This JJK brainrot has had a chokehold on me all year. I'm finding it very hard to focus on any other projects right now, so might as well feed the beast. For as much as I'm a Gojo simp, I'm finding it much harder to write him compared to Geto. Shit, Geto has me by the throat; at this point he's just writing himself lmao.
This was originally supposed to be only three parts, but it's already expanded to 5, haha. Well, maybe 4. I'm still debating on including the ending I have in mind. We'll see, we'll see. Let me know if you guys would prefer it ended on a more happy note, or want to keep in theme of the JJK heartache lmao.
The title and lyrics included at the start of every part is from the song "Take Me Back to Eden" by Sleep Token. If you haven't heard it yet, I greatly recommend it. One of my top favorite songs, probably for the rest of my life. T_T
xXx
I dream in phosphorescence
Bleed through spaces
See you drifting past the fog
But no one told you where to go
We dive through crystal waters, perfect oceans
But no one told me not to breathe
And now the weightlessness recedes
xXx
Blood spattered across the ground at your feet, the crimson a sharp contrast across the white of the sidewalk.
Your arm flings up to your midsection, hand cradling your opened belly to stifle the bleeding before your brain can even register the pain.
When it finally does hit, your vision blackens for a mere second and you suddenly find yourself on one knee as you gasp for air.
"Shit!"
"Y/n!"
Two different voices trickle through your ears but you can't focus on much beyond the thunderous pounding in your head as your body continues to try and supply blood throughout, even as much of the liquid incessantly flows between your fingers and pours onto the pavement instead.
There's a dark shape in front of you now, and you flinch back on instinct, thinking the curse that managed such a devastating blow has come to finish you off.
Instead, your gaze meets the widened eyes of your classmate and close friend Suguru Geto.
There's a panic in his amber eyes that you never would have believed could exist within this man if you were not witnessing it at that very moment. He's fallen to his knees to be eye level with you, his strong hands clasping your shoulders to keep you upright as his gaze sweeps over your form to try and assess the damage. But they stop their movement to stare at the ground beneath you; his own reflection stares back at him atop the pool of blood that has accumulated there. It's far too much. His rapid breathes are the only movement you can perceive now as spots dance across your vision, even as you can hear the impact sounds of heavy combat coming from Satoru and the curse not too far from where you are knelt.
"Suguru! Talk to me!"
The demand in Gojo's voice is underlaid with uncertainty.
Suguru swallows as he thinks; you watch his throat bob, transfixed by the movement, as your breathing begins to shallow and you find yourself struggling to hang onto consciousness. You're certain that if Suguru were not still holding you upright, you would be laid out face first by now.
Your vision spins with a wave of vertigo, and you find yourself in Suguru's arms, cradled hard against his chest.
"She won't make it if I don't find Shoko right now!" His shout seems eerily far away considering how close his mouth is to your ear, but you find comfort in the rumbling waves of his voice vibrating through his chest as your face buries into the collar of his school uniform.
"Then go!" You hear Gojo's response as if from underwater. "I can handle this alone!"
Geto doesn't need to be told twice- he takes off down the street. Wind whips past your face as his long strides jostle you enough that your arm drops from your stomach.
"Keep pressure on the wound!" Suguru urges. You briefly consider blowing him off- after all, you don't even really feel it anymore. Everything just feels far away and muted. But when you look up to meet his eyes, you feel a tinge of guilt at the worry and barely concealed panic pinching his normally soft features. You raise your hand back up to the gash in your stomach without protest.
If only to appease him.
You're vaguely aware that you must be dying, but only one thought passes through your mind before you succumb to darkness.
'Mmm… he smells so nice…'
xXx
For such an egregious wound, Shoko has you back in top form quicker than you would have expected. You were on death's door not even a few hours ago, and now you're walking back to your dorm room with your typical saunter, Suguru falling into step just beside you.
You catch him shooting you surreptitious glances from your periphery every so often, as if he still expects you to collapse any minute. But you keep your head high and gaze straight ahead, trying to exude nonchalance and confidence to ease his lingering worry.
