Chapter CXVIII: The Red Meadow
"Father?"
Yami rushed forward when he noticed the carnage scattered about. Blood was frozen to a few rocks and dirt patches exposed from the force of the fight. The uprooted trees looked as if they'd been burned they were so darkened with blood, mud, and soot. He shivered as he raced forward, ignoring the pounding in his head.
The scent on his tongue made his head spin.
No, no, please no…
He stumbled to a stop. Atem had curled up beside a body that was rapidly freezing in the cold air. The God Dragon lay motionless but for his unsteady breathing, and the exhales he let out barely stirred the air.
Timaeus stood feet away, staring blankly, though his head jerked in his direction when he heard a branch crack under his paw. "Yami…"
His voice had cracked and broken so much it sounded only for a split second and Yami wasn't even sure he heard the second half of his name. He blinked, refusing to look away.
Yugi…
How could Yugi be…?
He blinked, a flash of an image drifting through his head. Hadn't he yelled at him before? Hadn't he asked what Yugi had decided? Hadn't he demanded to know what he'd changed? Hadn't he…? Hadn't he…? Hadn't… he…?
Timaeus was silent, staring blankly. Yami ignored it as he stepped closer. Atem still hadn't moved even to raise his head. Did he even know he was there? Or had he become so buried in grief that he failed to realize they were even there? Yami felt his blood echoing in his bones, halting a foot away.
"Father…" He opened and closed his mouth, eyes flickering to Yugi. The Gandora was rapidly gathering ice on his stiff body. He blinked when he heard a sound, something he knew was a voice but couldn't quite put together. He blinked and raised his eyes. Atem was staring at him.
"What?" he whispered.
The God Dragon didn't move for a moment. Then abruptly he rose to his paws. He stood so tall he seemed to loom over him, eyes like blades of ice as he snarled.
"Is this because of you?"
Yami blinked and struggled to comprehend the words. Atem was…? Did he truly…? He blinked again. But who else was there to blame? He couldn't tell him it was his fault and not Yami's. He couldn't even fathom the words, let alone speak them. His bones creaked when he shifted his weight.
"I… I don't…"
I can give you a fifth.
Yami's head pounded for a split second.
I can give you a fifth.
A fifth…
Yami blinked. No… I… He stared, then dodged aside as Atem leaped. The God Dragon hadn't moved to strike him, but Yami realized he had missed whatever Atem had said. The deity was glaring at him, furious and shaking.
"What?" he croaked.
Atem bristled and snarled, the octave rising almost to an outraged roar. "Fix him." He lunged and snapped when Yami didn't immediately move, and the hatchling was tossed into the snow. Atem loomed over him, slathering, and Timaeus sprang forward to try to move him back.
Yami felt his face itch and saw blood drip from a small cut on Timaeus's cheek. He blinked, bewildered, and then scrambled for his paws. Atem immediately looked to him again, and Yami noticed Timaeus shake himself out with a huff. They eyed each other and Yami felt sick.
"Fix him," Atem repeated angrily. "You can— You did it before. Do it again."
Yami could barely feel his paws. His eyes flickered to Yugi's broken, still body. The snow was falling so quickly he almost couldn't make him out against the ice any longer… Soon he'd be frozen entirely, buried beneath the snow and—
"Damn it, Yami, fix him!"
He rolled, stumbling again to his paws. His eyes flickered rapidly to Atem. The God Dragon was shaking, voice cracked with pain. Yami faltered, staring. Atem looked so small and broken, as if the life had been stripped from him.
"Atem…" Timaeus croaked, stepping forward. "I don't—"
"Shut up," he spat, staring at Yami. "You did it before. Do it again. Save him."
Yami stared back. Yugi was half-frozen. Timaeus had been freshly killed. How was he supposed to…?
I can give you a fifth.
I can give you a fifth.
I can give you a fifth.
I can give you—
Yami blinked, raising and turning his head. His eyes fell on Yugi again, mind racing, and for a split second he felt as if his body had caught on fire. He shivered, bristling, and barely scrambled to his paws again when Atem slammed into him, snarling that he fix Yugi.
He blinked, stumbling, and tried to force some heat into his limbs. Timaeus stood between them, snapping at Atem to stop, and Yami stared for a long moment.
