Chapter 11
Pathetic.
Shirou fell back, pushing himself away, too weak to run or fight.
Pathetic. Pathetic.
In the pandemonium, Aqua's fierce roars and the General's thunderous shouts seized control, painting a tableau of raw violence pulsing with intensity only matched by a brewing storm.
Their heated clash sculpted the surrounding air, imbuing it with tangible tremors of their impassioned confrontation. In this frenetic symphony of chaos, there was no room for anything but the ferocious dance of two titanic forces colliding in a crescendo of unrestrained fury.
One might expect Shirou's heart to leap with exhilaration, witnessing Aqua's newfound power unfurling like a tempestuous storm on the horizon.
However, to his astonishment, his heart betrayed him, hurtling him into a disorienting abyss of shame and self-doubt. The reverberating echo of self-criticism played within him, akin to a relentless drumbeat of condemnation, each beat punctuating his internal struggle with a dissonant rhythm.
"Pathetic! Pathetic! Pathetic!"
The word clawed at his psyche, a haunting reminder of his perceived inadequacy. Those awful, self-hating words, he thought long behind him.
He propelled himself toward a distant wall, his fingers scrabbling at the unyielding stone, tearing at his fingernails in a desperate bid for purchase.
The unforgiving surface resisted, but against all odds, it granted him the support to stand. A welcome jolt of pain surged through him, a bitter reminder of his tenuous grip on the harsh reality that surrounded him.
"You fecal-faced bitch! I'll pound your ass into itself if you just hold still!"
"You're insane! What is it with you…" The General said, scrambling back, trying to create distance. "…and ass-based trauma you demented psycho!"
"I! don't! know!" Aqua punctuated her point with a colorful blast of power, knocking the general back and almost into Kazuma.
To be fair, Aqua's rage seemed all-encompassing to Shirou, making her lack of verbal skills expected. Though in fairness to the General, Aqua's communication skills had always been lacking.
Shirou shook his head. Mana exhaustion always made him think strange things. Kazuma's screaming helped clear his mind and focus on the immediate problem plaguing him.
Getting to Kazuma took Shirou longer than hoped, skirting well around the battling figures.
Even trying to keep his distance, Aqua's indiscriminate blows and the General's vicious lances of fire and thunderous concussive blasts made footing treacherous, deep cracks threatening his footing.
"Shirou, hurry the hell up!" Kazuma said, thrashing against his bonds. "We need to run!"
Shirou's numb fingers grappled with Kazuma's bindings, the unyielding knots proving to be elusive prey. With each desperate tug and twist, the air quivered with the resonance of impending calamity, and waves of heat bloomed across Shirou's back like an unexpected caress. He couldn't shake the anxious thought that the General's fiery wrath might reduce the castle to nothing more than a smoldering ruin.
"I can't get these things off," Shirou said, letting his arms fall. The bindings were iron chains, and without his reinforced strength, Shirou couldn't break them, nor did he have a blade to cut them.
"Well, figure something out! I'm not dying as part of some creepy woman's BDSM fantasy!"
Easier said than done.
Shirou tried channeling his mana, but almost collapsed on white hot pain ripped through him. He grit his teeth, shame boiling in his stomach. Such pathetic weakness.
"Shirou!"
Hope and dread bloomed in equal parts within Shirou as he turned and saw Darkness and Megumin rushing out of the large hole Aqua had created. Their faces were flushed, and they looked disheveled as if they had just come out of a whirlwind instead of a simple hole in the wall.
They crashed to a stop, Darkness dropping the leather back Shirou gave Megumin with a clatter, drawing her sword a moment later.
"Darkness, cut Kazuma loose!"
Kazuma's eyes widened, and he began thrashing with wild abandon. "Wait! No, anyone but her! I need my hands. No woman will touch me!"
Not having time for Kazuma's drama, Shirou nodded toward Darkness.
