Classroom 1A
Chatter filled the air as the hero students murmured to each other.
They had just heard from Arizawa Sensei that each of them had undergone a psyche evaluation by the BAU and the results would soon be made public to the class.
"I hope I passed the evaluation…" Midoriya stammered.
"Oh, relax already." Tenda assured him.
"If there was anyone here who failed the evaluation, do you think they'd still be here?" Momo asked.
"I guess…" Midoriya muttered.
"With how far you have come since the start of the year, I am surprised that you are still such a shy person." Ochako wondered.
Before anyone could respond, they heard the door open.
"Alright, everyone is here. Good." They heard a male voice speak up. They turned to see a blond man standing in the doorway, a stack of files underneath his arm. "My name is Uzumaki Naruto. I am here to debrief you all on your psyche evaluation."
"Uzumaki Naruto? As in the 'Orange Hokage'?" Midoriya asked.
"Who's he?" everyone else asked.
"He is a former Hero until he retired to become a member of the Investigation Agencies and to lead a family life. His Quirk, 'Shadow Clone', allows him to make literal physical clones of himself, all independent thinkers. Whatever the Clones learn will be returned to the original." Midoriya explained, before going of on a tangent about how unfair, useful and broken that quirk was.
Naruto quirked an eyebrow. "Is he always like this?"
"He's a Hero Otaku, Uzumaki-san." Jiro answered.
Naruto nodded, setting down the stack of files on the table. "Alright then, let's get this over with. Let's go through this in alphabetical order. First up Aoyama."
Yuga tensed, suddenly nervous.
"High amount of vanity, pridefulness and a massive flamboyant streak the size of an inflated Mt. Lady, but with an underlying layer of depression, anxiety, guilt and then some…seriously kid. Just because you have a sparkly quirk does not mean your personality needs to be all over the board. Either be cheerful or be depressed." Naruto started. "Next Mina Ashida."
Mina grinned.
"Cheerful, easy-going and friendly, but highly academically challenged. Maybe stop spending time shopping and instead ask your classmates for help studying." Naruto said. "And try not to melt the homework with your quirk. The faculty is planning on charging you extra for every acid-resistant paper they need to buy in order for you to be able to write your tests. Next, Tsuyu Asui."
"Ribbit." Asui croaked.
"Strong mental and emotional stability and a to-the-point personality combined with a versatile quirk. Little to say about you other than you were amongst those who passed with flying colours." Naruto said. "You got a high grade from my colleagues." Asui croaked with a smile. "Next, Katsuki Bakugo."
Bakugo grunted.
"Where to even begin…" Naruto sighed. "You definitely have a heart in the right place. However you currently have a strong drive to become stronger for all the wrong reasons; you have a fuse shorter than an emotionally unstable girl in the middle of pregnancy mood swings; you have a mouth filthier than a kitchen straight out of Gordon Ramsey's 'Kitchen Nightmares', to say nothing about the mans own vocabulary; you have shown a dangerous tendency to put the lives of your fellow heroes and hero trainees in danger with your indiscriminate attacks. Maybe just retire from becoming a hero and become the next Gordon Ramsey. You could make some explosive Popcorn to keep the kids entertained." He ignored Bakugo's roar of rage and turned to the class in general.
"I forgot to mention, your Parents/Legal Guardians will be getting a copy of these Psyche Evaluations as well so you can have an indepth look into them later."
"SAY WHAT, YOU FUCKER!" Bakugo exploded, literally and figuratively.
"I rest my case about your temper. Also, the school will bill your family for the destroyed table." Naruto commented offhand. "Next, Toru Hagakure."
The floating uniform flinched.
"Friendly, cheerful, helpful and an exhibitionist…you do realize that the Hero support staff can use some of your hair to create a Hero costume for you right? One that will cover you up while still being invisible? According to your file, your entire Hero Uniform consists solely of a pair of gloves and shoes. Do you have any idea how much of a headache you have given my best friend, who has an ocular quirk, when he spotted you?" Naruto shook his head.
"What do you mean?" Toru asked.
