17 IMPULSIVE URGES

'Bella.' Edward whispered, my name sounding like molten chocolate as it drizzled out of his soft delectable mouth, his pouty lips leaving their trace on my neck- sucking, licking, kissing and biting- a moan leaving my lips as I begged for more.

More.

I needed more.

'Edward.' I groaned out, him effortlessly pulling me into his lap, a hand on my ass that he firmly squeezed, my arms wrapping around his strong torso, my fingers entangled in his soft hair, a promise of a good time on both of our lips.

He moaned in pleasure, a sound that went directly to my core, my panties drenched as they demanded to be let out of the way, his lips coming forward to attach themselves to mine, hesitant at first, wanting to see my reaction.

I pulled him closer to me, nodding my head briefly, an unspoken permission granted.

I wanted this.

I wanted him!

He responded in kind; a new urgency now prevalent in his features, his hand resting on my face as he pressed against me, a finger trailing down my neck towards my erect nipple, pinching it harshly.

'Ah!' I let out a gasp, panting in his lap, tilting my head sideways as I sucked onto his lower lip, our faces moving in a rhythm of their own, teeth clashing as we pressed even closer to one another, my fingers firmly tangled in his hair, softly pulling onto his thick roots.

'Bella.'

My name was a prayer that left his mouth, his hands cupping my breasts, squeezing gently, a moan leaving my lips unrestrained, my nails pressed into his back, holding to him tightly, our eyes interlocked as our lips continued to meet midway.

First, gentle and asking for permission.

And then, needy and desperate, refusing to let go of the other, the grip on the other tight as we pressed even closer to one another, his tongue gently asking for permission, a permission that was easily granted, our eyes shut as we relished in the moment, our heads tilted and our fingers gently caressing the other.

'Oh.' I panted the word out, his lips now attached to my neck, sucking onto it, a hand on my ass as he squeezed it harshly, his other hand having disappeared under my t-shirt, a finger trailing up and down my cleavage, making me jump in his lap. 'We should have done this ages ago.' I moaned out, letting my hands rest on his manly chest, pinching his nipples, smiling as a firm groan left his lips.

He liked that!

'Oh. Edward!' I fiddled with the topmost button of his shirt, needing the disruptive material out of the way, his deep breath resounding in my ears.

He nodded his head, unbuttoning himself as he threw his shirt in one corner of the room, my nails trailing down his chiselled chest, leaving their Charlie as they circled his belly button, a loud moan escaping his lips, as his fingers began to unbutton my jeans, a hand playing with the soft taut skin on my stomach.

'Oh.' I moaned, my jeans falling to the ground, as his fingers inserted themselves in my cotton underwear, playing with my wet folds, my head leaning backwards as I shut my eyes in euphoria, his finger rubbing onto my drenched clitoris, making me jump in his lap.

'You like that?' he asked, pinching my clitoris, another loud moan escaping my lips, my eyes wide in bliss.

'Ye…yes.' I managed to mumble the word out, his fingers increasing their speed, tempting me as he continued to look into my eyes, seducing me with the intensity that lay in there.

'Oh, yes.' I moaned out, panting, so, so close! 'I like you.'

What?

Edward pushed me away from him, unaffected as I landed to the rough ground, staring at me in anger and disbelief, his eyes wide in horror.

'What the fuck was that, Bella?' He demanded to know, spitting the words out, anger and hatred having replaced every last trace of the Edward that had been making out with me, showering attention on me as he softly- gently caressed my arousal.

'I…' I ran a hand through my hair, shutting my eyes tight, wincing. 'I hadn't meant to blabber that out in this manner. But yes, it is true. I like you.'

I don't know the how and when, but indeed I had started to like Edward.

He was smart. He was caring.

He took care of me.

He understood me.

I wanted him in my life.

I needed him in my life.

'I know it is unexpected and not the preferred start, but we can still make this work? I will leave the country with you. We already know one another so well….it will be perfect….'

'Get out.'

'What?'

'Just. Fucking. Leave.' He spat in my direction, bowing down to pick up his crumbled shirt, buttoning himself as he refused to spare me a glance.

'Oh.' I whispered in dejection, looking at the floor in keen interest. 'Um…I will be waiting downstairs…'

'I don't care.' He waved a hand in air, dismissing me.

I controlled the tears, refusing to let them fall, nodding my head in agreement as I quickly buttoned my jeans and straightened my t-shirt, running a hand through my tangled hair, before making my way towards the room door, every step taken a painful task.

He did not like me.

He did not feel the same for me.

He did not care about me!

He did not want me!

I controlled myself till I possibly could, the small reception laying witness to my breakdown, as I fell to my knees and let the tears of rejection freely flow, my head in my hands unable to face the world.

He had rejected me.

He wanted nothing to do with me.

I… I liked a monster.

And even he did not want me!

What was wrong with me?

'Miss,' a gentle voice grabbed my attention, my blurry eyes meeting those of an elderly man, possibly in his late sixties, thick glasses rimming his grey, worried eyes. 'Are you alright?' He offered me a tissue; his hand outstretched as he waited for me to take it from him. 'I was sitting right there and I saw you… Is there any way in which I can help you?'

