Chapter 9: Soulmates

Spock found it difficult to act normally. It was hard for him not to think about Jim and be affected by the situation. He was torn between his feelings and his duty. Logic would dictate that it was natural for him to be disturbed by what his T'hy'la was going through. Yet he was his captain, and so it was also logical that he should hold his position impartially.

Lieutenant Flemmings was continuing his investigation and had stopped keeping him informed of its progress. The case was solved, there was no doubt as to the guilt of the prisoners. It was the first time the Enterprise had received new prisoners since their departure. Spock had to organize their disembarkation.

As soon as the report was completed, he would send it to Starfleet with permission to land the prisoners on Filandria. After that, Starfleet would send him instructions to follow. This incident could be damaging for Jim. A mutinous captain would suggest that he was a captain who didn't know how to maintain authority over his crew, and whose command skills weren't up to scratch.

He worried about the impact it would have on Jim's career. He was also worried about the effect it would have on his mind. Lately, Jim had been more emotionally and psychologically fragile. Spock thought he'd done what was necessary to make the situation right, and it had worked. His analysis was wrong.

Since Jim had rejected him, Spock hadn't returned to see him. In order to preserve Jim's ego, he hadn't gone to visit him while he was dependent on a machine to live. Waiting was hard. Spock felt this need, deep down, to see Jim again. But he had to give him time. Three days had passed since then. And his need to see him again, to touch him, to hear his voice was cruelly felt in every pore of his skin.

Spock had never thought that fighting his deepest instincts would be so difficult. That staying reasoned and clear-headed would be a constant struggle. His skin tingled constantly and so irritatingly while his thoughts revolved only around his captain. He had to go. He forced himself to return his attention to the deck. He turned his gaze to the navigators on his right:

"Has the reliability of our scanners improved, Lieutenant Minh? "

The latter turned to answer him:

"They're still jammed, Commander. They're only reporting 28% of the data. "

They were still in the danger zone and couldn't afford to be blind. Now that the main repairs had been carried out, the secondary problems had to be solved. He used his PADD to send the note to the technical department to find out the origin of the disturbances, which seemed to be separate from the storms.

Just as he sent the note, he received one. The sender's name told Spock that the investigation was definitely closed, and the report was finally complete. He opened it, feeling an eagerness to understand what had happened between the three players in the conflict.

"Commander. "

Spock rose to face Lieutenant Flemmings.

"Lieutenant. "

"I've sent you the full report. I've also sent a copy to the Captain. For... a matter of protocol. "

Spock nodded.

"You did the right thing. Thank you, Lieutenant. "

The latter nodded, and Spock noticed the sadness on his face. He turned and stopped just outside the bridge doors.

"I failed the Captain. I should have paid more attention to my men. "

The bridge fell silent. The Chief Security Lieutenant felt guilty. It didn't have to be this way.

"It's not your fault, Lieutenant Flemmings. The Captain knows that. You did everything you could. You're not responsible for their actions. "

Flemmings turned back to him, nodded in gratitude and walked out the door. Spock returned to the command chair and consulted the report.

The case against the two assailants seemed strong. Ensign Hedik and Ensign Caleb had obviously joined forces to exact revenge on the Captain. Spock was discovering a side of the story he'd never known before. The report mentioned dozens of messages sent to the Captain with the aim of harassing him.

The more he read, the angrier he became. Spock didn't understand what he was reading. He didn't understand the way the ensigns acted, and he didn't understand Jim's lack of reaction. He didn't understand why there hadn't been a complaint filed earlier, why there hadn't been an investigation before, why Jim had never told him about it.

Spock read all the harassing messages. Without exception. He was alert to every detail of the exhibits, the testimony, and among these, the testimony concerning Doctor McCoy was substantial. And this was too much. Unchecked by reason, Spock dashed for the turbolift and left the upper deck without a word.

Doctor McCoy knew the story. He hadn't acted. If he had, he could have prevented the attack. Jim had been seriously injured and the incident could have been avoided. His rage blinded him completely as he moved swiftly through the corridors. His footsteps led him straight to the medical deck.

He focused on Doctor McCoy as he arrived, unconsciously ignoring everything else.

"You knew and you let it happen? "

Spock ignored the fact that his voice rose several tones. Across from him, the doctor rose and turned his head toward Janice and Christine, who were obviously just standing there.

