Chapter 3: Ashes to Ashes...
Things that are dead, she thinks, should stay that way.
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Their first mission failure was no one's fault but her own. Sakura did not attempt to convince herself otherwise, and neither would anyone else. That day started early, as every day did. The sun rose but did not shine, hidden behind smoky grey clouds that polluted the sky. Though the weather was nothing out of the ordinary, Sakura woke with a sick feeling her gut and heavy thoughts in her head as she looked to the sky.
Morning briefing revealed that scouts had located an enemy camp about five miles to the northwest. From the looks of it, they were well aware of the nearby Konoha forces and were planning to launch a surprise attack on their base within a few days. Their objective was simple, scout ahead of the Konoha counter forces, set up behind enemy lines, report, and assist. The platoon would set out later in the day.
Iwa was a mountainous region, the ground was uneven and there was rarely large areas of flat land like Sakura was accustomed to in her home. But this came with upsides as well. For example, it gave them much more opportunity to take the high ground, which had always been a struggle in the lands of both Konoha and Kiri.
The place where the Iwa soldiers chose to set up was in a rocky canyon, so they scaled the rock face. Even though they had backtracked to a place far enough away to climb without fear of being caught, panic sent her heart racing every time her heavy boots knocked into a loose stone and it fell tumbling to the ground far below. She refused to look down and kept her body pressed against the jagged ridges of the mountain.
The climb wasn't too particularly long or strenuous. This part that they had decided upon was far shorter than the rest, and at the top it was a slight slope until the mountain capped and became flat land. Along the top was thick brush that hugged the ground. With no other option available to them, they laid flat on their stomachs to crawl through the shrubbery. Twigs and thorns dug into the exposed skin of her face, sharp enough to almost break the skin and paint her skin crimson. Sakura ignored the burning sensation when one caught her cheek and she pressed forward until they closed in on the camp. As she unattached her rifle from her back, Itachi settled in the place next to her.
She held her eye to her scope and explored the area. There looked to be 22 men in the camp, most likely with a few around the perimeter on watch and another few in the tents. Their supplies were not noteworthy, they were not excessively equipped, nor did they appear to have any explosives with them. With such little equipment, it seemed Iwa's intelligence forces had not yet caught on to how large Konoha's base had grown.
After a few more brief seconds of silence, Sakura noted her observations. "22 visible" she whispered, drawing her eye away from the scope to look at him briefly, "No officers."
Itachi, with his sharper sight, nodded in agreement, lowering his binoculars and repeating the information softly into the radio. A reply crackled through, but the volume was turned down far enough so that it was only perceptible to his ears.
She kept her sight trained on the camp, scouring for the commanding officer that had thus far remained hidden from sight. Five more men emerged from the barracks, but they were not the targets she was searching for. Across the camp, a stockhold of weapons was being piled up, with a few soldiers going through and inspecting them. Undoubtedly, they were preparing to launch an attack on the Konoha forces soon.
Just moments later, she saw him, that familiar face through the center of her crosshairs, and her vision ran red. He exited the large tent positioned at the center of the camp, giving a few brief orders to two soldiers that were accompanying him. The emblem sewn into the shoulder of his uniform was blue, decidedly not in accordance with the deep yellow that symbolized Iwa.
She recoiled from the sight.
Itachi paused in his radio transmissions. "What's the matter?" He glanced down at the camp, then at the gun in her hands. "Your hands are shaking."
That hadn't happened since their first mission. The words burned at the tip of his tongue, but he refrained from saying them.
Sakura shook her head and cursed him for being ever so observant. Unable to meet his intense, questioning gaze, she instead focused her attention down her scope again. "Give me distance and velocity."
"6 east, 1500," He frowned. "Tell me what you're doing."
"I'm taking the shot," she seethed, producing a fresh cartridge and shoving in into place, "And I won't miss this time."
"You haven't been cleared to-"
"I don't care." She finally turned to face him, the rage and fire burning in her much stronger than whatever shame that kept her from looking at him, her piercing eyes a striking emerald even under the dull sunlight. "Do you have any clue what it's like to track the same man for months on end? To spend every waking moment learning his movements, his thoughts, his habits, everything about him? And all for nothing because of your own incompetence?"
Sakura did not receive a response, nor did she expect one, yet there was something he left unsaid that made her hesitate for the briefest of seconds. But her mind was already set and she broke his gaze. "I'm taking him out." she repeated, more for herself than him, as an affirmation.
Her hands stopped shaking for the briefest of moments, but it was just enough to line up her shot. Though the gun was equipped with a silencer, the soft noise shook the ominous silence of the camp. Smoke and gunpowder drifted from the rifle's barrel and she quickly pumped the action of the gun.
The man dropped dead, finally and finitely.
Sakura shifted the aim of her weapon, taking out one of the men that were rushing towards the officer's fallen body. "Inform the Captain that Kiri has broken the treaty and allied with Iwa," she said, with an uneven calmness that neither of them could trust.
Itachi did not immediately respond, and the radio sat unused in his hand. "Do you know what you've just done?" he asked. He did not sound angry. Never, never angry. Disappointed, questioning and doubtful perhaps, but he could never express an emotion as intense as anger. (If he could even feel it.)