I shook my head, his concern touching. But there was nothing he could do to help me.

Unless he could somehow convince Edward that he liked me too….

'Oh.' He offered me a sad smile, accepting my reluctance to talk. 'I hope whatever your problem is gets resolved quickly.'

He then began to walk away from me, back to where he had been sitting, a spare thought making its way in my mind, refusing to leave without being acted upon.

'Actually,' I called out after him, dry sobbing, him turning slightly to look at me. 'There is something you can do to help me out.'

'Ali,' I whispered the word into the phone, the kind stranger having moved away from me to give me the brief illusion of privacy. He could still hear me; I was aware of that. Yet, it was a good gesture on his part. 'Bella here.' I hesitantly continued. I had not spoken to Alice in so long…. how would she even react to hearing from me?

Would it still be the same between us?

'Oh my God, Bella!' she screamed into the phone. 'Is that really you? Wait. Let me intimate the cops….'

'No!' I shouted out, my eyebrows reaching my hairline, a gasp leaving my lips. 'You will not do anything of that sort. You get that?'

She could not inform the cops; they would come looking for us.

They would then arrest….

No.

I could not let that happen!

'Bella?' Ali's voice was a confused whisper. 'Are you alright? Where are you? I am coming for you.'

'No.' I took another deep breath in. 'You don't need to do that. I am fine. I can't tell you where I am, but I am fine. You don't need to inform the cops. They can't help. I don't want them to help.'

'Bella, you are scaring me….'

'Alice.' I cut her off, sighing heavily. 'Just trust me, okay? No cops!'

I could not let her alert the police about my whereabouts; they would take Edward away from me!

'Okay,' she hesitantly agreed. 'I will not tell the cops anything. But Bella, you have to understand, everyone's going crazy out here with worry. Where the hell are you? Have you escaped your captor? Is he still out searching for you? I can come get you. Stay where you are! We will not let him get to you!'

'No.' I ran a hand over my forehead, gasping for breath.

She would take Edward away from me.

They were all plotting to separate the two of us!

I could not let that happen.

'I am fine. I am on my way home. You… you don't need to come searching for me. No one needs to come searching for me.'

'But Bella…' I ended the call, not wanting to hear her say anything more.

I had to keep us safe.

She would not understand.

No one would!

'Here.' I offered the stranger back his phone, forcing a fake smile onto my face. 'Thank you.'

'It was my pleasure.' He waved me off. 'But you sure you are alright?'

'Yes.' I nodded my head in agreement. Everything was perfect. I just had to convince Edward that he liked me, too.

He just could not see it.

Yet.

'Okay then.' The elderly man offered me one last faltering smile, my attention diverted as Edward came storming towards the reception, a wide frown on his face, his shirt haphazardly buttoned and his hair an uncombed mess.

'Let's go.' He ordered, not even bothering to stop and talk to me for a spare second. Just passing by like the blowing, uncaring wind.

'I…' I began to speak, a wave of the hand telling me to shut up.

He did not want my opinion.

He could not care any less about it.

I let out a sigh, wiping the stray tears from under my eyes, my eyes trained to the floor as I followed him out, sitting beside him in the truck, nothing but silence remaining between the two of us.

'I don't want any nonsense.' Edward warned, refusing to even look in my direction. 'We have hardly a few hours left together. That's it! Then you go your way and I go my way.'

I nodded my head.

Not that he was waiting for my agreement.

I shut my eyes tight, leaning against the window, never having felt this inferior in my life.

He treated me like the dirt under his shoe…and yet I wanted him?

Why?

How could I still want him?

How could I still feel safe in his company?

I needed help.

Maybe Ali was correct…

Maybe I should have agreed to her coming to get me…

No.

I could not get Edward arrested.

He was the only one I could trust now.

I could not lose him!

.

.

.

The next few hours passed by in absolute silence, the only breaks taken being to use the washroom or to grab a quick bite, nothing more than that occasional word spoken between the two of us.

He had nothing to tell me. And what I wanted to hear was the last thing on his mind.

It surely was an unfortunate place to be in!

'Here.' Edward finally parked the truck, the mall that I had been kidnapped from now lying a witness to our conversation. 'This is it. Get out.'

'Edward,' I hesitantly spoke up. 'Please don't do this. I know you like me. Let me come with you. I will agree to everything you say….'

'Bella,' his tone was sympathetic, a sigh leaving his lips as his eyes came to meet mine, soft and genuinely caring for once. 'You deserve so much more, princess! Go back to your life. Forget all about me. I am not worth it. We are the two ends of the same ocean; we can never meet midway. You need to find someone on your side of the land.'

'But.' I went to argue, shaking my head in protest, the door being roughly pulled opened, this being the end.

I accepted it, wordlessly exiting the cab.

Edward did not want me. And there was nothing I could do to convince him otherwise.

Maybe…it was for the good….

I stood there, outside that same mall I had visited mere weeks ago, everything the same yet nothing was the same.

My life had been altered forever.

It would never be the same again.

I stood there, watching Edward drive the truck away, tears freely flowing down my eyes.

It was time to get back to my reality.

It was time to become Isabella Marie Swan again.

And… I couldn't have been any more terrified to be someone I no longer felt like.