Thanks to lynn .ann .31 adding this to their favorite and alert list. Still hoping some of you will find it in you to review, maybe even just one of you? Anyway thanks for reading.

Chapter 11: The Tape

A happy, smiling face drawn in bright blue dry erase ink on her dry erase board on her dorm room door greeted Lizzy when she returned from the mall. She really didn't feel like the same happy girl that had drawn it only the day before. It was such a simple and happy picture that it just didn't fit how she felt. She stared at it then turned and walked to Portman's dorm. She stared at his door for a moment then knocked.

"It's open," Portman's voice called from the inside. Lizzy took a deep breath but turned the handle and slipped inside. Portman had Nirvana turned on low and was working on something at his desk but looked up when Lizzy entered. "You okay?" he asked.

"Can I just sit here for a couple minutes?" Lizzy asked as she locked the door behind her after shutting the door softly. She leaned back against it and looked at Portman curiously.

"Sure." Portman waved to Fulton's empty desk chair but Lizzy sat down on Portman's bed and turned her back to Fulton's half of the room. Portman raised an eyebrow at the strangeness of it but didn't comment and went back to his homework. Nirvana played from the stereo speakers until it turned to Guns N' Roses which changed to AC/DC which changed to a DJ talking. She realized it must be a radio station. Then she shook her head as she realized she recognized all of the previous songs. Sure Fulton was her best friend and had the same taste in music but it had mainly come from her time with Portman. Lizzy was shocked when Portman knelt in front of her. "I'm glad you find comfort in sitting with me and that it doesn't feel the least bit awkward; but you've looked over at Fulton's desk like a hundred times in the last five minutes," he said gently resting his hand on the comforter on either side of her. He wanted to rub his hands along her knees to comfort her like he had always done but knew that was crossing a line, especially now that she was dating the Texan cowboy.

"It's more like 50," She answered softly.

"What's going on?" Portman asked.

She looked over at the photograph again and Portman looked too. He stood up and retrieved the photo off the desk. It must have been important if she kept looking at it. He sat down next to her on his bed and held it between them. It showed Lizzy and Fulton as kids. He was in his football gear and she was wearing a hoodie and jeans and was on his back, piggyback style. Both were smiling and looked very happy. "We were eight years old and the Stillwater local youth football team had just won their first game. We were so close. It was like we knew each other better than we knew ourselves. It was so simple back then. We were so happy and he'd do anything to protect me. Why is it so different now?" Lizzy asked.

"What happened?" Portman asked gently.

"Did he tell you about the Hawks?"

"No, Adam did. He also told me about what happened during the championship game." Lizzy looked at him, shocked. "Yes. Adam and I talk," Portman said, rolling his eyes at her shock. "What does that have to with anything?"

"He told you about Todd McGill?" Lizzy asked. Portman nodded. "I don't hate Todd McGill, I just ... what do you call the inability to get over something?"

"You mean holding a grudge?" Portman asked.

"Yeah, that," Lizzy said. "If I'm not thinking about it or him, I'm fine. I don't care about it; it's whatever, but when I start thinking about it, I get so angry."

"Because of what he did?"

"Because he took a chance and Adam could have been so seriously hurt."

"It's been five years."

"I know that and part of me thinks that he only did it to make sure his coach was happy, but I don't know how to deal with that."

"I'm not saying you have to get over that. Tell me what happened between you and Fulton."

"Why do you think something happened?"

"Because of how you said it. It's past tense."

She told him what had happened and then what McGill had said to her. "What makes it worse is when I walked away from McGill to find Fulton, he was deep in conversation with Kenny. It's almost like he was finding reasons not to interrupt my conversation with McGill. He had something to do with it."

"Are you mad at Fulton?" Portman asked.

"Mad?" Lizzy took a deep breath and thought about it for a moment. "No, I'm angry but I'm not mad. Two completely different things."

"What if you're wrong?"

"What?"

"What if it wasn't Fulton's idea to have the two of you meet?"

"Are you trying to make excuses for him?"

"I'm trying to make sure you're not angry at the wrong person." It took nearly everything in him not to reach up and soothe the confused look off her face like he used to. "I'm just saying that maybe there's more going on here than you realize. You really need to talk to Fulton. Just consider it, please," Portman told her.

"Fine," Lizzy sighed heavily. He knew something that he wasn't telling her but she could also see that he wasn't going to tell her.

Thudding. Loud knocking. Almost banging interrupted the quiet Lizzy and Portman had fallen into. They instantly got up and rushed out and down to find Fulton banging on Lizzy's door. "Now would be a good time to talk to him," Portman said in her ear. Lizzy looked up at him but didn't say anything. When she looked back at Fulton, Adam was talking to him. Fulton lowered his hand and sighed. Instead of walking toward his room where Lizzy and Portman were standing, he turned and left the dorms completely. "Or not." Portman sighed.

