Lyin Eyes

by ValRose666

This is essentially a TGIQ rewrite that explores the true nature of Buffy's relationship with The Immortal and Why she wants it to remain a secret from Angel. This story is the first chapter of what will probably be a long running series.

5. Fire and Rain

/

Chapter 5 aka "Fire and Rain".

The next 6 months of Buffy's life went relatively well. Angel was still in the coma and depending on the day, he seemed to be making a small bit of progress. Every once in a while, Angel would flinch or move his hand or do something that gave off the impression that he was at least attempting to awaken from the coma.

The A.I. team along with a revolving door of doctors and shamans and faith healers constantly were reminding Buffy over the course of those 6 months that Angel was still deep inside of the coma and that just because he would have involuntary muscle spasms, that wasn't proof that he was trying to wake up from the coma. Buffy was determined to prove all of the naysayers wrong and she sat out just to do that.

In August of 2004, Buffy did some online research and was able to find a doctor who was based in Argentina and specialized in demon neurology and flew him out to the United States to assess Angel's condition.

The specialist from Argentina told Buffy that the damage to Angel's brain wasn't as severe as previously thought and that the swelling in his brain had actually gone down in recent months and that because the swelling had lessened, there was now a very remote possibility that he could wake up from the coma.

The doctor also repeated to Buffy what everyone else had been telling her when it came to Angel's condition, that something magical was blocking him from coming out of it and that he had to fight whatever that was to come out of it.

Buffy was deeply disappointed to further hear that there might be something magical blocking Angel from getting out of the coma but she was happy to know that there was now some actual hope that maybe he could come out of it.

Before the doctor returned to Argentina, he gave Buffy some tips on things that might bring Angel out of the coma sooner such as reading to him or playing music in his bedroom(which she had been doing beforehand) and she promised to take the doctor's words to heart.

When Buffy wasn't working on cases with the A.I. team(which she had barely a knack for) or working on trying to find a bar to buy(which she was seriously exploring the idea of), she was usually situated in Angel's bedroom doing what the doctor suggested.

As for her relationships with her surrogate family, Buffy considered them to be severed. Buffy had not talked to either Xander or Giles since she left Rome and she had no plans to do so and she felt little remorse over the loss of those connections. After the mess that both of them created and inadvertently brought her into, Buffy was happy to sever ties with those 2 imbeciles.

When it came to Willow and Dawn, Buffy was slowly building back up her relationships with them. Dawn was a hard nut to crack in terms of repairing their relationship but Buffy was hellbent on at least attempting to do it, since family was everything to her.

As for Willow, she would drop into the Hyperion every few weeks and have lunch with Buffy and they would discuss the latest developments in each other's lives and talk about possible spells that could have potentially brought Angel out of his coma.

Buffy and Willow's relationship was far from perfect and they definitely had a lot of work to do in terms of fixing things in their relationship and healing from past traumas(that they caused each other) but the both of them loved each other so much that they knew it was going to be worth the battle.

Yes, Life was going pretty well for Buffy until December.

/

December 2004

Los Angeles

It was a mid afternoon at the Hyperion and everyone had decided to go out for lunch, except for Buffy. Buffy had decided to stay behind and catch up on reading the book that she had checked out of the local library which was about how to awaken someone from a coma.

Buffy was sitting at the tail-end of the hotel steps reading her book when someone that she didn't recognize walked into the lobby of the hotel.

At first, Buffy thought that the mysterious visitor to the hotel was another client until she looked further at the person and saw that it was actually someone that she knew. It was someone from her past that she hoped to never cross paths with again.

"Nina Ash? What are you doing here?" Buffy shockingly asked, as she walked to the front door of the lobby to greet Nina.

Buffy was a little bit confused to see Nina Ash standing in the lobby of her hotel. Nina was someone that she hadn't seen in at least several years and she wasn't entirely sure why Nina was there or even how she knew about the Hyperion. However what Buffy did know was that nothing but pure disgust and hatred was running through her veins at the mere sight of the other blonde.

To say that Buffy was happy to see Nina was quite an understatement, especially since she hated her with the fire of a thousand suns.

"Buffy! What are you doing here?" Nina retorted. Nina was definitely caught off-guard to see Buffy of all people at the Hyperion. Nina had not seen Buffy in several years at that point in time and truth be told, she had hoped to never see her again.

"I am Angel's friend and I have just been here taking care of things since he got sick. How exactly is it that you know Angel?" Buffy said, while she looked her up and down while her arms were folded.

"I am actually Angel's girlfriend or at least I thought I was. I haven't seen him in months and so I asked around the demon community and was told that he might be here. I need to see him, if he's here." Nina replied, with her voice being full of fake sweetness.

The word "Girlfriend" hit Buffy like a ton of bricks. None of Angel's team had expressed to her that he had a girlfriend in the length of time that she had been in Los Angeles and Buffy was definitely NOT planning on him having one, especially not one that was as rancid as Nina Ash.

Buffy pondered for a small second if Angel was in a relationship with Nina when he was in Rome with her. If that was indeed the case, she seriously wondered how they could have done the things that they did in Rome, when he knew his heart clearly belonged to another woman.

"Angel has been in an irreversible coma for the better part of 6 months, so he can't see anyone. If you are indeed his girlfriend as you say, why in the hell did it take you 6 months to come here?" Buffy skeptically stated, as she was seriously fighting the growing urge to throw Nina's smug acting ass right out on the street.

The tension between Buffy and Nina was starting to grow by the second and it was steadily becoming so thick that it could have been cut by a knife. The fake sweetness of their earlier conversation had vanished and what replaced it seemed to be a brewing vitriolic battle, since it was now clear that they obviously had loved/cared for the same man.

"I am going to take a small guess and say that you are not just Angel's friend. You are the girl that he was talking about when we were in bed. You are his little roman friend, aren't you?" Nina sniped at Buffy, just before she let out a light laugh and shook her head.

"Last time that I checked, you were still dealing with my father. What happened to that?" Buffy said, sharply.

"Hank is a mess and I chose to leave said mess alone ages ago. Now tell me where is Angel at?" Nina said, loudly.

Nina figured that Angel was probably somewhere upstairs in the hotel and so she started walking toward the hotel stairs and Buffy blocked her from going up the stairs by situating herself in front of them and holding out her arms to block the entryway. Nina could NOT believe the nerve of this girl and scoffed at her.

"Once again, he is literally in a coma. You can come back when he wakes up, which doesn't look like it will ever happen. Oh and that's actually great in a sense because it means I will never have to see you again." Buffy said, as she gave her a devilish grin.

"Buffy, I see that you are still mad about me getting together with Hank and apparently breaking up your so-called happy home which we both know was a mess long before I came along." Nina said harshly, with the intention of her words cutting through Buffy like a sword.

"Nina, we are the same age. You not only being with my father was disgusting but it was also illegal. One of the main reasons why me and my mother left Los Angeles was because we didn't want to deal with your little fucked up lolita love affair." Buffy said, exasperatedly.

Buffy was truly beginning to get frustrated with the conversation. How in the hell could Nina mention her parent's divorce? That was still such an extremely soft spot for her, even years after the fact.

Buffy could clearly see that Nina was throwing barbs at her in an attempt to really provoke her and whereas she really wanted to beat the living shit out of the broad, she knew that it would truly be pointless to do so. In an attempt to calm down and not give into her aforementioned desire, Buffy counted to 100 in latin in her head.

"What happened with Hank happened ages ago and I find it a bit silly that you are still mad about that. Oh and you are the last person to talk about relationships because from what Angel told me about yours with him, it was a complete mess." Nina snarkily said, as she tapped her chin with her finger in an almost annoying way.

"You don't know a damn thing about my relationship with Angel." Buffy angrily grumbled, as she walked over to the hotel front counter and took a bottle of water out of the mini fridge that was up under it and then started drinking from it.

"I know that you don't give a flying fuck about Angel or else you wouldn't have basically gave him some stupid ass speech about cookie dough and you guys being together and then turned around and forgot that he existed for like a year and spent that year in Europe getting fucked by a demon." Nina retorted, with her voice having heavy hints of venom and vitriol encased within it.

At even the mere suggestion of the Immortal, Buffy felt herself become highly enraged. Buffy was already in a questionable mood but the evil ignorant bitch had to go and poke the proverbial bear and in Buffy's eyes, that meant the gloves were now off.

Buffy walked over to Nina and roughly grabbed her by the back of her head and dragged her by her hair over to the hotel front counter and slammed her head repeatedly into it.

"I don't know what Angel told you during pillow talk but you don't know shit about me or my life or my relationship with Angel." Buffy screamed, as she picked Nina up from the hotel counter and threw her face first into a nearby wall.

Nina slamming into the wall caused her to loudly yelp out in pain due to the fact that her arm was now clearly broken. Nina gathered that Angel's little roman friend was a bit unhinged from what he had told her about her but now she could see that it was Buffy, she knew the bitch was definitely crazy. Nina had NOT come to that hotel seeking a fight but if Buffy wanted one, she was prepared to give it.

"You broke his heart, Buffy. You played around with him for years and when he finally woke up and got tired of your bullshit, he moved on to someone a lot better. You see, I gave him what you couldn't." Nina said assuredly, as she picked herself up from off of the hotel floor and wiped some blood off of her face.

"What is that Nina? Last season's knockoff Gucci flip flops and a pussy that has been seen by more men than the superbowl?" Buffy said sarcastically.

"No, a real woman that can make him happy and satisfy his needs. We both know that you have never been capable of doing that." Nina said unabashedly, as she walked up to Buffy and whispered in her ear.

"Oh sweetie, you are so wrong. You have no clue how wrong you are. Do you know what we did when Angel came to Rome? Well let's just say that my baby got what he needed and so much more." Buffy proudly exclaimed, while grinning.

"I am going to take a guess and say that whatever you gave him wasn't very good at all." Nina said spitefully, as she walked behind the hotel counter and opened up the mini fridge, hoping to find something to press against her jaw. Eventually Nina found a cold can of coke and pressed it up against her jaw.

"Why do you say that, stupid bitch?" Buffy asked, as she went back to go sit down on the stairs and regain her composure.

"Because we slept together immediately after he got back from Rome and when he mentioned his little roman friend aka what I now know was sadly you, words of love were the last thing that were coming out of his mouth." Nina said, ruthlessly and with an evil smile embedded on her face.

"No, you are wrong. Angel wouldn't touch you. You are a bimbo with no morals and no conscience, that's not his type at all. Plus there was the curse and you don't know how to get around it like I do."

"Oh he definitely touched me and did a whole hell of a lot more than that too. It was incredible and easily the best fuck of my life. You know I think that we might do it again when he wakes up." Nina said savagely as she licked her lips while remembering her one night of passion with Angel in his penthouse.

"You miserable bitch-" Buffy said scornfully, as she rose up from her seat on the stairs and prepared to punch Nina. However Nina blocked the punch this time around. Buffy felt tears beginning to rush to her eyes but she was fighting like hell to keep them contained.

"Do you want to know what Angel said about you the night that we made love? That you were a silly little girl that was immature, brainless, and that you were a slut. Angel actually said a few more choice words about you but that was the context of his thoughts about you." Nina said tactfully, with her words being clear, concise, and to the point.

"Angel would NEVER say things that mean about me. I refuse to believe that."

"God, you are really a dumb bitch." Nina said, empathetically while looking Buffy directly in her eyes. "He called you an easy stupid slut that will drop her panties for whoever asks. Now does that sound like a man who still gave a damn about you even after you broke his heart?" Nina continued.

Nina was absolutely loving poking at Buffy and watching her get riled up. After all the pain that Angel's "little roman friend" had caused him, she felt as though she deserved a taste of her own medicine and Nina was happy to give her a heaping of it.

Nina might have secretly had her own agenda in the beginning for being with Angel but she truly grew to like him and even care about him a bit and part of her was hopeful that maybe they could have something if he just gave up on his "little roman friend".

When Nina spent her one night with Angel, he would tell her stories after they were done making love about his "little roman friend" and she ultimately came to the conclusion that this mysterious woman was someone who was not only a slut but also someone who was too stupid to see that she had a man halfway across the world who loved her unconditionally and worshiped the ground that she walked on.

Nina wasn't a stupid woman at all. Nina was well aware that she was a placeholder and that Angel didn't want to be in bed with her that night. Nina knew from his actions that night and how he spoke of his "little roman friend" that he would probably never stop loving her and that broke Nina's heart, because she wanted to give him the love that he was clearly being denied from her.

