- Chapter 3: Sister Act -

Kyon can be so ridiculous sometimes. I mean, why would he even suggest not coming with me to Aunt Kanae's this weekend? What else would he be doing this weekend, anyway? Just watching some random channel on television and playing video games, probably. I know for a fact that he'd much rather be on an exciting trip with me, so why does he have to be so difficult and act like he doesn't want to go? Doesn't he understand how important this trip is to me? I wish for once he'd just be considerate and thank me for giving him something fun to do with his life!

Speaking of wishes, I wish I could just leave now and grab Mikuru to get her changed. I finished the test ages ago. But no, I have to sit here and do nothing just so I won't disrupt the rest of the class.

Great, I can hear Kyon now... "But Miss Asahina's class doesn't let out until the same time ours does, so you wouldn't be able to get her yet anyway." Can't you even keep your downer comments to yourself when you aren't talking, Kyon?

I can't wait to see Aunt Kanae again. I've been so busy going on adventures with the SOS Brigade and having fun with my friends that I haven't visited her in forever. That's one of the tough things about life – no matter how well you're spending your time, at any given moment you're missing out on a dozen other opportunities. And then one day you have no more opportunities.

Why does it have to end, anyway? Why does it all have to end?

Riiiiiiinnnngg.

The bell. Finally! Finally class is over and I can go get Mikuru.

Haruhi Suzumiya sprinted down the halls and caught Mikuru still in class, chatting with a friend. She excused her from the conversation, explaining that this was important SOS Brigade business, and yanked Mikuru out of the classroom while she was still attempting to say farewell. A moment later they were shooting towards their destination, threading their way between departing classmates like an emergency vehicle threading its way through traffic.

"M-M-Miss Suzumiya, what's the huuuurrrrry?" Mikuru wailed as they hit another burst of acceleration.

"I've got a new costume for you and you need years' worth of special training before you can wear it!"

"What? Wh-wh-why? And can't we just stretch the training over a week or two?"

"No! I want you in the costume today!"

She took Mikuru to the Computer Research Society, having learned from Yuki that one of the members was Roman Catholic. There she read several Bible passages and Catholic meditations to Mikuru, and with help from the Computer Research Society members, conducted a ceremony with lots of lit candles and Mikuru quaveringly reciting some vows. At some point Yuki's clubmate tried to object that this wasn't exactly a legitimate ordination, but Haruhi silenced him with a glare. He was the one who had provided her with all the details of the ordination, wasn't he? And she had followed the vast majority of those details, more or less, so what was his problem?

Once the ceremony was concluded, Haruhi cleared all the members out of their clubroom so that she could strip Mikuru and put her into the habit. It was unexpectedly satisfying to revisit the old pleasure of changing Mikuru's clothing.

Mikuru looked down at herself. "I'm... a nun?"

"Oh, you didn't catch on?" Haruhi grinned with satisfaction at Mikuru's appearance. "Yup, your name is now Sister Mikuru!"

"B-b-but..."

Haruhi hated it when Mikuru took so long to get an objection past her lips, so she didn't wait a second more. She grabbed Mikuru by the wrist and started pulling her towards the SOS Brigade clubroom.

Halfway there, Haruhi screeched to a halt. "Oh, shoot! I just realized I haven't invited Yui and Yoshimi yet!"

"Y-y-you mean they're going to be at the meeting?"

"No, not the SOS Brigade meeting. My weekend trip!"

"Huh?"

"You go on ahead to the clubroom. Tell everyone I'll be there in just a minute!"

She found both girls at their respective after-school clubs. Yoshimi had a family trip that she couldn't get out of, but Yui said it sounded fun and, while she'd have to get her parents' permission, she couldn't see any reason why they might say no.

"Great!" Haruhi said. "Kyon will be glad to have you along, too!"

"Uh... Kyon's coming?"

"Yup! I promised I'd introduce him to Aunt Kanae."

