Chapter Thirty

After a couple of weeks of hard studying, Mary decided that everyone needed a break. She booked a weekend away with John, so that they would have the house to themselves, but Sam decided he didn't want to stay, so made plans to stay with Garth.

Mary spent the Friday before they went away packing, and let Cas and Dean keep studying in the living room until dinner, but insisted they stop for the evening after they'd eaten.

They were sitting on opposite ends of the couch, when Mary and John came into the living room with their bags. Cas was on his phone, pretending he wasn't still studying his online notes, and Dean was attempting to watch a movie.

'Okay, guys, it's really time to take a break,' Mary said. 'You won't retain anything if you burn out.'

Cas grimaced, but put away his phone.

'Come on, Sam,' John called up the stairs. 'Hurry up or lose your ride.'

'Relax, I'm coming.'

Sam hurried down the stairs, his backpack stuff to the point it was almost bursting.

'All right, we'll see you in a few days,' said Mary. 'Try to relax. No parties though.'

'Trust me, no one's in the mood to party,' Dean said. 'Have a good weekend.'

'Goodbye,' Cas said distractedly, giving them a short wave.

Mary gave Dean an exasperated look. 'Try and get him to relax, will you?'

'I'll try ,' Dean said.

Mary, John and Sam all walked out the front door and got in the car. Dean watched them until the car was out of sight, then turned to Cas.

'Hey, get over here,' he said.

Cas looked up and smiled, shuffling over on the couch until he was cuddled up next to Dean.

'You know, you really don't have to do all this,' Dean said, looking down at the notes Cas was reading. 'You have a ninety in like all your classes. You'll be fine.'

Cas hesitated. 'I suppose you're right.' He put his phone away and tried to watch the movie.

Dean was looking forward to a weekend where they wouldn't have to hide. They could just be themselves and be together. That alone was enough to put Dean in a good mood. Enough to enjoy the way Cas smelled, and loosen the anxious knot that formed in his stomach every time he opened his books. Dean put his arm around Cas, but as he did so, glanced down and felt fire flush through him, sweeping through his veins, creeping up his cheeks. The sweatpants Cas was wearing and the way he was sitting left little to the imagination.

Dean's heart beat hard against his chest and his own pants suddenly felt quite uncomfortable. Cas didn't appear to notice, finally engrossed in the film instead of his notes. Dean's stomach filled with butterflies, and he pressed his lips to Cas's neck, on the spot behind his ear.

Cas inhaled sharply, but turned his neck slightly, giving Dean as much access as he wanted, shivering as Dean nibbled at his earlobe.

Dean moved along Cas's jaw, and finally kissed him, running his hand up Cas's thigh. Then, Dean pulled Cas into him, lying back on the couch until Cas was on top of him, bracing himself against the couch with one arm, and sliding the other one underneath Dean. Dean then reached down and grabbed both of Cas's cheeks, squeezing and rolling their hips together, eliciting a small moan from Cas.

Just then the front door burst open.

'Hey, I forgot my - oh my god!'

'Sam!' Dean exclaimed.

Cas scrambled away from Dean, covering himself with a cushion, and Sam just stared at them, eyes wide.

'What the - what?'

'Don't tell Mom and Dad,' Dean said breathlessly.

Sam stood for a moment, stunned, then gave them a smirk. 'What's in it for me?'

Dean hurriedly dug through his pockets. 'Uh, I have a twenty?'

Sam grinned and swiped the note from his hand. 'I wasn't gonna tell them anyway. Thanks, Dean.'

'Bitch,' Dean called as Sam went up the stairs.

'Jerk,' he yelled back.

Dean and Cas listened in silence as Sam rummaged through his room for whatever it was he had forgotten. When he came back down, he stopped and stared at them a little more.

'So… you guys are together?'

Dean groaned. 'Yes,' he said.

'Have you done it yet?'

Cas blushed and Dean gave Sam a disgusted look. 'Why would I tell you that?'

'That's a no then. Sorry I interrupted, I guess,' he sniggered.

'Will you get lost already?' Dean said, throwing a cushion at him.

'I'm going, I'm going. Have fun.'

Dean threw another cushion at him just as he closed the door, leaving them alone. Dean sighed and turned to Cas. 'Well that killed the mood,' he said. 'You okay?'

Cas pressed his lips together but couldn't stop himself from laughing. 'I'm fine,' he said.

Dean smiled. 'Why don't we actually watch this movie.'

They settled together on the couch and stayed there for the rest of the evening. They stayed up late, but eventually made their way upstairs. Dean didn't have to ask anymore, Cas just climbed into the bed beside him, hugging him close from behind. Dean felt Cas brush against his thigh, and his heart fluttered, heat flooding through him once more. He turned to face Cas.

'What?' Cas murmured.

Dean cleared his throat. 'I was just wondering if you wanted to finish what we started earlier,' he whispered.

Cas blinked in surprise, but kissed Dean enthusiastically. He ran his hands up and down Dean's back, holding him as close as possible.

Dean was the first to go under the clothes, slipping his fingers under Cas's shirt and feeling his warm skin, before pulling the shirt off altogether. He let Cas take his off as well, and for the first time, their bare chests were pressed together. Dean could feel the muscles in Cas's back moving beneath his fingers. He hooked his thumbs into the waistband of Cas's pants, but he felt Cas hesitate.

'You all right?' Dean murmured.

'I'm a little nervous,' Cas whispered.

