authorsnotes: here we go, it is getting real
do enjoy, lemme know watcha think with a review!
songrecs: seven - taylor swift (is it one of my fics if there aren't AT LEAST 2 taylor swift recommendations per story?)
There was an argument, but it was short lived.
Very short lived.
"You can't" Jon said, eyes wide with worry then, breaking him out of his resolute state, only his worry for her could do that.
"I can and I will" Sansa insisted, and she knew she needed to do that, anything outside of total commitment would lead to doubt, and she couldn't afford doubt, not now, not in the future, and especially not down South.
Did she want to go South? Absolutely not. The very thought made her stomach roll, and her hands almost shake, the hairs on the back of her neck standing up. But she knew despite her own fears, despite her own promises to herself that she would never return, she didn't have a choice; Jon was going, and so she had to.
"It's too dangerous" Jon insisted, to which Sansa narrowed her eyes; got it.
Littlefinger had taught her many things, manipulative things she shouldn't want to carry on, shouldn't use, and yet they had their uses, too many uses. She thought of Father and Robb then, both still adjusting to their returns, she loved them, was so happy they were back, but she knew they wouldn't employ the tactics she would, Jon would to an extent but not enough.
The Stark family needed a spymaster, that was the truth of it, and though she wasn't willing to be Littlefinger, she was willing to be a version of him, not quite as cut-throat but certainly willing to be for her family.
And so her mind worked that way now, it unpicked conversations, found openings, found opportunities and so as Jon spoke, she thought of something Littlefinger had told her;
'If you see an opening you must take it, but you must be smart; there's no place for brave fools in the game, but there's also no place for hesitant cowards'
There was an opening, and yet she could see in this instance, she had to take it.
"It it's too dangerous then you can't go either" She said, raising her gaze to his. She would never openly question Jon in public, would never erode his authority like that, just as he would never do to her, but in private? Damn right she'd push him, press him, just as he did her, they needed one another for that, how else would they know they were making the right moves?
"Sansa" Jon said, exasperated then, but he took her hands, his gaze meeting hers, insistent, clear, as was hers, though perhaps a bit murkier, "I have to go"
"Then I do too" Her tone had dropped to a whisper, and there were no playing games in that, just what she needed. The thought of Jon leaving, going South alone … she'd brave the South a thousand times before she let that happen.
"Someone needs to be here, there must always be a Stark in Winterfell" He said and she nodded, that she wouldn't disagree with.
"Thankfully we've got plenty now" She said, and with that she could see Jon deflate a touch. Arguments wise they were usually even on who won them, Sansa perhaps had a lead, one she was increasing with this, she just needed to tip it over the edge.
"Father can rule here" She said, "It would be good for our people to see us as united, Father and Robb have named you King, but they need places too" She said, though she knew Jon planned for Robb to have the Dreadfort, they also needed to show the Stark family was a unit, one dedicated to ruling the North together; Jon may be the crown, but he was not alone.
"Sansa…" Jon said, whispering now too, "I don't want you to have to do this" He lifted his hand to cup her face then and she leaned into it without hesitation.
She managed a smile at that, a weak one, but a smile all the same, she lifted her hand to close around Jon's wrist holding her face, tightly, she'd need his strength it was true, but she could do it; she'd have to do it.
"Maybe I need to do this for me" She offered, lie, she didn't, but she did for Jon. "For you, for our people" She said, truth, and nodded, "I won't let you do this alone"
"I…" Jon stopped then, cutting himself off, and nodded, a great gasp of relief left her lips, and she felt that crushing weight of it too, she could go with Jon, she could keep him safe, they would not be parted.
She also felt a rush of crippling fear at the idea of going South, but if that was the price … she'd pay it.
"I'll keep you safe" Jon promised then, and Sansa nodded then too, she'd always believe Jon in that, and as he bundled her into his arms, she pulled him close too, the two of them holding onto one another, before the trials to come.
Things sprung into action quickly from there, though there were more arguments to be had.
"Why do you have to go?" Lady Stark had thrown at Sansa, ignoring him completely, clearly, she didn't care that he was risking his life.
Jon wasn't stupid, he knew Lady Stark still despised him, possibly more for seemingly taking the seat she believed belonged to her husband or eldest son, it was difficult for Jon, as he still felt that way a touch.
"I'm not letting Jon go alone" Sansa said as though it were obvious and in a tone that brokered no argument.
"Let your Father go" Lady Stark said, though she offered her husband a nervous smile, clearly, she didn't want anyone to go South, but would protect her children first, one of Lady Stark's redeeming qualities.