"Leave us alone. "

The Vulcan didn't take in the worried look the two women gave him before leaving the room. McCoy turned his attention back to the Vulcan in front of him. Spock continued accusingly:

"How could you let this happen without intervening? Jim almost died! You could have stopped him! "

McCoy faced him. Spock felt the deep urge to vent all his anger on him, to the point of physical violence.

"Jim was in control! I thought letting him do as he wished was the best solution! He's also Captain, dammit! It's his decision! "

"You were wrong! He almost died because of your lack of reactivity! He's your captain and your friend! You should have acted! "

Spock and McCoy glared at each other. They were so wound up that their bodies were tense, ready to react to the slightest blow that would go off.

"I know! I know, damn it! I already regret not doing more! He's my best friend! "

"You should have been with him, you should have gone with him! What kind of friend are you to let him expose himself to such danger!? "

It was too much for the doctor.

"Fuck you! "

McCoy swept everything off the desk with a wave of his arm to release his anger. He continued:

"I've always been there for Jim! And I still will be, unlike you! " (His tone changed, becoming contemptuous). "You... you don't deserve his esteem. You've got a nerve coming here to yell at me when you've let him down! "

Spock didn't like the tone the Doctor had taken. Nor his words. He clenched his fists.

"What do you mean? "

"Stop taking us for fools! Take responsibility for your actions! Take responsibility for the fact that, because of your behavior, he didn't confide in you! " (He sighed, trying to regain his composure). "We thought you were honest. Jim... I pushed him towards you. I thought you'd help him. I was wrong about everything. I never thought you'd stab him in the back again. "

Spock's anger subsided for a few seconds as he assimilated the Doctor's words, which didn't echo his thoughts. Instead, confusion reigned.

" « Stab in the back? » "

McCoy snarled, raising his voice again:

"Stop with your antics! Jim knows all about you! About this job transfer thing, this Vulcan soul mate bullshit and so on! Jim knows. And not from you. "

Spock's temperature dropped several degrees. He understood what the doctor was talking about and realized the magnitude of the situation. His anger was swept away in an instant, replaced by a fear unlike any he'd known.

"I've got to talk to him. "

He turned and was stopped in his tracks by the Doctor's arm, who gave him a menacing look:

"I forbid you. You're the last person he wants to see on this ship. "

Every word was weighed. Spock violently disengaged himself from the Lieutenant's grip, sending him tumbling to the floor. McCoy's head hit the console hard.

"You green-blooded bastard! Leave him alone! "

But the Vulcan had already left the room, passing half a dozen people whose gaze was fixed on him. The next moment, he was already in the corridors.

Spock had only one thing on his mind: to talk to Jim. He had to. He absolutely had to explain before their relationship broke down. He couldn't bear the rejection. Now that he'd realized there was a good chance of that happening, fear gripped him. He didn't want to lose Jim. One way or another.

He rang the intercom in Jim's quarters. No answer. He pressed on. No answer. Jim probably wanted privacy. He then dialed the code that gave him access to the Captain's quarters in case of emergency. The situation called for it.

Jim was indeed present in his quarters. Sitting on his bed, one knee bent against his chest, he gazed out at the transparent walls overlooking space. He paid no attention to Spock as he walked toward him. The vulcan detailed his gaze, stepping forward cautiously.

The captain's features were marked by fatigue. His complexion was sallow, red circled his eyes and he hadn't shaved. He was wearing an old Starfleet Academy T-shirt and shorts. Spock could see a few stigmata still visible on the skin of his neck and face, and the presence of a bandage on his thigh protruded from his shorts.

He was a few feet away and could feel a deep sadness and pain that wasn't his own.

"Jim. "

He approached gently, feeling the change of emotions deep inside him. Spock felt invaded from within by a deep sadness and an immense sense of loneliness. He was part of the cause. He knew he was.

"Jim... "

The Captain turned his head completely to the glass so as not to see him.

"Captain, I-"

"Leave. "

Spock froze as he heard the voice he didn't recognize. Jim's voice was so broken it was almost a whisper, the sound of which had nothing fluid about it. It was as if the words were partly stuck in his throat.

"Go away! "

The last word was almost a breath. The pitch of his voice was so fluctuating that Spock realized he didn't have enough breath to maintain a humanly audible pitch. His hearing was fine enough for him to hear him.

