It is 10 o'clock before Velora is knocking at the door, waking me up for the day. I dress in simple clothes -well, as simple as Capitol clothes get- and make my way out for breakfast. I fill my plate and sit across from Haymitch. I smile at him slightly before starting on my food. It is quiet until Sky joins us.
"Well, today is the interviews." I speak. "What do we do?"
"I will help you decide how you are going to behave onstage. Velora will help you with the more Capitol things, like walking and speaking properly." Haymitch tells us. "I'll talk with Sky first while you go with Velora." He nods his head toward me.
"I already know how to walk properly. I'm not even clumsy!" I argue. Seriously, I hunt and bring back game for my family. I bet I could teach these Capitolites how to walk.
"You need to walk in the heels that Clio will have you wear and look confident while doing so." Haymitch sends a weak glare my way. I open my mouth to protest when he holds up his hand to stop me. "You agreed to do as I said." I sigh and nod, going back to eating my breakfast.
"We won't be together for this?" Sky asks, sounding shaky. He's scared.
"No. You need to figure out how to cope without your friend. You won't always have her." Haymitch almost appears sympathetic to Sky, until you look at his eyes which are filled with annoyance.
"Okay." Sky says, quietly.
We finish eating and Velora ushers me into my room where she straps 5-inch heels to my feet and makes me walk. She berates me for hunching or looking at my feet. Eventually, she starts throwing small projectiles at me when I look down or move oddly. Finally, she deems me an 'okay enough of a walker to try a dress.' I am put into a floor-length dress that swirls around my ankles, making walking in heels even harder.
"Why do I have to do this? Why can't I just wear flat shoes?" I ask her.
"Well, no one wears flat shoes in the Capitol!" She almost scolds. "Only the – the poor people wear flat shoes. Those are shoes to work in."
I want to remind her that I am a poor person. A poor working person from the poorest working district, but I refrain. "Well, I appreciate you helping me to look my best." Is all I say.
She grins and says "Well, of course, dear!" Then she throws a tube of lipstick at me since I was slouching again.
After a few hours with Velora, I am finally in flat shoes and make my way to the living area where Haymitch is waiting. He is sitting in one of the chairs and points with his glass toward the chair next to him.
"Drinking already? Aren't you supposed to mentor me?" I ask him, slightly irritated to know that he had been drinking while I was avoiding flying cosmetics.
"I can still mentor. Now, what are you going to do to make the Capitol fall in love with you?" He asks me.
"Uh, remind them that I supply them with the coal that keeps them and those that make their luxury items warm?" I ask, a small smile on my lips.
"Won't work. They think it just shows up, magically. Next." He takes another drink.
"Well, I don't know, Haymitch!" I say, frustrated. "I don't know these people. I don't want to know these people." I cross my arms over my chest and pout.
"Well, they want to know you. That is how you get sponsors." He tells me. "Remember, you have to be smart."
I sigh and sit up straighter. "Well, I don't know how to sell myself."
He winces slightly before he speaks. "They already call you 'big sister.' Try to talk about all the younger kids, which won't be hard since you're one of the oldest going in. Talk about your little sister, and how Sky is her friend. Talk about the District 7 kids if you need to. Talk about wanting the little ones safe."
"What if it makes me cry?" I ask.
"You will not cry." He demands. "You can't cry up there. You have to be strong. You're the Big Sister."
"This is a lot of pressure." I tell him.
"It gets better after this. Then, after the games, the Victor has to do it all over again, continuously, unless they become undesirable. Like me." He smirks at me before finishing off his glass.
"What do you mean? You're undesirable?" I ask him. He's a victor, they love him here.
"I am a surly drunk. I am rude and never smile. I am never pleasant to them anymore. I don't have to be." He looks at me, very seriously. "I don't recommend that course of action, though." He shrugs, "Oh, well. We learn from our mistakes. 'Do as I say, not as I do' and all that." He refills his glass and take another swig.
"But I see you smile all the time!" I tell him. "And I wouldn't call you unpleasant. What did you do to piss them off?"
"You're the only one who would say that I am not unpleasant." He smirks at me. "And I pissed them off by not playing their games."
"Teach me how to do that. I don't want to play their games, either." I tell him.
"That's not an option for you." He says, quietly.
"Why not?" I ask.
"You have a family. They could go after those you love to hurt you." He says, looking me in the eye.
