Chapter 1: Every end is a new beginning
She watched from behind as the shade of the man she once used to cry for was yet again leaving. But this time there was something different. The sun was up in the sky with the promise to make light on these new paths they were all going to walk.
"You have nothing to do with my sins," the words echoed as she watched the silhouette fading on the horizon.
In a curious spur of the moment, she had asked Sasuke if this time he would be willing to take her with him on his travels. It was their thing from back when Sasuke first left Konoha, and for a moment, Sakura felt the need to test those waters. For what purpose? She wasn't exactly sure herself.
To put to test her bond with Sasuke, to see his reaction? Reasons could've been a handful, but at the end of the day, she felt like it was something she had to do, so she did it.
As that echoed through the chambers of her mind, Sakura then turned back towards the grandiose gates that were the entrance to Konoha. Kakashi was there watching from behind.
"Kakashi sensei!" she murmured as the man held his hand up in the air in his usual wave.
"Well, Sakura, I've got a lot on my plate now with this Hokage business so I've got to roll back. Care to join me or…?" the man asked as he slowly started walking away into the city.
"You just go ahead, sensei! I'll catch-up with you later" she replied. For some inexplicable reason, she wanted to stay there for a little while longer, as her mind kept replaying the moments of her departure from Sasuke.
That thank you evoked memories of a distant past, but the forehead poke that followed soon afterwards ignited some feelings in her heart she didn't know how to respond to. For so long she had wanted the faintest response from Sasuke's part that now that she got one, it felt bizarre.
Used to chasing after him for such a long time, and especially his on and off treatment in the war, along with the newest developments left Sakura with all kinds of confusing feelings and a mind that raced, unable to still itself.
All these contradictions bumped into one another inside her mind, feeling as if her spirit didn't have enough space to reside in there. From that to getting flustered and feeling crowded into her own body, and thus by extension quite fussy, was only a small step. The redness on her face slowly built up as all those thoughts kept racing inside her mind.
'What was that gesture Sasuke did? On my forehead. On this big forehead I've always hated. After all this time. Such a gentle touch, though...' one of the voices was quick to point out, as a small smile drew itself on the right corner of her lip. But then, it wasn't long until another one came around. 'But then again, in the war… he was so cold, like… he didn't care at all about the fact that I was about to be roasted like a chicken out in the open in Kaguya's dimension. He treated me and Kakashi-sensei so coldly!' the switching voice was quick to point out. 'But then he apologized, and now he said thank you. And even touched my most hated feature. He can be trusted now, right?' the contradictions kept playing inside her head.
"You're back again, aren't you?" Sakura said snarkily at her own inner voices, which were all part of the same old Sakura, the one she seldom left out in the open for the naked eye and kept hidden for various reasons. Be it that she had to be the exemplar child, or student at the academy.
"Bah!" she was quick to let out a shout as to somehow breathe out all those frustrations and try to get herself back down to Earth again. This wasn't the best time to overthink, but somehow her ever-working mind wasn't cooperating with her right now.
Such a skillful mind was perfect when it came to Byakugō. To be able to work at all times, even in her sleep and continue to amass chakra so that it could awakened was all that was needed.
Finally, those geeky years in her academy days paid off. That packed with her hobby to memorize different trivia games and information, were put to good use.
When she had to control every aspect of her chakra so that the portion she might lose while performing a jutsu be put into her seal, to her it was like icing on the cake. Like a muscle that memorizes a move after repeating it enough times. It eventually becomes a second nature of some sorts.
All she had to do was to observe and sense her chakra flow while performing a certain technique, direct it somewhere else, and then make her body memorize that movement. Repeat it once or twice until her body got the knack of it and that was it. It didn't take long until she was able to do it even when she was asleep.
But when it came to matters of the heart and soul, well… such a mind felt more like a curse than a blessing.
Being able to see the possibilities, the outcomes, the threads… it wasn't that easy. Human interaction and social situations required more than a mechanical mind working like the perfect machinery.
But as all those lines of thinking kept tangling more and more, until she could barely see it getting untangled any time soon, she felt a warm hand on her right shoulder.
Sakura instantly felt her body entering into a state of calm from the warmth. Her mind stilled and the fog inside it dissipated. She knew very well that sensation. It was only one person who could succeed in making her feel that way. It was no mistaking it and she smiled warmly as she turned around to confirm the person behind her.