Spock stepped forward. Jim flip-flopped, his blue eyes revealing his anger:

"Out! Leave me alone! "

Jim's voice cracked as he raised his voice, and his reflex was to put a hand to his throat. Spock kept his eyes fixed on the bluish intensity of his gaze. An echo of terrible memories when they'd met Khan's road. It pained him.

"I can't. "

His answer surprised him as much as it did Jim, which calmed the latter. Spock decided to go on.

"I've made mistakes, Jim. I haven't been there for you. "

Jim turned his head away, fleeing Spock's gaze. Spock felt a deep need to touch him. It was vital. He needed it. Without really realizing it, he came to sit on the edge of the bed.

"I beg your pardon. "

He put his hand on Jim's thigh, just under his bandage. His skin was warm. Spock felt the urge to caress it, to touch him even more. He forced himself to keep his hand still, even though he could clearly feel Jim's emotions. Pain, anger, fear. It was hard to manage. He kept his hand in contact with his skin despite the fact that Jim's emotions made his empathic barriers totally non-existent. He could take it in without being swayed.

"I'm here now. I'm not leaving. "

Jim wiped a tear from his cheek. He was still staring off into space. Spock's deepest instinct urged him to react. His reason stopped him. He watched Jim wipe away every tear that silently rolled down his cheek. The sight of his skin irritated by the repetitive rubbing made him react.

With one hand he stopped his gesture and with the other went for the back of his head, acting in such a way as not to hurt him.

"Spock... "

Jim's broken voice inhibited all his logical reasoning: he drew him against him, hugging him as the control Jim seemed to exert over himself exploded. Jim cried against his shoulder, clinging with all his strength to the Vulcan's uniform.

Jim vented all that was in his heart. Spock could feel the tears wetting his uniform and, despite the unpleasant sensation, he tightened his grip around Jim. Now that he had him against him, he didn't want to let go. He just couldn't. How could he have chosen to ignore this bond that had developed between them? Now that he was touching him, feeling all his emotions, it was impossible for him to let go.

He held Jim in his arms. He was invaded by his smell, his warmth, his emotions. His touch filled an emptiness Spock had never before suspected he had. He felt like he belonged. He felt complete. His katra was linked to Jim's. He could no longer fight against it. He could no longer fight it. He no longer had the strength, nor the desire. The attraction was too strong, now more than ever. His T'hy'la needed him and he had to respond.

His hand slipped into the blond hair and he held on with a firm grip. He lowered his head to Jim's, temple to temple. To feel so close to him in this way filled Spock. He could feel the soothing feeling gradually coming over him, and for his part, Jim calmed down in his arms. He calmed his breathing, relaxed his muscles and his grip, and pressed himself even closer to him.

Spock let his hand caress his locks, enjoying the soft, pleasant sensation between his fingers. Jim's warm breath could be felt through the layers of tissue, gradually slowing, resuming a steady rhythm. He couldn't count the number of times he'd thought about living this kind of moment, when he'd repressed this kind of craving. It felt good.

They stayed like that for a while, holding each other. Jim moved only to rub his eyes and wipe his face one last time. Neither of them wanted to break the silence. Jim felt better. Spock could feel it, and thinking about it, he was surprised that he could feel so many emotions that weren't his own. He didn't think the link would have allowed him that. He longed to understand how it worked. He wanted more.

He slid his hand toward Jim's and hesitated to touch it. Nyota had never liked it when he made contact of this nature with her. It had felt like it the moment they'd first done it, and after that, Spock hadn't done it again. But with Jim, it had been different. It had been easy to establish, the connection had been strong and the sense of well-being it had left him with had somehow fulfilled him.

He wanted to experience that feeling again. He wanted to share that intimacy with someone again, he wanted to be able to express that part of him he'd repressed for Nyota's sake. He wanted to share this moment with Jim. The more this idea gained ground, the more he felt the urge. But if Jim had a bad reaction... he wouldn't be able to accept it.

Spock pulled his hand back toward him. He didn't want to risk it. Jim had already rejected him several times, and he couldn't bear to be rejected for such an intimate request. He preferred to preserve what he already had: Jim in his arms, against him. There was only them.

He felt Jim move against him. The blond raised his hand and, hesitating in his turn, came for his own. Jim's grip was delicate. He began to caress his hand with his fingertips. Spock closed his eyes for a moment, appreciating the tenderness Jim was conveying. He was coming to him. Jim was offering him the opportunity to try.

