A/N: Something new! Maybe done to death, but never yet by me, so thought I'd take a stab at a Christmas story. So many in this fandom it's wild! This is short, 7-8 chapters, and mostly written, just in need of editing. I'm hoping this will keep it from interfering with my other endeavor. Beefcake is on schedule, so fingers crossed. I was very excited to finally write something spicy that actually involves Chuck and Sarah (lol) considering how far we have to go in vs Her Life to get to them together! It will be done before Christmas. Don't let the title fool you. This is not a Chuck version of that plotline, not at all. But the movie itself is important, hence the title. Here goes. Would love to know what you think!
Ellie Woodcomb and I are friends.
In terms of my life, she is a relatively new friend, but as close a friend as I had, maybe ever. I met her about two years ago, in a mindfulness class that my personal physician recommended for what she called my "stress management problems."
At the time, I had been recently promoted to first chair violinist in the Los Angeles Symphony Orchestra. Being a member of an orchestra was challenging enough, but the first chair violinist acts as the concertmaster, effectively carrying the tune of whatever piece we were performing, as well as tuning the other musicians to the conductor. It required a level of concentration unparalleled in my experience playing music before. I would lie awake sleepless, unable to turn off the sounds of the music in my head, the measures and clefs, each note a pinpoint on my brain, endlessly scrolling back and forth.
Playing my violin has always brought me peace, taken me to a place where I could lose myself, even at the most stressful of times. It was my out, my escape. My new role had created an edge, an anxiety about playing I had never experienced before. Not only couldn't I sleep, but I was having headaches and losing my ability to concentrate during the day. After I saw my doctor, she recommended the mindfulness class.
I met Ellie during the first class. She was welcoming, friendly, generally outgoing, and in such a kind way. I kept to myself, like I usually do, the way I feel most comfortable…away from people. Ellie made it a point to engage me, going above and beyond, I think because she sensed somehow how…solitary I was. She was never overbearing, just sweet. Nice, as cliché as that sounds.
But in my experience, despite how cliché it is, that quality is hard to find. Almost everyone I had ever known had let me down. It was part of the reason why I was alone, why I preferred being alone.
Mind you, I didn't feel better being alone. Part of me, deep on the inside, ached from that loneliness. But feeling that way was still easier for me than letting someone into my life, at least until Ellie became my friend. I saw her once a week at class for almost six months, and then we kept in touch. I would meet her for lunch or coffee once or twice a week, and even call her on weekends sometimes when we needed to catch up. Every once in a while we go shopping or get our hair or nails done together as a treat.
Ellie and her husband, Devon, were both doctors. Ellie had confided in me that she had needed the class, not because of her stressful job, which I can imagine was probably more stressful than mine per se, but because of a difficult situation she had been dealing with involving her family. In very general terms, Ellie told me her brother, whom she described as the person she was closer to than anyone else, had been going through a difficult divorce, from a woman who was an alcoholic. It had taken a toll on her brother, and hence, on her as well. From what little Ellie described, I knew her brother was in counseling, but he still turned to her for emotional support. It was her husband Devon's idea that she attend the class.
Ellie had told me all of that when we had first met, but I never really thought about it again. The class must have helped her, because I never saw any signs of the strain as she had described. When she and I were together, she talked about her family in general terms only, for politeness' sake. Rightly so, she never divulged personal information about her brother, other than a stray comment here and there. I recalled she had told me her brother lived in New York.
She never once mentioned any other family—no parents, grandparents, aunts, uncles—nothing. In that way, we were quite alike it seemed. Perhaps another reason why I was drawn to her.
I met Devon a few times; he was quite handsome and very sweet, just like she was. They were the perfect couple. I honestly believed that.
Until the time I thought Ellie was cheating on her husband.
It was two weeks before Christmas and Ellie and I were meeting for afternoon coffee at a local shop near the hospital where Ellie and her husband worked. I had arrived a little early and I had a seat near the window while I waited for Ellie to meet me.
