We cut to a bat-themed Gangler woman with neutral brown fur, lighter brown fur around the chest, muzzle and stomach. She had a round face with a small heart-shaped nose. Her mouth was full of fangs with a single fang sticking out as a sort of kitty tooth. Her amber eyes seemed to twinkle with mischief and joy, and curly/frizzled hair in pastel colors like lime green, cyan and bubblegum pink exploded out from her head.
She was wearing black and red clothing consisting of long gloves without fingers, a top that showed cleavage and her stomach, a cute shirt and long boots. She had a short pointy tail and a pair of black wings on her back. She was wearing a light yellow/beige scarf and she had a small Gangler safe located in between her mammaries which was only visible around the right angle.
"Hi everybody. Jinxerbat Desmodia, aka Jinx here. You may remember me from the Kaitou San'ningumi Yoshimaizers fanfic which was cancelled after one episode due to the author's short attention span, and decides to include our future adventures in the fic.
Also don't forget to check out our alternate counterparts in the Shinobiryu Sentai Dinninger and as of recently the The Completely Normal Adventures of Cousin Giffrey and Friends/The Ascension of Sakura Igarashi and Other Tales series by Ri2 on and AO3. Hashtag totally not a shameless promotion by KivatheDCWizard for his buddy and toku bro's works.
For those whom are going to ignore me and are too lazy to check them out. I'm a Gangler, whom doesn't like the conventional crimes. Instead me and my two fiancées go around doing whatever we want because I'm crazy and random as heck, mostly steal from the rich and corrupt, give to the poor and downtrodden and a bit to ourselves because rent won't pay itself, have lots of sex, on occasion help the Sentai and Kamen Riders of the world, have lots more sex and are back home in time for spaghetti Tuesday! Did I mention the sex?"
"Jinx, what are you doing this time?" a slender black feminine figure asked. She was a peacock spider-themed Fangire, as was evident from the stained glass pattern adorned her body in various shades of blue and spiderweb patterns. She had a collar resembling peacock feathers also made from blue stained glass, eight eyes made of the same, and four long spider-legs sporting from her back, each one tipped with a blue claw-like glass shard. A coattail/robe themed after peacock feathers trailed from her lower back and waist behind her.
"Two things: One is Catching up any reader to our backstory whom doesn't know it at this point. To the dear readers, this is one of my hot fiancées, the Peacock Spider Fangire Tamariko and she is a very skilled and smart scientist. She even invented the life force substitute for Fangires and other soul/lifeforce eaters so Fangire don't have to eat living beings anymore. Unless they still want to because they're mean and have to be destroyed by toku heroes of course.
Back to you, Tammy…second is I may have found your time machine and may have accidentally used it." Jinx noted.
"How do you accidentally use a time machine?" and it was supposed to be behind lock and key." Tamariko groaned.
"You use the same password for everything." Jinx noted.
"That's one me." Tamariko admitted.
"Why did you make a time machine to begin with?" Jinx asked.
"Because all high ranked omnidisciplinary scientists have one. Don't worry, I only use it to look into alternate timelines to see if any invention I make would not end in an apocalypse. I wouldn't want to accidentally prevent us and Karashi from ever meeting. Though, I haven't noticed too big of time shifts so the damage you've done isn't that bad, is it?"
"You notice when the timelines shift?" Jinx asked.
"Yeah, when you create a time machine, you take measures. The nanobots I injected into us and Karashi so that we are immune to all diseases and poisons also include paradox inhibitors so that we're basically artificial singularity points. I don't want an idiot with time travel or my own mistakes with time experiments erase our relationship." Tamariko explained.
"Aw, you will not get rid of me that easily, silly. I'm stuck to you like lube." Jinx said.
"The expression is 'stuck like glue'." Tamariko pointed out.
"That's silly, how are you able to have good sex with glue? I learned my lesson after the glitter incident. For weeks, sparkles came out of my va-" Jinx noted.
"That's enough…now, what did you do during your time travel?" Tamariko noted. "While no hard shifts are detected, want to make sure to have as little paradoxes as possible."