She advanced with an air of ominous determination, her arms ascending like twin serpents preparing to strike. "Don't move, Kazuma. Everything will be fine."
Darkness's shout of exertion was almost drowned out by Kazuma's shriek of fear and the squealing of breaking iron.
Kazuma's arms dropped, freed from his chains, but still connected to his body.
Darkness swung again, breaking the rest of his binding, freeing Kazuma from the stone throne.
He fell to his knees, panting, while frantically patting himself down. "I'm alive? Holy shit, I'm alive!"
Shirou ignored him, turning his attention toward Aqua and the General brutal battle. The pair moved, ducked, and dodged, blasts of magic and vicious blows slamming into the floor in showers of pulverized stone.
"Wow! I didn't know Aqua could fight." Megumin said, sole eye wide and gleaming. "She's so cool!"
Shirou didn't know if Aqua heard Megumin, or caught her second wind. Either way, she surged forward with a bellow, and said, "Goddess Requiem!"
The General shrieked and crossed her arms, a golden barrier forming.
Aqua's fist collided with the barrier, making the air tremble as a shockwave roiled forth, knocking Shirou back a step.
A deluge of rocks tumbled from the colossal hole she'd created, imprisoning them within the chamber.
"Come on!" Kazuma said, surging to his feet. "Goddamn it, Aqua, now we're locked in!"
"You know, I've long harbored suspicions about Aqua's sanity," Darkness remarked with a stoic expression as if commenting on the weather. Kazuma, caught between sputtering disbelief and the unfolding skirmish, cast an incredulous glance at Darkness. "Suspicions? And that's coming from you? The irony is almost too rich to digest."
Shirou tuned them both out and tried focusing past his exhaustion and vertigo. He didn't have the strength to intervene, and to his worry, Aqua appeared to be slowing down. 'An explosion? No, we'd all be caught up in it.'
"Guys."
'Maybe Darkness could get close, but that'll confuse Aqua; they've never fought together.'
"Guys!"
Shirou shook himself and keyed into Megumin, who interjected herself between Darkness and Kazuma. "We don't have time for you to fight; look!"
A groan escaped Shirou, and his head hung. Those words used in that tone meant nothing good, and honestly, he found himself very much wanting to bury his head in the sand. Alas, Kazuma's sad whimpers and Darkness's fearful panting forced his hand.
"That is the biggest fox I've ever seen."
Burning eyes, twin orbs of molten amber, gaze from a visage adorned with a mask of delicate intricacy. The mask, a canvas of onyx and vermilion. The Kyubi's mane, a cascade of flowing flames that defy the laws of the physical world, trails behind it like the remnants of a comet's tail. Each flicker, an ephemeral wisp of fire, leaves a trace in the air, an ethereal testimony to the creature's passage through the unseen realms.
"Well, we're boned," Kazuma said.
"Naruto! Hurry and burn this foul-mouthed woman!" The General said, ducking under Aqua's wild blows.
Crap! How did the little fox grow so massive?!
"Darkness!" Shirou said. "Distract it!"
A battle cry echoed through the air as Darkness hurled herself at the monstrous adversary, sword raised with a glint of determination.
Naruto, the elusive foe, responded with a snarl, effortlessly pirouetting aside like a phantom in a dance of deadly elegance. Darkness's blade, unleashed with fervor, met only unyielding stone as it cleaved into the unforgiving floor. The clash unfolded in a symphony of swift movements and the resounding impact of metal against stone.
"She can't beat that thing," Kazuma said, almost conversationally. He scratched his head. "How about this, while Darkness and Aqua sacrifice—I mean, bravely distract the General and her pet, we make a strategic retreat and get help... back in Axle." Kazuma began edging backward before he finished speaking.
"Shut up, Kazuma," Megumin snapped, digging through her backpack. "We're trapped in here, anyway. Shirou, you pack anything in here to help us?"