"Naruto," Sakura acknowledged his presence while the tension in her body slowly started to fade away from the thoughts that had been occupying her mind. By the time he said his first word Sakura's posture was a lot more relaxed, as if she had just bathed in the sun's warmth.
The blonde met her with a serenity only he could exude, and the same big smile that was his notorious trademark.
"Yo, Sakura-chan!" he greeted her back. "What are you doing here?" Naruto asked. He knew very well what the problem might be since he saw Sasuke and her departing a few moments before he and Sasuke did. He didn't have to guess why she was at unease.
But whereas with all the others he was the one who gave them a pep-talk in order to get them out of their comfort zone and come to certain realizations, he knew that with Sakura it ought to be different. He knew that all he had to do was to get her talking, because in the end she'd figure it out herself. She just needed a safe space to express her feelings and a shoulder to share the burden with.
And nothing made him happier than doing that for her. Because in the end, he didn't have to do anything extraordinary. Just be there for and with her. The rest? She could do it herself. Sakura was a big girl now. And ever since he knew her, she had the ability to make the best out of the situation she was in. Something he admired about her. Her chakra control training when they were genin was proof enough of that quality of hers.
It was only that, from time to time, like any other human being, she had the tendency to fall.
And nothing made him happier than being the one to catch her. Just being there for her, being her shoulder to cry on, to care and support her, like she had done in exchange. And for that he would be forever grateful to her, because back when they were genin, it was a form of acknowledgement he so much sought from the ones around him.
All that he ever wanted.
Even back in their academy days when she didn't even have him that close to heart, it was still Sakura who carried his wounded self, when he would stupidly rush into something head first, thinking second and got his ass handed to him.
He'd always remember those days fondly, like when he remembered everything they'd gone through together.
From disliking him to being able to call her his girlfriend in front of his father…
Oh, the fondness of that realization...
But its warmth didn't last long as he remembered the moment earlier between her and Sasuke. Plus, he had just asked her a question, sensing her heart's restlessness.
"Oh, I was just about to get back to town. It wasn't until long ago that I parted with Sasuke-kun," she responded to him in a lower tone, with a slight sense of mixed bittersweet feeling grabbing onto her being. It was then Naruto had it clear what was the cause of her fretting. Just as he had thought. But he put up a strong front for her. He wasn't going to let her get dragged down.
"What about yourself, Naruto?" Sakura asked before he could say what he had in mind. She had learned the tendency Naruto has to put up that strong front when it came to her. She had learned it just before this war started. And while she appreciated it, she didn't want him to carry any more burdens for her. It was a complex and complicated situation as it was already, so she didn't want to put him through any more of that. Especially on her behalf. It was time to be a big girl now…
Amazed and a bit shocked at how quickly she seemed to gather back her composure, Naruto answered her question.
"I, too, come from my departing words with Sasuke. He said he has to leave because he has some journeys to do until we'll settle things between us," he told her. "It's gonna take a while until he'll get back from the looks of it," Naruto added.
At that time, no matter how fast Sakura gained her composure, she was quick to stumble into a fretting state again. Since the subject of Sasuke and his indefinite absence was still a soft spot somewhere there, inside of her, somewhat unhealed.
"Hehe, I know. I even asked him in the spur of the moment what if I wanted to go with him, and he told me that I have nothing to do with his sins. He yet keeps me at distance," Sakura responded to Naruto's statement.
But as she talked to Naruto, she realized that it wasn't all that bad.
In a way, she felt relieved.
Yes, Sasuke didn't take her with him, but at least now he wasn't leaving to knock on darkness' doors once again, but on a different path.
It was a bittersweet ending to a years old state of affairs.
She remembered how it was when Sasuke first left, the reasons he did so. In comparison, now they had nothing to worry about, so she allowed a faint smile in the corner of her mouth to make its appearance.
After all, at least they were able to somewhat be together again as a team, even if apart.
Sakura looked towards Naruto and smiled fondly.
"You really made it possible for us to look forward to a day when we can all be together again and smile," she told him.
Naruto was taken aback "Ugh, I…" he mumbled with uncertainty while taking his well-known confused feelings position with a hand on the back of his head and smiling nervously. The one he had left, anyway.
"Thank you, Naruto…" Sakura added with a serenity in her tone and warmth in her eyes that somehow only when she was around him, she managed to express.