Now that Nina knew that Angel's little roman friend was Buffy, she was hellbent on making her suffer for not only how she broke Angel's heart but also for the way that she treated her when they were teenagers, so yeah she loved poking that proverbial bear.

Nina was tossed out of her reverie by Buffy beginning to yell at her again.

"Get out of here, Nina." Buffy yelled.

Buffy's eyes were beginning to glisten with tears and she turned around in an attempt to not let Nina see her cry. Buffy was not going to give the bitch the satisfaction of seeing her tears.

"Poor little Buffy is about to cry, eh." Nina said, mockingly. " Your tears don't mean shit to me. You have been sitting around here pining for a man who damn near hated you in the last few weeks of his life. You really are pathetic and if I gave a fuck about you, I would actually care." Nina continued, with nothing but large metaphorical shards of hatred and vitriol seeping through her voice.

Buffy was done trying to keep her composure. Nina had hit a nerve that Buffy wasn't sure she had until that moment. Buffy roughly grabbed Nina by her arm and pulled her to the front door of the hyperion, opened it up, and roughly threw Nina out onto the pavement.

"You are banned from this hotel until Angel wakes up." Buffy shouted.

"You can't do that, Buffy. It's not your hotel." Nina replied, while attempting to collect herself off of the ground.

"Nina, I beg to differ on that one. You see I am calling the shots here now. Get the hell out of here and I will be sure that Angel calls you, if he ever wakes up. I am sure that the both of you can't wait to get back to your little love affair." Buffy screamed, as she roughly closed the door to the hotel and left Nina reeling on the sidewalk.

/

Immediately after dealing with Nina, Buffy ran upstairs to Angel's hotel room. Once inside the room, she just stood at the edge of his bed and stared at Angel in his comatose form. Buffy's whole body was metaphorically on fire and she was torn between wanting to scream, cry, or kill Angel.

Buffy had a small thought to rip the cords to his life support machines out of the wall, which she knew she could never do. Buffy also had a small thought to take a pillow and just put it over his head and smother him to death, which she also would never do. Even though she was beyond pissed at what Nina had spewed about him, she knew in her heart that the conceited asshole that was laying in the bed in front of her was still the love of her life, although the thought of killing him seemed great at that moment.

Buffy's emotions were all over the place but the one emotion that she mostly felt was pure heartbreak. Buffy was truly and unequivocally heartbroken. Sure the little association that Buffy had with Angel was spotty but she never gave up hope that maybe someday they would find their way back to each other. It just broke her heart to find out that he had chosen to love another and that the person he supposedly now loved was a woman that she hadn't seen in years but hated immensely.

Buffy walked over to one of the chairs that was situated in the center of the room and sat down and put her head in her hands and just began to bawl. There were so many thoughts going through Buffy's head after her little interaction with Nina but what mostly clouded her brain were questions.

How could Angel make all those promises to her in Italy and then turn around just a few short hours later and then make love to another woman? How could Angel sit in bed with that same woman and share secrets about her life? Secrets that she never wanted anyone to know. Did Angel really go into a coma thinking that she was a careless idiot? Did Angel even still love her as he went into that alley? Did he give her the money and the hotel because he felt sorry for her?

These were many questions that Buffy needed answers to and she needed Angel to wake up, so that they could be answered.

Buffy got up from where she was sitting in the hotel room and walked over to Angel's bed and softly ran her hand across his cheek. Angel's heart rate spiked a bit on the life support machine when Buffy touched his cheek.

"I put my life on hold for you, you son of a bitch. I don't even want to be in L.A. I am here because you needed me. How dare you hurt me like this?" Buffy said, as she leaned over Angel and whispered in his ear.

Buffy knew that she probably didn't have a right to be mad. It wasn't as if her and Angel were actually back together or that they had made any official plans to reunite. It just was killing her to know that it seemed as though he hated her in the last few weeks of his life and that he entered into a relationship with a woman who has ice water running through her veins.

"You are so lucky that I love you so damn much or I promise you that I would take off and leave your ass here and leave your fate in the hands of someone like Wesley." Buffy said, as she continued whispering in his ear.

"Um, did you beat the hell out of Nina?" Gunn said nervously, as he walked into Angel's hotel room carrying what looked to be a bag of food from Burger King. Gunn had seen Nina running from the hotel parking lot when he arrived back at the hotel with Fred and Wesley and it didn't take too much to figure out what happened to cause that.

"That bitch needed to learn a lesson, Gunn." Buffy said, nonchalantly and while shrugging her shoulders. "Is that for me?" Buffy curiously asked, while eyeing the bag of food in Gunn's hand.

"Yes, because you got a thing where you don't eat." Gunn replied, as he handed Buffy the bag of food.

"You know that was one of Angel's hangups, that I don't eat. I swear back in Sunnydale, that man was always trying to fatten me up." Buffy mumbled, as she rumbled through the bag of food and took out some fries and started eating them.

"For the record, I do eat but I don't like carbs. However I do appreciate you bringing me food. Thank you." Buffy said, happily.

"You are welcome." Gunn murmured, as he smiled and nodded his head.

"Why do I feel like what I just saw on Nina was your handiwork, Buffy?" Wesley questioned, as he walked into the hotel room with Fred by his side.

"The bitch had it coming?" Buffy quipped, as she squinted her eyes and shrugged her shoulders again.

"Why was Nina here, Buffy?" Wesley inquired, as he walked over to one of Angel's life support machines and checked his stats on it.

"Why didn't any of you tell me that Angel had a girlfriend? Why didn't you tell me that it was Nina Ash?" Buffy asked, as her voice took on a tone that was low and scary and her eyes were half-closed.

"It wasn't our place to tell you." Gunn replied, as he sat on the edge of Angel's bed and started to bite into his whopper.

"There's a lot of things that we can't tell you, Buffy. We can't betray Angel's trust." Fred said, as she sat down on the bed next to Gunn.

"Angel wasn't with Nina for very long. Their relationship consisted of maybe a couple of dates. I doubt that he was truly in the process of building something with her." Wesley said, just before he took a sip of his drink from burger king.

Gunn and Fred shot metaphorical daggers from their eyes at Wesley. Fred and Gunn needed Wesley to shut up about Nina. All 3 of them knew that the subject of Nina was going to be hard to explain to Buffy and none of them truly wanted to do it. Plus explaining Nina to her would be a violation of Angel's trust and they were definitely not going to do that.

"I don't know why the hell the both of you are looking at me oddly. Buffy's been here for months and she deserves to know the truth about EVERYTHING. I for one am not going to keep lying to her." Wesley said sharply, as he folded his arms and gave a pointed look toward Fred and Gunn.

"Why does it sound like you know Nina?" Gunn asked, while burrowing his eyebrow and turning his attention toward Buffy.

"I do know Nina. Nina and I went to the same high school and she also used to sleep with my father for a short time. Nina's one of the sluts who helped to break up my parents' marriage. I literally hate that bitch." Buffy said, bluntly and as she leaned her back up against the wall that was next to the balcony in the room and folded her arms.

Gunn and Fred and Wesley all gave each other looks at that revelation. Wesley was a little startled to find out that the ex-slayer and the werewolf knew one another and was sure that friction was going to occur now that they knew of their places in Angel's life.

Fred wasn't sure what to make of Buffy's admission. Fred was definitely a little flabbergasted at the unexpected revelation and couldn't really form words for a second after hearing it. Fred felt mostly sorry for Buffy because she knew that she was more likely blindsided by Nina and it didn't have to be that way.

Fred knew that Angel had traveled to Rome to see Buffy before the battle in the alley and he could have told her about Nina then, instead of having it come out like this.

Gunn's mouth dropped at the revelation that Buffy knew Nina. Gunn had barely known or even liked Nina that much but to hear that she was a homewrecker really made her look bad in his eyes. Gunn had not truly known Buffy for very long but he knew that if someone upset her to the point where her face was damn near beet red(as she was in that moment), it had to be someone that she really hated.

Gunn was pretty sure that all hell was about to break loose now Buffy and Nina had come across each other and were now well aware of their positions in Angel's life. Gunn was semi happy that Angel was still in the irreversible coma because he knew that if he woke up,his life was going to suddenly turn into an episode of the damn "Jerry Springer" show.

"Wait, I am super confused. You went to school with Nina and she slept with your father. What the hell?" Gunn loudly murmured, as his eyes became enlarged and he scratched his head.

"Nina is someone who helped to break up my parents marriage, right along with the other one million bimbos that my dad was sleeping around with. We were friends in middle school but then we got to high school and that's when things changed." Buffy said, as she winced and shook her head violently at the thought of Nina and her father being together.

"How so?" Wesley asked.

"I got popular and Nina did NOT. I started hanging out with the cool kids and left Nina behind. Nina wore braces throughout middle school and part of high school and that doesn't exactly gain you cool points. Nina never forgave me for ditching her for the so-called cool crowd and eventually she fixed herself up and went after my father as a way to spite me." Buffy harshly said, just before she took a sip of her drink from burger king.

"Wait, Isn't that like statutory rape?" Fred interrupted, while raising her hand up.

"Fred, yup. One of the reasons why me and my mother moved to Sunnydale outside of the fact that I kept getting in trouble in school was because my mother didn't want anything to do with my father's cradle robbing." Buffy retorted, just before she walked over to the trash can in the room and put her cup into it.

"Buffy, that's pretty heavy stuff." Gunn said, while shaking his head.

"I know how Nina gets down and if she had any type of association with Angel, I can guarantee you that it wasn't on the up and up. That woman is an opportunist." Buffy said, flippantly and while folding her arms.

"Are you sure that you are not just saying that out of jealousy? I mean you haven't seen Nina in what maybe 5 to 6 years? Perhaps she has changed since then?" Gunn protested.

"Gunn, Nina was a little bit clingy when it came to Angel. Plus she did have a tendency to act snobby at times back at the law firm. I am not saying that Buffy is right about Nina being conceited but given her behavior in the past, it might be possible that she is still that way." Wesley interrupted.

"I am not jealous. If Angel wakes up and decides that he wants a future with Nina, I will respect his wish and walk away. I just know how Nina can be and I don't trust her. I don't want her anywhere near this hotel until Angel wakes up." Buffy said, irately.

Fred took one look at Buffy and could tell that she was lying through her teeth about walking away from Angel if he were to wake up and choose Nina over her. Fred had seen the lengths that Buffy had gone through just to keep Angel alive and that didn't exhibit the behavior of a woman who was ready to give up on the love of her life.

Fred hadn't known Buffy for very long but from seeing how she acted, this was clearly a woman who fought hard for whatever she wanted and Angel was obviously one of those things. Fred just hoped that Angel would wake up and choose the woman who truly adored him and in her eyes, that was a certain ex-slayer.

Another thing that had Fred convinced that Buffy wasn't going to give up on Angel was that she was toying with that cross necklace of hers while talking to the group. Fred knew that if Buffy was doing that, there was only one person in her thoughts and he was situated in the bed in the room. The ex-physicist was always one for a good love story and she couldn't wait to see how the one between Buffy and Angel turned out.

"Where are you going?" Fred asked, as she watched Buffy move across the hotel room and collect her coat and put it on.

"I have to see a man about buying a bar. Hold down the fort while I am gone." Buffy said, as she walked over to Angel's bed and gave him a kiss on the cheek and then made a swift exit out of the hotel room.

/

Sometime after leaving the hyperion, Buffy found herself at Caritas. Buffy had been hearing some rumblings through the demon grapevine that Lorne might be selling the place and she wanted to confirm the rumors. Being a P.I. wasn't really Buffy's bag and she knew that she needed something of her own once Angel woke up and wanted his business back, so Caritas was her way to potentially do that.

Upon entering the club, Buffy was met with the sounds of a Kevlar demon on stage mercilessly butchering "Love Will Lead You Back" by Taylor Dayne. Buffy immediately scrunched up her face and covered up her ears, as she made her way to the bar where Lorne was sitting and sipping on a seabreeze.

"Who the hell is that guy?" Buffy asked, as she looked at the demon on the stage and back at Lorne.

"That's Rory. Rory is a Kevlar Demon. Poor fella found out that his wife left him for a scoblani demon and now he's just belting out his pain and hurting all of us in the process with that voice of his."

"What will it be tonight, Buffy?" The bartender asked, as he walked over to Buffy at the bar.

"Martin, I will have a buttery nipple cocktail. Thank you." Buffy said, as she sat down on the stool next to Lorne.