Then Adam walked towards them. Lizzy swallowed. There was no avoiding him. Normally she wouldn't have even had that thought but he looked a bit angry. "You and I need to talk," he said.

"Us? Not really," Lizzy answered.

"I know you're extremely angry and you shouldn't be." Her brow furrowed but he wasn't sure if it was anger or confusion. "I know why you're angry because I set the whole thing up."

"You—" Lizzy stopped herself. She thought for a moment as not to fly off the handle. "You and me against the world, huh?" She looked at him plainly then walked into her room. Deep down, her heart was breaking. Adam had always had her back and he had known how she felt about McGill, but then he had gone and done this. It hurt. It really hurt. Unable to focus on anything but the pain in her chest, she covered her room in drop cloths and placed a large canvas on top of it then squeezed a few different colors on the canvas. She pulled off her socks and shoes, rolled her pants up a bit, clicked on some country music then stepped onto the canvas and padded around a bit, letting herself get lost in the music. A few songs later she stepped off the canvas and sat down on her bed then used a towel to wipe her feet off.

The following afternoon in art class, Lizzy and Connie sat next to each other drawing. "I heard you're mad at Adam and Fulton," Connie said glancing at Lizzy before going back to the drawing of the bowl of fruit.

"Because of what they did."

"Setting you up to talk to Todd McGill?"

"Does everyone know?" Lizzy sighed heavily. "Am I wrong?"

"They knew how you felt and they used it against you. You have every right to be angry with them. However, they do love you and they want you to move past this so if you do ever see him again, you won't be so angry. We can all see it. Letting it go can make you a better person."

"It doesn't make me feel any better."

"Would talking to Kyle Riley?" Lizzy stared at her. "Coach Riley wasn't only his hockey coach but also is his uncle. That and Kyle didn't just play for the Hawks, he was also good friends with Adam and McGill and your friend Joey Larson. If you can still talk to Larson, then maybe McGill isn't so bad either."

"Larson's more like an acquaintance and what's Larson got to do with McGill?"

"You talk to Larson every week via email. Anyway do you remember why we got that penalty shot in the championship game?"

Lizzy thought about it as they put the finishing touches on their drawings. "Because of Charlie?"

"It's called slashing and it's illegal in hockey." Lizzy turned to stare at Connie full on. "Larson's fault." Lizzy's eyes widened. "He went after Charlie, took him down but you were quick to forgive him. Maybe you should think about that."

"Ms. Moreau, Ms. Jacobs, your artwork, please." Their teacher was standing over them. They both handed their drawings over and their teacher moved on to Emma and Elli. "Girls," she said.

"What did the school board say?" Emma asked, handing over her drawing.

"They don't have the money this year and our art fund is too low. Unfortunately, we'll just have to do without an art show again this year," the art teacher said softly. "I'll make the announcement at the end of the week, unless you girls can come up with a good fundraiser."

"Maybe we could try a bake sale?" Ellie suggested.

"That requires permission from the dean and when was the last time he cared about anything not sports related?" Emma asked.

"Yeah, you're right," Ellie sighed.

"How much would it cost to put on the art show?" Lizzy asked, turning towards them. Emma and Ellie stared at her but the art teacher answered her question. "Oh, that shouldn't be too hard. I'll talk to the dean before the game today and should have an answer by tomorrow. We can hold the bake sale Thursday, Friday, and Saturday during our baseball doubleheader then the following weekend, hold a car wash and that should get us enough for the art show."

"You really think people are going to help us," Ellie asked.

"I just helped the baseball team raise 37,000 for a new baseball stadium; an art show should be ten times easier. Plus get help from the jv hockey and the varsity baseball team for the car wash and bam, we'll have the money in no time," Lizzy answered.

"You're welcome to try, Ms. Jacobs. We appreciate any help you can give us," the art teacher told her.

"Yes, ma'am," Lizzy answered. After classes Lizzy rushed to Charlie to ask him about the tape from their Pee Wee Championships. At first he didn't hear her so she asked her question again. He told her his tape got taped over but in reality he just wanted her to talk to Adam. So he suggested as much. Her face fell. "Not talking to him at the moment. Got to go." Lizzy rushed off to speak with the dean and get permission for the car wash and the bake sale. She explained her plan and the dean agreed under the condition that she got all the permits needed. She agreed then rushed out to the ball field. She slipped into the locker room and was confronted by the rest of the team.

"Bastian told us what you did," Mike said.

"Yeah, we don't have time for that. Y'all can be mad at me after the game. We have already made it to playoffs, now it's time to prove what school we deserve to play in the first game. We can do this, Ducks." Lizzy said, trying to divert their attention and hype them for the big game.

