Lucoa wakes up with a start, with her eyes feeling drowsy and groggy.
It's a strange notion, to feel tired. She allows herself to feel this way by magic and illusions, if only to pretend to be a little closer to that of a human, and it's worked to relate to her companion a bit more after these last two weeks together. The more things she relates to, be it by magic or discovered feelings, the more she comes to understand how he feels about this world…even though she hasn't found a lot of time to help him with his dilemmas: the boring, mundane life. After all, Bruce is always working or dead-tired, and the time they spend together she cherishes a lot, because it's not that much.
She turns her face around the darkness to see the clock and finds it telling its 3:00 in the morning, and her heart clenches at the sound next to her. After a few days of sleeping in the same bed, it's quite clear to her now that Bruce is far more complex than what she had initially thought.
He's much more.
Sometimes, he talks to himself while finishing menial tasks; cleaning the bathroom, drawing around, picking up the scattered papers he discards every other day. He's always discussing himself. He also loves to read and be creative, having a dedicated room filled with bookshelves and drawers. Most of the books there she's already gone through, others she's taking her time to finish them. He's mentioned she may enjoy them more that way, and she doesn't have the heart to tell him she's read more books than there's humans on earth.
He's also never quite still, not even when sleeping or sitting down. His foot is always bobbling, his head always moving left and right at a mental rhythm, sometimes he even sings. It's amusing, even though he claims it's not. For him, it's exhausting, but she doesn't quite understand.
And then other times, deep asleep, he's something else entirely; he's a whirlwind, a leg kicker, a noise maker, clearly a vivid dreamer. He lets out gasps, and reaches out with his hands (sometimes to places on her body she wouldn't mind leaving his hands at) and he talks nonsense in his sleep.
And to her own sorrow and the bad part of it all…
He cries sometimes.
It's not something she's discussed with him, and it's a heart wrench every time it happens.
Being honest with herself, the only reason she hasn't delved into his mind to calm down his nightmares (or whatever is it that makes him shed silent tears and sobs in the death of night) is the promise she made to never invade his thoughts. It's the fact that it is specifically prohibited by him, and the fear of knowing he'd probably realize it if she ever did.
That, and that it's particularly on those nights, that he lets her know he's gotten the best sleep he could've had. Strange, intriguing, and worrisome.
And now it's 3:00 AM and it's happening again. She'd be happy, since his hand had found her hips at some point during their cycle of REM sleep, but now it was far more dreadful. It meant having to stare right at his face as he went through whatever he did when this happened, unless she risked waking him up and destroying the little sleep he gets before going back to work.
And work…that's the one thing she hates the most.
He always went in tired, and returned even more exhausted than before, barely leaving any time for her to enjoy their time together. It made him fall asleep while watching movies, made him drift away whenever they chatted and ultimately, fueled the frustration that often leaked out of him. That hate for the loop he found himself stuck into for life, he never mentioned anything about it, but it was so overwhelming she'd spent the last few days coming up with something to ease the weight off his shoulders. To make it easier for him, and maybe even for her.
He stirs in his small chaotic dream and then his eyes shoot open, those dark brown eyes suddenly staring deep into her soul with ease. It isn't herself that woke him up, so maybe something different happened this time.
Even though she can practically feel the turmoil of emotions swirling inside his chest, he doesn't say anything, and remains silent as a stone, probably only being able to see her own bright luminescent eyes from all the darkness.
At one point she sighs a bit in disappointment because he removes his hand away from her body, and retrieves it back to his own frame.
"Sorry, did I wake you up?" He asks, and of course the first thing he does is think about her, "I didn't mean to— my hand just-"
"I don't mind" She interrupts before he can continue, "I'm not sure how humans share their affection in this world, but you can touch me all you want" She states and giggles when his face turns bright red. A gulp and a nod and he attempts to sit up.
Her hand on his shoulder places him back onto the mattress.
"You should sleep a bit more, it's three in the morning" He looks like a retort is about to come out, so she continues, "Or would you rather keep holding me?" She teases and he blushes again.
She smiles and giggles again, but this time a frown stops her in her tracks.
"I'm not some innocent kid…I'd hold you. I just don't know if it's too soon or inappropriate" And there's a bit of a lie in between his words. It's her turn to frown instead.
Bruce isn't a child, or some kind of clueless young boy, and she knew that from the start. So why misunderstand her?
