Family Dispute
"Are you ready to go, Josh?" Jason asked.
"I guess so, Jason. Are you sure we should do this?" Joshua questioned.
"Josh, we discussed this for several days. I thought we agreed that we are going to do this and do it now while Jeremy is in Tacoma for two weeks." Jason answered.
"Yes, we did, but that's the problem. We are doing this behind Jeremy's back." Joshua said sheepishly. "Obviously, Jeremy didn't want us to know what really happened."
"Yes, Joshua, I realize that, and I don't like it any better than you do, but we can't let Todd get away with treating Jeremy like dirt and trying to kill him." Jason looked angry.
"If we go through with it, we will have a secret, no a lie between us and Jeremy for the rest of our lives. Can we live with that, Jason?" Joshua asked.
"Certainly, I don't like the idea of us having a secret or a lie as Jeremy would call it and yes, I know he would be right. But I also don't like the thought of that Sargent getting off scott free for what he did. You know, Josh, it's a miracle he didn't kill Jeremy or let that bear do it." Jason said somberly.
"It makes me furious, Jason, to think how that crazy old man treated our brother. And I have thought lots of times, what if? When we went back to that spot and found the leg irons that Jeremy threw in the woods, I could have pulled a pine tree up by the roots, I was so angry." Joshua shook his head as he remembered that day.
"And now, Josh?" Jason was concerned.
"Now, older brother, I'm worried that Jeremy will be more upset with us than he was with Sgt. Todd." Joshua looked Jason in the eye.
"We won't tell him. Jeremy will never know." Jason said simply.
"Jason!" Joshua was exasperated. "Have you met Jeremy?"
"I know what you mean, Joshua. Jeremy will know the minute he walks in the cabin when he gets home. But I can't let that jackass get by with what he did. He traumatized our brother. I'm going. I'll explain it to Jeremy so he can understand why I did it." Jason said.
Joshua shook his head.
"Well, what am I supposed to do? Just say thank you very much for making sport of my brother and then deciding not to kill him. I mean what was to stop him from killing that bear and Jeremy! Think about it, Josh. What if we had found Jeremy dead just a few feet away from Lucifer? It is a wonder things didn't turn out that way." Jason argued.
Joshua clenched his jaw. "You're right, Jason. Let's go."
The two brothers left on their way to Fort James. That day they traveled halfway to their destination.
Late that night, they sat by the campfire. As they drank their coffee, they were quiet.
Suddenly, they heard a noise coming from the road. They grabbed their shotguns as they stood up.
"Identify yourself!" Jason shouted.
"Jeremy Bolt! Your angry brother!" He yelled.
"Oh boy! Here we go!" Joshua said.
Jeremy rode into view on his horse. "Just as I figured. As soon as my back was turned, my brothers take off after Sgt. Todd. I can't believe you two. Why didn't you tell me you found out what happened?"
Jason was stunned. "Why didn't we tell you!? Why didn't you tell us? And why, pray tell, baby brother, did you let the town make that jackass an honorary citizen after he tried to kill you?!"
"The town did that, I didn't. Have you ever tried to tell Lottie not to do something? As far as not telling you and Joshua, I was trying to avoid what's happening now and what the two of you have planned for tomorrow. That's why I didn't tell you, Jason!" Jeremy had angry tears in his eyes.
"How did you find out that we know the truth, Jeremy?" Joshua asked.
Jeremy dismounted his horse. "I found the leg irons in Lottie's storeroom last week."
"Last week! Why didn't you say something last week?" Jason asked. "Oh, I know. You wanted to be sneaky and catch us out here!"
"Well, why didn't one of you tell me that you found the leg irons instead of hiding them at Lottie's and going behind my back to Do This!" The more Jeremy talked the louder and the faster he asked that question.
"Listen, brothers. You're not getting anywhere asking each other why back and forth. Jeremy, we didn't tell you because we knew you would react like this. We searched the woods where we found you and Todd because we knew something wasn't right. You said you and the Sargent were hunting. You didn't have a gun. Your shirt was torn to shreds but you didn't have any claw marks. You have been nervous and having nightmares. When we found the leg irons, we put it all together." Joshua explained.
"So, you just couldn't take me at my word? That hurts me a lot, brothers." Jeremy said sadly.