"One buttery nipple coming up." Martin said, as he disappeared behind the bar and started to make the exotic cocktail.

"What did I do to deserve a visit from you, Buffykins?" Lorne asked sweetly and just before he took a sip of his seabreeze.

"I heard through the demon grapevine that you might be interested in selling Caritas. Is that rumor true?" Buffy asked, as Martin slid a drink to her and she began to take a sip of it.

"Why would you like to know, Buffykins? Last time I checked, you were busy keeping Sweet Pea's team together and playing crimefighter."

"Lorne, I think that I might want to buy Caritas. I can't be a P.I. forever and plus Angel is going to want his business back once he wakes up and when that happens, I will need something to fall back on." Buffy said, with the tone of her voice being serious.

"Speaking of our fella, how is he doing? Any updates?" Lorne said, woefully.

"No, he's still in the same shape." Buffy said, while staring down at her glass and tracing the rim of it with her fingers. A sad expression graced Buffy's golden features as she thought of the plight of her ex-lover.

Lorne noticed the sadness starting to appear in Buffy's eyes and placed his hand on her shoulder in an attempt to be comforting.

"How much are you looking to buy the club for?" Lorne asked, as his expression then turned serious.

"I was thinking maybe a million. I know that I can top any offer that you might currently have." Buffy replied, as she stared directly at him and leaned her arm a bit more on top of the bar.

"Buffykins, I already have several people that are looking to buy the club. Why do you think that I should sell it to you?" Lorne asked, as he gestured to the bartender to bring him another drink.

"I spent 7 years on a hellmouth and I basically managed the potentials. Oh and let's not forget how successful that I was at my job in Rome, which you only know about. Oh and let's also not forget that I am bringing Angel's business back from the ashes, so to speak. Oh and remember I can outbid anyone who has already put in an offer." Buffy said, excitedly and while wagging her finger around.

"Never ever mention your "job" in Italy as a way of persuasion. I have heard too much about it from the powers that be, honey." Lorne said, as he shook his head and looked at her pointedly.

"Lorne, I am losing my mind here. I just know that I have to get the hell out of the P.I. business and buying a bar seems like the next step." Buffy exclaimed, as she gestured to the bartender to bring her another "Buttery Nipple".

"You have too many problems for me to sell Caritas to you." Lorne said, with a deadpan expression on his face.

"What do you mean?" Buffy said, with a confused look on her face.

"Buffykins, you have a history of running away from things as Angel has told me. Plus you are an emotional mess because of what's going on with our hero and the drama that you created for yourself in Italy. Plus you pissed off a great deal of the demon world when you shut down the hellmouth. Me selling Caritas to you would be like mixing vinegar with oil." Lorne said, sharply and wringing around his hands for emphasis.

Buffy was a little shocked and taken aback by Lorne's proclamation. Buffy was well aware of the fact that she had made a series of mistakes within the last few years but she was truly determined to turn over a new leaf.

Buying Caritas in her eyes was a way to start anew and hopefully get back on the right path. All she had to do was just convince Lorne to sell the damn place to her and given how he was acting, she knew he would be a hard sell. However, she was determined to win him over and get her club.

"Okay maybe my last few years have been "interesting" but I am trying to fix things. I think that I could really make this place into something special, if given the chance." Buffy said, very expressively and while stirring her drink with a mini straw.

"Buffy, you would have to repair your relationship within the demon world before I ever even think of selling Caritas to you. Do you know how much work that would take?" Lorne passionately proclaimed, just before he took 2 of his fingers and tapped them against his forehead for emphasis.

"Lorne, I am probably saying this prematurely but I think that I can fix my standing in the demon world." Buffy said, somewhat assuredly.

"What about if Angel wakes up? You know he's probably going to want to whisk you away to Ireland and start putting little irish babies in you immediately. What are you going to do if that happens?" Lorne asked, just before he took a sip of his seabreeze.

"Lorne, I can assure you that is not going to happen. With as much shit as I have put Angel through within the last year or so, I highly doubt that he's going to wake up and want to be with me. Nina's going to have his heart." Buffy sadly murmured, as she then opened up her purse and started frantically rummaging through it to find her cigarettes.

Just the mere thought of Nina and Angel being together broke Buffy's heart and sent her into a nervous tailspin and she needed something in that moment to numb the pain that was coursing through her heart at such a prospect and soon she found what she needed.

Buffy took a pack of "MS" italian cigarettes out of her purse, pulled a single cigarette out of the pack, and then gestured to the bartender to light it for her. The bartender approached Buffy and was about to light the cigarette for her until Lorne gave him a look that told him not to do so.

Lorne placed the single cigarette out of Buffy's hand along with the pack that it came from and handed them to the bartender and told him to throw them away. Buffy was furious that Lorne had done that and she shot him metaphorical daggers from her eyes.

"Hey, that was my last pack of cigarettes!" Buffy shouted, as she watched the bartender walk away with the pack of "MS".

"Honey, I know that your heart is broken and your mind is a muddled mess right now but becoming a human chimney isn't the answer to your problems. If you want to make it to 24, ditch those cancer sticks now." Lorne wholeheartedly said, as he reached over to her and placed his hand on her shoulder.

"Great, now I am out of cigarettes. My life can't get any worse." Buffy said, as she lightly began to laugh in a sarcastic way.

Buffy had come to Caritas with the intention of being all business and making a play for Caritas but that idea soon went out of the window and she was once again reduced to being an emotional mess.

Buffy placed her face down onto the bar counter and then started to sing "You belong to me" by Carly Simon in what seemed like a muffled voice.

As Buffy clearly began to sing, Lorne was able to read her. Lorne suddenly knew why Buffy had been reaching for her cigarettes before and why she now had her beautiful face pressed up against his bar counter. Buffy had run into Nina or as Lorne liked to call her, Angel's double mega triple midlife crisis.

"Sweetheart, you are delusional. I know cupcake and the only woman who holds space in his heart is you. Nina was just a piss poor mistake that he made." Lorne said sharply, as he ran his hands over Buffy's back in an attempt to be comforting.

Buffy raised her head up from the bar and took her hands and began to dab her eyes to get rid of the small amount of tears that were beginning to seep out of them and returned to being in business mode.

"I don't want to talk about Angel or Nina or anything associated with them. I just want to know if you will sell Caritas to me." Buffy said, while regaining her composure and then taking another sip of her drink.

"Are you really serious about potentially buying this place, Buffy?" Lorne squarely asked, while truly trying to get assurance that this is what the ex-slayer wanted to do.

"Yes, I am. I know that I could do something good with it." Buffy empathetically said, as she folded up her arms and looked at him stoically.

Lorne had been ready for the better part of a year to leave Los Angeles and start over anew somewhere else and the last thing that he needed to do before that could happen was sell off Caritas.

Lorne had many buyers for his club but he knew that Buffy had to be the one that he sold Caritas to. The Powers that be had told him shortly after she arrived in town that Caritas was going to be a thing that helped Buffy get back on the right track and fix her destiny and so he HAD to sell it to her.

However even though he was given such an order by The Powers That Be, Lorne had his reservations about selling Caritas to Buffy.

Caritas was Lorne's "baby" and whereas he knew that Buffy could probably do something incredible with it, he knew that she was emotionally fragile and nowhere near in a good headspace to take over his club. Selling Caritas to Buffy in that moment would have been a nightmare not only financially but also ethically in Lorne's eyes.

Even though Lorne had his reservations about selling Caritas to Buffy, he still had a bit of a soft spot for the ex-slayer. From all of the stories that Angel had told him about her and what the powers that be shared about Buffy, she had experienced a pretty hard life for someone so young and that made him feel for her before he ever met her.

The tales that he had learned of Buffy's life in Rome from the powers that be baffled Lorne beyond reason and made him truly wonder why someone of her strength and unique caliber would stoop so low and he ultimately came to the conclusion that Buffy had gone the callgirl route due to being lost, sad, and very confused.

Lorne knew that he shouldn't even consider the thought of selling his beloved Caritas to Buffy given her behavior within the last several years and her current mental state but something inside of him was making him reconsider his position on the matter.

Lorne wasn't sure if that little tingle that was urging him to give into Buffy's offer was the powers that be or Angel's wandering spirit tapping on his shoulder but he knew that had to give in to her offer and so he did it somewhat.

"Fine, I will consider potentially selling Caritas to you. Come back to me after the new year and we will talk about it a bit more." Lorne expressed, as he bounced out of deep thought and he finished up his seabreeze.

The biggest smile appeared on Buffy's face at even the aspect of buying Caritas and she rushed to give Lorne a big hug. Lorne was taken by surprise by the hug but he welcomed the warm exchange.

"Why the new year, Lorne?" Buffy happily questioned, as she broke apart from the hug.

"Let's just say that some things might happen that will probably change your mind. Plus I want you to take a few weeks and really think this one over." Lorne proclaimed, as he got up from his barstool and started to walk toward the backroom of the club.

"Thank you, Lorne! You won't regret this." Buffy murmured, in a singsong type voice and while clasping her hands together in a prayer like position.

"Kitten, there is one last thing that you should know before I leave you." Lorne inquired, while he abruptly stopped walking to the back.

"What is it?"

"Nina is a vengeful little rabbit. Don't take what she said to heart. When Angel went down in that alley, his last thoughts were of you and Connor. YOU were what mattered at the end, not Nina." Lorne said, matter of factly and while looking at Buffy square in her eyes to drive his point home.

Buffy felt her whole being suddenly metaphorically light up at the confirmation that Angel was thinking of her in that alley and that maybe he didn't hate her in what seemed to be his last coherent moments on earth before he lapsed into the coma.

"Hey, Lorne. I am going to have a holiday party later on today at the hotel. You are more than welcome to come." Buffy shouted toward Lorne, as she saw him about to turn the corner and go to the backroom.

"Wouldn't miss it for the world, sweetheart." Lorne said sweetly, and then disappeared out of sight.

/

After Buffy left Caritas, she decided to hit the mall for some retail therapy. Christmas was only in a few short weeks and she had barely brought anything for herself or the A.I. team or Dawn or Willow and that problem needed to be rectified quickly. Plus she was in such good spirits after her talk with Lorne that she felt a mini shopping spree was in order.

In a few short weeks, she was going to start transitioning out of the P.I. business and would become the owner of a new nightclub. The thought of buying Caritas and making it into something that was truly her own made Buffy extremely happy. Buffy had so many plans in mind for what she wanted to do with Caritas and she couldn't wait to execute them. Owning a nightclub wasn't going to be easy but Buffy knew in her heart that it would be worth it.

As she was walking out of the mall and into the parking lot of the Beverly Center, she heard her cellphone ring and immediately put her bags down on the ground and reached into her purse to retrieve her phone. The name on the caller ID said "Winifred Burkle'' and Buffy immediately answered it.

"Hey, Fred. What's going on." Buffy said, as she pressed her cellphone up against her ear and started to place her shopping bags into the car trunk.

"Buffy, I don't know how to tell you this but something happened to Angel." Fred said, while sounding very panicked.

"What do you mean that something happened to Angel?" Buffy angrily shouted, while suddenly getting very nervous and frantically running her hands through her hair.

In that moment, every possible bad scenario that could have happened to Angel ran through Buffy's brain. Buffy was trembling with fear in that parking lot at the possible thought that the inevitable had finally happened to Angel and the notion of such a thing scared the hell out of her.

Buffy immediately closed her car trunk and climbed into the driver's seat of the car and continued the conversation.

"I can't tell you very much over the phone but you need to come to the UCLA medical center quickly." Fred replied, while trying to keep Buffy as calm as possible.

"Yes, I will shoot right over there now. Bye." Buffy murmured, just before she closed up the phone and put her keys into the ignition.

"Bye." Fred murmured, ending the call.

The moment that the call ended, Buffy drove like a bat out of hell out of that parking lot and made her toward the hospital.

/

Sometime later, Buffy found herself in the parking lot of UCLA medical center. Buffy sat in the car for a few seconds before going into the hospital just silently sobbing and secretly praying to whoever was out there in the universe that Angel was okay and that things would be fine.

Plus she knew that as the de facto leader of the A.I. team, she could not walk into that hospital and allow the people that Angel considered to be his family to see her as an blithering emotional mess.

Buffy knew that if she walked into that hospital and a doctor had indeed told her that Angel was dead, someone would have to be the moral fiber that kept the team from completely imploding and so she sat in the car trying to emotionally prepare to do that and also to prepare herself for the very real possibility that Angel was dead.