Those were the words that quickly drew him back into the lands of determination, as he was quick to assure Sakura once more.
"Don't worry, Sakura-chan! He's definitely going to come back home one of these days! And if he gets lost, I'm personally going to get that idiot back home to you so he can finally see what an amazing girl you are and how your feelings for him are so pure and strong! He is so lucky to have someone like you caring for him and rooting for him, Sakura-chan.
I don't think he understands how lucky he is! And, in return, how much you deserve to receive back for all that care you held for him until now!" Naruto stated with determination. Although it pained him on the inside at the realization of those words, he truly believed them.
And it didn't matter his feelings, as long as Sakura would be happy.
"Naruto…" Sakura called his name in a lowered soft voice, taken completely by surprise by his words. She didn't know what to say or how to respond to them. All that she knew was that once again, his words filled her spirit with hope, in a way no one had ever managed to do so.
She didn't even get the chance to fully feel the sensation his words gave her, because Naruto kept going.
"I'm sure that all he needs is a little time to come to terms with everything that has happened. Everything he feels, everything that he experienced up until now. After all, like we both talked about… we were children, starved of love. We didn't know better, neither me nor him.
But I'm positive that as soon as he finds his answers, he's going to come back to you, reciprocating the beautiful feelings you harbor for him, Sakura-chan!" he added while his words were accompanied by another one of his big trademark big smiles for her.
"After all, he is one lucky guy for being on the receiving end of your heart's desire, Sakura-chan!" Naruto continued like a stream of rivers giving life to the land itself.
Because to him, it truly felt that way. The one who had his Sakura-chan's heart must truly be a lucky man. To be loved by such a heart, gentle and fierce heart at the same time, could only be a blessing.
"I can only hope to be that lucky and someday I can meet a someone who will feel as strongly about me as you feel about Sasuke." Naruto finished while his big grin turned into a soft smile, looking down on Sakura with warmth in his eyes. And a little bit of pain.
He remembered what he had seen moments before his talk with Sasuke. Him poking her forehead must've definitely brought hope back to her heart. Plus, Naruto knew from times long forgotten, her reaction from back when he complimented her charming forehead. Sure, he wished it would've been still him to kiss it one day, but as long as Sakura was happy, Naruto was fine to give up that dream.
He was a man that hardly gave up something once he put his mind to it. But for Sakura's happiness, he would give up the world.
As she heard those words, Sakura tilted her head to the ground. She felt like she didn't deserve such praise from Naruto.
Especially after all those years she put him through hardship. How can he even think and speak those words, she wondered?
The same man that held such feelings for her for years, to speak such great words about her and Sasuke? How can he be like this? So positive, so kind, so warm? So selfless.
It was something about Naruto she had yet to understand herself.
Sure, Sasuke's memory wasn't gone from her heart, but Naruto? Naruto had a place in her heart she had yet to find an answer to. She didn't know where to put the things he made her feel. She didn't even know how to define them.
All she knew is that she was so grateful to him and his care and support, and that she desired what's best in this world for him.
"Naruto…," seemed to be all that Sakura could muster to say as she raised her gaze from the ground to meet his, filled with the warmth she was oh so accustomed to.
As she looked at him and hearing his words, she couldn't help but think about how he deserved the best. How he deserved the world. And something much better than her, anyway. That's what she thought, definitely.
It wasn't her who was going to make him happy after all the pain she caused him. In Sakura's opinion, Naruto deserved someone who didn't put him through the severest of pains, like she always seemed to foolishly do.
He didn't need someone as her, on the contrary. The person who would be better for him would be someone like...
"Uhm, by way Sakura-chan…" Naruto interrupted whatever was going through her mind at that moment, clearing his throat as he prepared to tell her something from the looks of it.
Her train of thought got stopped as soon as his voice made its presence felt, for a moment bringing her back from the blue of the skies of his gaze in which she seemed to lose herself.
"I want to apologize...' he quickly added.
"Huh, what for?" Sakura interrupted him for a brief moment, asking confusedly what he was talking about. What in the world he had to apologize for when he hardly ever did her wrong anyway? What was this apology he was talking about?
"Please, let me finish first," he asked her in a firm yet gentle tone.
She shut it instantly and focused all her attention on what he was preparing to say.
"I want to apologize to you for responding positively to my father's question. You know, that one where I called you my girlfriend" he continued visibly embarrassed a little, while his gaze turned sideways for a moment, as he uttered the word girlfriend.