I can give you a fifth.
Yugi…
Yugi was the fifth…
Yami looked to Atem. "I can fix this," he whispered. Atem's head snapped up. Timaeus looked over his shoulder, bristling. Both of them stared at him. Yami was amazed by the anger and outrage in his father's eyes, the lack of hope or even curiosity. The God Dragon was too despaired to think straight, but even he wasn't so stricken he'd forgotten death was irreversible.
"I can fix this," he repeated a little louder. He raised his head and flicked his tail, blinking. "But I need… Timaeus, I need a wolf. Atem, stay here with Yugi. I need… I need Jaden and the others. I need…"
I can give you a fifth.
Yami turned tail and flew off before he could stop himself. He flew until his wings began to ache and the change of temperature made his body burn. His muscles strained and he shivered as the heat drenched his scales. He landed with a thud, panting, and bristled when Jaden and Jesse both sprang to their paws.
"Yami…" Jaden blinked.
"I need help," he managed to croak, then drew a deep breath and forced himself to continue. His lungs ached when he spat, "Dimitri got Yugi."
Jaden froze. Jesse's eyes grew owlish.
"Yugi?" Jaden repeated hollowly. "How?"
"I don't know," he snapped. "But he killed him. I need your help."
"My help? For what? Disposing of the body?" the God Dragon asked, bewildered and rapidly losing patience. "You come here asking my help with what? He's dead. I can't raise the dead, Yami."
"No, I…" Yami's head spun. "I need an anchor."
"A what?"
"What are you even—?"
Yami's head snapped around when he heard wings. Yusei landed beside him, blinking, and looked at Jaden slowly.
"What am I interrupting?"
Yami looked at him for a long moment. Then he blinked and shivered. "Dimitri got Yugi. I need help," he repeated, almost breathless with desperate relief. He stumbled toward Yusei and the God Dragon bristled as he stared at him. "I need your help. I need… I need you, Jaden and Leviathan. I need the three of you."
"Yami, if Yugi is dead—"
"Shut up," he all but roared, spinning on him. He bristled and flexed his claws. "Your input isn't necessary, Jaden. I need your abilities, not your mouth. Just help me."
The Fire Dragon stared, too startled to answer. Yusei was silent for a long time, then muttered, "What do you need from us?"
"I need anchors…a-and Jaden…"
Jaden blinked. "And me? What does that…?" He shook his head slowly. "Yami, you can't reverse death. If Yugi is already gone—"
"Shut up. I need help. I don't need your voice. I need you to heal him when he wakes."
Yusei froze in his peripheral. "You…expect to raise him from the dead?"
Death… Death is my name. Sartorius named me Death.
Yami felt delirious for a split second. "Jaden," he snarled, "you will help me. You will do it of your own accord, or I will beat you half to death. I will rip your wings off. I will sever your paws. I will knock your teeth from your jaws. And I will drag you to Yugi's side."
Each of them froze, and then Yusei shivered.
You will help me!
The three of them flinched as Yami stepped forward. Jaden backed up a step, lashing his tail, and Yami snarled. You will help me, he repeated, and the God Dragon clawed at his head for a split second. Yusei was flattened to the ground behind him, panting, and Jesse crouched unsteadily beside Jaden.
"Yami…" Jaden gasped a breath. "I don't know what you want from me, but I can't raise the dead."
"I need you to heal him when he wakes," he repeated furiously. "I need you to heal him!"
Yusei straightened, shivering. "I'll fetch Leviathan." His head snapped toward Jaden. "Just…help him."
Jaden stared blankly for a moment. "I don't… Okay, I… Yami, I don't know what you want to do. I… But I do owe you my life. And I am indebted to you for the moment. If this is what you truly wish for me to do to clear that debt, then I'll do it."
"No need to fetch me."
Yami looked over slowly, bristling.
The Leviathan stared back coldly. "I thought I sensed a little beast about to declare war, so I came to see," he growled. He lashed his tail then shook his head slowly. "I hope you have some kind of idea what you are doing. Because I don't plan to die trying to save a corpse."
I can give you a fifth…
Yami trembled.