How embarrassing.
You may not have been on the same level as your two male classmates, but you did not consider yourself to be too far off. You had wanted to prove you could hold your own against that special grade curse, just as they could.
But you had gotten too confident and underestimated it- and would most certainly be dead now if not for Satoru holding off the curse and Suguru's quick delivery to Shoko.
At least Suguru seemed to be too concerned with your recovery to rub your nose in your failure.
But you knew you would not be so lucky when Satoru finally showed up.
"Well!" You clasp your hands as you twirl on the spot just before your door to face Suguru. "Thanks for the lovely evening, I had fun- looking forward to doing this again sometime!" Your laugh is more self-depreciating than anything as you turn to open your door, hoping to make a quick escape from the deep embarrassment of your failure in front of two of the strongest sorcerers of your generation.
A large hand at your elbow stops you from entering, however.
You half turn so you can see Suguru in your periphery to save you from fully facing him.
"You shouldn't be so flippant about this." His deep voice carries a reprimand that causes you to flinch in distaste. "You could have died tonight." He finishes, his tone solemn.
"Yeah well, that is a risk of the job, isn't it?" You try to laugh it off, but his grip on your elbow tightens.
Your eyes dart from his long, slender fingers curled around you up to his eyes. He takes a step forward when he sees he finally has your full attention. The action has him more in your space than you're used to; the sudden movement causing his scent to waft over you.
Your mind flashes back to when he was holding you in his arms, that scent surrounding you. You might have been dying, but in that moment you had never felt more safe.
The realization has you swallowing in an attempt to bury the giddy nervousness that has suddenly creeped up your spine.
"I need you to take this more seriously." Suguru continues, completely oblivious to the goosebumps that have begun to crawl up your arm from where he's touching you.
"I am." You insist, your voice soft. "I just… haven't had the time to fully process everything yet, you know?"
He nods slowly in response, but you catch a tick in his jaw and his eyes are distant. You have a feeling there's more he wants to say, but you can't stand to see him so worried.
"I'm okay." You reassure, bringing your hand up to cover the one he has wrapped around your elbow. "Really. I'm going to be ok. This is just a sign that I need to train a little harder, you know? Just a little bit of character development, am I right?" Your light teasing brings his focus back on you, at the very least, before his eyes drop to your hand covering his.
"Yeah…" His tone is absentminded, and you see something flicker in his eyes. Tilting your head in unspoken curiosity, you're about to ask if he's good when he lifts his head. His eyes have darkened, deep honey simmering with heat, and your words escape you even as you scramble to retrieve them.
You feel a shiver travel up your spine and settle at the base of your neck, and the smallest puff of breath from Suguru ignites it into an explosion of goosebumps across your shoulders and down your chest. You watch as his dark eyes follow the ripple of excited skin before snapping back up to your face.
A knowing confidence has settled within those dark depths, and he takes a moment to eye your slightly parted mouth before slowly dragging his gaze back up to your eyes.
There's a predatory glint in his expression that has heat pooling into your lower stomach. The subtleness of it across his soft features is a juxtaposition that has you biting your lip nervously.
Suguru has always been the voice of reason, the sturdy pillar of strength from which both you and Satoru draw from. He was the kind one, the thoughtful one, the first one to give someone the benefit of the doubt. But beneath his deceptively placid waters, you knew there lurked a bigger, darker beast. You would catch glimpses of it when he fought curses.
Gojo's beast was loud- it roared in the face of opposition, baiting its' prey and laughing with glee as it decimated that which stood against it.
But Suguru's beast was silent- nothing more than the trace of a shadow under the water that very well could just be a trick of the light. Until it's suddenly upon you. Until it's dragging you beneath the surface and into inescapable depths.
That beast had you in its sights; you could see it slinking to the surface, appearing more and more hungry as it ascended.
'Dangerous.'
This man was dangerous. And you found that thought did nothing but excite you.