"We can't" Jon said with a shake of his head, and as Lady Stark glared, he just looked away, he wouldn't cower anymore, but he didn't need a fight, "The South should not know you all live"
Lord Stark nodded at that, "He's right Cat, better we keep our presence here hidden for as long as possible"
Sansa nodded then too, and Jon offered her a smile, missing the look Robb gave them.
"We will go South" He winced, he hadn't wanted to take Sansa, not able to stand the thought he was putting her in danger, but she had insisted, and he could see her wisdom in wanting to go.
And he couldn't say no, not when she'd looked at him the way she had; with fear, with worry, and with intensity. "Lord Stark, you'll rule in my stead" He said it formally, though he hated to do so he had to, and thankfully his Uncle nodded in return.
"I will protect the North with my life" He said, and then unexpectedly pulled his nephew into a hug. Jon went in willingly, wishing sometimes he wasn't in charge, the responsibilities that came with it sometimes crushing, sometimes it would have been easier to be a boy again.
But no, he was no longer a boy, and he would not let anyone be at risk, not ever again.
He was a King now, and the risk was his.
It would have been his alone if not for Sansa.
Yet he could see and understand her reasoning, he wouldn't let her go alone, and so why should she him? They were a team, had been ever since they'd reunited and he'd been foolish to discard that, even out of a place of wanting to keep Sansa safe.
They'd go South together.
"Brother" Robb said pulling him to one side as Sansa chatted rapidly to Lord Stark about provisions.
"Yes?" He asked, it warmed him Robb still called him that, brothers in all but blood indeed, how he'd missed him.
"How do you know you'll be safe?" He asked, looking nervous and Jon understood, all but him had, had poor experiences South, he understood their anxieties, but he saw no other option, the Gods had sent him the riddle he'd deciphered.
What defeated ice?
The answer had been clear.
"I'll take guards" He said, as Arya joined their trio, Rickon too, though he was still young he was growing. Only Bran was absent, in the Godswood, as he always was these days.
Much had changed for all of them since they'd last seen one another.
He knew he was much changed, brooding still but with the Kingship now, a responsibility he took seriously, had fought for and would die for.
Robb had lost his innocence; he too had a responsibility but also a guilt behind his eyes that wouldn't budge.
Sansa had probably changed the most, from sweet girl to a protégée of some of the most dangerous people in Westeros and armed with their skills.
Bran was barely even Bran anymore, always eyes closed, focused on things they couldn't see or comprehend.
Arya had changed too, though the cheeky girl still remained, under layers of deadliness.
Rickon was growing now, but had been thankfully immune to a lot of the trauma the others had suffered, though he had not been apart from it completely.
Lord and Lady Stark hid their changes well, but he could see Lord Stark felt he'd failed them, his guilt heavier than Robb's, and now he was immediately ready to support Jon but not supplant him, Lady Stark was the opposite but her gaze lingered on her children always, this time she'd protect them as she'd tried to last time.
So much changed, so much different.
"Will guards be enough?" Robb asked, "Who is going?" There was Robb the tactician, still there just subdued, Jon knew he'd need it in the battles to come.
"Us, Davos too, 30 guards" Jon said, he knew it sounded paltry "We were invited"
"Initially" Robb said, he had been bought up to speed, as had Lord Stark one night thoroughly on the last year, both keen to know what had been going on in the North recently, much Northern ale had been drank, "But didn't you not respond?"
"Yes" Jon said, "But now we are"
"She'll expect you to bend the knee" Lord Stark said then, stepping in, no doubt overhearing their conversation, Jon smiled at his Uncle, so happy to have him back.
It was different though, Jon knew he couldn't rely on his Uncle, not anymore, he was King now, and could not be weak, but he could turn to his Uncle for guidance, from his infinite experience, and planned to, many a time. The same with Robb.
"I won't" Jon said with a shake of his head, turning to glance at Sansa, chatting away to her Mother and Arya (and from what he could hear Arya was trying to insist she could come South too), "Not for anything"
"Not even for whatever it is you seek from her?" Robb asked. Jon hadn't quite shared his revelation, he would when he returned, if he was successful.
He paused then, would he bend the knee for her dragons? To save his people? His initial answer was yes.
But then he thought about it deeper, as Sansa would often instruct him to do, thought about the consequences beyond the initial decision. He'd gotten good at that, particularly as Lord Commander, what did he do beyond the first choice? Here, he knew that if he bent the knee to save his people, he may damn them to be ruled by a Mad Queen, by a tyrant, and how was that saving them?