"Oh." I say, and my eyes widen as realization hits. "You used to have family. I remember seeing them on your games."
"I did." He says, and his tone says end of discussion.
"I'm sorry, Haymitch."
He looks at me for a moment before sighing. "So, Big Sister," He begins, speaking with an accent like the Capitol people, "tell me about your District."
I go on a long rant about my sister and how much I love her and my mom. I tell him about taking care of them by working as many jobs as I can. I tell him about Birch and Sky playing in the yard while Mom washes clothes and I stitch up old, ripped clothes for the miners who don't have wives to do it for them.
"Tell me about the competition." He asks once I am done.
I talk about all the younger kids, especially from Seven. This goes on and on, every time I finish, he asks me another question, and I answer, like I am a Big Sister to everyone around me.
"Not bad." He says after I have answered about 5 questions. "You need to sit straighter though. Look confident."
"I'm confident!" I argue.
"But you look beaten down." He tells me. "Be proud that you are Birch's big sister. Everyone's big sister."
I make a humph noise before sitting straight up. I cross my ankles and smile at him. "I wish I could just take all these kids home with me and wrap them up in soft blankets and make sure that no harm ever comes to them."
"Hmm. I suppose that works." He seemed to slouch a little. "You just have to make them love you. That way, they will send money."
I wave side to side. "I got it. Thanks for actually trying."
"Trying?" He asks.
"Yeah. Trying to get me out of there."
"Well, you supply my liquor." He grins at me, raising his glass.
"My grandmother does that. I just help her sometimes." I smile at him.
"Well, it's nicer to buy it from you." He says, matter-of-factly.
"So, Caesar is going to ask you about a boyfriend, or your love life in general."
"Oh, he's gonna ask be about something that doesn't exist?" I ask, laughing a little.
"There is no one you're interested in?" Haymitch asks, his eyebrow quirked in question.
"Nah. Too much else to worry about. Most of the boys my age are dumb anyway." I shrug. And really, they are. Running around, being stupid. Or they do what I do and support their families, not leaving much time for anything romantic.
"So, being a Big Sister is more important than boys?" He smirks at me.
I laugh, "Yeah, I guess so."
"Alright, that's enough prep. You need to eat and then go meet with Clio. She has to have enough time to make you pretty." Haymitch finishes his whiskey and stands, extending a hand to help me up.
"Oh, like I need any help there." I say with confidence. I always did things like this to make Birch laugh. Plus, a young girl needed someone with confidence in her life. Young girls are never confident, always assuming they aren't pretty, or that everyone is better than them. Birch didn't seem to have issues like that, and I hope that us constantly acting conceited about our looks did something to help her.
"Oh, a little stuck on ourselves, are we?" He chuckled, still holding onto my hand.
"Usually." I grin. I pull my hand away and start walking away. "No one else is." I grumble slightly.
He stops me, grabbing my arm. "Maybe they are stuck on you, they just don't know how to express it."
I look at him and raise an eyebrow. "They could just tell me." I look away and laugh. "Good morning, beautiful! I am just stuck on you!" I snigger. "That would be hilarious."
Haymitch smirks at me. "Go get something to eat, Darling."
"Will do!" I salute him and walk out of the room, and I hear him sigh behind me. Maybe I shouldn't mess around so much, it seems to irritate him.
~oOo~
I am standing backstage waiting for the interviews to finish. I will be second to last, since I am District 12. This dress that Clio put me in is kind of crazy. She said that they want me to look mature, like a big sister.
So, the black dress is form fitting, but doesn't really show any skin. It goes to my knee on the left side, but almost hits the floor on the right side, Clio called it asymmetrical. It has no sleeves, and the wide straps that go over my shoulders are covered in red, glimmering stones. The neckline comes down a little and is loose, waves of fabric dangling; to enhance your womanly figure, Clio had said. The red stones were dense on the top and slowly diminished to where the last stones were around my hips and thighs. Like I was burning. My make-up was done to enhance the red, so my lips and eyelids are very bright red.
The mentors are out in the crowd. Haymitch had looked at me and told me You'll do. The interviews so far are normal. Some kids are cocky, talking about the rest of us like we are just target practice. Others are shy and quiet, only answering with "yes Caesar," or "no Caesar."
Finally, the male tribute from Eleven walks off stage, and Caesar is standing before the crowd. "Oh, ladies and gentlemen, what a prize we have next! The girl we have all seen and dreamed of to be our Big Sister, Raven Copperstone!"