Shirou tore his eyes away from the fights; Aqua and Darkness were losing ground and shook his head, a frantic motion screaming anxiety. "Empty it. We have to hurry."
Megumin puffed her cheeks and pushed the bag over, spilling its contents all over the floor.
"Kazuma, help us find something that'll help," Shirou said, almost falling over as he knelt. "We don't have much time."
"How the hell are you so calm?!" Kazuma bumbled over, picking up and discarding items with zeal. "There's no chance we can beat a General alone. Not unless you've been hiding another frigging cheat cod — Why the hell did you pack a rubber duck?"
What?
Shirou glanced at Kazuma. "I didn't bring—" He halted abruptly, his gaze intensifying as a long-buried memory clawed its way back. Images of an overbearing priest, inconveniently diminished dangly bits, and an inexplicable yearning for a theological tête-à-tête with Jehovah's Witnesses before a swift getaway.
"That might just work. Nicely done, Kazuma."
Kazuma's eyes looked flat, his expression deadpan. "Goddamn it. Megumin, Shirou must have hit his head."
"I didn't hit my head," Shirou said. "I just went too hardcore."
"So, you're a mere mortal, after all."
Shirou thought Kazuma looked smug, but wasting no more time, he snatched the duck from Kazuma's hands.
"Megumin, take this." Shirou pushed the duck into her hands. "On my signal, channel your mana into the duck and throw it."
"What?" Megumin glanced between Shirou and the duck, brow furrowed. "How's this going to help!?"
"Trust me," Shirou said before turning toward Darkness. "Darkness, ditch your armor!"
Shirou's order drew bewildered gazes from Megumin and Kazuma, while Darkness turned a shade of red unheard of for humanity.
Darkness' triumphant grin looked radiant, her blonde locks adhering to her forehead, detracting nothing. Her face, bearing a striking resemblance to a baboon's posterior, wore the aftermath of her exertions. A minuscule rivulet of drool dared to escape the corner of her mouth.
"Shirou, do you wish to witness this behemoth inflict brutality upon me in my state of exhaustion?" she asked her tone a curious blend of enthusiasm and sadomasochistic delight. "What a delightfully cruel tutor you are. It's an exhilarating experience!"
In a shocking act of coordination, something Shirou never witnessed Darkness pull off in training, she unleashed a powerful uppercut, rocketing Naruto's head skyward. She followed up with a spinning kick, knocking it back into the wall, making the room shudder.
"Off, off, off." Darkness said, pulling at her armor with frantic excitement.
"I have no idea what's happening," Kazuma said, expression somewhere between shock and arousal. "I know you were training her, Shirou. But damn."
Shirou hesitated to claim credit. Their training sessions resembled a symphony of one-sided beatdowns, each encounter leaving Darkness gasping for breath and trembling in the shadows of her struggle to grasp the nuances of the sword. Still, gratification warmed Shirou, witnessing Darkness's apparent growth.
'If we live, I'll start training her harder.'
"Look at me, Shirou, I'm bare, armor forgotten. Please don't turn away!" Indeed, Darkness shed her heavy plate, leaving herself in nothing but a skin-tight black undershirt and a long yellow shirt.
Shirou heard Kazuma make a strangled sound, followed by a low moan. "Stay strong, Kazuma. Remember what father said. Never stick it in crazy."
Shirou turned to Megumin, ready to give her the order, and found her sitting on her heels, rocking back and forth, arms crossed over her chest, "Not fair, not fair."
The pose and words Megumin adopted were those Shirou knew well, and he fought the urge to scream. He understood breast envy, though he'd say nothing out loud — he learned from his mistakes, thank you very much — but now was not the time!
"Megumin! Quick, you're the only one who can save us all." Shirou hoped he wasn't laying it on too thick. "Channel your most powerful magic into the duck and throw it, or Darkness and Aqua are doomed!"
Megumin's rocking stopped, countenances changing with frightening speed. She shot up, her sole crimson eye burning.
