A/N: Hello! Let me preface by saying that my writing sucks. You're free to tell me that again (no hard feelings, and criticism of all kinds is welcome) but if you feel like my stories have wasted your time, don't say I didn't warn you!

Also yes, those are apostrophes. FFN automatically formats single quotation marks, which are the standard for dialogue across the British Commonwealth, into apostrophes. There is nothing I can do about this.

Chapter 1: A Bocchi in the Back Alley

No, it couldn't be, right? Was that… pram moving?

I was probably just tired. I was commuting two hours each way to school, so recently I had been waking up earlier than usual. I wasn't getting any naps in either, because I was worried about my sleeping face.

I shook off the fatigue and checked my phone. No messages.

I looked up and found that the pram still looked like it was moving. The woman I supposed was the mother was chatting to a friend.

I stared at the pram, hard. It wasn't just the wind on the patterns of the fabric. I think it was definitely moving.

T-that was kind of bad, right?

I looked around. Surely I wasn't the only one seeing this. Was nobody else going to say anything?

Nearby high schoolers were chatting quietly to themselves about something or other. The foreigners with the suitcases were doing the same thing, but more boisterously and frighteningly. The salaryman...

'Ah…'

It was definitely, definitely moving.

Mr Salaryman over there, please stop drinking and pay attention!

It was still moving. Wasn't anybody going to notice? Somebody notice the moving pram !

'A-ah—'

Wait, no way, right? No way, no way, right?

It was moving onto the road!

'Aaaaahhh!'

I threw myself forwards and pulled the pram back just before it rolled off the curb. Safe!

Then I tripped when my foot stubbed against the floor and continued forwards.

…

Huh? W-why was I standing on a chess board?

A little ways ahead of me, a blue-haired woman with same-coloured eye contacts was sitting on a white throne.

'Welcome to the afterlife.'

Afterl…

N-no way… I died…?

Just like that…?

I never even managed to speak to any of my new classmates!

Did I really die because I tripped over nothing?

'Hello?'

My parents. Oh no. I hoped that they wouldn't cry for too long.

At least they had Futari and Jimihen.

Oh no.

'Hello?'

What if they tried breaking into my computer to handle my affairs and then found all of the embarrassing songs I wrote.

'Helloooo?'

W-w-w-what if they discovered my Oh!Tube account and all the embarrassing lies I wrote!

'Aaaaahhh!'

'Aaaaaaahhh!' the woman screamed back.

Aaaaaaaah!

I fell back onto my butt but quickly scrambled to prostrate myself.

'S-s-s-s-sorry! Sorry, sorry! I-I was a little lost in my thoughts!'

I rubbed my forehead as pitifully as I could against the ground. I'm sorry, afterlife lady! Please forgive me! What if she took offence and sentenced me to Hell because I'd been ignoring her to focus on my own issues?

'It's fine. Please raise your head.'

When I refused to do so, she elaborated.

'People have all sorts of reactions when they find themselves here. You just caught me by surprise because it was so sudden.'

I chanced a look and raised my forehead just a fraction.

I could only see her legs, but she had already stood up from where she had fallen from her throne.

'Come now', she said, 'please stand. I have news for you, both good and ill.'

I still couldn't find it in myself to stand up. What if this was a trick? I felt… oddly comforted around her, but maybe that was also a trick. Maybe I'd stand up, and then she would suddenly shout, 'So you really think you're worthy of standing in my presence? I was just saying that to be polite. Ten thousand years in Hell for you!' and banish me to Naraka.

I could already see myself being cut up into a thousand pieces. And then even in Naraka, nobody would talk to me.

Everybody else's dismembered body parts would be joining the Arms Gang or maybe the Torso Gang, but my pieces would only have themselves for company. We'd be stuck forming our own gang, the Hitori gang for hitoribocchi body parts.

W-would the tyranny of the extroverts never end…? Even in Hell I'd be…

'Ah, your legs must be weak from the shock,' she said. Ah, I needed to pay attention… 'That's all right. I suppose it's not bad that you're sitting down. To be blunt, you were struck by a truck and flung ten paces down the road. That's the bad news.'

I knew it. I knew it, but I was hoping that maybe…

'The good news is that you did not die. It's been about three days since you were hospitalised, and while stable, your body slumbers in a coma.'

