youll get mad at verity in this chapter be warned.

A door shut quietly, I felt my hand being picked up and held. The top of my hand was rubbed in slow circles by a calloused thumb. I opened my eyes feeling bleary. I lay on a cot, in a small room with stone walls, there was a stool next to the cot. Legolas sat on it holding my hand staring intently at it his brows furrowed. He rubbed circles on my hand with his thumb. His face was ragged, tearstained, he had deep bags under his eyes, his skin didn't have quite the same glow as before. It was fainter. I tried to clear my throat to speak but couldn't all that came out was a breathy gasp. Legolas froze. A millennium passed before he looked up meeting my eyes. His eyes brimmed with tears, relief washed over his face. I tried again to speak bringing my hand he was not holding up to my throat feeling a bandage there. This time I managed a breathy croak. It burned my throat.

"Do not speak Lóth tui Try to drink."[Flower bud] He reached down and grabbed his water skin and held it to my lips. Before, I know I would have blushed, thinking of him rubbing my hand in comfort, drinking from the same bottle as him. The me before, seems so far away now, marred by war. That me was innocent, knowing no bloodshed or bloodlust in the manor. I drank thirstily, the cool water soothing my aching throat. He pulled the waterskin away from my lips and attached it back to his belt. It felt different with Legolas now; the air was thick with unsaid feelings.

I tried to speak again "Leg-"I mustered before my voice gave out. His hand grabbed again for mine and began rubbing circles on the top as if it were a nervous comfort of his. Like picking at your cuticles or biting your nails, except his nervous comfort happened to be my hand.

"Please don't you will hurt yourself" he whispered his eyes held guilt. I squirmed to sit up wincing at the pain. He quickly helped me sit up holding onto my hand and bracing another against my back, gently holding my weight. His face was inches from mine I felt his hot breath on my neck. I turned to stand up "No you must rest Ae lóth "[small flower] he protested but didn't stop me.

He continued holding my back and hand steadying me as I rose to my feet. My clothes were changed again; this tunic was tighter on the bust as the first one I wore. I took a wobbly first step my knees going out as Legolas wrapped an arm around my waist catching me. "You must rest Tarlanc er "[stubborn one] I ignored his gentle pleading. And continued taking weak stumbling steps towards the door, every step I took he caught me and sighed. Seeming to know if he dragged me back to the bed I'd wait until he left to get up on my own anyway. Reaching the door I leaned against it not opening it.

I panted feeling fully exerted and embarrassed this was as far as I could go. He didn't push me; he stayed there holding my body waiting for me to make the decision on my own. I shook my head turning around allowing him to guide me back to the cot. My neck was already soaked in sweat from what little I walked around the room. He propped my head with pillows, taking his seat again next to me grabbing my hand rubbing it again the way he had before. This felt so natural, so comfortable. His touch felt like home. I pulled my hand away from his and made a motion with mine holding my palm out pretending to write on it with an invisible pen in the other. He nodded understanding my request. "I will fetch the Healer and see about getting you parchment and quills, are you hungry?" I shook my head no. and he frowned. I truly wasn't hungry all I felt was exhaustion and pain in my throat I'm sure eating food would rub it raw and make it even worse. He left the room and I drifted back to sleep

I woke up to a different elf entering my room, looking much like Legolas, with long blonde hair and a sharp jawline. "Your hand graced the valley again this morning" he said I looked at him confused. He sat on the bench next to the bed and reached to brush my hair away from my neck to look at the bandage underneath. "alfirin or as the men call it Simbelmynë, they are small white flowers." He began unwrapping the bandage on my neck.

"Alfirin is a Sindarin name, said to mean 'not dying' " now my neck was bare as he turned my head examining the bruising and swelling "the flowers bloom all season, its smell is faint and sweet. You cannot cultivate the flower. Many have tried. It springs up on its own accord, only gracing graves of the mighty."

He rubbed salve on my tender neck now. "The flowers reach to the horizon." He said wrapping my neck in a new bandage. "You should be able to try speaking in a few hours you are healing quickly." He said and bowed dismissing himself I lay there in my thought. Flowers as far as the horizon? This morning? This morning I had. When had I done it, in my sleep? How long had I been asleep? The door opened and Legolas crept in quietly holding parchment ink and a quill. He laid the parchment on the cot over my legs, helping me sit up. it would be much easier to write sitting at a desk but we both knew I couldn't do that quite yet. He dipped the quill in the ink and handed it to me smoothing out the parchment in anticipation. My hand shook holding the quill splattering small dots of ink along the page as I penned the best I could on the uneven surface of my legs. When I was satisfied with what I wrote I handed the quill back to him and turned my paper to him pointing at my questions.

