(chapter waning: there's a homophobic slur in this chapter and i'm so sorry for anyone who this word may hurt. As someone who is a part of the LGBTQIA+ herself I know how harmful this word can be however it fits the time period and the personality of how i characterised the character who says it.)
I'd been watching him for a while. I didn't understand why my eyes kept drifting to where he sat, or why I seemed to get a little dizzy when his golden brown curls reflected the low light of the pub. I watched as his friends surrounded him, and hugged him and joked and how his mouth twisted up into a slanted half grin. He looked warm and nice, definitely the kind of person I wanted to be friends with. My gaze was also drawn to the jagged, silvery streak across his nose and I found myself fantasising about different ways he could have gotten that scar.
Andromeda looked behind her at the boot that the boy was sitting in with his friends. All of them were good looking and had unique styles and personalities. I'd always longed for a friend group like that. "What are you staring at cuz?" she asked as she swivelled back around to face me. I avoided the question with a laugh as I unravelled the scarf from around my neck. "Do you have friends, Andy?" I asked innocently. Her eyes widened and she smacked my thigh hard. "Why? Do I look lonely?" she laughed. She threw her head back to laugh and this was the most at ease I'd ever seen her. "Well you've spent every day of the last two weeks smoking weed with your baby cousin." I point at which only made her smack me again. "Touche asshole," she smiled at me, "Not many no, I had some in school, a really good one called Alice, but when we graduated, they moved on, lived their lives. Alice went to study fashion in Paris!". She looks a little wistful as she talks about her old friends, but she doesn't look too sad. "Do you ever keep in touch?" I ask curiously. She blinked her glazed over eyes and focused on me, the corner of her mouth jerked down slightly. "Alice writes sometimes but she's busy, she's found this new beaux who takes up her time. I see my friend Ted though, he's the boy who apprentices at the music store." She says this matter of factly, her tone dead as if she was talking to her parents. "Hey! I won't begrudge you your friends Andy! I can't really say much, I don't have any." I say this quickly and raise my arms as if I was surrendering. Andy smirked at that. "Probably because you're so unlikable." she teased.
"And yet you spend every minute with me! What does that say about you?"
"Don't flatter yourself, I'm just desperate for half decent company!"
We banter on like that for a little while longer until my eyes drift back to the little booth, filled with the kind of people that I always wanted to be friends with when I noticed that the boy with the scar and the chubby ginger girl was missing. My eyes scanned the pub until they landed on the pair a few feet away from us at the bar. The boy was tall. Really tall. He must have been 6'3 at least. I tried to imagine my 5 '9 and a half frame beside him and my stomach churned at the height difference. I was so used to being one of the tallest in my family and here came this gangly giant putting me to shame. He was bending low, his face close to the girl, holding her face delicately as he stared intently into her eyes. I felt a pang when I realised that they must have been together and I quickly averted my gaze, not wanting to impose on a romantic moment, but curiosity got the better of me. I'd never been so close to two people who so obviously adored each other. My parents were complacent but never in love. Cygnus seemed infatuated with Druella's curvy figure but he spoke to her with contempt and she to him.
This was different. The boy was looking at the girl like he could read her mind and although I couldn't see her face, it must have mirrored that much adoration in a single glance couldn't be ignored. I felt a strong surge of longing wash over me as he began murmuring softly to her. I couldn't understand why at first so I chalked it up to my longing to be loved like that.
I didn't realise how engrossed I was with the couple until Andromeda was once again pinching my arm. "Jesus Sirius! If you like her so much, go get her damned number!" she huffed when I finally came out of my daze blinking rapidly. I was confused about who she was talking about for a moment before I realised that I was staring in the direction of the ginger girl as well as the boy. I thought bitterly about how I was looking at ~her~ but I didn't know why the comment annoyed me so much. Just as I was about to turn away fully to concentrate on whatever Andromeda was talking about, I watched as a thin, oily, acidic looking boy strode up to the pair who both looked at him with various expressions of negative emotions. I listened as voices began to raise. The girl's voice was shrill and she appeared to be pleading with the boy to calm down, but his voice was quickly getting louder. The boy with the scar was glaring at him violently and if I was the sallow faced boy, I would've immediately backed off/ the greasy boy clearly didn't make sense though. I glanced over at the booth of friends and watched as they began to take notice of what was going on. The boy with the round glances and the incredibly tall blonde girl were shoving their way through the crowded bar towards the confrontation, their brows furrowed in fury. The rest of them were in different states of worry and slowly began to edge their way over to the scene.
