At a scrapyard, an elevator rises to the deck of a partly disassembled flying aircraft carrier. On deck, Dingo escorts Lana, her mouth taped shut and her hands bound, behind Ajax.

"Put her down over here," Ajax said. Dingo forces Lana to her knees and secures her cable-tied wrists to a piece of metal. She begins to mumble something underneath the tape. Ajax nods towards Dingo when she's completed securing Lana. "Go on then." Angel rips the tape off Lana's mouth.

"Thanks, dickless," she said, turning towards Ajax. "And I mean you."

"Wow. You're a talker too. You and Archer."

"I've been trying to tell you assholes, you've got the wrong girl. My old boyfriend, he's dead."

"See, I thought that too. But he keeps on coming back. Like a cockroach, but uglier." Lana stares, surprised, as Ajax steps toward her. "Now, I may not feel, but he does. Let's see how he fights with your head on the block."

At Woodhouse's School, Deadpool arrives at the door. He's about to knock, but Cheryl opens it before he gets the chance.

"Ripley, from Alien 3!" Deadpool said.

"Said Ripley to the Android Bishop," she said, before retracting from the remark. "No, that doesn't work. Let's just say you're old."

Deadpool cackles. "Fake laugh. Hiding real pain. Go get Silver Balls."

"You guys going for a bite? Early bird special?" she asked, sarcastically.

"Oh, like there's something wrong with eating before sundown or saving money?" His mood turns serious. "No, you know that bad guy that you let go? He's got my girl. You're gonna help me get her back."

"Archer, is that you?" Cyril asked from the other room.

Deadpool begins yelling. "Yeah, it's me, Deadpool, and I got an offer that you can't refuse." Negasonic Teenage Warhead narrows her eyes at Deadpool. "I'm gonna wait out here, okay? It's a big house. It's funny that I only ever see two of you. It's almost like the studio couldn't afford another X-Man."

We're shown Farooq's taxi rounding a corner with Deadpool seated in the passenger seat while Colossus and NTW are situated in the back, with Colossus drinking a smoothie.

"And that is why, in my opinion, the movie Cocoon is pure pornography," Deadpool said, as he fills a guy with ammunition before placing it in a Shazam-themed backpack.

"Who brought the twinkly guy?" Farooq asked, inferring towards Colossus.

"Twinkly, but deadly," Deadpool clarified. "My chrome-penised friend back there has agreed to do me this solid. In exchange, I said that I would consider joining his boy band."

"It's not a boy band, Archer," Colossus claimed.

"Sure it's not," Archer said, clearly adamant about his statement. He sighs loudly before turning towards Farooq. "So, any luck winning Nanjiani back?"

Farooq inhales deeply before answering. "I tried to hold on tight, Mr. Pool, but Kumail is craftier and handsomer than me."

"Well, I think you're pretty darn cute," Deadpool said, gaining a smile from Colossus due to this momentary bit of kindness from the Merc with a Mouth.

At that moment, the cab hits a pothole, causing it to bounce as sparks fly when it skids along the pavement. A loud thud in heard from within the trunk, with a scream following soon afterwards, causing Farooq to wince.

"Farooq," Deadpool began, eyeing Farooq suspiciously. "What was that?"

"Uh…" Farooq began, nervous. "That was Kumail in the trunk."

Colossus, hearing this, becomes bewildered. "Ku- Who?"

"My romantic rival Kumail. He's tied up in the trunk. I'm doing as you said, DP. I plan to gut him like a mackerel, then dump his carcass on Nanjiani's doorstep."

Deadpool turns towards Colossus in the backseat, trying to cover up what was implied to have gone down between him and Farooq. "I did not tell him to do that. Absolutely not. It got lost in translation." Colossus looks incredulous as Deadpool turns towards Farooq. "Farooq, this is no way to win Nanjiani's heart back!" Secretly whispering to Farooq. "I'm so proud of you." In a normal tone. "Drop Kumail off, safe and gentle-like." Secretly whispering to Farooq. "Kill him." In a normal tone. "And then, win Nanjiani back… the old-fashioned way: with your boyish charm." Secretly whispering to Farooq. "Kidnap her." Normal voice. Negasonic Teenage Warhead turns towards Colossus, both of them obviously having heard everything Deadpool said. While Colossus looks disturbed, NTW looks quite pleased by the word play that occurred between Deadpool and Farooq

"He's super dead," Negasonic Teenage Warhead said.

Farooq pulls to a stop in the scrapyard. "I presume a crisp high five?" he asked, holding up his hand.

"For you? Ten," Deadpool answers, holding up two hands, which Farooq accepts. He turns towards the backseat. "Okay, guys, let's get out there and make a difference," he told Colossus and NTW in an unusually cheery tone before turning back towards Farooq, whispering in a morbid demeanor. "You know what to do." He swipes his finger across his throat, indicating his intentions in regards towards Farooq's handling of Kumail, prompting Farooq to give him a thumbs up in understanding.

"Knock 'em dead, Pool Boy!" Farooq yelled out as Deadpool climbs out of the car.

Deadpool, staring down his objective, rubs his hands in preparation. "Time to make the chimi-fuckin'-changas." Colossus and Negasonic Teenage Warhead climb out of the taxi soon afterwards as Farooq drives away. Deadpool begins speaking through voiceover as the trio begin walking towards the final battle. "Not often a dude ruins your face, skull-stomps your sanity, grabs your future baby mama, and personally sees to four of your five shittiest moments. Let's just say, it's beginning to look a lot like Christmas."

In slow motion, Deadpool, Colossus, and Negasonic Teenage Warhead strut through the scrapyard as DMX's 'X Gon' Give It to Ya' plays in the background. We're shown the look of determination on their faces as they walk towards the aircraft carrier until Negasonic Teenage Warhead glances at Deadpool

"Hey," she said, disrupting the moment and silencing the music. "Where's your duffle bag?" Deadpool's eyes widen as he whips his head, realizing he left all his ammunition with Farooq.

In his taxi, Farooq fumbles for his ringing phone; the incoming call 'Mr. Pool'.

At the scrapyard, Deadpool paces with his phone, waiting for Farooq to pick up.

Back with Farooq, we see a truck come out in front of him from an alley, resulting in him breaking hard to avoid hitting a truck, resulting in a car rear ending him due to not having a big enough reaction time. Several screams are heard from the trunk, prompting Farooq to turn his head in worry. "Kumail?"

At the scrapyard, Deadpool a finger in NTW's ear, which she shoves in further, causing him to pull away in disgust.

"Leave a message. Don't have a good day, have a great day." Farooq's voicemail responded.

"God damm it!" Deadpool angrily yells out as he puts his phone back into one of his packs. He then turns back towards the aircraft carrier, determined. "I'm gonna do this the old-fashioned way: with two swords..." He cracks his neck in anticipation. "And maximum effort."

"Phrasing, boom!" Cheryl loudly proclaims

"Thank you." He turns back towards the camera. "Cue the music."

'X Gon' Give It to Ya' resumes playing as the trio strut towards the aircraft carrier, ready to end things once and for all.