He moved his hand, extending his index and middle fingers towards Jim's. Jim understood what he wanted to do. Jim understood what he wanted to do. He mimed his gesture and, after a second's hesitation, their fingertips touched in a Vulcan kiss. This contact, similar to mind-melding, enabled Vulcans to achieve a very intimate empathic exchange.

It was unlike anything Spock had ever experienced or imagined. He was overcome by a wave of affection, of need, of desire like he had never felt before. He wanted more. He was intoxicated by these sensations he was feeling, and it aroused his primal Vulcan instincts: the surge of possessiveness overrode everything else.

"Spock... "

Jim's enraged voice brought him back to the present moment. Their foreheads had come together, their noses touching, their lips only millimeters apart. Jim's breath had quickened. Spock didn't resist: he closed the distance.

Their lips brushed against each other before clinging. Jim's were luscious, tender, and a slightly salty taste accompanied them. The blond clung to his neck and back and deepened the kiss, pulling at his lips, nibbling, exploring with his tongue. Spock could feel this surge of desire between them and he didn't want to repress it. He'd been craving this for far too long, and now that he was aware of it, it was impossible for him to stop. Jim was his.

Spock gripped his hair tighter and firmed his grip on his hip. Jim tasted him, savored the tenderness of his flesh and burned for more. Spock could feel it all. It was intoxicating. Jim's pleasure was doing him a world of good.

Jim straightened, swinging his leg over Spock's other side to stand above him. Both his hands encircled the back of Spock's neck as Spock slipped one of his hands under Jim's shirt. His skin was hot beneath his fingers, quivering and incredibly soft. As they kissed more and more passionately, Spock imagined himself tasting the rest of his skin, caressing the different areas of his body, following every reaction Jim would have to bring him even more satisfaction and pleasure.

Spock felt a sharp pain that brought him out of his pleasure bubble. He had no physical injury to cause this kind of reaction. Not so the man he was kissing. He broke the kiss, but Jim grunted and reclaimed his lips. Spock felt himself returning to that bubble of pleasure. But the pain was still there. He broke away from him.

"Jim. "

He looked down at his still bandaged leg. He forced Jim to sit up to take the weight off his leg. It reminded him that he was still recovering.

"Take it easy. "

Jim grinned and was about to answer when the intercom buzzed. The pressure was prolonged and insistent. He got up from the bed.

"Stay there. "

The intonation was firm, but betrayed no negative sentiment. Spock nodded, watching Jim hobble toward the exit and disappear behind the door.

Jim ran a hand over his face before opening the door for Bones, who seemed to be getting excited about his doorbell. He stood in front of the doorframe before opening it.

"Jim! I'm gonna smoke this goddamn green-blood! "

Bones had the reflex to enter, but Jim didn't move a muscle. The doctor frowned, turning red with anger.

"Pointed Ears is here, isn't he? "

He nodded. Bones gritted her teeth.

"He came to yell at me in the infirmary. He smashed my head in, look at that lump! " (He turned to show an area on his skull). "I told him you knew everything. I wanted to stop him from coming to see you, but Christine held me back. " (He took a breath to calm himself). "He was crazy, Jim. Are you going to be all right with him? "

Jim nodded again. He had his own idea, as to what might have driven Spock mad. He had asked that the testimony only be included in the final report of his case. Flemmings had just turned in his report.

"What he did ? "

His voice had faded before he could complete his interrogative intonation. His phonatory faculties would take time to return, according to Doctor Yorek. So would the muscle recovery in his leg and arm. He was weary.

"He reproached me for not having acted, and for having let you consciously expose yourself to danger. The tone escalated. He wanted to go and see you, I wanted to hold him back. He sent me tumbling against the console to get out of the way. "

At least they hadn't hit each other. Jim ran a hand through his hair. He and Bones had already discussed the events and there was no need to revisit them. But this incident...

"Witnesses ?"

He preferred to save his words. He knew Bones would have no trouble understanding him. The latter grimaced.

"Janice, Christine and three other nurses were in the next room. They understood what had happened and I asked them to keep quiet. "

Jim nodded. The story could remain a simple quarrel, but from a Vulcan... Things had to be settled quickly.