"No" He said, he wouldn't, he knew without dragons their prospects against the dead were bleak, but he wasn't about to save his people from one enemy only to hand them to another.
Sure, he could be wrong, perhaps Daenerys Targaryen was kind, was fair, and yet the tone of her letter, and Sansa's inferences to it, he didn't think so.
Besides, the North was independent, it was theres, and they had taken it back, they weren't about to give it away.
"Will you tell her about your parentage?" His Uncle asked then with a wince, Jon imagined having kept it secret for so long, saying it out loud now felt strange.
"If I have to" Jon said, he had thought about, and thought that might work as a way to sway her to his side … or she might see him as a rival for the throne and kill him.
He knew this meeting would be dangerous, could go one of many ways, but it was the chance he had to take.
Once again, he glanced over at Sansa, he didn't want to take any chances with her, but he understood why she'd insisted on coming with him, and he'd do the same in her position. He'd also been reminded of something she'd said to him one night after they'd retaken Winterfell, early on.
"Jon"
"Yes Sansa?"
She had a drink in hand, he one in his, celebrating perhaps, or drowning their sorrows from the losses of battle; either or.
"Promise me when you rule"
"When we rule" He insisted, glad that coaxed a smile out of her; he may be King but he didn't intend to do it alone.
"Promise me you won't treat me like glass" Sansa looked across at him, blue eyes burning fiercely, clearly, determinedly.
"Like glass?"
"Fragile, breakable, don't do things to defend me that shut me out, even if you think its for the best"
"I'll never shut you out" He wouldn't.
"Promise me" Insistent this time, more than he'd seen her before.
"I promise"
He needed to keep that promise, and he would, in taking her South. Every instinct in him screamed to leave her here, safe and behind the walls of Winterfell, but he remembered that promise and would honour it.
"We'll leave on the morrow" Jon said, "With forty guards" His brother and Uncle nodded at that.
"In your absence" His Uncle spoke then, "Do I have your permission to sure up food stores? Get some projects going, answer requests?"
"You have the North in my absence" It felt so strange to speak to his Uncle like that, but less so now, now time had passed, so much time, and so much pain; he was the King now, Sansa had been right. "And all the responsibility that goes with that"
"My King" His Uncle said then bowing his head again, and Jon couldn't help himself.
"Gods that's strange" Laughter followed from the three of them, and once again he glanced at Sansa, smiling as she looked over at them, and he smiled back.
As much as he wished to keep her safe at home, wrapped in wool and safe, he couldn't deny he'd be glad to have her with him.
They ruled together, King and the Lady of Winterfell, Queen in all but name, and he intended to keep it that way.
Preparations to leave were underway immediately.
This was Sansa's area, and she hurried around the Castle, cloak billowing behind her, getting supplies ready for the journey. The armour the men would wear was shined, fresh castle forged steel was put in their hands and shields with the Direwolf of Winterfell were gleamed. Food was packed, Northern hearty food, and clothes, freshly stitched with their family symbol were readied.
They would show their best down South, show the Southerners what House Stark was made of. Would show the Northern teeth.
"Make sure you pack double the amount of Northern ale for the men, Southern spirits are too weak" She ordered one of the cooks and he nodded, hurrying off, Sansa smiled to herself, how far she'd come.
She'd always known she'd run a household one day, had been trained for it, but had been trained to be a wife, to run her husbands keep as he ruled, she supposed that was what she was doing here, but as the Lady of Winterfell to Jon's King in the North, it was perfect.
Sansa had no intention of marrying, none, she would never let herself be at the mercy of a man again.
This was enough.
"Make sure to pack lemon cakes" She told a second cook blushing a little as he laughed and nodded, she had good comradery with servants, something her Mother had taught her, to respect them, and they would follow her orders without question.
"Barking orders?" She whirled and gasped as Robb came up sneakily behind her, and smacked him on the arm with a laugh for scaring her, he just grinned cheekily.
Oh how she'd missed Robb; they'd always been close as the eldest Stark children, and she looped her arm through his as they crossed the courtyard, happy to see him here with her.
It was beyond what her and Jon could have ever hoped for, and only just now seemed real, settling into it.
"How are you?" She asked him then as they trudged through the snow, Sansa glancing over at the blacksmiths, she knew Jon was overseeing which men would attend and the journeys route, her role was here, in supplies. It was almost like a battle, Jon would oversee the troops and the tactics, she would see the men were fed and warm.
Jon the sword, leading the charge, her the shield ensuring the men had what they needed to take that charge.