Once she felt as though she was no longer a babbling mess and could possibly handle what news might be coming, Buffy got out of the car and hurriedly made her way inside of the hospital and even found the crew in the waiting area of the emergency room.

Upon witnessing Buffy enter the corridor, the group stood up from their prospective chairs and greeted her.

Fred was the first one to step forward, ultimately pulling Buffy into a hug. Fred was sobbing uncontrollably and Buffy just held her for a few seconds, while reassuring her that things were fine.

Gunn walked out of the waiting room angrily throwing his hands in the air immediately after Buffy walked into it because he was very distraught and needed some air and did NOT want to be the one to tell her about the state of Angel's condition.

Wesley was a little more stoic in his approach than the others in his group. Wesley just ran his hands over his eyes and gave Buffy a daring look when she walked into the waiting room, which told her volumes about the situation.

"What the hell happened to Angel? What's wrong with him?" A very frightened Buffy asked Wesley, as she broke apart from Fred's hug.

Fred and Wesley gave each other a questionable look and then Fred gestured to Buffy to sit down and then began to explain the situation to her.

"I know what you are thinking and he is not dead, Buffy. Angel is stable." Fred quickly assured her, as she placed Buffy's hands on top of hers and looked her squarely in the eyes.

"What happened?" Buffy loudly and angrily reiterated, as she peered over at Wesley.

"Angel had a massive heart attack." Wesley interrupted, as he sat down next to the ladies.

"No, Angel couldn't have had a heart attack. That's not possible. I was just around him a few hours ago and things were normal." Buffy stammered, while shaking her head violently.

Buffy couldn't believe what Wesley was saying and it seemed as though his words were not truly registering in her mind. Buffy knew that Angel was sick but she saw that he was making some progress albeit little progress and so the thought of a heart attack in that regard seemed a bit foreign to her.

"One of us went upstairs to check on Angel sometime after you left for Caritas and he just started convulsing and then his heart rate decelerated on the life support machines and we brought him to the hospital." Fred said, dejectedly and while trying to wipe her eyes.

In the midst of the conversation, Gunn had come back into the waiting room with some coffees and handed them to Wesley, Fred, and Buffy. Gunn then went to sit down next to Fred, who was really shook up. Gunn took Fred's hand into his and she put her head on his shoulder and started to calm down.

"Well, have there been any updates from the doctor?" Buffy outwardly asked Wesley, while nervously running her hands through her hair and toying with her cross necklace.

"It's bad, Buffy. It's really bad this time. The doctors almost were not able to bring him back this time. There's a lot of damage to his heart." Wesley said, sadly.

The tone of Wesley's voice when he mentioned Angel's condition was low and frightening and had a shocking degree of finality encased within them. Buffy replayed his words several times in her mind and each time it seemed like a ton of metaphorical bricks had hit her. The reality that Angel might really be at death's door this time around was too much for Buffy to take and she just couldn't accept it. Her heart couldn't accept it.

"No, you are wrong. I want to hear what actually happened from a doctor." Buffy loudly reiterated, as she started to cry again and then gave Wesley an angry glare that basically told him to stop talking.

"Here is one." Gunn interjected, as he saw what appeared to be a doctor about to walk into the waiting area.

"Are you Mrs. O'Flannery?" The doctor asked, as he stepped forward and approached Buffy.

"Yes. Is Angel going to be okay?" Buffy asked, while folding her arms and having a look of deep concern suddenly appear on her face.

"Liam suffered a massive heart attack. The damage to your husband's heart is extensive and it actually is beginning to compromise several of his organs. We were able to resuscitate him but he coded at least several times." The doctor haphazardly stated.

As the doctor was talking to her, Buffy placed her hand over her mouth and began to sob. Buffy felt as though her own heart was being ripped out as she further learned of Angel's current medical predicament.

"What does "coded" even mean?" Buffy inquired, while being visibly confused by the medical term.

"Buffy….it means he died at least several times." Wesley reluctantly stated.

"No!" Buffy shouted.

"Liam is stable for now but if he doesn't come out of the coma soon, he is going to die." The doctor continued.

"Why?" Buffy questioned.

"Because his body is beginning to shut down. The fact that he is still in the coma after so much time is actually doing more harm to your husband's body than good." The doctor exclaimed.

"What are my options here?" Buffy asked, while sitting back down in the waiting room.

"If you continue to keep him on the life support machines, you will be prolonging his life for perhaps a few more months or perhaps even days. Given the severity of Angel's condition, he doesn't have long to live. I think that you should consider talking it over with his family about the possibility of ending his life support soon and allowing him to pass away peacefully." The doctor replied.

"Me and Will are trying to find a cure for Angel. Its taking a bit of time but I know that we are close to waking him up, I just need a little bit more time." Buffy quickly stated to the doctor and to the group.

"Buffy, there isn't much time left." Wesley explained.

"Wesley, this is Angel that we are talking about. I am not going to kill him. I won't cut off the machines. We just have to do more to bring him back." Buffy empathetically said.

"Did you not just hear what the doctor said? There is no more time. You have to make a choice right now." Wesley reiterated, while starting to get mad at Buffy's refusal to face facts.

"I am going to keep him on the machines for as long as possible. I am going to give Angel every chance to live." Buffy said, while repeating her position again on the matter.

"I will never understand why the hell Angel even put you in his will. You were only married in name only. You weren't even around the last few years to know what he was going through emotionally much less what he would have wanted done medically." Wesley said, while throwing his hands in the air and shooting Buffy an angry glare.

Fred could see that an argument was about to arise between Wesley and Buffy and that it would probably be the one that was going to land Wesley right in the hospital next to Angel, so she quickly put a mild kibosh on it by talking to the doctor.

"Can we see Angel?" Fred interrupted and asked the doctor.

"Yes, you can but only 2 visitors at the time." The doctor replied, just before he exited the waiting room.

Once the doctor left the waiting room, Buffy continued her argument with Wesley much to Gunn and Fred's dismay.

"Angel put me in charge of everything because he was smart enough to know that I could handle it. I am so fucking sick of your attitude. I don't care if you are mad that Angel didn't leave you barely anything in his will. Clearly that is an issue that you need to take up with him when he wakes up." Buffy said inherently, as she walked right up to Wesley and got right in his face.

Gunn and Fred could see that there was going to be a fight this time around and quickly stepped in between Buffy and Wesley. Wesley lightly pushed Fred out of the way and stared into Buffy's eyes and gave her some home truths that he felt that she needed to hear.

"I am so tired of everyone handling you with kid gloves. Angel is NOT going to wake up. Angel is quite possibly brain dead. You only want to keep him alive because you are holding onto this stupid fantasy that he's going to wake up and say all is forgiven for how you acted toward him during the last year. Newsflash, that is NOT going to happen."

Buffy was beginning to fume at this point and she was literally fighting the urge to knock Wesley into a wall. Buffy was secretly praying for strength to remain in control of her faculties because Wesley was inadvertently begging to get his ass kicked with the words that he was spewing out of his mouth.

"You guys are in a hospital, stop fighting." Gunn yelled, as he stepped between the ex-slayer and the former watcher.

"Please stop fighting. Do you think that this is what Angel would want? For the both of you to be arguing like idiots while he is in there fighting for his life?" Fred screamed, as she looked at Buffy and then at Wesley.

"Fred, you are absolutely right. This is the worst place for us to be doing this. I am sorry, " Buffy apologized.

Buffy was well aware of the fact that she was making an embarrassing spectacle of herself there in the hospital and that's why she apologized to Fred, not because she wanted to make nice with Wesley. Honestly, Wesley could have fucked off in that moment for all she cared.

As for Wesley, he was beyond tired of Buffy and her blatant need to downplay the severity of Angel's condition over the last 6 months. Wesley had tried multiple times over the course of the last several months to put up a proverbial "white flag" with her and she steadily gave him reasons not to continue doing so.

Hell, the mere fact that a doctor just told Buffy how extremely dire that Angel's condition had become and she was still acting as though an 11th miracle could save him was baffling to Wesley and he considered that to be his last straw with her.

"You are not in a position to look at things for what they are. You don't have the capacity to make medical decisions for Angel without placing emotions into them. For the love of god, go back to Italy already." Wesley screamed, while becoming very irritated and just throwing his hands up in the air.

"I love Angel more than I have ever loved anymore in my life. I am not going to go anywhere just because you want me to. I don't give a fuck what you want. Everything that I have done in the last 6 months is because of my love for Angel." Buffy snapped,with tears beginning to glisten in her eyes.

Gunn could see that Wesley was becoming further enraged and even though he knew that Wesley would not hit Buffy, he still stepped between Wesley and Buffy again to avoid a possible fight.

Wesley gave Gunn a look that told him to stand down. Buffy gave Gunn a look that told him that she was okay and could handle Wesley. Fred just looked at all of them and shook her head.

"If you gave a damn about him, you wouldn't have run to the other side of the globe and opened up your legs to most of Europe. If you truly gave a damn about Angel, you would have been in that alley with the rest of us when this mess started. Buffy, you are only here for your own self-interest. You want Angel to be alive for you and you don't care about who or what he might want." Wesley muttered, as he continued his verbal assault on Buffy.

Buffy thought that she could handle Wesley but he went too far by mentioning what he thought that she was doing in Rome and also by discounting her love for Angel and that's when something went off in her and she punched him square in the face, ultimately knocking him flat on his ass on the other side of the waiting room.

Immediately upon impact, Fred immediately rushed to Wesley's side to help him up. Gunn thought for a second about helping Wesley up but decided against it. In Gunn's eyes, Wesley needed to be knocked out for how he was acting toward Buffy. Gunn just wished that Buffy had hit the idiot harder.

"Fuck you, Wesley. You are an asshole." Buffy said, with her voice almost cracking and while shaking her now somewhat bruised fist.

"What kind of life is he going to have? His organs are going to start shutting down soon. If he is somehow able to come out of this, he is going to be a vegetable." Wesley yelled, as he rubbed his now somewhat bloody jaw.

"Angel is not going to be a vegetable. The doctor from Argentina said that the swelling on his brain has gone down tremendously and so when Angel wakes up, he WILL be fine. We just need a little more time to figure out how to get him out of the coma." Buffy said, while looking down at Wesley and nervously scratching her head.

"If Rupert were here, he would be able to talk some sense into you about all this." Wesley said, harshly and while getting off the ground with Fred's assistance.

At the mere mention of Giles, Buffy looked at Wesley like he was the biggest dumbass in the world and ran her hands over her face and started to laugh at him in a condescending way.

"Giles is one of the reasons why Angel ended up in this coma, so I highly doubt that he would be itching to help find a way to get him out of it." Buffy said, sarcastically and as she wrung her one good non-bruised non hand around.

Gunn and Fred decided that they were tired of watching the shouting match between Buffy and Wesley and left the waiting room and headed down the hall to Angel's hospital room.

"For once, can you please stop thinking with your heart and start thinking with your head? Angel is suffering and if you still gave a damn about him as you say that you do, you would let him have peace." Wesley said, exasperatingly and as he continued his verbal assault.

Wesley was so mad at Buffy by this point that he was sure that a vein was going to burst out of his head with all the yelling that he was doing but he had to get his point across to her. It was time for her to see things for what they were and not what she wanted them to be.

An 11th hour miracle wasn't going to come along and heal Angel like she wanted to see happen. Angel's condition had deteriorated to the point where he was truly on the verge and decisions had to be made in that regard and in Wesley's eyes, he needed Buffy to get out of LA-LA-LA and make them.

Buffy was really beginning to lose her patience with Wesley and it was quickly becoming clear that he was just trying to aggravate her on purpose. Buffy contemplated punching him again but then she remembered that she was in a hospital and would spend a night in the county jail if she did that, so she just counted to 10 in Italian in her head repeatedly until she had fully calmed down.

"I have thought with my head everyday for the last 6 months. If I was thinking with my heart, I would have cut off his machines the day that I got to L.A. There is no way in hell that I want Angel to suffer but I am not going to kill him and destroy his chance at enjoying his humanity. Do you know how long he fought to become human? I can't take that from him." Buffy wryly said, just before she started to walk to the front door of the waiting room.

"If you really do still love Angel, let him go. Everyone has done all they can for him. Angel is not coming out of this coma. Do what you know in your heart is best for him." Wesley irately said, in one last attempt to hopefully reason with Buffy.

"I need time to think. I need some air." Buffy angrily exclaimed, right as she walked out of the waiting room.

