Chapter 1: He Loves Me, He Loves Me Not

Ginger plucked yet another flower from the clearing and raised her eyes again, watching her trainer cast his fishing line back in the river, hoping for a catch. Just like the past half hour. It was looking more and more like they would need to forage for some fruit or berries instead.

Not that she would point that out to the others. His Pidgeot was playing a friendly game of tag with Zigzagoon while Sandshrew had curled itself into a ball for a midday snooze. No, she didn't want to distract them. The longer they stayed there, the better in her opinion. Especially since she could watch their trainer longer.

The sun was warm and sweltering, making his clothes cling to his back and showing off the lean body he'd built up during their travels. He adjusted his cap, shielding his eyes from the sun and lifted his shirt to wipe the sweat off. What she wouldn't give for him to take it off right there. She toyed with the idea of lobbing a tiny flame at his clothes. Enough that he would need to discard them quickly.

She snapped out of her thoughts and returned to the flower. She had seen humans do this before, picking off one petal then the other with a He loves me. He loves me not until the end. She'd picked up the habit herself, but wasn't quite sure of its real purpose. It didn't seem to predict anything special, although she did feel a little titter of excitement when she ended on a He loves me.

As she plucked the petals, she watched him reel in another empty line. The disappointment on his face matched hers when she realized the flower ended on a He loves me not. Frustrated, she burnt the stem to a crisp in her paw as he cast the line further in the water.

It hadn't always been this difficult around him. In fact, until very recently, things were good. Great, even.

As a lonely Fennekin, she had wandered across her trainer in the woods. She'd been separated from her family somehow and the strange creature approaching her seemed tall, even for a teenager at the time. When he locked eyes with her, she feared he would attack her. After all, all the other Pokémon she'd come across while searching for her family had, either lashing out or making threatening territorial displays to run her off. Why shouldn't this being?

Instead, he slowly crouched down to her level, getting on all fours, and beckoned her over. "Hey, girl. It's okay. I won't bite." He dug around in his pocket, pulling out a ripe, delicious berry and laid it on the ground. "You must be hungry. Here."

It took over an hour of coaxing and a generous spread of berries, but her famished stomach won out. So she risked it, creeping close enough to take a nibble of the food. When he reached for her, she stiffened and shirked away from his hand. Pausing, the boy adjusted his arm to the side of her head instead, brushing his fingertips against her cheeks.

No attack came. No vicious strike, no sharp claws, no sudden burst of needling projectiles. Instead, it was a warm touch that she leaned into immediately. Who could blame her? It was the first time in weeks she encountered a friendly face.

"Are you all by yourself?" he asked, stroking her cheek as she ate. "Where's your family?"

She paused and gave a melancholic cry. He seemed to understand and sat next to her. "I'm sorry."

He watched her eat, emptying his pockets of berries until she was full. Whether the berries imbuing lethargy or her body finally catching up with her, she crawled into his lap and curled up, desperate for rest. "How would you like to come home with me then?" he asked. "You'd have a roof over your head and as much food as you want."

That sounded lovely and she cooed in response.

Therefore, her trainer, Andrew, adopted her, raising her as part of his family. They became so inseparable around the house, as she was always yipping at his heels, eager for his attention or to be held close to his chest. That was where she always felt safest and most at home. It was no surprise that when he became an adult and decided to take his own journey, travel the world, and find his passion, she jumped on his shoulder and wrapped her poofy tail around him, making her intentions clear. She wasn't going to be separated from him at all and meant to join him.

They'd set off without any particular aim, traveling from town to town, engaging in some battles now and then to the point that she evolved into a Braixen. All the better to help him catch the rest of his team, whom he still hadn't named. Although she let the other Pokémon know that was expected. After all, it took him a long time to settle on her name, as he "wanted to pick something that suited her perfectly."

Life had been good. Day after day, seeing new sights, experiencing new things, finding out how large the world was. She couldn't ask for anything else.

Then about a month ago was when he dropped the bombshell on all of them. One night, while they sat basking in the glow of a warm fire and eating, Andrew leaned in. "Guys, I've made a decision." His eyes twinkled with excitement as he looked at each of them in turn. "I'm going to become a Pokémon breeder."