"Look," she hissed, the rage in her burning enough for the both of them, and she pulled the trigger with unintended ferocity. The bullet exploded from the barrel, but neither of them flinched at the muted, yet sudden sound. "I'll take the reprimanding from Genma or Kakashi, but I sure as hell won't take it from you."
He did not respond, but whispered an update into the radio. There was no more talk between them except for a report on the change in wind velocity. As always, he did his job well.
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The day after, the platoon returned to base camp tired, hungry, and in desperate need of a shower with hot water they didn't have. They settled for bathing with water diverted from the icy wilderness, there was a pond not too far from camp. The water was clean enough and it wasn't like they had much of a choice.
Not much had changed in their absence save for the small amount that the wall had been expanded by the barest amount. It almost enclosed the camp entirely, though it was supposed to have been completed more than two weeks ago. The structural integrity was questionable in come places, the troops were obviously not well-versed in carpentry, but it would do. It would have to, in the very least, there was neither time nor supplies to fortify the structure any more.
The base had also earned itself a name. Not officially, of course, none of the superiors back in Konoha thought it deserved one, evidently, but the troops had taken to calling it "Omega 6". No one was sure where it came from, or really what it meant, but it stuck and more importantly, it was a name. An identification.
Not too long after arriving back, only just enough time to quickly stuff some rations down their throats, Sakura and Itachi had been called into the Captain's office. She found the beige walls of the tent seemed especially interesting as they sat through the lecture. It was nearing an hour at this point and she was certain she had never heard Kakashi talk for so long before.
"All you had to do was follow mission protocol. Was that so difficult to comprehend?" Kakashi glared at them, though most of his ire was directed towards her, "I remember specifically instructing you to not fire until we had reached the second point. We lost seven men yesterday, that was almost half the squad, do you realize this?"
"Captain I-"
"I don't remember giving you permission to talk." He turned to Itachi. "And what the hell were you doing? Sitting back and watching the show!? It might not have been in the job description, but it's your duty to look after one another. Even if it means interference or confrontation with your squad." After letting out a shaky sigh, he pinched the bridge of his nose.
"I should have you suspended for this. No, I should have you discharged," he hissed, "But I know that would be more of a reward than a punishment. Itachi, 30 laps. Sakura, you will be receiving a full mental evaluation and go through basics again, report to Yamato instead of training tomorrow. No dinner rations and 50 laps around camp, go to the med tent when you're done. Now."
The perimeter of the camp was much smaller than Foxtrot 3, or even 12, which made the laps go by quickly. Even so, the terrain was rocky and steep in some places, so it was still punishment enough. (Especially if her feet had anything to say about it in the morning.)
It was also time to think, to reflect, and most importantly, ignore Itachi whenever they fell into step. But he had long legs and was naturally fast, and when that was coupled with his smaller amount of laps, he was finished a full hour before her.
Sakura thought about the mission. It hadn't gone as poorly as Kakashi had made it out to seem. Any mission came with the risk of losing a few men and especially an attack of that magnitude would expect at least a few deaths. And in any case, that was in the natural course of a soldier's life. They should have been prepared to sacrifice their lives for their country.
Her pace slowed, until she was left at a standstill, staring up yet again at the sky. The night was a clear, piercing darkness that was both in her and yet far, far away. The stars seemed to stare back down at her with an inescapable gaze, with a sliver of the moon overseeing all.
When had she grown so callous towards human life? Sometime during the first war, just recently? Or was it in the time in between? Who had given her the right to dictate when a man, a soldier, could and could not die?
Disgusting. She was disgusting, wasn't she? Some mockery of a laugh tore itself from her lips, but it dissipated into the cold night's air and faded away, so she continued on to lap 43.
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The last seven laps seemed to take much longer than all the rest combined, but Sakura felt like screaming in excitement when they were finally over. She debated briefly whether to shower first or report to the medical tent right away but before she could make a conscious decision, she found herself sitting on one of the gurneys.
A busty blonde woman stood in front of her, idly flipping through the pages on her clipboard. Tsunade, her name was Tsunade, Sakura briefly noted to herself. During her brief stint in the medical program, she had run into the woman a handful of times, studied under her for a short time, even. Tsunade was an incredibly brilliant doctor, so much so that even the conservative elites had to recognize her abilities and placed her as second-in-command of the combat medic division. But never the head, never first.
In a word Sakura respected her, in three she respected and feared her. She didn't know much about the older woman's past, but she had to be strong to get to where she was today. And even then, they degraded her position by placing her in some no-name camp like the shithole that was Omega 6.
"Kakashi tells me he thinks you've got PTSD."
The words snapped Sakura out of her thoughts and she looked up, her eyebrows crinkled in confusion. "What?"
"Post traumatic stress disorder. A lot of soldiers go through it after war, or sometimes during it."
She pressed her lips together into a thin line and straightened her back, her shoulders going stiff. "Sorry, no, there's nothing wrong with me, I'm fine."