"I'm just teasing you" Her smile is warm and vibrant, "I know you're not a baby-"
"When you're eons in age, isn't anyone else a child to you?" He asks and the pang of hurt inside her chest comes as a surprise, because she knows he doesn't mean it in a vile way. Was this a concern for him all along? Or something that just popped into his head?
She still voices her issue, "I thought you said…that you didn't mind." Her mood diminishes, and he's soon close to her face once again, with his dark brown eyes squinting at her in ways that always breach her defenses.
"I don't mind, but I also said it's hard to ignore" He shows her his logic and soon she's trapped into his stare.
Still, she's not leaving this unanswered.
"Don't compare my age to your experience or my own. Tohru is extremely old too, but she doesn't have a clue about anything other than magic, war and dragons. The same goes for me…sure I know a gazillion amount of things, but I have no clue how humans in this realm work, or anything about this world" She reaches up a hand and cups his cheek with it, rubbing her palm on it with care, "You surprise me every time, and no matter how old I am, this is the first time I'm connected to someone. The first time someone is able to leave me without words. Is that not enough for you?" Her eyes bore into his own as well, shining bright. His words in return melt her into a puddle.
"You're more than enough for me, I never said otherwise" His eyes are so sharp, it's mesmerizing, "Sometimes I just need to know where I stand when it comes to you"
Am I a passage of time?
Soon she's not able to help herself, and in a swift motion her arms snake around his torso, forcing him into a hug.
Are nights always vulnerable times for humans?
"You're worth more to me than what you think, I promise" She squeezes and soon he squeezes back, creating butterflies down her stomach, "It doesn't matter how long it lasts, the memory of you will outlive me, Bruce" She's suddenly very overwhelmed by emotions, and it's hard to keep it to a minimum, "You said one hundred years for me are a mere blink of an eye, and it's true, but don't you realize how terrible that is for me?" Somehow this turns into a heartache battle, when she'd just wanted to console him and get him back to sleep.
How he manages to turn the tables on her every time, is a trick she hasn't come to understand yet.
"It's so fast, I'm scared to waste a second! I don't want to think about it! I just want to cherish everything before you slip away from my fingers and I'm back to being alone" Now she's crying, and he's doing his best to contain her tears. It's a fact she didn't want him to know; how many tears could flow out of a dragon's eyes. Almost like a little waterfall, it was embarrassing to her.
An exhaled goddess crying in her human's arms.
"So it's like a curse" He coos right in front of her, and she nods multiple times, ignoring how damp the mattress below their faces felt.
"It's a blessing to some…but I've gone through terrible things, I've also done terrible things; it doesn't matter how long one lives, there's scars you can't possibly cure" And she's clutching at his shirt, as if that could keep her from drifting away, "Humans know it'll all come to pass…for me, time doesn't heal anything" She sniffs and the tears finally stop, "I lost my…"
And she stops right there, averting her eyes.
"You don't have to tell me, Lucoa" And of course, he senses her. Because he can, because they're connected, "I understand now, I can't relate but I understand" And his hands are rubbing her arms and his warmth is the one thing calming her down.
Her eyes go back to his and then it's all out before she can stop it.
"I lost my godhood and sacrificed myself to amend my mistake, just to realize I cannot remain dead for long" She confesses in a second of bravery and pain, but his surprised eyes break down whatever it is that she built and suddenly she turns into an emotional rollercoaster once again, thinking only of the worst, "I'm…I'm not a dragon, Bruce. I'm— an exiled goddess…no one worships me, no one cares for me. In the skies—" A hiccup of pain stutters her, "I am relinquished, on earth I am blasphemous and in hell I have no place, because I shall never die. Does thee understand, when I say thou is a beacon of joy, betwixt my endless cycle of life?" She's talking archaic, her mind blending in between the times where her shame was most powerful and the words of today's era, but it's not something she can't help.
It takes her sometime to realize that he's not answering, and in a moment of true fear, she concentrates on their link, checking upon it to see if it wasn't shattered by her revelations.
To her enormous relief, it's still intact.
"You have to calm down Lucoa, the lights have been blinking for a while" And it's true, the lights are flickering. The world around them is…slightly morphing, and on top of the drawer next to them, things are floating.
Even worse, Bruce is also levitating, not quite far away but a few centimeters above their mattress. If he's scared or shocked, he doesn't even show a pinch of it.