"Go get dressed; we have a game to win." Bash said. Lizzy smiled then went into the bathroom to change.

At the end of the game, after shaking hands with the opposing team, Lizzy and her team returned to the locker room where their coach complemented them on a job well done but warned them not to get cocky since losing their double header on Saturday would knock them down a few spots. Their coach left the locker room and Lizzy grinned. "No pep talks from you, we're mad at you," Brick snapped.

"$12,000. How could you do that to us, Lizzy? Not tell us that we could have stopped 12,000 short of where we did," Bash added.

"So you basically didn't want to do any of the work?" Lizzy asked.

"We're not saying that, Lizzy. We're just saying that we didn't want to work quite as hard," Sam told her diplomatically.

"No, you're not. I don't want to fight with you guys. There's too much of that going on already." Lizzy grabbed her bag.

"Wait. Why would you say that?" Mike asked.

"Jim," Lizzy said softly. Her first baseman sighed and pulled out the record for donations he had made. He handed it to Bash who looked it over. He looked from her to the record to Jim.

"Yep." Jim nodded.

"What's it say?" Mike asked.

"That Lizzy raised $25,000 all by herself," Bash explained. The team stared in shock. "According to this. Five grand from her dad's firm, three from the local sports' shop, two from her old Pee Wee hockey sponsors, a thousand from the Junior Goodwill Committee, two from an indoor rec center—"

"Let's just call it another 11 from the local businesses," Lizzy cut him off.

"Wait, that's only 24," Mike said.

"My dad and brother also donated," Lizzy said softly. It went silent in the locker room and she was sure they were thinking it over. "Well, okay then. Just so you know the extra 12.5 got us new uniforms and gear, but if you don't want it I can go tell the dean to cancel the order." When no one said anything, she smiled. "Great, now if you'll excuse me, I'm gonna go shower and eat because ... yeah."

"Liz, wait," Alex said as she stood. "Let me walk you back to your dorm. I want to take a look at that wrist." Lizzy scratched her forehead with the side of her index finger. It was a nervous habit that she, Charlie, and two of her brothers all had. Though she couldn't explain it, something about him creeped her out.

"My wrist feels fine," Lizzy answered.

"But—"

"Lex, drop it," Bash warned him.

"Ice it if it starts to hurt," Sam said.

"I will," Lizzy agreed. After a nice, warm shower and some good food, Lizzy talked to the remaining Ducks but none of them had a copy of the tape. Goldberg finally told her why. They had only had one copy of the tape and either Charlie or Bombay had it. Since Charlie had been of no help, Lizzy sulked as she headed back to her room. She was stopped in the hallway by a dark-haired kid who looked vaguely familiar. She stared at him as she tried but failed to place him. Even his voice didn't help.

"I have what you need, but you have to come to my place to get it," the boy said.

"Doesn't that sound creepy?" Lizzy said.

"I'm just trying to help, but if you don't want to watch the tape then whatever."

Lizzy leaned closer to him and stared deep into his bluish-green eyes. That's when it hit her. "You're Kyle Riley," she said stunned.

"I thought you knew that. I'm sorry I didn't introduce myself," Kyle said sheepishly.

"How do you know what I need?"

"I overheard you talking to that goalie and Adam told me. Said he heard it from Moreau."

"And it's at your parents' place?"

"Yes, it is and no, Rick won't be there." Lizzy nodded and they went over to the Rileys. When they got there, they found his parents in the living room watching some hockey game. Kyle walked to the bookcase next to the TV and pulled a tape from it. He turned to walk back to Lizzy and spotted his dad. "We're going to take this upstairs," he told his dad.

"Who's your friend, sweetheart?" his mom asked, having seen them walk in.

"Moooom," Kyle whined, dragging the word out.

"I'm Lizzy Jacobs," Lizzy said.

"She's Robert's little girl," Tom said, glancing at her. "What's on the tape, Sport?" He looked back at his son.

"The Hawks/Ducks championship game; we were hoping it would put something in perspective."

"And what's that?" Tom asked.

"How much of a jerk I am," Lizzy answered.

"You were a Duck, weren't you?" Mrs. Riley asked. She hadn't looked away from Lizzy since she had noticed the girl.

Lizzy nodded. "You can watch it in here," Tom said. "We were done with this game anyway."

"Dad," Kyle started.

"Kyle, you're 16, it's not going to happen," Tom insisted.

"Yeah," Lizzy said slowly, "he's cute, but I have a boyfriend." They both sat down and watched the tape. The first period dragged by so Lizzy picked up the remote and fast forwarded it to shortly before McGill took down Adam. She hit the play button and watched as it happened. As Larson stopped next to Adam on the ice, she hit the pause button. "You know from this angle it doesn't book as bad as I remember it being."