Tsunade stared at her for a few moments, then snorted and flicked her in the forehead. "Look, Sakura, mental illness doesn't mean you're fucked up, alright? Get that shit out of your head. You're just having a little trouble coping with everything. You get nightmares, right? Or flashbacks?"
Sakura stared.
"Right, I'll take that as a yes." She wrote a few things down on her clipboard. "Unfortunately we can't get you to therapy here, but we'll do what we can for now. In the meantime, if anything happens, nightmares, flashbacks, anxiety, come talk to me. Hell, talk to anyone you think you can trust. Believe me, it'll help things a lot."
"That's-"
"Easier said than done, I know." Tsunade sighed, crossing her arms and drumming her fingers on her biceps, "But you can't wreck yourself out there, kid. Konoha's taken a lot of you already, you can't let you take anymore."
"Okay," Sakura nodded, and thought back to when Kakashi had fired a gun into the air and he had to pin her down because she pulled a knife on him. She remembered the training she threw herself into just to be able to fire a weapon again. "Okay," she repeated, this time for herself more than anything.
Tsunade watched her, her deep brown eyes tracing the emotions in the younger woman's face. She didn't know all the details of what the girl had gone through (even she wasn't given permission to access the files), but from what Kakashi had purposely let slip, there had been an unfair amount of burden placed on her shoulders from a young age.
"Us women have to be strong to survive."
"Yeah," Sakura replied, a steely, far-away echo in her voice, "I know."
"Good," The blonde shoved a ration bar into her hands, "Now take a fucking shower, you reek,"
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As instructed, Sakura dragged her aching body to the showers, but not before scarfing down the food she had been gifted. It helped fill the void in her stomach and was an incredibly generous gift, but after having not eaten for the entire day, it wasn't nearly enough. She showered as quickly as she could and she finally returned to her tent. Though she was clean and could finally rest her sore, aching muscles, the pangs in her stomach persisted.
Itachi was already there when she arrived. The fact that they shared a living space had escaped her until that moment, but she was much too tired to acknowledge him and instead, flung herself face first into her bed roll, burying her face into her small, flat pillow.
She really could have fallen asleep the moment she laid down, but whatever drowsiness plagued her body fled when she was suddenly shook. "What the hell?" she slurred, turning her head just enough to glare at him from the corner of her eye.
If her gaze bothered him, Itachi did not show it. Instead, he simply held out an apple and bread to her.
"What's this?" Sakura asked incredulously, shifting her body to sit up, but not making any motion to take the food.
"Dinner."
"Are you insane? You'll get in more trouble if you get found out." Her eyes narrowed. "I don't need your pity if that's what this is about. I'm the one who made the decision to go against the Captain's direct orders, I'll take the punishment for it and I don't need your help with that."
His brow furrowed and he looked strangely troubled, as if searching for the right words to answer her with. "It's not," he slowly responded, after a few moments of silence, "We're partners and we must take care of each other. That is why you and Sasuke worked so well together, correct?"
Though he certainly meant no harm, his words stung and she was rather unsure how to respond.
Itachi seemed to immediately pick up on this and hurried to correct himself. "I didn't mean it like that, I'm s-"
"It's fine." Sakura rushed to cut him off before he said more words she didn't want to hear. Of all people deserving apologies, she certainly was not one of them. "Thank you," she said awkwardly, and hesitantly took the food from him. The small helping wasn't much, not even enough to quell the pangs in her stomach, but he had put himself at risk by sneaking it out for her.
He watched her eat. His eyes, those frustratingly bottomless pools of obsidian, focused intensely upon her, as if studying her movements. She shifted uncomfortably under his gaze, pretending not to notice.
"Look, if you want to ask me something, just go ahead and ask it."
He wastes no time and spares no formalities. "Who was he?"
"General Jo Inouye of Kiri, age 38. His father was a former captain and his mother was a combat medic. Two brothers and a sister, the sister died in the war and the brothers served but survived. Married with one daughter. Enlisted at 17 and rose through the ranks quickly for his efficiency in training his men and his battle prowess. However, his plans are known for being risky, at the cost of the lives of his own men. He starts each morning with a cup of tea, milk but no sugar, because he hates the taste of coffee but can't function without caffeine. In high school, he suffered an injury from a sports incident and favors his right leg."
Sakura cut herself off with a grimace, she had memorized his file years ago (hell, she had filled out the damn thing) and the information never filtered itself out of her brain. "I was assigned to him during the last war. It was one of my first mission failures."
"Do you want to talk about it?" He said it hesitantly, in an unsure tone that she was unused to. It was foreign, as if Itachi was anything but sure of himself. Cautious, yes, but never uncertain.
"No," she snapped, and then immediately regretted it, turning away to hide the burning shame betrayed in her face, "Not now."
The tension in the room was worse than when they had first begun talking.
"Goodnight," Itachi said, a sort of peace offering.
"Yes," she shuddered, feeling the weight of his gaze on her back, "Goodnight."
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A short chapter and I've been absent for more than a year. Sorry! I can't even promise another one very soon but I've started work on it, so that's something?
So why don't Tsunade and Sakura share a tent if they're the two of the only females in the base? There's some luxury to being a commanding officer and more often than not, Tsunade sleeps in the med tent.