They congratulated him, in their own cacophonous way. "Yeah, I've been thinking about it and I realized I'm not too big about taking on the league like most trainers. I'd rather raise Pokémon, like you guys, and learn all I can about them. If I do that, I can help you become the best you can be. You and your offspring, and any others we come across."

That was when Ginger's world was shattered. That key word: offspring. Then she really absorbed what he was talking about. Pokémon breeders often raised Pokémon to the best of their abilities and sought out potential partners to pass on those abilities to offspring. Meaning that Andrew wanted to pair each of them off with a mate. And that rattled her in her core.

"Ginger?" he asked and she raised her head. "Something wrong?"

She put on a small smile and shook her head. Meanwhile, the thoughts wouldn't leave her alone the rest. She stayed up for the rest of the night, deep in worry and staving off panic at the idea.

Obviously, he wasn't going to abandon any of them. Certainly not her. And pairing them off was far, far in the future. It wouldn't happen for a good long while.

So why was her heart racing and squeezing in her chest like someone was stomping on it?

After all, it was the way of life. Every Pokémon eventually found a mate and had offspring. Her parents had done the same. It was obvious that she would eventually find one herself, as that was normal. No matter how much she rationalized it to herself, it still scared her.

It wasn't until the next morning, climbing out of the tent they shared, that she realized the problem. The others were resting in their Pokeballs in the tent, which she sniffed at. She never did like the idea of a cramped space and didn't see how they preferred it to the spacious tent.

Andrew sat on a stump, making an early breakfast for them, his shirt slung over his shoulder, and pants halfway on. In the peaceful sunrise, the red light highlighted his face, filling him with a fire that raced across his bare chest and toned arms from days of climbing, hiking, and scavenging food. Flecks of gold sparkled in his dark hair and he wore a small, quiet smile that melted her insides.

Ginger's heart beat hard and loud. So loud that she feared Andrew would hear it and come to the same conclusion as her.

She was in love with him.

How or when it happened, she didn't know. All she knew was that when he noticed her behind him and offered her food, she could hardly eat or look at him.

Throughout the day, she argued constantly with herself. This wasn't right. This wasn't normal. She knew that. But she couldn't help it. When she stole glances at him, all she saw was the person she loved. The person she'd subconsciously chosen as her mate at some point. Someone who treated her with the love and attention that she wanted and whom she felt completely comfortable with. She wanted to be by his side forever.

That couldn't be though. A human and a Pokémon? It wasn't done. No, there was something wrong with her to feel like this. The days and nights became long sessions of agony now that she recognized her desire and couldn't act on it.

For her own sanity and to maintain their relationship, she immediately started to distance herself from him. Rather than walk alongside him, she stayed ten feet ahead or behind him at all times. Usually the former, as when she was behind him, she couldn't keep her eyes off of Andrew. If she stayed away from him, maybe this would all pass, like a stomachache from bad food.

It didn't. If anything, staying apart from him worsened things and made her long for him more. She also grew testy with the others as the constant internal fight drove her to many fitful and sleepless nights. Whenever Zigzagoon tried to encourage her to join their game of tag or whatever else they were playing, she tended to bare her teeth and growl until he slinked away.

After a week, things came to a head when she drove off a wild Pokémon. Andrew wanted her simply to weaken the Marill, a light tap to throw it off so that he could capture it. Instead, she unleashed a torrential column of fire that blasted the Marill several feet away into some tall grass.

Andrew spent several minutes searching for the Marill, trying to make sure it was all right. When he finally found the scorched Pokémon, it walloped his leg, gave an indignant huff, and scurried off into the grass.

He pulled Ginger aside after he exited the grass and sat across from her. "Is something the matter?" he asked. "You've been distant for the past week. I thought you might be homesick, but what was all that about?"

She didn't look at him. She drew jumbled circles in the dirt with the tree branch she carried in her tail.

"Are you homesick? Or upset about something?"

She raised her eyes for a moment. Maybe she should tell him. He'd taken care of her so long and wanted to be a breeder after all. Perhaps he would know how to resolve this.