'A c-coma…?' I asked.

Did that mean I could wake up? Or maybe not, since I was in the afterlife… Maybe I'd be comatose for life.

The senior nurses would point me out to the new hires and say, 'Oh, and that's the girl with no friends. Nobody except her family has ever visited her, so don't worry about changing the water for the flower vase'.

I'd spend the next sixty years the way I spent my first fifteen and a half - alone. Then when I finally passed away, it would just be Futari's grandchildren half-heartedly paying for a budget funeral.

Aaaaahhh! I should've just said something at the pedestrian crossing!

Why was my life always such an endless stream of bad choices?!

'It's not our usual practice to extend such an offer to still living souls, but your act of heroism has impressed enough of us that we're making an exception.'

I braved a short glance at her. The… goddess? She was smiling at me.

'W-w-what kind of o-offer… are you t-talking about…?' I asked. Sometimes I stuttered at home, but it wasn't usually this bad. Could this have been the first person I'd spoken to in months that wasn't my family?

It was strange to say this about myself, but that was actually so tragic that I wanted to cry.

The goddess' smile turned into something more broad.

'I'm Aqua, the goddess assigned to guide the young souls of Japan. When they pass away, I give them two choices. One is to go to Heaven. The other…'

I watched her flash me an excited look.

'To be frank, most of the applicants we send through this programme are simply to fill up the ranks. All they need to do is survive and have children. A few, though, we expect more of. You, dear soul, are one of them.'

Lady Aqua quietly explained the program.

This was the gist of it:

There was a high fantasy world where a Demon King was causing trouble. The people in that world were given a choice to go to heaven or reincarnate when they died, but because death at the hands of the Demon King was too terrifying, almost none of them chose the latter.

That's why the gods and goddesses were sending destined heroes to this world, to survive, have children, and for a select few, to defeat the Demon King.

…I was horrified.

'B-b-b-b-but I don't know how to f-f-fight!' I cried.

'It does not matter. In this world, as long as you have the courage to try, the knowledge will find you.'

What did that even mean?!

'W-w-wha…?'

'Yes?'

Say it! Ask her what she means, Hitori!

'What do you need me to do?'

Noooooooooooo!

'We'll incarnate you in this world with your current body and memories, as well as a "cheat power" as your people call it.'

While I was regretting my lack of a spine, I realised that my eyes had found themselves looking at the ground again.

It was so distracting whenever she uncrossed and recrossed her legs. Why was the fashion in the divine realm so bold…? I could almost see her…

'So long as you vanquish even one of the Demon King's generals, we shall aid you in rousing from your coma. Should the Demon King fall at the hands of any hero, we shall aid you in rousing from your coma. And who can say? Perchance, should you forge friendships in this new land, you might decide to remain.'

Friends...? Of course... In any adventure story, the hero always had friends.

'Time doesn't run linearly between worlds, so you might simply choose to awaken from your coma after living a full life in this world.'

'I agree!' I blurted.

'Wonderful,' she said. 'Shall we move onto the bestowal then?'

A number of sheets of paper appeared on the floor before my eyes.

'In front of you lies a choice, and you must make it wisely. I am able to bestow upon you a single power, be it a unique ability of great strength or a weapon of legend.'

My eyes scanned the cheat powers.

Superhuman strength… Dragon summoning… Flamebrand… Cursed Sword Gram… Crystal Dragon Staff…

…Dragonslaying Bard's Lute?

'E-excuse me?'

'Hm?'

'W-w-what's this one?'

Dragonslaying Bard's Lute

Bestowed with confidence and might
Equal to all who hear its strum
Whoever plays this lute shall be.
Like a dragon thou shalt become.

I moved my gaze down from its flavour text and began reading its item description. Crafted from the bones and entrails of an ancient red dragon, those who strum this old dragonslayer's lute are g-g-guaranteed to be filled with the courage and inner strength of those they perform to!

'Ah, in essence, for a time it endows you with the confidence and strength of all who hear your melody. Not very useful unless you have a huge party, or you face a large number of foes.'

…Endows me with confidence? Endows me with confidence?!

'I-I-I'd like this one! Please! T-this one please!'

I wasn't so sure about the entrails part, but if only I had this item I'd finally be able to talk to people!