/

Once Buffy exited the waiting room, she walked outside to sit down on a bench that was situated right next to the hospital in a park-like area to catch her breath and try to collect her thoughts.

The moment after Buffy sat down, she just placed her head down near her knees and began to cry. Between Wesley's brutal verbal assault on her and what the doctor had told her about the nature of Angel's most recent medical setback, she was a complete mess and had no idea how to deal with the newest card that she had been dealt.

Angel was far sicker this time around than before and it seemed as though his time was truly limited now and just the realization of his current condition and the thought of the possibility of the finality of his predicament was just too much for Buffy to handle.

Buffy felt as though she couldn't metaphorically breathe and it seemed as though her heart was going to physically break when it truly began to hit her of just how sick that Angel had become.

An image appeared in her mind of the last time that he saw her in Rome and how hurt he was at her actions toward him and she sobbed even harder when she realized that was probably the last time that she would ever see him alive.

As she sat on that bench and looked up at the sky with tears glistening in her eyes and a somewhat despondent expression on her face, she realized that Wesley was right about her not being strong enough to let Angel go.

The decision to end Angel's life support was going to be the hardest thing that she ever had to do after saying goodbye to her mother and there was no way in hell that she could do it. If she had been able to do it, it would have been done months prior.

Buffy thought back to what the doctor said about the state of Angel's condition and his words were tearing her soul apart everytime that she replayed them in her head.

The consensus of what the doctor told her was basically that Angel was on his last legs and holding on for dear life and that essentially only a literal miracle could fix him and hearing all of that felt like pure torture to Buffy.

Buffy closed her eyes and clutched her cross necklace tightly and then held it close to her heart, while secretly hoping that maybe perhaps a last minute miracle would actually come along that could save Angel.

Buffy was having an internal battle on what to do next about Angel's condition. No decision was going to be a good one and just like she didn't want to be the one to decide his fate months ago, she definitely did not want to do it now or really ever.

Buffy had been fighting hard for months to keep Angel alive in order to give him every opportunity to be able to enjoy the blessing that was his shanshu but she knew in her heart that she was losing the battle.

Angel's condition had rapidly deteriorated in such a short span of time due to the heart attack and as much as she was trying to ignore the severity of it in order to not become more of an emotional trainwreck, she knew in her head that he wasn't going to get any better this time without a miracle.

The real reality of Angel's predicament was very simple, he was on the real edge of death this time around and nothing was going to be able to change that. Buffy might have known that in her head but she wasn't fully ready to accept it in her heart.

Even though things were horrible and it seemed as though the odds were really against him when it came to awakening from the coma, Buffy knew that she just couldn't completely give up hope that Angel would get out of it.

Buffy didn't care about some dire prognosis that a random doctor was giving her about Angel's condition. Buffy knew Angel and she knew he was strong and that he was fighting like hell to awaken from that damn coma. It was just that he needed a little more time to do that and time seemed as though it was running out for him.

The pressure of potentially having to cut Angel's life support off hit Buffy hard and she wished in that moment on that bench for anything that could numb the pain that was coursing through her being at even the thought of doing such a thing to him. It didn't matter if it was a drink or something else that could give her a temporary reprieve from the sadness that she was currently experiencing, she just wanted it at that moment.

Buffy looked over at her purse on the bench and wondered if she had something like a little mini liquor bottle in it but decided against searching through her purse for it. She needed a drink badly at that second but she knew logically it wasn't the right time for it. She figured that certain decisions would probably need to be made soon on Angel's behalf and she wanted to be cold sober when making them.

As she was sitting on the bench deep in thought and pondering what to do next about Angel's predicament, she suddenly heard the sound of what seemed to be laughter. Buffy didn't pay much attention to the laughter until it got much louder and was clearly coming closer to where she was sitting in the park.

Buffy craned her neck over to see where the laughing was coming from and found herself glancing at a little boy that was giggling and running around while bouncing a little pink ball. The little boy couldn't have been more than around 4 years old with chestnut hair and big brown eyes and he seemed to be playing in the park, completely carefree.

For a tiny second when watching the child in the park, Buffy allowed herself to foolishly daydream about what a child with Angel might look like. Buffy had tried to push the idea of children out of her mind in recent years due to the many unconventional paths that she had taken in life but she still thought about having children ever so often.

Buffy always figured that if she and Angel did somehow manage to have a little boy, that they might name him Donovan Ian. Donovan Ian was the name of Angel's grandfather and he had spent many nights in Sunnydale ranting and raving about him to Buffy and she would have been happy to name her son after the kind hearted but long deceased elderly irishman.

In her fantasies, Buffy always envisioned that her hypothetical little boy might look a little bit similar to the boy that was playing in the park. Buffy thought that her little boy might have her smile and Angel's chocolate eyes and her natural dark hair. Buffy also thought that her little boy might have inherited Angel's snarkiness but also had a heart of gold just like his mama.

Buffy smiled a sad smile as she imagined Angel standing by her side in the delivery room shortly after she gave birth to their baby boy. The image of Angel holding their newborn son with nothing but love in his eyes ripped at her heartstrings immeasurably. In her soul, she knew that seeing Angel become a father would be something special and she wanted that for him wholeheartedly.

Buffy shook her head and immediately pushed her fantasy of a family with Angel out of her head because she knew that it was silly to dream about something that barely stood a chance in hell of happening, especially given his medical predicament.

Plus even if Angel did somehow manage to miraculously wake up, she knew that there was no real guarantee that he would want to reunite with her due to their 11 million unresolved issues and so she safely locked her fantasy way back into the excesses of her mind.

As she bounced out of her reverie and continued to stare at the cute little boy who was bouncing his ball around in the park, a thought of sorts entered her mind. It suddenly dawned on Buffy who she needed to speak to in order to make a real decision on whether or not to continue Angel's life support. It was just that she had no idea how to find this person and even if she were able to find this person, she had no idea if he would even speak to her much less want to help her.

/

After sitting in the park for a while to try and clear her head and ultimately also figure out how to go forward with everything regarding Angel's life support situation, Buffy walked back into the hospital and made her way toward Angel's hospital room.

When she entered the hospital room, Buffy was met with the sounds of life support machines beeping loudly and the sight of a still very comatose Angel situated in a hospital bed with more "wires" hanging out of him than when he was at the hotel. The other thing that Buffy spotted in the room was a very distraught Fred who was sitting right next to Angel's hospital bed, gently caressing his hand and silently praying.

"Has there been any sort of an update?" Buffy asked, as she walked over to where Fred was situated and placed a hand on her shoulder.

"No, the nurses keep coming in here every 20 to 30 minutes to check his vitals and his progress in general. It's still the same." Fred morosely stated, as she stopped praying and looked up at Buffy.

"Here, I brought this for you." Buffy said, as she handed Fred a small cup of coffee and then went to sit down in one of the chairs that was next to the hospital bed.

"Thank you." Fred said, just as she took the coffee and began to drink it.

"Where is my british nightmare and Gunn?" Buffy said curtly.

"Gunn had to check on something for the Christmas party and Wesley went to go talk to Honest Abe about something." Fred replied.

"I bet that Wesley's probably trying to find some way to stop me from making Angel's medical decisions. I swear that man is really getting on my nerves, Fred." Buffy retorted, as she leaned back in her chair and then rolled her eyes.

"When are the both of you going to learn that none of this is about you or your petty squabbling? Angel is sick and he might potentially die soon. Can you both please finally bury this silly feud once and for all?" Fred inherently stated, while pointedly looking at Buffy.

"Fred-"

"No, don't Fred me." Fred hoarsely said, while waving a hand at her dismissively. "This is really serious and the both of you are acting like kids. Sometimes the both of you are civil toward each other and other days you want to kill each other. This is NOT what Angel would want at all." Fred continued.

There were a few moments of awkward silence after Fred had made her recent position on the feud between Buffy and Wesley known. Buffy hadn't intended to keep the feud between herself and Wesley going for months but everytime that she attempted to squash the beef between them, something always managed to revive it.

Buffy knew in her heart that Fred was right, the feud between her and Wesley HAD to end once and for all. Angel was very sick and he was on the verge of truly dying this time around and the last thing that he needed was for the people that loved him to be acting like assholes in what seemed to be his final days.

"I never read him poetry." Buffy softly said, as she ran her rolled up fist down Angel's cheekbone and wiped a tear from her eye with her other hand.

"What?" Fred said, while a little confused.

"I just realized that I never read Angel poetry when it came to attempting to get him out of this coma. I have read books to him and played music but I never read poetry to him. Angel doesn't like a lot of people to know this but he loves poetry books like ones from Elizabeth Barrett Browning and Baudelaire." Buffy tearfully stated, as she continued to lovingly run her fist down the side of Angel's face.

"Oh Buffy, I am so sorry." Fred somberly said, as she covered her mouth with her hand.

"I guess it is not going to matter very soon what we do because he's dying, right?" Buffy asked, as she ran a hand through her hair and tears began to really stream down her face.

"Buffy-"

"Fred, I don't know what to do in this situation. I am not anywhere near prepared emotionally to cut off Angel's life support and the thought of having him waver for the next few days or even months in pain would destroy me. I need help figuring out what to do next about everything." Buffy said anxiously, as she began to get up from her seat and then started to pace back and forth in the hospital room.

"Buffy, what are you talking about?" Fred asked, while scratching her head.

"I think that we should try and find Connor." Buffy replied, while stopping her pacing to answer her and looking at Fred directly.

"Why would you want to do that?" Fred said, while being openly surprised at such a suggestion.

"Because Angel loved Connor as though he was his own son and he needs to be here. Maybe if Connor is here, he can help me figure out what to do next." Buffy exclaimed, while lightly hitting the middle of the inside of her hand for emphasis.

"Connor has never been the most level headed person, Buffy. Plus I wouldn't trust him to make any decisions, especially not medical ones." Fred answered squirrely, with a deadpan expression on her face.

"I understand that Connor might not have had the best relationship with Angel but he adopted him and loved him. It's not right that Connor isn't here for all of this." Buffy stated, while sitting down on the tail end of Angel's hospital bed.

"Their relationship was contentious to say the least, Buffy. It's almost a good thing that Connor isn't here to see this." Fred retorted, just before she took a sip of her coffee.

Fred was well aware of the fact that Connor had basically been given a spanking new life courtesy of Angel and Wolfram and Hart but for some reason, she still didn't trust him.

Fred had always attempted to be someone who saw nothing but the good in people but Connor to her was evil and she would have bet money that his evil ways hadn't completely gone away simply because of his so-called newfound personality change.

Fred had deeply contemplated finding Connor when Angel originally lapsed into his coma but she knew their history and in knowing their history, she figured that his involvement in Angel's medical predicament might potentially do more harm than good.

Fred knew in her heart that Buffy's intention to find Connor was coming from a place of love for Angel but she also knew that Buffy was asking for more than she could handle by dealing with Connor and that's why she knew that she had to talk her out of such a silly idea.

"I wish that one of you would tell me exactly why the relationship between Angel and Connor was so contentious but everyone is so damn cryptic when it comes to Connor." Buffy stressed, while folding her arms and giving Fred a pointed glare.

"Buffy, the relationship between Connor and Angel is not ours to tell you. That truth has to come from Angel." Fred adamantly stated, while craning her head over to look at one of Angel's monitors.

"I am so tired of hearing that from you and Gunn and Wesley. What is this big secret that you are not telling me about Connor? Angel isn't not going to tell me and probably won't ever get a chance to tell me, so why can't I hear it from you?" Buffy said, while wringing her hands around.

"Because I am not going to be the one to break your heart. Angel never told you the truth about Connor because he knew that it would break your heart. There are things that are being kept from you because nobody wants to hurt you. We all know that you are going through hell and none of us want to make that even worse." Fred said earnestly, as she took a hold of Buffy's hand and looked at her square in the eyes.

"Fred-"

"Connor is a wildcard. You don't know what you are asking for by trying to find him. I know that you are desperate to figure out what to do next when it comes to Angel but finding Connor is not the answer." Fred uttered, adamantly.

"Fred, shamans haven't worked and everything that Will has done hasn't worked and the doctors don't exactly know how to help Angel and now you are telling me that bringing Connor isn't a good way to figure out this mess. What the hell is the answer to help Angel? Because I don't really know anymore." Buffy loudly bellowed.

"Have you ever considered what Angel might want in regards to this?" Fred asked, intently. "I mean I know that he didn't leave any sort of medical directive in the event that something like this coma happened but have you really thought about what he might want in this situation." Fred continued.