"Frigging chunii bullcrap," Kazuma muttered. Shirou ignored him, focusing on Megumin.
"You can do it, Megumin, I believe in you."
She beamed, preening under his praise. "Of course I can. A crimson demon never fails!"
"Never fails, but history shows they have shit aim," Kazuma said, his eyes fixated on the fight.
Shirou shot a wary look over his shoulder, a cringe etching across his features. The memory of Megumin's dubious marksmanship during the Manticore/Griffin escapade was still fresh in his mind—magical explosions should not have a mind of their own, swerving like they had a vendetta against their intended targets.
He winced anew, empathetic agony coursing through him as Darkness soared through the air like a tragic opera singer taking an unexpected dive.
And, oh boy, did her cries of pain sound like they were auditioning for a role in a tragic play. Her vocal range was hitting notes that could shatter glass, and each cry seemed to echo with a haunting familiarity.
Why does she sound like Rin during kinky fun time?
"H-hey!" Megumin pouted, then sighed. "Can't be helped." She reached up and pulled off her eye patch, revealing a perfect crimson orb. Passing the patch to Kazuma, she warned, "Hold this, and don't you dare drop it!"
"I... You... You were wearing this to look cool!" Kazuma said, pointing an accusing finger at Megumin.
She gave him the classic cold shoulder treatment, but Shirou couldn't help but notice the subtle blush coloring her cheeks. It was like watching a sunset sneak onto her face, a warm red hue spreading like wildfire. But before he could indulge in a victorious smirk, she pulled a sharp 180 on him.
Megumin Arms crossed, chin defiantly raised, she struck a pose that practically screamed, 'Wizard!'
"My name is Megumin! Most powerful and noble wizard alive!"
Ceasefire settled over the battlefield, an unspoken acknowledgment passing between the General and Kitsune, their predatory instincts attuned to the palpable surge of magic. It was a moment that hung like a breath held before the storm, and Shirou felt it too. The magical tension made the hairs on your arms stand at attention, as if the very atmosphere was gearing up for a cosmic showdown.
Shirou thought of it as a magical intermission, combatants taking a collective breather before the next act of the mystical opera unfolded. It was like the universe had hit the pause button, holding its breath in anticipation. In that suspended moment, amid the echoes of halted clashes, the impending storm of magic crackled like distant thunder, a warning that the lull in the storm was merely the calm before the enchanting chaos resumed.
Megumin raised her hand and rubber duck, high.
"Witness my majestic power — It's rubber ducky time!"
The duck landed with a wheezing quack.
"..."
A sly smirk curled on Shirou's lips, the kind that said, 'Beat this.'
Yet, amid this victorious vibe, Megumin's chant injected a dash of spell-casting absurdity that, let's be honest, melted the moment's gravitas faster than a snow cone in summer. It was like bringing a bazooka to a sword fight, effective but not exactly the epitome of subtlety.
"Rubber ducky time?" Kazuma asked, shock and disbelief leaving his voice wispy.
"I didn't have time for a good chant!" Megumin stomped her foot. "It's not like you could do better, so don't judge me."
"Couldn't do better?! A frigging baby could do better!"
Before Megumin could continue arguing. Shirou found himself grateful to hear a deep bass quack.
"H-Hey, Shirou, what is that?" Darkness asked, attention darting from the innocent yellow duck to Naruto.
Shirou maintained a stoic silence. Then, in a crescendo of absurdity, the rubber duck took a dramatic final quack, as if channeling its inner Shakespearean actor preparing for the grand finale. And in a splash that transcended mere wetness, the rubber duck detonated, a cacophony of squeaky chaos heralding its watery uprising.
A tsunami of biblical proportions burst forth, a liquid juggernaut that swept away all semblance of dignity. Everyone found themselves summarily acquainted with the ground, courtesy of the rushing current that played havoc with their collective sense of balance. The rubber duck had staged its watery coup, and no one was left standing with dry socks to tell the tale.