Lady Aqua gave me an odd look, but shrugged her shoulders gracefully and nodded.

'Very well. Please stand in the magic circle.'

My time had finally come…

I took a deep breath and did as Lady Aqua said. As soon as I was in the centre, violet sparks erupted under my feet. Suddenly, it was like gravity abandoned me. When I started rising, I instinctively reached for something to grab onto, but there was nothing except the swirling motes of purple light that danced around me, slowly turning sky blue.

My heart thumped wildly in my chest.

For a few moments, I simply hung there, suspended in mid-air, until Lady Aqua's voice broke through the haze of wonder that had settled over me.

'Now, depart on your journey with the Dragonslaying Bard's Lute, hero. I bid you farewell!'

＊＊＊

When the lights faded, I found myself in an alley. In my hand was the Dragonslaying Bard's Lute, but otherwise I didn't feel any different from usual.

It wasn't until I tentatively stepped out into the street that I realised I was standing in an idyllic fantasy town.

It could have been plucked straight out of a fairy tale. Quaint houses lined the streets, made from beige brown bricks and topped with red tiled roofs, but the glass in their windows made them seem very modern. The uniformly cobbled streets under my feet matched my image of a European town, but were also too well-made to be medieval. …Probably. I wasn't exactly well-read on history, or on Europe. Colourful clothes hung from lines that stretched from second story windows to the buildings across the street.

I might have mistaken this for some place in modern Europe except for a few things - it wasn't cars or bikes passing by me, but horses, carriages, and animals of burden that roamed the roads in their stead. I looked around in wonder and my gaze landed on some of the locals.

…They were looking back at me. A few were even staring and whispering.

I was still wearing my pink tracksuit. Everybody else was wearing tunics or strange RPG gear. The only difference was the lute in my hand. Oh no… What if they thought I stole it? It didn't match the rest of me at all…

I quickly started walking to avoid their notice. I felt their stares on my back, as I made my way down the street.

What was I supposed to do in this situation?

Save a merchant from some bandits? Find an inn? That's how everybody did things in the web novels…

I passed by a few hawkers and merchant stalls who tried to call out to me, but I ignored them as best I could.

As I walked down the bustling street, my mind raced with questions and possibilities. I couldn't shake the feeling that I was being watched, and the whispers of the townsfolk only served to intensify my discomfort. I tried to focus on the details of the town around me, hoping to find some clue as to what I should do next.

That's when I saw it - a wooden sign swinging from a post at the end of the street. It depicted a bed with a crescent moon overhead, and beneath it read 'The Silver Cow Inn'. Relief washed over me at the sight of it. Surely, an inn would be the perfect place to gather my bearings and figure out my next move.

I quickened my pace, eager to reach the sanctuary of the inn. As I drew closer, I noticed the inn's exterior was painted a soft shade of blue, and there were flower boxes overflowing with vibrant blooms adorning the windowsills. It looked cosy and inviting, thankfully nothing too fancy or stylish.

In the novels the protagonist would step into the inn, and then the innkeeper would say, 'Welcome. That's some unusual clothing you're wearing,' to which the protagonist would respond 'I'm from out of town.'

I'm from out of town, I'm from out of town, I'm from out of town.

I spent a few minutes practising in my head while walking up and down the street, making sure it looked like I was headed somewhere instead of just loitering, before I decided I was ready.

That was also how long it took for me to realise that I had no money…

I had no money…

Come to think of it, I was sent here to be an adventurer, wasn't I? That was part of Lady Aqua's explanation, and was how I was supposed to earn a living, but…

…Where did adventurers get their jobs?

I glanced around. A few people had stopped to look my way and whisper. They were talking about me for sure.

I had to ask one of them. It was so simple, just a 'I'm hoping to become a new adventurer. Do you know where I should be going?'

I looked down at my lute. I'd faintly realised it while gearing myself up to enter the inn, but to make use of this, I had to actually play it to others.

…I couldn't do it.

I tried to force my arms to move. Icy weights held them down by my side. It was like all feeling in them had been stolen away.

The thought of playing to a live audience was so terrifying that a dark hole had opened up in the pit of my stomach.

Move, Hitori! Just strum something! Anything!

In the end I left those strangers without playing a note.