"I am not as stupid as Wesley thinks, Fred. I know that Angel wouldn't want to be lingering in this coma like he's been doing for months." Buffy shrieked, as she placed her hand over her heart and looked over at Angel. "However I can't let him go, especially not when there's still a glimmer of a chance that he could wake up from this." Buffy continued.

Buffy wiped her eyes with her thumbs and then ran her hands down her arms and walked over to a hospital window and stared out into it.

"Anyone with 2 working eyeballs can see how much you still love Angel. Hell, everything that you have tried to do for him in the last several months is indicative of that love. All of us love him just like you do but honey, he's gone. I know that you are holding to faith for a different outcome but he's not going to wake up. You have to find it in your heart to let him go and let him have some peace." Fred said earnestly and with her voice sounding as though it was beginning to crack.

"Fred, he's human and he deserves a chance to enjoy that. I am not ready to take something away from him that he fought so hard to get, especially when I know he could still wake up. I just have to figure out some last way to bring him out of this." Buffy empathetically said, while quickly turning around to face Fred.

"I love your determination to keep him alive and I know that all of this is killing you on the inside but you gotta look at his situation from all angles. The Angel that we love and care about is gone and what's left of him is a shell." Fred sternly said, while hoping that maybe she could get through to Buffy.

"Fred, you are the last person that should lose hope. I have heard the stories about you as Illyria. Everyone thought that you were going to be Illyria forever and then you came back and here you are." Buffy loudly fired back, before grabbing a kleenex from her purse to wipe her tears because she was beginning to cry again.

"Buffy, I wasn't in an irreversible coma. I was in a magical shell. It is not the same thing, sweetie." Fred retorted, while a disheartening look appeared on her face.

"But you came back, right?" Buffy softly questioned, while placing her hands in a prayer-like position and lowering them near her chin.

"Yes, I am proof that miracles can happen but-"

"No buts, Fred. I can't let him die. I know that if I was in his position, there's no way in hell that he wouldn't be fighting for me like I am trying to do for him." Buffy said adamantly, and before walking over to where Angel was situated and leaning over his hospital bed to give him a peck on the cheek.

"I can see why he loved you so much. You are determined to not give up on him even when everything and everyone is telling you that you should, that's beautiful and commendable and it shows just how much you really love him.." Fred said sweetly, as she walked over to where Buffy was standing and placed a hand on her shoulder.

"Fred, Angel is stronger than we know and I know he's fighting like hell to come back to us. I just need a chance to be able to give him that." Buffy said, semi despondently and while lovingly and absent mindedly tracing circles on Angel's bare chest.

A sad smile appeared on Fred's face as she was watching the exchange between Buffy and a very comatose Angel play out in front of her. From the way that Buffy looked at Angel to the way that she was lovingly caressing his hands, it was indicative of a woman who was still deeply in love with her ex-partner despite the tragic circumstances of their relationship.

It never ceased to amaze Fred just how unbelievably devoted that Buffy was to Angel, despite their relationship or rather their lack of a relationship being one that was severely fragmented and fraught with problems.

From the moment that Buffy walked into the hyperion 6 months prior, she had devoted herself completely to taking over Angel's care and also to building his business back up and Fred found those actions to be extremely commendable, especially since she was still so young and had a life of her own back in Italy.

Fred was worried immensely for Buffy. Buffy might have put up a tough front but Fred knew she was emotionally fragile and not in a position to make such a difficult decision as potentially ending Angel's life support or else she would have done it months ago.

Fred knew that time was of the essence for Angel and a decision needed to be made soon about his fate and as much as she hated to admit it, Buffy was right about bringing in Connor and having him help figure out what comes next concerning the coma.

Fred did NOT want to bring Connor into the situation but given the complexity of the situation and Buffy's reluctance to make a solid decision about the coma, she really didn't see another alternative. Plus even though she was aware that he was a complete wildcard, Fred knew in her heart that Connor deserved to know that his father was not only sick but was also close to potentially departing Earth.

"I have no idea how I am going to find him since it seems though he disappeared off the planet but I will work on finding Connor for you cause you asked me to. There is no way in hell that you should be making this decision by yourself, Buffy." Fred reluctantly stated, as she bounced out of her reverie and looked at Buffy square in her eyes.

"Thank you so much, Fred." Buffy replied, as she sat up from where she was sitting on the bed and walked over to where Fred was situated and pulled her into a hug.

"Me and Gunn and even Wesley are here for you and we will support whatever decision that you make about Angel going forward. We are all a family now and you are not alone in this situation, honey. We got your back on this one." Fred adamantly stated, while breaking apart from the hug and then giving her a small smile.

Seconds after that happened, A nurse walked into the room and started the process of changing Angel's IV.

"Fred, I think that I am going to go. It's been truly a long day and I think that I am going to go back to the hotel and try to get some sleep." Buffy said, as she walked over to where she was previously sitting and started to collect her coat and her purse.

"I think that I am going to go too. I want to go get some Christmas shopping done before the stores get too packed." Fred replied, as she began to gather her bearings as well and then walked to the hospital room door.

"I love you, my sweet Angel." Buffy sweetly said, as she walked over to where Angel was situated and leaned over him and softly grabbed his chin and then gave him a warm kiss on his left cheek. The action caused Angel's heart rate to mildly spike on his life support machines and Buffy couldn't help but smile at that.

Fred walked over to Buffy and placed her arm in with her arm and then gave her a smile and then they both walked out of the hospital room together.

/

After Buffy and Fred parted ways and she had driven back to the hyperion, Buffy immediately ran upstairs and climbed into bed and tried to go right to sleep. However the events of the day weighed heavily on her mind and instead of drifting off to dreamland as she had hoped to do, Buffy just laid awake in bed looking at the ceiling for most of the night.

The decision to keep Angel on life support or disconnect it seemed to be consuming most of Buffy's thoughts and that made any thought of rest seem remote.

No decision was going to be a good decision when it came to dealing with Angel's coma in Buffy's opinion. Buffy pondered both outcomes of the coma that night ad nauseam.

Buffy knew that if she had allowed the life support to continue, Angel's body would begin to further deteriorate but he would have the opportunity to potentially live for several more months or even potentially weeks in spite of it. The downside of that decision was that Buffy figured might be in a great deal of pain than what she was sure that he was currently experiencing and that's the last thing that she wanted for him.

The upside of that decision would be that Willow would have more time to craft another spell to awaken him from the coma.

The other option would be to listen to what everyone was telling her to do(including the doctors) and that was to discontinue Angel's life support and let him pass away peacefully. The mere thought of essentially ending his life was metaphorically tearing Buffy to shreds and she seriously felt as though she would be betraying him by doing such a thing.

Buffy had truly wanted so badly for the last 6 months to give Angel a chance but she knew deep down inside of her that the heart attack had changed everything and that it had done more irrevocable damage to his body than anyone could have ever imagined and that time was now of the essence how to handle his medical predicament..

Buffy had really hated that Angel had basically entrusted her with such a decision as the one to potentially end his life or not. Buffy knew that she couldn't make that decision by herself, no matter how much everyone was telling to do it. In her heart, Buffy was secretly hoping that Fred would be able to find Connor for her and then they could make the decision together.

Buffy didn't care about any bad blood or any possible disagreements that Connor might have had with Angel. In her eyes, Connor was his adopted son and therefore he was family and he had every right to confer about Angel's medical treatment as she did.

Plus she wanted him involved in the fold because she felt as though Connor had the right to know that his father was about to potentially pass away and she wasn't going to deny him of that knowledge. Buffy hadn't had the chance to say goodbye to Joyce and she was not about to let Connor go through the same thing.

As she continued to lay there in bed with a million thoughts running through her head all at once, Buffy contemplated for a few seconds about the possibility that Fred wouldn't be able to find Connor. The thought horrified Buffy because she knew that if that were the case, she would have to make one of the hardest decisions that she had ever made in her life completely by herself and thinking of such a thing filled her with absolute dread.

However she knew that if push came to shove, she would try to find the strength within herself to do what was ultimately best for Angel. Buffy knew that wherever Angel was, he needed her to be strong and make an informed decision about his health and regardless of what others wanted done about it, she planned to do just that.

Eventually Buffy was able to pull herself out of the mental quagmire that she had sunk somewhat deep into and managed to drift off to sleep.

/

12 hours later

The annoying sound of an alarm clock loudly blaring throughout Buffy's hotel room at the hyperion harshly awoke the ex-slayer from the little bit of slumber that she had managed to ascertain after the restless night that she had.

Buffy, who was irritable at the lack of sleep that she had gotten, reluctantly climbed out of bed and walked over to the nightstand on the other side of the bed where the alarm clock was situated and then cut it off by slamming it down with her hand.

Once that annoying task was over, Buffy crawled right back into bed and pulled back her blankets up on top of her body and then looked despondently at the ceiling as if she was somehow staring into some deep dark metaphorical abyss.

The decision of whether or not to discontinue Angel's life support was still somehow weighing deeply on her heart, even after endlessly weighing each decision that she could possibly make regarding that situation constantly throughout the previous night.

As she lay there in bed looking at the popcorn void that was directly above her and feeling as though her soul was somewhat being metaphorically crushed, Buffy finally realized what had to be done once and for all about Angel's predicament. The decision that she had made in her mind was one that she knew morally was best for him, even if it was one that she might regret making for the rest of her life.

After several minutes of essentially fighting the urge to stay in bed for the day and basically getting tired of staring at the wall, Buffy wound up rolling the covers off of herself and climbing out of bed and then grabbing her cigarettes from off of the nearby nightstand and then walking onto the balcony.

Once she was out onto the balcony, Buffy just stood there for several minutes watching the city come alive while smoking one of her Marlboro lights. As she stood there taking puffs off of her cigarette, tears began to slowly trickle down her face and a deep emotional pain managed to quickly encompass her entire being.

Thoughts of the brief time that she had with Angel mixed with the decision that she had made regarding his health were too much for her to handle and that caused her to fall down onto her knees there on the balcony and place her down into her hands and sob uncontrollably.

After about several minutes of crying and letting out the hurt that had been enveloping her since she woke up that December morning, Buffy ran her hand over her eyes and scooched her body back toward the bottom wall of the balcony and then let out a small scream and then tangled her hands through her hair.

Buffy then pulled her knees up to her chest and stared out at the sun as it was truly beginning to come up over the horizon and radiate through her beloved home city. She really thought that the sun was so beautiful that morning and that it shone so brightly throughout the L.A. skyline and as she was witnessing it, a deep sadness managed to overcome Buffy because she knew that Angel would never be able to see it firsthand with her.

From the moment that she woke up that morning, Buffy knew that she was going to make the decision to officially end Angel's life support and allow him to pass away.

Buffy wasn't entirely sure how she had come to a decision about that, she just knew that she woke up and had a strange feeling come over her that told her that it was okay to finally end Angel's care.

Buffy knew that letting him go was going to be one of the hardest decisions that she would ever have to make but she didn't want him to suffer anymore and as much as she wanted to hold out for a miracle, she knew that he deserved to be at peace.

The only problem with making such a difficult decision in Buffy's eyes was that she wasn't sure if she had the strength to say goodbye to Angel for the last time and she wasn't sure if she would be able to garner it by the time that she needed to do so.

/

After some time of being situated on the balcony, Buffy managed to compose herself and walked back into the inside of the hotel room. Once she was back in the hotel room, Buffy walked over to the cabinet where some old vinyl records were stored in a crate and pulled out the crate and picked a record out of it and then placed it on the Victrola in the room.

Within seconds of doing that, the melancholy sounds of "Maybe" by Janis Joplin were soon bellowing throughout the hotel room.

Once Buffy's music selection for the morning was figured out, she walked into the bathroom to take a quick shower and then began the process of getting ready for the day. However, with the way that she was feeling about her upcoming trip to the hospital and what it would entail, Buffy didn't really think to put a lot of effort into her appearance that morning. In fact, she put very little effort into fixing herself up that morning.

Whereas Buffy would make sure that her hair was somewhat perfectly coiffed most mornings, she just lightly brushed it on that day and didn't think anymore of it. Buffy, who was a stickler for making sure that her makeup was perfect most mornings, didn't even bother to do it on that day and instead opted to just slap a bit of water on her face.

