" Lizzy asked, pulling back away from her brother. She looked more unsure of herself than he had ever seen her. She felt almost as unsure of herself now as she had been the day she had joined the Ducks.
"Yeah," Matt said.
Lizzy sighed and nodded. He was right. Sometimes there was nothing to it but to do it. "Okay. Good luck tonight," Lizzy said.
"Thanks." He rubbed her shoulder then gave her a hug. "It'll be okay. I'm only a call away if you want to talk."
"Thanks again." Matt left about 20 minutes later with Star and a promise to Lizzy that he wouldn't take a detour to Chicago to talk to Portman.
After dinner, Chris and Ben pulled Lizzy into the kitchen as the rest of the boys went downstairs and the parents sat at the table talking with coffee and cake. "Lizzy, look," Ben started. "We know it hurt that Dean kissed another girl in front of you."
"Did Fulton have to tell you everything?" Lizzy asked.
"Charlie told us. Matt asked Fulton to, but Fulton refused to tell him," Chris explained.
"So you didn't know until after Nonna said it?" Lizzy asked.
"As your brothers we didn't know. Aunt Casey told Dad about it, Dad must have mentioned it to Nonna, but he didn't say anything to us about why it happened. Charlie told us you had broken up with Dean, but not why you two had broken up until after Nonna had mentioned it," Chris told her.
"Lizzy, you need to find a way to if not forgive him for the sake of your friendship then—"
"At the very least deal with the hurt and dissipate the tension. Even if the two of you aren't dating, you're both friends with Fulton and it'll be awkward putting him in the middle," Chris finished.
"That's why I didn't tell him what happened at first. I don't want to hurt him but now that he knows, I'm not sure what to do. He was my friend first and I deserve to have him back me instead of Portman." Both brothers patiently waited. She was going somewhere with this and they hoped it was a good place. If she didn't they'd have to calm her down and make her see the other side. Sometimes their little sister was a little selfish. She sighed and looked down at her sock covered feet. The white socks stood out starkly against the chestnut hardwood floor. "Part of me thinks that's selfish though. Most of me doesn't care though. He never should have done what he did. He's better than that and Fulton even agreed."
"Do you know why he did it?" Ben asked.
"At this moment, I don't care. He never tried to explain it and he never pushed to get me to listen to an apology. When I confronted him about what happened, he only stood there and stared at me," Lizzy said. Chris and Ben stared at her. This was not going well. Matt had told them about the talk he had with her earlier but it appeared to have not sunk in.
"Lizzy, that's a bit selfish. I know that maybe he hasn't apologized but maybe you should give him a chance to," Chris said.
"What Chris means is that it's hard to move past something without seeing both sides. You should at the very least attempt to see the other side," Ben pacified.
Lizzy sighed. "Would it make me appear less selfish?" Lizzy asked.
"It might actually make you less selfish," Chris said.
Lizzy's jaw tightened. "Chris, we both love you very much but perhaps you should stop," Ben said. He really didn't want to see his siblings fight, especially not with Lizzy's breakup being so fresh. "Look, we don't think you're selfish, we just think that maybe you're trying to find your way and the easiest way to get attention is by being problematic. That growing up with four brothers, six really as often as Charlie and Fulton were over, makes it hard for the youngest to get attention. Dad's always been a little hands off with you because of how much you remind him of Mom. Matt tried to give you the attention that we got from Dad but I'm not sure how much that worked. Anyway, think about it. We'll talk next week," Ben said.
Lizzy nodded and they went down to the rest of the boys.
By the end of the day, Matt, Chris, Ben, and Seth, as well as their girlfriends, had all left. While Charlie was in the shower and Lizzy and Fulton were getting ready for bed, Lizzy looked at him. "Do you think I'm selfish and a brat?" she asked.
"Of course you're a brat. Beautiful, reliable, authentic, and thoughtful," Fulton smirked, tossing a pillow on top of Charlie's sleeping bag.
"That's not what I meant," Lizzy answered, pulling back her comforter.
"The traditional meaning of a brat? No, of course not. Selfish? From time to time you can be, but growing up the youngest of five, I can see where that comes in. You always have to try hard to be noticed that you don't tend to notice when everyone else has problems. At least when you're home with family. At school, with the team, you seem pretty well in tune with everyone and everything they have going on."
Lizzy sat down on her bed and scratched her forehead with the side of her finger, turning her back on her best friend. Fulton ran his hands through his freshly washed dark hair. He crawled onto the bed and rested his hands on her shoulders. Lizzy stretched her back and rolled her shoulders not trying to throw him off but feeling uncomfortable. "I've never been wrong before. And this time, with Dean, I don't know if I can take it."
Fulton began massaging her shoulders thinking about what to say. All this emotional, touchy feely stuff was usually Adam's or Charlie's department, but he had been her friend for years and he was really the only one who got her. "You can. Take it, you know? You're smart and talented and a really great friend. I know it'll be hard, but I'm here."
"I've never felt like this before, Fult," Lizzy said. She leaned back into his touch.
"Let's not rush into anything, you could be right. He could have cheated."
"Yeah, how are you and Aly?"
"You don't have to change the subject."
"I know, but it's important that I ask about you and Aly."
"I don't want you to meddle."
"No meddling, I promise. I just want to make sure you're happy."
"I am happy. Aly's great. She's sweet and kind and she doesn't really care how close you and I are."
"You really like her."
"I do. She's really good for me."
Lizzy smiled as Charlie came out of the bathroom. "You deserve to be happy," Lizzy said. She leaned her head back so the top rested against his chest and smiled.
"So do you," Charlie said, though he wasn't completely sure what they were talking about.
"I think we all do, but it's only high school," Fulton said.
"We'll get there one day," Lizzy said as she pulled away from Fulton and slipped under her covers. Fulton looked up at Charlie who nodded and walked around the bed dropping down on the sleeping back on the floor. Fulton sighed but dropped down next to Lizzy on the bed. Since her cousin was a cover hog and Fulton wasn't, she had convinced the older boy to sleep on a comfy sleeping bag on the floor.