Superman was taking a leisurely flight over his beloved hometown of Smallville, crime was at a minimum and the Man of Steel had decided to take a breather before the inevitable moment arrived when injustice reared its hideous mug once more. Superman's incredible hearing could pick up just about every sound from even several miles below but one that stuck out to him was the scream of a young boy.
Faster than a bolt of greased up lightning, the Man of Steel shot to the field from which the sound had come, "Is everyone alright down here?" he questioned, surveying the area for any sign of danger, only to find a young girl holding a football in the air next to a young boy with a round head and a yellow shirt in the process of picking himself off the ground, both of them awestruck at the man who'd just landed before them.
"Good grief, now you've done it Lucy, I hope you're satisfied with yourself." the boy said.
"Me? What did I do?!" Lucy demanded.
"I fell flat on my back one time too many and now I'm hallucinating!" the boy proclaimed.
"Oh stop being so dramatic Charlie Brown! Are you trying to make a fool of yourself in front of Superman?" the girl asked.
"I wouldn't even be seeing Superman if-" the boy's face perked up, "Wait, you see him too?" he asked, rubbing his eyes in disbelief.
Superman chuckled at the pair's banter, "I'm sorry, I'd heard a scream and assumed someone was in danger."
"But there is someone in danger." Lucy said.
"Oh?"
"Yeah, it's Charlie Brown."
"What? I'm not in any danger." the boy stated.
"Sure you are Charlie Brown, you're in danger of living a sad and lonely existence wrought with mediocrity." she explained with a smile that stretched from one ear to the other.
"Say now, that's not very polite." Superman scolded.
"I just call 'em how I see 'em, sir." Lucy stated.
The Man of Steel rolled his eyes, "What exactly are you kids up to anyway." Superman questioned.
"Oh boy, you're in for it now!" Charlie Brown warned, "See, it's like this Sir, Lucy's always talking me into letting her hold the football so I can kick it, and then every time without fail, she pulls it away, I fall flat on my back and nearly kill myself. So I'd be very grateful if you'll please arrest her and have her tossed into Alcatraz."
"Snitches get stitches, Charlie Brown." the girl warned, pounding her fist into her hand.
"I see," Superman humored, "And she does this every time?"
"That's right sir!" Charlie Brown affirmed.
"Then why do you insist on trying to kick it anyway?"
"I- uh… Well I-" the boy stuttered, a suitable answer never really coming to mind.
"Clearly because he finds my charms irresistible." Lucy answered for him.
"Clearly." Superman agreed.
"What?! NO, I-" Charlie Brown tried to argue.
"Well, as far as I know, there's no real law on the books against pulling a football away from someone trying to kick it, especially if the victim is a willing participant in the game." Superman explained, "But I've got an idea, how about letting me have a try at it, and if I can kick the ball faster than you can pull it away, you let Charlie Brown have one free kick with no tricks, deal?"
Lucy pondered the offer, "Alright, you've got yourself a deal Sir." she agreed, shaking the man of steel's hand.
"Wow, really? Thanks Superman!" Charlie Brown beamed, "You're never gonna win this one Lucy, Superman's faster than a speeding bullet, he'll kick that ball straight to the moon so fast you won't even see it!"
"We'll see about that." the girl said with a grin, "Ready when you are Superman!" she announced as she set up the ball.
Superman put a fair bit of distance between himself and Lucy before beginning his sprint, not full speed mind you, but certainly faster than most humans could ever hope to go. Rushing toward the girl, he'd closed the distance between them within a fraction of a second and felt the tip of his boot touch leather before it was pulled away at a seemingly inhuman speed, "AAUGH!" the Man of Steel screamed as his foot shot upwards, catapulting him into the air before falling flat on his back.
Lucy's face appeared in his vision as he stared into the sky, "Sorry Superman, looks like I was quicker to the draw on this one." she said with a smug grin, "Say, maybe I've had super powers this whole time!" she pondered.
"That explains your super-sized mouth." Charlie Brown noted.
"Do I gotta knock you on your super-sized head?" Lucy questioned with a raised fist.
"Alright, I'd better be going." Superman said, "Lucy, you play nice, and Charlie, you be careful with that football from now on."
"Yes sir." the two said in unison before Superman flew away.
"You know that's the second time in my life anyone's called me Charlie?" Charlie Brown pointed out.
"I know, it sounds wrong doesn't it?" Lucy agreed, "Good 'Ol Charlie Brown, that's the name for you, nothing more nothing less."
The boy grinned at the sentiment, "Thanks Lucy."
"On the other hand…" the girl continued, "Blockhead is always going to have a ring to it." she added, said blockhead's ego deflated at that. Good, he didn't need to grow any bigger of a head than the one nature bestowed him with, that's also why he didn't need to know she'd absolutely pound anyone into the dirt if she caught them calling Charlie Brown by that particular appellation, because he was a blockhead, but he was her blockhead.