"You seeing this?" I murmured to Andy, slightly amused by the situation but when I turned to her, her brows were also furrowed. "I know some of these kids." She said quietly as she surveyed the scene. She nodded to the boy with the round glasses, "That's the Potter kid."
The room slowed. Potter? Potter as in Euphemia Potter? As in my therapist Euphemia Potter? My thoughts echoed one singular word. Well it was a name really. Potter.
Now, after seeing a Potter striding to save someone other than me, I was helpless to my curiosity, I raised slightly from my stool as I watched the oncoming confrontation.
I watched as the scarred boy lay a warning, almost restraining hand on the greasy boys shoulder and then I saw red as I heard a strangled yell "Don't touch me faggot!"
That word. That word snapped me out of my ogling of the Potter boy, who I knew from my first ever phone call with my therapist to be James. My eyes narrowed and without thinking I rose from my stall and strode towards the greasy haired boy, vaguely aware of Andromeda hissing my name, but I didn't care. I hated that word.
My parents, scum of the earth that they are (or in my father's case, was) threw that word around casually and i'd always hated it. Hated how dehumanising and dirty a word it was. Hated how it rhymed with the name of vermin. Hated how they threw it at people who were different, but if I voiced my opinions, they would have turned on me and accused me of being…one. And for some reason, that was mortifying and for that I would always be deeply ashamed of myself. Nonetheless, my parents aren't there now…
My hand caught on the boy's shoulder and I swung him around to face me. He was maybe an inch taller than I was and much skinnier. I smirked at how large I felt next to this boy. "That wasn't very nice!" I whistled, the picture of serenity. Before he could get a chance, to respond, to tell me to bugger off and mind my business, before I could really think about my actions I swung. My fist hit his jaw with a satisfying grunt of pain from him. I ignored the pain that instantly shot up my wrist from the blow and focused on grappling him to the ground. I had the upper hand as I'd caught him off guard and I got in a good few more blows before he rolled over and swung at my jaw. I ducked, but not far enough and his fist connected with my temple. I saw stars and tried to shake away the light buzzing that I was hearing in one of my ears but I chalked it up to adrenaline and ignored it.
As I had finally regained the upper hand and was about to swing again, I felt large, strong hands circle around my waist and lift me off of the now snivelling boy. I lash out as I realise I'm being carried away from the scene. "Let me go!" I scream and kick until we're outside the pub and around the corner when finally I'm dropped on the ground with a hard thud. I rub my thigh and glare up at the culprit accusingly when my electric blue eyes meet narrowed amber ones.
"What the fuck was that?!" He hissed angrily. To my surprise his Scottish accent wasn't as thick as the other people in the pub. I briefly wondered why when I jumped to my feet and my defence. "I think you mean thank you!" I yell defiant, poking a sharp finger into his chest. I know it couldn't have hurt as he was wearing a thick grandad jumper but his eye twitched menacingly and there was a mark on his jaw that was quickly turning from red to blue, and I took a wary step back all to aware yet again of his towering build. I watched him watch my feet. "I can fight my own battles thank you." He said shortly, but his voice was lowered considerably. "That's all you had to say." I huffed and watched as my breath became mist in the air. I folded my arms across my chest, half in defiance and half because it was freezing outside. I didn't get a chance to grab my coat before this lunatic carried me out of the warmth of the pub. "What?" He said, his voice gruff. "I didn't get a chance to say anything before y-"
"All you had to say was thank you. I ignored whatever came out of your mouth before that." I interrupt. He stares at me blankly before the corner of his lips twitches slightly. "Thank you." He said it quickly and his amber eyes bore into mine like he could read my soul, he clearly had no problem with eye contact.
I cleared my throat and looked down, swinging my arms and rocking on my heels.