"Well…"
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"Weeeeeeeeeeeeee!" Jinx fell down from the sky and landed on somebody. "I forgot I could fly." Jinx noted as she dusted herself off. "Oh my gosh! I killed LupinYellow and the guy from Sin Clock. "No, I'm not supposed to be a murderer. Not of the innocents at least. I am going to go to jail, or time jail for the murder. I'd have to be careful to not drop the time soap, and make a time shiv out of it to plan my time escape…"
"Er…those were time criminals charged with killing gods and attempts to killing other gods." Tsumuri explained. "I was about to send them back."
"Oh…ok, that's fine. I kill evil people only so that's fine. To be sure, best to give you my card. You do that in these situations, right?" Jinx noted. She pulled out a playing card from her cleavage, the Queen of hearts…and it was decorated with a picture of Heart Queen in her youth when she did some risqué fotoshoots on the side. It also has Jinx' info written on it along 'she was quite a f***able hottie in her youth' by Jinx. "Here it is. It has my info, name, era I come from…"
"Wait, you carry a playing card with info on your time zone? Did you prepare this before you time travelled?" Tsumuri asked.
"Nope, I had it on me way before then." Jinx stated.
"But you didn't know you'd time travel, why would you have it?" Tsumuri got more confused.
"In case I'd actually time travel." Jinx said.
"How would you know that?" Tsumuri asked.
"I didn't." Jinx said. "Now, next time hop." Jinx pulled out the stopwatch device. "Before I go…Ace, Neon and Keiwa would totally include you in their polycule."
"Wait, what?" Tsumuri said as Jinx vanished.
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"Kamen Rider Zero-One…you are 1000 percent getting…" Gai Amatsu/Kamen Rider Thouser said as suddenly Jinx materialized and kicked him in the balls. "…Ah, my Thousand Jacker!"
"Bye!" Jinx said as she vanished.
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"Rinko, did your suit change? You went from wonderland to cybernetic huntress." Haruto Soma/Kamen Rider Wizard asked his fiancée.
"Yeah, that's odd. Kamen Rider Wonder still exists but she is now her own Rider separate from me as it appears that is a theme that would be able to carry its own series…of adventures. I still have Jabberwock though."
"I like the cybernetic look." Jabberwock said as she checked out her new body. "I still have my sexy."
"For some reason I'm a stage Magician now." Yuzuru said, his Rider form having changed and now joined by the Phantom Anansi. "Wonder where the Forge powers went."
"I am Forge!" Shunpei said happily.
"This is the worst timeline." Mayu said, still Kamen Rider Cleric.
Time shifted again as now Shunpei was a Kamen Rider Mage with an ugly brown gemstone. "Aw…"
"Hey, I'm Forge now!" Shunpei's Phantom Cyclops said. He was joined by Abel, Yuzuru's former Phantom before the time shift.
"You already took my spot as apprentice, and now you are Forge! You are a Phantom yourself, why do you have Abel?" Shunpei asked.
"I dunno." Cyclops shrugged.
"Oh well, wish I had something better then Mage, but at least I'm a Rider…" Shunpei said before he turned back human, without a driver or magic. He just sighed and hung his head.
"You are back to your old usefulness: None!" Dragon snarked.
"That's not nice to say. You are right but its not nice." Haruto said.
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"I will win the competition, Zero-One, no one will…" Kamen Rider Thouser was back at it against the heroes. But Jinx flew in, and landed a drop kick…not in his chest but again below the belt. "Ah! My progrise Keys!" he whined as Jinx vanished again.
"I don't know where that weird bat girl is coming from but I like her." Yua Yaiba noted.
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"It's a festival!" Don Momotaro announced, form on top of his motorcycle, carried on the platform by his manservants and female servants throwing confetti and petals around…and they suddenly vanished.
The Zenkaigers blinked for a few moments as the successor that cameo'd vanished due to time shifts. "What were we doing again?" Kaito asked.
"I'm not the only one whom has forgotten something?" Great Kotatsu World asked.
"Yeah…we're just going to destroy you the old fashioned wai. ZenkaiOh!" Kaito said as he turned his teammates into their Zord forms.