Atem lifted his head. Yami landed easily in front of him. The other three deities winged down and paused, taking in their surroundings with horrified expressions. Atem considered them, rising shakily to his paws. His bones crunched with stiffness. He'd nudged most of the snow off of Yugi and had draped himself across him for the majority of the wait. Some small part of him had hoped his body heat might shelter him somehow, even as the other reared up and snarled Yugi was dead.
"Where is Timaeus?" Yami spat in greeting, whipping around just as something was flung through the air. It hit the ground, rolling in the snow, and lay sprawled before them.
"They're harder to catch when they're running in a pack," Timaeus snapped, shaking himself out. He looked exhausted, and Atem could see bite marks littering his flesh. The puncture wounds were small but deep. They'd put up a huge fight. "Not to mention they followed the deer down to the valley and it's almost impossible to find them when they're scattered about their territory."
Yami blinked, turning back to Atem. "I need you to come with me. You're the most important thing to Yugi. I need you to summon him to me."
Atem blinked. Summon him to…? He narrowed his eyes. Yugi was dead. Yugi was… He was half-frozen. The corpse was so stiff Atem couldn't even imagine it'd housed the wonderful little dragon before. He almost laughed, but it died in his throat. Yami looked…crazed and wild, as if something primal had come over him. Atem didn't know what to make of it…
"Oh, Yugi…" Yusei looked ill.
Atem struggled not to simply curl back up and hope the world might rot around him. Yami met his eye, his expression unreadable and burning. He tried not to flinch as they considered each other.
"Jaden will have to lay near him, so he can heal him when he wakes. You will have to be beside him again, and I will be on the other. You'll have to follow me. Do you understand? Do not stop. Keep moving and never look back."
Atem stared, bewildered. What…? What was he even talking about? He blinked and slowly risked a glance toward Yugi. Had he gone mad with grief? Atem turned back and Yami grabbed the wolf by the leg, dragging it carelessly forward and toward Yugi. Atem bristled, a burst of rage surging through him and making his limbs burn. For a split second he thought to lunge forward, but the impulse died when Yami looked over.
The anger in his eyes was so clear Atem wasn't sure he could fathom standing against it. He stared back for a moment, then moved slowly to lay beside Yugi again. The snow had ceased for the moment and Atem realized with shock it was through Yami, not him.
Jaden hesitated a moment, then moved toward them, circling around once with a horrified look. He lay down in front of them when Yami barked the order, then gave Yusei and Leviathan an unsteady, mortified look.
Yami settled at Yugi's side, dragging the wolf carcass closer. He placed his chin upon its soft fur and shot a look at Atem. The God Dragon hesitated only a heartbeat, then mirrored him.
"Follow me."
Atem went to ask what he meant, but a cold wave spread through him. It was horrifying how quickly his body turned numb. His limbs felt like chunks of ice and his belly ached with dull hunger pains. For a split second his entire body throbbed, and then it faded as well. Atem found himself falling as if he were diving, spiraling through the air and failing to catch himself. The realization came to him that he could not breathe, nor think, and panic swelled for a single second before it faded just as quickly.
"Atem," Yami's voice called, "to me."
His senses came back one by one. The fall stopped abruptly.
Around him the shadows seemed to stretch and dart about like flames. Atem bristled as the world shivered and danced around in his vision for a split second. But the darkness seemed to fade, first to gray and then slowly to silver. Flashes of white and then flickers of color came to him.
All around him was red, as if the world had been bathed suddenly in blood.
Atem bristled and looked about. Grass stood tall enough to reach his hocks, all varying shades of red from ruby to fresh and dried blood. Flowers with petals that shimmered like stars and sunlight upon water flickered about in a small breeze. The stalks swayed, a hideous red like rotting flesh, and Atem shivered as the world around him exploded into sound. Voices whispered about, soft and sweet like forgotten dreams.
Atem raised and turned his head. "Yami."
His son looked over. The wolf dangled from his mouth, looking incredibly small and broken despite the miniscule size difference. The hatchling came to his side and slowly placed the wolf down at his paws. "Stick with me. Do not engage anyone you see here. Do not name them and do not say the name of anyone you believe to have passed. I don't know that they won't swarm to you."
