Chapter Eleven
Regina Mills had never been so embarrassed in her life, more so as the events of the previous night came back to her with increasing clarity.
The whole 'we've done it before' was certainly not one of her finest moments nor was how desperately she wanted her pregnant ex-girlfriend to kiss her at that moment.
In the cold, hard, sobering daylight, it was more obvious to her why she'd been resisting the impulse to be that close to her again.
Making it all infinitely worse was how badly she wished that Emma hadn't been so quick to put an end to the kiss that could have gone so much further if she let it.
It was undoubtedly the right thing to do, but it wasn't like Emma was prone to doing the right thing lately.
The complicated swirl of emotions that came with both hating Emma Swan and a deep need to kiss her annoyingly attractive face led her to the one place that she was hoping would distract her.
She would usually go straight to school work (including extra credit when necessary) but that wouldn't work with the headache pounding its way through the effects of the aspirin provided during one of the most awkward breakfasts of her life.
With the excuse of academia to hold her attention she instead chose to go somewhere that she'd not been to in a while because her girlfriend was afraid of horses.
Emma had tried multiple times to have dates at the stables until Regina assured her that it wasn't necessary that she face her fear for her.
It didn't give her much time to visit Rocinante, the stallion gifted to her by her father around five years ago.
Her stomach twisted as she approached though it was unclear whether this was because she felt nauseous or because of the guilt from abandoning her horse, but she persevered either way.
Rocinante was exactly the kind of silent support she needed but what she wasn't expecting was to find someone already brushing his mane.
Halting, she briefly considered whether she could back away unseen but the illusion that this was possible was shattered as her father called, brightly, "What an unexpected surprise, Regina."
"Good morning, Daddy," Regina replied tightly, barely catching the brush that was tossed to her as the older man continued to work his own side of the horse's mane.
Henry Mills frowned at her as she blinked a couple of times before beginning to do the same to Rocinante's other side, running her other hand through his hair.
If she was alone, it may have had the calming effect that she was looking for; under her father's critical gaze, however, it was the opposite.
"Is something wrong, Regina?" he asked, confirming that she was being far from subtle.
"Headache," she replied, vaguely.
Henry hUmmed, "Induced by how many shots?"
"What…I would never…" Regina stammered with widened eyes.
Henry held up his hand and Regina slowly realised that there was indeed a soft smile playing across his lips. It certainly wasn't the kind of disappointment or rage she had envisioned should either of her parents find out what she was up to the previous night.
"I have enough experience of my own, there is nothing you could say that would convince me," he said, strangely calm.
Regina was far too tired to figure out whether this was some kind of trick so she just kept her eyes firmly on the horse and mumbled, "I'm sorry."
"There is no need to apologise, " he said airily and Regina's eyes shot up to make sure that he was being genuine, "If there is a next time though, I would prefer that you call for a ride home rather than hiding at Mal's."
Overcome by the support and understanding, Regina glanced away and admitted, "I was at Mal's."
The man paused and then replied, "Oh?" obviously going for casual.
Regina could have stopped while she was ahead but the support she'd received thus far made it seem like a good time to bring up the topic that had been so skilfully avoided with every other member of the Mills family up until this point.
"I wanted to see Emma," she said stiffly.
Henry tilted his head but didn't appear overly surprised by the admission.
"I see," he replied and after a pause, he swiped the brush through the mane that was well and truly untangled at this point.
"That's it?" Regina asked, "You're not going to ground me?"
"Of course not, Regina," he said, finally discarding the brush to come around to the same side of Rocinante as her, "I only hope that you won't feel the need to lie about your location in the future."
Hunching her shoulder, Regina defended, "Mom hates Emma, I thought it would just be…easier…"
"I was under the impression that you felt the same way about Emma?"
Dragging her teeth across her bottom lip, Regina leaned against her father, "It's…impossible to hate her. Is that wrong?"
"The way you feel is never wrong," he replied.
"It is confusing though," Regina sighed/
"I would imagine it is," he agreed.
It was his least helpful response yet so Regina at last allowed the direct question that had been plaguing her to come out, "Do you think I could be friends with my pregnant ex-girlfriend?"
Henry pursed his lips for half a second but settled on replying, "Is that what you want?"
"I think so?" Regina ventured uncertainly.
"Then absolutely you can," he said, peeling away, "Did you want to ride Rocinante? I find it always helps to clear my mind."