'What happened? Where are we did we win is everyone ok' he held the parchment up furrowing his brows trying to read my sloppy writing.

"After we road into the garrison, Gandalf and the Rohirrim arrived. The battle was practically won after that. You were…" he trailed off setting the paper down his knuckles were white. I didn't look at his face keeping my gaze steady on his shaking hands.

"Why didn't you go to the caves?" he paused trying to compose himself "I thought I lost you" his voice cracked. Why did he care? Is it simply because I'm sent from the Valar and the elves have some sort of reverence for them? Does he feel protective of me as one does for a child or the lame? His hands were now shaking so badly the paper flapped and wiggled in his lap, I placed a hand reassuringly on his wrist and met his eyes urging him to continue. His eyes held torments of Grief and guilt. He took a shaky breath.

"You are in the healing halls we are still in Hornburg. You have slept only for a few hours, it is now midday" he paused, his face pained.

"We have won the battle but not the war, we have lost many." He said. My eyes widened as I tried to read his face try to know who had fallen. My breath quickened, and my heart rate increased as I began to panic.

"Gandalf, Aragorn and Gimli are uninjured." He said seeming to read my thoughts. An instant calm washed over me.

"Would you like to see them Dilthen lóth "[ little flower]

I nodded my head a soft smile rested on my lips. He grinned widely seeing me smile. Seeming to explode in joy at my small expression.

He stood up quickly to fetch them. Soon my room was teeming in laughter and friendship. Gandalf embraced me first "I've heard you made a mighty warrior, Verity Woodward." He said I shook my head looking down in shame. If I were a mighty warrior I would have saved more, I would have been able to use a bow and arrow, or hold a sword with one hand. I wouldn't hesitate to kill. I was no warrior.

"Let not your conscious be marred, you fought valiantly. The Rohirrim have even started calling you 'riel thegn' "Aragorn said I looked at him confused "it is in their native tongue. The translation would be I think garland maiden warrior. "I was shocked. They think of me as a warrior? Little weakling me.

"That elvish medicine they gave her made her lose her wits about her!" Gimli said pointing a playful finger at Legolas. They all laughed exchanging war stories around my cot, the comradery you only get amongst soldiers. "Now alright ya Lavvy heid Elf, I'll have you know I asked to be tossed!" Gimli grumbled. They laughed together and I smiled widely feeling so wholly complete. This is where I belong, whatever life I had before, whatever path I was placed on it, has all led here.

My eyes began to feel heavy and one by one they each said their goodbyes to me, Gandalf and Aragorn grabbed my hand giving it a small squeeze while saying goodbye. Gimli however patted my head. Mumbling something along the lines of 'theres the lass.' The last to leave was Legolas he reached for my hand to hold before saying goodbye. I squeezed his hand not wanting him to leave. I looked at him my eyes somber, apprehensive to be alone. His hand was now limp in mine, and I held on with all my strength. His eyes held an unknown emotion. "Your dreams still Haunt you." he said more as a statement than a question. I didn't know if I should nod or shake my head, it wasn't so much my dreams that made me not want to be alone. All I could manage was a stare. He gestured for me to lie back, returning his hold on my hand. He scooted the stool closer to the head of the cot. Sitting back down, brushing a hair out of my face he began to sing softly in elvish. I fell asleep almost instantly.

"Verity Door!" sixteen year old me ran down the hall towards the front door passing her mother who stood in the living room with a knowing smile on her lips. She stopped by the front door adjusting her floral print daydress. She opened the door to reveal a young man probably close to her in age. He wore baggy dark clothing; his hair was greasy clinging to his face. His eyes were lined as a raccoon. He looked as if he had spent the day dumpster diving. "Hey Ver "he smirked gesturing for her to follow him to his car parked in the driveway. "You look great. "She blushed covering her mouth with her hand and giggled. She got into the passenger seat of his beat up red Chevy and buckled her seatbelt. He did not buckle his. He drove them to a small walking trail and parked the truck not making a move to get out. He leaned over kissing her, his hands resting on her knees. She gasped into the kiss and his hands crept up under her dress to her thighs. She shoved him away, unbuckling and running out of the truck quickly. He climbed out quickly after her "Ver! Stop, you know what you do to me I can't help it!" she turned to him tears in her eyes "You know I am saving myself!" He jogged towards her as the tears freely flowed down her face. "Ver look I'm sorry you just excite me is all." he said reaching for her hands. She yanked them away. "That is a touch I will only allow from my future husband, we're over." She said storming off in the direction of her home.