Atem blinked. "Yami…"
"Don't worry. You're safe. Remain at my side and we shall get through easily." Yami paused for a moment, flicking his tail. "We're in the Red Meadow, where spirits come to be judged as to whether they can pass to Paradise or remain in Purgatory."
Atem looked around, startled. Was that why he swore he heard so many voices and saw so many faces swaying about? Even the flowers seemed to reflect images back toward him…
"Father." He turned back. Yami eyed him for a moment, then lashed his tail. "To me."
Atem nodded and fell in stride behind him, keeping his pace quick and steady. Yami led them along for what seemed a lifetime. It seemed as if they had not moved in any direction, nor did he see that they had made any progress. Yet somehow Yami seemed to know where he was going, as if the meadow bowed to him and whispered all of its secrets in his ears. The hatchling paused only once to glance around, then picked his way sharply to the right. Atem followed as quickly as he could, head snapping around once or twice when he saw faces he swore belonged to former suitors.
Yami flicked his tail across his beak when he strayed for too long, gesturing him forward. Atem kept stride until they seemed to crest a hill, the meadow somehow growing wider and further along. It was as if the place were endless, and Atem supposed it must have been. He doubted the dead could be contained in small quarters. They were not village animals…
"Amun," Yami called loudly and clearly, and Atem felt the air ripple as if with ice. He bristled and looked around. For the first time he noticed the absence of temperature and now he felt it in abundance, cold and terrible, as if he'd been buried in the snow with no exit. Atem looked over just as the air shimmered and twisted.
A huge dragon, looming high over their heads, came forward from the shadows.
Atem bristled and stared, bewildered, but Yami merely stepped forward. After a moment he dropped the wolf to the ground and moved back. The dragon before them stared down at the offering with a cold and furious look, eyes flashing like gemstones. And then the dragon began to glimmer and darken and Atem saw shadows and bursts of flame the darkest black and blinding white. It was inches taller than him when it stood before them.
"I brought you your deity," Yami snarled, and Atem saw him tremble with anger.
"A dog?" the other snarled, a hideous and brilliant red just as cold and vibrant as Yami himself. He blinked and peered at the hybrid with furious eyes. "You bring me this as an offering?"
Yami lashed his tail, eyes sharpening like claws as he considered the other dragon. Atem studied the pure-blooded Uria, blinking as he considered it. The beast had no pupils, with eyes that seemed to burn through his flesh like flame. Atem bristled and flicked his tail, uncertain for a single second.
It looked so much like Yami, and yet so entirely different.
"The wolf is revered, a god of the mountains and forest," Yami snarled, voice oddly void of emotion. Atem wondered at the expression on his face, the raw hatred he'd never seen before. "The humans honor it as a creature above everything else."
The Uria blinked once, long and slow, and then chuckled quietly, eyes flashing like gems. "You touch death with a wolf's carcass," it murmured, voice like trailing thunder. "You clever little beast. I ask for a deity and you bring me that of a human."
Yami's eyes flickered briefly, shooting to Atem's for only a split second. "You walked among the humans, Amun," he answered, and Atem was surprised to hear the chill had left his voice. His eyes were still sharp and his stance spoke of rage but he did not have the same ferocity in his voice. "You protected them once before. Now I offer you their most revered creature from the village you once lived within."
Amun looked over slowly. Atem raised his head, flexing his claws, and Yami snarled softly. The three of them were frozen for a single moment before Yami spat, "Accept my offering so that I may retrieve Yugi."
The Uria was silent for a long moment, then chuckled softly once more. He was slathering at the mouth for a single moment before he turned to Yami once more. "Yes, take your fifth," he sneered. "But know that the next time you tread upon my territory I will devour the Divine."
Yami was quiet for a long moment. "Was there ever any other ending?" he asked slowly, flicking his tail before turning to Atem. "To me, Father."
The Sky Dragon stepped forward, moving toward him, and then stopped short. His head snapped back and Amun peered down at him, slathering harder and flexing his long claws where they uprooted earth just as red as the grass growing from it.
"Atem, God Dragon of the East, the Blood-Scaled Beast, the Red Death…" He straightened, looming over him and peering into his eyes with a burning gaze. "You are so much…more than I'd thought."