"Well" Robb said with, a nod, "Adjusting, but it's easier every day"
Sansa nodded, she couldn't imagine it, returning as if no time had passed, "It must all look different"
"Eh" Robb said with a shrug, "The North is the same, it's the people"
"We lost many" Sansa said solemnly, and Robb nodded sadly.
"Yes, but also who's left, you and Jon, I can't believe how different you are"
Sansa smiled then, taking it as a compliment, she wasn't that silly little girl anymore, and never would be again.
"Jon seems wearier" Robb noted, and Sansa nodded too, Robb had a keen eye, always had.
"And me?" Sansa asked then, raising an eyebrow and Robb laughed again.
"Scarier" Again she thumped him and they laughed, but then Robb's face turned concerned.
"Are you sure you'll be safe in the South?" He asked, and Sansa nodded without hesitation, even if she didn't quite believe it.
She knew Jon would keep her safe, but she was worried about her own actions, it would take everything in her not to fall apart when they went South, but she would do it.
For Jon.
"You know" Robb hesitated then, seeming to pick his words out before stopping all together, pain crossing his face.
"What?" She asked.
"I would have traded you for Jaime Lannister in an instant" Robb lifted his gaze to meet hers then, and she softened, smiled, as his Tully blue eyes mirrored hers, she'd missed looking at them, "I just didn't think they'd really do it"
"I know" Sansa said, "But you'd have been a fool to do so"
Robb's eyebrows raised then, shocked, evidently, he hadn't expected that, "What?"
"Jaime was a valuable hostage, trading him for me would have been a poor move in war"
"Your family" Robb said, and Sansa nodded.
"Doesn't change that" It didn't. Sansa was loyal to her family, always, everything she did now protected them, but she'd learned much from many people, and she was no fool anymore.
Robb still held foolish notions of honour, Jon sometimes too, thankfully Sansa saw through all of that.
'Honour' She laughed, 'Honour falls away in the face of what actually works'
That had been Cersei, full of wine, but no less wrong.
"Perhaps you will be alright in the South" Robb said, looking a touch wary then.
"I'll make sure of it" Sansa said, and moved the conversation on, which Robb jumped on, though he continued to look at her a little different; perhaps just now he was seeing how different she had become.
The next day they were ready to move.
The men had been readied, the supplies packed, the route set (down to White Harbour, onto a ship down to Dragonstone), and he and Sansa were dressed in their Stark best, though Jon had refused a crown, he was no prancing Prince.
"You should wear a crown" Sansa had tried to insist, "It's about the station"
"I'm not a King who sits at the back so his crown doesn't fall off" He'd insisted back and Sansa had dropped it (before hurrying off), though by the glint in her eyes he could see she hadn't quite let it go.
"Are we ready?" Jon asked his Hand, Ser Davos then who nodded, and saddled up, leaving Jon and Sansa to say their goodbyes.
The hugs were long, hands clasped, Arya hung onto Jon (and promised Needle at her side to defend Winterfell), Bran offered a cryptic message about staying together, and Rickon made Sansa promise to return, both Ghost and Lady nuzzled them, the two inseparable now. Lady Catelyn fussed over Sansa's cloak, and then he turned to Robb and Lord Stark.
"Be careful" Robb offered before they hugged, patting one another on the back, almost like when he'd left for the Wall, he could see from Robb's face he thought the same.
"I'll be back this time" Jon said with a nod, and Robb nodded too.
"Make sure you are" His Uncle said before clasping him tightly, "Make sure you return and with Sansa"
"On my honour" He offered, before he turned to Sansa, her hugs with Robb and her Father were twice as long, none liked that she was going, but Jon had spoken.
It was strange, to be commanded without question, he couldn't pretend he didn't like it, but it was still odd.
They turned away then, Jon helping Sansa onto her horse before he pulled himself onto his own.
He turned back once to wave, as did Sansa, until the gates were behind them, their family too, distant specks on the horizon soon, as they headed South.
"We'll return" Jon offered in reassurance as he looked across at Sansa, and she nodded.
"I know" She said with a sad smile, "Thank you for letting me come"
"Always" He said, "I need you by my side"
Her smile widened at that and Jon mirrored it, as they both turned frontways and took off, to the South, to the hopeful salvation of their people, side by side.
soooo thoughts?
and they are off!
don't worry, we'll still be seeing winterfell whilst jon and sansa are gone, and someone new may appear...
anywho, do lemme know watcha think! I'm excited to write the next stage of this story, and trust me it only gets twistier from here...
speak soon