A soft smile adorned her face and she nodded, beginning to assist in strapping the saddle securely onto the horse.
At the same moment, it occurred to her that she should probably plan to call Belle and apologise for the previous night. Perhaps going as far as asking her to lunch could make it easier to be friends with Emma Swan?
S
Emma felt blessed that Granny's diner was as slammed as ever for breakfast and then lunch, it gave her very little time to dwell on the event of the previous night.
Her mind was clouded by thoughts of Regina Mills as it usually was but the kiss followed by the cuddling session just turned the dial passed 100.
It made the impossible no longer feel quite so implausible anymore, not when she knew that Regina so obviously still felt for her.
Could they actually be together again one day?
The endless orders and customer queries meant that she had no opportunity to fall down that mental rabbit hole.
As lunch wound down, that privilege slipped away, especially as she was approaching the next thing on her to-do list for this particular day.
How was she supposed to avoid thinking about Regina when she was soon to be sitting in her bedroom finalising their project?
Just as she began the process of packing away her bag to begin the march to Milfin Street, she was distracted by the bell over the door heralding the arrival of yet another customer.
Neal approached the counter with shoulders slumped and plopped down with a groan.
Poking him with a pencil, Emma asked, "You okay?"
Neal balanced his chin on his crossed arms and replied, "Just tired, apparently Dad doesn't believe in giving his own son the easy work."
Emma hummed, "Your nepotism not working out for you?"
Neal grabbed a napkin, balling it up and throwing it ineffectively at her, "Very funny," he grumbled.
Emma laughed as it fell to her feet and offered, "Want some coffee?"
"Yes please," Neal pleaded, pulling the mug into himself as soon as it was placed in front of him.
Returning to the task of shoving her stuff into her bag, Emma asked, "You're coming to my scan tomorrow, right?"
"Definitely," Neal replied, frowning at her bag, "You leaving early?"
"I have a project meeting with Regina."
The response did nothing for his frown and Emma had to assume that it was because it wasn't accompanied by a patent Regina-related sigh.
"So she hasn't banished you yet?"
Emma shrugged as she removed her apron, "We're civil."
Neal cocked his head, preventing her from slinging her bag over her shoulder as she waited for the incoming question.
"Is that all?" Neal pressed.
"What is that supposed to mean?" Emma huffed.
Neal laced his fingers around his mug, though it sounded as though it wasn't the first time he'd thought about the words coming out of him, even with the hint of uncertainty:
"If you two wanted to…you know…I would be happy for you but I just think I need to prepare myself if Regina Mills is going to be in my life for a while."
Emma pressed her lips into a thin line as she shouldered the bag.
She hadn't exactly thought that far ahead to consider that all of her decisions from now on were important. Any future girlfriend would have to deal with her son and his father, surely that was going to make it impossible to date until she was sufficiently old enough for that arrangement to be more plausible.
What high school or even college student would want to deal with that whole situation?
"You have nothing to worry about, we're just studying," she promised while retreating, "I'll see you later."
"Sure," Neal replied disbelievingly, noting the blush adorning her cheeks as she went by. He was about to slouch and attempt to enjoy his break and coffee but promptly found himself flanked on either side almost as soon as the bell announced Emma's departure.
"What did you find out?" Killian demanded without pretence.
"Nothing," Neal replied, rolling his eyes.
He was not nearly as invested as the pair was but promised to try and get some information to get them to leave him alone, which didn't seem to be working right now.
"We need to know what happened after the party!" Daniel insisted.
"You know, we don't really have that kind of relationship," Neal defended, "We're just…"
"Having a baby together?" Killian offered the edge of accusation officially putting an end to the conversation and Neal's desire to finish his drink.
Slipping off the stool, he abandoned the mug and silently left after rolling his eyes as Killian and Daniel shared an exasperated look.
S
Emma Swan always had quite the nervous disposition, which she learned to mask, especially when she had everything she wanted.
Now that had changed and she was worried about almost everything.
School. Work. Pregnancy. Eventually being a mother. Having enough money to not be a complete burden to her parents for the foreseeable future. The seemingly insurmountable task of getting into college at the same time as her peers.
None of that was currently bothering her as she once again approached the mayoral mansion.
She had no idea how she was supposed to face Regina after the previous night, at least in the morning she had her mother as a buffer.