As she stood staring at herself in the bathroom mirror, Buffy noticed that she had dark circles centered around her eyes from crying so much throughout the previous night and earlier that morning. Buffy contemplated doing something to alleviate the circles but realized in the light of certain circumstances, that she didn't really give a fuck about getting rid of those circles.

When it came to her wardrobe choices for the day, Buffy really hadn't give much thought to what she would wear. Buffy just grabbed one of Angel's old sweatshirts(which was quite oversized on her) and a pair of her own denim jeans and slipped them on quickly and considered herself dressed.

Buffy was completely depressed, beyond worn out, and felt as though her heart was about to crumble into a million pieces and so looking like a beauty queen didn't really appeal to her that morning and she really wasn't sure if it ever would again. The light had metaphorically left her eyes the moment that she realized what she was going to lose by letting Angel go and in the midst of that, nothing else seemingly mattered to her.

Once she felt as though she was mildly decent, she exited the hotel room and went outside to her car and began her drive to the hospital.

/

About 20 minutes after leaving the Hyperion, Buffy pulled up into the parking lot of UCLA medical center. She sat there in the parking lot for several minutes after arriving, almost completely frozen with a despondent look plastered on her face, deeply contemplating the decision that she was about to step inside of that hospital and make.

While she was temporarily encased within her car, every memory from her time with Angel managed to travel to her brain all at once and as she deeply reflected on those memories, her heart seemed to break a bit more every time she analyzed one.

When the memory of the last time that the 2 estranged lovers met in Rome crossed her mind, Buffy angrily hit her steering wheel repeatedly and then let out a heavy scream and then let her head fall against the helm of the car.

Buffy sobbed uncontrollably as she mentally traveled back to that fateful night in Rome, the night where she told the love of her life to essentially give up any hope that they might reunite someday.

The look on his face after she made her stupid proclamation to him was one of hurt and pure sadness and she knew that image of him was going to be one that would permanently be seared into her brain for the rest of her life….and she also knew that she would never completely forgive herself for causing him such heartbreak.

If Buffy had only known that night in Rome would be the last time that they would ever see each other, she would have held him a bit closer and given him at least one more kiss and told him that she loved him one more time.

Now she would have to live for the rest of her life with the regret of her actions that night and the sad realization that she will never be able to truly fix the indescribable pain that she caused Angel to have during it.

"It wasn't supposed to end like that, baby. I am so sorry." Buffy softly stated to the wind, while still thinking of the last time that she saw Angel alive and lightly swaying her head from side to side and secretly hoping that he could somehow hear her sincere apology.

Buffy then picked her head off of the steering wheel and then swatted her eyes with her thumbs and then took her cross necklace from on her neck and placed it into her left hand, staring down at it adoringly and caressing it with her other hand.

"I love you, my Angel. I will love you for the rest of my life. You are my heart and soul. Please know that I am making this decision because of how much I do love you and please forgive me for making it, where you are." Buffy said softly, just before she gave a sweet kiss to the necklace and then put it in her back pocket.

Buffy then took a deep breath, quickly gained her composure, got out of her car, and walked into the hospital.

/

When she first entered the hospital, Buffy's first stop before heading immediately to Angel's room was to a gift shop, where she picked up some fresh calla lilies that she wanted to place aside Angel's hospital bed.

Buffy then made her way down the corridor to Angel's hospital room and when she arrived there, it was already packed with members of the A.I. team.

"Good Morning, you guys." Buffy said, as she lightly knocked on the hospital room door and then proceeded to greet everyone in it.

"Good Morning, Buffy." Fred said.

"Morning, Buffy." Gunn said, while giving a light wave.

"Hello, Buffy." Wesley gruffly said.

"How is our favorite patient doing today?" Buffy asked the team, as she walked over to a nearby table and put the calla lilies on it and then walked over to where Angel was situated and bent down and gave him a kiss on the cheek.

"He's being his old stubborn self, Buffy. No change as usual." Fred said, hoarsely, as she reached over to Angel and ran her hand over his.

"Were you able to do what we discussed, Fred." Buffy remarked, as she placed her purse on a table and then sat down next to Angel's bed.

"I couldn't find a recent number for Connor, Buffy. I tried looking through Angel's files last night for even an address for Connor but weirdly enough there wasn't one. I am so sorry." Fred said, woefully and with an apologetic look on her face.

"It is perfectly fine, Fred. As much as I would love for Connor to be here and for him to have a say in what happens next, I don't actually need him to help me decide what I am going to do next about Angel and his coma. I have already come to a decision about it." Buffy said assuredly, as she looked at Angel and then back at the team.

"What is it?" Wesley asked, as he promptly stood up from his seat in the room.

"You guys, I have decided that I am going to talk to the doctors and tell them that I want to discontinue Angel's life support." Buffy morosely stated, before placing her hand over her mouth and starting to cry.

Buffy then glanced over at Angel and traced one of her fingers adoringly down his jawline and then looked back at the team and then reached over to Angel and grabbed his left hand, holding it gently.

"What?" Fred shouted, as her eyes became enlarged and she had to reprocess what she just heard.

"You have been adamant on keeping him alive. What changed?" Gunn exclaimed, as he also was trying to make sense of what he just heard.

"Angel is suffering far more now than he has in the last 6 months. The heart attack is doing a number on him and it's ultimately going to cause more damage to his body if I don't do something now." Buffy adamantly empathized, as her voice was cracking and also as she was hitting the middle of her hand to prove a point.

"Buffy, are you sure that this is what you want to do?" Fred curiously asked, while looking at Buffy directly. "You have always been his biggest champion when it comes to getting him out of this coma." Fred stressed.

"Fred, I can't have him suffer anymore. I can't allow him to go through anymore pain. I am beyond sick of the shamans telling us one thing about his coma and the doctors saying another. I firmly believe that if Angel were truly able to come back to us, it would have happened by now." Buffy reiterated, as she nervously ran her hands through her hair and then lightly started to shake her head.

"I am happy that you finally came to your senses about all of this. You are making the right decision here for him, Buffy." Wesley brazenly stated, as he walked over to where Buffy was situated and placed his hand on her shoulder.

"Wesley, please shut the fuck up." Buffy angrily shouted, as she moved away from Wesley and gave him a death stare. "I am not making this decision because it will make you happy. I am doing this because it's the best one for Angel. Angel deserves to have some damn peace and I am going to give him that!" Buffy continued.

"How are you feeling about all of this?" Gunn concerningly asked.

"If you want me to be honest, I feel like my heart is about to be ripped out and stomped on. I don't want to be the one to essentially kill the man that I love but I am doing this cause I do love him and I can't stand to see him in pain anymore." Buffy said, as she ran her hands down her shoulders and fought the urge to cry more than she was already doing.

"Oh Buffy, I am so sorry." Fred said sadly, as she walked over to Buffy and then pulled her into a hug.

"The first thing that we need to do is bring Angel home. I don't want him dying in a hospital, that wouldn't be right. I want Angel to pass away at the hotel. I feel like that is what he would want." Buffy sheepishly stated, as she broke apart from Fred's hug.

"Do you think that's a smart thing to do? Not having him here in the hospital when IT happens?" Gunn asked cautiously, while folding his arms.

"Gunn, there's going to be a bevy of medical professionals coming to the hotel to help with cutting off the machines and the aftermath of it so I anticipate that things are going to be fine. Plus we would be disrespecting Angel's wishes if we just let him die in some hospital and you know it." Buffy stated.

"What's the next order of business, boss?" Gunn remarked, just before he took a sip of the cup of coffee that he had on a nearby table.

"I am going to let all of you go. I know that I said that I would buy out your shares of the hotel at the end of the year but you will be receiving them in the next few days." Buffy said astutely, as she wiped her tears and a serious look appeared on her face.

"Why would you do that?" Fred questioned.

"Angel stipulated in his will that he wanted all of you to move on with your lives and I think that is exactly what all of you should do now that he's going to be gone soon. I appreciate all of you immensely for sticking around and helping me take care of Angel and helping me with the business side of things but it's time for me to let you all go." Buffy stated, sincerely.

"What is going to happen to you?" Fred asked, concerningly.

"I think that I am going to leave right after the machines are turned off. I don't know where I am going but I am definitely getting the hell out of L.A.. There is nothing left for me here and so there isn't really a reason to stay here." Buffy expressed, as she sat down on the edge of Angel's hospital bed.

"I don't know how to say this but have you thought about the funeral arrangements?" Wesley asked, somewhat nervously.

"I want Angel to be shipped back to Ireland. I think that it's only right that he is buried in the place where he was born. I am going to need you to make the arrangements for that, Wesley." Buffy replied.

"Anything else, Buffy?" Gunn asked, as he wrung around his hand.

"I want us to have a proper wake for Angel. I want to put together something where everyone who loved him and who he helped is able to come together and celebrate his life. I want to give my Angel one last sendoff before he is shipped to Ireland." Buffy muttered, as she turned her body around to face Angel and then lovingly ran the edge of her fist down the side of his face.

"That sounds like you want to have a party, not a wake. I think that Angel would appreciate something like that." Fred said sweetly, as she walked over to Buffy and placed her hands on her shoulders.

"Fred, Angel absolutely hated parties and you know it!" Wesley harshly stated, as he rolled his eyes and then folded his arms.

"Wesley, now is not the time to be a pompous ass." Fred retorted, as she squinted her eyes and gave him a dirty look and then shook her head at how much of a dumbass he was being.

"Thank you, Fred." Buffy said, with a light smile.

"What are you planning on doing with the hotel?" Gunn asked, as he went to go stand by the window.

"I am going to leave that in the hands of Wesley. I want Wesley to sell the hotel." Buffy replied, while looking in the direction of her former watcher.

"What happened to your plan to keep the hotel for Connor?" Fred questioned, while starting to get a little upset at Buffy's plans.

"Fred, we are not even sure if Connor is alive. For all we know, he's probably dead somewhere. I can't wait for Connor to suddenly pop up one day and decide what happens with the hotel. Any unresolved decisions when it comes to Angel's estate need to be handled NOW and one of those is what to do with the hotel." Buffy boldly stated, while hitting the middle of her hand for emphasis.

"Angel would never want you to put the hotel in a position to be sold and you know it." Fred remarked, as she glared at Buffy questionably and became a bit incensed.

"It's NOT my choice, Fred. I am letting Wesley make that decision. I am merely saying that I want the hotel to be sold. Whatever Wesley decides to do with the hotel once I give him control of it is his decision." Buffy adamantly said, while glazing over in Wesley's direction.

"Angel loved you. Angel trusted you to keep the hotel and ultimately use it as a force for good. How in the hell can you just throw it away like it's nothing?" Fred angrily shouted, just before she started to walk towards the hospital room door.

"Buffy, you are making a major mistake here. Don't do this." Gunn pleaded, as he closed his eyes and clasped his hands together in a prayer-like position.

"I am sorry but my mind is made up. The decision is final" Buffy quickly murmured, while trying to hold firm in her position on the matter.

"You know that you are going to be breaking his heart by doing this, right?" Fred asked, while looking in Angel's direction and then over at Buffy and shaking her head. "I am so glad that he's not awake to see that the woman he loves is a heartless bitch who only thinks of her own damn self." Fred angrily said, just before she ran out of the hospital room.

"You are wrong for this one, Buffy." Gunn said disapprovingly, just before he followed Fred out of the hospital room.

"Buffy, you are making the right decision here." Wesley brazenly murmured, in a half assed attempt to be comforting and reassuring toward Buffy.

"Wesley, do me a favor?" Buffy sarcastically asked, as she walked toward the hospital room door.

"What is it?" Wesley replied, with a semi goofy smile on his face.

"Please for the love of Hecate, shut the fuck up." Buffy angrily stated, as she threw her hands up and then stormed out of the hospital room.

/

The moment that she exited the hospital room, Buffy instantly regretted her decision to tell the A.I. team that she was not only ending Angel's life support but also that she planned to sell the hotel.

Buffy knew that the hotel was supposed to be a force for good but she saw it as a tie to Angel and she figured that if she was ever going to truly heal after his passing, she needed to get rid of anything that might tie him to her and one of those things was the Hyperion.

Buffy felt bad that Gunn and Fred were mad at her, as they had been extremely kind to her since she arrived in Los Angeles and embraced her as though she was family. Buffy hated to hurt them with her news and she truly hoped that they would understand why she was making the choice to sell the hotel in time.

When it came back to the issue of discontinuing Angel's life support, she was still somewhat unsure about doing it even after telling the team that was definitely going to do it. It did not matter in her eyes that cutting off the machines might be good from a medical perspective, she knew that it was probably the wrong choice from a moral one.