"I should have stepped on them when I got the chance." Great Kotatsu World realized.
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"I am 1000 percent…" Gai Amatsu said again, as Jinx appeared and kicked him in the groin…Only to hear a clang. "Hah! I put a cup down there, no way you are damaging my future heirs any further."
"Aside the fact you'll never be able to bed anyone…" Jinx pulled out a sledgehammer and slammed it into Gai's groin, doing damage her foot couldn't.
"Gah! Why does this keep happening to me?" Gai whined.
"Nobody likes you!" Jinx, dressed like Jade from VicTorious said before vanishing, leaving behind a whimpering Gai.
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The original OOO, the evil one from 800 or years or so ago was about to go to bed to his wife. Then Jinx stepped out of the bedroom, pulling up her panties and then tidying her mini-skirt. "Sorry, I f***ed your wife! She was on the list of historical figures that were on a freebie list which I went over with my wives. We're extremely polyamorous. Bye now and happy birthday!" Jinx then vanished.
King OOO blinked and muttered: "What?" Then a cake fell out of the sky and splattered on his head.
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"Just you wait, I will defeat you!" Gai Amatsu said to Zero-One and his allies…whom all busted out laughing. , whom were also there also busted out laughing. Because Gai was speaking in a high pitched tone due to all the groin assaults. "Stop laughing! My reproductive organs were mutilated, it's no laughing matter!" but he was still high pitched and they couldn't stop laughing. "Damnit, why doesn't the voice filter work?"
Jinx threw the voice filter she nicked onto the ground and stepped on it. She whistled as she went into another time portal.
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"Oh my gosh, I landed on someone again. Wait, it it Takahura or the actor playing a different role and confusing him for it. Because otherwise, poor actor!" Jinx noted.
"My brother…" Fuuka Igasaki said. "He was about to become Akaninger!"
"He's still alive, but he took a big blow to the head and is in coma…I'm honestly surprised that did anything seeing as his head is empty." Kasumi Momochi said as she checked out Takahura.
"What do we do?" the Kibaoni Army Corps has returned." Nagi Matsuo said.
"You, become Akaninger." Jinx said as she picked the red shuriken from the comatose Takahura. She passed it on to Fuuka. "Because I know in a near future you are able to best your brother so now use the chance of my accidental temporal meddling to shine." She also handed a note of paper. "Also, try this ninjutsu move with the other female cousin."
Fuuka blinked as she took the NinShuriken and the note. "Why would I need to turn into an anime girl?"
"But she is a girl, she is not even the eldest…" Yoshitaka Igasaki asked. As he was interrupted by a spray bottle to the face.
"No, bad old fashioned conservative ninja grandpa! Bad! Keep an open mind! Bad!" Jinx said.
"Are you spraying me like a naught pet?" Yoshitaka said. Jinx kept spraying him. "Ok, now you're getting annoying." Jinx kept spraying. "All right, I'll let her be Akaninger."
"Good. Also sexy brainy pink ninja…" she gave a shuriken to Kasumi. "If they can use evil energy and a ninja star to make yokai, you can use this shuriken, science and light energy to make a new waifu…I Mean Sentai…Sentai ninja waifu!" Jinx said. "Ok, bye!" Jinx vanished.
"The f***?" Kasumi said.
"You know, the sun is so…glowy!" Yoshitaka suddenly said as he zoned out. "Hey grandkids, know that I love you…screw the traditions and kick that Youkai's butts your style."
"I think the bat girl put something in that spray bottle." Fuuka noted.
"I'm going to analyze. You know, for science." Kasumi said.
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"I am a God, I am Kuroto Dan…" Kamen Rider Genm said before Jinx popped in and kicked him in the groin. "Yah! My Trick Flywheels!"
"Hah, not me this time!" Gai Amatsu said. Then Jinx swooped in and put a taser to his go-nads. "Ah! Why?"
"Thanks for reminding me!" Jinx said as she vanished.
"What is going on?" Kuroto asked.
"I don't know!" Gai whined.