"We didn't mean to hurt you, Jeremy. We were going to stand up for you even at this late date." Jason replied. "What can we do to help you? We are concerned about you. You haven't been yourself since the confrontation with Todd. You must have been frightened knowing he was trying to kill you."
"Yes, Jason. I was scared. At one point, I decided that he was going to let me run until I couldn't go another step and then he would shoot me. Then I thought Todd would shoot me in the back any second. He was always just two minutes behind me." Jeremy answered.
"I don't know how you survived Jeremy. I would have been so angry at that crazy old man; I would have been shot in five minutes." Josh said.
"Yeah, I was angry too, Josh. I think that's the only way I did survive was by being too mad to give up." Jeremy began shivering.
"I know you don't want us to go after the Sargent, Jeremy. So, please tell us something specific that Joshua and I can do to help you. Just tell us and we will do it for you." Jason put his arm around Jeremy.
"First, give up this notion of getting even with Sgt. Todd. Please let it go for good. Next, just love me. I need my brothers now more than I ever have. I'm not okay and I might never be okay again." Jeremy tried to hold back his tears. He failed.
Jason and Joshua held Jeremy between them. "Let it out, brother. Just let it out." Joshua told him.
Jeremy's sobs turned into screams. "I should have killed him! Why am I so stupid? I let him treat me like an animal then I feel sorry for him because he's old and crippled!"
"Try to calm down, Jeremy. You're not stupid. You are a kind soul. You try to see some good in everyone no matter how mean they are." Josh said.
"Josh, I think that's the definition of stupid. Trying to see good in mean people." Jeremy replied as he calmed down.
"Jeremy, you are not stupid. You might be a little too kind sometimes, but that's because you trust people." Jason counseled.
"Right, like I trusted that old man. There I was talking my head off trying to help him and scraping out my supper plate. The next thing I knew he was pointing his shotgun in my face saying he was going to kill me when the sun came up." Jeremy took a sip of coffee. "The next thing he did was to handcuff me to the wheel of the buckboard. I spent the night like that. It was a long frightening night. For all I knew, was going to kill me at dawn sitting there attached to the wagon wheel."
He stopped talking to take a breath. Jeremy didn't speak again for a few minutes.
Jason spoke up."Jeremy, you don't have to talk about it anymore tonight if you don't want too."
"No,Jason, I want to. That night was horrible. It kept running through my mind that I was going to die the next morning. I kept thinking about never seeing Candy or either of you again. I imagined both of you finding my body."
Jason gasped and coughed when Jeremy mentioned finding his body.
"Dear God, Jeremy! It hurts me to even think of you spending a night having to ponder thoughts like that." Josh said.
"I still have nightmares about that night and about running from the Sargent. Sometimes my bad dream gets mixed up and I'm running from that crazy man at night." Jeremy admitted.
"When was the last time you ate something, Jeremy? You seem to be thinner than usual and that's not good." Jason expressed concern.
"I ate a few bites of bacon this morning. I don't have much appetite, but Dr. Wright is helping me with that." Jeremy spoke nervously.
His brothers exchanged worried looks.
"Why do you need help with your appetite? Are you sick?" Josh questioned.
"I'm not exactly sick, Josh. It's another kind of a problem." Jeremy looked at his siblings.
"What is your problem, Jeremy?" Jason was frightened.
"I have been seeing Dr. Wright for the past few months since the situation with Todd. She prescribed Laudanum for me. I went to talk to her because I had gotten where I couldn't sleep because I was so afraid of having those nightmares. The medication helped me sleep without the nightmares and it made me feel happy according to Dr. Wright. I thought I was just feeling better until she said it was the medication. After awhile, it got to where I thought I needed more and more of the medicine. The doctor said I was taking too much because my prescription wasn't lasting long enough." Jeremy explained.
Jeremy stood up and stretched. His muscles ached. He walked a few steps away from the campfire. Then he turned around and walked back to his seat and sat down.
"There is something you aren't telling us, brother." Josh said.
"You're right, Josh. The doctor is working closely with me because she has known patients who accidentally took too much Laudanum and died." He replied.
Jason got paced back and forth for a few minutes. "Jeremy, you have to stop taking that medication immediately. Just don't take it at all."