"Is it something I did?"

He was right over the target. But as she started to open her mouth, she closed it and decided against saying anything. Even if she could verbalize her feelings in his language, he wouldn't understand. She didn't understand it all herself. No one ever told her this sort of thing could happen.

So she adopted an apologetic posture and mumbled a low sound, keeping her head down.

Andrew looked skeptical about her repentance, but didn't press the issue. "Let's get going then. We got a lot of ground to cover before nightfall."

Since then, for the past few weeks, she had kept her outbursts in better check. She still gave Zigzagoon an evil side eye if he dared approach her, but beyond that, Andrew hadn't brought up her attitude again. Which was fine with her, because she wasn't sure if she would hold back again.

Andrew suddenly cried out from the river bank and held up the end of his line, a large, fat fish wiggling from the end of it. "Looks like we'll have lunch pretty soon," he laughed.

Sandshrew heard lunch and blinked, lifting his head lazily around. When he saw Andrew cast his line for some more fish, he rolled over on his back and noticed Ginger ogling their trainer. Stretching his stubby arms, he chittered to her before dozing off. Pining for him will get you nowhere.

She snarled low at him. She was lucky the other two weren't as observant as Sandshrew and therefore hadn't caught onto the reason for her change in demeanor. Yet.

Ginger ran her paw through the nearby flowers and picked another in full bloom. Holding it close to her chest, she plucked the petals one after the other. He loves me. He loves me not. He loves me. He loves me not.

Andrew entered the Poke Mart in town, letting Ginger wander off on her own while he tapped the Pokeballs on his belt, each tap running through the mental supply list of what they needed. More potions of course. Couldn't hurt to grab a couple of antidotes. And better see if they have some berries on hand.

As he browsed the aisles, stopping and checking the prices for various other items and debating if they could be useful, he spotted Ginger poking at some dried jerky, her fluffy tail swishing back and forth as sniffed it. He wished he could figure out what was eating at her. She'd never been like this before. Not since the day he found her.

Some breeder I'm turning out to be. Can't even help my own Pokémon. He believed it was his calling. He was doing pretty well with his team so far. But maybe he had a lot more to learn about them than he thought.

He gathered up their needed items, as well as a pack of jerky Ginger held out to him, and paid at the front. When they stepped outside, he noticed a Pokémon school across the street, advertising free lessons and consultations for the day. Struck by inspiration, he made a quick stop at the Poke Center, leaving his team with the nurse at the front for a round of healing.

"They'll be ready in an hour," she said, waving to him as he left.

He headed back to the school and slipped into one of the classrooms, where several teachers were talking to people like him who had noticed the sign and had their own Pokémon questions.

Now that he was here, he started to feel a little embarrassed about the situation. As he took stock of the crowd, he noticed the people visiting were more made up of kids and teenagers with beginner questions for their brand-new journeys. Not many young adults like him, who should already have a firm grasp on how to handle their Pokémon.

Besides, what was he supposed to say? "Hi, I'm a prospective breeder and the Braixen I've had for years doesn't seem to listen much now and has attitude problems. Can you help?" Great way to start his career. But he couldn't just leave and let things fester with Ginger. He had to figure this problem out if he ever hoped to become a successful breeder.

Nearby, one of the teachers was speaking quite boisterously, despite having the fewest listeners around. Andrew considered the small gathering, taking a few steps toward them, backing away, trying again, and attempting to appear inconspicuous as the mustached man finished answering someone else.

"So you see, no two of the species are quite the same," he said, fingering his facial hair. "Just because your brother's Sneasel is more aggressive and likes fighting, yours may have a different nature entirely."

That much was obvious to any seasoned trainer. Then again, so should the reason why a Pokémon was acting out too. Andrew rocked on the balls of his feet, wishing some of the crowd would filter out. Maybe cornering one of the teachers outside would be better.

"Hello there," a cheery voice said behind him, making him jump. He spun around, noting a girl a few years his junior adjusting her glasses. "Did you need to speak to someone?"

"Ah, yes. I mean, no. That is, maybe," he said, stumbling over his words. He didn't exactly want to confide in her either and racked his brain. "Do you happen to have a library?"