"Holy crap!" Kazuma screamed, struggling to stay above the water that rose, forcing everyone to swim while being pushed toward the ceiling. "Are you trying to drown us, Shirou?!"
Shirou laughed. "The opposite," He said, "Kitsune's are creatures of fire, so water weakens them, plus with Aqua's alignment..."
Aqua roared her approval, and Shirou could hear the General's sputtering shrieks. "This isn't fair!"
Darkness broke the water's surface, gasping, swimming toward Shirou with powerful strokes."C-cold! Why is it so cold?"
Shirou found that strange. Structurally analyzing the rubber duck, he knew how it worked. Supposed to produce enough water for a bath anywhere, it produced way too much, and the temperature was a degree above freezing. Not what anyone called bath-ready.
But, as he teetered on the precipice of explanation, an ominous symphony of crackling groans swept through the room. It was a sound that seemed to emanate from the very bowels of existence, a rumble so profound that Shirou could almost feel it vibrating through the marrow of his bones. It was as if the room itself was awakening, its ancient secrets stirring in response to some cosmic cue, and Shirou couldn't help but feel a shiver crawl up his spine in response to the unearthly resonance.
"Shirou," Kazuma drawled, his tone betraying the birth of a rare moment of profound contemplation. "Let's ponder this, shall we? Aqua and the General — they had a delightful little team up and, turned this room into a disaster zone, didn't they? I mean, they practically made the entrance Aqua fashioned by smashing through the wall look like a mere appetizer for the main course of destruction."
Shirou cocked his head, wondering where Kazuma was heading with this. "Yeah..."
"So let's break it down, Shirou," Kazuma said, words seasoned with a dash of sarcasm. "The walls, the floor — heck, throw in the ceiling for good measure — have all been treated to a little structural weakening, courtesy of Aqua's and the General's demolition party." As if on cue, another deep groan reverberated, sending ripples pirouetting across the impromptu indoor lake. Shirou's heart took a nosedive, a gut feeling heralding something significantly less than pleasant. "And we're talking about walls that have undergone a structural striptease, bearing the weight of a metric crap ton of water and a swift mood swing in temperature. This, my friend, is what we call a real estate nightmare."
"What are you saying, Kazuma?!" Megumin asked but didn't wait for an answer. "What's he saying, Darkness?"
"I don't—" Darkness halted, agonized groaning interrupting her.
This time, Shirou saw the outer wall crack, with chunks of masonry falling and massive splashes.
A deceptive calm wove through Shirou's veins, though it was far from the soothing variety one might associate with a spa day. No, this was the deceptive tranquility that settles in right before the curtain rises on an imminent catastrophe, a lull in the storm that hints at the tempest about to unleash itself upon unsuspecting eyes.
Shirou's voice cut through the tension like a surgeon's scalpel.
"Kazuma, my esteemed companion in calamity, what are the odds that this weakened wall leads us gracefully to the courtyard instead of hurling us down the rocky embrace of the mountain this castle precariously clings to?" The question hung in the air, pregnant with the possibility of a less-than-graceful descent.
Kazuma seemed to feel the same calm as Shirou, something he could appreciate. "About the same as you figuring out, Darkness is a massive masochist."
Shirou stared at Kazuma and blinked a few times before feeling a sense of deep enlightenment envelope him, making the world seem so much clearer as he remembered all obvious, in hindsight, signs. "Well, damn."
The wall exploded in an avalanche of stone and water.
I'm back baby!
I know this chapter isn't long, but I wanted to put something out for this story since it's been so long. All-in-all, not bad since I wrote in two days.
Let me know how you liked this chapter in the comments! I purchased a new subscription to an online word processor to help catch the various spelling and grammatical errors that pop-up, so hopefully there are fewer distracting errors throughout.
Thanks for reading!