'I guess all jujutsu sorcerers need to be a little crazy to make it…'
Suguru looks past you to your slightly ajar door, his posture straightening, building upon his height and making you feel small in the most delicious way.
"Maybe it's best you weren't alone just yet." His eyes slide from your door back to you, one delicate eyebrow raised slightly with unspoken suggestion.
You lick your lips, finding your mouth much too dry. His eyes follow the movement.
"Yeah…" Your voice is breathy, can barely even be heard. You clear your throat, trying to exude the same confidence as the man before you. "Yeah." You say again, voice strong and steady. "Come on in." You throw the door open and walk in, Suguru's hand dropping from your arm in the process. Your hand shadows to rest where his was at your elbow, finding the skin there much too cold all of a sudden.
He has to duck slightly to enter- both his and Satoru's height were asking too much of this building's humble doorways. The loud click of the door behind him echoes in the quiet room- a strange finality that you cannot quite dissect just yet.
You're in a state of suspended animation- part of you wants to lunge at him and pin him against the now closed door.
But the other part of you- the perhaps less sane part- likes his predatory gaze. It wants to be forced into submission. It wants to be devoured.
You stand steady in your position, throwing out a nonplussed attitude as you say, "So did you want some tea, or…?"
His lips curve into the most subtle smirk- he's unconvinced of your act. And to prove it, he stalks toward you. His smooth strides are that of a leopard slinking through the shadows.
"Hm…" His hum vibrates the air between you as he pretends to think it over, stopping just before you. His breath just barely brushes against the baby hairs atop your head. "I think I'm craving something with a little more…" Dark eyes sweep over your form appraisingly before pinning your gaze with his own. "…body."
Your heart jumps at the verbal admission. You try to stifle the subtle heaving of your chest as you struggle to draw breath under the oppressive weight of his rapt attention. He notices, of course, and you watch his eyes narrow knowingly, alight with masculine pride at the effect he's clearly having on you.
Your tongue darts out to moisten your, once more, dry lips. You see something within him snap at the small movement this time. His brows furrow as he reaches to cradle your face in both hands, before he pulls you to him in a heated meeting of mouths. Stunned, your eyes flutter closed as you eagerly reciprocate the steady movements of his tongue against your own. He begins to step forward, forcing you back with a slow certitude. Your hands find purchase in the front of his uniform as your back collides with the wall at the foot of your modest twin bed.
Your breath leaves you at the unexpected contact, and he uses the distraction to lift your face higher as he dips to lavish your exposed throat with soft, hot openmouthed kisses.
A wonton moan escapes the depths of your lungs- you can't stop it.
"Huh, was that for me?" He breathes the question along your collarbone. His eyes meet yours, and the impish spark within them indicate it was a rhetorical question.
He already knows the answer.
The warmth of his large hand splayed on your right hip and making its way down distracts you from forming any kind of snarky retort to try and regain some ground.
Your breath hitches when his hand glides under your thigh to hook it around his waist as he presses himself hard against you.
Your head falls back against the wall in easy surrender. He resumes his soft assault against your throat and the heady sensation has your eyes rolling into the back of your head when combined with the heat of his hips pinning yours. You can feel his arousal through the soft fabric of his pants as it presses against your needy apex.
"Mmm…" You hum appreciatively, rocking your hips into his with a gentle roll.
Suguru's sharp hiss against your dampened neck sends electric chills down your spine that shoot straight to your core.
It appears he was not the only one having an effect.
Emboldened by his response to you, you roll your hips again, deeper this time.
Suguru's soft curse against your neck has you grinning as you reach up to snake your fingers into his hair. You go to dismantle his bun- you want to see him untethered. You want to know what he'll look like completely unkept. But as you hook your finger into the hairtie, something within Suguru reconnects into place.
He drops your leg and untangles himself from you before putting a good three paces between you both.
'No. No no no no….'
You are too cold from the sudden absence of his body and your mind scrambles to find a way to bring him back to you.