He knew the implications of his positive response, but for a moment, in the heat of the war, he forgot where he was and carrying his mother's wish with him at all times, it was the closest he felt to a normal family ever since Jiraiya had died.
I mean, what more could he have wished for?
The girl of his dreams next to him, who for better or worse had after all confessed to him earlier before the start of the war. His dad in front of him. And while his mother wasn't present, Sakura was as close to his mother as he had ever met. She was that "someone like herself" Kushina had told him to find. And in all that mess, for a brief moment the rest of the world paused. He felt like he was in the perfect setting. One he had for so long dreamed of. His mother's wish fulfilled, his dad in front of him, while the girl of his dreams next to him. For that brief moment the reality of his world felt perfect.
So yes, he had told his father that Sakura was his girlfriend. But now, after all the heat of the moment had cooled off, and time to process everything was of plenty, he had to face reality. Things were a lot more complex than a simple yes to a question.
And, while yes, Sakura confessed to him, he now understood why she did it. She just wanted to shelter him from pain and danger. Like he, once had wished to do so for her. To shelter her beautiful smile from sadness and pain, to protect that smiling face, he would've done anything.
So, he truly understood where she'd been coming from. And while he appreciated her gesture, it was a different kind of love he yearned for from Sakura. But… it would be okay if he didn't get it. It had to be, because in the end all that mattered was for her to be happy, right?
However, with everything, given that confession and the reason behind it, still didn't give him the right to call Sakura his girlfriend.
If that were to ever happen, it would truly have to come from Sakura herself. But until then, he had an apology to offer. He owed her that much.
Sakura listened without interruption as Naruto continued.
"My reaction spurred from my wish to make sure I listen to my late mother's wishes before her passing," Naruto added.
'Late mother's wishes before passing?' Sakura's mind started wondering, as Naruto continued his apology. But what about his late mother's wishes? What was it about them that Naruto felt the need to connect her to them?
Plus, as far as she knew, Naruto was an orphan. What was that happened the time she had been away from him pre-war, that now he speaks of these things?
She couldn't help but ask him.
"Late mother's wishes? But what wishes are those, Naruto?" Sakura asked really curious and confused at the same time. She really wanted to know because she was trying to understand him like she has been trying for so long. Ever since he left Konoha, and later when he returned and she found out about his jinchuuriki status.
"Well, it's a more complicated story and uhm… maybe another time" Naruto was quick to deflect with a slight pained expression, despite his earlier bravado.
She could tell that for some reason he wasn't feeling comfortable with talking about this very subject so she didn't push it. Even she could see that, so she agreed with him and didn't try to push it any further. After all, they were coming after a war.
They would have a lot of time in the future to talk about these things. About the time they have been apart before the war. And about all that happened in-between then.
Thinking about it, Sakura realized how much catching-up they had to do. Which also reminded her that there was this one time before their separation where she too, had wronged him.
And since Naruto apologized for such a trivial thing, she had something more serious to apologize for.
"Naruto, listen-up!" Sakura added in exchange. "I thank you for your words earlier but… I too, have something to apologize for…" she continued while looking a bit sideways herself, remembering the deed she was about to make an apology for.
"I'm sorry for what I told you in the Land of Iron" Sakura said. "I am sorry for making it seem like I was making fun of you in such dire times. I only did it out of desperation, I guess.
I…" she paused for a bit remembering Sai's words about the burden she put on Naruto. Sakura closed her eyes a bit and took a deep breath.
"I only wanted to relieve you of the burden I put on you with that promise. Because you see, back then there was no one else I trusted more than you when I asked you to bring Sasuke-kun back," she added.
"I couldn't even trust Kakashi-sensei because it wasn't the first time when he told me things were going to be alright without them truly being." Sakura continued.
"But with you, with you it was different..." she said while she raised her gaze to meet his.
"I trusted you completely. And so, I put that burden on you, without thinking of how it would affect you. And for that I'm truly sorry." Sakura told him.
"Then out of desperation to fix that and lift that burden and make sure you're safe, yet again I wronged you. Without a second thought of how I was to execute such a move.
I guess I was just desperate to bring you back to Konoha with everything else that was happening… Sasuke-kun going rampant, you being the vessel of the nine tail and by extent a target, war at our doorstep…" Sakura continued as memories of all those moments once again made place in her mind's eye.