The crowd screams and claps as I walk onstage. I smile so huge that it feels like my face will split open. Oh, what if I am stuck like this?! I see myself on a screen behind the audience, and boy, did Clio know what she was doing with these stones. Each one catches the light and sparkles beautifully, and I definitely look like the oldest tribute that has been on stage tonight. The dress makes me look elegant.
I approach Caesar and he takes my hand, "Raven! Welcome!" He bows over my hand and kisses my knuckle. He then gestures to the chair, I take a seat, and he follows suit.
"Alright! Now," he begins once the crowd quiets. "Tell us about District 12, and your family!" He grins as he finishes.
"Oh, my family?" I smile and make sure that I am sitting straight. I cross my ankles like Effie told me to before I respond. "I have my mom and my little sister, Birch."
"Birch? Is she the little girl who was crying when your name was called?" He asks.
"Yes." I smile. "She was very upset."
"Well one can only imagine." He says, leaning forward slightly. "Does she not think you'll win?"
"I'm not sure. She did order me to win though." I grin again, this time genuinely at my little sister.
Caesar laughs, "Oh, did she?"
"Yes. I told her the things she needed to do since I was leaving, how to keep up the things I had been doing. I also made her promise not to quit school." I didn't really make her promise, but they didn't need to know that.
"What a great big sister!" He grins again and then asks, "what do you think of the competition?"
"What, all these kids? I think these kids need to be taken home, wrapped in blankets and kept safe and sound with full bellies." I smile again. "I want them all to be safe."
The crowd awes and Caesar smiles softly. "But that can't happen."
"No, it can't. I do plan on taking a couple of kids under my wing, though. Keep them as warm and fed as I can." I smile back at him, a soft, warm smile.
"Well, aren't you just the kindest tribute we've ever seen?" He asks and the crowd cheers. "Sweet enough that a boyfriend might be missing you?"
"Oh, no time for that!" I laugh.
"No time! You're eighteen! There is plenty of time for that!" He laughs and the crowd laughs.
I shake my head, "Well, you see, I work to feed my family. And the times that I am not working, I am spending with my sister. There ISN'T time." I smile again.
"Well, is there anyone who might make you want to make time?" he asks, a purple eyebrow raised.
I sit for a moment, acting like I am thinking, and a face does pop into my mind. Haymitch is not a love interest. I internally scoff at myself before answering, "I can't think of anyone specific, but I would like someone who would take care of me, a little."
"Oh, an older man!" He laughs and I grin as the buzzer goes off, cutting off the interview.
"Well, lets give our Big Sister a proper farewell! Raven Copperstone, it's been a pleasure!"
The crowd goes crazy as I shake Caesar's hand and make my way off stage. Velora is waiting for me when I am done. "You did wonderful, dearie! And I couldn't take my eyes off of you in that dress!"
I smile, "Thanks, Velora. Can I sit?" I gesture to one of the couches off to the side.
"Well of course!" She ushers me over to one and I plop down. I can tell that my hand is shaking, and I start taking deeper breaths to calm my heart.
Sky's interview is sad. He keeps talking about home, and he cries! He talks about how my sister is his friend and that we know each other well. This gets the crowd cooing since they know only one of has a chance of leaving.
Once he is offstage, we follow Velora to the elevators and go up to our apartment. I walk in and immediately go to lean against a wall so I can take my shoes off when the elevator doors open again and Haymitch step out.
He looks at Sky first, and although I can tell he is disappointed, he just sighs and says, "Good job, kid." He walks over to me as I am working the second shoe loose and just grabs ahold of my ankle. I almost lose my balance and end up with both hands on the wall as he pulls my shoe off and tosses it across the room.
He helps me stand straight and grins at me, his body almost touching mine. "Great interview, Darling. They loved you."
I smile, "Thanks. Could you see how nervous I was?"
"Eh, not really. Your voice shook on the first question, but after that it was great." He smiles again and takes a step away from me. "You should both go get changed and come down for dinner. We will watch the interviews later."
Velora ushers Sky out of the room and goes to order dinner. I watch as Haymitch goes to a cabinet nearby and pulls out a glass and a bottle of whiskey. He pours a glass and just as he is raising it to his lips, I swipe it from his fingers and drink almost the whole glass.
"Hey!" He almost shouts.