Yami looked over in his peripheral, bristling faintly.
"Your abilities… The blood you've spilled," he growled softly, drool dripping in rivulets from his huge teeth. "Don't you ever wonder what awaits you when you die?"
"Death does not concern me," Atem snarled, peering up at him and lashing his tail. Yami glanced between them, tense as they sized each other up. "I have no care for it but for now. You cannot intimidate me. Death has never scared me, even when I was young and fled my nest. I do not fear death."
Amun laughed softly again, baring his teeth into a hideous grin. "I know," he spat, snatching the wolf and throwing his head back. He swallowed it whole and turned back to him with glittering eyes. "Go, little Slifer. Find your mate and lead him back to the living. Your son knows the way."
Atem only looked away when the Uria faded from sight, then twitched his wings and turned to Yami. He saw the cold dread in his eyes, the split second of fear which flashed through him as if he thought Atem might ask what the words meant, but he didn't care enough. Amun had guaranteed Yugi would be returned. As far as how Yami knew how to retrieve him or what "your fifth" meant, Atem didn't care.
Yami eyed him for a moment, an expression Atem couldn't read, and the God Dragon snarled under his breath as they considered each other.
"Take me to Yugi," he spat, "or I swear to you, Amun and Dimitri won't be the ones you'll fear at the end of this."
His son nodded and turned away. "Listen, Atem," he said slowly, voice growing quiet until it was almost faint. "Do not make eye contact with any of the dragons here. Do not speak to them, do not entertain them, and most certainly, do not name them."
He hissed. "I'm only interested in finding Yugi."
Yamu nodded. "I know, but this place…it plays tricks. You might think you see something that isn't there. If you see someone and you turn and you make eye contact with it, I don't know what might happen. I don't know what will happen should you name them, either. But I know… I feel it, somewhere deep in my bones. Just… Stay alert and don't get tricked."
Atem scoffed softly, padding along behind him. "I don't think I care enough for the dead to want to see them," he snapped.
He wondered where all the fear originated. The meadow was odd and it set his scales into a bristle, but there seemed no malice. The most he'd felt was the immense rage Amun had displayed upon being offered the body of an animal so far beneath the dragons. He wasn't sure why he'd chosen to accept that slight, but Atem also supposed it didn't matter.
"Stay close." Yami glanced over his shoulder. "Never linger farther than you can see my tail and wings, okay?"
Atem narrowed his eyes. "I do not care to be here but for finding Yugi," he growled, and his son eyed him for a moment longer before turning away. "Is that not what we are here for?"
"It is. But keep your head clear. Some of them…take shapes that aren't theirs, because they're born of memories and desires and not true souls," he muttered. Atem bristled but didn't pause. The Divine flicked his tail lazily, murmuring, "Remember who we are here for. Do not speak his name so often. He's passed into Paradise and I can't call him back here. One of the others might respond and try to draw you to themselves."
"And what shall they do if they manage it?"
Yami shook his head. "I assume they'll kill you, but I don't know. Amun never explained. He merely said I should watch my paws and ignore the rest of the meadow if I should return." He paused. "Bastard."
Atem grunted and glanced around briefly. The shadows looked endless around them and the meadow seemed infinite. He couldn't imagine they were even traveling. Everything looked the same. Had they even made progress or was it a trick?
He shivered and turned to face his son again, a thought briefly crossing his mind. "Should we do this?" he asked softly, and his son faltered, then whipped around. "If he's passed already, should we bring him back?"
"We came here to do that."
"I… I'd like to continue on if I were already judged and allowed to Paradise," he muttered, uncertain. Yami stared back blankly, searching his eyes. "So, perhaps I… We should leave him if he's already…"
"You'll die of heartache."
"Does it matter? Once I destroy Dimitri, what purpose is there in remaining?" he asked slowly, flexing his claws. Yami looked mortified, but there was something cold creeping through his eyes. "Yami, what is the point if he's dead? I can kill Dimitri… And then what reason is there?"
Yami shook his head. "I still need you. I'll always still need you."