However, as much as she was emotionally grappling with the choice that she just made, Buffy was completely determined to not backtrack on her decision. She knew that ending life support WAS the best decision that could be made for Angel in his current medical predicament and she was going to stick to it no matter how much it was going to metaphorically kill her to do so.

As Buffy stood on one side of Los Angeles making a choice that was sure to be heartbreaking and life-changing for her, Nina Ash was on the other side of town trying to get out of a situation that she never planned on being in.

/

Downtown L.A.

December 2004

It was the beginning of the afternoon in downtown Los Angeles and in a seedy alley that was situated between an adult bookstore and a Chinese food restaurant stood a very angry and somewhat disheveled Nina Ash.

Nina was standing in the middle of that alley because it contained a portal to a metaphysical entity that she had aligned herself with prior to becoming a werewolf and she was there to seek help from the entity in regards to her situation with Buffy and to some extent, Angel too.

The metaphysical entity in question was something far greater than the earth had ever seen and it was also an entity that secretly owned Nina's entire being(including her soul) due to a deal that she had secretly made with it about a year and a half beforehand.

When Nina decided that she was going to go into that alley, she knew that she was going to ask permission from the entity to kill Buffy and if that request was not granted, she was going to ask it to release her from their deal.

The only problem that Nina saw with the option of wanting to end her deal with the entity was that she knew it could end extremely badly. One of the terms of Nina's deal with the entity was that she was supposed to deliver on a major part of it and she had not exactly done that, due to unforeseen circumstances.

Nina really didn't want to go in front of the entity with that sort of thing hanging in the air cause the last thing that you want to do as a demon is piss off a supernatural entity that you are already indebted to, by asking for a favor.

In doing such a thing, Nina knew that she was potentially asking to have her eyes gouged out or her head chopped off. However she had to take the risk as she really didn't want Buffy to be a problem that she had to deal with.

As Nina stood in the alley with her arm in a sling and one of her eyes still deeply swollen from Buffy's fist, she began to chant a few words in old latin.

Once Nina was done chanting, a blue portal started to form in front of her. When the portal was completely opened, Nina stepped inside of it and entered into a room of sorts. The room was dimly lit with blue light heavily emanating through it and there was a table situated within the room that sat 5 shadowy looking figures that were all wearing dark red robes.

"Greetings, Ms. Ash." The first shadowy figure said, while nodding his head.

"Cut the bullshit, you guys know exactly why I am here." Nina sharply retorted, while giving all of the shadowy figures a hard look.

"No, we do not. What have we done to receive this unexpected and what I am sure will be an unfortunate visit from you, Ms. Ash?" Shadowy figure #2 said sarcastically.

"I don't care what I signed. I want out of the contract that I signed with you guys." Nina said, while putting her arms behind her back and then lightly beginning to pace back and forth.

"Care to explain why, Mrs. Ash?" Shadowy figure #3 asked, while faking as though he actually cared about the answer.

"When I signed my contract to be a mole for your organization, you did not tell me that I would have to deal with the likes of Buffy Summers." Nina shouted, as she stopped her pacing for a second and then tapped 2 fingers to the side of her forehead.

"Do you have a problem with the slayer, lower being?" Shadowy figure #2 remarked.

"Yeah, I do. I don't want to be anywhere near that insufferable bitch." Nina replied, while tilting her head to the side and shooting him a questionable look.

"The slayer is a minor inconvenience." Shadowy figure #1 stated, while wringing his hands around.

"The bitch broke my arm, so I don't think that she is a minor inconvenience." Nina sarcastically stated, while raising one of her fingers and pointing at the cast on her arm.

"It doesn't look that bad from what I can see. Just pour newt juice on it and you will be fine." Shadowy figure #4 said, nonchalantly and while giving Nina's arm a once over.

"Look, I can't deal with Buffy. Buffy is just as ignorant and spiteful and bitchy as she ever was and if I have to deal with her, she is going to be a pain in my ass." Nina passionately exclaimed, while throwing her arms in the air and then shaking her head.

"Ms. Ash., your silly earthly feud with the slayer is no concern of ours. When you agreed to work for us, you agreed to do a job for us and we expect for that job to get completed." Shadowy figure #5 explained, matter of factly.

"Ms. Ash, you are well aware what will happen if you break the rules of our contract, right?" Shadowy figure #3 stated, while looking at Nina intently.

"I have heard this spiel a million times from all of you. If I break my contract and stop working with your organization as a mole, you will kill my sister and then kill me. Yadda Yadda, I get it." Nina said, while using air quotes. "I just wish that I had been told beforehand that Buffy was a part of this." Nina continued.

"Ms. Ash, we informed you of the information that was bestowed upon us. The higher power that even we as the senior partners serve did NOT foresee the slayer involving herself in Angel's predicament and to find out such a fact was not only surprising to you but to us as well." Shadowy figure #2 said, while leaning back in his chair and then folding his arms.

"For what we had been told about the slayer, she was living a life of debauchery in Italy and that Angel was the furthest thing from her mind. So to see the slayer so invested in the metaphysical debacle that is currently Angel's life is something that certainly none of us could have ever anticipated happening." Shadowy figure #4 expressively stated.

"Well your sources were clearly wrong." Nina said, while rolling her eyes and then shaking her head.

"Sadly that appears to be so." Shadowy figure #2 murmured, while reluctantly agreeing with Nina.

"Look, I really don't care about Buffy and to some extent, I don't care about Angel. When I signed my contract with your organization, my job was simply to bring you information that Angel told me when it came to his plans to bring your organization down. Now that Angel is clearly about to kick the bucket, my deal with you guys is over." Nina griped, while hitting the middle of her hands for emphasis.

"Ms. Ash, you never delivered one piece of decent information to us in regards to Angel's plans to dismantle our power base on earth that was feasible. Your fragrant incompetence when it came to doing your job essentially allowed Angel and his team to practically eradicate our presence on earth." Shadowy figure #2 yelled, just as the irises of his eyes turned bright red.

"Ms. Ash, you allowed yourself to begin to care for Angel and that severely impaired your judgment and caused you to not do your job effectively. I honestly don't understand why we haven't put your head on a swivel for your incompetence." Shadowy figure #3 harshly stated, while looking at Nina intently.

"We haven't murdered the stupid human yet because even in the midst of her ignorance and her inability to do even the most simple of tasks, she is still a powerful ally to have." Shadowy figure #4 said, as he looked over at Shadowy figure #3.

"A powerful ally to have?" Shadowy figure #3 said, as he scoffed. Nina was no more than another disposable human in his eyes and he couldn't have cared less about her silly earthbound feuds or matters of the heart.

"Ms. Ash, you are lucky that we are not torturing you and dismembering you slowly for the damage that your stupidity managed to allow to happen on Earth." Shadowy figure #1 angrily murmured, while metaphorically shooting daggers at Nina.

"I tried to get information out of Angel. I can't help it if he didn't want to spill the beans to me." Nina empathetically stated, as she nervously shrugged her shoulders.

"It astonishes us greatly that you even have the "gall" as earthings tend to say to even come to us and ask us the senior partners to just let you walk away without consequences from your contract after you failed miserably at performing your duties." Shadowy figure # 2 irately stated, with his voice so loud that Nina thought she was going to lose her hearing from the sound of it.

"So I am guessing that you are going to kill me now, right? Since I apparently didn't do what you wanted." Nina nervously said, while a chill was running down her spine and a lump formed in her throat.

"Not exactly, Mrs. Ash." Shadowy figure #1 stated.

"So you are going to let me out of my deal then, right?" Nina replied, while dramatically putting her hand over her chest and thinking that she might walk out of there alive.

"Ms. Ash, your "deal" as you say with us is far from over." Shadowy figure #1 said, while rolling his eyes.

"It is?" Nina replied, while being a bit shocked.

"Even though we are not satisfied with your performance as a whole, we do know that you have become quite acquainted with Angel while on earth and that could potentially help our cause if he were to indeed wake up." Shadowy figure #3 remarked, skittishly.

"I don't know if you guys have been watching the show down on Earth but it doesn't look like Angel is going to WAKE up." Nina sharply informed the group.

"Ms. Ash, things are not as they seem in that regard." Shadowy figure #2 said.

"What do you mean? Angel's going to die, right?" Nina asked, while looking at the group.

"Ms. Ash, that is information that we cannot reveal to you because the state of Angel's fate is currently up in the air, as you earthlings tend to say." Shadowy figure #1 cryptically stated.

"There appears to be an unknown shift when it comes to Angel's fate and even powers that are greater than us cannot figure out what is causing it." Shadowy figure #2 continued.

"I honestly do NOT know what that means. Can you spell it out in english?" Nina murmured, while wringing out her hands and looking to each member of the group for a possible explanation.

"Ms. Ash, you are so disobedient. Please be quiet." Shadowy figure #4 bellowed.

" , Angel is in a state of purgatory. Oh and until certain decisions are made on earth in regards to his being as a whole, he will be unable to leave that purgatory in any form." Shadowy figure #2 declared.

"So you are saying that Angel could still wake up from his coma?" Nina asked, as her eyes became somewhat enlarged and the voice took on an almost excited tone to it.

"That is a mere possibility but a possibility indeed." Shadowy figure #4 replied.

"What is my job going to be for you guys, if Angel does somehow manage to return to Earth?" Nina remarked, while skittishly running her hands through her hair.

"If Angel manages to somehow awaken from his rather long slumber, he will without a doubt return to the arms of the slayer. Your job from then on will be to work to end their coupling by any means necessary and then convince Angel to return to the dark side." Shadowy figure #2 stoically stated, and with a deadpan expression on his face.

"Angel has always wanted to be human, he's not going to want to give that up just to return to the darkness." Nina said.

"Ms. Ash, your job will be to show Angel that he could be far more valuable as a demon than he could ever be as a human." Shadowy figure #5 retorted.

"I am not really sure how I am going to convince him to turn back into a demon but whatever." Nina said unsuredly and while being visibly confused.

" , Please use the one modicum of intelligence that you surprisingly do have in order to figure that out." Shadowy figure #4 harshly conveyed, while growing annoyed with Nina's presence.

"Wow, that was kind of rude but okay. Can you guys please explain to me how I am supposed to get Angel away from Buffy? That seems like quite an impossible feat." Nina said, curtly.

"Ms. Ash, you might not be a very smart individual but you are someone that is quite beautiful. All you have to do is use your feminine wiles and that will lure Angel from the slayer." Shadowy figure # 2 implied, while giving Nina a once over.

"What do I do once I am able to get Angel away from bitchy, I mean Buffy?" Nina remarked.

"You are going to make him fall in love with you and then you are going to destroy everything that he loves. We figure that you doing that will drive him so mad that he will want nothing more than to return to a bloodthirsty demon and wreak havoc on the lives of innocents." Shadowy figure #2 said, as he chimed in.

"Okay I think that I might like that idea but what do I do about Buffy in the meantime, until Angel possibly wakes up?" Nina asked, bluntly.

"Watch her closely and examine her every move. Make the slayer so uncomfortable that she will want to exit Angel's circle before he possibly returns to earth." Shadowy figure #3 exclaimed.

"The idea of knowing that I can ruin Buffy's life is amazing. Am I going to be getting a bonus for having to deal with that bitch?" Nina said, as she grinned and then rubbed her chin in a condescending way.

"Ms. Ash, I don't think that you are in a position to be requesting anything from us, especially not things of a monetary nature." Shadowy figure #4 remarked, crudely.

"Okay, fine." Nina said, as she rolled her eyes and relented.

"Ms. Ash, you will have one opportunity to do the things that we stated here today in the event that Angel does indeed wake up. If you are unable to complete said tasks, you and Jill will be brutally massacred." Shadowy figure #3 said, as he snappily informed Nina.

"What happens if Angel doesn't wake up?" Nina nervously asked, with a bit of trepidation in her voice.

"Ms. Ash, you and your sister will die." Shadowy figure #2 replied, with a deadpan expression on his face.

"That's the stupid fucking price you pay when you decide to align yourself with evil, I guess." Nina haphazardly stated, while being pissed at her luck.

"Be gone, stupid earthling." Shadowy figure #2 shouted, as he then raised his hand and waved Nina out of the portal and she was transported back into the alley, where she flat on the ground flat on her ass.

"Let the games begin." Nina murmured, as she looked back at where the now closed portal once stood and smiled.

/

The end of Part 5