"He can see things that are normally hidden from sight. He was close to pressing public nudity charges against you." Naruto said, ignoring the loud 'eep' coming from the invisible girl. "What would happen if your Homeroom Teach were to use his quirk on you whilst you are in your Hero Uniform? Just ask the support staff to create you a bodysuit out of your hair or something and you should be fine. Next, Tenya Lida."
The class rep nodded.
"Like Tsuyu-san, you got a passing grade by the evaluators. You are driven, that much was clear from the beginning, but you are also kinda clueless about several things, such as social interactions." Naruto nodded towards the engine powered runner. "Next, Kyoka Jiro."
"Hai."
"I know that you are a metal head, but listening to death metal? Seriously?" Naruto asked.
"What's wrong with Death Metal?" Jiro asked. "It's good music all the same, the same with Hard Rock, Jazz, Pop and the Classics."
"…" Naruto and several members in the class just stared at her. "You know what…never mind. Just don't go all Goth during Halloween, will ya. Anyway, low physical strength leading to an overreliance of your quirk. Maybe ask one of your classmates or teachers to help you set up a training regime to get out of that. Any Villain with a flashbang could cause you some serious pain, right?" Naruto asked. "Next, Denki Kaminari."
Denki smiled like he always does.
"Learn to limit your output or learn to be capable of doing something when you are a lobotomized vegetable. Next to Mina-san, you have the lowest academic scores in the class. Join her in having your classmates fix that. Also, don't rely on your quirk being an end all. If a Villain can ground himself, the effect will be drastically reduced. Next, Eijiro Kirishima."
The redhead nodded.
"I know that your quirk is Hardening, but don't be a battle maniac Blockhead about it. Also, calling girls 'manly' is a bit of a stretch, isn't it?" Naruto asked, making the hard-headed redhead chuckle. "You mostly got a good review but your tendency to get lost to battle mania during your spars with Tetsutetsu from 1-B gave you a less than stellar rating, but still above average in this class." Naruto said, making Eijiro smile. "Next, Koji Koda."
"You sir, need to speak more. Sure, your ability to communicate with animals is quite versatile when searching an area, but are you really that incapable of conversing with Humans? Also, grow a spine when new folks come by. There is nothing wrong with voicing your concerns, you know." Naruto said gently. "Next, Izuku Midoriya."
Izuku flinched upward, straightening his back.
"Seriously dude, grow some backbone. Your mind is already an iron fortress as seen when you fight, so bring some of that iron will into your everyday life. As you have indicated earlier when I walked in, you have an impressive repertoire of knowledge stored inside that noggin of yours and you have a very powerful quirk, though you really need to learn to control that one. From my understanding, it is similar to All Might's correct? Maybe ask him how to control the output so you don't end up shredding every muscle and breaking every bone in your body again. Or do you want your zero-G girlfriend over there to be worried about you the whole time?"
"G-g-g-girlfiend?" Izuku and Uraraka shouted out.
"Ah, speaking of the devil, she speaks. Yes. From our observations, the two of you seem to have a pretty close relationship, don't you? I mean, out of all the members of the opposite gender, the two of you spend the most time together, with Asui-san coming in at a close second."
Most of the class grinned at the red faces of their fellow classmates.
"Next up, Minoru Mineta. Where shall I begin?" Naruto asked, laying a THICK file on the table in front of him. "This is just the last month of the evaluation. 200+ acts of public perversion; 40+ cases of attempted breach of privacy, i.e. sneaking into girls' rooms and/or peeping attempts in the Bathroom; 20+ counts of theft of female underwear, primarily your classmates'."
Mineta turned pale as all of his spare time activities were exposed.
"Girls, if any of you would like to file charges against him, you are free to do so. There is a Military-esque Hero Academy on the other side of the city where he can be sent to." Naruto continued, choosing to ignore the twinkle that appeared in the Girls' eyes. "Or you could hold it over him as Blackmail." The twinkles grew bigger. "Next, Mashirao Ojiro."
"Sir." Ojiro said with a small nod of the head.
"You fall into the same category as Iida-san and Asui-san. Not many things where you can improve on other than maybe stand in the spotlight a few times. Maybe go join a Toastmasters or something." Naruto said. "Next, Rikido Sato."