But one look at his expression and you know any attempt on your end will fail.
He looks at you blankly, with perhaps the smallest hint of pity in the slight furrow of his brow.
Pity for you? For himself?
"I apologize." He states. "I shouldn't have done that. I'm not sure what came over me."
But he does know. You both know. He's attracted to you. And you're attracted to him.
'So what's the problem here?'
You want to shout at him for being so stubbornly proper.
"I'm not complaining…" You bait coquettishly.
He levels you with a flat look.
"You almost died not even a few hours ago. Your emotions are running high. Both of ours are. And I should not have tried to take advantage of that."
'Exactly.' You can't help but think to yourself in exasperation.
You could have died. Died without ever knowing the taste of his lips. Died without ever feeling the shape of his body against yours. What a waste of a life that would have been.
And you'd be damned if tomorrow you died without ever knowing what he felt like inside of you.
You step forward to bridge the gap between the two of you- to make him understand. But his next words stop you in your tracks.
"And what about Satoru?" He asks, watching your expression closely.
'What about Satoru?' Your mind echoes distantly.
If you tried to claim you were not also attracted to Satoru, the blatant lie would mark you for hell on the spot. But realistically, who on this entire planet could resist that man's charms? You were only human. And though the two of you openly flirted incessantly, it didn't mean there was a real, tangible chance that something could come of it.
But something could come of this. Of the man standing before you now.
Suguru continues on blithely, unaware of your internal decision.
"If you don't think this would hurt him, you haven't been paying very good attention."
'…what?'
"And it would likely alter our dynamic; erode our team from the foundation."
The look he's giving you communicates that he's confident in his words- he fully believes their validity. But… it's almost like he's hoping you can prove him wrong. Show him a perspective he has yet to discover on his own.
Your heart drops when you are unable to.
"It would change everything." He continues, his voice soft. And then- "Is that what you want?"
The sliver of hope you detect in the question almost breaks you. Is it an admittance that he's willing to weather that change, if you are?
But… are you? Could you do that?
Could you shatter the current dynamic, and leave Satoru in the self-imposed isolation that would likely be the fall out? Right when he seemed to be flourishing among friends that he felt a true connection with? Right when he was finally learning what it meant to be human and not just fated to be the strongest?
"…no." The confession is barely a whisper past your lips, but Suguru hears it.
You look up with hesitance, dreading his reaction.
But his expression has softened with acceptance and understanding.
"I don't want that, either."
His admittance is meant to be a reassurance, but there's an empty, despondent pit forming in your chest. It aches of disappointment. Maybe a sliver of heartbreak.
Here you were, so close to two of the strongest, most desirable men on the planet, and realistically you could not have either one of them. Not in the way you most desired. Not if you wanted to keep them both in your life.
How utterly and excruciatingly unfair.
Shoulders slumped with defeat, your distant stare does not lift from the floor when Suguru speaks next.
"You should get some rest."
You nod absentmindedly.
He doesn't move for a moment as he watches you, tempting you to lift your gaze. But before you can, you register the soft movement of fabric. The ghostly groan of rusty hinges. The soft 'click' as the door shuts behind him. The muted footfalls down the long hallway, growing more faint with distance.
A breath that you hadn't realized you'd been holding escapes your lungs, and you collapse onto your small bed in a heap of limbs. Snatching your pillow from the corner, you cradle it in your arms, against your chest, as you curl into a fetal position.
Despite the emptiness in your chest, you can still feel the steady pulsations coming from your most intimate place.
You groan into the pillow, frustrated at the push and pull between your body and heart.
Laying there, consumed with aggravation of being so turned on yet left utterly unsatiated, your only true solace is that you're fairly certain you made the right decision.
'So unfair.'
xXx
And there we have it, the first installment! Just a little bit of a teaser for what's to come. ;)
Anyways, hope you enjoyed, and please let me know any feedback you may have! Also- I'm terrible at tags, so if you see any you think I should add, I'd be grateful for that input as well! ^_^