It shakes her core, the newfound amount of shame and embarrassment. Losing control like this, allowing things to reach this edge, where she's not stable…it's not part of her, it's out of character, she should disappear from his life; she's but a danger and a threat and-
"Lucoa" Her mind stops rambling, just to find out they're no longer staring at each other, Bruce is sitting on the other side of the bed, the light switch is on and his hand is gripping hers hard enough for her to feel the flinch thanks to her (bestowed by magic) weakened state, "I—, don't know if this is okay, but I can hear your thoughts. When they're this loud I can"
He pulls and she complies, sitting next to him. She hopes he doesn't realize that she's shaking.
It's obvious that he does.
His arm around her lower back heals her back to at least a controlled state.
"Hey, look at me, am I injured?" He asks and it's rhetorical, but in an instant she scans him with a magical eye just to find out that he is indeed, alright, "Am I scared?"
No he's not, she knows he is not.
"You're not a bad person—er, dragon or goddess, okay? If you were I would be dead-" She tries to rationalize, but he doesn't let her, "Divine rules or not, you wouldn't be this kind to me, yeah? You wouldn't be this…good for me, this healthy" His hand reaches up and an arm wraps around her shoulders, "Don't think for a second that I want you away…I know I don't show it much, but you make this world interesting. My world, that is. You've saved me, in a way…magic is incredible, and the fact that there's so many beings around that are beyond the norm and fascinating, it's just a fresh take of air to me; and all that it's thanks to you"
It's sudden, and unexpected, but the small kiss on her hand he gives fills all the holes that had dug deep into her soul. It ignites a flame at the back of her chest and warms her entire body.
"I don't want you to disappear, Lucoa. If this happens, if you have open wounds that haven't healed yet…let's heal them together, okay? If time doesn't heal you…" She's suddenly embraced and it's the biggest show of affection. It's like whatever just occurred never happened, or more like it wasn't a big deal at all.
"You'll heal me" She finishes for him and smiles, choking on a knot in her throat. In his arms she finally realizes that… this is all human.
This is human. Crying and having wounds… is all human, the pain and the tightening of her chest, and the way her throat is itchy and dry from the strain…her heart keeps beating out of rhythm, her eyesight sore and reddish…
And it's all so beautiful. To feel like this, it's so beautiful.
"You'll heal me, Bruce!" She declares again, loving the way those words taste in her mouth, "You're so—, this is…" But a few snores force her mouth shut, and a giggle manages to escape her mouth in return.
Her companion is already asleep in their shared hug, exhaustion finally triumphing over.
She doesn't tell him, but she'll forever cherish the taste of his cheek on her lips after she tucks him into bed and falls asleep by his side once again.
—-
The morning comes in a rush and Lucoa awakens again, this time by the lack of warmth next to her body, the aftertaste of all that happened last night still fresh in her mind and body.
Something so chaotic and strong, and it only helped to bring them closer together…
With a smile she turns around and falls to the ground at the sight of the clock. It's past ten in the morning, and for the first time in her entire existence, she somehow overslept, probably thanks to the debilitating magic forced upon herself.
Berating herself, she transforms her scales into something a bit more appropriate than her normal tank-top (something she'd adopted after reading a few magazines around her companion's desk) and heads outside the bedroom to catch up on the day, already thinking she's missed her chance to spend the morning with Bruce, thanks to work.
But to her surprise, he's right there on the table, drawing who knows what, next to what seems to be two plates of food, one empty and the other…
Her heart clenches.
The other is waiting for her, warm and ready.
And it's all bickering from then on, a surprise hug and a yelp in response. He explains that it is a holiday, and she's not about to question the chance to spend more time together, so she accepts it and sits down to eat next to him.
They talk about nothing and whatever, all on beat with each other. An occurrence at his workplace, and news about some sort of vacation. Kobayashi wants them to visit, and his boss has been fired for another one, so it's all smiles the entire morning.
It's after they finish breakfast and she cleans the dishes that she finally asks, sitting down on the couch comfortably while half-watching a movie on low volume.
"Would you like to learn some magic?" It's an innocent question, one that she had pondered for a little bit before she even decided to ask.
He's all wide eyes and silence for a few after she voices it, and it's so cute she can't help but giggle.