"R'you pressing charges?" he asked rhetorically, following his duty as Captain.

Bones gritted her teeth.

"You know I'm not. But I'm furious with him. That damn goblin will pay! "

Jim didn't have the strength to smile.

"'Got it. "

The doctor looked annoyed.

"Jim, I didn't come here to give you the hot potato. I don't want Spock to make things worse... "

Jim laid a hand on Bones's shoulder.

"I can handle it. Not your fault. "

"The last time I let you, you almost died. "

Jim flashed a slight smile:

" It's Spock. "

Bones remained silent for a moment, thinking.

"I'll leave you alone until noon tomorrow. "

He nodded. Reluctantly, Bones turned back and Jim closed the door.

He let his forehead rest on the cold, metallic wall of the door. Spock. He resented him so much, and on the other hand, all he wanted was to go back to him. It was so contradictory that it irritated him. With what he'd just been through... he needed to keep his head on straight. Just a little longer.

In spite of himself, he brushed his lips with his fingertips, still feeling the presence of Spock's lips. He'd loved it. He wanted more, and he wanted to go further. The kind of cruel craving that would cost him his career if learned, and Spock's too. A Captain and a Number One of the same ship were not allowed to be intimate. Their professional judgment would be influenced by their relationship.

He thought back to what Bones had just told him and mentally flogged himself. They'd been influencing each other for quite some time now. And now it had led to kissing. Lovingly. Just the thought of it set his body on fire again. He took a deep breath and went to splash some water on his face to clear his head and recharge his batteries.

He returned to the room. Spock was still there, true to form, not having moved a muscle. Jim nodded for him to follow. He walked over to the table where they used to play chess and pulled out the chair to signal him to sit down. Spock complied without a word and Jim came to take a seat opposite. With the table between them, it would keep him from jumping on him. Jim felt hot just thinking about it.

He took a deep breath before launching in, aware that he was in danger of running out of words very quickly.

"Explain yourself. "

He was ready to have this conversation. Spock seemed to be on the same wavelength, for he nodded and began:

"I have made the observation of an emotional change I feel toward you. I wished to explore all options regarding the situation. One of them was to make a job transfer. There's been a mistake. I only asked about my options, Jim. In no way did I make a formal request. I'm truly sorry my actions were misinterpreted. "

Jim felt his heart clench. Even if it wasn't intentional, it still hurt. He nodded.

"Is this because of our... bond? "

Spock cocked his head to the side.

"What do you know? "

Jim looked around the room and nodded at the book Uhura had shown him.

"I've read it all. "

Spock looked at the book. His brows furrowed for a moment.

"Nyota. "

The Vulcan turned his head back toward him. Jim nodded. Spock continued.

"There is no longer any doubt that our katras are linked. To you, that sounds like a bond-" "Soul mates. "

Spock nodded. Jim felt a warmth come over him. He liked the idea, but it also frightened him terribly. He scratched the back of his neck, searching for his words before launching into them. Now that they'd put words to their bond, now that they'd kissed, he had to be honest. He took a deep breath:

"I have more than friendly feelings for you. Probably more than just physical attraction. "

There, he'd said it. With an ending that was barely audible, but enough for Vulcan ears. Jim felt as if he'd thrown himself into the void without a parachute. Across from him, Spock remained unmoved, for a change. Jim cleared his throat and continued:

"My attitude is unprofessional. I'm considering... changing my position. "

His voice trailed off. He rose to pour himself a glass of water, turning his back on Spock. His throat burned every time he spoke too long. He massaged his throat a little to clear away the irritation.

"You don't have to sacrifice your position because of my Vulcan nature. "

Jim felt a pang go through his heart.

"I've seen enough of this job. "

He drank from his glass again. He didn't hear Spock approach him.

"Don't blame yourself for the person you are. Everyone should be able to feel free to be who they are. Vulcan or human nature. And this is about my feelings. "

Jim was firm. He would never allow Spock to flog himself because of his origins. He had already suffered too long from being born of a union between a human and a Vulcan. It was still very much ingrained in Spock's being, even decades later, even through a parallel world. He affirmed his words.

"My feelings, my responsibility. "

He felt Spock's warmth at his back, but he didn't turn toward him. Then he felt Spock's head rest gently against his. He closed his eyes.