"I tried that and I got sick with nausea and vomiting. I couldn't sleep for several nights and when I finally slept, I had those nightmares about Todd again. When I told Dr. Wright that I tried to just stop all at once, she advised against it. She said it's better to taper off." The youngest brother told them.
"Well, if that's what she says is the best thing to do, then that's it. She is a good doctor." Josh stated.
The other two Bolts agreed with Josh.
"I need to tell you something else. Both of you will be angry at me. I'm angry at myself." Jeremy looked at the campfire.
"Go ahead, Jeremy. Whatever it is, we will help you." Jason thought he knew where this was going. He said a silent prayer that he was wrong.
Jeremy drew a deep breath. He got up from his seat and turned to face his brothers.
"I didn't go to Tacoma today. I didn't even have a trip to Tacoma planned. Earlier tonight, I was angry with each of you for going behind my back, when all the time, I had gone behind your backs." Jeremy put his hands on his hips. He looked up at the sky and swallowed hard.
Jason and Joshua glanced at each other with fear in their eyes. They got up from their seats. Jeremy looked at them. Tears welled up in his eyes.
The two older brothers flanked the youngest brother. "Jeremy, where did you go and what did you do?" Jason asked.
"I went to F-F-Fort J-J-James. I went to talk to . Just to talk, I swear on Mom and Dad's graves. I thought maybe if we talked about what happened, the nightmares would stop and it would be easier for me to get off the Laudanum." Jeremy explained in a trembling voice.
"But that's not what happened." Josh put an arm around Jeremy.
"No, it isn't." The youngest Bolt gulped. "I tried to talk to Todd. I was calm. I explained what a bad time I have been having and I said maybe it would help me to talk to him about what happened. I think I'm going to retch." Jeremy hurried to the far edge of the campsite.
Jeremy retched for a few minutes. Josh took the canteen of water and a cold wet cloth to him. Jeremy wiped his face and took a few sips of water.
"Do you want to go to sleep, Jeremy? It's getting late. We can finish this tomorrow if you want too." Jason asked as his brothers walked back to the campfire.
"No, Jason. I need to finish telling you and Joshua what happened." Jeremy implored him.
"That's fine, brother. I was just thinking with you not feeling well, you might want to wait." Jason assured him.
The three brothers sat down by the fire. Jeremy drank a few more sips of water.
"When I told the reason I wanted to talk to him, he laughed at me. He called me a mama's boy and he said he should have went ahead
and killed me that day." Jeremy frowned.
"Then he said why don't I do that now? Todd grabbed his rifle. I had my shotgun in my hand. When he grabbed his gun, I aimed at him and pulled the trigger fast. I killed him. I killed . Again,I swear I didn't go there to shoot him. I only wanted to talk to him." Jeremy put his face in his hands.
"Jeremy, it was clearly self defense. I understand it's a terrible thing to take a man's life under any circumstances. You had no choice. You couldn't let Todd kill you." Jason tried to comfort him.
"I could have stayed at home. If I had Sgt. Todd would be alive and I wouldn't be a killer." Jeremy was angry.
"Don't torture yourself, brother. It was self defense. You tried to talk to him. He wanted to kill you. Jeremy, he was crazy. Think about how you gave him a second chance the first time he tried to kill you. You could have filed attempted murder charges against him then. But you didn't. Todd brought his demise on himself. You know that Jason and I are right, don't you?" Joshua asked.
"Yes, I know that both of you are right. It was self defense. It wasn't my fault." Jeremy answered.
Jason and Joshua put their arms around Jeremy giving him a hug. "We love you, brother. Let's get some sleep." Jason said.
Joshua set up a cot for Jeremy in the tent. The three brothers went to bed.
Jeremy lay in the dark listening to the night sounds and the snoring of his sleeping brothers. The torment of being tortured by Sgt. Todd had given way to the torment of being the killer of Todd.
Jeremy sat up on the side of the cot. He took a small dose of Laudanum. Hopefully, it would be enough to bring him restful dreamless sleep. Jeremy laid down and put his head on his pillow. He closed his eyes.
Jeremy heard the voice."How ya holding out, boy? Better pick it up a little better from here on out, boy!" Sgt. Todd yelled.
Jeremy threw his blanket over his head and cried.
The End