XXX
"Aww, quit lying you two, you didn't meet Superman." Schroeder waved off.
"It's true! He came down from the sky and told Charlie Brown to quit being such a pansy and just learn to kick a football like a man." Lucy insisted.
"He did not!" Charlie Brown argued.
"I knew it." Linus said.
"No! I mean, he did come down from the sky and talk to us, but he was very polite." Charlie Brown corrected.
"A perfect gentleman." Lucy agreed.
"A true American." Charlie Brown added.
"He even picked up on Charlie Brown's enormous crush on me." Lucy noted.
"Yeah, and he- Wait, my what?" the boy questioned.
"You should've been there Schroeder, you could've heard it straight from Superman himself that you'd better hurry up and commit while you've still got a chance." Lucy noted with a smug grin.
Schroeder patted Charlie Brown on the back and shook his hand, "I'm a big enough man to admit when I'm beat, couldn't have happened to a nicer guy, I'll bring a sympathy card to the wedding." He said.
"Wedding? There's not going to be a wedding!" Charlie Brown argued.
"Well I'm certainly not going to stand around and let you live in sin with my sister!" Linus barked, cracking his knuckles.
"Live in si- We're eight!"
"And if Lucy's not an honest woman ten years from now, you're not living to see nine! Got it?!"
"Neither of them are honest women." Sally pointed out, "Just five seconds ago they were both lying about meeting Superman!"
"Hey, that's right!" Linus agreed before gripping Charlie Brown by the lapels and rolling his hand into a fist, "Corrupt my sister will ya?!"
"I really hate what this conversation's turned into." Charlie Brown noted.
"You?! I'm the one who's just been doomed to marry a wishy-washy wreck of a human being!" Lucy pointed out.
"Good Grief." the boy cursed.
XXX
Unfortunately but unsurprisingly, Superman's quest for peace would not come to an end on this day, and his brief respite from injustice wouldn't last long as it always had a knack for sniffing him out. Of all the days for a hostile alien invasion… Well, they could have hardly picked a prettier one. The Man of Steel found himself at odds with a fleet of unmanned alien drone ships being controlled from far up into the atmosphere, nothing he couldn't handle on his own but fighting off nasty bad guys was always the easy part, the real challenge of Superman's job came from minimizing damage and protecting any citizens unlucky enough to be caught in the crossfire.
Superman braced for impact before flying at an unfathomable speed directly through one of the invasion drones power source, disabling it as he pierced through the other side, not a problem for the likes of Superman. Now for the harder part, making sure the newly formed debris didn't hurt anyone, namely the two screaming children it was on a collision course with. Faster than the speed of sound, Superman flew ahead of the crashing ship, grabbing it as it hit him before using its momentum to spin it around a few times, changing its course toward the opposite direction and flinging it into space, bending a knee as he landed in front of the two kids, "Are you alright?" he asked them.
Linus and Sally nodded in affirmation, "Thank you sir." Linus said, gripping his light blue blanket.
Superman grinned, "Nice blanket, son." he complimented, "I never leave home without mine either." he said, waving his cape around, "Makes me feel safe."
Linus smiled wider than he ever had in his life at that thought, "What's your real name?" he asked, "I want to name my son after you."
"Kal-el." he answered, "Now get to cover so you can live long enough to have that son."
"Yes sir!" the boy agreed as Superman flew back to battle. Linus grabbed Sally's hand to run somewhere safe.
"Kal?" Sally questioned aloud.
"Must be short for Calvin." Linus figured.
Sally's face lit up, "I love that name! Calvin Van Pelt-Brown." she tested.
"We're not hyphenating! You're taking my last name or nothing!" Linus shouted, clamping a hand over his mouth as he realized what he'd just said.
"If you insist." the girl agreed with a smug grin.
XXX
Superman made quick work of the alien invasion, the battle having ended in their tactical retreat, their surprise attack had failed and the Justice League would be prepared for them should they ever return in greater numbers, but that was a problem for another day. The Man of Steel's primary focus for the moment was damage control.
The hero made it his mission to help clean up the mess after his more destructive battles, first ensuring that anyone in need of medical attention would be rushed instantly to the nearest hospital or first-aid station before helping clean up the rubble and debris left behind. After all, have you truly saved the day if you haven't done everything you in your power to help? Superman didn't think so.
Meanwhile, a number of civilians had emerged from their varying shelters to evaluate the damage themselves, and among these civilians were a familiar group of neighborhood kids led by Charlie Brown, "Good grief!" he swore, scanning the now demolished area, "This place is a mess!"
"Look on the bright side," Linus said, "It could've been a lot worse."
"WORSE?!" Lucy questioned, "How could this have been worse?!"
"You might not have lived long enough to complain about it." her brother pointed out.
"Well I did, AND I'VE GOT QUITE THE TIRADE TO THROW!" the girl shouted, not noticing that she'd wandered under some loose debris hanging from a roof.