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Jinx reappears in a supermarket and plopped huge wads of cash on the counter. "I want to buy all these…" Jinx motioned to a series of chocolate bars in her shopping cart. "This is totally not money belonging to Eiji Hino's corrupt douchebag family members and I am totally not buying them knowing that in the future where I come from these don't get made anymore, and I always regretted that."
"Don't get paid enough to question this so sure…Paper or plastic?" the cashier asked.
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"…By the way, I took the chocolates from the past. Since they don't get produced anymore, can you analyze one to make sure you can produce more of these delicious treats with your powers of science?" Jinx asked.
"You are asking me to use my incredible intellect to recreate your fav discontinued chocolate bar?" Tamariko asked.
"Position Phi-Chi-Delta." Jinx whispered as she held out one of the chocolate bars.
Tamariko blushed and took the chocolate. "I have room in my schedule for that experiment." She said with a hint of delight in her voice.
"Hey, I got back from walking Yoshi. What is up?" the third member of the menage-a-trois asked. She was a Basilisk Legendorga, resembling massive anthropomorphic Titanoboa, her scales a mix of brownish and green. She had a feathery crest on top of her head that was a dirty red with shades of light brown and orange mixed in. She had armored segments over her body that were more at home on a dinosaur then a serpent. She had a long, strong tail with spines across the tips. Her eyes were cybernetic, with glowing baby blue lights for pupils. She also had a mouth full of sharp fangs, two pointing down from her upper lip. Strangely, she looked more like a giant big friendly puppy than a terrifying snake monster.
"Oh hi, Karashi. It started when I broke the fourth wall again…" Jinx said.
"I wish I could see these wall people you are always talking to. They seem nice. Because you talk to them in a friendly way so they must be nice. Hey wall people, know I may not see or hear you, I love you all!" Karashi said.
"No Karashi, stay away from the…" Tamariko said. There was a crashing sound. "Wall…"
"That was not the type of wall I was talking about." Jinx noted.
"Oh sorry, I broke things again." Karashi said as she put the tips of her index finger together in a sheepish way.
"I'll fix it later." Tamariko said.
"So where was I? Oh yes, the purple spotted green platypus…" Jinx said.
"We were not talking about that." Tamariko pointed it out.
"I know, but I wanted to get that ball rolling." Jinx said. "But if you want me to be truthful, I accidentally used Tammy's time machine, improved the timeline and Tamariko is going to make us chocolates after some very good sexy time."
"I love sexy time." Karashi said.
"She also says how important we are by using her sexy brainpower full of science to make sure we never die or time is never changed so we never met." Jinx noted. "Because she loves us time infinity!"
"Aw, I love you times infinity too, Tammy!" Karashi said as she pulled the two in a hug. "Group hugs are nice."
"If you ignore the backpain, yes." Tamariko said.
"YOSHI!" the face of a Gouram peered in through the hole Karashi made, thrusted his arms inward to break more of the wall, to pull everyone in the house into a hug.
"Yoshi! Not again!" Tamariko said.
"Oh er…nice meeting you. I'm your new neighbor Keev. I'm from Belgium and I moved into the apartment next door. Your giant pet is…very affectionate it seems."
"Oh, why did you move here? You don't seem as a reformed villain or part of a race of kaijin." Tamariko asked.
"I'm human. And I moved here because the rent is cheap." Keev said.
"Oh, and you don't mind you live surrounded by non-humans?" Karashi asked.
"Nah. Why should I? They are people too." Keev noted.
"Anyhow, I'm Jinx. This sexy brainy spider is Tamariko, this puppy snake gal is Karashi…" Jinx said.
"I already love you; Mr. Keev." Karashi said.
"Karashi loves everyone." Tamariko said.
"And you met our giant pet, Yoshi already of course. The Humag-I mean, cat that was taking a nap before Yoshi pulled her in the group hug is Nyatalie."
A Humagear Sold whom has taken on the form of a Tigress-themed Sold Magia. She whispered to Keev: "I have a good gig, being a pet, being pampered and given love by my new snake mama, and no one has the heart to correct her. I don't want to go back to being a footsoldier for a corporate douchebag." Keev nodded at Nyatalie's explanation. "Now, give me head pats!" she said as she leaned in, and a befuddled Keev just gave her the head pats.