"Um... Then maybe I shouldn't come along. I don't want to crowd you..."

"Don't worry about it! Aunt Kanae easily has enough room for three guests. I was even hoping to bring a fourth person, but it didn't quite work out. Anyway, I know she'll want to meet you."

Yui heaved a sigh. "Suzumiya, hasn't it occurred to you that maybe Kyon agreed to go on this trip thinking that he was going to get to spend some time alone with you?"

"Don't be ridiculous. Kyon likes to play the sullen loner, but the truth of the matter is, he's never happier than he is when he has lots of friends around." Yui opened her mouth to object, but Haruhi cut her off: "And if this is about your stupid idea that Kyon has a crush on me, then you had better stop while you're ahead, because only a total scumbag would try making a move on a girl while visiting with her aunt, and Kyon is not a scumbag."

"...I didn't mean he's planning to make a move on you. I just think he might want to talk to you and just be with you without anyone else watching."

Well, maybe he would. But if that's the case, he can call me anytime and ask. He never does. "Yui, trust me, Kyon doesn't want to be alone with me on this trip. I practically had to order him to come with me! He has more fun with me when there are other people around, and I know he likes you. If you come along, the chances of him backing out of the trip go waaaayyy down." She held a palm perpendicular to her chest and lowered it to below Yui's seat to illustrate the point.

She laughed. "Okay, okay. But I'm not going to be a buffer for you two! If you guys start having issues, I swear, I'll make you talk them out together."

Haruhi wasn't worried about that. Sure, Kyon had been a problem many times before, but when she looked back over all their time together, she saw him as much more of a solution to her problems, a trump card that overcame every obstacle in her way.

And she really wanted that trump card in her deck during this trip. Right now she was faced with a bigger problem than all of the ones Kyon had ever caused combined.

Of course, she wasn't going to let the rest of the SOS Brigade see that. "I'm here!" she announced as she swung open the door to the Brigade clubroom, wearing the brightest smile she could muster.

"Good. Then maybe you'd like to explain this," Kyon grunted, pointing at the nun who was serving them all tea. "I thought you were being serious when you said you were thinking of converting to Christianity. Does this mean it was all just a gimmick for making the SOS Brigade have more moe appeal?"

"Hey! That was a private conversation, not to be repeated in front of the entire SOS Brigade!" Kyon looked back at her with a faintly cocked eyebrow. "That's a different matter! No one in our homeroom listens to our conversations. It's like talking to someone in the middle of a crowded train station."

Kyon sighed. "Seriously, you have got to stop this habit of responding to things I haven't said aloud."

"Anyway, to answer your question, of course I was serious about it." She spun away from them as she shut the door, not wanting to see Mikuru, Koizumi, and Yuki's reactions to the private information that Kyon had stupidly and insensitively blurted out. How was it that he could be so considerate of her feelings sometimes, and then do something like this? "And since I've decided not to convert to Christianity, that makes it all the more important that Mikuru be part of a Christian order. You know, so we have our bases covered in case it turns out that Christian beliefs are correct."

"Wait... You're saying it's not just a costume? You actually want to make Miss Asahina a nun?"

Mikuru's lilting voice gently interjected, "Kyon... it's really not a big deal. I actu-"

"Of course it's a big deal!" The sharp anger that was suddenly in Kyon's voice made Haruhi spin around to look.

Kyon had shot to his feet, righteous indignation burning on his face, his fists clenched as though ready to defend justice and the innocent (oh, how great it would be to see him like this, if only the outrage were directed at someone other than herself!). Mikuru was quivering at the sight of the two of them facing off, as though afraid their conflict might destroy the world. Koizumi was studying Kyon's face with a mysteriously amused expression. Yuki was just reading, paying them no attention.

"Haruhi, I thought you had become better than this. You can't force people to make major life changes around your stupid whims!"