Atem opened his mouth to spit that he hadn't for two years, and yet the words failed him. Yugi wouldn't want him to leave Yami alone. If he refused to acknowledge anything else, he had to remember that. Yugi would want him to still be there for him, even with his gaping absence…
He looked away.
"Atem, I don't know for certain that he will remember everything. I also don't know that he won't. I can't be for certain whether he'll come on his own or if I'll have to cross further and meet him. I…" Yami faltered and turned around to stare at him. For a split second he looked confused, and then he tilted his head and considered him curiously. "The last time I was here, I was brought to Amun. And then I was guided to Timaeus when he was attacked. He was brought to me as well…"
He blinked, at first with the impulse to tell him to summon one then since he seemed so powerful here. But the words died in his throat as he remembered.
It'd been him.
It'd been him when he was younger.
He'd come pouncing about and leading Yami along…
"Is it because you're here with me? Is that why?"
Atem bristled faintly. "I don't know." He growled softly. "Should I try to wake up?"
"No," Yami blurted forcefully, scowling. He bristled and lashed his tail, studying him before sighing roughly. "No. No, I need you. Yugi is more likely to come if he senses you. And he'll follow you to the ends of the earth, through life and death and Paradise. I need you to stay here with me, so we can bring him here."
"You think he can sense me from Paradise?" he scoffed. "If he can, he's not trying to cross back."
Yami hesitated. "I don't know the limitations of my abilities here, Father. He could have crossed over to find you by now and I wouldn't know." He looked over his shoulder again. "I… I'm sorry. I've only ever done this once. I…I didn't even know if I could truly bring myself here by will alone."
Atem blinked, then nodded slightly. It wasn't worth asking about. Yami would tell him when he felt it was necessary.
Or perhaps he wouldn't.
He didn't think it mattered.
They just needed to find Yugi.
"What if he would rather remain here?" he asked uncertainly, pain and guilt lacing through him. He froze there and Yami turned around to face him again, startled. Atem looked away. "What if he doesn't want to follow me back? What if this…hurts him?"
Yami blinked. "It'll hurt him one way or another. If Dimitri kills me or you, it'll hurt him a thousand times more than returning to a half-frozen body, Atem." He paused, then snorted. "Also, are we talking about the same dragon? He loves you more than anything. He dreamed about you nightly just to be able to see you when you were younger. He would think and talk about you constantly, no matter what happened. Even when he was telling stories, his mind would drift to you around his words. You can't truly think for even a moment he wouldn't want to return to your side."
Atem flicked his tail. "I keep hurting him."
His son faltered in surprise, then shook his head. "Yugi knew you'd be upset when he chose to help me. He knew you'd question your relationship with him. He knew you'd take it as a personal blow. He knew you'd be angry and bitter. It wasn't a question of whether it would happen, but whether it would keep you alive." He fell silent for a long moment. "He can wait for forgiveness. You know he can. You know he can wait just as long for that as he did for you to love him in turn. It makes no difference to him. You're alive. That was all he cared about."
He snarled softly. "What good it's done everyone for me to have survived so much," he scoffed, glowering. Yami stared unblinkingly back, studying him intently. Atem tossed his head angrily. "I couldn't even stop Dimitri doing this—"
"Yugi chose this." Yami slammed his tail into the ground, spitting with anger. "He chose to do this, damn it. He knew it would save you and give you time to prepare for Dimitri. He did it on his own and he knew he'd die for it. I'd forgotten until I stumbled upon his broken body. I saw this. I saw it once. I thought it would be stalled because Dimitri hadn't shown himself for a while. But I didn't realize he'd come when everyone was still distracted with the chaos of your war cry. I didn't realize and I should have known he'd come then. He comes when the worst distractions are available. Why shouldn't that be when he struck next? I wasted my time talking to Yusei and came to see you both and found instead that a vision I'd hoped was moot had come to pass."
Atem blinked and stared, ice coursing through him. He remembered for a moment then, Yami screaming at Yugi, "What did you just decide?" His skin crawled as he considered. How long had Yugi been determined to fight Dimitri on his own? Had there ever been a chance that he wouldn't and Atem could have gotten to him before Yugi did?
Yami hesitated again, then looked around and muttered, "He's…going to be different when he wakes."