" 'Do we happen to have a library?' " she repeated with amusement. "I would sure hope so. Otherwise, I've been volunteering for nothing all this time. Follow me."

Down the hall and around a corner, she welcomed him into a rather large library, lined with a dozen shelves of books. Spinning around and spreading her arms wide, she lifted up on her tiptoes. "So what are you looking for?"

He tapped his chin, picking his phrasing delicately. "Anything on Pokémon behaviors and moods."

Quick as a flash, she snatched a few books off the shelves, humming to herself all the while, and returned to him, holding them out. "You're welcome to check them out. We just need to sign you up for a library card."

"Thanks, but no thanks, Miss?"

"Sasha."

"Thanks, Sasha. I think I'll just read them here."

She swept an arm to the tables. "Feel free. I'll be at the counter if you need any help."

He chose a corner table and cracked open the first book, flipping through the pages. Plenty of material about behaviors and natures, including how the natures affected a Pokémon's growth and habits. He gleaned a few tidbits here and there, but much of it was information he already knew.

The next book was about Pokémon in the wild compared to trained ones, as well as those domesticated from birth, effects of different environments, and the most appropriate diets. All handy things to know for a prospective breeder and he set aside the book. Perhaps he would take up the offer for a library card and check it out later.

The last was on strictly wild Pokémon habits and how they communicated in nature. But skimming through it, he didn't see anything pertaining to Ginger's situation. Nothing about randomly distancing herself or a sour mood most days.

"Find what you're looking for?" Sasha asked over his shoulder.

He dropped the book with a yelp. Rubbing his face and muttering under his breath, he flipped to the next chapter of the current book. "No, nothing yet." He checked his watch. Fifteen minutes left. He had to hurry.

"Maybe I can help." Sasha hopped onto the table and kicked her feet. "Are you looking for something about your own Pokémon?"

He sighed and glanced around. The library was empty save for the two of them. If there was any shred of information in this place, she'd know where to find it. He needed to help Ginger. "Yes. It's my Braixen, Ginger."

"What about her?"

"I've had her since she was a little Fennekin and we've always been close. But lately, she's been acting out. She's angry with the rest of our team and distances herself most of the time."

"Does she disobey you?"

"Not necessarily, no. She kind of did once, but nothing like you think and we sorted it out. It's like she's upset, but I don't know what's wrong."

Sasha bounced her head side to side. "Did you do anything to upset her?"

"No. At least, I don't know what it could be if I did." He explained the issue from a few weeks ago about how she viciously attacked the Marill and their conversation afterwards. "It was like she wanted to tell me what was wrong, but couldn't. Or decided not to. And it seemed like she was mad about something I did."

"But you don't know what it was?"

"Exactly."

Sasha looked at the other books for a moment. "Did anything recently happen at all? Like a big change or something?"

"Change? No, nothing-" then he stopped. A light slowly dawned in his mind. "I did recently tell my team I was planning to become a Pokémon breeder." He turned to Sasha, who nodded at him, encouraging him to follow the train of logic that he didn't quite see. "Meaning we won't travel the world anymore like we are now?"

She sighed and took of her glasses, cleaning them with the hem of her shirt. "I don't know your Ginger, so if she's that attached to adventure, then maybe." Holding her glasses up to the light and sliding them back on, she continued, "But it could also be your chosen profession. Breeders tend to raise a lot of Pokémon."

"Not all."

"But many do. For friendships, for daycares, or for contests. Some even do it as a business to have Pokémon mate and sell the offspring. Raising a lot of the little critters like that, a few could get lost in the shuffle. Like Ginger."

Andrew slumped in his chair and stared at the open pages of the book. Was that the reason why? But Ginger had to know that he would never forget her. She wasn't simply a member of his team or his first Pokemon. She was his closest friend, someone he never wanted to be apart from.

Yet Sasha's face said it all. Did Ginger really know that?

He snapped the book shut and stood up. "I have to go. Thank you for your help." With that, he was out the door and on his way back to the Poke Center. He needed to put Ginger's fears to bed as soon as possible. Before things turned worse.