"Lucy, shut up and move!" Charlie Brown yelled, grabbing her by the arm and wrenching her away from the refuse before it crashed down on the exact spot she was previously standing.
The girl clenched her free hand into a fist by pure reflex before glancing at the pile of mangled steel, concrete and other such construction materials stripped to their base forms, the pile must have weighed two-hundred pounds at least, she then looked back at her savior, "Charlie… You saved my life." she noted in disbelief.
The boy's eyes widened slightly, "You called me Charlie." he noted.
"D-did I?" she asked.
"Yeah." he affirmed, "Honestly, it kind of sounds right coming from you." he added with a smile.
The girl blushed and rolled her eyes, "Don't get all mushy on me now, blockhead."
"Lucy?"
"What?"
"You're holding my hand." he noted with a smirk.
She looked down with dread to find that Charlie Brown was indeed telling the truth.
Naturally, the sound of a little girl screaming in existential horror was enough to garner Superman's attention, the hero rushing to the scene in an instant. "Is everyone alright?" the man of steel asked with sincere urgency as he assessed the situation.
"We're fine Mr. Man." Sally assured.
"Just a few cuts and bruises." Linus added.
"But I heard a scream." Superman pointed out.
"I believe I can explain that very easily." Linus stated, "It would appear my sister is in the process of finally growing a heart."
"HOW'D YOU LIKE TO GROW A LUMP?!" Lucy threatened with a clenched fist.
"Children, CHILDREN! There's been enough destruction for one day, you all need to do me a favor, gather anyone else in the neighborhood and report to the nearest first-aid station." the Man of Steel instructed, "Now, there should be one right over-" Superman looked over to see a little black and white beagle with a medical bag and a red-cross army helmet treating wounded near his dog house. "I think I might be having a mental breakdown." he stated.
Lucy handed the Man of Steel her business card, "Gimme a call if you'd like a psychiatric evaluation."
XXX
It was another peaceful day in Smallville when Superman dropped by that little familiar neighborhood, repairs were made after the alien invasion, everyone's lives had returned to a state of relative normalcy, and the children appeared to be getting a little baseball practice in. Naturally, the Man of Steel decided to drop in and say hello, "SUPERMAN!" the kids all shouted in delight, dropping their bats and gloves to say hi to their friend.
"Hey there everyone, how have you all been?" he asked.
"Lousy!" Lucy complained, "The season's starting soon and our pitcher still throws like an arthritic geriatric!"
"Oh, I'm sure he's not that bad." Superman defended.
"I'm not much better though." Charlie Brown admitted.
Lucy punched the boy in the arm, "Don't agree with me! What'd I tell you about growing a spine?!"
The Man of Steel felt bad for good ol' Charlie Brown and concocted an idea, "All you need is a little more faith in yourself and I'll bet you could even strike me out!" he suggested.
"Wow, ya really think so, sir?" the boy asked.
"I'd bet my lucky penny on it." Superman assured before stepping up to the plate and picking up the bat, "Come on, hit me with your best shot!" he challenged.
"Me striking out Superman? That's impossible." Charlie Brown lamented to himself, "But Superman believes in me, and if Superman believes in me then I should at least believe in myself, right?"
"Let 'er rip, Charlie Brown!" Superman encouraged, fully intending to purposely strike out. The boy tossed out the best pitch he could muster, and try as he may with all his enhanced senses, the Man of Steel STILL couldn't miss that ball, as though it was magnetized to the bat, he hit it directly toward the boy on the pitcher's mound, knocking him backward right out of his socks.
"Good grief." he groaned.
Superman approached the boy who now laid on the ground, digging in his pocket and pulling out his lucky penny, "Something tells me you need this a lot more than I ever will." he said, handing it to Charlie Brown as he helped him up.
Charlie Brown sighed, "I'm gonna be a loser for the rest of my life." he lamented.
"Aww, don't talk like that. I still believe in you. You're a fine American Charlie Brown." he assured.
"Gee, thanks Superman." the boy said with a smile.
Suddenly, Superman heard a cry for help with his advanced hearing, "Sorry kids, trouble's brewing in metropolis, be on your best behavior and stay away from drugs, promise?"
"Of course!" they all agreed as he flew up into the sky.
Charlie Brown watched as the Man of Steel flew back to the big city, "I wonder if I could ever be as great a guy as him." he wondered aloud.
"That's a tall order, Charlie." Lucy noted before grabbing his hand, "But I'd say you're off to an alright start." she added with a grin.
"Gee, thanks Lucy." he said with a grin of his own.
"Even if you are kind of a blockhead." she concluded.
The boy's grin fell slightly, "Gee, thanks Lucy." he repeated before she kissed him on the cheek, and wouldn't ya know it, Charlie Brown finally managed to strike someone out in the very next inning.