"If I leave, maybe we could... "

Spock's hand turned his head. The next moment, he was kissing him with a passion that made Jim lose all reason.

He clung to Spock and kissed him fiercely. Their tongues mingled, their teeth biting their lips, their breath one. Jim felt his blood boiling in his veins, heat invading his whole body. The desire he'd repressed for so long exploded at Spock's touch. It was as if an invisible barrier had just broken, and all the emotions Jim had kept to himself poured out. He wanted Spock.

He wanted to nibble the tips of his ears, lick the skin of his neck, crunch his nipples, grip his hips with his fingernails to suck his skin, and... way too many other things.

He glued his pelvis to Spock. Their sexes were hard and Jim couldn't help rubbing against the Vulcan. The latter let out a grunt that made Jim shudder. Spock slipped his hands under his shirt and slid it up to remove it.

The garment had barely fallen to the floor when Jim felt Spock grab him by the hips and guide him toward the bedroom. He let himself do it, pulling on Spock's polo shirt and T-shirt in turn. He was so excited by the situation that nothing else existed but Spock's tailored body, his hands, his mouth. He pulled away for a moment to look at the torso, biting his lip in envy.

His gaze flickered between Spock's hard nipples, his shaped pecs, his trimmed abs and that V-shaped line that descended below the belt. He caressed with his fingertips the Vulcan snake tattooed on Spock's right pectoral, a Vulcan symbol he'd seen before in Uhura's book. His contemplation was halted by Spock, who retrieved his lips and pulled him toward the bed. The movement tugged at his leg, and for a moment he felt as if his wound had given him an electric shock.

Spock gave a firmer tug with his teeth and pulled away. Jim knew the Vulcan would rather pull back than hurt him. That was out of the question. He gripped the brown hair and retrieved his mouth, his second hand busily undoing his uniform pants.

They got rid of their respective stockings before lying down on the bed. Spock lay on top of Jim, letting his lips roam over his neck. Jim closed his eyes, letting himself be overwhelmed by all the sensations he was feeling. He was literally burning with desire. He was hot, he felt cramped in his boxers and all he wanted was to be one with Spock.

He felt intoxicated by a flood of powerful emotions that made his head spin. Jim felt this wild urge to take possession of Spock's body, to mark it, to claim it as his own. It was so strong, and so true and damn, so exciting.

Jim let out a groan when he felt Spock sucking on his skin below his collarbone. He clung to Spock's hair and sought his mouth to anchor himself to reality. All he felt when Spock kissed him again was pure possessiveness. The feeling filled Jim. Then the Vulcan lips withdrew.

Jim straightened up in turn. Turning Spock back on the bed, he attacked one of his nipples without delay, titillating with his tongue, sucking, nibbling. He was wildly aroused by Spock's short breath and by the simple fact that his grip on his shoulder and hip were firmer. Jim let his teeth rasp the skin of his ribs, licked his hips, went under the edge of his boxers. It was as if he were mad with desire.

Spock was just as excited as he was. His underwear was wet with excitement and at the sight of it, Jim had only one thought in mind: to come and taste Spock, keep his manhood in hand and bring pleasure to the Vulcan. He wanted to hear his sighs of pleasure, his voice as he moaned, he wanted to see his body shudder under his tongue strokes.

He was so excited by the situation that he himself let out a moan when her tongue touched the soft skin of his glans. Spock held his breath as Jim slowly licked the greenish head of his sex. The morphology of Vulcans was similar to that of humans, with the exception of a heart instead of a liver, two stomachs and the high copper content of their blood, giving it its green color. The genitalia were the same. As a result, Jim knew exactly what to do with his mouth and fingers.

Preserving his throat, Jim was careful as he sucked Spock's hard member. It tressed occasionally in his hand, pulsing under the waves of pleasure he was giving him. Jim revelled in the pleasure he was giving Spock, both witnessing his reactions and feeling his sensations. Watching the Vulcan lose control and let himself go totally to his emotions excited Jim to no end.

Jim pulled away for a few seconds, gasping for breath. Spock took the opportunity to flip him onto his back again, the movement accompanied by a rip in the fabric. Jim was naked under Spock in less than two seconds.

Their eyes locked. Jim was reaching his limit. The stage of foreplay was over. Spock wanted to go further and Jim was just waiting. So much for the rest. He wanted Spock. The latter took their sexes and jerked them off, lubricating his fingers as both men held back their moans. Spock slid his hand to Jim's intimacy and pushed a first finger inside him.