They weren't her proudest memories, but that wasn't the point of the discussion now. All she truly wanted was to let Naruto know how sorry she felt for making him go through all of that.
"Nevertheless, I was wrong for what I did, making you think I would make fun of you with my declaration and I apologize for it! I'm sorry. I'm truly… sorry!" she ended on a firm and concise tone.
Naruto couldn't help but feel a mix of feelings; bittersweet ones. But despite everything, he couldn't stay mad at her. He understood her and the place she was coming from. He would've done everything in his power to keep her safe, too. If only the place from where each other's feelings bloomed would come from the same place.
"Sakura-chan…" he was quick to add. "When you told me you loved me, for that brief moment I was the happiest man in the world," Naruto told her in a lowered voice, with a somewhat sentimental expression.
"It's not that I don't love you…!" Sakura found herself quick to respond as a flame that just exploded in a blaze. But then she stopped equally as fast as she snapped, realizing what she had just said and how that might have sounded. And the complexity of the situation. And the reason they were having this discussion to begin with. It didn't stop her cheeks from blushing, though...
"What I mean is… with what I did back then, I wanted to unburden you and let you know that you are truly loved!" she added fast.
"By the whole village" she continued. "By some, even more..." Sakura added, as flashes of a certain someone ran through her mind and the big things she did for Naruto.
It was now her time to smile in the same bittersweet fashion as she looked at Naruto with candid eyes.
"You already have a pure heart that feels strongly about you, Naruto…!" Sakura said with a conflicted certainty in her voice.
"Remember how she sacrificed for you when Pein attacked our village? Or when Neji died? How she was there for you, next to you? You just haven't been able to truly notice these big things she does for you" she told Naruto, as her gaze showed a pain in them, she didn't even realize she was having.
"Sakura-chan…" Naruto said, looking into her eyes trying to understand that look of hers.
But whatever these two had to tell to each had to wait, as Yamato interrupted their talk upon meeting with them at the gates.
"By comparison, I…" were the last words she said while lowering her head once more when Naruto's attention was taken away by Yamato's figure.
"Eeeh?!" he was quick to shout at the sight of the man. Sakura followed herself quickly after Naruto.
They hadn't realized the time that had passed them while they were talking. It had gone so fast, though.
"Yamato-taichou!" they both exclaimed in awe. They hadn't seen the man since a long while and reading the reports it got pretty worrisome. They were just happy to see him.
"How are you feeling?" Sakura turned and asked the man with Naruto now standing behind her once again.
"Well, not bad, not terrible. Coming from certain errands" he responded in his usual lackluster tone.
"Errands?" Naruto and Sakura both asked in unison. "What could those errands be?" Naruto continued with the questioning.
"Well, that's a top mission I am not allowed to divulge just like that. But enough about me. What are you two doing here?" Yamato quickly changed the subject.
They both start getting flustered as they try to mumble jumble at ways to properly explain their discussion from earlier.
"We were just uhm…" Sakura said, looking at Naruto's side.
"We were just parting ways with an old friend" Naruto quickly reacted. His skills to get out of uncomfortable situations were surely appreciated in moments like these. And if Naruto did it with a God such as Kaguya, he was sure to do it with Yamato.
"Yeah, plus we wanted to head to the Hokage office as the transitioning between Tsunade-sama and Kakashi-sensei still happens, although Kakashi-sensei has officially taken the seat since a week ago" Sakura was quick to add herself,
"Care to join us? Since after all, we're all kind of heading towards the same direction, right, Captain?" she asked. She put two plus two together. If he would be back from a mission then he would definitely have to file in a report. So, he would definitely go to the Hokage office.
Since she was a student of a Hokage, and now by extent Naruto was too, since Kakashi had taken the office, she thought this would be a perfect way out to change the subject and draw it to a more logistical approach than what the two's discussion entailed earlier.
Yamato agreed, and waved his hand at them, making it clear that as soon as they started walking, he'd be sure to join them.
Naruto and Sakura looked each other in the eyes for one last time, as they proceeded walking towards the entrance of Konoha alongside Yamato.
Their talk would have to be postponed. Plus, this day was an end to a period of their lives filled with lots of trials and tribulations.
What was in the past, would stay there. That time had ended.
But every end is a new beginning, so who knows what the future might hold in store?
All they'll have to do is each walk their own path and find out the answer that this new beginning holds…