- Hello... Justice...
The answer was always silence, which left Ky with too much time to think. He could not stop coming to this room again and again, and all he could do was sit down, habitually fold his hands on his knees and think, surrounded by a ringing emptiness.
Justice was silent - as if lifeless.
At first, Ky tried to stir her up, but his phrases never turned into dialogues, and "interesting" news hung in the air - with such constancy that sometimes you wanted to give up. Justice blinked only occasionally, and this was the only visible movement by which it could be determined that she was still alive. Now her eyes were clearly green, but Ky, trying to be honest with himself, admitted that he no longer cared about their color. Her eyes were empty, indifferent and lifeless, completely losing that tenacity and living intelligence in her gaze that had once shocked him. They resembled the eyepieces of her old helmet, a dull shiny synthetic material without the slightest glimmer of life - and it physically hurt.
The clinical death Justice suffered could have affected her mental abilities. Ky asked about the possibility of such consequences almost as soon as he got over the shock of being told that she could live again. "She was lucky," came the rather hostile answer. Deservedly: because of stupid guesses, an entire resuscitation team was forced to work hard. "She'll be able to think," compassion must have stirred in the medical worker, because he added: "And do the rest, probably, whatever she wants. But you gave us some work, of course..."
Ky remembered the feeling of joy that flashed through him at that moment - timid, a little ashamed and, as it turned out, premature.
Justice wanted absolutely nothing. It seems even to live.
The stool routinely scraped against the dull linoleum. Ky sat down opposite, nodded with forced friendliness to the motionless interlocutor and, after waiting for even the shadow of a reaction to appear, he again began to reason mentally.
Justice was silent - so unshakably that it caused resentment and anger. She spoke to him as they stood face to face as bitter enemies. She agreed to conduct a dialogue later, being a hostage of time and medications. But now... Ky managed to remember all the episodes he had gone through: furious arguments, his reaction to other people's truths, verbal confrontations, unwanted concessions, attempts to find a common language, the emergence of trust that contradicted logic, the search for Sol, the consequences of his intervention, his belated awareness of attachment, the last an explanation, a painful farewell. He was willing to admit that he could have done something better - but he did not see what he should be ashamed of. The Justice he knew had rational reasons for her actions. But this did not change the fact: Justice was silent - and Ky could not understand what he had done wrong.
Perhaps he would have already been able to draw from memory a half-erased drawing on the floor, which he unconsciously examined when he was distracted from thoughts that had gone into completely inaccessible distances. He began to avoid looking at Justice's face, knowing all too clearly that if he looked up, he would see her empty eyes. Ky didn't have the heart to start yelling at her. Justice wasn't too far from where she was vomiting blood. And Ky was also afraid that this would simply result in hysteria.
- Perhaps I should stop coming here? - he asked one day. Justice pursed her lips slightly - a simple movement, but her heart fluttered with hope, and then contracted - Justice froze again. Ky clenched his hands so that on the way back he discovered several scarlet semicircles on his palms.
"What did I do to deserve such treatment?!" It would be ugly, stupid and too emotional, and the exclamation remained inside - along with the rest of the things spinning there and overlapping each other. Ky understood that as long as this continued, he was increasingly at risk of breaking down - perhaps even regardless of what exactly happened.
- Justice.
Giard was silent as usual. Ky placed a small paper bag on the bedside table.
"They told me that you can eat," Ky smiled – to himself: he never asked what the team giaras ate. - True, I don't know if you'll like this.
I wanted to believe that it wasn't his imagination and for a moment a glimmer of warmth appeared in her eyes. There was no movement, and Ky sat down in his usual place.
- I would like... - he fell silent. This was the only way he could think of, and if it didn't work, then... Ky straightened his shoulders, restoring in his mind the image of the knight who always took him as an example.
"I would like you to remember one thing," he said confidently and clearly. - We used to tell each other the truth. Even though it sometimes led to... unpleasant incidents. I would like to use this method again. Please.
In the piercing silence, the steps of the nurse on duty and even the quiet hum of the sanitary post could be heard coming from the other end of the corridor. Clearly, as if to spite him, an invisible metronome beat out the seconds. There was a quiet rustling outside the window. Ky closed his eyes painfully, trying to focus only on the sounds and not what they meant. Justice was silent.
He opened his eyes reluctantly, tiredly, and did not even immediately realize that he had met Justice's piercing gaze. Fears about a breakdown turned out to be true - Ky barely restrained himself from getting to his feet. Funny little thing? He had no time for such reasoning - Ky had time to change his mind too much.
"I can't understand what's happening to you, and it worries me," he said softly, not letting any notes of resentment slip through. -What don't you want to talk about?