"Is that possible?" He asks back and it's so cautious and skeptical, she wonders if she's ever given him a reason to doubt her.
She realizes it's probably his own doubts that were voiced.
"It is, but it's not easy…I can make it easy, but it's not fair—, aaand it's also against the rules" Another giggle, "But I can guide you and ignite that hidden spark, in a way" Shockingly he stands up straight and tenses, remaining silent until he catches her surprised eyes.
"M-My bad, I got a little excited" He's scratching the back of his head awkwardly and she can only smile in return, "But…that'd be insane, y'know, to learn magic" He sits down again, this time a little closer to her, not that she'd complain, "Is anyone capable of learning it?"
Of course, he's all questions as always.
"No, but all beings have potential for a lot of things" She gets into a serious mode, lecture time, and loves the way her companion's eyes grow focused, allowing her to cherish the undivided attention, "Magic is just one school of thought. Individuals that can't generate mana within themselves cannot possibly hope to perform it"
She morphs her scales to create a pair of glasses that drop on top of her nose, mimicking a certain nerdy character from a movie they recently watched.
"But if you can't perform magic, that doesn't mean that you don't have faith. Be faithful enough and a God or Deity may take a liking to you!" She leaves out the fact that it's practically impossible for a god or anything of the sort to choose him here, mainly because none exist in this world currently.
"So, holy magic-"
"No, holy prayers. There's no magic involved; and those that practice either will take great offense if you confuse that" He gasps and nods in agreement, silently making notes inside his head.
"What about curses?" He asks and it's no surprise that without warning her body tensed, part of her chest shivering at the words, even if she herself can perform such spells.
"I don't ever want you near them. If I am to teach you magic, you'll have to promise me to never investigate them, or have anything to do with them!" She's serious and dead-serious about it, not scaring him but clearly surprising her companion.
In a second he's nodding again.
"I promise, Lucoa" His words are sincere and honest, and she nods back in agreement with him.
"They're pacts…in a way. It's magic, but it's not magic that requires your mana or your powers to conjure. Some people call it free magic, but in reality, curses are a trap. Demons use them to get indirectly invited into another realm. Some demons are tame enough to demand only a part of your body…others, not so much. But one thing you need to remember about them…" she's up to his face in an instant, her eyes boring into his to add emphasis, "Curses only wish to cause harm on good people. To wreak havoc—, you'd be an idiot to believe you can outsmart a demon, for they're older than even me, and some are the utter incarnation of horrible things that have occurred"
When she finally finishes, there's a bit of sweat dripping down her forehead, and Bruce is gulping dry as if his life depended on it.
"I only say this because of your dummy collection of eldritch horrors and dark books. It's okay, I love them too, but it's quite disturbing and I don't want you running off to summon something stupid, is that okay?" She adds, breaking character for a second to relief the mood around them, and he nods again in understanding.
"Have you ever used curses?" He questions, curious as ever, and she remains silent as she ponders what to answer there.
Lying is always a no-go, because she is physically and emotionally unable to lie if it's with him.
Finally she sighs, and nods twice in agreement.
"You see this eye of mine?"
The words come out before he can seemingly stop them, and she's blushing at the meaning behind them.
"Yeah, I love that eye"
And it's a lot of apologies and that it's not what he meant even though she knows it is and it's cute, it makes her happy, and it's some seconds before they settle down again and get back on track.
"It's what I paid" She gulps and frowns, not quite ready to even get near that conversation yet.
"You paid with your eye?" He asks again and a comical drop of sweat falls down her side, "So not your eye…" He's about to throw a guess, but she knows how smart and witty he is, so for a second she stops time and starts debating herself.
On one hand it would be amazing for him to decipher why her eye is black. And on the other hand, she doesn't want him talking about anything curse related near her, lest her worse traumas come to light before she's ready to tackle them on her own.
Back in time, she lets him guess, and is then shown the utter potential within him to become something akin to a mage.
"The eyes are often a door to your soul, or a mirror I guess, so you paid with a part of your soul?" He deduces and she must've remained stunned for too long because he has to repeat her name again before she finally reacts.
"Not—, well, yes my soul, but rather…" And it's hard to speak about it, because she doesn't want Bruce to ask more questions and find out why she exactly came in contact with a demon, but still continues anyway, "It just tainted me, for a lack of a better word. It wanted to control my body, and the demon did for a while but I managed to assimilate and destroy him inside my soul before he could take full control of it…this" She points to her dark eye, "Is just a remnant of his power, which I decided to keep for myself!"