As I gazed out through the window at the parking lot, from a distance, I saw Ellie. She was tall, almost as tall as me, so she naturally attracted my attention. She was dressed in her scrubs, fresh from being at work, but her long brown hair was loose and free-flowing, which told me she had signed out for the day and was meeting with me before she went home.
But she wasn't alone.
Walking beside her, so close their shoulders were almost touching, too close to be a random stranger or even a casual coworker, was a tall man. He was dressed in a dark suit, expertly tailored to fit his trim but broad-shouldered physique; it was an expensive suit—noticeable even from my vantage point. His hair was dark, combed off his forehead in a wave, with dark, thin sideburns on an otherwise clean shaven face.
He was quite handsome. It took a moment for me to look away, after I realized I was gawking.
Who was he? How did Ellie know him?
I saw Ellie point over her shoulder, towards the shop where I was sitting, while she was talking to him. He smiled…and it almost took my breath away. He had the most beautiful smile I had ever seen. I was transfixed and so intrigued I couldn't look away.
Ellie laughed, and then the man grabbed her, hugging her enthusiastically, lifting her off the ground. I saw him kiss her cheek before he set her back down on her feet. She reached up and touched his face, resting her hand on his cheek. It was such an intimate gesture. It actually bothered me.
Because I knew she was married.
He turned, probably to walk back to his car and she proceeded to hurry away to cross the parking lot, heading to meet me.
I panicked, getting very flustered. If I could have found a way to leave without her seeing me, I think I might have. I didn't know what to say to her, awkward and uncomfortable all at once.
How could she be cheating on her husband? Ellie was so sweet, caring and kind. Worse, how could I have misjudged her so?
My eyes were darting around, looking for an exit, when Ellie approached from the door.
"Sarah, what's wrong?" Ellie asked, genuinely concerned.
I fumbled, choking, unsure what to say, my face burning with embarrassment.
She was worried about me, seeing me act so strangely. And I thought she was cheating on her husband.
"I'm sorry, Ellie, but…I have to go," I stammered.
Ellie saw through me. "Sarah, what's wrong?" she asked again, more insistently.
I closed my eyes, feeling my cheeks burning. "Ellie, I…saw you."
"Saw me what?" Ellie asked, amused and confused, her head tilted to the side.
She hadn't reacted the way I would have thought, if I had truly seen her with another man.
"Ellie, are you cheating on Devon?" I blurted, shifting my gaze to the floor.
"What?" she gasped, taking a step backward, totally in shock.
I gestured towards the window, to the parking lot. "I saw you with that…guy. He hugged and kissed you," I said softly, so no one else would hear.
Ellie's mouth hung open for several seconds. I could tell she had no idea what I was talking about. It took a while for it to register, but eventually it seemed to dawn on her.
"Oh!" she gasped, gesturing to where I had just pointed. "That?" she laughed. "That was my brother, Chuck."
Her brother?
Now I was shocked. My mind started racing. "But…he lives in New York, doesn't he?"
"He did. He just moved back to L.A. about a month ago. I guess I just never mentioned it to you before," Ellie explained. She laughed, bending forward at her waist, obviously thoroughly amused. "Oh my God, you thought I was cheating on my husband with my brother? Wait till I tell Devon. No, wait till I tell Chuck!"
Her flowing laughter eased my embarrassment.
I tried to replay what I'd seen. Their closeness, the hug, the peck on the cheek. He was her brother. It was more affectionate, more open, than I had ever seen a man be to his sister in public, where someone else could witness it. But, from what I had seen, I could imagine the family resemblance—same hair, same eyes, even a similar smile.
I covered my face with both hands. "Oh, Ellie…I'm so sorry…I can't believe I–"
Ellie grabbed me in a giant hug, silencing my stuttering apology. "Oh, Sarah, it's ok. Don't think anything of it. It must have looked so strange to you, especially since I never mentioned Chuck had moved back to California."
She released me and then pointed back to the chair. We sat across from each other and ordered our coffee.
I was still embarrassed, but I told myself I could relax. She wasn't upset. I'd actually made her laugh with my foolishness.
I tried to remember the little bit she had told me about her brother. About Chuck.