After some time and a deafening silence, I held out my hand which was turning red from the cold. "Sirius Black." I say quickly, hoping that he'd accept. After a beat that lasted a lifetime, he tentatively took my hand firmly and shook it. I held back a yelp. Perhaps my hand was turning red from injury rather than the frosty September air. "Remus Lupin." He said. I liked his voice, I thought immediately. Now that all the bite had ebbed away, it was soft and deep and warm. I grin. "Nice to meet you." he smiled back, a half smile that only touched one side of his mouth, it was so endearing my heart almost broke. "You too, and you should probably get that wrist looked at you barmy dafty." My grin widened. He was very perceptive. I realised that our hands were still clasped and I dropped mine swiftly into my pocket, immediately missing the warmth of his rough hands. 'I must be really cold." I thought it was dull. Before I could think of something else to say, two identical shrilling noises erupted into the empty clearing and a group of people filed towards us. The ginger girl bounded up to Remus and hugged him tightly before swiftly cuffing his head. "Remus! You know how I feel about you fighting!" she shrieked. Examining his jaw and tutting as she gently rubbed the growing mark.
"I barely touched 'em, Lils," He sighed as he tried to pull out of her grasp.
"Barely!? You managed to knock Avery, Mulciber and Snape on their whiny arses! It was awesome!" The bespectacled boy- James hollered. Lily glared at him menacingly and the powerfully built boy seemed to wilt under her gaze. "Awesome and incredibly sexy!" The black girl, with beautiful bushy brown hair chimed in. I watched as the group interacted when I felt cold hands on my cheek, tilting my head up towards the street light. Only then, as my face was splattered with freezing droplets, did I realise it was raining.
"You fucking knob Sirius!" Andy cried as she pressed her fingers against my temple causing me to gasp in pain. "Stop! Ow! You're as hard handed as my mother!" I say through gritted teeth as my cousin spins me to check the rest of my body. She lifted my injured wrist making me yelp. "I'm starting to think you deserve it." She hissed. "I'm going to be killed! Do you hear me Sirius! Hung , drawn and quartered!" she moaned, "I'll never be trusted again!" She said before dramatically dropping her face into her hands. I rested my palms on both of her shoulders, genuinely worried. "I'm so sorry Andy, I'll take all the blame! It was my fault after all." I murmured to her quickly. "You don't have to do that." She said quietly, her voice muffled by her hands. Before I could respond, she looked up at me with a wicked grin, as usual, her round, brown eyes alight. "You did get a few good punches in there!" She laughed cheekily. I blinked blankly at her, thoroughly confused when another voice chimed in.
"More than a few punches mate! He socked Severus a new one!" I looked around, having forgotten the others in my painful examination and the thought of getting Andromeda into trouble. James was beaming at me and I e
instinctively grinned back.
"Yeah, well, the prick deserved it, throwing around words like that as if he wasn't a slimy piece of phlegm!" I growled, recalling the boy's arrogant face that I now realised reminded me too much of my father, well, an ugly version.
"Yeah well that's Severus for ya!" the tall blonde spoke, "Honestly, I don't know why he's got such a large stick, shoved so far up his ass!"
"Always has." The stoutly boy added. I glanced over at Remus and the ginger girl who stood angrily by his side. "Dont! Okay, he's having a rough time at home!" she screeched before turning on her heel and marching into the darkness. I watched as Remus and the remaining two girls shared a knowing glance before quickly following after her.
I saw Andromeda also watching them leave in confusion. "I don't understand," she mused, "wasn't it her that Severus was being a prick to?". James and the straw haired boy shrugged. The former looked far more upset by this than the latter. "I just don't get her!" James grounded, slumping against the lamppost, "she's one of the most amazing girls to ever live, but she defends that snivelling bag of grease like her life depends on it." James' friend was patting his shoulder comfortingly. "Perhaps it's Stockholm syndrome James." he muttered softly. James nodded at that but he didn't look too convinced. "He really was a snivelling toe rage!" Andy laughed out of nowhere, "Am I allowed to say that about kids now that I'm an adult?" She asked me while still laughing. In a beat all four of us were laughing heartily, clutching our stomachs and throwing back our heads. James' laugh was particularly infectious. "You're allowed to say that especially because you're an adult!" I laughed once I could breathe a little better. "What was his name again?" I mused.
"Severus." The shorter boy replied quickly.
"More like Snivellus' ' I thought. There was a beat of silence as all four of us recognised the sheer genius of this new nickname before we all fell about laughing again. James clutched onto my shoulder to stop himself from falling over which only made me slip in the rain making us both tumble, still laughing laying in a soggy heap.