"I didn't force her!" Haruhi shot back. "And it's not a stupid whim! We need the heavenly blessings Mikuru can bring us! All five of our immortal souls are on the line!"

"That's nonsense! You don't even believe we have immortal souls!" Despite herself, Haruhi felt a sharp pain grip her heart at those words. "If you really think it's so important that the SOS Brigade has religion, then you join an order! Don't drag someone who doesn't even have a passing interest in the religion into it."

"Urrrggh..." She folded her arms, clasping each one just above the elbow. She had no good argument against what Kyon was saying, and she could already see it. It was like she'd come to know him so well that the outcomes to their arguments were apparent after just a few back-and-forths.

And the worst part was, she felt like having Kyon here to out-argue her was the best of all possible worlds. That without him to interfere, all she would succeed in doing was throwing herself off a cliff, and the rest of the SOS Brigade with her.

"Miss Suzumiya, if I may..." Koizumi raised a hand to forehead level. "I don't believe it's possible for Miss Asahina to have been as quickly ordained to a Christian order as you and Kyon are suggesting. Whatever your intentions may have been, I believe her habit is, essentially, just a costume."

"Huh?" Haruhi said. "W-well, of course! That's exactly what Yuki's friend said during the ordination!"

"Good grief. You mean you dragged Yanami into this farce, too?"

"Don't change the subject! You just stupidly jumped to the conclusion that I made Mikuru a nun for real, didn't you? You should know better than to think I would do something so stupid!"

He gave her a sour look, like he was choking down a glassful of brine, then sat back down with a sigh. "Alright, alright. I get it already."

Haruhi's mouth dropped open. She didn't expect him to give up just like that. Kyon knew her too well to not realize that she really had thought she was making Mikuru into a real nun, and he was too stubborn to just let go of something like that ordinarily. There was only one reason he might do that, and though he was trying to hide it, she could see it on his face: He had seen through the smile she wore when she came in, realized she was having a rough time, and decided not to push her any farther than he needed to to protect Mikuru.

See? Now why can't he be like that all the time?

She shut her mouth, swallowed to clear her throat, and said, "Well, I – I suppose you did have a bit of a point, anyway. Mikuru, you have my permission to change out of that habit and into any costume that you like. You can even wear the frog one for the rest of the meeting, if you want."

"Actually..." Mikuru smiled at her, fiddling with her cross necklace with the tips of her forefinger and middle finger. "I was just trying to tell Kyon that I'm enjoying wearing this costume, Miss Suzumiya. It's so old-fashioned and pretty, and it's nice to wear something that isn't so revealing for a change."

"I see..." She frowned. This felt too easy. Even if she had failed to make Mikuru into a nun, she did think that habit was a nice change of attire, so it seemed only natural that someone would object. "What about the rest of you? Would anyone prefer to see Mikuru in something else?"

Kyon glanced up at Mikuru. "I'm happy with that, honestly."

Koizumi was smiling. "Frankly, I think it's one of the best examples yet of your fine eye for interesting and elegant vestments, Miss Suzumiya."

Yuki turned a page of her book. She did not look up. "...Fine."

"Well, okay then!" Haruhi smiled, though she still felt unhappy. "We have unanimous agreement. Enjoy yourselves, everyone." She went to her desk and booted up her computer.

Kyon was furrowing his brow at her. "Aren't you going to talk about our weekend trip?"

"Hey!" she snapped. "What did I just tell you about repeating private conversations at SOS Brigade meetings?"

"Private...?" He looked even more puzzled now. "You mean it's not an SOS Brigade expedition?"

"Of course not, idiot! Do you really think my aunt has enough room to support six guests?"

"Six guests?" Kyon glanced at Koizumi, who shrugged his ignorance.

"That reminds me. Tell your little sister she's invited too, okay?"

"Why do you want her along?"

"Don't give me that grouchy tone of voice! Your sister is sweet, intelligent, and fun-loving, and you should be thankful for the opportunity to spend more time with her!"