"Isn't your brother's company headquartered in New York?"
He ran a tech firm, I recalled. Cyber security or something like that. Outside of my cell phone, I was pretty ignorant about most technology.
"Oh, it was," Ellie sighed, huffing, like there was a long story behind it. "He moved to New York after he and Jill were married and he got the firm off the ground. But…after the divorce, he didn't want to stay there, so far away from his family and his friends. So he's spent the last two years relocating. It was a nightmare, let me tell you. Stressful. A lot of his staff, even his head programmers, didn't want to relocate. He had to almost start from scratch again.
"He still has some loose ends in New York…but he wanted to be back in L.A. before Christmas."
I couldn't recall her ever talking so much about him. I thought again about how Ellie and I had met. She had needed a stress management class…because her brother was heavily relying on her emotionally, during a difficult time.
"He must be glad to be home. He must have really missed you," I added, making an assumption that she confirmed with a vigorous head shake.
"Yeah," she sighed wistfully. "I missed him too." She stayed smiling, but her eyes shifted down to the dark brown liquid in her mug, a thin film of tears on her eyes.
She was quiet for a while, then she looked up. Her smile faded to a crooked grin. "Chuck and I had a…unique childhood. Our mother left when we were young. Chuck was nine and I was 12. My father was there, but…he was never the same after my mother left. We didn't see it, but I know he drank. Heavily. I pretty much raised Chuck. We took care of each other. And my father left for good when Chuck was 16."
Her words had moved me, shifting something inside me. My own life story was no better. I only remembered my father. I had hazy memories of my mother, but nothing substantial. I didn't know until I was an adult, but my father kidnapped me away from her when I was three.
My parents divorced when I was two. My mother had won sole custody of me because my father had a criminal record, for being a con man and a thief. He only had supervised visitation rights…and that wasn't acceptable to him. So he ran with me instead. I never saw my mother again. And my father went to jail when I was 17. He was still in jail as far as I knew.
Ellie didn't know any of this. But maybe that explains a little better why I preferred being alone. Pushing people away, keeping them away, ensured no one would ever be poised to hurt me in any way.
Ellie had just shared something deeply personal with me. It was touching. It comforted me, made me feel the connection, the bond of our friendship. Even if I wasn't ready to share everything with her. But I felt compelled to tell her some things. It was what friends did, they confided in each other.
"I'm so sorry, Ellie," I said softly, reaching, resting my hand on top of hers. She squeezed my hand, both surprised and comforted by the novel gesture. "It's not exactly the same, but I know what that's like. Only it was just me. I was an only child…and on my own when I was 17."
She listened attentively, but she didn't pry or pepper me with questions. She cared about me, not wanting to appear nosy. Her openness, her willingness to listen made it easier for me to talk. I suddenly found the words much easier to say.
"My father's in jail…he has been since I was 17. He kidnapped me away from my mother, who had sole custody of me after they divorced."
"Oh, Sarah," Ellie sighed. "That's awful. I can't imagine how hard that must have been." Only sympathy, no judgment.
I felt lucky that she was my friend. That she thought I was worthy of her friendship.
"I can't believe I never brought this up after all this time, but how do you spend your holidays? Thanksgiving and Christmas?"
Alone. Usually eating Chinese food and watching It's a Wonderful Life until there were no more tears left to cry.
But I couldn't tell her that, embarrassed at the emptiness of my life.
My silence answered her question.
"Sarah," she said intensely, leaning over the table towards me. "You're spending Christmas with us. I insist."
"Oh, Ellie, that's so sweet, but I don't want to intrude. Your brother is finally home and I would just be in the way—"
"No arguments," Ellie insisted, smiling brightly. "The more the merrier. And Chuck won't mind. Trust me. He feels the same way. He already invited his best friend Morgan and Morgan's wife, Alex."
I blushed, looking down quickly. "Ok, Ellie. That's very sweet of you."
It was two weeks until Christmas. And for the first time that I could remember, I had plans for the holidays.
It was nice. Nice, I told myself.
But I was also terrified.