Once we had all caught our breath we began to walk in the direction of Black Highland Manor, the two boys saying that they lived in the same direction. "I'm Sirius by the way." I say abruptly after a half hour of companionable chit chat
. "Sirius Black." The two boys shared a glance and I noticed James shake him slightly. He held out his hand, the hand that would mean that I didn't have to use my injured hand to shake his. "James Potter." He said cheerfully, "And this is my mate Peter Pettigrew." he said, inclining his head towards the other boy. "Best mate." Peter corrected his friends and they both laughed making me smile a little. After Andy introduced herself to the boys, we walked and talked through the rain for around fifteen minutes more before it was time to part ways.
"You're starting Hallows Academy on monday right?" James asked as we stopped at a fork in the road, one of which led to my new home. "Yup! Why? Sorry to see me leave eh Potter?" I tease lightly. In response, James dramatically clutched his chest above his heart and sang out "Oh good sire you have caught me in the midst of deception! For how can I sleep til I see you next!". While Andromeda and Peter laughed at James' ridiculously high pitched actress voice, I swept into a deep boy and grabbed James' hand to kiss. "Alas fair lady, the sorrow of departure belongs entirely to me! I shall miss you for every waking moment and dream of our reunion in rest!" James' eyes lit up, clearly excited, though it was evident that he and Peter shared a brother-like bond, it was clear that Peter didn't share his love for dramatics or bold declarations of love in the rain. "Do you promise, kind knight?!" James sang.
"It is an oath I shall carry with me for life!" I trilled. And then we were all laughing again at the ridiculousness of the situation. Then I was being yanked by the collar of my shirt, I then realised that I still didn't have my leather jacket. I looked back and saw Andromeda pulling me up the left, stony path. "Say goodbye to your playmates Sirius before our parents figure out we're missing." She said, her voice sharp and authoritative but her tone gentle. I twisted out of her grasp so I could keep in step with her quick feet. "Bye lads! See you Monday!" I called over my shoulder. The rain was getting heavy now so I couldn't fully hear their reply but when I looked back I saw both boys waving before disappearing up their own path.
Andromeda knew a secret way into the manor that would let us avoid any main hallways or communal rooms so in no time and completely undiscovered, we found ourselves in Andy's bedroom, carefully avoiding the thick rug then laying on the hardwood floors.
We lay without speaking for a little while as my mind replayed the events of the night. Andy taking me to the pub. Me ordering my first ever pint and not being ID'd. Seeing Remus and his group of friends in the booth, getting into that fight. Strong arms around my torso carrying me out of the pub (My heart was in my throat when I thought of that and I assumed it was related to the shear strength of Remus Lupin). Walking in the rain with Andy, Peter and James. THE JAMES POTTER! And he was so nice, so funny, so cool! Exactly how I pictured the son of Euphemia Potter to be. I imagined casually dropping that I'd met her son and become practically neighbours with her during our next phone call but decided I'd leave it out concluding that it sounded slightly stalkerish. But I was practically neighbours with the kindest woman I'd ever known. I grinned at the bright chandelier decorating the ceiling of Andy's bedroom before rolling onto my stomach, my head above hers. "Thanks Andy!"
She looked up at me with wide, brown eyes, a small smile playing on her lips too. "For what?". I looked at her in disbelief wondering if she hadn;t realised how happy and comfortable she'd made me in just a couple of short weeks. "For everything." I murmur. Her face splits into a true smile then and she raises her arms to nudge me playfully. "Don;t thank me yet baby cousin, your mother will probably notice that bruise in the morning." I shrugged, at that moment I really didn't care what happened to me in the morning. She chuckled quietly at my nonchalant response. "Go to bed now Sirius! And have a warm shower otherwise you'll catch a cold and i'll send a maid up with an ice pack." she said, as she fussed over the now large bruise and slowly growing bump on the side of my head. "Are you my mother?" I teased. She scoffed and shoved me again and I laughed as i slowly rose to my feet and stretched my back out then ambled from her room, slowly walking through endless corridors and down a flight of stairs before I could finally fall into my room, have a quick shower then melting into bed. I fell asleep with everything shrouded under a golden, amber house that I recognised but couldn't quite put my finger on.