"I mean, why her and not Nagato, Koizumi, or Miss Asahina?"

"Like you said, this is not an SOS Brigade expedition. It's just an ordinary visit with my aunt."

"I'm an SOS Brigade member, and that didn't stop you from inviting me."

This is so frustrating. Doesn't he realize that he's directing the discussion towards an awkward subject? Mikuru's obviously caught on; just look at her trembling. "Listen, Kyon. My aunt's invitation was for me and any friends that I want to bring along. No, I did not invite myself!"

"I didn't say that you did."

"You were thinking it!" He was looking at her steadily now, and she scowled at him. "Okay, so maybe I gave Aunt Kanae the idea for this visit. So what? Aunt Kanae hasn't gotten to see me for a long while, and if I waited around for her to ask, she might never get to see me again! Life is short, so you've got to be proactive about spending time with the people you care about. Got it?"

"That's quite a compliment Miss Suzumiya is giving you," Koizumi commented to Kyon.

Haruhi jerked her face away to hide her consternation. For a minute there she completely forgot that there were people in the room other than her and Kyon. Probably a leftover from her old habit of talking to herself.

"Look," Kyon sighed. "I guess it's partly my fault for bringing the subject up here, but it's more your fault for not telling me in the first place that this wasn't an SOS Brigade expedition, and anyway, whoever's fault it is, don't you think they might be a little hurt that you haven't invited them?"

"Oh no, Kyon!" Mikuru objected. "My friends and I already had plans for this weekend, so I'm just glad that you and Miss Suzumiya and your little sister will be having fun then too."

Koizumi nodded. "I had no plans, but Miss Suzumiya's words make me realize that there are several members of my own extended family who I haven't seen in too long. I should take the time to arrange a visit."

Nagato's gaze did not waver even slightly from her book. "Enjoy yourselves."

"Hmm? Will you be doing anything this weekend, Yuki?" Haruhi asked.

"Reading."

"Oh." Yuki sounded contended enough, but somehow this didn't satisfy her. "Why don't you try doing something with other people? Like a date maybe?"

Kyon sighed. "Haruhi, I don't think Nagato is ready for a first date right now."

"...Interesting idea." Nagato turned a page. "I will ask someone."

"Um, actually, maybe Kyon has a point," Haruhi said. "You shouldn't go on a first date without me and Mikuru here to coach you. We can do that next weekend if you want, okay?"

"Fine."

If anyone else were this brief, you'd know for sure that they were offended at not being invited to the trip to Aunt Kanae's. But by now Haruhi could tell from her voice that she was not bothered about it. Yuki was a meek girl who had to be treated with lots of emotional sensitivity, but she wasn't needy. She could understand that sometimes her and Kyon needed to spend time together without her, and that that didn't mean they cared about her any less.

Haruhi was proud of how much Yuki had grown – proud of how they'd all grown, really. They'd become the perfect team. Looking at them all, so lively and full of individuality – Yuki keenly focused on her book, Koizumi quietly amused by and interested in them all, Mikuru exhibiting a firm dignity befitting her habit as she poured her a cup of tea, Kyon wearing a morose face but secretly loving the whole proceeding – it was strange to think that one day they would all be wrinkled, arthritic, and sickly... unless one or more of them went to their graves before then...

"Hey, don't ignore me!" Kyon's voice became unusually loud by his standards, cutting through her daydreaming. "You could at least come up with something dismissive and condescending."

Her hand suddenly felt warm. She looked down and realized she had accepted a cup of tea from Mikuru without realizing it.

When she looked back up, she saw both Koizumi and Kyon were looking at her with concern. "Miss Suzumiya, are you all right?"

She smiled at them. "Of course! What is it you were saying, Kyon?"

His expression of concern did not change. He was looking at her like he was looking right past her smile, through her shining eyes, and trying, in his stupid and ineffectual but still earnest way, to see into her heart. "...It's not important."