"This big cod here is Carl." Jinx pulled out a large smiling cod with a clown nose.
"I am a whale!" the cod said.
"Er…sure you are." Keev said.
"I am a whale!"
"Finally…er, whom are you?" Jinx said as she looked at a female Orphnoch themed after a Whip Scorpion.
"Oh hi, I'm Whipley. I was here about the ad." She pulled out the add. "It says: 'live in housekeeper wanted whom would keep our apartment neat and tidy while we go out to have Robin Hood-esque adventures, only more random and with loads of sex. Inclusion in the polycule is a bonus, but not a requirement'. Have to disappoint in the last part since I'm Ace, but I can help with anything else. Also I need to save up for my Orphnoch DNA degradation syndrome…"
"I can solve that problem, I'm a scientist, you're hired." Tamariko said.
"I love you already, Miss Whipley. You're my dear friend."
"Er, the apartment…" Keev noted.
"Don't worry, I have a fix-it ray that undoes collateral damage." Tamariko said.
"Whoa…for a country like Japan where mecha and giant fights are common, that will be a revolutionary concept." Keev noted.
"Yeah, but I still need to find a way to mass produce it and keep it affordable without corporate and political douchebags would try to use it to fill their pockets more. And that is going to be harder than the actual repair beam." Tamariko said.
"I was just telling my future wives about how I time traveled." Jinx said.
"That's not something I expected to ever hear." Keev said as he blinked.
"You stay for dinner? We thought about having pasta." Jinx said.
"If there is pasta, yes." Keev said.
"Oh, you love pasta?" Karashi asked.
"More than life itself."
"I have a recipe, but it is a bit experimental. I add a bit of syrup and some curry…" Whipley noted.
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"On today's news…a celebration is held for Fuuka Igasaki in the Toku hall of fame. Though hailing from a ninja clan whom even among other ninja clans wasn't very well liked for their weird traditions and way of doing things, since Fuuka has taken over the family legacy and has led a successful ninja sentai team, she had a huge part in improving the standing of the ninja clan.
An autobiography is being written for the Empress Marise of the Ozu Empire, whose benevolent rule has spanned most of Europe for the past 814 years. Empress Beyond Infinity: How a night with a sexy bat lady changed my life. Empress Marise is said to give more info in regards to the upcoming autobiography after the party held next week in honor of the birth of her heir, the daughter of her adopted heir Eiji Hino aka Kamen Rider OOO and his wife Hina Hino (née Izumi).
Thouser-Intellion, Gai Amatsu's latest venture went broke only after a few months after a defect in his voice filter caused him to be laughed at during a press conference, causing him to snap and leading to a series of events where he fought Kamen Rider Zero One and his allies, ending up defeated again. But this time he has been put in a mental hospital with no hope of recovery for his mental state.
Finally, you know the drill. After the Zenkaigers released the multiverse from being imprisoned in a gear, a new evil rises up called Hitotsuki but the newest Sentai the Avataro Sentai Donsisters are on the case. Not only reverting the transformed humans back to normal but also reaching out to the scientific corner of the toku community to find a way to prevent Hitotsukis from manifesting in humans. Though the process is slow as the Hitotsuki don't seem to be either genetic, scientific or magical in nature and may be something else entirally. Though they are hopeful to have ended the plague within the year, which is the standard time most Sentai need to deal with the big threat they're facing."
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Five individuals in colorful attire approached the Hitotsuki. All holding a Donblaster. "Let's get this festival going my comrades." A very sexy and busty woman dressed as a princess in a red kimono with magenta accents said. She had a peach emblem on her chest and a crown with a peach emblem crown.
An orange skinned Oni girl was on her left side. She had black hair and two short black horns, yellow eyes with stars in as pupils, black spots under her eyes, and cute fangs. She wore a yellow t-shirt and had a green hoodie with oversized sleeves, a skirt and black leggings. She was utterly adorable.
A wolfhound Zyuman in black punk gear grinned at the Hitotsuki as if it was a nice juicy steak, which unnerved the monster.