'That's okay. I am too.'

Cas stopped to catch his breath, then went right back to kissing Dean, guiding Dean's hands back to his waistband and helping him pull off his pants. Dean's came off quickly, and Cas stopped kissing him for a moment, to admire him completely. Then his hands were all over Dean, rubbing and stroking before Dean had a chance to take it in.

Dean's stomach twisted and he put a hand to Cas's chest. 'Wait, wait,' he gasped.

Cas let go of him and shuffled back, watching him in concern.

'Sorry,' Dean said, rolling onto his back. 'I just need a second.'

'Do you want to stop?' Cas asked him.

Dean looked into Cas's eyes. It was dark and the moonlight from the window illuminated his face. Dean took a deep breath and smiled. 'No,' he said. 'Just - just slow down, okay?'

Cas smiled back. 'I can do that.'

When Dean was ready, Cas took hold of him again, but went slowly. 'Like that?' he whispered.

Dean nodded, his hand grabbing the smooth skin of Cas's thigh. 'Do you - do you want me to touch you?' Dean asked, barely able to speak.

Cas hesitated again, but then put Dean's hand exactly where he wanted it. He froze for a moment at Dean's touch, but then relaxed into it with a couple of deep breaths.

'Stop if you want to stop, okay?' Dean murmured, grazing his lips along Cas's jaw.

It was everything Dean had wanted, entwined together, going at their own pace. No pressure, no rush, finally feeling every part of Cas that he'd been daydreaming about for so long.

Cas finished first, but he quietly moaned 'fuck', in Dean's ear, and that was enough to send him over the edge too.

They lay together for a while, catching their breath, until Dean gently kissed Cas's cheek.

'We should get cleaned up,' Dean said after a while, and led Cas by the hand to the shower.

Cas didn't say a word, but smiled when they were in the shower together, and playfully sprayed Dean with the shower head. Soon enough, they were back in bed with their pajamas back on.

Dean held Cas in his arms, a warm feeling in his chest. 'How are you feeling?' Dean murmured.

'I feel great,' Cas said.

'Yeah, I bet you do,' Dean chuckled.

'What about you?'

'I'm… awesome,' said Dean.

'Good.' Cas snuggled closer, and they fell asleep together.

Dean woke first, and carefully slipped out of bed while Cas was still sleeping. He snuck downstairs and started cooking a big breakfast for the two of them. Cas walked into the kitchen yawning, just as Dean was frying some eggs.

'Hey,' Dean said brightly, handing Cas a fresh cup of coffee.

'Good morning,' Cas smiled. 'You're cooking?'

Dean nodded. 'Usually Mom likes to, but I make a mean breakfast. I thought you might like to try some.'

Cas gave him a kiss, then sat down at the table, his eyes sparkling.

Dean hummed while he cooked, then set the plates down on the table, full of food.

'This is really sweet of you, Dean,' Cas said quietly. 'Maybe you can teach me to cook sometime. Might come in handy when I'm in dorms.'

'I'd love to.'

Cas smiled at him again, but he seemed to be a little subdued.

Dean reached out and held his hand. 'Are you okay?'

Cas nodded. 'I am. I've just never been that close with anyone.' He looked away, blushing slightly.

Dean's eyebrows rose. 'Are you embarrassed?'

Cas shrugged. 'Maybe a little. Not because of you,' he added hastily. 'It's just - ' He bit his lip, searching for the right words.

'Usually you look like that in private,' Dean said.

'Yes. That's it,' said Cas.

'I get it, but if it helps, I can tell you that you looked amazing. Really hot,' Dean grinned.

'It helps a little,' Cas chuckled.

'Maybe you just need some practice. You know, get used to it some more.'

Cas laughed. 'You could be right. I'll let you know when I'm ready for some more practice.'

They could hardly keep their hands to themselves that day, and Cas insisted on buying Dean dinner.

'I can't cook, but I can still get you something nice,' he reasoned.

By the evening, Cas was more than ready to go again, and didn't bother with pajamas at all, climbing into Dean's bed completely naked.

This time, there was no hesitation on Dean's part. There was no twist in his stomach, no suffocating feeling, only Cas's skin on his.

Sunday, Dean felt as though he were floating, but Cas's anxious expression soon returned as he was compelled to go through his notes again. Dean sat on the floor of the living room with him, studying until he heard the car pull up outside. He gave Cas one last kiss, before shuffling slightly away from him.

'Guys, I told you to relax,' Mary said, dragging her suitcase through the front door.

'I'm sure they did, Mom,' said Sam, grinning wickedly at Dean.

Dean shot Sam a glare, but said, 'We chilled out for a whole day, right, Cas?'

Cas nodded, looking through his flash cards.

'I guess that's good enough,' said Mary, rolling her eyes.

John helped Mary take their bags upstairs. Sam caught Dean's eye and made a jerking motion with his hand.

'I will kill you,' Dean said through gritted teeth, so their parents wouldn't hear him.

Sam snorted and took his own bag upstairs.

Dean sighed and looked at Cas, who was still staring down at his books. The look of concentration on his face, the slight pucker to his lips, the way his thick, dark hair curled around his ears, all of it made Dean want to hold Cas and never let go. But he couldn't touch Cas too much when anyone was around. His longing made his chest tight, and knew that he couldn't keep the secret for much longer. He knew it was time to finally show people who he was, and for the first time, the prospect didn't seem quite so frightening.