I woke up feeling much better, my throat still ached but it was dull. My hand felt cold, Legolas was no longer in the room. I wonder if he ran out as soon as I had fallen asleep. Feeling like a babysitter? Of course he did! He wanted to leave when everyone else did and I made him stay! I sat up slowly, my head no longer pounding like before, still feeling light headed and dizzy. I moved the blanket off of me and stood up. Walking wobbly out of the room and into the hall, it was dimly lit I gripped the wall steading myself. I followed the direction of men talking. I turned a corner and came into the great hall. Tables and benches were spread out a faint glow of candles and a fire in the hearth lit the room. The windows let in a soft orange light showing it was sunset. I saw a man carrying a plate of food and followed him my stomach growling, wanting my own plate. I was in the middle of the room when I heard the whispers and chatter.

"riel thegn"

"riel thegn Lives!"

I tried to ignore them focusing on walking steadily I had long lost the man with the plate and now had no idea the direction to go. A crowd had formed around me some of them cast white flowers at my feet.

I stood completely still not knowing how to react. They didn't owe me any thanks I had failed them.

I tried to speak but nothing came out. I smiled weakly at them and bowed, hoping that was enough of a response for them. They parted and I continued walking until I found the kitchen. Their eyes still watched me, some still whispering the name they gave me. I walked into the kitchen happy to be away from all those watching eyes. I filled a bowl full of grapes and walked outside through a side door. I popped a grape in my mouth feeling the crisp evening air I chewed slowly the motion hurting my jaw. I swallowed, the acidic juice caused my throat to burn. But my hunger overruled both pains. I walked around the cold city snacking on my grapes, I had no destination in mind. I don't even know why I was out here. I walked until I was deep in the garrison. The bodies that had fallen have been moved or disposed of but the rubble and wreckage of the battle still lay here. I walked up the steps of the fell wall. Reliving the trauma of last night. I stepped over large stones and made it to the wall. I walked on it, the stone beneath was unsteady and shifting. The gray stone reflecting the moons soft glow. I continued on until I reached the ledge. Looking over it, I took a sharp breath in. the valley had not so been taken care of, bodies of orcs and men alike sinking almost hidden in soft white mounding flowers. Fallen Ladders and wooden structures seemed to flow into the flowers; the flowers sparkled in the moonlight. I breathed deeply expecting to smell iron with so much death in front of me but instead I smelt a sweet fragrance. I set the bowl down on the ledge, looking over at the flowers. We lived. We made it.

"You should be resting Dilthen lóth "[little flower] Legolas called from behind me. How did he always find me?

"I don't need you to babysit me." I said not facing him still looking out onto the valley. My voice was hoarse and I surprised myself by speaking. It ripped my throat raw but I didn't care.

"Dilt-"

"No! I don't need your pity or your fancy names. I'm not a child! You don't have to follow me around everywhere and check on me. "I turned to him I was hurt, I wanted his affections he shown me to be real and genuine.

"Do you know what that does to me? When you call me friend then treat me as a child?" I was trying hard to yell, wishing to convey my emotions but they only came out a hoarse whisper. I wanted to add how I wish we might be more than friends but left that part out. I so desperately wanted it be regarded as his equal. His jaw clenched and his eyes darkened.

"I apologize, that was not my intention." His eyes met mine full of pain. I wanted to take everything back. I wanted to apologize for my outburst even if I meant every word. I wanted to go back and never say them. "I will take my leave of you, Lady Verity" he said turning around briskly and walking down the stairs. Something inside me shattered hearing him call me by my actual name. I stood there for a long time staring at the place he stood, mulling over everything I said. The word vomit was bitter in my mouth. I returned to my room in the healing halls and had a restless night of sleep.