In a few minutes, they were set to be alone in a room together and Emma had no idea how Regina wanted to play this.
Would she want to deny that the night before ever happened? Never discuss it again and stick to finishing their project.
Once they submitted their work, there would be no reason for them to talk to each other again as long as they could avoid being paired for the rest of their time at Storybrooke High School.
The other option would be to talk about what it meant, how much of a mistake the kiss was and how Regina couldn't feel the same way as she claimed to. How Emma's actions and lies meant that they no longer had a chance to be together.
Emma was aware of all of that logically but she would prefer not to hear the words aloud when she had so much else to contend with.
Luckily on this occasion, it was the patriarch of the house who opened the door.
Emma always got the sense that he liked her and her brief interactions with him since the break up had certainly been icy but he was much more capable of hiding his outright disdain than his wife was.
Today, Emma could almost swear that he was going as far as directing a soft smile at her but she didn't look up long enough to determine whether she was imagining things.
As she discovered early on, it was much easier to keep her gaze on her feet as she headed up the stairs to knock on her ex-girlfriend's bedroom door.
The last few times, she knocked without giving herself time to delay, today she did hesitate.
She was too consumed with remembering the feeling of Regina's lips on her own, which was clearer in her mind than it had been for months. She made a conscious effort to push it aside.
She could hardly flee now that she was already here, she might as well get through this and then deal with never getting to talk to her again after.
After swallowing hard, she at last knocked and entered the familiar room.
As usual, Regina was set up on her bed at the centre of a ring of notebooks and textbooks. Unlike every other time though, she had her head propped up on her hand and Emma was certain that her drunken sleep was not enough.
"Hey," Emma called, receiving a weak smile from the other girl who appeared to be barely cognisant of her presence for a second as she dragged her attention away from the book she was reading. The look was enough permission for Emma to come over and sit on her side of the bed as she began to pull out her laptop, "Are you feeling better?"
Regina twirled her pen a few times, an adorable action that Emma used to love watching. It meant that the usually certain girl was thinking over something, in this moment, Emma was certain that she was attempting to find a way to ignore what had happened the night before.
Eventually, Regina replied, "I am…thank you."
Emma nodded, as she opened her laptop, quickly finding their work thus far.
"So, do you want to start with…"
"Actually," Regina cut her off, "I…wanted to apologise for last night."
Emma's mouth dried, certain that this wouldn't come up unless she was the one to mention it. Still, she managed to come up with a gracious response, "It's okay, I get it. You didn't mean it so we don't need to talk about it."
Throughout this, she kept her eyes on the screen, sure that this line of conversation would pass, that the apology would be enough to assuage Regina's guilt for the inconvenience of the previous night.
It couldn't be that she actually felt what her drunk self claimed to, that would be too lucky after everything that had happened and there would be too much to figure out anyway.
Regina Mills wanted to go to Harvard, she couldn't have a pregnant girlfriend and she certainly couldn't be interested in becoming a step-mother anytime soon.
Regina continued to buck her expectations as she continued the non-Shakespeare-related line of discussion, insisting, "I do need to say sorry, Emma. You said you were drunk and I didn't understand but…I get it now. I know you didn't mean to hurt me…"
Emma blinked, unable to look at the screen anymore as she took in the sincerity behind the hazel staring back at her.
It was all she wanted to hear since their argument so she had to touch her bump to remind herself of the reasons that they were unlikely to get back together no matter how much Regina now understood.
Perhaps they could be friends now that she knew that she hadn't meant to hurt her? The possibility flushed hope through Emma's system.
"I really didn't," Emma confirmed.
Regina wrung her hands together and Emma had to assume that she had been planning this talk all day, which made her heart soar. This was obviously important to her.
"Do you think…" Regina said, stumbling over her words and picking at the duvet, "Could we be…friends?"
Emma allowed a broad smile to spread across her face, all anxiety she felt on her way to the mansion drifting away.
Resisting her desire to touch Regina in some way to affirm how much this meant to her, Emma settled for replying, "I would likely like that."
Regina hesitated for a few seconds before reaching over to her bedside table to pick up a packet that Emma hadn't registered before now.
Handing over the gummy bears, she said, "I got these for you. I hope they're the right ones?"
Grinning more than she had in a while, Emma accepted the candy and replied, "They're perfect, thank you, Regina."