"That's,,,crazy, I guess" He chuckles, and it's clearly a lot for him to assimilate so she only nods in response, "And you discovered I have a spark for…magic?" He questions once again and she's all too happy to nod in reply.
"Oh you have one, alright. We're linked together, Bruce. You're linked to a goddess—, ah, an exiled one. That's more than enough to show that you're special in a way-, n-not that you weren't before, on either case" She manages to catch herself before it's a complete fuck up and he laughs in reply, "And I also took a peek at your soul, ju—just to make sure" A frown makes her backtrack and grow worried. Maybe that was a mistake?
"You took a peek at my soul?" He asks again and she nods hesitatingly, because she did it at night, when he was sleeping.
Without his permission…
She's about to drop in the biggest waterfall of excuses and apologies, but his mouth opens again and she shuts her mind into mute.
"And what's it look like?" He's not asking in a kind way, more like in a what's done is done, and she's ashamed, so much that her head angles down to look at the floor beneath them, "Lucoa-," She lifts her eyes up to see him once again, but this time there's fear and wonder inside them, "I-Is it dark?"
It breaks her into a million pieces for him to ask that, because it's so far from the truth.
His soul is a flame, so bright, so strong. Equal to no other. It is colorful and comforting, surrounded by heat and freedom. It's vast and wide and all filled with love but…
In truth, it is also caged. Like a blue bird meant to be free, it's caged, embraced by strong and unbearably golden bars. Everything around it is dark, and the cage itself is also shackled, chains hanging upon it for dear life as something tenses them…something mean, something horrible.
Maybe that's why he asks if it's dark. Because she's seen it, the way he cries in his sleep, the way he goes quiet after a talk…
"It's a beautiful soul, the most beautiful I've ever seen, I promise" She finds some words to tell him, because there's no way she can describe his soul to him at all, it's all too much, "It just needs to be freed. And I can help you with that" She doesn't explain further, but he understands and that's enough for her, "I'm sorry for not asking before doing that.."
"No, it's fine" He sighs and scratches the back of his head again, "Just ask me next time, alright? I'm…not that sane inside my brain" He chuckles, but it's dry and his eyes are looking nowhere in specific. She wants to console him, but a barrier he's built won't let her.
She settles down and accepts she can't help him, and instead reaches out to hold him by the arm.
"Let's not dwell on that, okay?" She tries and her eyes shine magically. In an instant, they're floating and Bruce is all gasps and chuckles, "Let's talk about magic! You love it, yes?"
"Is there anyone that doesn't?" He asks, spinning in the air and enjoying himself.
"In this world, I'm not sure. Humans in my world, sure they do!" And it's serious too but she's snickering, outright laughing when he pushes her lightly and the zero gravity makes her drift away in slow motion.
"So this is magic?" He asks and evades one push of her own with ease, making her pout and attempt again. It's a small shove war now.
"On its most simplest form, yeah" She grins triumphant once her hand manages keep Bruce in place, his back stuck to the ceiling, "I'd love to start with this, but first we need you to build a container inside your soul that can keep reserves of mana"
"Sounds…strange. Is mana like…stamina?" He questions, and again, she's not like Tohru. She knows everything regarding mana, its attributes, where it comes from and how to gather it.
"You can think of it that way, sure. It's a form of energy, but it's not independent of your stamina…in fact, it fuses with it. Make someone like Tohru run out of mana and she'll be exhausted and unable to move for a while" She explains in the easiest way she can muster and he doesn't take long to assimilate it.
"Then I need to exercise?"
"We need to get it started. It's like a fire, you have the spark, we need the fuel" They're back on the floor now, gravity back to normal, "Usually wizards take decades to bring out the fuel, or have mentors that allow them easier access" She smiles and walks closer to him.
"Oh well, in that case I guess I'm in good hands, huh?" She beams up to his words and takes hold of his hands, pulling him even closer to her.
"You have an exiled goddess by your side, you couldn't ask for any better help! Now, are you ready?" It's a question she knows the answer to and he's nodding before she even finishes her sentence.
"I am"
"Okay. Then let's get started" And then she parts her lips, walks even closer to him.
And kisses him right in the mouth.