Atem bristled. "What?"
"He might not remember everything." Yami paused and then began picking his way along once more. "And I…don't know how long it will take him to recover everything."
Atem shivered. "But he'll still be Yugi?" he blurted, amazed by the desperation in his voice. Yami startled and looked over his shoulder. Atem flexed his claws, snarling to hide the terror in his bones. "He'll still be Yugi?"
Yami blinked. "Yes," he whispered, staring at him in surprise. For a split second he seemed to reconsider his words, then turned away again. "I just don't know how quickly he'll recover his memories. That's all I meant. I'm sorry for scaring you."
Atem wished he could have spat that he hadn't.
Instead he snapped, "I don't care if he doesn't remember immediately. I can wait for him to recall things."
"What if he never does?"
"Is that a possibility?"
Yami fell silent. "I don't know," he admitted. "I shared my heart with Timaeus and he remembered. I don't know if he would have had I failed to."
"Yugi can have my damn hearts," Atem spat, and snarled when Yami looked over with wide eyes. "What use are they if he's dead?"
He searched his face. "Yugi wouldn't want you to sacrifice yourself for him like that."
"He died. What do I care for his opinion if this fails?" he snapped. "You won't need me when Dimitri is dead. Timaeus can take care of you where I fail."
He whipped around as if Atem had stung him. "Timaeus is not my father. Timaeus… You can't compare yourself to him when everything is so completely different," he spat in turn. "And I don't want to replace you with him or anyone else. I still need you. You're my father, Atem."
"That means so much after two years," Atem snarled before he could stop himself. Yami whipped around with a scowl and shame coursed through him before he bristled, stepping forward and barely preventing himself roaring with agony. "You both did this to me. You both chose to shelter me like some kind of hatchling. You chose to lie and deceive me and then sacrifice yourselves."
Yami blinked and lashed his tail, hitting him in the shoulder with the end before straightening and huffing a breath. "Yugi thought you worth this world and the next. Are you really going to make his sacrifice be in vain? Just because you're upset that he loved you enough to fight Dimitri?" he hissed, bristling and glaring at him once more. "You think he wants you to wallow away for nothing? He gave you a second chance at life."
"A second chance, third, two hundredth, two thousandth. What's the difference?" Atem huffed when Yami looked over his shoulder and bristled more pointedly. "It's still all a waste."
Yami faltered. "How? How is it a waste? He loved you enough to give his life for yours and you think that's a waste?"
"My life could never be worth his."
His son stared for a long moment, opening and closing his mouth, and then looked away. "Well, Yugi believed it was."
"He also seemed to think I hung the moon and stars," Atem scoffed, and even he noticed how tired and despaired he sounded. Yami faltered a step but continued forward after a moment. "He also believed I could protect him or you from anything that might have come about. I don't see that I haven't failed on multiple fronts."
Yami hesitated. "Leaving and deceiving you… That has nothing to do with your ability to protect me, Yugi, or yourself. It was inevitable that Dimitri got his claws in Yugi's flesh." He shivered. "Just as it seems inevitable he'll sink his teeth into yours and mine. I prevented you dying once. And I didn't see Yugi and Dimitri. I was…watching you. I should have realized he would come when he heard that war cry and saw the way the heavens began twisting like that."
Atem faltered. "Me? Why?"
His son didn't answer for a long time.
"It doesn't matter," he said finally, glancing over his shoulder and offering an awkward, strained smile. "It's almost second nature to see what you're doing."
He scoffed, "You should have been checking on Yugi."
"I wouldn't have been able to see him around Dimitri. He's learned a few small tricks to keep me from being able to spy on him. Of course, he'd have determined to fight and kill Yugi, so maybe I would have had a chance." Yami turned around and jumped forward as if he were afraid Atem might launch himself at him. The idea seemed beyond him for the moment, but he found himself wondering all the same. He could have easily struck him. Maybe it was wise to move further ahead. Hadn't he knocked him across the ground when he'd demanded he help Yugi? "But I… I didn't even consider he'd want to fight Yugi. I don't know why I overlooked it. It… I'm stupid for thinking it wouldn't happen."
He wanted to argue, but the words wouldn't come.
Atem looked away.