"Could be the angle, could just be you remembering it worse to justify your contempt of McGill," Kyle said. "Or it could be that McGill took that chance when Adam had already crossed the blue line into our zone. I know it's 64 feet but still ... Also change the angle even slightly it could have paralyzed him."

"That and two seconds earlier and he may not have hit the goalpost at all," she said, considering it. As she did, she ran the tape forward until the third period and Tammy's spinning goal. As they celebrated her goal and Tammy spun her way back to the bench, McGill came up behind her and shoved her down. He skated over to his bench and downed some water. Suddenly Fulton skated up behind McGill and grabbed him by the shoulder and leg and dumped him over the boards and back onto the Hawks' bench. Then he proceeded to pick a fight with the entire team. Lizzy burst out laughing then covered her mouth. "I totally forgot he did that," Lizzy said, trying to control her laughter. Just over three minutes later with just less than 30 seconds left, Lizzy saw what Connie had told her about. Lizzy's jaw dropped. Both players had been skating hard towards the Hawks' goal with Larson coming up behind Charlie and then he reached over with his stick against Charlie's arm and Charlie went down. She could barely believe it. Larson turned towards the Hawks' bench and Lizzy paused the tape. She couldn't even deny it since there, plain as day, across the back of the number 33 jersey, was the name in white letters, Larson.

"Now," Kyle said, getting her attention, "before you start tearing into yourself about how you should have been just as bad to Larson as you were to McGill, I want to show you something. Rewind the tape to the line change before Adam gets hurt." Lizzy did so and paused it right when he said. "Now, look at the bench. See who Coach is talking to? Uh my coach," Kyle corrected. "Joey and Todd. His words were something along the lines of 'Drop him like a bad habit, get him out of the game. I mean it.' Something like that."

"Are you saying I should blame all of this on Coach Riley and not McGill and Larson?"

"Not all of it, just most of it."

"My exact words there," a soft voice said to her left, "were "I want you to drop Banks like a bad habit. I want him out of the game. Finish him off." I meant for them to slam him into the boards, double team him, anything to send him to the locker room, hurt. I never, ever meant for him to end up in the hospital."

Lizzy slowly turned her head to look at the man and spotted Jack Riley sitting there. "Lizzy, you know my uncle and Pee Wee hockey coach, Jack Riley. Uncle Jack, this is Lizzy."

"Sir," Lizzy acknowledged. Lizzy turned her attention back to Riley. "Kyle, I still don't understand why they would knowingly do something that dangerous."

"Because when you spend an entire season, or two or three, with a man like my uncle you don't ever tell him no. Especially not if he taught you to skate, to play hockey, to win. Haven't you ever had a coach that you've tried your best to impress?" Kyle asked.

"Nope. Second grade we didn't play for championships, third grade ... we forfeited that season because of the chicken pox, fourth grade our coach threatened to quit every other practice so I didn't really care, fifth grade we only lost to the Hawks in the final playoff game by a stinkin' point because you triple teamed me, sixth grade was Bombay and I was going back to the Panthers next season and didn't care what he thought, and after that it was all about baseball. I think ever since fourth grade, I haven't cared what the coach thought of me. My skills proved themselves and that was all that mattered," Lizzy explained.

"What about your brother?" Tom asked. "Matt. Didn't you ever try to do whatever you could to impress him?" Lizzy was unsure what to say.

"You would," Kyle said.

"I don't think I would hurt someone but Matt is ..." Lizzy trailed off.

"A professional hockey player, taught you everything you know about hockey," Jack told her. Lizzy nodded. "You may never actually hurt someone, but you'd push it right to the very edge of the line. Your dad was never there so Matt filled in. You trust him so you'd do as he asked even if you knew it wasn't right."

"How do you know that?" Lizzy asked.

"Your brother Seth. Came to talk to me two weeks after the Panthers forfeited the season. Told me he had this great player who could take on the world and almost guarantee me championships. 207 goals the previous year. Gave me all your stats. I was impressed especially when he said he helped train you, but then he said a girl. I couldn't have a girl on my team. Not even as good as you."

"Ouch," Lizzy griped. That wasn't fair. Lizzy thought about it the rest of it. "If Matt told me to do it or I'd seen him do it ... I want to say no, but I don't know. I mean I might. What's that got to do with Joey and McGill?"

"Coach may not be family to them, but they grew up trusting and respecting him," Kyle said. "And that goes a long way with what's right and what's wrong."

"Maybe it does. I don't know if it excuses them but at least it explains it. Right?" Kyle nodded to Lizzy's question.

"Just think about it. Maybe it'll clear things up."