I hand him back the glass and give a small smile. "Sorry, needed that." I shrug and walk away, headed to my room. I hear him chuckling behind me.
~oOo~
Dinner went without a hitch. Our stylists joined us, and everyone was congratulating us—mostly me—on our successful interviews. I noticed Haymitch glancing at me, and I eventually crossed my eyes at him, making him smirk. Then, we started making stupid faces at each other. He got especially daring and ended up getting caught. "Oh Haymitch! The asparagus does not need to be used as fangs!" Velora had snapped, then under her breath, "I shouldn't have to admonish a Mentor!" I almost snorted out my water, which made Haymitch laugh even harder.
After we ate, we all went into the living room to watch the interview recaps. I sat at the end of the couch and Haymitch chose the chair next to me. After the fourth interview, I noticed Haymitch was holding his glass of whiskey in his hand closest to me. I slowly reached over and slipped it out of his hand, never looking over. I saw his head snap my way for a moment before he grinned and went back to watching the interviews. I took a sip and handed it back. That became our game to get through the interviews. How many times could I steal drinks from Haymitch?
The answer turned out to be seventeen. I was returning the glass after my seventeenth sip just as slowly as I had taken it, and Clio caught my eye. Her eyes widened, and I offered her a sheepish grin. She shook her head, but I saw a smile, so I must have been in the clear. When I looked at Haymitch, he was grinning at me, trying not to laugh at my being caught.
My interview finally came up, and I watched myself. I looked fairly confident and nowhere near as uncomfortable as I was. When Caesar made the comment about me needing an older man, I looked over to Haymitch, surprised when I met his eyes. He wasn't smiling this time.
Sky's interview was just sad. The boy cried and talked about my sister. The crowd seemed to be sniffling too, and Caesar appeared to not know how to handle this kid that knew he wasn't going to make it home.
After the interviews, the stylists excused themselves, telling us that they'll see us tomorrow. Sky said a very quiet goodnight and gave me a quick hug before going off to his room. Haymitch must have had that talk with him, because the kid barely talked to me anymore. He seemed to keep to himself, although he was still friendly toward me.
Velora gushed for a while about how our interviews went. "I would sponsor you after that interview!" She had shrieked before following it up with "But they don't let escorts sponsor anyone." She wished us a goodnight and reminded me to get some sleep before the games tomorrow, then she was gone. Haymitch and I were alone.
"How much did you drink?" He asks me, before taking a swig out of his glass.
"Enough." I giggle. "I might actually be able to sleep tonight."
"Careful. Don't want to start relying on this stuff." He warns.
"Well, not like I'm gonna have access to any in the arena." I huff.
"True."
We are silent for a while. I wrap my legs under me and lean against the arm of the couch. "What is it gonna be like in there?" I ask him.
"No idea. Guess we'll find out tomorrow." He says, taking another drink.
"Do you really think I have a chance?" I ask quietly.
"You are the first tribute I've mentored that I think has a chance. You just have to be smart. Pick your battles. Find food and water." He takes another drink, emptying his glass. He quickly refills it and hands it to me.
I take the glass and hold it for a moment. "You know, when Caesar asked me if I had anyone that I would make time for, I kind of lied." I tell him before taking a drink. I did not pass the glass back though and held it against me. He was looking at me now, waiting for me to continue. "At first, I didn't have anyone come to mind. After a second, your face came to mind."
I went to take another drink and he quickly snatched the glass from me. "I think that's enough alcohol for you." He said before taking a drink out of the glass.
I shrug. "I haven't really had a friend. I have someone—more of a partnership, really—we help each other feed our families. But not a real friend. Someone I can just talk to and be myself with. I can with you." I take a deep breath and sigh, "and now, I get to go into an arena to be killed for entertainment."
He is just looking at me and finally opens his mouth to speak, "I know the feeling. I don't have anyone. I am alone. But you make me laugh and just—have a good time." He takes a drink again before continuing, "you have to make it out of there. Add me to the list of people who need you. I need my friend."
I smile at him and nod. "Okay, Haymitch. I'll make it out of that arena. For you." I stand now and walk over to him. "I'm gonna go to bed." I lean over and place a quick kiss to his cheek. "Goodnight."
I leave him then and go to my room. I slowly strip to my underclothes and climb under the covers, grinning like an idiot.
I have a friend. A real friend. But is that all I want?