A woman in a blue, black short hair with a blue streak, pushed her glasses further up her nose.
The only male member was a young man. He had spiky hair, headphones, a white t-shirt, pink sleeveless jacket, baggy pants and had a bored look on his face. And maybe a bit depressed. The t-shirt depicting a wing-like insignia and a keychain on his pants of a bird attached to his pants.
The princess in red spoke up: "Laugh and rejoice my friends, the festival is here." She said in a soft and warm tone. They put the Avatar Gears into the Donblasters and spun them around.
AVATAR CHANGE!
YO~! DON! DON! DON! DONBURAKO!
MOMO-HIME! JAPAN'S NUMBER ONE PRINCESS!
'OOK AT THOSE PECS!
THIS ONI'S GONNA CLUB YOU!
ARF YOU READY?
TORICKY!
The soft spoken woman in red was now laughing loud and bombastically. "Declare yourself, my friends!"
"Riches aren't treasure. Saru Sister, Sachiko Saruhashi!" the blue Donsister said in a firm, calm tone.
"Dreaming of greatness. Oni Sister, R-R-Rinka Shiranuhi!" She sounded shy and struggled a bit but tried her best to sound sure of herself.
"Behave, or get wrecked! Inu Sister, Akita!" She totally wasn't a cgi-generated Chibi and had a normal Sentai suit. Her voice sounded like a growl.
"Drown out the noise, hearing only my thoughts! Kiji Brother, Yusei Ootori!" the Pink Ranger which totally wasn't CGI generated and had a normal length. His voice sounded bored and sad.
"Sweet as a peach! Don Momohime! Himeko Momozono!" the Red Sentai declared. "United in siblinghood, celebrating every day of our life! Avataro Sentai…"
"DONSISTERS!" they said in unison.
"All right everyone, that was a good first roll call. Well done." Himeko said.
"I did slip up a bit and stuttered." Rinka said softly.
"I wonder what the deal was, does it serve practical use aside showing off?" Akita asked annoyed.
"It just creates more noise…I hope for a silent moment soon." Yusei droned.
"It is like a very short theater, or a very short poetry recital. It is up my alley. It allows me to shine, no gold or treasure needed." Sachiko said.
The Hitotsuki growled at them.
"Rawr back at ya! I'll start firing this, right after it shove it up your…" Akita growled, but Himeko raised a finger to prevent her from finishing that sentence.
"Oh dear, he looks fierce. W-W-What if I'm not strong enough?" Rinka stammered.
"You're stronger then you think. Hence you are on this team. Just follow my lead. I'll have your back. And if you fall down, I help you get up, ok?" Himeko said, putting a hand on Rinka's shoulder. Rinka nodded.
"His noise…it is deafening. It drowns out the pleasant noises he had in his soul. Let's quiet his darkness." Yusei added.
"To cease the noise, born of pride. For quiet to come, we remove the blight. Ambition clouded a mind, a demon's born. Now to grab the monster by the horns." Sachiko said, as if doing a poetry recital.
"Ready everyone?" Himeko pulled out the Zanglassword. Rinka had an Oni's Kanobo, Akita had an oversized shuriken, Yusei a bladed feather-like fan, and Sachiko a pair of gauntlets shaped like fists. "Let's go!" they charged at the Hitotsuki.
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"Oh…I don't know how I caused that, but that has to be an improvement." Jinx said as she watched the footage of the news.
Then a sound went off in her pocket. "Kai-kai-jin! Kai-kai-kaijnner!"
"Oh, I got a mail." Jinx said as she pulled out a weird phone and dialed away.
"Where did you get that new phone?" Tamariko asked.
"Found it." Jinx said. "Totally not something that may cause me to become a Sentai myself one day. Though in theory, if that happens and you fear that my duties as a hero may lessen our times together, I'm sure you can whip up something like let's say a few rider belts for you on your own?"
"What?" Tamariko asked.
"Never mind, forget it." Jinx said.
"I can't know, now you dropped that bomb. I have so many questions!" Tamariko said.
"Sorry, no time to answer, the chapter ends now."
"What are you-"