Jim tensed slightly. It had been a long time since he'd used that corner sexually, and it might take a while to get used to it again. Spock slipped his second finger in. Jim gasped as he immediately felt the discomfort, very uncomfortable indeed and painful to move. Then the pressure applied more to his sex and Jim couldn't hold back the hoarse moan of pleasure that escaped his mouth.

Spock then played both sides, giving him pleasure while trying to relax his muscles sufficiently. Jim lost himself in the sensations, feeling Spock's eager mouth taste the skin of his torso as he clutched at his back. He had no coherent thought left. His pelvis moved of its own accord, his body shuddered uncontrollably, and despite his damaged vocal cords, he couldn't hold back the moans of pleasure that escaped his throat. Jim wanted more, wanted to feel Spock inside him, now.

"Please, Spock."

He didn't need to clarify his induced request: Spock withdrew his fingers to thrust into him. The pleasure was such that it was as if he were discovering this sensation for the first time in his life. This feeling of being fulfilled, of being one with the other, it filled him with happiness. In Spock's arms, he felt good. He was in his place and whole, for the first time in his life.

Their movements were slow and synchronous. They were enjoying the pleasure of being with each other, taking time to taste each other's skin, feel each other's muscles roll under their hands, hear each other's heavy breath. But just as much as the other, they wanted more. Spock brought one of his hands up and positioned it over Jim's face to meld their minds.

For Jim, it was like floating. He felt Spock's pleasure on top of his own, his need, that almost suffocating surge of possessiveness, that happiness of being able to be one. Jim wanted to convey his joy, his pleasure, this deep attachment he felt for Spock. He didn't expect such a violent return of similar emotions.

Jim clutched at Spock, releasing his voice as their movements quickened, the rhythm became more anarchic and they clutched at each other. Jim couldn't hold back his moans of pleasure and above him, Spock's more restrained moans finished him off. Jim was swept away by pleasure, followed shortly by Spock.

Time had stopped around them. Jim's head was still spinning and he was having trouble recovering from his emotions. He wiped away a tear that had rolled down the corner of his eye and Spock helped him clean himself up. Jim's movements were mechanical, his thoughts still far away. The same was true of Spock.

Jim waited for his breathing to return to a regular rhythm before turning his head toward Spock and meeting his gaze. The brown of his eyes was so pure, so deep, that Jim could have drowned in his gaze. And with that face... Spock was handsome as a god. With his tousled hair, the tips of his ears and his cheekbones still green from exertion, Spock was irresistible.

Muscles numb from their romp and far too groggy, Jim, who would have liked to kiss Spock, settled for approaching him to place a lazy kiss on his still-warm torso. He then placed his head on Spock's tattooed snake, which wrapped its arm around him. Without even realizing it, Jim quickly drifted off into a deep, fulfilled sleep.

Spock's gaze was fixed on that soothed face. Jim. A name that resonated deep within him. Jim. He kept repeating it in his head, without understanding why. Jim. This man, asleep against him, with whom he had just shared the most intimate union he had ever known. He could still feel in his body the shivers of pleasure they had both shared in their mental union. That sweet warmth was running through his body in waves, still soothing him.

Jim. Spock felt a serenity that soothed his katra more than he'd expected. Thanks to Jim. He turned his head toward him and stroked a few strands of his hair with his fingertips. Jim had collapsed from exhaustion, at peace. Spock felt no negative feelings emanating from their t'hy'la bond. Jim was serene, and that was all that mattered to him.

Jim. Nothing else mattered but him. Now that he'd come far too close to him, tasted the pleasure of flesh with him, there was no turning back for Spock. He couldn't. Jim was his. His baser Vulcan instincts had kicked in and had no intention of abating as long as any doubt about their relationship persisted.

He could see only them. Only Jim. His messy hair, his soothed face, the marks he'd made visible all over his torso. Perfect. Anyone who tried to approach him would know he wasn't available. Maybe he should have gone further up her neck. That's for another time.

He folded the covers over them and wedged himself against Jim, holding him tightly against him. He'd almost lost him a few days before. He couldn't afford to make that mistake again. He had to do something to make him well. That started with standing by his side. He settled his head against Jim's and closed his eyes, drifting off to sleep.