"The resident kid with a Sugar Rush, pun not intended. Still, despite the energy crash you feel afterwards, something that comes with eating sugar, you still got a passing grade by my fellow BAU staff. My wife showed an interest in your Cinnamon Buns, so in case you wish to quit being a Hero, you can make a living as a Confectionary." Naruto said. "Next, Hanta Sero."
"Yes?" Sero asked.
"Strop trying to be a showoff. And watch what you are saying. Comparing Yaoyorozu's quirk to excrement was way across the line. If you had more than a few brain cells, you'd realize that no, she is in fact not pulling stuff out of her ass but her stomach. Well, most of the time. Still, you make an effort to socialize with everyone, moreso than the other males in this class, so props for that." Naruto said. "Next, Mezo Shoji."
The masked boy nodded.
"You could be a good empathetic Psychiatrist with the amount of stuff that has been thrown your way during your childhood. Additionally, despite your outward appearance you are a true gentle-giant type. Definitely gentler than Kakashi sensei was…" Naruto muttered the last bit, not saying that Shoji looked a bit like Kakashi with his white hair and mask. "Next, Shoto Todoroki."
"Listen kid, I know that you and Endeavour aren't on the best of terms, and that you still believe that the flames you wield are his, but seriously…did he give them to you, or were you born with them?" Naruto asked.
"They are part of my quirk that he passed on to me." Shoto answered.
"So in other words, those are your flames, and yours alone. Not your father's, yours. Anyway, you are making good progress in building a social career despite of, or maybe because of, your upbringing and daddy-issues. Having friends you can trust is important. Anyway, next time you use your quirk, kindly don't turn the district into a Glacier again, or cause another Firestorm. You have a powerful quirk, no need to flaunt the overkill." Naruto stated, showing him satellite pictures of the glacier/firestorms he had created. "Next Fumikage Tokoyami."
"Sir." Tokoyami spoke up.
"Listen kid. Being afraid of the dark is fine, but if you allow that fear to fuel your shadowy sidekick, then eat some cement, and harden the fuck up. That shadow is YOUR quirk. If he won't listen, beat the crap out of him and get him under control." Naruto said. "Other than that, same category as Ida-san and Asui-san. Next, Ochaco Uraraka."
Ochaco gave a small 'Eep'.
"The aforementioned girlfriend of the green kid over there. Probably the bubbliest and most laid-back individual in this school. Also highly determined at times. Maybe become less determined during your fighting, and woman up and take Midoriya to the Lake or something, before he is snatched up by Asui. Anyway, physical capabilities on the lower side, but you compensate for that by wielding a strong martial art style." Naruto continued, missing Ochaco giving Asui and Mina challenging glares. "Your skills in disaster rescue are impressive, your empathetic understanding is above average…and with the amount of underwear stolen from you by Mineta, I am honestly surprised you haven't sent him towards the sun yet. Lastely, there is Momo Yaoyorozu."
"The resident mass fabricator…If we didn't know that your family beuilt their wealth over generations, there would be many people who would accuse you of creating Gold using your quirk." Naruto began.
"I have never made Gold with Creation." Momo complained.
"Actually, I am sure that some of the more technical items you have created before have had some gold components in them." Naruto stated. "Also, please don't go and crash the economy by creating mass amounts of gold Bullion. Stick to making sticks to beat the shit out of people. Anyway, your lack of physical prowess is made up for by your mental capabilities combined with a versatile and rather unique quirk, and the sheer amount of cash your parents give you as chum change, there are few tasks you wouldn't be able to achieve in the end."
Just then an older male walked in.
"Ah, the resident scare crow." Naruto said. "Also, certified lazy ass, prude, humourless and homeless vagrant, welcome to class, Erasorhead."
"I am not homeless, you blond freak of nature." Arisawa said.
"That sleeping bag and the couch in the teachers room do not count, old man." Naruto commented. "Also, still glaring at me? I am simply stating the truth."
"I have a home, you know." Arisawa growled.
"Yet you spend so little time there, the dust must be several inches thick." Naruto quipped.
The class was staring at the blonde man in awe, seeing him banter with their homeroom teacher like it was nothing.